Paris In The 1890s

January 16, 2018 at 9:16 pm (Art, Arts, Culture, painting, Romance) (, , , )

Paris In The 1890s

The man walked around the exhibit at the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

The exhibit was titled Paris In The 1890s.

As he stared at each portrait of a beautiful Parisienne woman sitting in a sidewalk cafe, the man felt he had been there.

That he had once met each woman in the particular portrait.

“You get the feeling that the artist himself was actually there, don’t you?” Forrest the art gallery proprietor remarked as he walked over to the man.

“Yes,” the man looked at Forrest, “yes you do.”

The man turned and walked out into the night.

And then quite literally vanished.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 16th
2018.

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South African Artist SAREJESS Paints Reproduction of Hokusai’s The Great Wave  

December 29, 2017 at 10:04 pm (Art, Arts, painting) (, , , )

My friend the up and coming South African artist Timothy Wood who paints under the name SAREJESS has just finished painting his reproduction of the great Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai’s masterpiece The Great Wave 🌊.

The Sarejessian

A few months ago I happen to see a program about the paintings of Japanese Artists at the time I thought “that is easy I can do That” I also thought of my friend in Canada Chris Milner who is on WordPress and of his love for things Asian.

Last week my friend Shirley Yates gave a framed print of a Chinese water color to her niece and I thought time to paint my reproduction of the great wave. So I did an observation about people and the silliest things they can say to an artist are

When they really don’t like your painting

“After all it is your painting”

When the painting confounds them.

“interesting ”

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Renfield and The Katsushika Hokusai Painting of A Wedding In Cana of Galilee

November 27, 2017 at 9:47 pm (Art, Arts, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield and The Katsushika Hokusai Painting of A Wedding In Cana of Galilee

Dashwood Forrest the owner of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London England entered the Westminster parliamentary office of Renfield R. Renfield MP.

“Mr. Renfield,” Dashwood said, “I would like to thank you for saving my art gallery from being robbed last week.”

“That’s all right, Dash,” Renfield smiled, “I just happened to be walking by your gallery at the time and noticed it was being robbed. It gave me a chance to practice my Kung Fu and Karate skills.”

“I hope the courts give a severe punishment to the perpetrators,” Dashwood frowned.

“Well some of our judges are bleeding hearts but in this case I think the perpetrators got the punishment they deserve,” Renfield grinned.

The MP never bothered to inform Dashwood that he had fed the robbers to the giant piranhas owned by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

“I had paintings worth several millions of dollars in that particular exhibit which were on loan to me,” Forrest breathed heavily, “and of course I couldn’t afford the insurance on them so I didn’t get them insured. You saved me from bankruptcy by stopping that robbery.”

“Glad to help out,” Renfield smiled.

“As a token of my appreciation and thanks, I’d like to give you this painting I recently came in possession of,” Forrest handed him a wrapped package 📦, “have you ever heard of the great Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai?”.

“Yes I have,” Renfield nodded.

“It’s a very rare Hokusai painting,” Dashwood explained, “one unheard of by most art historians. It’s a painting of the wedding in Cana of Galilee at which Jesus turned water into wine 🍷. It had been hidden in Hokusai’s own lifetime because Christianity and Christian depictions in art were illegal in Japan at the time.”

“Wow, it must be a really valuable painting then,” Renfield held a napkin in front of his mouth so that Dashwood Forrest wouldn’t see him salivating, “are you sure you want to give it to me?”.

“It’s the least I could do,” said a grateful Dashwood Forrest.

Later Renfield went to an exclusive London restaurant so he could meet with an aide-de-camp to German Chancellor Angela Merkel to discuss British-German relations.

As he sat there at his table, Prince Harry and his fiancée Meghan Markle were then seated by the head waiter at the table next to him.

“Say,” Prince Harry spoke to Renfield, “aren’t you Renfield R. Renfield the new Member of Parliament for the Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds constituency?”.

“I am,” Renfield smiled at the prince’s recognition.

“My grandmother speaks quite highly of you,” Prince Harry was referring to the Queen, “she mentioned how you rescued one of her corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.”

“I just did what any loyal British subject would do,” Renfield smiled.

Renfield did not mention the fact that he was the one who threw the corgi into the swimming pool in the first place when everyone else’s back was turned so he could then play the role of hero and earn the gratitude of a grateful Queen.

“My grandmother also thinks you’ll make a great Prime Minister some day,” the Prince continued with his praise, “probably Britain’s greatest since Churchill.”

Renfield did not have the heart or the modesty to disagree with this flattering description of himself so he just said, “Allow me to congratulate you both on your engagement 💍.”

“Thank you,” Prince Harry and Meghan said simultaneously.

“I was going to have this engagement present I got the two of you delivered to you later but seeing as how you’re both here, I’ll give it to you now,” Renfield handed over the package containing the Katsushika Hokusai painting.

When they opened it, Renfield gave the historical background of the painting that he had gotten from Dashwood Forrest.

“Wow, thank you,” said Prince Harry.

“I think this honourable gentleman should have an invitation to our wedding 👰, don’t you, Harry?” Meghan said.

“Of course,” the Prince agreed.

And that’s how Renfield R. Renfield the freshman MP managed to wriggle an invitation to a Royal Wedding.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 27th
2017.

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Haiku About Autumn 🍂

September 28, 2017 at 5:30 pm (Art, Arts, Literature, Nature, Poetry) (, , , )

Haiku About Autumn 🍂

That time when the trees
wear coats of many colours
a fall fashion show

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Haiku About The Portrait of Dorian Gray

August 27, 2017 at 7:06 pm (Art, Arts, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , , )

Haiku About The Portrait of Dorian Gray

Portrait figure old
its subject eternal youth
free from sin’s karma

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South African Artist SAREJESS and The Tower of Big Ben

July 29, 2017 at 3:41 pm (Art, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel)

The South African artist SAREJESS was painting a picture about the dream he had the night before.

In the painting, a giant hamster was standing atop the tower of Big Ben next to the houses of Parliament in London.

Below the Tower, the early British Queen Boudica and Sir Winston Churchill were seen smiling and holding hands together.

Moonlight shone down on the clock tower whose hands both pointed at 12.

The evening cloud above the clock tower resembled the face of the late great actor Vincent Price.

On the right in the painting was an aquarium where a lobster was doing an impersonation of Norwegian artist Edvard Munch’s The Scream.

An in-law of SAREJESS, when he saw the painting, said, “You’re nuts, Tim.”

SAREJESS’s grandson Joshua (nicknamed Lallow), when he saw the painting, said, :”You’re a genius, Grandpa.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 29th
2017.

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South African Artist SAREJESS and The Cuckoo Cuckoo Clock

July 27, 2017 at 3:30 pm (Art, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , )

South African Artist SAREJESS and The Cuckoo Cuckoo Clock

The great South African artist SAREJESS was once again dreaming a dream.

He was dreaming he was in a Wild West bordello room above a Wild West saloon.

The date on the room’s calendar was marked August 15th 1885.

Outside the room through the window (for the drapes were not closed) was a neon sign that said The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon.

SAREJESS scratched his head and thought to himself, had neon lights even been invented yet back in the 1880s?

A lobster suddenly appeared on the floor of the room and started speaking to SAREJESS, “This sign was made from the earlier Geissler tubes and was arranged in a sign for this saloon by the saloon’s genius proprietress owner Miss Sherrielock Holmes who is the love of my life. Albeit an unrequited love since she is human (although an immortal human) and I but a mere lobster (albeit a lobster with psychic abilities).”

“A lobster with the power of speech?” SAREJESS was amazed.

“But only in my dreams or, in this case, in your dreams,” answered the lobster whose name was Michelangelo, “for in the real world outside dreams, my geneticist creator Dr. Cadbury Rocher did not give me the power to speak. Which is a shame. Otherwise every night, I’d crawl out of my salt water tank and use Dr. Rocher’s mobile phone to phone and text message Sherrielock Holmes and recite Shakespearean and Byronic love poems to her.”

“I’m sure she’d be impressed,” said SAREJESS.

“Indeed, she would,” Michelangelo nodded, “for she is a woman of impeccable good taste.”

The lobster then vanished with the next cry of the cuckoo clock.

Meanwhile in the bed in the room, the man in the bed (whose name was Belvedere) rolled over on top of the lovely blonde woman with nice knockers in the bed (her name was Serena).

“Oh my gosh,” Serena gasped, “here you come again.”

“Wasn’t that the name of a Dolly Parton song?” SAREJESS asked himself.

The cuckoo clock’s cuckoo then came out of the clock again.

This time the cuckoo bird had the face of Orson Welles as he appeared in the 1949 film The Third Man.

“You know,” a much older looking Orson Welles (the same age Welles was when he gave his last interview with Merv Griffin on October 10th 1985) dressed as an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh appeared to SAREJESS, “I always regretted during my long theatrical career that I never played the role of an ancient Egyptian.”

Then SAREJESS woke up.

The Paint Zombie (as his wife now called him due to his recent spate of nocturnal painting sprees) then rushed to his studio where he painted a picture of two cuckoo clocks. One had a cuckoo bird with the face of Orson Welles as the Third Man coming out of it and the other clock had a cuckoo bird with the face of Orson Welles as an Egyptian Pharaoh coming out of it.

As his wife remarked later, “You’ve definitely gone cuckoo, Tim.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 27th
2017.

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Belvedere and The Enchantress’ Spell

July 24, 2017 at 7:10 pm (Art, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , )

Belvedere and The Enchantress’ Spell

Belvedere lay asleep 😴 in the arms of Serena.

With a look of post-orgasmic bliss on his face. 😁

In her room above the bar of The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon.

In his sleep, Belvedere whispered, “Knockers, must have knockers, cried the paint zombie.”

“Who’s the Paint Zombie?” Asked the awake Unsleeping Beauty Serena beside him.

“SAREJESS,” Belvedere answered.

“Who’s SAREJESS?” Serena asked.

“He hasn’t been born yet,” Belvedere replied as the cuckoo clock on the wall silently started moving ahead.

“I see,” Serena laughed.

“Reminds me of that song from the 1980s who can it be now, knickers at my door 🚪?” Belvedere continued to quietly rant and rave.

“My, we have moved forward in time, haven’t we?” Serena laughed again.

The cuckoo bird 🐦 came out of the cuckoo clock holding a small sign that said GREED IS GOOD.

“Oh, dear,” Belvedere continued his somniac insanity, “Knockers, a pair of knockers for my king 👑 dom.”

“Knickers and knockers?” Serena continued her exquisite laughter, “This SAREJESS must have a lot on his mind these days.”

“He does,” Belvedere nodded, “He’s the one chosen to paint the arrival of…”

“Hush,” Serena put her fingers on Belvedere’s lips, “you mustn’t name the name of He who cannot be named at this point in time.”

She then kissed his lips with her own lips 👄.

Outside her window, an ancient Egyptian Nile River barge seemed to quietly float over the moon. 🌙

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 24th
2017.

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South African Artist SAREJESS and The Sundial On A Moonlit Night

July 20, 2017 at 3:31 pm (Art, Arts, Mystery, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

The great South African artist SAREJESS was dreaming another dream.

He dreamed he was in an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh’s palace on the River Nile.

He walked outside the 2nd floor of the palace on to the veranda overlooking the garden.

It was nighttime.

And a bright full moon was overhead in the clear night sky over the surrounding desert.

SAREJESS looked down at a sundial on the veranda.

He noticed the full moon was casting its shadow on the sundial.

Telling the time at night.

What an unusual night this was, SAREJESS thought to himself.

Then he awakened.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 20th
2017.

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South African Artist SAREJESS and The Sands of Time

July 19, 2017 at 2:59 pm (Art, Arts, Folklore, Ghost Story, Mystery, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, )

South African Artist SAREJESS and The Sands of Time

The great South African artist SAREJESS was dreaming.

He was dreaming he was walking along a very sandy beach.

On the beach was a huge hourglass.

The hourglass looked to be ancient.

The sands had run out.

The upper glass bulb of the hourglass was empty.

While the lower bulb beneath the hourglass’ narrow neck was full of sand.

A huge wave suddenly came in towards the shore and surrounded the hourglass.

Mermaids leapt forth from the waves.

They turned the hourglass over.

So once again the sands of time were flowing through the hourglass.

The waves retreated and the alluringly beautiful mermaids went with them.

And the hourglass was once again on the sandy beach.

For the beach was now completely dry again despite having been hit by the waves carrying the magical mermaids.

And sand flowed down from the upper glass tube (that moments before had been the lower glass tube) through the hourglass’ narrow neck into the new lower glass tube (that prior to the sudden advent of wave and mermaid had been the upper glass tube).

A voice spoke to SAREJESS from beyond the ocean, “Behold the sands of time are flowing once more.”

Then SAREJESS woke up.

He ran to his studio.

This scene he felt compelled to paint. 🎨

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 18th
2017.

To buy a genuine authentic oil painting by the great South African artist SAREJESS for yourself, please visit http://www.sarejess.co.za/

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