Svetlana Kireeva, Vladimir Putin and The Mysterious Horn In Byzantium

September 21, 2022 at 11:37 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Russian vampiress and FSB agent Svetlana Kireeva awaits the launch of a nuclear missile which would be fired from a secret location in Moscow

Earlier in the day, Russian President Vladimir Putin announced on Russian national television that he would be mobilizing 300,000 reservists in an effort to save his would-be Neo-Imperialist Czarist ass in Ukraine.

To the right of Putin stood the ghost of the late U.S. President LBJ.

“Well scratch my ass and think about Israel,” LBJ laughed, “It looks like Ukraine is turning into Russia’s Vietnam.”

In the corner of the room sat the ghost of Jim Morrison weeping in a chair.

“Why,” Morrison sobbed, “of all the ghost stories in all the world did I first have to appear in one written by the world’s most boring author Phil Huston?”.

To the left of Morrison’s ghost was a holographic image of Alice Cooper who was committing hari kari with the pointy end of his mace for the same reason that Morrison’s ghost sat sobbing in a chair.

It was the first time that Russian reservists had been called up since the Second World War.

As Putin’s face was sprayed by a whole bunch of ghostly spectral holographic blood issuing forth from the intestines of the well hari-karied ghostly spectral holographic image of Alice Cooper who was busy singing his last ever hit Farewll To My Nightmare, Putin announced that he would be using nuclear weapons against the West.

To that end, Russian vampiress and FSB agent Svetlana Kireeva received a text message from Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit secret agent Miranda Singh asking if the two of them could meet in Stockholm Sweden in an effort to prevent global nuclear war.

. . .

Senile old fool Joe Biden was meeting with one of his advisors after the Irish Celtic demon Balor Biden’s speech to the UN General Assembly.

“Mr. President,” his advisor advised, “Regarding Putin’s threatened use of nuclear weapons, you have a secret personal weapon of your own to use in your dealings with Mr. Putin.”

“I do? And what secret personal weapon of my own would that be?” Biden asked as he broke wind and then let loose with a bowel movement.

The advisor was unable to answer Biden’s question as he immediately dropped dead from sulphurous exhaust fumes.

. . .

The Byzantine Emperor Justinian I was sitting on his throne in Constantinople in the year 537 AD when an envoy from Arthur King of the Britons appeared.

“Your Imperial Majesty, your noble ally Arthur King of the Britons is dead after having been slain by his evil son Mordred at the Battle of Camlann,” the envoy stated, “His repentant half-sister Morgan le Fay wants you to have this.”

“What is it?” Justinian asked.

“It’s the horn of Arthur’s personal Unicorn,” the envoy explained, “A Unicorn that was slain by Mordred the evil son of Arthur King of the Britons and Morgan le Fay.”

“Let me see,” the beautiful Byzantine Empress Theodora rose from her throne.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 21st
2022.

10 Comments

  1. George F. said,

    Weaponized farts. Cryptic messages to you on other people’s blogs. Meaty, fleshy legs of a Russian Vampiress. Digging it all.

  2. Hyperion said,

    Well, you’d think by now, I would know better than to read your latest vampire chapter without my quart-sized spray bottle of magic mushroom cleaner. This time I was stuffing my face with a delicious blend of rolled oats, raisins, sliced almonds, with cinnamon, cocoa, and oat milk. I skipped along in amusement until I got to the senile old Joe Biden scene and as he knocked over his assistant with a sulfurous blow and sploosh-splut-splut sound in his depends, I blew the contents of my partially chewed late night snack all over the damn place. My guffaw reflex nearly drowned me and my iPad. Bro, you crack me up so hard.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I hope your iPad enjoyed what sounds like a delicious combination of rolled oats, raisins, sliced almonds, cinnamon, cocoa and oat milk. 💻😋

      • Hyperion said,

        It wasn’t the wipe and go experience I prefer. More like scrape and scrub. 😆

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL ! 🤣

  3. David Redpath said,

    I just hope that the ghost of the late
    U.S. President LBJ. doesn’t have cause
    to say, “It looks like Taiwan is turning
    into China’s Ukraine.”!
    Come to think of it, wasn’t Afghanistan
    Russia’s Vietnam … before it became
    America’s Vietnam (again) ?! 🤔
    When will they ever learn?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, like the song Where Have All The Flowers Gone? says, “When will they ever learn?”.

      Say, David, I left two different comments on your Reign On Me post.

      I know when I posted them, they never showed up which is strange.

      Usually it says Your Comment Awaits Moderation.

      But nothing.

      And I got no notification of a Like or Reply from you.

      Maybe they’ve ended up in Spam with Uncle Ernie’s United Jewish Appeal newsletter.

      • David Redpath said,

        Just checked, Christopher.
        Yes, you’ve been spammed!!!
        Interesting that the only people
        my spam file feels the need to
        filter out are those brave souls
        the system would consider a
        danger to world order 🤔 🕶️

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I guess I’m a danger to the New World Order so my comments are being monitored. 🤔🕶

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