Thanks To Pan Goatee, Another Fat Ugly Blimp and Her Moronic Boyfriend Bite The Dust

February 28, 2022 at 10:20 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

World famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee poses for a selfie with a huge fan this past weekend

You’d think after last week’s three days of serial killing sprees that fat ugly blimps and their moronic boyfriends would finally learn to stay out of the limelight (or any other light for that matter) but seeing as how fat ugly blimps and their moronic boyfriends aren’t exactly the brighest lights in the cosmos, this huge hint was lost on them.

Pan Goatee the genetically created satyr serial killer was sitting on a sideways looking seat on a Calgary Transit bus when suddenly a fat ugly blimp sat across from him.

She might as well have been wearing a t-shirt that read BEHEAD ME PLEASE.

Her low-IQ moronic looking boyfriend sat next to her.

Pan Goatee moved to another seat where he wouldn’t have to look at the fat ugly blimp’s fat ugly face.

Upon Pan Goatee moving, the low-IQ moronic looking boyfriend then went and sat in Pan Goatee’s former seat across from her so he could look at her fat ugly face.

Then when the duo finally decided to get off the bus, the two bimbos rather than getting off the bus at the door closest to them chose to walk down and get off the bus at the door closest to Pan Goatee.

The bimbos had their chance to live and they blew it.

Pan Goatee sprang into action.

He beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

As Krampus the demon goat arrived to carry the fat ugly blimp’s remains down to Tartarus, Pan went to work on the low-IQ moronic looking boyfriend.

He cut his head off and then cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

Calgary’s airheaded Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor Jyoti Gondek (who had been riding the bus) protested, “That man and his girlfriend voted for me.”

“Well,” Goatee replied, “I guess you can cross their names off the voters’ list ”

. . .

Despite declaring an end to the Emergencies Act last week, Canada’s would-be Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau still hadn’t returned any of the money his government had seized from political dissidents’ bank accounts.

In fact Justin’s good Fascist buddies at the Canandian Bankers’ Association started running TV commercials promoting Digital ID and urging everyone to get it.

Justin and his buddies the bankers were still pushing an Antichrist Mark of the Beast system.

And it was revealed that Justin’s Whore of Babylon Nazi/Communist Hybrid Deputy Prime Minister of Canada and Federal Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland serves on the Board of Directors of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum.

Schwab had said in an interview back on January 10th 2016 that everyone would have to take a digital ID chip in the next 10 years.

Israeli researcher Yuval Noah Hariri a staunch supporter of Transhumanism and the coming Homo Deus (that would replace Homo sapiens) says that everyone will take the chip and have their brain wirelessly connected to a computer and lose their free will but this will be a good thing.

NATO and the EU are not fighting for democracy and freedom but for a dystopian New World Order where everyone will be microchipped and have their minds controlled by AI.

Vladimir Putin is fighting for a revived Czarist Russian Empire.

Neither side is fighting for democracy and freedom.

Ukraine would do well not to be part of either system.

. . .

In a TV interview, Asmodeus the cigarette smoking demon of lust said that NATO and the European Union are under the control of the demons Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Moloch.

While Vladimir Putin’s government is under the control of the Fallen Archangel Mephistopheles and the demon Pereplut.

Neither side is fighting for God.

. . .

And in Beijing, that supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon was telling Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping that now was the time to invade Taiwan.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 28th


  1. Tanya said,

    Ha ha my fav. Pan Goetee slaying ugly ones. Whose picture is this? I mean as Pan Goetee?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      He’s a professional stage magician who lives in Belgium and his name is Aaron Crow.

      • Tanya said,

        He is perfect face for Pan Goetee

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, when I first saw him perform a magic act on America’s Got Talent back in 2018, I said to myself, “That’s Pan Goatee. That’s the way I always pictured Pan Goatee would look.”

      • Tanya said,

        I’m gonna Google him πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think they have his America’s Got Talent performances on YouTube.

        I remember his acts used to scare the Hell out of Simon Cowell and Howie Mandell. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  2. David Redpath said,

    The inscrutable Mister Inn Lu says he’s
    advised Xi Jinping it would be prudent
    to wait and see if Putin succeeds, or
    gets his lily white arse sanctioned to Kingdom come, with extreme Molotov
    cocktail prejudiceπŸ”₯

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, if Putin gets his lily white ass burnt with extreme Molotov cocktail prejudice, Xi may not want to move.

      • David Redpath said,

        I always suspect that Vladimir Putin
        was an under cover White Russian.
        Sooner or later he’ll be strung up by
        the cossacks πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜πŸ‘

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And when George Costanza of Seinfeld walks by and sees what has occurred, he’ll say in his usual classic understatement style, “That’s gotta hurt.” 😲

      • David Redpath said,

        … even more than being strung up
        by the bolsheviks 😡 πŸ€”

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Exactly. 😎

  3. Crandew said,

    “World famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee poses for a selfie with a huge fan this past weekend” – haha, you’re killing me. Brilliant as always.

  4. George F. said,

    I can’t wait for the TV series.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Maybe the producers of the CBC TV series Heartland will set out to produce another TV series set in southern Alberta – a series with a harder and grittier edge- like the edge of Pan Goatee’s astral laser machete.

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