Morgana On An Early March Evening
The Welsh Vampiress Morgana in a forest on an early March evening
Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was wandering through an English forest on an early March evening.
He had a crossbow in hand and a bunch of silver arrows in a pouch on his back.
There were reports of a demonically possessed elk in the forest.
The elk had apparently been given to Justin Welby the ArchHeretic of Sodom and Gomorrah (although his official title was Archbishop of Canterbury) by Joe Biden’s cabinet for his efforts in getting Baphomet approved Alphabet Soup Community sexual practices accepted by the Church of England and the global Anglican Community.
The elk was an animal now extinct in Britain.
So Biden’s cabinet thought that putting an a-sexual non-binary gender confused elk from the U.S. Democratic Party stronghold state of Colorado into the British Isles as a gift to ArchHeretic Welby would somehow magically replenish the elk population.
When ArchHeretic Welby was presented the gift by gender confused Rachel Somebody Or Other (an Assistant Secretary of Something or Other in Biden’s cabinet), the elk had a cassette tape recorder around his/her/its neck which when you pushed a button on it, a voice came on that said, “I’m Joe Biden and I approve this present 🎁.”
The elk had apparently become demonically possessed after using a Ouija board to swear its allegiance to the demon Baphomet.
It had escaped from Welby’s country ecclesial episcopal palace and was now terrorizing native British deer 🦌 in a nearby forest.
After consulting a rare volume on Demonic Possession of Animals written by the Rev. Father Montague Summers, the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds (who was Amadeus Emanon’s parish priest and Vicar) had told Dracul Van Helsing that the only way to rid the world of a demonically possessed elk was to kill it with a silver arrow.
So Van Helsing was now going through the forest with his crossbow and silver arrows when he came upon this sight:
Van Helsing put down his crossbow and silver arrows and proceeded to climb the fallen tree and make out with the Welsh Vampiress Morgana (who was a member of the British Parliament from the constituency of Newbridge In Wales 🏴 and a British Arthurian Party parliamentary colleague of British MP Renfield R. Renfield who represented Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds).
As Van Helsing and Morgana made wild passionate love on the fallen tree, the demonically possessed elk walked by.
The elk used its antlers (thus indicating that the elk was a biologically born male who only became gender confused after attending U.S. Democratic Party sessions on the party’s future wildlife strategy) to attack a possible candidate for the future leadership of the Scottish Nationalist Party.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 3rd
2023.
Dracul Van Helsing 
Suma Reddy said,
March 3, 2023 at 11:55 pm
Pictures perfect post ❣👌
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 4, 2023 at 12:00 am
Thank you, Suma. ❣️🙏
David Redpath said,
March 5, 2023 at 4:27 pm
Now that you mention it, Christopher,
Uncle Ernie is currently in Scotland on a
top secret mission. He’s there to present
Nicola Sturgeon with a complimentary
life membership of “Uncle Ernie’s Drug of
the Day Club”. Also, he intends to bestow
upon Nicola the gift of immortality for
her tireless efforts on behalf of Scottish
independence. Apparently, by sucking
a small amount of Uncle Ernie’s blood
his supernaturally unatural longevity is
passed on to the aforementioned sucker.
Uncle Ernie’s big secret, or should I say …
small secret, is where he intends Nicola
to suck it from?
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 5, 2023 at 8:09 pm
ROTFLMFAO !
Small secret indeed. 😂
As Lady MacBeth would have commented when her husband asked, “Is this a dagger 🗡️ I see before me?”, she’d have replied, “Much ado about nothing.” Which interestingly enough was the title of another of Shakespeare’s plays.
David Redpath said,
March 5, 2023 at 8:31 pm
‘Tis better to give than receive …
is Uncle Ernie’s motto, as he isn’t
equipt to screw hardly anything
of substance to the sticking place 🪛
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 5, 2023 at 9:02 pm
I imagine Uncle Ernie has trouble screwing in a lightbulb.
David Redpath said,
March 6, 2023 at 12:27 am
Indeed Christopher. Whenever Uncle
Ernie needs a lightbulb 💡 changed
he always stands at the bottom of
the ladder 🪜 supervising 👀 whilst
holding the legs steady … his legs
that is, as he always seems to get
rather excited when someone,
anyone, is up his creaky old ladder 🤔
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 6, 2023 at 2:22 pm
ROTFL 🤣.