Joe Biden Sniffs Jacinda Ardern’s Hair
The Samaritan woman at the well heard the call of Jesus.
Joe Biden and Jacinda Ardern, who were busy making out in the Oval Office, did not.
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his lobster tank at London’s Set Enterprises when he had a vision.
The vision was this:
Joe Biden and New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern were making out in the privacy of the Oval Office after their public press conference.
Joe Biden was busy sniffing Jacinda Ardern’s hair, “Is that Herbal Essences or VO5 that I smell?”.
“Oh, kiss me, Joe, kiss me,” Ardern moaned in ecstasy.
“I’m afraid I don’t know the members of KISS,” Biden picked a fly off the wall and ate it, “But I might be able to get ahold of Marilyn Manson or Alice Cooper for you.”
“Oh, Joe, Joe,” Ardern continued to moan.
“Oh, the smell, the smell,” Biden got a lock of the New Zealand Prime Minister’s hair caught in his nostrils.
He dropped a load in his Depends diapers.
“Oh, the smell, the smell,” Ardern shrieked before passing out.
. . .
The commander of the Swiss Guards came running into the study of Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis.
“Your Holiness,” the Swiss Guard commander said, “There’s a monkey loose in the Vatican.”
“What’s a monkey doing loose in the Vatican?” Bergoglio asked as he ate a banana.
“He escaped from one of Bill Gates’ experimental labs in Rome,” the Swiss Guard commander explained, “He jumped over the Vatican wall, claimed refugee status and is now wanting free range in the Vatican kitchens.”
“Does he have the pox?” Bergoglio was very concerned and he wiped sweat off his brow.
“We don’t know whether he has the pox or not,” the Swiss Guard commander shrugged, “we know he doesn’t have the vax.”
“Then he shouldn’t be in the Vatican,” Bergoglio wagged his finger in a very angry fashion, “There are two things we can’t have in the Vatican. One is the Latin Tridentine Mass. And the other is the unvaccinated.”
. . .
Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov was meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin.
The Russian leader looked well despite rumours that he was ill.
The same could not be said for New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern who was currently barfing in the White House toilet at that moment.
Putin had just approved a Russian military intelligence plan to have an unvaccinated priest say a Latin Tridentine Mass in the Vatican this coming weekend.
“We’ve got another request from Pope Francis that he be invited to Moscow so that he can negotiate peace between Russia and Ukraine,” Lavrov noted.
“Put the request in the Kremlin trash can along with the others,” Putin directed.
“We also got a request from North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un that he be invited to Moscow to negotiate a peace between Russia and Ukraine,” Lavrov pointed out.
“Really?” Putin put down his bowl of borscht and smiled.
“Yes,” Lavrov nodded.
“Invite the two of them to Moscow together,” Putin had a glint in his eye, “let them hammer out a peace between Russia and Ukraine together.”
“All right,” Lavrov went to send off the invitations.
“At least the Western news media can’t accuse me of not having a sense of humour,” Putin drummed his fingers on his office desk top.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 31st 2022.
Renfield Calls Vladimir Putin A Wimp
The old days when the villains were Gen. George Armstrong Custer and not Klaus Schwab
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Monday night podcast for tonight Monday May 30th 2022.
Began Renfield, “Last week global dictator wannabe Klaus Schwab held his World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland from Sunday May 22nd to Thursday May 26th.”
A video clip is then shown of Schwab speaking in his usual heavy World War II movie German villain character accent and slowly raising his arm up and then down and slowly pounding the podium, “The future belongs to us.”
“Definitely a less poetic and less musically inclined way of saying Tomorrow Belongs To Me which was the title of the Hitler Youth song made popular by the 1972 film Cabaret,” Renfield went on, “And Schwab doesn’t exactly pack a punch when it comes to his rather erratic attempt at Hitler like arm movements. But perhaps this is a case of not Mein Kampf but mein kramp.”
The next video clip shown is of Canada’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announcing further restrictive measures of gun control (even though Canada is already one of the most restrictive gun control regimes in the world).
Trudeau made the announcement using Hitler like inflections in his voice while members of his cabinet stood behind him looking ridiculously stupid all wearing diapers over their faces (as signs of their loyalty and fealty to the New World Order One World Totalitarian Government of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum and the Great Reset) .
“Trudeau is making restrictive gun control measures for one reason and one reason only,” Renfield explained, “To take away arms from Canadians so they won’t be able to resist the totalitarian One World Government that he Trudeau and his Nazi/Communist hybrid hag henchwoman Chrystia Freeland and his personal lapdog Federal NDP leader Jagmeet Singh want to impose on all Canadians. But what else can you expect from a man whose mother was a whore and whose father was a tinpot Caribbean dictator?”.
Renfield then went on to pose the question, “Can dementia be contagious like a virus?”.
He showed former U.S. President George W. Bush meeting senile old fool Joe Biden.
He then showed a clip of Bush making a speech a few weeks later, “Vladimir Putin launched a wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq. I mean of Ukraine.”
Renfield then showed a drawing of Bush wearing a ladies’ undergarment dress slip that bore the label FREUDIAN.
“And lastly,” Renfield concluded, “I never thought one could use this word to describe Vladimir Putin but here it is- wimp.
Putin claims he’s opposed to Nazis and Nazism. That’s one of the reasons he gave for invading Ukraine. He claimed the Ukrainian government and army was full of Nazis and Neo-Nazis.
But last week the world’s Nazis, Fascists, last surviving Bolsheviks and Transhumanist eugenicists met in Davos Switzwrland.
He could have eliminated them all with one push of a button on a hypersonic missile.
But he didn’t.
Ladies and gentlemen, Vladimir Putin is a wimp.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 30th
2022.
An Airhead, A Vibrator and A Harvard Commencement Address
On the BBC Evening News tonight, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was busy filling in for a 5 times boostered BBC News Announcer who had died of Covid after trying to find a major British grocery chain that still sold fresh seafood
Renfield had added his own Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit Insider Information to the script in front of him.
The story was about a Harvard commencement address from last week.
Renfield began, “Last week New Zealand’s airheaded windbag Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern gave the commencement address at Harvard University thus showing that institution’s pre-eminent decline from an institution that once promoted excellence.
Ardern used her commencement address to say that “democracy is in danger” without bothering to mention that the greatest danger to democracy comes from her and her fellow graduates of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum Global Young Leaders’ Training Program (let’s call them Emmanuel Macron, Justin Trudeau, Chrystia Freeland and Jagmeet Singh).
Jacinda Ardern during the address had this to say about her critics, “In my mind, when I read something especially horrific on my feed, I imagine it’s written by a lone person unacquainted with personal hygiene practices, dressed in a poorly fitted super hero costume – one that is baggy in all the wrong places.”
Renfield then showed a vision that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had uploaded to a computer.
The vision was of Jacinda Ardern in her hotel room the night before her Harvard University Commencement Address.
She had a vibrator in her hand which she then inserted into another part of her anatomy.
She was communicating on her laptop with a lone person unacquainted with personal hygiene practices and dressed in a poorly fitted super hero costume that was baggy in all the wrong places.
“Go on, talk dirty to me,” Ardern begged as she started to get off on her vibrator.
“That person she’s talking to via Zoom on her laptop happens to look a lot like Joe Biden,” Renfield pointed out.
“I’d love to smell your hair,” the Joe Biden looking person who was wearing a Superman cape on top and Batman silver pantyhose tights on his bottom remarked as he dropped a major brown bomb in his Depends diapers.
“I’m not licking you clean,” Karine Jean-Pierre shouted as she opened the Oval Office door, “I’m no Jen Psaki.”
“Oh God, oh God,” Ardern said as she went off in unison with her vibrator.
The vibrator suddenly went into electric shock as fluid dripped down from the ceiling.
In the hotel room above, Bill Gates was playing with his monkey as he shouted in Shakespearian language, “A pox on all thine house.”
“Oh, the void, the void,” Ardern screamed as her pussy received an electric shock.
“Who let that cat in here?” The surgeon who was a Steve Martin lookalike wanted to know as he performed in the operating theatre of Boston General Hospital.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 29th 2022.
Pan Goatee Beheads A Fat Ugly Blimp Who Thinks She’s Wonderful (She’s Mistaken)
World famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee giving the commencement address at Saint Thomas Aquinas High School.
Much more impressive than airheaded windbag New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s recent commencement address at Harvard.
The subject of his address was The Beauty of Aesthetics.
Pan Goatee had been unable to enter the Dollarama store in his neighbourhood for over a week.
The reason was everytime he entered the store where one caught an instant view of the cash till aisle upon entering, there was always a fat ugly blimp cashier working one of the tills or a fat ugly blimp customer standing in the aisle.
Goatee had made a promise to his anger management coach to try to see if he could go a week without beheading anybody.
Last Friday, he had entered the Dollarama store and there was a fat ugly blimp customer standing in the till aisle so he turned around and left.
A couple of nights ago, he had entered the Dollarama store and there were two fat ugly blimp customers standing in the till aisle so he turned around and left.
Tonight he entered the Dollarama store and there was a fat ugly blimp working one of the tills.
“Week’s up,” Pan Goatee stated so he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
She said before being beheaded, “But I’m wonderful. This I know for my Ophrah Winfrey daily astrological advisor tells me so.”
But the Ophrah Winfrey daily astrological advisor was obviously out of alignment with the stars.
As was now the fat ugly blimp’s head as well as the rest of her.
Krampus arrived to pick up the pieces and take them down to Tartarus.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Friday May 27th
2022.
Renfieldian Podcast For May 26th 2022
Back in the days when gasoline was plentiful and cheap and so was food and baby formula
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Thursday night podcast for this evening May 26th 2022.
Renfield began, “Here are some statistics you probably won’t see or hear being reported by the brainless mainstream media.”
Renfield went on, “The Office For National Statistics (ONS) in England revealed that a total of 69,446 people died within 28 days of getting injected with the Wuhan coronavirus vaccine between January 2021 and March 2022.
After 60 days, that total rose to 178,874 people dying after getting injected with the Wuhan coronavirus vaccine between January 2021 and March 2022.
Interestingly enough, the U.K. Health Security Agency’s Vaccine Surveillance Report indicates that 92% of all the pandemic related deaths in England in March of this year occurred among the vaccinated population.”
Moving on to another topic, Renfield said, “Meanwhile the supreme useful idiot for the Malthusian eugenicists better known as Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus was this week unanimously re-elected the Director-General of the WHO (World Health Organization).
Dr. Tedros who is not a medical doctor but only a Doctor of Philosophy was the fellow whose projections about the Wuhan coronavirus Covid-19 were so far off the mark that it led the world into a USSR and Communist China style lockdown that destroyed the global econonomy.
The only sure thing that the virus actually did was to turn 99.7% of the political leaders in the Western world into despots and tyrants.
Speaking of which the Tigray People’s Liberation Front Neo-Maoist head Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus’s World Health Organization is currently meeting in Switzerland to discuss the Global Pandemic Treaty which is being pushed by senile old fool Joe Biden.
The treaty calls for the nations of the world to surrender their sovereignty over health policy to the WHO (which is controlled and owned by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the world’s biggest pharmaceutical companies and the Chinese Communist Party).
The treaty also includes plans for a mandatory and universal vaccine passport system that’s overseen by the WHO.
Thus the WHO is setting the stage for the Mark of the Beast system that Saint John the Apostle foresaw almost 2000 years ago on the island of Patmos and recorded in his Book of The Apocalypse (Revelation) Chapter 13 verses 16 and 17.”
At that moment the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit was writing on the WHO logo sign outside the WHO Headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland.
Such that the sign now read,
WHO ?
And below that was written, “The Antichrist. That’s who.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 26th
2022.
Mariposa Noir
The witch Mariposa Noir with her imp Iago in the background
Mariposa Noir had decided that she was going to behead her arch enemy the Sherrif of Tottingham with an axe.
Lord Malcolm Bellamy the Sherrif of Tottingham had burnt too many of her coven sisters at the stake.
She was always having to recruit new women to make the coven number stand at 13.
But Lord Bellamy always managed to subtract the number by raiding their midnight ceremonies and capturing her sisters and then burning them at the stake.
Most of her coven sisters weren’t as advanced in witchcraft as she was.
So they weren’t able to quickly turn themselves into ravens like she was and fly away.
Instead they were captured by Lord Bellamy’s men.
Then tried, found guilty and burnt at the stake.
“This Lord Bellamy shall pay,” Mariposa Noir stated as she picked up the axe, “he shall pay with his head.”
Her imp Iago found this statement so utterly funny for some reason that he started laughing his head off (quite literally).
“Oh, Iago,” Mariposa kicked the head out the door of the inn where they were staying and put his body in the garbage can.
Mariposa went upstairs to her room to work out the final details of her plan to ensnare and behead Lord Malcolm Bellamy the Sheriff of Tottingham.
In the meantime Iago’s head outside the inn was eaten by a brown bear who came out of the woods and his body in the garbage can was taken out and burnt along with the rest of the garbage.
So that was the end of Iago.
Mariposa Noir had one advantage when it came to ensnaring the Sheriff of Tottingham.
The Sheriff did not know what she looked like for she was able to turn herself into a raven quite quickly when Tottingham’s men arrived on the scene of her coven’s midnight ritual.
And Mariposa Noir was a beautiful woman.
. . .
Lord Malcolm Bellamy was enjoying his glass of ale when he arrived at the inn.
He instructed the innkeeper to carve himself a large piece of roast wild boar off the spit in the fireplace.
Food and drink, the Sheriff of Tottingham smiled, all that was needed to complete his evening was a beautiful woman…
The cup Bellamy had in his hands about to touch his lips froze when he saw the vision of Mariposa Noir descending the stairs.
“Oh, my God,” the Sheriff exclaimed.
“Good evening, your Lordship,” Mariposa approached.
“You’ve heard of me?” Tottingham was pleased.
“You’ve rid the county of so many witches,” Mariposa answered, “Who hasn’t heard of you?”.
The Sheriff had to agree.
“I’m afraid not much can be done with your axe whose head broke earlier this evening,” the innkeeper said as he walked through the door, “The blacksmith says you’ll probably need a new axe.”
“Very well,” Mariposa shrugged.
“What did you need an axe for?” Tottingham asked.
“To cut off the heads of some chickens,” Mariposa replied.
“That is a useful purpose for an axe,” Tottingham crowed as he nodded his head.
“Perhaps you’d care to lay your head against my bosom,” Mariposa suggested.
“An excellent idea,” Lord Malcolm Bellamy did just that, “My, what long red painted fingernails you have.”
“The better to rip your head off, my dear,” Mariposa smiled as she did just that.
-A short story written by Christopher
Wednesday May 25th 2022.
Renfield R. Renfield Shows A Movie Trailer On His Podcast
British MP Renfield R. Renfield would be showing a movie trailer for a global blockbuster new movie on his Monday night podcast.
Fans of the Renfieldian podcast wondered what new movie he’d be showing a trailer for.
So they tuned in to find out.
Said Renfield, “This is a trailer I’ve written, directed and produced myself.
My friend the ghost of Orson Welles is doing the voice-over narration for the trailer.”
Renfield then showed the trailer.
Narrator and movie trailer announcer: For all those of you who were frightened to death by CORONAVIRUS (released in the autumn of 2019) and were so frightened you spent time locked inside your houses isolated and alone and quarantined from the rest of the world driving small businesses, family owned grocery stores and neighbourhood locally owned restaurants into bankruptcy while Amazon, Walmart, Costco and Big Pharma made grossly huge and obscenely excessive profits, the makers of CORONAVIRUS (2019) are pleased to bring you this spring MONKEYPOX: The Sequel.
Bill Gates is back in his role as the billionaire oligarch who wants to reduce the world’s population to 500 million people as it is written on the mysterious and suspiciously erected Georgia Guidestones.
Klaus Schwab reprises his role as the German engineer who wants to bring you a totalitarian One World Government and have everyone either dead or turned into a robotic cyborg by the year 2030.
George Soros returns as the nauseatingly annoying pipsqueak of a billionaire who engages in such evil endeavours because he’s… well… just plain evil.
Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus is back in his supporting role as the non-medical doctor doctor Tigray People’s Liberation Front Neo-Maoist head of WHO- the World Health Organization- controlled and owned by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Big Pharma and the Chinese Communist Party although that fact is not mentioned and advertised on their letterhead stationery.
Joe Biden puts in a cameo appearance as the diaper wearing senile old fool who wants to give WHO absolute global control over managing the health policy of every nation on the planet.
And Kamala Harris puts in a cameo appearance as a dumbed down version of the villainess Madame Defarge from Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities as she cackles her way through television interviews in which she sings the praises of child sacrifice to Baal and Moloch.
Dr. Anthony Fauci guest stars as the evil mad scientist (so beloved by the brainless mainstream media) who relishes in telling every American citizen what to do and how to follow the science even though the science Dr. Fauci follows changes hour by hour.
Jorge Mario Bergoglio is back in his supporting role as the Satanic AntiPope Francis who tells his flock to take whatever vaccine Bill Gates and company is offering them even if it kills them.
Announcer and Trailer Narrator (in very sinister tones): Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
Because that’s what the brainless mainstream media wants you to be…
Announcer and trailer narrator (in very bold and grandly eloquent overdramatic tones): MONKEYPOX: The Sequel.
Coming soon to a planet of nutcases and morons near you.
-A Renfieldian movie trailer
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 23rd
2022.
Sophia Loren, Yvonne de Carlo and Gina Lollobrigida will not be appearing in this turkey of a film
Renfieldian Podcast For Friday May 20th 2022
Spending a Friday evening listening to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Friday night podcast
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Friday night podcast.
Began Renfield, “In the news today the Russian ruble is now at a 4 year high after Joe Biden’s past 4 months effort to destroy the Russian economy…”
Renfield went on, “In other news, rock star Bono asked the Pope a question at yesterday’s pontifical educational initiative.
Bono asked the Pope, “I would like to ask His Holiness if he thinks that women and girls play the same role in tackling the climate crisis?”.
Pope Francis answered, “In the common saying, we usually talk about Mother Earth not Father Earth.”
A man dressed as a kangaroo who was standing next to Bono then asked the Pope, “I would like to ask His Holiness if this means that he as the Holy Father would be unable to breastfeed my joey?”.
A transgendered member of Joe Biden’s cabinet, who was standing next to the kangaroo, objected to the transphobic tone of the kangaroo’s question.”
Renfield went on to other news, “At next week’s upcoming annual World Economic Forum in Davos Switzerland, shamans from the Amazon region of South America will be displaying magic mushrooms and other psychedelic plant specimens.
Yes, Bloomberg magazine is happy to report that business and political oligarchs meeting at Davos’ World Economic Forum will be able to explore the opportunities for personal and business growth in drugs.
The oligarchs will get a chance to stop at the “House of Psychedelics” along the Davos promenade and inquire how they might be able to use psychedelics.
This psychedelic showcase is a sign of the growing interest in still-illegal substances among the architects of “The Great Reset”.
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster informs me (following one of his non-psychedelic visions) that Pope Francis is considering appointing a stacked Vatican Commission to investigate whether Communion host wafers can be made from something else other than bread and more specifically from certain plants in the Amazon region of South America.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi hit her head upon hearing the news and remarked, “Of all the times San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone picked to bar me from receiving Holy Communion.”
Rumour has it that Ms. Pelosi is considering buying a membership in a Pro-Life organization.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 20th
2022.
British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Advice To Vladimir Putin
As Mei-ling Manchu plots the overthrow of Communist China’s despot Xi Jinping, British MP Renfield R. Renfield gives advice to Russian President Vladimir Putin in his Thursday night podcast
Mei-ling Manchu was getting plenty of new support for her cause to overthrow Xi.
Shanghai’s residents were fed up with his rule after being locked down and pad locked behind iron fences in the name of the worship of the Blessed and Eternal Coronavirus.
Students at Beijing universities were tearing down the iron fences that Beijing police were putting up in the name of the worship of the Blessed and Eternal Coronavirus (that the Wuhan Institute of Virology had released upon the world with the encouragement of Bill Gates who was now working on a new and improved Monkeypox virus).
Only the brainless leaders of the Western world and the brainless mainstream media in the western world and CCP propaganda itself thought that Xi’s rule was secure and iron clad.
They were all blind to the shaking going on behind the Bamboo Curtain.
Meanwhile in Canada, Alberta’s Neo-Fascist tyrant Premier Jason Kenney (who had thrown pastors in jail for violating his draconian Maoist style lockdowns in the name of the worship of the blessed and eternal Coronavirus) had announced his resignation as United Conservative Party leader yesterday May 18th (on what would have been Pope John Paul II’s 102nd birthday) since only 51.4% of the party membership had voted for him in a leadership review.
His United Conservative Party wasn’t so united after all.
And over in Britain, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was giving advice to Russian President Vladimir Putin in his Thursday night podcast.
Said Renfield, “Russian President Vladimir Putin is always telling everyone that he opposes the New World Order of the Great Reset being promoted by Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum and the vaccinazi leaders of the Western world (the European Union, Canada, the U.S., Australia and New Zealand). The sign of loyalty and fidelity to this New World Order is to wear a stupid looking diaper over one’s face (as Justin Trudeau always does when he isn’t wearing blackface) in the name of the worship of the Blessed and Eternal Coronavirus. And also to hold sodomite Pride parades all over the place in the month of June where weird looking freaks, degenerates and perverts blaspheme the sign of God’s rainbow.
Anyways the World Economic Forum is holding its annual general meeting this coming Sunday May 22nd to Thursday May 26th in Davos, Switzerland.
This conference will host over 2,000 political and industry leaders who back the goals of the World Economic Forum and its Great Reset and the New Age Communist 2030 Sustainability Agenda of the United Nations.
They will discuss their plans for “pandemic recovery, tackling climate change, the future for work, accelerating stakeholder capitalism (what they call their system of hybrid Fascism and Marxism combined) and harnessing new technologies (their expression for eliminating 8.5 billion people of the world’s population and turning obnoxious billionaire oligarchs like George Soros and Bill Gates into immortal Transhumanist gods by uniting their decrepit and spastic old bodies with AI technology so that the world might enjoy their wisdom (or lack thereof!) forever.”
Renfield went on, “Anyways this World Economic Forum Annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland will have immense security measures for its so-called elite participants including 5000 military personnel and a strictly enforced no-fy zone.
So while Ukraine doesn’t get a no-fly zone, the World Economic Forum in Davos Switzerland does.
If Vladimir Putin is truly opposed to the New World Order of the Great Reset, I call upon him to defy the no-fly zone and send a hypersonic missile directly at Davos and blow all the evil demon worshipping adherents at that conference away to kingdom come.
Thank you for listening, ladies and gentlemen. God bless you. And good night.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 19th
2022.
A Darwinian Pox
Pan Goatee signs autographs on pineapples in a grocery store
Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking downtown when a repulsive looking uglo tried to pass him on the sidewalk.
Goatee beheaded the uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
Krampus dutifully carried the uglo’s remains down to Tartarus.
Later as he tried to catch a bus back home, a really super super repulsively pathetically ugly fat ugly blimp was waiting at the same stop.
The repulsive uglo’s name was She Who Consumes Too Many Buffalo Steaks On An Hourly Basis.
Goatee beheaded the fat repulsive uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trilion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 rillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x ad infinitum etc. etc. pieces.
There was an almost infinite number of atoms, sub-atoms and sub-particles for Krampus to carry down to Tartarus.
Pan Goatee caught the C-Train LRT home instead.
Later he was walking towards a neighbourhood grocery store when a fat ugly blimp walked in front of him to enter an Auto Parts store.
Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces remarking, “I imagine the springs on your automobile probably went kaput due to your enormous weight.”
Krampus carried both the fat ugly blimp’s remains and the flat as a pancake automobile down to Tartarus.
. . .
There are currently 30 cases of Monkeypox virus in Europe, 13 in the Canadian province of Quebec and one in the city of Boston Massachusetts in the U.S.
The demon Bideninus (a demon who definitely wasn’t very bright) wondered underneath his burning Dunce cap if Bill Gates had invested any money in a Monkeypox vaccine.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 18th
2022.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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