Pan Goatee and The Tragedy of A City Engulfed In Uglos
Pan Goatee gives advice to a Malaysian youth on what pastel colours to wear to a Michael Voris retreat
There was no doubt about it.
The City of Calgary was engulfed by uglos.
They were everywhere.
Ruining people’s days.
Sneaking up on people out of the blue.
And a blue colour that might be worn like the likes of the wig wearing self-proclaimed chaste sodomite Opus Dei apologist for Pope Francis- Michael Voris.
Leading people to Hell by saying that the last vomit of Satan (aka Jorge Mario Bergoglio) was the true Pope.
And Calgary was not only leading people to Hell.
It was Hell.
With the vast number of repulsive uglo females walking its streets.
Pan Goatee was walking up a street when a repulsively ugly medium sized ugly gargoyle tried to walk past him.
“What is it with you uglos being total morons?” Pan Goatee raised his astral laser machete and beheaded the ugly looking thing, “Don’t you know who I am?.”
He then cut the ugly looking thing up into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion etc. etc. pieces.
There wasn’t much left of the repulsive uglo to carry down to Tartarus by the time Krampus arrived.
Pan Goatee then went to a McDonald’s where he bought a diet Coke and then read the local newspaper which he didn’t read back in the days when it was full of Covid propaganda and BS.
What was true in the War in Ukraine he wondered?
Just that a visible demon Vladimir Putin was battling the in the closet demons of George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab.
He wondered if the genetically created ugly women of Calgary was a Putin plot to demoralize the West?
It was certainly demoralizing the City of Calgary.
What a place for a Brian Bulroney (Brian Bulroney a Progressive Conservative asshole from Quebec had been the worst Prime Minister Canada had ever had prior to the advent of Justin Castro Trudeau) Conservative loser like Jean Charest to announce that he was running for the leadership of the Canadian Federal Conservative Party?
Making the announcement in a city of uglo women.
No wonder Charest was the Canadian brainless mainstream media’s darling and favoured choice to be the next Canadian Federal Tory leader.
Pan Goatee personally favoured Dr. Leslyn Lewis for the leadership of the Canadian Federal Conservative Party.
Goatee suddenly noticed a medium sized ugly gargoyle and her more attractive friend enter the McDonald’s but then they went and sat at the back of the restaurant where such uglos and their friends belong.
Later when Goatee left the restaurant, he noticed the ugly gargoyle and her friend walking down the sidewalk.
They then walked in front of him.
Goatee beheaded the gargoyle and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
He then did the same to her more attractive friend just on the off chance that such ugliness was contagious.
Goatee then walked to the Dollarama store.
The same one where he had beheaded the big heap ugly squaw and her moronic non-brave boyfriend yesterday.
Today when he entered he was shocked to see that a fat ugly blimp was working as the cashier.
He then beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
Goatee headed across the street to the grocery store.
There he passed a police cruiser where the testosterone filled jackass had parked the police vehicle on most of the sidewalk blocking access to pedestrians.
The Fascist pig cop was giving a hard time to a homeless person who had dared to sit and rest on a bench.
“Come on!” The pig oinked like Klaus Barbie on steroids, “Go to a homeless shelter or something. These benches are meant for respectable folk to sit on and not the likes of you.”
Goatee removed his astral laser machete from his sheath and beheaded the New World Order porker.
He then cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.
Krampus arrived on scene to carry the porker to the deepest level of Tartarus.
Goatee went into the grocery store.
He was pleased to see that his Friday afternoon massacre of uglos yesterday had done its job and there were no uglos to be seen.
Goatee purchased a package of genuine Alberta cheddar cheese- his favourite- and headed home.
As he walked along the sidewalk heading towards his neighbourhood a repulsive fat ugly blimp who could have entered her car from her house before Goatee’s arrival or after Goatee’s arrival chose the moment that Goatee was walking down the sidewalk to ungrace the world with her obnoxious presence.
Goatee immediately beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion pieces x 999 trillion pieces ad infinitum.
There wasn’t much left of the repulsively ugly fat ugly blimp by the time Krampus arrived on the scene to carry the remains down to Tartarus.
Goatee also beheaded the fat ugly blimp’s more attractive friend and dismembered her on the off chance that such ugliness was contagious.
. . .
At the Vatican in Rome, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was concerned with Pope Francis’ covert plans for an Unholy Holy Crusade against the Russian people because of Vladimir Putin’s invasion of Ukraine.
Canada’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau had expressed his support for the idea while in Poland and Latvia.
Senile old fool Joe Biden was thinking of flying the Pope to a nuclear missile silo where the pontiff would sprinkle some Unholy Holy Water on the nuclear missile that would be used in a “limited” nuclear war strike on Moscow.
Cardinal Salaman decided that the only solution would be to bump Bergoglio off.
After all good Popes had been bumped off in the past (the most recent having been Albino Cardinal Luciani Pope John Paul I back in the early autumn of 1978 who wished to throw the Mafia money launderers out of the Vatican Bank).
Why not bump off a bad Pope?
With his gloved hands, Samhain Cardinal Salaman put the slice of wolfsbane into Bergoglio’s cup of Tibetan Buddhist tea.
And then dropped the key to Beijing’s forbidden city into it.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 12th
2022.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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