Slek The Demon
Slek the demon: Seen in the middle of war-torn Ukraine
Slek was a particularly insidious and ferocious demon.
He was the go-to for Phoenix Diabolicus who was Lucifer the Devil’s 2nd in Command.
Some years ago Slek the demon had aided America’s most pre-eminently evil mad scientists Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Francis Collins in developing genetically created repulsively ugly women and then unleashing them on the City of Calgary.
Today the results of that horrible experiment could be seen as Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was going throughout the streets and public transit systems of downtown Calgary beheading and dismembering loads of repulsive uglos (thin ugly stoats, medium sized ugly gargoyles and fat ugly blimps) in an effort to rid the poor city of this hideously uglo abomination of desolation.
The ghosts of 19th Century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche and 19th Century Anglo-Irish writer Oscar Wilde were sitting atop the needle of the Calgary Tower (whose original name was the Husky Tower) playing a ghostly game of Scrabble (using English, German and Latin words) and watching the proceedings below.
“Goodness gracious,” Wilde wiped his ghostly brow with his spectral handkerchief, “I think I once had a dream about encountering an uglo Calgarian woman when I was a young mortal. I think it was that dream that led me to have an affair with Lord Alfred Douglas the son of John Douglas the 9th Marquess of Queensbury who established the Queensbury Rules of Boxing that form the basis of modern boxing.”
“You know,” Nietzsche threw a chicken wish bone for the Greek gods Apollo and Dionysus to wrestle over, “It looks like this might take a herculean effort to rid this city of all the vast amounts of uglo women in it. I’m gping to put in a request to Hades the god of the Underworld that he release Hercules from the realm of the Underworld and send him up here to start bumping off all these uglo women with his mighty club.”
The philosopher got on his Samsung Galaxy phone and called Hades’ number.
Within minutes, the divine hero Hercules found himself standing on the sidewalks of downtown Calgary.
The mighty giant was so shocked by the grotesqueness of the uglo women that he saw that he began barfing all over the place.
Zeus had Hercules sent back to the Underworld where the divine hero continued to barf all over the place.
Hercules’ vomit caused two of the rivers of the Underworld- the river Styx and the river Acheron to rise and rise until they rose from the Underworld and began reaching the surface of the Earth itself.
There they formed a confluence of blood in Ukraine.
And from the midst of that confluence of blood rose Slek the demon.
-A vampire novel chapter
written Monday March 14th
2022
Dracul Van Helsing 
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