Artemis In The Wild

March 30, 2023 at 8:07 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, love, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Artemis, Dracul Van Helsing, Exquisite Greek Goddess Artemis, Greek goddess Artemis, The Canadian Vampire Hunter Dracul Van Helsing, The Ghost of Orson Welles, The Greek goddess Artemis)

Greek goddess Artemis in front of a small creek waterfall

“I don’t think there are any fish in this creek are there?” The ghost of Orson Welles asked as they trudged up the rocky walk of the trickling creek.

“No, this water really isn’t deep enough for fish,” Dracul Van Helsing answered.

“Then why were the fishermen who reported sirens (the women of mythology who inhabit waters and draw sailors and fishermen to their deaths) fishing here?” Welles asked.

“I think they’re heavy cannabis users and imagined fish in this trickling stream,” Van Helsing replied.

“Then couldn’t they have imagined seeing a siren as well?” Welles pulled a spectral bottle of spectral red wine 🍷 out of his spectral picnic 🧺 basket and poured himself a glass.

“Yes, that is my Sherlockian analysis as well,” Dracul agreed, “Yet when Paddington Bear called me to say that His Majesty King Charles III was concerned about the possibility of sirens being in a stream he occasionally likes to wander and roam, Paddington asked to make sure there are no sirens present.”

“Is that why you’ve brought along your crossbow and silver arrows?” Welles asked as he ate a spectrally large chicken 🍗 drumstick.

“Exactly,” Van Helsing nodded.

“Couldn’t you just make out with a siren the same way you usually make out with a Vampiress or goddess?” Welles delicately wiped his spectral beard with his spectral napkin.

“Well, judging from Odysseus’ experience mentioned in Homer’s Odyssey, sirens are quite deadly and can’t be messed with,” Van Helsing took a sip of ale from his canteen, “and the stories of the Lorelei who sits and sings atop a rock in the Rhine River of Germany had the same deadly effect on sailors there according to legend, poem and folk song.”

“How did the sirens come to be?” Welles asked.

“Well according to the 1st Book of Enoch,” Dracul recounted, “The women who had sex with the Watcher angels and bore giants in the earth before Noah’s Flood came, they were turned into sirens.”

“Maybe you should have worn an angel costume,” Welles speculated aloud.

“Now you tell me,” Dracul smiled.

Suddenly Dracul and Welles heard a lovely singing coming from further up the trickling stream.

They climbed up and encountered the Greek goddess Artemis.

“That’s no siren,” Dracul smiled, “That’s the goddess Artemis.”

Welles’ ghost was reminded of a story Renfield R. Renfield had related about Bill Clinton when he was Governor of Arkansas. The governor had been seen checking into a cheap out of the way motel with some woman and the next day Clinton was asked, “Who was that lady you were with last night?” and Clinton replied, “That was no lady. That was my wife.”

In the meantime, Dracul Van Helsing was making out with the Greek goddess Artemis.

“Maybe we should have run into a siren,” Welles sighed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 30th
2023.

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