Dr. Marmalade Montague Investigates Causes of Sulphuric Explosions

September 28, 2022 at 11:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dr. Marmalade Montague was a scientist who worked at Set Enterprises in London.

Even though he had no official background in science.

He had owned a bakery in Paris that went out of business during the 2020 plandemic lockdown under the orders of France’s Neo-Vichy tyrant Emmanuel Macron.

Still Marmalade Montague knew more about science than most of the so-called health “experts” who dispensed bad advice by the manure filled truckload during the plandemic of 2020-2021.

Dr. Marmalade Montague’s current project was investigating the causes of sulphurous explosions.

For this purpose he had sent Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was the son of Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom) to the Yellowstone Caldera Supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park to pick up a sample of sulphurous contents bubbling up from the ground.

While Yaldabaoth was there using a baby bottle to pick up a sample from one of the bubbling craters, the crater had a major explosion.

Luckily for Yaldabaoth, being a leprechaun, he was immortal so the explosion didn’t kill him.

However it did put a dent into his plans to spend a night at the Moonlite BunnyRanch in Nevada as he could hardly go into the place smelling like rotten eggs.

The explosion did however kill a sasquatch who was walking by.

The sasquatch was currently in the process of litigation (a major lawsuit) against the man codenamed PH Unbalanced by Britain’s MI-6 Agency and the man considered the world’s most boring author.

The world’s most boring author had written a novel claiming that this sasquatch had murdered the world’s most boring sheriff’s deputy.

The claim was in fact true but what the sasquatch objected to was being written about and included as a character in a novel that was so unbelievably colossally boring.

He hadn’t been able to get a date since the novel was published as most female sasquatch and even a few gay, bisexual and transgendered sasquatch considered him too boring to date.

The sasquatch had gone to a City of Laramie Wyoming law firm to launch a lawsuit against the world’s most boring author PH Unbalanced filing the claim that “being included as a character in the world’s most boring novel written by the world’s most boring author had totally ruined his sex life”.

Now as a result of the sulphurous explosion, the sasquatch was dead.

Yaldabaoth after several months of showering would be able to have a sex life again.

The poor sasquatch being dead could not.

Dr. Marmalade Montague was also investigating the cause of Joe Biden’s sulphurous bowel movements alluded to into final (and end of life) reports written by some of the world’s late top secret agents in spy agencies.

For that, Dr. Marmalade Montague was using the visions of Michelangelo the psychic lobster.

Apparently back on January 28th 2021 (7 days after Biden was inaugurated having successfully stolen the 2020 U.S. Presidential election), senile old Joe had been invited to speak at a United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City in March of that year.

He was not to be the number one speaker however.

He was to be the number two speaker (which was appropriate for Joe).

The number one speaker was to be the well known Jewish Rastafarian and self described “independent pharmaceutical manufacturer” from Australia known by the popular moniker of Uncle Ernie (assuming of course that Uncle Ernie wouldn’t be in jail in Australia “drummed up on some nefarious charges brought against him by the government” as Uncle Ernie would put it).

The fallen archangel Mephistopheles (who was one of Joe Biden’s 3 supernatural advisors along with Baal and Baphomet) had recommended to Joe that he send someone to try to find the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and bring them to the U.S. for Joe Biden to eat the remains prior to giving his number two speech to the United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City.

The Gadarene swine of course had been possessed by the demons known as Legion and had been sent by Jesus Christ into the swine after Jesus had successfully exorcised a man known as the Gadarene demoniac.

The swine then charged into the Sea of Galilee.

Thus acting on orders from Joe Biden, the American Deep State set about to recover the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

Israeli Mossad agent Anna Chador to a Tel Aviv based scuba diver: “Would you be able to dive to the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and see if the remains of the Gadarene swine are still down there and if they are to bring them up to the surface?”.

He: Yes.

Unfortunately for Biden and Mephistopheles, those agencies associated with the American Deep State such as the CIA were having a top secret convention at Area 51 (remember this was the time of the plandemic and everything and everyone was supposed to be in lockdown) and the treats at this top secret convention were Australian Uncle Ernie’s independently made pharmaceuticals.

Thus after the convention, the CIA were in no shape whatsoever to go looking for the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

However there were plenty of reports of sightings of UFOs and ETs at Area 51 after this convention.

Thus the spaced-out CIA outsourced the mission to the Israeli Mossad.

The task was assigned to one of Israel’s top female agents Anna Chador and after consulting with a Tel Aviv based scuba diver, a deep sea mission was undertaken and the Gadarene Swine were found perfectly preserved at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

The bodies were raised from the depths and then flown to Washington DC.

Hell’s Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsay was brought in to cook the remains at the White House.

He made pork chops out of them which he topped with his famous homemade Sriracha laced apple sauce.

Joe Biden ate all of the Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce leaving the other guests at dinner hungry and awestruck at the senile old fool’s ravenous appetite.

The Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce remained fully stuck in Joe Biden’s intestines and could never be removed (something the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles knew would happen).

The direct result of the Gadarene swine pork chops and Sriracha laced homemade apple sauce being forever stuck in Biden’s intestines would be that he would always have sulphurous explosive bowel movements.

It was fortunate that the New York Chapter of the United Jewish Appeal decided to have their dinner and speeches via Zoom due to the plandemic.

The secret service agents guarding Biden on the night of his United Jewish Appeal Zoom dinner speech were not so lucky.

In an effort to boost the profits of the pharmaceutical manufacturing investments of one Dr. Anthony Fauci, the cause of the secret service agents’ deaths was listed as Covid rather than sulphurous fumes.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 28th



  1. Hyperion said,

    Thus the apt acronym of the WEF frontman POOTUS was assigned to the Blast-phemer in Chief as he issued sulpherous orders randomly in the Ogle Office and at public gatherings where he mumbles incoherent spells of evil followed by a punctuating bloop-sploosh. While DARPA had invented blast resistant Depends, budget cutbacks resulted in a Chinese made low cost elastic leg bands that leaked with the unexpected consequence of sulperous fumes that were possessed by evil nanite graphene particles that infested the unsuspecting victims turning them into extreme ultra far left Karens of ill repute.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      This explains the state of modern America today. 🤔

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, we are making history now titled the death of an empire.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And it will end with the ghost of Gerald R. Ford appearing and saying, “Our long period of national disembowelment is over.”

      • Hyperion said,

        Death can be a friend and sometimes an only friend. I ponder long and hard If we deserve a second chance to try again.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The question then becomes who will be the 21st Century Odoacer who takes over America?

      • Hyperion said,

        It must certainly be a gay cabelero that somehow slipped past Pan Goatee’s ever watching eye for aesthetics.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think you’re right, Daniel.

      • Hyperion said,

        I’ve read that one must hit rock bottom and choose suicide or transformation to escape the muck at the bottom of the scrotum pole. I think America must also hit the bottom and choose implosion or transformation. The unavoidable truth is the millions of government workers are a cross section of the population and as the people go, so goes the government. It’s a terribly inconvenient truth.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        As opposed to one of Al Gore’s convenient lies on behalf of the Gaia worshipping global elites.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think Al Gore was a butt puppet rumored to have Anal Schwab’s WEF forum as the hand pulling the strings. I believe after he invented the internet he went straight to inventing climate change.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think you’re absolutely right, Daniel.

  2. George F. said,

    “PH Unbalanced by Britain’s MI-6 Agency and the man considered the world’s most boring author…” And on and on you went establishing the new 007 villian…the world’s more boring author depopulates the planet…not with a bang or a virus, but with a snooze no one wakes up from due to reading only the first line of his novel…
    OMG made my morning! LOL!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Glad you enjoyed it, my friend. 😀

      Yes, instead of Death By Chocolate, it’s Death By Boredom.

      The next James Bond movie to come out in which 007 battles PH Unbalanced this new villain from the sleeping SPECTRE organization will be entitled FOR YOUR INSOMNIA ONLY.

      • George F. said,

        Perfect! LOL!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Bob Dylan will sing the movie’s theme song entitled Sleepin’ In The Wind (released 50 years after his hit Blowin’ In The Wind).

      • George F. said,

        LOL! The t.v. commercial is great too. Just a little old lady screaming “Help! I’ve fallen asleep and I can’t wake up!”

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        ROTFLMFAO ! 😅😂🤣

      • George F. said,

        …and I knew you’d like that!!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, a parody of those old 1980s commercials for Life Call Medic Alert systems.

  3. David Redpath said,

    Yes, Uncle Ernie is renowned
    for his oratory. He honed his
    craft (so to speak) over many
    years with his Drag Queen
    extravaganza, ‘Let me Ophelia
    & Hamlet You’. His performance
    as Rosencrantz rosining his bow
    with Guildenstern never failed to
    bring the house down …
    and the Vice Squad running.

  4. David Redpath said,

    What a coincidence, Christopher!
    One of Uncle Ernie’s best selling
    ‘Drug of the Day’ is his ‘Porcine Dream
    of Bliss from the Abyss’. It’s popularity
    is a testament to the legion of Uncle
    Ernie’s loyal customers.

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