Joe Biden Asked To Perform An Agamemnon

August 31, 2022 at 10:57 pm (Art History, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Literature, Mythology, News, Politics, Science, Technology, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Artemis being serenaded by musicians who were brought to life from a mural painting

“Who is Aeschylus?” Vice-President Kamala Harris asked one of her aides.

“He was an ancient Greek playwright who lived from approximately 525 BC to 456 BC and is believed to have written anywhere from 70 to 90 plays,” her aide answered, “He is considered the Father of Tragedy. In fact his ghost is believed to have written the recent Inflation Reduction Act. In fact on the night of April 4th 1968, Bobby Kennedy quoted from Aeschylus while addressing Afro-American voters in Indianapolis, Indiana when he had to break the tragic news to them that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King had been assassinated. The Aeschylus quote was this:

“Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.”

“What were some of his plays?” Kamala asked.

“Well he once wrote a trilogy of plays about the family of King Agamemnon of Mycenae the fellow who commanded the Greeks during the Trojan War,” her aide replied, “The trilogy was called The Oresteia named after Orestes who was a son of King Agamemnon.”

“Rather ironic you should be talking about The Oresteia,” remarked a leading high-ranking NASA official as he walked by on his way to the Oval Office to see Joe Biden.

“Ironic? How so?” Kamala inquired.

“That’s on a need to know basis and you don’t need to know,” the NASA official replied.

The FBI agent accompanying the NASA official was a Neo-Bolshevik Communist (like most FBI agents are these days) and did not understand the classical allusions that were being thrown around.

This entire scene was part of a dream (or was it a vision?) being seen by Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises Laboratories in London, England.

The name of the high-ranking NASA official was Dr. Nachash Naga.

He was on an important mission for NASA.

The Artemis 1 moon rocket was supposed to have been launched this past Monday August 29th 2022 but then something happened and the launch was postponed until this Saturday September 3rd 2022.

But even that might be postponed further because of new information that had come up.


“Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga addressed the Pooper-In-Chief, “We need you to do something for us.”

“Glad to oblige,” Biden ate a piece of Ex-Lax.

“Mr. President, we have a problem and it isn’t Houston,” Dr. Nachash Naga explained, “Do you remember last fall when you went deer hunting?”.

“Um, I don’t actually,” answered the Pooper-In-Chief who suffered from dementia.

“Well, you shot and killed a deer,” Dr. Nachash Naga pointed out.

“Good for me,” Joe Biden grinned.

“Well that turned out to be a bad thing, Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga hissed, “It turned out that the deer you shot and killed was a deer sacred to the Greek goddess Artemis.”

“Who is Artemis?” Joe Biden looked at a photo of the Belvedere Apollo and wondered if he should invite the sculpted statue to join his cabinet.

“Artemis was the Greek goddess of the hunt and wild animals as well as the Greek goddess of the moon,” Dr. Nachash Naga flashed his incisors, “and as a result of your killing that deer sacred to her, she is preventing the Artemis 1 rocket from being launched.”

“So, what can I do about it?” Joe Biden scratched his diaper rash.

“Well when King Agamemnon of Mycenae slew and killed a deer sacred to Artemis and the goddess prevented the Greek fleet from sailing towards Troy as punishment, Agamemnon was forced to sacrifice his daughter Iphigenia to Artemis to appease her wrath.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Biden put on Kamala Harris’ high school Dunce cap.

“We want you to sacrifice your daughter to Artemis in the next couple of days to appease her wrath so we can get the Artemis 1 moon rocket launched this coming Saturday,” Dr. Nachash Naga began filing his fingernails.

“Can I sniff her hair before I sacrifice her?” Joe Biden asked.

“Of course, Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga looked exasperated.

“Wait,” Joe Biden suddenly had a moment of clarity after taking a Claritin tablet, “Jill might be rather pissed at me if I sacrifice Ashley.”

“Joe, I have a suggestion,” Barack Obama delivered his instructions into Joe’s earpiece as he always did, “Did you ever have any extra marital affairs?”.

“I can’t remember,” Joe was trying to remember the tune of the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memory.

“Well ask some of your FBI agents to stop sifting through Donald Trump’s underwear and try to track down any extra marital affairs you might have had and any children you might have had particularly girls,” Obama explained, “Then you can sacrifice that daughter from an extra marital affair.”

“Gee, I wonder if any are still alive,” Biden picked his nose, “This is one occasion when I wish I hadn’t been so gung ho for abortion.”

“Just send out the FBI, Joe,” Obama barked, “Find any surviving daughters from those extra marital affairs and just do the damned sacrifice. We’ve got to get to the moon before Vladimir Putin and Jackie Gleason’s wife Alice do.”

Meanwhile in Hunter Biden’s room, he was being visited by the ghost of a beautiful young Greek girl named Electra.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 31st

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Mikhail Gorbachev Dies At Age 91

August 30, 2022 at 9:52 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Obituaries, Personal essays) (, )

Mikhail Gorbachev
The last leader of the Soviet Union

Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev (March 2nd 1931-August 30th 2022) the former President of the Soviet Union and the former General-Secretary of the Soviet Communist Party has died at the age of 91.

He peacefully ended the Cold War, allowed the dismantling of the Berlin Wall and allowed the nations of Central and Eastern Europe to leave the Soviet Warsaw Pact orbit.

Gorbachev was a Russian equivalent of Czechoslovakian President Alexander Dubcek (the architect of the 1968 Prague Spring) – he tried to bring about “Communism with a human face” but as some wise commentator noted, “He was trying to reform the irreformable.”

The USSR collapsed in 1991 and in 1999 U.S. President Bill Clinton launched a 78 day NATO bombing campaign against Serbia (a long standing ally of Russia) and as a result Russian President Boris Yeltsin spent the spring and summer of 1999 appointing and then firing Prime Ministers left, right and center until he could finally find one who’d stand up against the West (who refused to regard Russia as an equal partner).

He finally found one in Vladimir Putin whom he appointed Prime Minister of Russia on August 9th 1999.

Yeltsin resigned as President of Russia on the last day of December 1999 and Putin became President.

Of course the brainless mainstream media in the West would not see the connection between the hare brained foreign policies of Bill Clinton and his airheaded Secretary of State Madeleine Albright (for whom a more appropriate name would have been Madeleine Halfbright) and the advent of Vladimir Putin.

Now Gorbachev who hoped for a world of peace between East and West has died.

And Stalinists and Trotskyites in a final reunited front now run the Democratic Party in the U.S. and the Federal Liberal Party of Canada.

The last of the Alexander Dubcek style reform Communists have died with Gorbachev.

R.I.P. Mikhail Gorbachev.

-An obituary and personal essay
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 30th

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Pan Goatee Beheads Fat Ugly Blimp and Her Moronic Fat Ugly Boyfriend

August 29, 2022 at 10:26 pm (Aesthetics, Folklore, Ghost Story, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, )

As Transhumanist philosopher Yuval Noah Harari gave yet another speech arguing that all of humanity must be turned into robotic cyborgs by 2030, world famous genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was sitting in a cafe enjoying an iced coffee on an extremely hot late August day.

His enjoyment would not last long however.

For an extremely repulsively ugly fat ugly blimp and her moronic low IQ fat ugly boyfriend came and stood directly in front of the window where he was sitting.

One moment it was paradise.

The next moment the depths of Hell.

What was different about this aesthetically challenged and intellectually challenged duo was that usually in other cases where Pan Goatee had seen fat ugly blimps and their moronic low IQ boyfriends, the moronic low IQ boyfriend was usually quite thin and slim.

And in appearance the moronic low IQ boyfriend was usually mediocre looking.

Not good looking nor ugly.

Just mediocre.

Like the abilities and talents of most journalists and reporters working in the brainless mainstream media today.

However in this case, not only was the woman (although even members of Joe Biden’s cabinet probably would not want to self-identify as whatever gender this creature was) super extremely grotesquely fat and super repulsively hideously ugly, her boyfriend was likewise fat and ugly.

Although not as fat and ugly as she was.

“I can well imagine the arguments you two must have over who gets the last slice of pizza after you’ve gotten down to the last of the 48 dozen Xtra Large Pizzas you ordered,” Pan Goatee remarked as he cut off the heads of both fat ugly blimp and low IQ moronic looking fat ugly boyfriend and cut them up into 999 trillion pieces each.

Krampus had to be treated for a hernia after he carried the remains of both fat uglos down to the depths of Tartarus.

Later that night Pan Goatee had gone to a grocery store when he saw a thin repulsive uglo standing at a street corner with a combination of blue and green hair.

“Having two ridiculous unnatural hair colours still doesn’t make you look more attractive,” the satyr noted as he threw his astral laser machete at her and the machete beheaded her and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Later after buying a few items at the grocery store, Goatee went for a walk around the neighbourhood where the grocery store was located.

While walking through the neighbourhood, he encountered two fat ugly aboriginal blimps.

Goatee beheaded both blimps and cut them up into 999 trillion pieces each.

The Demon Buffalo of Buffalo Lake (noted in both Alberta Cree and Blackfoot First Nations folklore) then appeared and told the satyr that the two women were the result of an experiment being conducted by the Great Grandmother of the West (known in the oral traditions of the Hopi, Navajo, Pueblo and Apache peoples as Spider Grandmother) and the leader of the Circle of Spirits who was invoked by a Manitoba First Nations shaman at the July summit in Quebec City which both Pope Francis and Canada’s Neo-Stalinst tyrant Justin Trudeau had attended.

“The Great Grandmother of the West is cross-breeding walruses with sasquatch and then magically turning them into human form,” the Demon Buffalo explained, “those two you just slew were the results of this cross-breeding program.”

“But I thought sasquatch were totally imaginary fictional and mythical creatures,” Pan Goatee protested, “Only seen by those who have drank too much Kokanee Beer or consumed too many magic mushrooms in the Pacific Northwest.”

“No, sasquatch are real beings,” the Demon Buffalo explained, “Although they do try to hide out and not be seen by humans. Namely because of a terrifying prophecy that Coyote (the trickster god spoken of in the mythology and folklore of the North American Plains, West Coast and Southwest Indians) made over a thousand years ago. Coyote said that someday the world’s most boring storyteller and teller of tales would inundate the world with a large amount of incomparably boring stories featuring murder mysteries and sasquatch.”

“I wonder where I should go? Philadelphia or Houston?” The ghost of W.C. Fields walked by wearing his top hat and carrying a cane.

Fields doffed his hat in the direction of both satyr and demon buffalo.

Thus showing that what little hair he had was in definite need of PH Unbalanced Shampoo.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 29th

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Qonzilqointec’s Plan of Action

August 26, 2022 at 10:15 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec at a critical point along the U.S.-Mexico border in Texas

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was causing massive distraction among U.S. border patrol agents in Texas.

As the eyes of Texas were upon Qonzilqointec (who was the spiritual goddaughter of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl), 50,000 Aztec warriors from the 15th Century (who had been raised from the dead by South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo) crossed the U.S.-Mexico border into Texas.

Their mission was to take back all of the southwestern U.S. that had once belonged to Mexico.

Meanwhile in Washington D.C., senile old fool Joe Biden was telling his guests at a White House dinner that the greatest threat to the U.S. was from Russia.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Friday August 26th

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Athena In Kyiv

August 25, 2022 at 10:47 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Athena was in Kyiv the capital of Ukraine.

She was having a photograph in black and white taken of her by the ghost of Orson Welles.

Athena remarked, “Coloured photographs in Vogue Magazine are for the Zelenskys. I much prefer a black and white photograph taken by the great Orson Welles.”

Volodymyr Zelensky the President of Ukraine and his wife Olena had recently had coloured photographs of themselves taken by VOGUE Magazine and were featured as the main subjects in a recent issue of the magazine.

Including a photograph of them making out while wearing clothes.

Showing the world that Ukrainians did not always have to be in their birthday suits while making love.

At the moment that Athena was getting her photo taken by the ghost of Orson Welles, Russian President Vladimir Putin was in Moscow wearing a bear skin rug and making out with U.S. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who was undertaking a secret undercover mission on behalf of the senile Joe Biden Administration.

The bear skin rug that Putin was wearing had belonged to a Russian brown bear that had been killed by fallout shrapnel from the car bomb blast that had killed Darya Dugina the daughter of Russian ultra-nationalist philosopher Aleksandr Dugin.

Russia had accused a female Ukrainian operative of planting the bomb and fleeing to Estonia.

According to the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit, the bomb had been built by the Nazi vampire Dr. Eichmann Mengele who had headed the American CIA’s Science and Research Division since 1950.

Interestingly enough the Russian brown bear killed by the Dugin car bomb blast (whose body and fur had now been turned by the President of Russia into his own personal conjugal relations rug with AOC as the first lucky recipient of the furry embrace) had been possessed for a number of years by the ghost of Grigori Rasputin the Russian monk and mystic who had served as advisor and healer to the Imperial Russian Romanov Family of Czar Nicholas II.

Several years back Hades the Greek god of the Underworld had granted the ghost of Grigori Rasputin a dispensational release from the realm of Hades.

The mystic mad monk’s spirit then took possession of a Russian brown bear’s body and had been possessing it ever since.

That is until the date of the Dugin car bombing on Saturday August 20th 2022.

When the bear had been killed by fallout shrapnel from the car bombing.

The bear’s last recorded words were, “I never got to have tea and marmalade with Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II like Paddington did.”

Vladimir Putin was now thinking of digging up Rasputin’s body at Tsarskoye Selo and after a heavy retouch at MacPherson’s Funeral Parlour in Moscow (Scottish undertakers and morticians were the best) have Rasputin’s ghost take possession of his original body.

Putin had sent Patriarch Kirill of Moscow to negotiate with the underworld god Hades on his behalf.

Patriarch Kirill had recently been called “Vladimir Putin’s altar boy” by George Soros’ altar boy Pope Francis.

As Vladimir Putin sat on the bear skin rug smoking a cigarette and singing “He’s got the whole world in his hands…”, AOC lay back on the bear skin rug with a look of total esctasy on her face.

She sighed, “I’ve never known a real man until now.”

Putin commented, “Well, you’ve got to stop hanging around with members of Joe Biden’s cabinet.”

Meanwhile in London, England, as the Greek goddess Athena was getting photographed in Kiev, the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill was complaining to British MP Renfield R. Renfield that the famous original December 1941 Yousuf Karsh taken photograph of Winston Churchill that had been hanging in the Chateau Laurier Hotel in Ottawa had been stolen and replaced with a copy about 8 months ago and hotel staff had only noticed now.

As Welles was finishing up the photo session, vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing walked into the room and started making out with the goddess Athena.

“Not again,” Welles sighed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 25th

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The Pirate Queen

August 24, 2022 at 10:03 pm (History, Poetry) (, )

A sight not to be forgotten once seen
This Seven Seas beauty who was the Pirate Queen
She went on many a raid and plunder
From Caribbean to Africa and a land Down Under
From the cold waves of Scotland’s North Sea
To the holy shores of Galilee
The Pirate Queen struck lust then terror in men’s hearts
Her name is still spoken on hushed lips in tropical parts

-A poem written by Chistopher
Wednesday August 24th 2022.

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The Evil Eichmann Mengele

August 23, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural) (, , )

Conrad Schulz was a mere private in the German army when the Allies landed at Normandy on D-Day 1944. He hid from the fighting when the Allies landed.

He was still hiding in a haystack when the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith found him, bit him on the neck and turned him into a vampire.

As a vampire, Conrad Schulz changed his name to Eichmann Mengele.

He chose for his new name the last names of two of his heroes Adolf Eichmann and Dr. Josef Mengele.

Eichmann Mengele was initiated into Heinrich Himmler’s SS at Wewelsburg Castle on Christmas Day (although the Nazis had renamed the holiday Julsfest in 1941 and marked it as a celebration of the Winter Solstice rather than Christ’s birth and the Germanic god Wotan had replaced Saint Nicholas) 1944.

But the Third Reich would only last another four months.

Fortunately for Eichmann Mengele, he was brought to the U.S. under Operation Paperclip and joined the OSS which later became the CIA.

In 1950 he was named Director of the CIA’s Science and Research Division.

Eichmann Mengele called himself Doctor although he had never earned a Doctorate at any accredited University in the world.

Dr. Eichmann Mengele did teach himself Physics.

Mengele worked for the Deep State within the American intelligence establishment a group that sought to bring about a Fascist/Communist hybrid totalitarian One World Government.

Mengele established the CIA’s MK-ULTRA brainwashing experiments in Montreal in the 1950s.

In the early 1960s, Mengele used his knowledge of physics to bring about the death of an early staunch opponent of the American Deep State.

According to Mengele’s calculations, if he had a gunman firing from the top floor of the Texas School Book Depository and another 2 or 3 gunmen firing from the Grassy Knoll, he could successfully bump off this opponent of the Deep State.

Five years later, he arranged for a man who had been brainwashed by both the Church of Scientology and the Process Church of the Final Judgment to bump off the Deep State opponent’s younger brother (who was also an opponent of the Deep State).

The sole surviving brother in that family was a total idiot (after all the man’s idea of saving a drowning woman was to roll up the car windows and swim away).

That idiot brother was convinced to serve the interests of the American Deep State.

The idiot brother spent much of his political career turning the U.S. Democratic Party into a Neo-Bolshevik Communist Party (rather ironic given the fact that his two assassinated older brothers were staunch anti-Communists).

Another brilliant coup that Dr. Eichmann Mengele organized in 1969 dealt with a hippy commune leader who had studied brainwashing techniques in both the Church of Scientology and the Process Church of the Final Judgment.

In August of 1969, this hippy commune leader had his brainwashed followers butcher a rising young Hollywood actress and six other people over the course of three nights.

Mengele was pleased with all these results.

In 2020 Mengele worked on the development of vaccines.

Vaccines to bring all of humanity together into one group hive mind with no more individual thought.

“How are we going to have this play out?” Dr. Anthony Fauci had asked Dr. Eichmann Mengele.

“By telling them they must follow the science only it is we who will determine what the science is,” Dr. Eichmann Mengele answered.

“Will they do it?” Dr. Fauci inquired.

“Of course, contemporary public education as well as contemporary movies and TV and contemporary music have dumbed down most of the population quite considerably,” Dr. Mengele explained.

“So can you give me an analogy of how this Follow the Science mantra will work on the general population?” Dr. Fauci asked.

“All right,” Dr. Eichmann Mengele smiled, “The analogy is this statement: Five out of six scientists have proven that Russian roulette is harmless.”

“And the population will never give any thought on what happened to the sixth scientist,” a glimmer of understanding showed up on Dr. Fauci’s usually dimwitted face.

“Exactly,” Dr. Eichmann Mengele lit a cigar.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Tuesday August 23rd

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Pan Goatee Beheads Green Haired Fat Ugly Blimp and Foul Mouthed Swearing Uglo

August 22, 2022 at 10:56 pm (Aesthetics) ()

The Norse trickster god Loki was standing on a street corner contemplating appearing in a Gilbert and Sullivan style operetta starring Australia’s infamous and notorious Uncle Ernie.

He wondered if he could talk Thor, who was starring in all these nauseating Marvel World motion pictures which were nothing at all like the world of authentic Norse mythology, into ditching Marvel and also appearing in this operetta like he Loki.

Loki suddenly noticed world famous genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee standing across the street.

Last week Pan Goatee had beheaded Loki and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

Loki had only recently been brought back from the dead by Asclepius the Greek god of medicine.

The Norse trickster god quickly hid himself under a garbage can (which also served as a recruiting booth for the leadership of the Alberta Provincial Liberal Party) so that the homicidally inclined satyr wouldn’t notice him.

Pan Goatee boarded a bus and sat down.

Suddenly a fat ugly blimp with green hair boarded the bus.

Pan Goatee threw his astral laser machete at her instantly beheading the rotund looking uglo.

The astral laser machete cut up the repulsively looking fat ugly blimp into 999 trillion pieces while the ghost of Tiny “Tiptoe Through The Tulips” Tim sang “Having green coloured hair doesn’t make a fat ugly blimp like yourself look more attractive.”

Tim sang the words 999 trillion times in conjunction with the machete cutting her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Tim’s repetitive words of the song was no Tommy James and The Shondells Crimson and Clover Over and Over.

The bus driver and all the passengers ended up committing hari kari by the time the song and the fat ugly blimp’s dismemberment had finished.

Pan Goatee left the bus by the back door and waited for another bus to show up.

He got on the next bus.

The satyr noticed an extremely repulsive looking uglo sitting at the front of the bus so he went and sat and the back where he wouldn’t have to look at the grotesque uglo.

Later when he was half-way home, he heard the repulsive looking uglo swearing into her smart phone at the front of the bus.

The foul mouthed swearing and definitely low class uglo then got off the bus and continued her foul mouthed swearing as she walked down the bus station platform displaying for all the trembling world to see the sheer ugliness of her repulsive looking ugly face.

The satyr threw his astral laser machete out the window.

It beheaded the foul mouthed swearing repulsive looking uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Later on an evening bus trip that Pan Goatee had taken, another fat ugly blimp had boarded that bus.

Goatee was sitting at the front of the bus and the fat ugly blimp wisely went and sat at the back.

However when the fat uglo blimp went to get off the bus, she exited out the door closest to Pan Goatee rather than the door closest to where the fat ugly blimp had been sitting.

Goatee put his astral laser machete on auto-pilot and threw it out the window.

The machete beheaded the moronic fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Meanwhile in the U.S., the evil mad scientist Dr. Anthony Fauci announced his resignation as the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases effective this December.

What brought about this situation was that Dr. Anthony Fauci had been beheaded and cut up into 999 trillion pieces by Pan Goatee last week (the same day that Loki had been beheaded and dismembered by the satyr).

Fauci had been beheaded and dismembered by Pan Goatee on a previous occasion and the deranged mad scientist had been brought back from the dead by Asclepius the Greek god of medicine.

However Asclepius could only bring a mortal back from the dead once or otherwise he’d face the wrath of Zeus.

So the Nazi vampire Dr. Eichmann Mengele who had been brought to America under the terms of Operation Paperclip and who had headed the American CIA’s Science and Research Division since 1950 was asked to genetically clone Fauci’s body from a sample of Fauci’s hair.

Mengele finished his project of building a car bomb to blow up a Russian ultra-nationalist (the bomb blew up the Russian ultra-nationalist’s daughter instead).

He then went to work on cloning Fauci’s body.

Joe Biden put in a request to Hades the Greek god of the Underworld to grant a dispensational release to the ghost of Dr. Anthony Fauci (who could then possess the genetically cloned body).

Hades granted the request but only allowed it until next December.

Hence the reason for Fauci’s December resignation.

-Written Monday August 22nd 2022.

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Carson Cody Albion Private Eye Writes In The First Person

August 21, 2022 at 9:39 pm (Detective story) (, , )

So this woman was sitting in my room when I woke up this morning.

“All your clothes are on,” I said to her.

“And all your clothes are off,” she winked at me.

Damn I hate it when that happens.

“I’m glad to see you’re standing at attention while they play The Star Spangled Banner on the radio,” she smiled.

“Well actually it was the sight of you first thing in the morning that’s made me stand at attention like this,” I answered.

“I was hoping that would be the case,” she smoothed her skirt.

“Do that again,” I said, “and if I was an English nobleman, you’d be able to sing those old Battle Hymn of the Republic lyrics Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory of The Coming of The Lord.”

“God, you certainly don’t talk like that highly forgettable writer of sasquatch murder mysteries Mister Phil Huston,” her eyes shone like a child’s on Christmas morning.

Needless to say I was rather proud of my North Pole but answered in reply to her comment rather than her eyes, “Thank God for that. But if I ever needed to put myself to sleep rather quickly, it might come in handy to talk and write like Phil Huston.”

“Is there anything you’d like me to do?” The woman asked.

“Yes lie back on the bed and sing Mr. Sandman Bring Me A Dream,” I replied.

“What ever for?” She inquired.

“I want to see who does it better,” I explained, “Me or Neil Gaiman.”

Thirty minutes later she was singing the Carly Simon sung theme song (from the 1977 James Bond film The Spy Who Loved Me) “Nobody Does It Better.”

-A Carson Cody Albion
Detective Story
Written by Christopher
Sunday August 21st

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Trails West

August 19, 2022 at 9:56 pm (Poetry, western) (, , )

She came on a locomotive train from the East
Not knowing if the Wild West would be famine or feast
She was looking for a man to marry
And eastern men were so boring and bland
She wondered about those who for law and order did stand

But there were plenty of villains in the Wild West
Gunslingers who put others to the test
And marshalls and sheriffs could be quite corrupt
She started to wonder if she left the East too abrupt

Until she met Mister William Main
A man who scouted the western plain
He was a man of integrity and honour
Did not eat the guided like expedition Donner

So Ingrid and William were wed
Wild and passionate was their marriage bed
Ingrid felt glad that she had come west
For the man she landed was one of the best

-A Wild West narrative poem
Written by Christopher
Friday August 19th

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