Pan Goatee Dishes Out Yet Another Pummeling In The Name of Global Aesthetics

July 3, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Aesthetics, Art, Arts, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Pan Goatee Dishes Out Yet Another Pummeling In The Name of Global Aesthetics

Pan Goatee was once again on a mission.

Recently he had been hired to steal a Leonardo Da Vinci painting from the private art collection of a Western Canadian rancher and cattle baron.

Now he was back to steal yet another work of art from the cattle rancher’s private art collection.

This one was a small statue done of the Greek satyr god Pan.

The statue had been done by the famous Renaissance sculptor and painter Michelangelo (who was of course no relation to Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster at London’s Set Enterprises laboratory).

Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA had been doing some research earlier this year at the Vatican Archives in Rome and had discovered reference to the statue Michelangelo had sculpted of Pan the Greek satyr god of the wild, forests, mountains, rustic music, shepherds and flocks.

Apparently Michelangelo had based the sculpture on the actual perfectly preserved body of Pan he had seen hidden deep in a catacomb beneath the Vatican.

And as such it was the most accurate sculpture of Pan ever depicted in the last 2000 years.

According to the document Dr. Faustus Imhotep had read, underneath the base of the small statue were hieroglyphs that Michelangelo had carved into the base that revealed the whereabouts of what catacomb beneath the Vatican contained Pan’s body.

The highest levels of the U.S. government were anxious to get their hands on Pan’s perfectly preserved body.

A CIA search had determined that the Michelangelo statue of Pan was in the Western Canadian cattle rancher’s private collection of which Pan Goatee had recently stolen a Da Vinci painting.

So Goatee was sent to steal the Michelangelo statue now.

Goatee was riding a bus that would take him by the rancher’s maternal grandmother’s house where the late cattle baron (that Goatee had assassinated on DARPA’s orders) kept his private art collection.

Suddenly a really repulsive fat ugly woman got on the bus.

Goatee had his hands on his astral laser machete because he felt driven to decapitate the fat ugly cow.

But Dr. Faustus Imhotep had told the satyr serial killer and DARPA contract assassin not to call attention to himself.

So it took every once of strength on Goatee’s part to resist the urge.

However when the fat ugly blimp was going to get off the stop just before he got off, Goatee went up and started pummeling the fat ugly cow in her fat ugly face with his fists.

He punched her in the face 1001 times for good measure.

He then took his astral laser machete and cut her up into 100,001 pieces.

The display amazed a statistician for Statistics Canada who was sitting on the bus and counted.

“Wow, nice numbers,” the statistician was impressed.

Pan Goatee then left the bus, approached the house, tortured the cattle rancher’s grandmother until she revealed the statue’s location and then stole the Michelangelo statue of Greek nature god Pan.

He then gave the statue to American CIA agent Bob Belfor.

He then caught another bus to return him to his hotel.

As he got off, he noticed an ugly looking woman and her boyfriend get off behind him.

“What, what a loser!” Goatee thought as he looked at the creep dating an ugly woman, “I better prevent this couple from mating and passing ugly genes into the world.”

He beheaded both the ugly woman and her loser boyfriend.

Just then he got a call on his smart phone.

It was from Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA.

Apparently a person at the top of the highest levels of the U.S. government had put in a call to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau telling him that he had 24 hours to immediately remove the July 1st 2018 tariffs he had slapped on U.S. products or else.

This person at the highest levels did not tell Mr. Trudeau what the “or else” was.

The “or else” was going to be that Pan Goatee would decapitate Justin Trudeau’s head with his astral laser machete and then put the head on top of a giant marijuana plant that was growing on Ottawa’s Parliament Hill and then alert the news media to come and take pictures of Justin’s severed head on the pot plant.

Pan Goatee after getting off the phone with Dr. Faustus Imhotep then phoned the airlines and booked a flight to Ottawa first thing in the morning.

A photo montage music video about the Greek god Pan I made and posted at YouTube 10 years ago:

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 3rd
2018.

Advertisements

Permalink 24 Comments

The Tower of Song By David Redpath

July 2, 2018 at 10:04 pm (Art, Arts, Literature, Poetry) (, , )

An excellent poem written by an outstanding poet.

David Redpath

20160727_181141-01-01-01-221218617.jpeg

To find truth without faith,
love and hope,
like trying to climb
Mt. Everest
naked, without oxygen,
or even a rope.
Not saying it can’t be done,
but man,
sounding like a clang!
Or have I found
that love thang?
Try as you might
to sight the heavens,
like pointing a microscope
to the skies
from the dire
mire basement
in which your standing.
Far better, in the light,
seeing the world
through heaven’s eyes.
Holy Mindfulness
is the place
where we all belong.
As Leonard Cohen,
he’s moving on
to the Tower of Song.

View original post 522 more words

Permalink 5 Comments

The Flying Dutchman Within Sight of The Modern Skyline of Port Elizabeth

June 19, 2018 at 11:10 pm (Art, Arts, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, painting, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Flying Dutchman Within Sight of The Modern Skyline of Port Elizabeth

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol sighed as he put down the phone at Interpol headquarters in Lyon, France.

Despite Pope Francis’ recent pronouncement on the subject, all Hell was quite literally breaking loose upon the world.

And to top it off his associate who was his ally in battling evil supernatural forces the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was nowhere to be found.

The first example of something majorly supernatural happening in this sixth month of the Year of Our Lord 2018 was that the famous legendary ghost ship The Flying Dutchman had just been spotted in the harbour of Port Elizabeth South Africa 🇿🇦.

Hundreds of people had seen the ship according to Port Elizabeth police reports and eyewitness statements.

But the really strange thing about the incident was these same eyewitnesses tried to take photos of the ship with their smart phones or in a few rare cases those old fashioned instruments known as the Polaroid, Kodak and Nikon cameras 📷.

But in every single instance where a picture was taken of the Flying Dutchman entering Port Elizabeth harbour, the photo (be it on smart phone or Polaroid or Kodak or Nikon camera) turned out to be a photograph of Donald Trump wearing a pair of Canadian shoes with his British valet and butler Lexington hitting them with a hammer trying to make them look old and scruffy.

In those instances where people tried to shoot a video of the Flying Dutchman entering Port Elizabeth harbour, the same image would appear only in motion and with sound.

The video showed Lexington playing an old 1920s gramophone in the background so that Donald Trump’s pair of Canadian shoes 👞 would sound old as well.

Fortunately for posterity as far as Peter Whitstable was concerned, it so happened that the great South African artist SAREJESS (whose real name was Timothy Wood but who painted under the nom-de-plume SAREJESS which was a combination of the first letters of his 3 daughters’ names Sarah, Rebecca and Jessica) happened to be on the yacht The Aphrodite Emerald Star of The Ocean at the time.

The Aphrodite Emerald Star of The Ocean was owned by the Irish Greek shipping tycoon Heraclitus O’ Spazzis who being blind (after a tragic visit to the City of Calgary) had recently proposed marriage to Hillary Clinton should she ever become a widow.

SAREJESS had been hired as a guide by O’Spazzis to take him out to the best fishing spots off Port Elizabeth.

The yacht was returning to the harbour after O’ Spazzis had caught an amazing 153 fishes when the Flying Dutchman appeared.

“What’s all the excitement about?” The blind O’ Spazzis asked as he ate his Guinness laced shepherd’s pie 🥧 and his Ouzo laced lamb Souvlaki and heard loud and excited cries coming from shore.

“It’s the Flying Dutchman,” his skipper Hades Charon answered.

“Damn, I wish I could see it,” O’ Spazzis sipped his Doppelgänger (a drink that was a deadly combination of 1/2 Guinness and 1/2 ouzo), “Stupid Calgary cowboys letting their fat ugly cows wander on the city streets like that.”

Venus O’ Hara the executive assistant to Mr. O’ Spazzis took a picture of the Flying Dutchman with her smart phone and then exclaimed, “Damn! All I got was a picture of Donald Trump trying to smuggle a pair of Canadian shoes across the Alberta-Montana border.”

On the yacht’s radio, Madonna could be heard singing, “You keep on pushing my love over the borderline…”

Hades Charon tried to record a video with his smart phone and got the same imagery showing up.

On the video Trump could be heard saying, “It’s because of illegal shoe smuggling that we need to put tariffs on Canada…”

“… feels like I’m going to lose my mind…” Madonna continued singing.

Fortunately, Timothy (aka SAREJESS) had remembered to bring his paintbrush 🖌, a palette 🎨, a canvas and his paints with him.

Timothy sat down on board the deck of the yacht The Aphrodite Emerald Star of The Ocean and immediately started painting a picture of the Flying Dutchman within sight of the modern skyline of the city of Port Elizabeth South Africa.

The yacht lay anchored there for the next several hours while Tim painted his picture.

When he had finished, the Flying Dutchman ghost ship then turned around and sailed out of the harbour.

“Shit! It’s leaving!” Several voices exclaimed on shore, “And what’s up with all these fucking pics of Donald Trump trying to smuggle a pair of Canadian shoes across the border anyways?”.

Peter Whitstable gazed at the photo of the SAREJESS painting entitled The Flying Dutchman Within Sight of The Modern Skyline of Port Elizabeth.

“Well at least this image has been recorded for posterity,” Whitstable smiled, “what a great moment in art history.”

Meanwhile on the Port Elizabeth beach, the famous London art historian, curator and art gallery owner Dashwood Forrest sat sipping a Mai Tai.

His living dead Irish manservant Mulligan the Irish Zombie 🧟‍♂️ sat drinking a glass of Jameson Irish Whiskey 🥃 attempting to paint 🎨 a picture of the Flying Dutchman with his paintbrush 🖌 on canvas.

“How are you coming, Mulligan?” Forrest asked.

“By all the blessed saints in their ongoing cosmic wrestling match with the demon Mephistopheles,” Mulligan bellyached as he rubbed his stomach, “this paintbrush seems to have a mind of its own. All I get is a picture of Donald Trump trying to smuggle a pair of Canadian shoes 👞 across the Canada-U.S. border.”

“Real geniuses don’t get caught smuggling shoes,” Forrest remarked as he looked at the painting which showed Robert Mueller holding a pair of handcuffs as Trump crossed the border wearing a pair of shoes emblazoned with the Canadian maple 🍁 leaf and the Canadian beaver.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 19th
2018.

If you wish to own the original of this amazing SAREJESS painting The Flying Dutchman Within Sight of The Modern Skyline of Port Elizabeth

please contact Timothy Wood at his South African phone number:

084 996 5316

or if you just wish to own a limited edition personally autographed print of the painting, also contact Tim at the same number:

084 996 5316

Permalink 16 Comments

Pan Goatee’s Defence of Aesthetics Before Assassinating A Cattle Rancher

June 9, 2018 at 10:31 pm (Aesthetics, Art, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Pan Goatee’s Defence of Aesthetics Before Assassinating A Cattle Rancher

Pan Goatee was on a mission for DARPA.

He had been sent to this city to assassinate a pre-eminent Alberta cattle rancher.

Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA (the actual head of DARPA who was code named Enema Enigma to hide his identity in civilian life was currently in hospital in Dublin undergoing a massive enigmatic enema after having come 2nd in An All The Blocks of Cheese 🧀 You Can Eat eating contest losing to an Irish barking dog (as opposed to Irish speaking dog) named Kurt. Kurt’s win for some reason caused the Italian Google Translate search engine to crash) had personally given Pan Goatee his orders for the assassination of the cattle rancher.

Dr. Faustus Imhotep told Pan that the orders for the assassination had come from the very top but did not elaborate as to what the term “very top” meant.

He did tell Goatee that the assassination target was a wealthy Alberta cattle rancher who was a major financial donor to the Canadian Federal Liberal Party (which was very unusual for an Albertan) and also a man who was a very enthusiastic supporter of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau (also very unusual for an Albertan).

So Goatee deduced that this high ranking official who had ordered the assassination was obviously someone who was very pissed off 😡 with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Goatee was now in this Alberta city to go assassinate the wealthy cattle rancher and enthusiastic supporter of Justin Trudeau.

He was currently riding the Public Transit System Train 🚊 in the city on his way to the hotel where the wealthy cattle rancher was staying.

As Pan Goatee sat in his seat 💺 while the train pulled in at a train station platform, he noticed an extremely and very repulsively ugly fat ugly blimp approaching towards the train car he was sitting in.

“Choose another car you fatso uglo,” Goatee thought to himself.

Instead the fatso uglo being demonically possessed got on the very train car Goatee was riding in.

Pan immediately reached for his astral laser machete but realized that he had dropped it off at The Invisible Chinaman’s Astral Cleaning Chinese Laundry in Calgary’s Chinatown to get it cleaned.

Pan had used the machete to try to cut an immensely tough steak 🥩 at the Cactus 🌵 Club restaurant downtown and had spilled the awful tasting massive lumps of gravy all over his machete.

As a result, he was now getting it cleaned.

Pan moved over so that the fat ugly blimp would not sit next to him.

Instead the fat ugly blimp sat right behind him.

Then she crawled next to him and under his seat to pick up some rather long cigarette butts the fat ugly creature intended to smoke later.

“You fucking ugly looking fat blimp,” Goatee said in a statement that was definitely a brilliant grasp of the obvious, “I’m going to pummel your fat ugly face to bits.”

He proceeded to do just that.

He then ripped her fat ugly body to bits with his long fingernails.

Pan noticed that just before he pummeled the fat ugly blimp’s face to death that a blind man had accidentally pressed Take Photo on his new Dr. Cadbury Rocher Mobile Exceptionally Smart Phone while attempting to send a text message in braille to an NFL referee.

“May I borrow your phone?” Goatee asked the blind man and then spoke to the smart phone’s avatar helper PANDORA, “would you please send that last photo taken to the following mobile phone number?”.

Goatee then said aloud the number.

The number belonged to Calgary’s resident white supremacist leader Brutus Campbell.

Goatee included a text message with the photo of the fat ugly blimp that said, “Hey asshole as you’re busy shooting your mouth off about the superiority of the white race, take a look at this photo of this fat ugly blimp which is what the majority of white women look like in this city since you’re too stupid to have noticed.”

Goatee then pressed Send.

Brutus Campbell had moments before just received a text message with accompanying selfie from a black man in drag who said, “Hey, I just met an acquaintance who said that you’ve recently come out of the closet and you’re looking for a gay trannie to show you the ropes- the BDSM ropes that is.”

No sooner had Brutus Campbell looked at the photo of the black man in drag then the photo of the white raced fat ugly blimp (that Pan Goatee had sent him) appeared to him.

“Egad! I’m blind! I’m blind!” Brutus Campbell shouted in what a Master’s Degree student in Classical Greek (who was writing his Master’s thesis on the plays of Sophocles) considered the worst performance of Oedipus Rex that he had ever seen as he walked by.

. . .

The toupee wearing man they call Donald Trump was en route to Singapore.

As he noticed red spider monkey fur dandruff drops falling out of his toupee, he wondered if there were any porn stars aboard the plane ✈️ who would be willing to give him a blow job.

He asked one of his aides to find him one.

Trump had just been attending the G-7 Summit in La Malbaie in the Canadian province of Quebec.

Originally Trump had signed on to the La Malbaie G-7 Summit communique but after watching a televised statement that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made at a press conference, the U.S. leader threw a temper tantrum and instructed his aides to say he was now signing off.

As Trump thought about how well he was personally defending the interests of American labour, industry and agriculture, he bit into a piece of Alberta grown steak 🥩 that he had asked be prepared for him.

As Trump bit into the steak 🥩 that had been prepared for him by the Cactus 🌵 Club restaurant in downtown Calgary, he choked on the extremely tough piece of meat.

“There will be Hell to pay for this,” Trump shouted as he angrily sent a text message to Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday June 9th
2018.

Permalink 12 Comments

Reblog of Dashwood Forrest Meets Ivanka Trump

May 18, 2018 at 10:43 pm (Art, Arts, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote over a year ago:

Dracul Van Helsing

Dashwood Forrest stood in the middle of his hotel room dressed like Gainsborough’s Blue Boy and stared at himself in the full length mirror on the wall.

“I’m beginning to have some idea of how Narcissus must have felt when he saw his own reflection,” Dashwood swooned.

There was a knock at the door.

“Mulligan, would you please answer that,” Dashwood called out to his Irish zombie manservant, “and please put a towel over your head. I don’t want you frightening anybody like you did the cleaning staff this morning. It took a $50 tip to bring them back again.”

Mulligan put a towel over his head and went to open the door.

He crashed into several lamps on his way to find the door.

“Watch where you’re going, Mulligan!” Dashwood exclaimed.

“It’s rather difficult to see where I’m going wearing a towel over my head,” Mulligan complained as he…

View original post 551 more words

Permalink 3 Comments

Reblog of An Evening At The Mermaid Art Exhibit

April 30, 2018 at 10:39 pm (Aesthetics, Art, Arts, Culture, Fantasy, Folklore, Humour, Mythology, painting, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

A vampire novel chapter I wrote over a year ago about an evening at the mermaid art exhibit which turned out to be as riotous as the Marx Brothers’ night at the opera:

Dracul Van Helsing

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Sir Nigel Blake-Lenin the curator of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery announced to those gathered at the Mermaid Art Exhibit’s opening night, “regrettably the artist Miss Charmaine Olivia will not be able to be with us this evening…”

The crowd moaned and groaned their disappointment.

“Yes,” Sir Nigel Blake-Lenin sighed in sympathy, “Miss Olivia ate some rather bad tuna fish sandwiches earlier this evening that she had thought had come from the Exhibit caterers but they turned out to have been brought in by a mysterious third party…”

“So she’s the one who ate all my tuna fish sandwiches that I had brought with me tonight,” Renfield seethed to Amadeus.

“Then you might have been the one who came down with food poisoning,” Amadeus pointed out.

“I guess every cloud has a silver lining,” Renfield grinned.

A dark cloud appeared over the gallery and an American silver…

View original post 773 more words

Permalink 2 Comments

Reblog- Sherrielock Holmes Invited To Mermaid Art Exhibit

April 24, 2018 at 8:59 pm (Art, Culture, Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, painting, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote over a year ago:

Dracul Van Helsing

Sherrielock Holmes was wearing an exquisite turquoise evening dress. She had been invited to an exhibition of paintings of mermaids done by artist Charmaine Olivia at a new London art gallery- The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery.

Her escort for this evening would be her great-grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher. Of course she would not be introduced as Cadbury’s great-grandmother at the Exhibit Opening Night Party. People might talk.

For Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ lesser-known twin sister) had turned immortal one fine day back in the 1890s when she had eaten a special blend of Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms prepared for her by her boyfriend later husband Dr. Louis Rocher (who was Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s great-grandfather).

Sadly her love Dr. Louis Rocher did not prepare and eat a bunch of Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms for himself. For whatever reason, he decided to wait to eat the mushroom elixir of life. When the…

View original post 567 more words

Permalink 2 Comments

Paris In The 1890s

January 16, 2018 at 9:16 pm (Art, Arts, Culture, painting, Romance) (, , , )

Paris In The 1890s

The man walked around the exhibit at the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

The exhibit was titled Paris In The 1890s.

As he stared at each portrait of a beautiful Parisienne woman sitting in a sidewalk cafe, the man felt he had been there.

That he had once met each woman in the particular portrait.

“You get the feeling that the artist himself was actually there, don’t you?” Forrest the art gallery proprietor remarked as he walked over to the man.

“Yes,” the man looked at Forrest, “yes you do.”

The man turned and walked out into the night.

And then quite literally vanished.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 16th
2018.

Permalink 13 Comments

South African Artist SAREJESS Paints Reproduction of Hokusai’s The Great Wave  

December 29, 2017 at 10:04 pm (Art, Arts, painting) (, , , )

My friend the up and coming South African artist Timothy Wood who paints under the name SAREJESS has just finished painting his reproduction of the great Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai’s masterpiece The Great Wave 🌊.

The Sarejessian

A few months ago I happen to see a program about the paintings of Japanese Artists at the time I thought “that is easy I can do That” I also thought of my friend in Canada Chris Milner who is on WordPress and of his love for things Asian.

Last week my friend Shirley Yates gave a framed print of a Chinese water color to her niece and I thought time to paint my reproduction of the great wave. So I did an observation about people and the silliest things they can say to an artist are

When they really don’t like your painting

“After all it is your painting”

When the painting confounds them.

“interesting ”

View original post

Permalink 13 Comments

Renfield and The Katsushika Hokusai Painting of A Wedding In Cana of Galilee

November 27, 2017 at 9:47 pm (Art, Arts, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield and The Katsushika Hokusai Painting of A Wedding In Cana of Galilee

Dashwood Forrest the owner of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London England entered the Westminster parliamentary office of Renfield R. Renfield MP.

“Mr. Renfield,” Dashwood said, “I would like to thank you for saving my art gallery from being robbed last week.”

“That’s all right, Dash,” Renfield smiled, “I just happened to be walking by your gallery at the time and noticed it was being robbed. It gave me a chance to practice my Kung Fu and Karate skills.”

“I hope the courts give a severe punishment to the perpetrators,” Dashwood frowned.

“Well some of our judges are bleeding hearts but in this case I think the perpetrators got the punishment they deserve,” Renfield grinned.

The MP never bothered to inform Dashwood that he had fed the robbers to the giant piranhas owned by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

“I had paintings worth several millions of dollars in that particular exhibit which were on loan to me,” Forrest breathed heavily, “and of course I couldn’t afford the insurance on them so I didn’t get them insured. You saved me from bankruptcy by stopping that robbery.”

“Glad to help out,” Renfield smiled.

“As a token of my appreciation and thanks, I’d like to give you this painting I recently came in possession of,” Forrest handed him a wrapped package 📦, “have you ever heard of the great Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai?”.

“Yes I have,” Renfield nodded.

“It’s a very rare Hokusai painting,” Dashwood explained, “one unheard of by most art historians. It’s a painting of the wedding in Cana of Galilee at which Jesus turned water into wine 🍷. It had been hidden in Hokusai’s own lifetime because Christianity and Christian depictions in art were illegal in Japan at the time.”

“Wow, it must be a really valuable painting then,” Renfield held a napkin in front of his mouth so that Dashwood Forrest wouldn’t see him salivating, “are you sure you want to give it to me?”.

“It’s the least I could do,” said a grateful Dashwood Forrest.

Later Renfield went to an exclusive London restaurant so he could meet with an aide-de-camp to German Chancellor Angela Merkel to discuss British-German relations.

As he sat there at his table, Prince Harry and his fiancée Meghan Markle were then seated by the head waiter at the table next to him.

“Say,” Prince Harry spoke to Renfield, “aren’t you Renfield R. Renfield the new Member of Parliament for the Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds constituency?”.

“I am,” Renfield smiled at the prince’s recognition.

“My grandmother speaks quite highly of you,” Prince Harry was referring to the Queen, “she mentioned how you rescued one of her corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.”

“I just did what any loyal British subject would do,” Renfield smiled.

Renfield did not mention the fact that he was the one who threw the corgi into the swimming pool in the first place when everyone else’s back was turned so he could then play the role of hero and earn the gratitude of a grateful Queen.

“My grandmother also thinks you’ll make a great Prime Minister some day,” the Prince continued with his praise, “probably Britain’s greatest since Churchill.”

Renfield did not have the heart or the modesty to disagree with this flattering description of himself so he just said, “Allow me to congratulate you both on your engagement 💍.”

“Thank you,” Prince Harry and Meghan said simultaneously.

“I was going to have this engagement present I got the two of you delivered to you later but seeing as how you’re both here, I’ll give it to you now,” Renfield handed over the package containing the Katsushika Hokusai painting.

When they opened it, Renfield gave the historical background of the painting that he had gotten from Dashwood Forrest.

“Wow, thank you,” said Prince Harry.

“I think this honourable gentleman should have an invitation to our wedding 👰, don’t you, Harry?” Meghan said.

“Of course,” the Prince agreed.

And that’s how Renfield R. Renfield the freshman MP managed to wriggle an invitation to a Royal Wedding.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 27th
2017.

Permalink 4 Comments

Next page »