Joe Biden Hopes To Outleap Jack Kennedy’s Giant Leap To The Moon
The photographer had travelled back in time to take her photo.
He had seen her in a dream.
But he knew that she was real.
And that she had actually lived.
In a time before him.
So he took the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern film projector in his hand.
And went back to that time.
He got her to pose for him.
“I’ve never seen you before,” the woman said when the photo session was over.
“That’s because I come from another time,” he answered her.
The way he said it, she knew he spoke the truth.
And she gathered that he had come from the future.
“Why did you come to this time?” She asked.
“Because,” he answered, “I wanted to come to a time when women were women. And men weren’t.”
. . .
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of senile old fool Joe Biden making what he called an important announcement.
“An announcement,” a totally brown hair couloured Jen Psaki said, “that would be even more earth shattering than President John F. Kennedy’s May 25th 1961 address to a joint session of Congress in which he said he wanted to put a man on the moon by 1970.”
Joe Biden approached the podium wearing only a face mask.
And actually wearing ONLY a face mask.
A geriatric production of The Emperor’s New Clothes designed to turn heads and turn stomachs.
Biden then took off his face mask.
“Ladies and gentlemen and others,” Biden began, “I have an important announcement to make. Even more important than that Jack Kennedy guy’s speech where he wanted to put a man on the moon by 1970. I intend to make 90% of the American Armed Forces LGBTQ2s+ by the year 2030.”
One old timer watching at home on television whispered to another old timer, “I wonder if Stanley Kubrick will rise from the grave to direct this production the same way some people claim that he directed John F. Kennedy’s original dream.”
. . .
The pro-Sodom and Gomorrah government of Ireland in the Irish Republic’s capital of Dublin was absolutely thrilled by Biden’s historic announcement.
They commissioned the writing of a new Irish Army Fighting Song to celebrate the day.
One that was written by the end of the day.
The song was written to the tune of the old Tommy Makem and The Clancy Brothers song Bold O’ Donohue.
Here are some of the lyrics that were to be sung by the soldiers in the Irish Army,
“Oh I’m a puff and you’re a puff and he’s a puffter too
And everywhere we go, they say, Oh there’s O’ Donohue…”
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin watched Biden’s “historic” announcement and the 1st official singing of the new Irish Army Fighting Song on television along with his top Russian generals.
When the news clips were over, Putin gazed solemnly and sadly at each Russian general present in the room.
Finally he spoke.
“You know,” Putin sighed, “It’s finally dawned on me that the Ukrainians might not be the fierce ferocious fighters that they are had we allowed them to join NATO many years ago.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 29th
2022.
Renfield’s Monday Night Podcast and Michelangelo’s Vision of Renfield At Future Oscars
Violinist Tina Guo is performing with the Hans Zimmer Live Tour over in Europe
Hans Zimmer won Best Musical Score for the movie Dune at last night’s Oscars
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Monday night podcast.
Said Renfield, “A few days ago senile old fool Joe Biden was in Poland shooting his mouth off about “freedom” and “liberty”.
What does a vaccinazi despot like Joe Biden know about “freedom” and “liberty” when he wanted to impose a national vaccine mandate on all of America?
The senile old fool Joe Biden also called for “Putin to be removed from power”. There’s nothing like tellng the leader of a rival nuclear power that you want him removed from power.
Of course Joe Biden’s handlers want nuclear war with Russia.
That way they can reduce the world’s population without waiting for those vaccine booster shots to kick in.
Although they are doing an excellent job in my own country of England.
British government data shows that 92.2% of all Covid deaths are among the triple vaccinated.
And last week Eastern European members of the European Parliament gave visiting Canadian Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau the raspberry that he so richly deserved.
Romanian and Croatian MEPs mentioned how he sent police horses to trample peaceful protestors and then passed an Emergencies Act so that he could seize the bank accounts of people whose political views he disagreed with.
This is the stuff of dictatorship the Romanian and Croatian MEPs pointed out (who were all too familiar with Communist dictators in their own countries).
Even the Presidents of both El Salvador and Honduras have called Justin Trudeau a despot and a dictator for sending police horses to trample protestors and for seizing bank accounts.
Personally I think Justin Trudeau should be publicly hanged by the neck until dead and his Nazi/Communist hybrid hag henchwoman Chrystia Freeland should be burnt at the stake as a witch.
Failing that, both of them should be charged with high treason against the Charter of Rights in the Canadian Constitution (that Justin’s stepdad Pierre had put in) and then thrown in jail.
If Justin Castro Trudeau was to have his lily white ass sodomized numerous times while he was in prison,that would be the best thing that could ever happen to him.”
. . .
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of a future Oscars ceremony some years down the road.
Renfield had been nominated for the role of Best Actor for playing the role of Prince Hal in a Kenneth Branagh directed production of William Shakespeare’s Henry IV Part 1.
Michelangelo was surprised to see Renfield was married in the vision as he sat at a front table close to the stage with his wife.
A foul mouthed comedian Justin Trudeau was to present the next award for Best Porn Film (a new Oscar category) in Michelangelo’s vision.
Foul mouthed comedian Justin Trudeau was a former Canadian Prime Minister who had been jailed for treason for a number of years.
Despite Justin Trudeau having been such a huge asshole, believe it or not his anus was a lot bigger after it had left prison than it was before coming in.
The foul mouthed alleged comic Justin Trudeau made an obscene insulting remark about Renfield’s wife.
Renfield got up on to the stage and approached the foul mouthed comic.
“Oh, oh,” one of the Academy Awards commentators could be heard saying, “I wonder if Renfield is going to punch Justin Trudeau like Will Smith did to Chris Rock a few years back.”
Renfield reached into his pocket, pulled out a gun and blew Justin Trudeau’s head off.
Justin Trudeau lay dead on the stage in a pool of blood- his perfectly coiffured hair now a tangled mess.
“Oh, oh,” one of the other commentators said, “I wonder what can be done about this situation as Renfield was granted a 007 License To Kill by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II a few years back. Maybe if he wins the Best Actor Award for his portrayal of Prince Hal in Henry IV Part 1, they’ll take the Oscar away from him.”
“Not if they want to live until the next morning, they won’t,” his commentating partner suggested.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 28th
2022.
Pan Goatee Beheads Uglo While Mephistopheles Meets Xi
Genetically created satyr Pan Goatee was recently the subject of an oil painting
The world’s most famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee recently had his portrait painted.
Pan Goatee was boarding a bus when he saw this really pathetic looking uglo sitting on one of the seats.
“Well so much for Pope Francis’ consecration of humanity to Pachamama making the world a better place,” Goatee barfed into the fare box after he saw her, “The term ‘Tierra del cielo’ in Spanish which can mean Earth of Heaven or Land In Sky has always been an epithet of Pachamama the Inca earth goddess. And now so called “traditional Catholic” commentators say this title in Francis’ Consecration of Russia and Ukraine Prayer isn’t a reference to Pachamama. It’s like Krampus the Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon goat was telling me the other day when we had a bucket of KFC, today’s so-called “trad Catholics” seem to be even more demonically possessed than your run of the mill typical Novus Ordo Catholics and have been since Francis first became Pope.”
After Pan had finished barfing into the fare box rendering it inoperable, he then went and beheaded the beet turnip hair coloured uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
Krampus arrived still munching on a bucket of KFC and swept up the uglo’s remains into a sack and carried them down to Tartarus.
. . .
The air of Rome was thick with invisible demons after Francis had consecrated the world, the Church, humanity, Russia and Ukraine to Pachamama.
Nimrod the little green frog who was eating an ice cream cone noticed the street was crawling with invisible scorpions.
. . .
Meanwhile the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles (who had been in Moscow the past few months convincing Vladimir Putin to go ahead with his plans to invade Ukraine) was now in Beijing.
He was meeting with Communist China’s despot Xi Jinping to convince him that now was the time to invade Taiwan.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 25th
2022.
Francis: Come On Do The Pachamama With Him
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s vision of the actress who will play Pachamama in the Martin Scorsese made film about the life of the Inca earth mother goddess who is a red dragon that lives in the flames under the Earth but is able to shapeshift into a beautiful woman who walks on the earth or lives in the sky above the earth
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster got a premonition that director Martin Scorsese was going to make a film about Pachamama the Inca earth mother goddess that satanic AntiPope Francis was going to consecrate all of humanity and in particular Russia and Ukraine to (although he was claiming it was to the Virgin Mary).
Then Michelangelo got a vision of the actress who would play Pachamama in the Martin Scorsese film.
Michelangelo’s lobster tank exploded when he saw the vision.
. . .
Jeffrey the otter had somehow managed to stumble into DARPA headquarters after having drunk too many bottles of Elon Musk’s Mars Project Green Minnow Beer.
Jeffrey put on the radio where the DARPA wireless was picking up secret radio transmissions from the Vatican.
The radio transmissions were playing a song that Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) had secretly recorded a couple of years ago.
The song was to the tune of Kylie Minogue’s song The Loco-Motion.
Jeffrey heard Bergoglio sing,
“Everybody’s doin’ a brand new dance now
(Come on baby do the Pachamama)
I know you’ll get to like it if you give it a chance now
(Come on baby do the Pachamama) …
… You gotta swing your hips now…
Come on baby do the Pachamama with me…”
. . .
And tomorrow everybody would be doing the Pachamama with Pope Francis as Francis would be consecrating the world, the church, humanity and Russia and Ukraine to Pachamama (but doing so under the guise that he was doing it to Mary) in union with all the bishops of the world.
Meanwhile as the Set Enterprises’ long suffering janitor was busy mopping up the mess left by yet another of Michelangelo’s exploded lobster tanks, the psychic crustacean had yet another vision.
Actor/director Mel Gibson was reading the story of the statue of Our Lady of Copacabana.
Francisco Tito Yupanqui (1550-1616) an amateur Inca sculptor and a descandant of Huayna Capac (1464-1524) who had been the third Sapa Inca (Emperor) of the Inca Empire (which lasted from 1438 to 1533) desired to carve a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
He carved many wooden statues but was unsatisfied with the result.
On February 2nd 1582 the Virgin Mary appeared to Francisco Tito Yupanqui with a message.
Francisco Tito Yupanqui used the vision to carve his next statue.
Howver this statue somehow wound up in a river.
It was found by the priest of the village of Copacabana a year later on February 2nd 1583 and was dedicated in the church there.
Today that statue of the Virgen de Copacabana is the Patron Saint of Bolivia.
Mel Gibson recalled that prior to 2019, the message Our Lady of Copacabana gave to Francisco Tito Yupanqui was found in many accounts on the Net.
After 2019 the message was scrubbed and erased from the Net.
What was the message of Our Lady of Copacabana to Francisco Tito Yupanqui?
“I know there are some among your people who still worship the old goddess Pachamama. Stop worshipping her. She is a demon.”
Of course in October of 2019, Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) brought a statue of Pachamama into the Vatican Gardens and later into the presence of the High Altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica itself.
Thus the Virgin Mary’s warning about Pachamama being a demon suddenly disappeared.
. . .
Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish in West London was having a discussion with one of his parishioners Amadeus Emanon about the text of Pope Francis’ proposed consecration of humanity, Russia and Ukraine to Mary (?).
Said Father Saint Edmunds, “I noticed MP Renfield’s friend a Calgary based geopolitical analyst says that most of the text is just a rehash of globalist, radical environmentalist and Communist Marxist-Leninist crap and propaganda. In other words just a rehash of everything that Francis has said in every official document and major statement he has released since the start of his so-called pontificate.”
“What about the words of Consecration itself?” Amadeus asked.
“Here’s where it gets interesting,” Father Saint Edmunds answered, “At one point it says in the English text “Queen of Heaven, restore God’s peace to the world”. Now as you know many Protestants object to the Catholic description of Mary as Queen of Heaven because of the passages in Jeremiah condemning worship of the Queen of Heaven that are to be found in Jeremiah 7:18 and Jeremiah 44: 17-25. Interestingly enough though that title Queen of Heaven for Ashtoreth in the ancient Assyrian and Babylonian languages was actually rendered Queen of The Land In The Sky. It was translated Queen of Heaven into Hebrew and then into Greek and then into Latin and then into English as Queen of Heaven but since the time of Christ while Heaven might be regarded metaphorically as the Land In The Sky, Heaven is regarded by the Church as the abode of God and the Saints in a realm beyond time and space. The Land In The Sky is a very spatial/temporal term while Heaven since the time of Christ refers to a realm beyond the spatial/temporal. Thus Mary called Queen of Heaven is actually a very metaphysical term while Queen of the Land In The Sky which is what Ashtoreth was actually called in the Assyrian and Babylonian languages is very much a term associated with this universe i.e. this creation. And worship of the creation is idolatry or paganism.”
“Interesting,” Amadeus acknowledged.
“Here’s where it gets even more interesting, the English text says (Queen of) Heaven but the Spanish, Portuguese and Italian texts are rendered differently. What’s called Heaven in English is rendered “tierra del Cielo” in Spanish, “terra do Ceu” in Portuguese and “terra del Cielo” in Italian. All of those terms roughly translate to Earth In The Sky or Land In The Sky. And who goes by that title Queen of The Land In The Sky? Other than Ashtoreth in the ancient Assyrian and Babylonian religions? The Pachamama demon. The land in the sky is one of the Pachamama’s domains. “Tierra del Cielo” is an official Pachamama title. It is “wenu mapu” in the Mapuche language and religion.”
“So Francis is effectively consecrating the world, the church, humanity and specifically Russia and Ukraine to the demon Pachamama?” Amadeus was horrified.
“That’s right,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds nodded.
“What do you think this will cause?” Amadeus wiped his brow with his handkerchief.
“Most likely either a nuclear World War III or the appearance of the Antichrist on the global stage or both,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds answered.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 24th
2022
Renfield’s Regency Croquet Match: All Is Fair In Love and War
After watching an episode of a television series that was set in Regency England, British MP Renfield R. Renfield fell asleep and dreamed that he was a young nobleman in Regency England.
After escorting the Prince Regent through local ale houses and giving advice to Arthur Wellesley the Duke of Wellington on how to defeat Napoleon, Renfield set out for high tea at Lady Vandeermeer’s Estate.
There he met two beautiful charming young ladies with whom he discussed the novels of Jane Austen.
In the middle of his watercress sandwich the valet to Lady Vandermeer delivered Renfield a note from his sometimes rival the Russian Vladimir Painintheassovich.
Vladimir Painintheassovich told Renfield that he was out on the Estate’s grounds with two gentlemen and that they would like to challenge Renfield to a game of croquet that is if Renfield could find two other partners to form a team.
Renfield immediately invited his two charming young Jane Austen Literary Society companions to form a team with him.
Renfield, his two lovely young literary society companions and a corgi who will serve as ball retriever
Renfield and his lovely young companions approached their rivals.
The Russian Vladimir Painintheassovich stood directly across from Renfield.
On Vladimir’s right was the Emperor Napoleon and on his left Ares the Greek god of war.
Lady Vandermeer’s valet brought some Ukrainian perogies with sour cream for Renfield and his companions to munch on before the match began.
Vladimir, Napoleon and Ares ate blood sausages and salt water tears wept by a young widow and her children.
When the match started, Renfield hit a ball that went flying into the right temple of the Emperor Napoleon and sent the Little Corporal unconscious alongside the Estate pond.
“Napoleon appears to have met his Waterloo,” Renfield remarked.
Ares sent his ball flying at the little corgi knocking him out cold.
“Thou black hearted snerd,” said Renfield’s lovely teammate who was wearing the green velvet dress with hints of gold decorating.
Ares’ nose was broken by the ball fired by the beauty in the green dress.
The god of war was carried off the croquet field.
Vladimir Painintheassovich called out to the beauty wearing the peach pink dress with hints of gold decorating.
“Hey babe, how would you like to see me ride a horse shirtless?” He said.
“I think all horses are shirtless aren’t they?” Answered the beauty in the peach pink dress, “I’ve never seen a horse wear a shirt.”
She fired a croquet ball at the Russian’s balls knocking him off his high horse which he had just crawled up on.
Renfield then finished the Russian off with a croquet ball fired to the forehead.
The MP then woke up.
“Ah, if only life were like a Regency England croquet match,” he ordered himself a cup of tea.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 23rd
2022.
Dracul and Voluptas Hedone: An Afternoon Near Byzantium
Voluptas Hedone: The daughter of Cupid and Psyche from Greek mythology
There was a lot of Byzantine intrigue going on in the city of Constantinople (today called Istanbul).
The city was not far from the conflict known as the Russia-Ukraine War (called a “special military operation” by Russian President Vladimir Putin and called “an attack on that place that gave my no-good bum son Hunter a job for doing nothing” by Joe Biden).
Joe Biden had started the day in Washington DC in front of a Business Roundtable of U.S. Corporate CEOs.
He was totally undressed except for wearing a fig leaf that covered his long dead sword and with his behind he painted the floor a very dark brown colour that Pablo Picasso would have never considered painting during his “Blue period”.
While looking like this, Biden informed the CEOs present that from now on he was to be regarded as “the leader of the New World Order”.
Such a proclamation had not been delivered since the days of the most insane ancient Roman Emperors.
Even though Biden had proclaimed himself the “leader of the New World Order” the Biden Administration told the Israeli government in Jerusalem that it should be the one “mediating the war between Russia and Ukraine and bringing it to a peaceful conclusion”.
While Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett sat contemplating whether the bagel and coffee in front of him was totally kosher, he pondered Biden’s idiotic pronouncement and his idiotic passing of the buck (or was it a shekel?) to the Israeli government to peacefully end the Russia-Ukraine War.
Meanwhile in the City of Istanbul (that city of Byzantine intrigue originally founded by the Roman Emperor Constantine) the Israeli Mossad agent codenamed the Star of Azazel was passing out blueprints of the proposed Third Temple of Jerusalem to Turkish Freemasons.
The former Israeli Mossad agent codenamed the Controller of the Golem (who resigned his commission because he couldn’t stand the Star of Azazel’s growing influence within Mossad) managed to get ahold of one of these blueprints in an Istanbul fish market.
He got the shock of his life.
The proposed Third Temple was built in the shape of a giant pyramid with a giant eyeball serving as the capstone.
Nathan (the real first name of the Controller of The Golem) sent a copy of the blue print to his friend the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit sent out Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles (who were currently staying in a chalet in Switzerland) to Istanbul to investigate.
In a forest not far from Istanbul, Dracul and Welles’ ghost waited to rendezvous with the Controller of the Golem.
Nathan was held up by police in Istanbul because he had accidentally spilled his hot chocolate over a photo of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (the would-be Sultan of a Revived Ottoman Empire) in a Turkish coffee bazaar (which was considered a capital offense in President Erdogan’s eyes).
As Nathan used his best Kievan Jewish grandfather’s skills in trying to BS his way out of a difficult situation, Dracul and Welles’ ghost waited for him to arrive.
Dracul decided to go sightseeing while Welles’ ghost sat on the grass sampling a spectral glass of ghostly red wine from a ghostly picnic basket as he also ate a ghostly leg of fried chicken.
It was at the edge of the forest that Dracul Van Helsing spotted Voluptas Hedone the daughter of the Greco-Roman deities Cupid and Psyche.
Naturally Dracul Van Helsing being Dracul Van Helsing decided to make out with her.
Voluptas Hedone was only happy to oblige.
As the breeze of the forest seemed to sing that old song Roll Me Over In The Clover, Welles’ ghost and the Controller of The Golem approached the scene.
“Wow, Dracul, you should see what the Holy of Holies in the Third Temple of Jerusalem is going to look like,” Welles’ ghost stated.
Then he saw what Van Helsing and Voluptas Hedone were doing.
“Holy of Holies!” Welles’ ghost exclaimed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 22nd
2022.
Sophia Catches Her Son At Perverted Party In Kiev
Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic Goddess of Wisdom catches her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun at a perverted party in Kiev rather than fighting in the Greek centaur Chiron’s army of leprechauns and gnomes
Sophia had heard the rumours.
Rather than fighting against invading Russian troops her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was supposedly attending a coming out party of the LGBTQ2s+ community in the City of Kiev hosted by Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelenskiy in celebration of the New World Order that an airheaded Ukrainian woman MP Kira Rudyk said that Ukraine was fighting for.
The demons Baal and Baphomet were present at the LGBTQ2s+ coming out party as freaks, fruits and nuts whose hair was all the colours of the rainbow (plus colours not in the rainbow) gave the appearance of a Liberace and Elton John directed version of the 1968 zombie film Night of The Living Dead.
Ukrainan President Volodymyr Zelenskiy, who had just got into some trouble for releasing a fake news video of the Eiffel Tower in Paris France being attacked by Russian missiles, addressed the crowd, “I understand we’ve got some foreign guests who are here with us virtually on Zoom.”
The crowd cheered.
“How many women from America are here with us today?” Zelenskiy asked.
2/3 of Joe Biden’s deputy cabinet appointees put up their hands as well as some muscle bound ogre who just won the first place gold medal in an NCAA Women’s Swimming Competition in the U.S.
Yaldabaoth, who was busy drinking green beer while Zelenskiy grandstanded in black leather pants and spiked high heeled shoes as holographic images of George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab applauded in the background, was immediately spotted by Sophia.
“I thought you were supposed to be fighting invaders,” Sophia approached him.
“Well…” Yaldabaoth was at a loss for words.
Sophia took Yaldabaoth over her knee and spanked him.
. . .
Meanwhile diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Russia were on the verge of collapse after senile old fool Joe Biden called Russian President Vladimir Putin “a war criminal”.
The ghostly voice of Mortimer Snerd (who was the secondary ventriloquist dummy- after Charlie McCarthy- of American ventriloquist Edgar Bergen) called Biden from Hell (where he was doing a stand-up comedy routine with Cerberus) and told him that it wasn’t smart to call the leader of a nuclear power “a war criminal”.
Russia’s Foreign Ministry had summoned U.S. Ambassador to Moscow John Sullivan to give him a dressing down.
Actor John Cleese (who played Basil Fawlty on the 1970s British sitcom Fawlty Towers) told a member of the British press, “I called Vladimir Putin a war criminal once but I think I got away with it…”
. . .
Meanwhile the demons Baal and Baphomet had left Kiev and had gone to French President Emmanuel Macron’s bedroom to enjoy some champagne cocktails with the Klaus Schwab approved former Global Youth leader.
“We’re looking forward to this Friday,” the half-male, half-female half-human half-goat demon Baphomet told Macron.
“What happens Friday?” Macron asked as he chased an elderly cougar around the bedroom.
“Haven’t you heard?” Baal said as he sampled a Planned Parenthood appetizer from a Paris clinic, “That’s when the demon Pachamama worshipping AntiPope Francis supposedly consecrates Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.”
Baal and Baphomet both roared with laughter as Macron adjusted his toupee.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 21st
2022.
Orson Welles’ Ghost Arranges For Russian Billionaire Oligarch To Be Bumped Off In Switzerland
The Russian oligarch billionaire felt like he was entering a scene in a late 1940s Film Noir movie.
Which in a sense he was.
Billionaire oligarch Hunterovich Pervertovsky (the son of the senile old fool Russian billionaire oligarch Josef Pervertovsky famous for going around sniffing the hair of beautiful women and for always wanting to dangle young girls on his lopsided knees as his pair of Russian made Depends dangled around his brown coloured ankles) was standing face to face with a woman who was the spitting image of actress Laurette Luez in the 1949 Film Noir movie D.O.A.
The entire scene had a black and white feel to it.
That’s because it was being directed by the ghost of the great film director Orson Welles.
His friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had arranged for the pro-Taiwan Vietnamese secret agent Ho Babylon Minh to drop a Mickey into Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s hot toddy as he ate his rotisserie chicken accompanied by Black Sea caviar in the Swiss chalet restaurant.
Unbeknownst to him a Ukrainian band with a Ukrainian ukulele player played that old Canadian restaurant TV commercial song “Life should taste as good as Swiss Chalet” from the top floor of the chalet as Ho slipped the mickey into his drink.
Hunterovich hit the floor faster than one of his many dropped laptops.
He soon found himself in this room, his head was spinning in a haze and everything looked black and white to him.
And he saw this vision:
Actress Laurette Luez smoking a cigarette
“There’s a glass of vodka in front of you, Comrade Uber-capitalist Hunterovich Pervertovsky,” Miss Luez pointed with her shapely leg.
Pervertovsky picked up the glass and drank.
His face suddenly turned very red like the flags rising above the Saint Petersburg Winter Palace on a Julian calendar October day in 1917.
“I believe it’s Polonium-210 that you use to get rid of the opponents of your friend Vlad the Exhaler’s regime isn’t it?” Miss Luez smiled, “Well there was enough Polonium-210 in that glass of vodka to kill a race horse. And personally I along with Mr. Welles, Mr. Van Helsing and Miss Ho have nothing against race horses.”
Hunterovich Pervertovsky the son of Josef Pervertovsky was D.O.A.
Meanwhile on Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s laptop (which had just landed at his feet) were the plans for Russia’s newest Kinzhal (Dagger) hypersonic missiles just used in Ukraine.
The plans were delivered to Set Enterprises in London.
And not the British government.
As the Bitish government was under the control of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum and the Great Reset New World Order.
Set Enterprises was not.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 20th
2022.
Pan Beheads Uglos, Bono’s A Bonehead, Arnie’s Brain Has Been Terminated and Justin and Witch Chrystia Are Fascists
Pan Goatee is canonized a living Saint by the Archbishop of Spitsbergen
“Do you know why Scandinavian women are so beautiful?” The Archbishop of Spitsbergen asked before canonizing Pan Goatee a living Saint, “Because the Vikings never brought back any ugly women home from their raids.”
“Well, we mustn’t expect any Viking raids in Calgary in the near, mediate or distant future,” Pan Goatee commented as he beheaded a fat ugly blimp as she boarded the bus and tried to walk down the aisle.
A whole bunch of uglos decided to board the bus at that point.
“This is obviously Uglo Central,” Goatee noted as he beheaded stoats, gargoyles and blimps and started cutting them up into 999 trillion pieces each.
Krampus arrived on scene to take the uglos’ remains down to Hell.
Meanwhile Dr. Anthony Fauci announced he might step down as the Director of the Institute of Allergies and Infectious Diseases after he had a dream where by he was beheaded by Pan Goatee.
The entire Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit meanwhile was made aware of the fact that the World Economic Forum and their allies in the mainstream media, Big Business and western governments were pushing for nuclear war against Russia.
George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab had determined that it may take a Hell of a lot of Covid “vaccine” booster shots to bump off most of the world’s population and get it below the 500 million people level as recommended by the Georgia Guidestones.
A nuclear war would do the job a lot faster and then they could start “building back better” a lot more quickly.
Already the Vicar of Antichrist (aka Jorge Mario Bergoglio) was starting to shoot his mouth off about the necessity for rebuilding the world.
“Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Justin Trudeau, Emmanuel Macron, Klaus Scwab, George Soros, Ursula von der Leyen and their boy in Ukraine Volodymyr Zelenskiy are the warmongers who are screeching for World War III,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield noted in his Friday night podcast, “All these liberal hippy assholes of the past pretended to be peaceful. They’re now the same liberals planning WWIII where millions of people will be slaughtered. Scratch a hippy hard enough and deep enough and you’ll uncover a Charles Manson. Just ask Sharon Tate and her friends.”
“Meanwhile,” Renfield noted, “Keep in mind that it’s against Ukraine’s law for Russian citizens in the Russian half of Ukraine (territories east of the Dnieper River) to speak their native language. Also know that 8 years ago the Ukrainian government deliberately cemented up the freshwater canal leading to the Crimea so that the Russian people there had to ration their water, watch their crops die and watch the grass dry up. In addition for years, Azov regiments- Ukraine’s far right Neo-Nazi troops have been waging war in eastern Ukraine killing as many as 14,000 Russian civilians.
Had Poland and Czechoslovakia done similar things to Germans in the years leading up to World War II, Hitler might have had some justification for starting the war.
He didn’t. But Ukraine, NATO and the EU have been poking the wolf-bear Putin for years and then start acting surprised when the wolf-bear comes at you and attacks.”
Meanwhile U-2’s “woke” bonehead lead singer Bono decided to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day by tweeting a ridiculous poem he wrote comparing Saint Patrick to Volodymyr Zelenskiy.
As senile old fool Joe Biden tweeted for Saint Patrick’s Day “Just because I’m Irish doesn’t mean I’m stupid” (whatever Joe, go back to sleep), Bono tweeted,
“Ireland’s sorrow and pain
Is now the Ukraine
And Saint Patrick’s name
Is now Zelenskiy.”
To add insult to injury, Congress’ aging facially aesthetically challenged hippy flower child Nancy Pelosi decided to read aloud Bono’s entire poem on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives.
As Congresswoman AOC fell alseep on her vibrator while it was in full motion, Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun barfed all over the place on the Ukraine-Polish border as he watched the sickening display on C-SPAN on his Twitter feed.
Meanwhile the ex-Terminator aging girly-man Arnold Schwarzenegger (son of an Austrian SS officer) who told Americans to go “Screw your freedom” at the height of the plandemic has now told Russia’s President Vladimir Putin to back off and end his war in Ukraine.
If Putin watched the display, he did not quake in his boots.
Although Joe Biden did.
He also dropped an extra bonus in his pair of Depends as well.
Meanwhile it’s now been reported that Canada’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau and his Ukrainian Nazi/Communist hybrid hag henchwoman Chrystia Freeland have been holding meetings from 2016 to 2019 with Andriy Parubiy the co-founder of a Neo-Nazi Fascist party in Ukraine.
Andriy Parubiy was the Speaker of the Ukrainian Parliament from 2016 to 2019.
Parubiy was one of the founders of Ukraine’s far-right Neo-Nazi movement and in 1991 co-founded the Social-National Party of Ukraine (SNPU) which was a Nazi-style party focused on “racial nationalism”.
The SNPU was re-named the Svoboda Party in 2004.
Trudeau first met with Parubiy in Ottawa at the Ukrainian Embassy in 2016. Canada’s then Defence Minister Harjit Sajjan was also present at the meeting.
Trudeau later met with Parubiy in July 2016 on a visit to Kiev, Ukraine with Chrystia Freeland backing up his behind.
In May 2019 as Minister of Foreign Affairs, Freeland met with Parubiy again boasting about it on her Facebook page.
In February of this year, the Nazi/Communist hybrid hag Freeland was photographed holding a banner of a Ukrainian nationalist army with links to the Nazis who massacred tens of thousands of Poles as part of an ethnic cleansing program.
Such are the Canadian scumbags in the West who claim to be fighting for freedom and democracy.
Meanwhile Apophis the Egyptian god of chaos, evil, darkness and destruction whose powers were dissolution, darkness and non-being was approaching Earth on a collision course.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 18th
2022
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day From A Green Dress Marilyn
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day from a green dress wearing Marilyn Monroe
A holographic image of a green dress wearing Marilyn Monroe appeared to British Prime Minister Boris Johnson wishing him a “Happy Saint Patrick’s Day”.
“Why, thank you very much,” Johnson smiled.
“I understand the President of France, the Chancellor of Germany and the Prime Minister of Italy got green sprayed Irish stink bombs this Saint Patrick’s Day,” Mrs. Johnson noted.
“I wonder why they got that while I got a holographic image of Marilyn Monroe wearing a sexy green dress,” Johnson scratched the uncombed and unkempt top of his head.
“I think it was because France’s Emmanuel Macron, Germany’s Olaf Scholz and Italy’s Mario Draghi didn’t remove vaccine passports while you did,” Mrs. Johnson answered.
“Are you suggesting British MP Renfield R. Renfield was behind those stink bomb attacks?” Johnson drank a pint of Guinness.
“I am,” Mrs. Johnson had a shot of Jameson.
Meanwhile in Ottawa, Canada’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau had 666 tons of smelly green fertilizer (produced by patriotic Irish cows who only shit green) dumped on the front lawn of his house.
In Washington D.C., a package of green dye exploded inside of Joe Biden’s pair of Depends when Biden’s bowels exploded again.
In Dublin, Ireland, a group of serpents hiding behind a rainbow coloured flag had taken over the Irish government.
And hissed, “Good-bye land of Saint Patrick.”
Meanwhile British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Thursday night podcast.
Renfield began his podcast with a question, “What kind of Communist is Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Oleksandrovich Zelenskiy?”.
The MP, in answer to his own question, replied, “Obviously a fruity one. Since he once did a music video showing him wearing high-heeled shoes and tight clinging black leather pants engaging in homo-erotic activities with other men that would make even Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie wince.”
Renfield went on, “The fruity Communist Zelenskiy (puppet of Trotskyite billionaire George Soros) in a virtual TV address to the current gang of idiots who make up the U.S. Congress described Joe Biden as “the leader of the free world”. Now, what sort of leader in their right mind would describe the Depends wearing senile old fool Joe Biden as the “leader of the free world”? The answer is no leader in their right mind would.”
Renfield continued, “This is the same Volodymyr Zelenskiy who said he was inspired to enter politics by Canada’s asinine Neo-Bolshevik Communist leader the wimpy soy-boy looking pansy Justin Trudeau (who must have come as the most ironic example of karmic justice for an extremely macho Caribbean tinpot dictator to have sired). That’s all that needs to be said for Zelenskiy. This New World Order trained seal in flippers with tight zippers obviously doesn’t quite cut the mustard or anything else for that matter.”
The ghost of Rod Serling then asked the question, “What type of Communist is Volodymyr Oleksandrovich Zelenskiy? A hidden one masquerading as a celebrity comedian. In other words, a cunning and even more dangerous Communist.”
The host of the TV shows Night Gallery and The Twilight Zone went on, “The good people of Ukraine have been had by a 10c a dance comedian who should have been booed off the stage the first time he appeared as President. Sadly this is not the first time that brutal Communism has hid its hammer from an unsuspecting public.”
Concluded Serling, “Now we’ve got a 21st Century Trotsky in Ukraine fighting a 21st Century Czar from Russia. And a Vicar of Pachamama now wants to consecrate both Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. At one time back in the late 1950s and early 1960s, such things would have been considered part of the Twilight Zone. Today they’re the world of CNN News.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 17th
2022.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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