Dracul and Voluptas Hedone: An Afternoon Near Byzantium

March 22, 2022 at 10:30 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Voluptas Hedone: The daughter of Cupid and Psyche from Greek mythology

There was a lot of Byzantine intrigue going on in the city of Constantinople (today called Istanbul).

The city was not far from the conflict known as the Russia-Ukraine War (called a “special military operation” by Russian President Vladimir Putin and called “an attack on that place that gave my no-good bum son Hunter a job for doing nothing” by Joe Biden).

Joe Biden had started the day in Washington DC in front of a Business Roundtable of U.S. Corporate CEOs.

He was totally undressed except for wearing a fig leaf that covered his long dead sword and with his behind he painted the floor a very dark brown colour that Pablo Picasso would have never considered painting during his “Blue period”.

While looking like this, Biden informed the CEOs present that from now on he was to be regarded as “the leader of the New World Order”.

Such a proclamation had not been delivered since the days of the most insane ancient Roman Emperors.

Even though Biden had proclaimed himself the “leader of the New World Order” the Biden Administration told the Israeli government in Jerusalem that it should be the one “mediating the war between Russia and Ukraine and bringing it to a peaceful conclusion”.

While Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett sat contemplating whether the bagel and coffee in front of him was totally kosher, he pondered Biden’s idiotic pronouncement and his idiotic passing of the buck (or was it a shekel?) to the Israeli government to peacefully end the Russia-Ukraine War.

Meanwhile in the City of Istanbul (that city of Byzantine intrigue originally founded by the Roman Emperor Constantine) the Israeli Mossad agent codenamed the Star of Azazel was passing out blueprints of the proposed Third Temple of Jerusalem to Turkish Freemasons.

The former Israeli Mossad agent codenamed the Controller of the Golem (who resigned his commission because he couldn’t stand the Star of Azazel’s growing influence within Mossad) managed to get ahold of one of these blueprints in an Istanbul fish market.

He got the shock of his life.

The proposed Third Temple was built in the shape of a giant pyramid with a giant eyeball serving as the capstone.

Nathan (the real first name of the Controller of The Golem) sent a copy of the blue print to his friend the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit sent out Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles (who were currently staying in a chalet in Switzerland) to Istanbul to investigate.

In a forest not far from Istanbul, Dracul and Welles’ ghost waited to rendezvous with the Controller of the Golem.

Nathan was held up by police in Istanbul because he had accidentally spilled his hot chocolate over a photo of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (the would-be Sultan of a Revived Ottoman Empire) in a Turkish coffee bazaar (which was considered a capital offense in President Erdogan’s eyes).

As Nathan used his best Kievan Jewish grandfather’s skills in trying to BS his way out of a difficult situation, Dracul and Welles’ ghost waited for him to arrive.

Dracul decided to go sightseeing while Welles’ ghost sat on the grass sampling a spectral glass of ghostly red wine from a ghostly picnic basket as he also ate a ghostly leg of fried chicken.

It was at the edge of the forest that Dracul Van Helsing spotted Voluptas Hedone the daughter of the Greco-Roman deities Cupid and Psyche.

Naturally Dracul Van Helsing being Dracul Van Helsing decided to make out with her.

Voluptas Hedone was only happy to oblige.

As the breeze of the forest seemed to sing that old song Roll Me Over In The Clover, Welles’ ghost and the Controller of The Golem approached the scene.

“Wow, Dracul, you should see what the Holy of Holies in the Third Temple of Jerusalem is going to look like,” Welles’ ghost stated.

Then he saw what Van Helsing and Voluptas Hedone were doing.

“Holy of Holies!” Welles’ ghost exclaimed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 22nd
2022.

2 Comments

  1. Hyperion said,

    This one was rich with metaphor and the secrets of the 35th level of the Masonic cult. I especially like that Dracul can see the imminent benefit in spawning with Greco-Roman deities. This is how the world is really saved.

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