Michelangelo’s Vision of Justin Trudeau At The Calgary Stampede

July 9, 2022 at 8:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , )

Justin Trudeau’s favourite children’s book

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was sitting in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises when he had a vision of Canada’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau attending this year’s Calgary Stampede.

The pompous and arrogant despot was injected (unknown to him) in the buttocks with truth serum.

The needle was injected by Set Enterprises’ 6 foot 8 tall invisible Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.

Justin Trudeau then proceeded to walk around the Stampede grounds.

The tyrant (under the influence of the truth serum starting to kick in) thought to himself, “My Satan, this city seems to have abnormally high numbers of fat ugly blimps (as well as other female uglos) in it. Pan Goatee certainly has his job cut out for him trying to bring aesthetic beauty to this city. But I better not say that aloud. Otherwise people may start to suspect that I’m not the feminist I pretend to be.”

Justin Trudeau then saw a group of First Nations people dressed in native headdress and clothing banging the drums and dancing and going, “Ay-yi-ay-yi. Ay-yi-ay-yi.”

Castro’s possible offspring remarked, “How does banging the drums and going ay-yi-ay-yi possibly compare with the great music that European culture has produced like the works of Bach and Beethoven? But I better not say that aloud. Otherwise people may start to suspect that I’m not the champion of indigenous people that I pretend to be.”

Justin Trudeau was then introduced to this year’s Stampede Native American Indian Princess.

“My Satan,’ Justin thought under the influence of the truth serum, “What a fat ugly blimp. Other years I was pleased to be introduced to the Stampede Native American Indian Princess because they were usually quite beautiful. But this year they picked a fat ugly blimp. Are First Nations women now trying to emulate their white female Calgarian fat ugly blimp counterparts? But I better not say that out loud. Otherwise people will definitely recognize that I’m only pretending to be a feminist and a champion of indigenous peoples.”

Michelangelo thought to himself, “I must upload this vision to Instagram.”

-A vampire novel chapter
Written Saturday July 9th



  1. George F. said,

    Only an enlightened soul such as myself LOL’s at most of your posts! My Satan! OMV! PH unbalanced wouldn’t get it. And btw, I played in the play “Harvey” back in the day when women were throwing themselves at me. MV, do I miss that day but Imma tryin’ to move forward with shit that’s new and exciting but nothin’ beats those kinda thrills…

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, PH Unbalanced definitely wouldn’t get it.

      He still has trouble figuring out how to use PH Balanced shampoo and conditioner.

      Which role did you play in Harvey?

      I still remember Jimmy Stewart’s performance in the 1950 film Harvey.

      • George F. said,

        Wilson, of all characters.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Oh yes, that character in the 1950 film was played by Jesse White who went on to play the Maytag Repairman in TV commercials of the 1970s.

  2. George F. said,

    I’m also learning some cults teaches Satan is the brother of Jesus, and Jesus was a polygamist. I’m tellin’ ya, I’m getting tricked into reading scripture as well. The Bible has backdoored me!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, some cults do teach that.

      Let us in Seinfeldian rabbi fashion call one such cult the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka Mormon.

      Let us also call one of its adherents and political imbeciles and failed Presidential candidates Mitt Romney.

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