Pan Goatee Beheads Fat Ugly Blimps Possessed By The Spirit of Spider Grandmother

August 3, 2022 at 9:29 pm (Aesthetics, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

Pan Goatee was given a ring by the Demon Buffalo that was able to detect individuals that were possessed by the spirit of Spider Grandmother a goddess who ate naughty children according to Navajo folklore.

Earlier this afternoon Pan Goatee was out walking when a fat ugly blimp crossing an intersection tried to walk in front of him.

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

The incident was recorded on camera by a Jesuit spy for the Vatican.

However there was no indication according to the Demon Buffalo ring that the now beheaded and dismembered fat ugly white blimp was possessed by the spirit of Spider Grandmother.

This evening Pan Goatee was at a grocery store buying bread and cold cuts.

He was in line at the till when a couple of fat ugly aboriginal blimps came behind him.

“Good thing for them that they’re behind me,” Pan Goatee thought to himself.

However one of the airheaded fat ugly blimps took her cart and moved in front of Pan Goatee.

So Pan beheaded her with his astral laser machete and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Her airheaded fat ugly blimp friend did the same with her cart getting in front of Pan Goatee.

So the satyr likewise beheaded this rude fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

The Demon Buffalo ring (given to Pan by the demon buffalo of Buffalo Lake and Lac Ste. Anne) glowed a fiery red and a startling green indicating that both fat ugly aboriginal blimps had been possessed by the spirit of Spider Grandmother (a goddess who had been invoked last week by a First Nations shaman at the Citadel in Quebec City when the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio and some of his Canadian bishops and cardinals had been present).

This incident was likewise recorded on camera by a Jesuit spy for the Vatican.

Pan then waited at a bus stop for his neighbourhood bus to show up.

As he was waiting at the bus stop, a fat ugly aboriginal blimp and her low IQ moronic aboriginal boyfriend showed up.

The Demon Buffalo ring flashed a fiery red and a startling green indicating that the fat ugly blmp was possessed by the spirit of Spider Grandmother.

So Pan beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

The ring also indicated that the low IQ aboriginal male was possessed by a demon of stupidity – a demon that seemed to possess the vast majority of white and aboriginal males in the City of Calgary.

Surprisingly the demon of stupidity did not seem to affect East Asian, South Asian, Southeast Asian, African and Caribbean or Latino males.

Thus this demon of stupidity was obviously guilty of racial profiling and should be hauled in front of a politically correct and very “woke” human rights commission.

Likewise a demon of ugliness seemed to affect a very large and vast number of white and aboriginal females in the City of Calgary but not many East Asian, South Asian, Southeast Asian, African and Caribbean or Latina females.

So the demon of ugliness was likewise obviously guilty of racial profiling and should be hauled in front of a politically correct and very “woke” human rights commission.

The bus arrived and Goatee boarded it.

Three bus stops down a fat ugly white blimp with pink and purple coloured hair boarded the bus.

The pink and purple hair did absolutely nothing to improve the fat ugly blimp’s appearance.

So the satyr beheaded the pink and purple hair coloured fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

There was no indication that this fat ugly blimp was possessed by the spirit of Spider Grandmother.

But the Jesuit spy for the Vatican recorded the incident anyways.

Back at the Vatican, Pope Francis issued a statement expressing his concern that fat ugly blimps possessed by the spirit of Spider Grandmother were being beheaded and dismembered by Pan Goatee.

Some practical joker in one of the Vatican departments translated the papal statement into Latin and posted it on-line almost causing the pontiff to have an aneurysm.

-A vampire novel chapter
written Wednesday August 3rd
2022.

2 Comments

  1. Hetty Eliot said,

    Is spider-grandmother the Western Grandma? Someone suggested that Western Grandma might be Nancy Pelosi.

  2. Dracul Van Helsing said,

    LOL ! @ Nancy Pelosi being Western Grandmother.

    Yes in my previous blog post to this I explained how Western Grandmother is the Spider Grandmother of Hopi, Zuma, Navajo and Pueblo folklore and the Great Mother Goddess of the pre-Columbian civilization of Teotihuacan.

    She was also called Toci Yoalticitl (“Our Grandmother The Nocturnal Physician”) by the Aztecs being an Aztec earth goddess who inhabited the sweatbath.

    She was called Ixchel by the Mayas (she appears as a supposedly good alien being in New Age writer Madeleine L’engle’s book A Wrinkle In Time) and she has 4 symbols in 4 different colours – red, white, black and yellow which are associated with the 4 different segments of the Universe.

    The name Ixchel means “Rainbow Woman” which is probably why the sodomites and transgenders adopted the rainbow as their symbol and why Pope Francis’ Vatican is so prone to displaying the Pride rainbow with its peculiar colours (which are not really the same colours as the rainbow in the sky- symbol of the covenant between God and man after the Flood).

    Interestingly enough on her head she wore a serpent and the pattern on her skirt was of bones in the form of a Cross.

    Which says a lot about the direction Francis’ Vatican will be going after this Huron shaman’s “blessing” in Quebec City.

    The serpent will be their head and they’ll be killing true Christians.

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