Joe Biden Asked To Perform An Agamemnon

August 31, 2022 at 10:57 pm (Art History, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Literature, Mythology, News, Politics, Science, Technology, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Artemis being serenaded by musicians who were brought to life from a mural painting

“Who is Aeschylus?” Vice-President Kamala Harris asked one of her aides.

“He was an ancient Greek playwright who lived from approximately 525 BC to 456 BC and is believed to have written anywhere from 70 to 90 plays,” her aide answered, “He is considered the Father of Tragedy. In fact his ghost is believed to have written the recent Inflation Reduction Act. In fact on the night of April 4th 1968, Bobby Kennedy quoted from Aeschylus while addressing Afro-American voters in Indianapolis, Indiana when he had to break the tragic news to them that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King had been assassinated. The Aeschylus quote was this:

“Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.”
-Aeschylus

“What were some of his plays?” Kamala asked.

“Well he once wrote a trilogy of plays about the family of King Agamemnon of Mycenae the fellow who commanded the Greeks during the Trojan War,” her aide replied, “The trilogy was called The Oresteia named after Orestes who was a son of King Agamemnon.”

“Rather ironic you should be talking about The Oresteia,” remarked a leading high-ranking NASA official as he walked by on his way to the Oval Office to see Joe Biden.

“Ironic? How so?” Kamala inquired.

“That’s on a need to know basis and you don’t need to know,” the NASA official replied.

The FBI agent accompanying the NASA official was a Neo-Bolshevik Communist (like most FBI agents are these days) and did not understand the classical allusions that were being thrown around.

This entire scene was part of a dream (or was it a vision?) being seen by Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises Laboratories in London, England.

The name of the high-ranking NASA official was Dr. Nachash Naga.

He was on an important mission for NASA.

The Artemis 1 moon rocket was supposed to have been launched this past Monday August 29th 2022 but then something happened and the launch was postponed until this Saturday September 3rd 2022.

But even that might be postponed further because of new information that had come up.

Unless…

“Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga addressed the Pooper-In-Chief, “We need you to do something for us.”

“Glad to oblige,” Biden ate a piece of Ex-Lax.

“Mr. President, we have a problem and it isn’t Houston,” Dr. Nachash Naga explained, “Do you remember last fall when you went deer hunting?”.

“Um, I don’t actually,” answered the Pooper-In-Chief who suffered from dementia.

“Well, you shot and killed a deer,” Dr. Nachash Naga pointed out.

“Good for me,” Joe Biden grinned.

“Well that turned out to be a bad thing, Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga hissed, “It turned out that the deer you shot and killed was a deer sacred to the Greek goddess Artemis.”

“Who is Artemis?” Joe Biden looked at a photo of the Belvedere Apollo and wondered if he should invite the sculpted statue to join his cabinet.

“Artemis was the Greek goddess of the hunt and wild animals as well as the Greek goddess of the moon,” Dr. Nachash Naga flashed his incisors, “and as a result of your killing that deer sacred to her, she is preventing the Artemis 1 rocket from being launched.”

“So, what can I do about it?” Joe Biden scratched his diaper rash.

“Well when King Agamemnon of Mycenae slew and killed a deer sacred to Artemis and the goddess prevented the Greek fleet from sailing towards Troy as punishment, Agamemnon was forced to sacrifice his daughter Iphigenia to Artemis to appease her wrath.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Biden put on Kamala Harris’ high school Dunce cap.

“We want you to sacrifice your daughter to Artemis in the next couple of days to appease her wrath so we can get the Artemis 1 moon rocket launched this coming Saturday,” Dr. Nachash Naga began filing his fingernails.

“Can I sniff her hair before I sacrifice her?” Joe Biden asked.

“Of course, Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga looked exasperated.

“Wait,” Joe Biden suddenly had a moment of clarity after taking a Claritin tablet, “Jill might be rather pissed at me if I sacrifice Ashley.”

“Joe, I have a suggestion,” Barack Obama delivered his instructions into Joe’s earpiece as he always did, “Did you ever have any extra marital affairs?”.

“I can’t remember,” Joe was trying to remember the tune of the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memory.

“Well ask some of your FBI agents to stop sifting through Donald Trump’s underwear and try to track down any extra marital affairs you might have had and any children you might have had particularly girls,” Obama explained, “Then you can sacrifice that daughter from an extra marital affair.”

“Gee, I wonder if any are still alive,” Biden picked his nose, “This is one occasion when I wish I hadn’t been so gung ho for abortion.”

“Just send out the FBI, Joe,” Obama barked, “Find any surviving daughters from those extra marital affairs and just do the damned sacrifice. We’ve got to get to the moon before Vladimir Putin and Jackie Gleason’s wife Alice do.”

Meanwhile in Hunter Biden’s room, he was being visited by the ghost of a beautiful young Greek girl named Electra.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 31st
2022.

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25 Comments

  1. David Redpath said,

    It’s such a pity Artemis isn’t willing
    to accept a son as a fitting sacrifice,
    but then Hunter Biden couldn’t really
    be described as “fitting”, unless he’s
    having a cocaine induced fit πŸ‘ƒπŸ€”πŸ•ΆοΈ

  2. voodooville said,

    From http://redefininggod.com/
    You can tell that occultism was afoot in today’s attempted launch of Artemis 1 not only by the mission’s name, but also by the scheduled launch time: 8:33. Why wasn’t it scheduled for 8:30? Why the need to include the Masonic master number 33?

  3. voodooville said,

    Bill Gates likes the Inflation Reduction Act, so there must be something pathologically wrong with it.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Wow.

      Bill Gates likes the Inflation Reduction Act? 😱

      There definitely must be something pathologically wrong with it.

  4. Chado said,

    It’s all Greek to me, bro…

    Hey– you might like this:

    https://connecthook.net/2020/04/30/idylls-of-the-careless-hunt/

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you for the link.

      It’s an excellent poem.

      And it’s all Latin to Pope Francis.

      Which is why he will ignore it.

  5. Hyperion said,

    I blew blueberry and mushroom muffin bits all over my screen reading this. Pooper-in-Chief, waaa haaa haaaa! Love the humor as the plot unfolds. And the voice of a Obama was so on point. Excellent story. 🎭

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you, Daniel. πŸ˜€

      • Hyperion said,

        You keep me smiling Chris. I do appreciate your effort.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thank you, Daniel.

        That’s much appreciated.

        Calgary municipal politics, Alberta provincial politics and Canadian Federal politics seem to be going insane simultaneously at the moment.

        So I must write a vampire novel to maintain my sanity.

        It’s nice to know these efforts are not in vain.

        Vampiresses may be in vein but not in vain.

      • Hyperion said,

        I believe the vampiresses are the ethereal source of finding balance in our insanity. I have come to believe that even Set Enterprises alone can’t fix us. Set needs the vampiresses and especially Sherrielock Holmes to hold humanity together with equal shares of enforced discipline and lust. I’ll say their name because I prefer the bite to the red hot riding crop. πŸ˜‰

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        You like to be able to sit down once in a while. πŸ˜‰

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes indeed, standing up at the fireplace mantel to eat dinner after a hard tomatoed buns experience is rough on the feet. Naturally, evil doers would seek to be more moderately crooked for a chance at sitting down more often.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Flawless logic there. πŸ™‚

      • Hyperion said,

        πŸ€ͺπŸ’­ and I thunk it up on my own.

  6. Jessica said,

    I can’t laughing after reading Biden shooting the deer haha πŸ˜‚ and there’s actually such a thing as ex-lax? My stomach hurts. 🀣

    But before that I searched The Oresteia to know if it’s real and I end up reading a lot about it. Haha

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, there is a laxative product in North America called Ex-Lax. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      Hope you enjoyed reading about The Oresteia. πŸ™‚

      • Jessica said,

        Yeah it was fun to read about it, but now I’m curious of the book itself, however, I doubt I can read it haha

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The Oresteia is a trilogy made up of three plays.

        And each of the plays is in very short book form.

        Each book was smaller and not as many pages as my book The Giant Rat of Sumatra if you’ve read that.

        Each play moves very quickly and is quite action packed.

      • Jessica said,

        Oh….

        The Giant Rat of Sumatra yet, but I’ve seen the page count

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, The Giant Rat of Sumatra is more of a novella than a novel.

      • Jessica said,

        I’ll set aside a time to read it one day πŸ™‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks, Jessica. πŸ™‚

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