Footballers, Shepherds and Wise Men

December 23, 2019 at 11:11 pm (Christmas, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel)

Footballers, Shepherds and Wise Men

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was walking with his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont on the streets of London two nights before Christmas Day.

“So,” Amadeus remarked to Renfield, “Did you hear that Pope Francis recently met with a group of footballers (called soccer players in Canada and the U.S.) and asked them, “Don’t you guys have anything better to do than make the Sign of the Cross while playing the game?”.

“No doubt,” Renfield sipped his hot chocolate, “the demonic spirit guides who serve as advisors to Pope Francis get frightened off if they’re watching a football game and they see some players making the Sign of The Cross.”

“I suppose that’s it,” Amadeus put a £10 donation in a Salvation Army glass Christmas kettle.

“I’m sure,” Renfield made the same amount donation into the glass Christmas kettle, “that Pope Francis’ demonic spirit guides are never bothered by seeing anyone make the Sign of The Cross around Pope Francis’ papal apartments.”

“That’s probably true,” Amadeus nodded.

“Look, there’s an outdoor Christmas Nativity scene next to that church up ahead,” Angelique Dumont pointed.

The trio headed to the Nativity scene.

In the stable, one could see the figures of the Virgin Mary, Saint Joseph and the Baby Jesus.

Outside the stable were a group of shepherds kneeling.

Approaching a few feet away were the figures of the Wise Men riding their camels.

And just behind the fence of the Nativity scene were real live donkeys that members of the public could pet.

“Hello, little donkey,” Amadeus patted a donkey’s nose.

The donkey brayed contentedly.

“You always seem to get along well with animals,” Renfield noted.

Another donkey ate the flower in Renfield’s coat lapel.

“Well, at least he likes your flowers, Renfield,” Angelique laughed.

“It’s good that I’m appreciated in some fashion,” Renfield had to admit.

The trio headed off down the street as stars sparkled in the night sky.

Carrying a distant reminder of the night sky in Bethlehem many many years ago.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Monday December 23rd

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Christmas Sweater

December 22, 2019 at 11:31 pm (Christmas, Culture, Folklore, Humour, Poetry) (, , )

Christmas Sweater

And so one might ask, who and what did Santa Claus ride
Back in the day of the dinosaurs’ stride?
And now thanks to Christmas sweaters, it can be revealed 
You can wear the sweater while, on the topic, keeping your lips sealed.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday December 22nd

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Frosty Snowman and Teddy Bear

December 15, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Blogroll, Celebrities, Children's Story, Christmas, Comedy, Humour, Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

Frosty Snowman and Teddy Bear

Amadeus Emanon had been invited to sing an original song for the Christmas concert at Saint Genevieve’s Church which he attended.

“Do you know what he’s going to sing?” Angelique Dumont asked Amadeus’ friend Renfield R. Renfield as they sat in the pews.

“No, I don’t,” Renfield replied.

Amadeus began his introduction to the song, “When I’ve been out walking in my neighbourhood in the evening for the past couple of weeks to look at the Christmas lights, one of the houses I’ve noticed has a sparkling Frosty the Snowman lit up with some sparkling snow flakes. Next to Frosty is a teddy bear that’s carrying a large nicely wrapped Christmas present. It too is lit up. So I’ve written a song about Frosty Snowman and Teddy Bear.”

Amadeus began his song,

“Frosty Snowman, Frosty Snowman,
he is cooler than a ceiling fan,
he’s made of snow
from head to toe 
and his carrot nose 
has that certain glow.

With buttons for eyes
that hypnotize 
his charcoal mouth has never tasted fries 
He wears a scarf and several school ties 
He smokes a pipe under moonlit skies.

As for Teddy, he’s always ready 
to help you bear the unbearable 
And though you think his Christmas sweater is unwearable 
He wears it just the same
His excuse may be lame
And his pic won’t adorn a frame 
But being unique is his game.

He holds a gift nicely wrapped
He looks so fresh having recently napped 
He waves hello
With places to go
He’ll wave good-bye
But please don’t cry 
He will be back 
carrying Santa’s sack.

Frosty Snowman, Teddy Bear
As you see, they’ve got real flair 
Come Christmas Eve, you’ll see they care
And please hang your stockings by the chimney somewhere
And please don’t mock Santa’s extra large suit he’ll wear
For he ate too much Mrs. Claus’ cookies on a dare.

-A song, poem and vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday December 15th

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Amadeus and The Unicorn On Christmas Eve

December 24, 2017 at 10:21 pm (Christmas, Entertainment, Folklore, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Amadeus and The Unicorn On Christmas Eve

Amadeus Emanon was spending Christmas Eve walking through London’s Hyde Park.

He’d be attending Midnight Mass at an Anglo-Catholic Church of England parish later in the evening.

His friend Renfield R. Renfield the newly elected British Transhumanist MP was spending Christmas Eve in his bedroom with the doors locked.

Renfield had seen a live stage performance of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol earlier in the evening and was now terribly afraid that like Scrooge, he’d be visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.

Athelstan the butler and valet on the Set Estate would be spending Christmas with his mother in northern England where no doubt most of his time would be spent getting his mother out of drunken brawls arguing over who would win the FIFA World Cup in Russia next year.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (owner of the Set Estate) would be spending his time over the next few days hibernating in his sarcophagus until all the Christmas cheer died down.

Amadeus sat down on a park bench and looked at the snow and the decorative lights on some of the trees.

Suddenly from behind one of the trees a unicorn appeared.

Snow white in its appearance, it walked with its glistening horn towards Amadeus and bowed.

It then went on its way and seemed to vanish into the night.

After its appearance, a musical melody entered Amadeus’ head.

Taking out a notebook 📓 (a real old fashioned notebook and not an iPad) and a pen, Amadeus wrote down the notes to the melody.

No doubt seeing a unicorn on Christmas Eve conveys an important message, Amadeus felt.

Meanwhile back on the Set Estate, Renfield R. Renfield hid under his bedroom blankets and covers when he heard the old grandfather clock in the hall chime 11 PM.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 24th

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Amadeus and Renfield On Feast of Stephen

December 26, 2015 at 7:41 pm (Christmas, Culture, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Amadeus and Renfield On Feast of Stephen

Amadeus Emanon had not touched his breakfast of a dozen egg omelette, 12 pancakes with maple syrup and a large helping of hash browns smothered in gravy.

Renfield sensed that something must be wrong.

“What is it, Amadeus?” Renfield happily munched away on his own breakfast of steak and eggs.

“Well, I’ve been listening to that radio station that’s been playing Christmas songs the past few weeks and it played Christmas songs all day yesterday and then at exactly 12:01 AM today, it stopped playing Christmas songs. I was kind of hoping they’d play Christmas songs a while longer. After all there’s supposed to be 12 days of Christmas aren’t there?” Amadeus inquired.

“Well,” Renfield reached for his bottle of whiskey and took a huge sip, “do you know what date this is, Amadeus?”.

“December 26th,” Amadeus replied.

“Exactly,” Renfield belched, “Boxing Day. After all, people find it more important to save huge bundles of money on clothing and electronics than they do celebrating that God became human and became one with His own creation. And that’s what Boxing Day is all about, Amadeus Emanon.”

And that was Renfield’s 21st Century Linus to Amadeus’ 21st Century Charlie Brown.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 26th

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Broken Toys: A Poem

December 13, 2015 at 8:37 pm (Christmas, Life, Poetry) (, , )

Broken Toys: A Poem

Broken toys on the floor
broken hearts at the table
A Christmas tree bare
Santa asphyxiated crawling down the chimney
dog dead from eating poisoned cookies on table by fireplace
cat dead from drinking poisoned milk by chair
flying reindeer on roof slain by NRA supporter mistaking them for Mexican immigrants
Grandma dead in the snow from hypothermia
Nobody answered the doorbell
All the family was in bed
Visions of Valium dancing in their head
So a Merry Christmas to all-
and to all- a good night!

-A dark Christmas poem
written by Christopher
Sunday December 13th

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The Christmas Tree: A Poem

December 11, 2015 at 8:21 pm (Christmas, Life, Poetry) (, )

The Christmas Tree: A Poem

This is the place where dreams come true
This is the time to say “Love you”
Those branches fair
hung with special care
angels and candy cane
socks on chimney lain
This is the night
where shines the light
that shatters winter darkness blues
to mark where angels sang Joyous news
“He is Come! He is come!”
so ‘midst fairy and sugarplum
That neverending story begun
at Bethlehem long ago
lifts us up ‘midst winter snow.

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday December 11th

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The Post-Modern Christmas

December 14, 2014 at 9:11 pm (Christmas, Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Poetry) (, , , )

The Post-Modern Christmas

A ray of hope no longer flickers in the breeze
Lives are trampled and flattened in a whirlwind of despair
Where a tiny star once lit up way up high
A bullhorn tells people to disperse in the street
All across the land dawns an everlasting night
This comes to pass when a child is forgotten.

Billions of silent wishes drown in the Seven Seas
The guns of change make deserts of the trees
And the walls of doubt soar above the clouds
This comes to pass when a child is forgotten.

That rosy hue is replaced by stains of blood
You got the feel the ground collapses under your feet
With spells of darkness everyone feels forlorn
This comes to pass when a child is forgotten.

And all of this happens because the world has turned its back
on this one child; Black-white-yellow, no one cares…
They’ll shoot you when you’ve got your hands in the air
Laughter drowns submerged in a valley of tears
Love to hate, peace to war and everyone becomes everyone’s enemy
And misery and suffering are the only words left in the dictionary.

It’s all a reality now
It is the one truth eternal for our time
All across the land dawns an everlasting night
This comes to pass when a child is forgotten.

-A poetic response to the Christmas song When A Child Is Born
-describing the state of the world at Christmas 2014.

-written by Christopher
Sunday December 14th

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December At The North Pole: A Poem

December 5, 2014 at 5:51 pm (Children's Story, Christmas, Humour, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

December At The North Pole: A Poem

Well it’s early December
a time to remember
it will soon be Christmas Eve
thought the little elf called Steve
he was putting the finishing touches on Santa’s toys
for all the good little girls and boys
It was kind of cold living at the North Pole
you put on the fire heaps of coal
to help keep you warm
during an Arctic storm
his work day was now done
but so sadly was the sun
When he headed home, it was pitch dark
so he walked to the lot where reindeer park
but he couldn’t find his keys
and it was starting to freeze
then Rudolph did sneeze
and set everything aglow
And the light showed the keys in the fallen snow
so he picked up his keys
and ate his last piece of cheese
then he put the keys in the reindeer’s horn
and off the creature sprang like a comet reborn
So off went Comet and Dancer and Vixen
when it came to rent-a-deer he had the pick of the fixin’
for this is what they do when it’s not Christmas Eve
they fly home tired elves just like old Steve.

-A Christmas poem for children
written by Christopher
Monday December 1st

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