Atlantis
In fathoms deep
In the deep blue sea 🌊
She lies
Atlantis
The lost city
Louis Alphonse Cousteau
Great nephew of Jacques Cousteau
Was looking for her
Atlantis
Financed by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set
Cousteau sailed the submarine The Amphitrite to depths
Never before seen
And there she was
In front of Louis Alphonse Cousteau
And the entire Amphitrite crew
Atlantis
The mermaid 🧜♀️ Ionela appeared in front of the sub
“Away!” “Away!” She said
“For this is where the Kraken sleeps.”
“Which Kraken?” Cousteau asked.
“Zeus’ kraken,” Ionela answered.
“What is the name of Zeus’ kraken?”
Cousteau inquired.
“Phobos Maximus,” Ionela replied.
“Let us leave this place,”
Cousteau said to his crew,
“Let sleeping Krakens lie.”
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 31st
2023.
Princess Ankhesenamun and The Ashes of Judas Iscariot
The Egyptian vampire Princess Ankhesenamun (the wife and half-sister of the Boy King Pharaoh Tutankhamen) in contemporary dress at an archaeological dig in modern Israel
The Egyptian vampire Princess Ankhesenamun had accompanied the vampire archaeologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury (who was the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s personal archaeologist) on an archaeological dig in Israel.
Even though Israeli police had clashed with Palestinian demonstrators at the Al-Aqsa Mosque on the Temple Mount in East Jerusalem for two days straight this week, even though Hamas had fired rockets on Israel from both Gaza and Lebanon, even though Israel had retaliated with missile strikes of its own, even though 2 young female British nationals had been shot to death in their car by terrorists, even though the Middle East seemed to be going up in flames 🔥, Princess Ankhesenamun was hoping to spend her Friday night dancing at a nightclub in Tel Aviv once Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury had finished his archaeological dig for the day.
Princess Ankhesenamun waiting for Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury to finish his archaeological dig for the day so she can go dancing 💃 at a nightclub in Tel Aviv.
The last time Ankhesenamun had felt this gitty was when she had been dancing aboard a ship called the RMS Titanic back in 1912 and a rather rude and inconsiderate iceberg 🧊 had put a damper on her evening plans.
“I found an urn ⚱️ that says This contains the ashes of Judas Iscariot,” Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury cried out.
“I lost my last bag of potato chips in the Valley of the Shadow of Death,” another archeologist called out.
Meanwhile in the halls of the Vatican, the ghost of Judas Iscariot who had been wandering the halls of the Vatican for quite a while now (he had been dispensationally released from Tartarus by Hades the Greek god of the Underworld at the request of a very high ranking Vatican official) was suddenly informed by the Egyptian jackal god Anubis that the remains of his body (his ashes) had been found.
At a hotel room in Rome, Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was flipping through the cable channels on his room’s TV 📺.
One channel he flipped to had Alfred Hitchcock beginning his old 1955-65 television series Alfred Hitchcock Presents with the words “Good evening…”
And thus began an episode of horror and suspense.
The next channel he flipped to was a documentary on Pope Francis and the scene he had flipped to showed Jorge Mario Bergoglio entering the balcony above Saint Peter’s Square minutes after he had been elected Pope on the night of March 13th 2013.
The first words Bergoglio spoke to the crowd and the opening words of his pontificate were “Buono sera…”
Which is Italian for “Good evening…”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 7th
2023.
Sherrielock Holmes and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
World famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes the quite literally immortal twin sister of world famous London consulting detective Sherlock Holmes
Sherrielock Holmes the world famous London dominatrix was getting her photo taken by famous London photographer Murrell Haggarty.
Sherrielock Holmes was the quite literally immortal twin sister of world famous London consulting detective Sherlock Holmes.
Sherrielock had become immortal after eating a specially prepared bowl 🍲 of Lingzhi supernatural mushrooms back in the early 1890s.
She had offered some to her twin brother Sherlock but he had refused.
Thus Sherlock Holmes ended up kicking the bucket 🪣 🦶 in the 1930s.
When Dr. John Watson had approached his physician friend Arthur Conan Doyle about the proper way to market the exploits of his detective friend Sherlock Holmes, Doyle suggested that Watson publish the stories under his (Doyle’s) name.
That way many people might think that Sherlock Holmes was a fictional detective.
But those people who were helped by Holmes would realize that Sherlock was in fact a real life detective.
That would start endless speculation among the populace at large:
Was Sherlock Holmes fictional? Or was he real?
That enigmatic question Was Sherlock Holmes Man or Myth? would only lead to greater increase in the popularity of the Sherlock Holmes stories.
One thing Sherlock Holmes requested of the writing duo of Dr. John Watson and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was that they not mention that Sherlock had a twin sister Sherrielock Holmes.
It was all right mentioning that Sherlock Holmes had an older brother named Mycroft who was a high ranking official in the British government of the day.
But don’t mention Sherrielock Holmes, Sherlock begged.
Watson did mention Sherrielock once, but like Basil Fawlty in relationship to mentioning the War, he got away with it.
The reason Sherlock Holmes did not want it known that he had a twin sister named Sherrielock Holmes was because Sherrielock was a professional dominatrix.
Worse yet a professional dominatrix who had once owned a bordello brothel saloon in a ruckus causing Wild West town in Colorado during the 1880s in the days of the American Wild West (Belvedere who later became famous as the ghost of a Ghost White Salamander had worked as a bartender for Sherrielock Holmes in that saloon during the days that he was a mortal human).
Having a sister (worse yet a twin sister) who was a professional dominatrix who had once owned an American Wild West bordello brothel saloon would have been extremely embarrassing to Sherlock Holmes had those facts become known publicly.
Although most members of the Victorian and Edwardian era British House of Commons and British House of Lords had heard of Sherrielock Holmes since they were among her most constant clients.
Her client list included many members of the British cabinet and several standing Prime Ministers (who really were standing after a session with her).
Sherrielock Holmes was also the immortal great-grandmother of Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.
Sherrielock had been married to a French scientist Dr. Louis Rocher for 25 years from 1893 to 1918.
It was Louis who had prepared the special dish of Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms that had made Sherrielock immortal.
Someday Louis said he would eat such a dish (making him immortal) but he said he was going to wait.
He waited too long because he, as a member of the RAF, was shot down and killed by the Red Baron Manfred von Richthofen on April 20th 1918 (the day before the Red Baron Manfred von Richthofen was himself shot down and killed on April 21st 1918).
British MP Renfield R. Renfield had discovered that Sherrielock’s late husband Dr. Louis Rocher had been an illegitimate son of Sherlock Holmes’ arch enemy Prof. James Moriarty.
Thus Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher had both Holmes and Moriarty blood 🩸 in him with Sherlock Holmes having been his great uncle and Prof. James Moriarty his great great grandfather.
No wonder that Dr. Cadbury Rocher is the genius that he is.
Amadeus Emanon a friend of Sherrielock Holmes had been listening to his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s podcast.
Renfield had been podcasting from Vienna where he was attending a conference on behalf of the British government.
The past couple of days on his podcasts Renfield had been talking about the legend of the curse of the mummy’s tomb of King Tut.
The legend had begun 100 years ago yesterday (April 5th 1923) after George Edward Stanhope Molyneux Herbert the 5th Earl of Carnarvon (the financier of Howard Carter’s expedition that discovered King Tut’s tomb) had died from a fatal mosquito bite.
The legend of the curse of the mummy’s tomb of King Tut had blasted off with full force 100 years ago today (April 6th 1923) when Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (the man the world believed to be the creator of Sherlock Holmes) said that “an evil elemental brought into being by Egyptian occultism or the spirit of Tut might have caused the death of Lord Carnarvon” the man who, along with Howard Carter, had opened the tomb of King Tut.
Said Doyle, “The Egyptians knew a great deal more about these things (occultism and spiritualism) than we do.”
Doyle added, “One does not know what elementals existed in those days and how long those elementals existed and what might be their force.”
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle pointed out that if “they (the Egyptians) could put these elementals on guard over their dead bodies, they would certainly have done so.”
Doyle concluded, “Therefore I think it quite possible that Lord Carnarvon may have met his death through one of these elementals.”
After listening to the Renfield podcasts on this subject, Amadeus Emanon went to see Sherrielock Holmes.
Sherrielock was being photographed.
Then she had an appointment.
After she had finished spanking the living daylights out of errant British actor Hugh Grant, she then spoke to Amadeus.
“Do you know anything of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s research into elementals?” Amadeus asked.
“No, I don’t,” Sherrielock answered in the negative as she adjusted her skirt, “This will have to be dry cleaned. That bastard Hugh came all over it.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 6th
2023.
The Mummy’s Curse
The Mummy’s Ghost of Kharis was successfully sacrificed by a demon possessed elk in the CERN tunnel in Switzerland but The Flintstones Police Choir sing A Happy Anniversary in relation to the mummy’s curse of another mummy King Tut
It was 100 years ago today (April 5th 1923) that the legend of the mummy’s curse of King Tut’s tomb began with the death of George Edward Stanhope Molyneux Herbert the 5th Earl of Carnarvon (the financier behind the Howard Carter expedition that discovered King Tut’s tomb) from a fatal mosquito bite.
Not one to say Never Say Die, Kharis, unlike Tut, returned from the dead and carried off a beautiful woman on a Louisiana plantation.
Meanwhile Disney released the documentary film The Pope Answers on its channels today.
In the film Francis tells a group of teenagers in one scene that “using [gay sex hook up apps like] Tinder is normal” and the Church’s teaching on sex is “still in diapers”.
Speaking from the Hofburg Palace in Vienna where he is attending a conference, British MP Renfield R. Renfield said, “It is somehow appropriate that this documentary on Francis is being released on Wednesday in Holy Week- the day that Judas Iscariot went to the Sanhedrin to betray Christ.”
A person dressed as Mickey Mouse and wearing Sanhedrin high priestly garb was at that moment presenting Jorge Mario Bergoglio with a huge cheque for $30 billion according to a vision that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster 🦞 was having.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 5th
2023.
Maria Orsic and Franz Kohler In The Inca Temple of Doom
Nazi vampire Franz Kohler of the SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau and Maria Orsic of the Vril Society in an Inca temple in 1946.
The year was 1946.
The war was over.
And Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau was in South America.
He was now a vampire.
Having been turned into a vampire by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in Berlin in the dying days of the Third Reich.
As for Maria Orsic the head of the Germanic Vril Society (a society made up of female psychics and mystics), she had been turned into an immortal by the Norse god Odin in Munich in 1923.
Odin had given her a cup of ambrosia to drink that he had won from the Greek god Zeus during a poker game in Paris.
Maria Orsic and Franz Kohler were currently in an unknown (to the world at large) Inca temple in northwestern Argentina.
The temple was dedicated to the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama.
Inside the temple was a statue of Pachamama that was said could be used to summon Pachamama herself.
British archaeologist Digby Spencer Churchill (a distant cousin of Winston’s) was hunting for the statue.
Kohler as a dedicated Nazi did not want the statue to fall into the hands of the British and especially not into the hands of the Churchill family.
Unfortunately for Kohler and Orsic as they flew into the region by plane the map they had been given was drawn by a blind man who suffered from amnesia and had not been in the region since childhood.
Thus they were somewhat behind Digby Spencer Churchill in getting to the small statue.
They looked down into the bottom chamber of the temple with their guns drawn and saw Digby picking up the small statue.
“All right, Digby, put down that statue and put your hands up,” Kohler commanded.
“What happens if I don’t?” Digby inquired.
“We’ll shoot you dead,” Kohler replied.
Digby put down the statue but instead of putting his hands up, he reached into his own pocket and pulled out a gun and began firing at the vampire.
“Unfortunately for you, Digby, I’m a vampire so your bullets unless they’re silver are totally useless against me,” Kohler grinned.
“So that’s what my mother must have meant when she told me to get the lead out,” Digby reflected out loud.
“On the other hand, you did thoroughly wreck and ruin a nice 100,000 pesos suit,” Kohler looked at the bullet holes in his jacket and pants.
Kohler then shot Digby 5 or 6 times (he wasn’t sure how many cartridges the gun held and lost count).
“Bloody Hell,’ Digby sputtered, “Shooting a fellow before he’s had the chance to enjoy his afternoon tea. Awfully unsporting of you.”
Those were the final words Digby spoke before he kicked the bucket.
The bucket after Digby had kicked it landed on top of the statue and smashed it into a thousand pieces.
“Bloody Hell,” Kohler broke into an apoplectic vampiric fit.
“Perhaps,” Maria Orsic suggested, “If we take it to a Jesuit seminary somewhere in Argentina, they might know how to put it back together again.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 10th
2022.
Spanish Archaeologists Believe They Have Discovered Hercules’ Tomb
Athena the Greek goddess of Wisdom kept calm and watched as Spanish archaeologists claimed they had found the Temple of Hercules
Archaeologists from the University of Seville and the Andalusian Institute of Historical Heritage believe they have discovered the Temple of Hercules Gaditanus.
Using information they obtained from aerial photographs, the researchers found a large rectangular structure submerged in the Bay of Cadiz.
The structure nearly 1000 feet long and 500 feet wide matches the ancient descriptions of the Temple.
The Temple of Hercules Gaditanus is said to have been a columned Temple with an eternal flame, a fire raised on an altar and was maintained day and night by priests.
Greek and Latin records say this is the place where Julius Caesar wept before a representation of Alexander the Great (Caesar having discovered that Alexander was better looking than he was) and where the Carthaginian general Hannibal went to offer thanks for the success of a military campaign a century and a half before Caesar’s sobbing performance.
. . .
The Ontario provincial government’s own data shows that the fully vaccinated make up the majority of Covid-19 hospitalizations in the Canadian province of Ontario.
On January 7th there were 1327 fully vaccinated cases in Ontario hospitals compared with 441 unvaccinated cases.
Despite this, Canada’s brainless Federal Minister of Health Jean-Yves Duclos today called upon Canada’s provincial governments to introduce mandatory vaccination policies.
After making the announcement the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST appeared written in black ink on Duclos’ forehead and then a frogs’ legs and maple syrup cream pie was thrown in his face by an invisible entity (his bodyguards who had been drinking Harvey Tallbangers claimed it was a 6 foot 8 tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who threw the cream pie).
. . .
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Saturday night podcast,
“Thrice jabbed Austrian Chancellor Karl Nehammer contracted Covid-19 during a meeting this past Thursday night at which he was promoting mandatory vaccination.
Despite receiving three experimental injections, wearing a protective mask and living in a country with stringent rules and lockdowns during the Thursday night meeting, Nehammer tested positive for Covid-19 yesterday on Friday January 7th 2022.
Nevertheless the Fuhrer wannabe doubled down on his support for compulsory vaccination and told his Austrian subjects to get vaccinated and get a booster.
At the Thursday night meeting, everyone in the room was both doubly vaccinated and thirdly boostered, was wearing masks and social distancing, and lastly Nehammer himself was separated from everyone else by plexiglass screens.
Despite this a virus found its way through and made a mockery of everything that deranged medical bureaucrats, tyrannical politicians and the brainless mainstream media have been telling the world the past couple of years.
During the Thursday night meeting, Nehammer announced new measures for his subjects in light of the new omicron variant (which so far is proving to be less lethal than the original delta variant) and told the media that the government is working on a draft law to make vaccinations compulsory starting February 1st.
“If businesses do not comply, we will have the power to shut them down,” the Covid infected politician told those present.
“What then is to be done?” Renfield looked at the camera, “We must hang Austrian Chancellor Karl Nehammer by the neck until dead. And then he’ll never have to worry about catching Covid again.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 8th
2022.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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