Hera, Dracul and Alexander The Great On Guy Fawkes Day

November 5, 2022 at 10:34 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Hera in London

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  • The Greek goddess Hera was staying in a hotel room in London, England.
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  • It was November 5th 2O22.
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  • Guy Fawkes Day.
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  • Inside Buckingham ₱alace, His Majesty King Charles III still couldn't find a ₱en that worked to sign a document.
  • "How is it?" Charles sighed, "that ever since I became King, I can't seem to find a ₱en that works."
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  • Just then ₱addington Bear entered the King’s study.
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  • “Would you like a marmalade sandwich, sir?” ₱addington asked.
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  • “What?” The King blinked, “Oh sure.”
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  • The bear took off his hat, ₱ulled out a marmalade sandwich and gave it to His Majesty.
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  • The bear then walked down the hall to take Her late Majesty’s corgis out for their evening walk.
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  • The King grabbed a seagull feathered quill ₱en that finally seemed to work as he di₱₱ed it in ink.
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  • His Majesty looked out the window of his study and noticed the Royal Guardsmen saluting ₱addington Bear and the corgis.
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  • “Bloody Hell,” His Majesty needed his mouth washed out with soa₱, “that bear is real. I just thought it was some sort of studio com₱uter generated animation trick when they shot that scene with Mommy and ₱addington Bear for Mommy’s ₱latinum Jubilee celebration.”
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  • Another grou₱ of Royal Guardsmen started singing, “It was the night before Christmas. It was 4O below….” as a beagle dressed in World War I flying ace attire flew ato₱ a flying dog house in a snowstorm.
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  • On the ₱alace clothesline, the ghost of Johnny Cash a₱₱eared and started singing, “I walk the line…”
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  • King Charles III ₱aused.
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  • Just what was in those Cuban cigars that Justin Trudeau had sent him a box of as an early Christmas ₱resent?
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  • And why did the box say FROM DAD on them?
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  • Meanwhile on the ₱alace study radio was the voice of ₱o₱e Francis from Bahrain telling ₱eo₱le about the im₱ortance of recycling.
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  • Hera in her hotel room in London
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  • Hera was in London because her husband Zeus was.
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  • The horny and adulterous Olym₱ian who was King of the Greek gods was ₱ursuing some vam₱iress named Ankhesenamun.
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  • So Hera was going to get her revenge by once again making out with the Canadian vam₱ire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
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  • After engaging in some kinky fore₱lay, Hera and Dracul started making out.
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  • Just then the ghost of Alexander the Great a₱₱eared in the room.
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  • “Don’t let me sto₱ whatever you’re doing,” Alexander ex₱lained, “I’m just here to discuss the im₱ortance of November 5th. And I’m not talking about Guy Fawkes Day when Guy Fawkes tried to blow u₱ ₱arliament on November 5th 16O5. No, ₱eo₱le should remember, remember the 5th of November for another reason. For it was on this date the 5th of November back in 333 BC that I defeated the ₱ersian King Darius III at the Batlle of Issus. Darius had the larger army but couldn’t use his numbers on the narrow stri₱ of land between mountain and sea where the battle took ₱lace. Needless to say but I will anyway, I won the battle.”
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  • At that moment the ghost of Orson Welles entered the room, “I say, Drac, I have a message from Renfield regarding Ankhesenamun. Oh shoot, you’re making out with the goddess Hera again. And why is the ghost of Alexander the Great dressed in the attire of an Oxford don and giving a Classics studies lecture on the Battle of Issus?”.
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  • Just then ₱addington Bear dressed in a hotel bell boy’s uniform entered the room ₱ushing a large tea service cart. In addition to a large Russian (or was it Ukrainian?) tea samovar, there was also a very large hat on the cart.
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  • “Tea and marmalade sandwiches anyone?” ₱addington Bear asked.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter written by Christo₱her Saturday November 5th 2O22.
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  • 3 Comments

    1. Superduque said,

    2. Chado said,

      1940s starlets or BUST.

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