Haiku About Disastrous Calamities Facing America

September 5, 2017 at 6:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Nature, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

Haiku About Disastrous Calamities Facing America

Hurricane Harvey
Hurricane Irma and then
J. followed by Kim?

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Renfield’s Video, The Secular Socialist Taliban and The Coming Antichrist

August 28, 2017 at 2:00 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, )

Renfield R. Renfield was showing a video to the UK Parliamentary Foreign Affairs Committee which was tied in to the same theme he had spoken on a couple of days earlier.

The video showed Nazi German soldiers knocking Soviet red stars off buildings in Ukraine following the June 22nd 1941 invasion of the USSR in Operation Barbarossa.

“It’s always been the habit of an emerging totalitarian order to knock down and destroy the symbols of the old previous order,” Renfield R. Renfield spoke.

He then showed Antifa and anarchist thugs tearing down and stomping on the statue of a Confederate soldier in Durham North Carolina.

“Notice the sheer look of stupidity and brainless violent emotions on the faces of those who are tearing down the statue,” Renfield said, ‘such mindlessness leads one to accept whatever emerging totalitarian order is on the horizon.”

Renfield then showed the hypnotized looking faces of the Nazi youth at the 1934 Nuremberg rally from a clip from Leni Riefenstahl’s film Triumph of the Will.

“Faces showing the expression of lack of thought en masse always advertise the advent of an emerging totalitarian order,” Renfield explained.

He then showed Black Lives Matter protesters tearing down Christmas lights off the Christmas tree in Chicago’s Millennium Park back in November 2015 shouting F**K France (because the Paris terrorist attacks of that time had taken the international news spotlight off of them- the black militant anarchists and hoodlums) and exclaiming at the Christmas tree and lights “This is part of the problem” prior to trying to tear down the Christmas tree itself.

Renfield continued, “Roughly about the same time the cultural Marxist living in the Vatican Pope Francis said when that city’s Christmas tree was lit, “We are close to Christmas. There will be lights, there will be parties, bright trees… it’s all a charade.”

Renfield paused and poured himself 1/10th of water from a pitcher into a glass.

He then brought from underneath the table a bottle of Glenlivet single malt Scotch whisky and poured the liquid into the glass making up the other 9/10ths.

“So,” Renfield continued after downing the glass of whisky, “we have the head of the Catholic Church calling the Birth of Christ a charade and anarchist thugs in the Black Lives Matter movement saying of Christmas trees, “This is part of the problem.” But when we realize that Pope Francis, Antifa, Black Lives Matter and their allies in what Pat Buchanan calls the Secular Socialist Taliban are just the vanguard of the emerging totalitarian ideology, all of this makes sense. They want to tear down all of the symbols of the past. Thus they want to tear down Confederate statues, they want to tear down Christmas trees and lights, Pope Francis wants to remove all vestiges of the old Latin Tridentine Mass and the brainless teachers of the Ontario Teachers’ Federation want to remove the name of Sir John A. MacDonald (Canada’s 1st Prime Minister) from all public schools in the Canadian province of Ontario. The Orpheum Theater in Memphis Tennessee is going to stop showing the 1939 classic film Gone With The Wind because it’s considered racially insensitive (although racially insensitive to whom I don’t know as I thought Hattie McDaniel’s character of Mammy the maid was the only one with brains in the entire motion picture). And the Mayor of New York City is seriously considering taking down statues of Christopher Columbus in the city. The emerging totalitarian ideology behind the Secular Socialist Taliban has no shortage of adherents or “useful idiots” for the cause.”

“And what is this emerging totalitarian ideology?” asked the Chairman of the UK Parliamentary Foreign Affairs Committee who was starting to feel thirsty for a glass of whisky for some reason.

“Marxism,” Renfield answered, “although in the 21st Century, it has become the ideology that dare not speak its name. The Fall of the Berlin Wall gave it a bad name. But it has come back. It has emerged again. And it’s in North America ironically where this emerging neo-Marxism has been born. As my friend Dracul Van Helsing noted, in Charlottesville Virginia you had the idiots who still worshiped the 20th Century Antichrist Adolf Hilter (those belonging to the White Nationalist Movement, the Neo-Nazis and the Ku Klux Klan) battling off against those idiots who will worship the 21st Century Antichrist- those people belonging to Antifa, Black Lives Matter, various syndicalist-anarchist groups and their allies in the emerging Secular Socialist Taliban. Dracul says these people will be the first in line to receive the Mark of the Beast. And following close behind will be most politicians.”

One MP on the committee stopped looking at his recently acquired tattoo when he heard Renfield make his last statement.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 26th
2017.

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The Venezuelan Vampiress Francesca Chavez

August 24, 2017 at 3:38 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez sat in her hotel room in Caracas Venezuela.

To live in a five-star hotel in Caracas was the only place worth living in Venezuela ever since the disastrous Nicolas Maduro assumed power as President of the country back in 2013.

Francesca Chavez herself was a 1st cousin 3 x removed of the late former Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

She herself had supported Chavez but had thought Maduro would turn out to be a Venezuelan Stalin.

And currently Maduro was well on his way to becoming one.

Francesca Chavez had become a vampiress back in April of this year after a night of erotic lesbian lovemaking with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Unbeknownst to either woman, the encounter had been filmed by Renfield R. Renfield (“strictly for sociological purposes” as Renfield explained to his friend Amadeus Emanon when he caught him watching the video).

Renfield and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had been in Venezuela at the time plotting a coup to overthrow Nicolas Maduro.

The trip and coup planning were cut short when British Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap UK General Election and Renfield returned home to run as a candidate for the British Transhumanist Party.

Now Britain’s MI-6 had sent Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to Caracas Venezuela on a fact finding mission to determine just how bad the political situation in Venezuela currently was.

Van Helsing entered the hotel room and saw the Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez sitting there:
Venezuelan Vampiress Francesca Chavez
Van Helsing stood there totally transfixed.

“Hello there,” Francesca threw back her blonde hair and smiled at him, “how shall we start?”.

“Well,” said Van Helsing, “you can start by taking me across your lap and giving me a bare bottom spanking.”

“All right,” she said somewhat taken aback, “if that’s how MI-6 conducts business these days.”

“It is under my watch,” Van Helsing answered.

So that is what then happened.

. . .

British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield was trying to contact Dracul Van Helsing on his mobile phone to get an update on the political situation in Venezuela prior to Renfield giving a speech to the UK Parliamentary House Committee On Foreign Affairs.

But he couldn’t get a hold of him.

“I imagine he’s up to something kinky with the Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez,” Renfield remarked angrily to Amadeus.

“And you’re naturally jealous because it isn’t you instead,” Amadeus remarked quietly while munching on potato chips.

“That’s besides the point,” Renfield harrumphed.

Renfield went down to the Committee meeting and instead of speaking on Venezuela, he spoke on the removal of Confederate statues in the U.S. instead.

Said Renfield,

Pat Buchanan has called the groups wanting to remove Confederate statues in the U.S. the Secular Socialistic Taliban (the Taliban of course blew up ancient statues of Buddha in Afghanistan and ISIS destroyed an ancient Temple at Palmyra). The Secular Socialistic Taliban operate under the delusion that the sole reason for the Civil War was slavery (ignoring Lincoln’s own statement that he himself would preserve slavery if it would preserve the Union- he only sought to openly abolish slavery after the Southern states voted to secede anyways)- conveniently forgetting that another reason for the Civil War was the huge tariffs northern states were slapping on products of southern states.
Now the Secular Socialistic Taliban are opening up their stupid brainless mouths up in Canada wanting to remove the name Sir John A. MacDonald from all schools in Ontario (Sir John A. MacDonald was Canada’s first Prime Minister) claiming MacDonald practiced genocide against Canada’s indigenous people- a lie of course. But then groups like Antifa and their Secular Socialistic Taliban allies believe lies as much as the Ku Klux Klan and Neo-Nazis do.

The remarks did not go over well with the rest of the MPs on the committee who like most politicians were gutless and spineless when it came to political correctness.

Renfield received an angry phone call from Canada’s liberal progressive cultural Marxist Prime Minister Justin Trudeau who did not like what was said in the remarks to the UK Foreign Affairs Committee.

Renfield told Mr. Trudeau, “Go fuck yourself.”

To which a stunned Justin Trudeau said, “I don’t think that’s physically possible.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 24th
2017.

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A Working Day In The Life of Renfield MP

August 18, 2017 at 6:56 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Politics, Vampire novel) ()

A Working Day In The Life of Renfield MP

Renfield R. Renfield had started his day by flying to Spain where he had been asked to deal with captured Islamic State terrorists who had been arrested in the wake of yesterday’s Barcelona van ramming in the Las Ramblas district.

He had brought along with him a piece of equipment and software invented by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

“Hello,” Renfield grinned at the ISIS prisoner when he saw him, “this Rocher Sensory Virtual Reality Machine was invented by my friend Dr. Cadbury Rocher at my suggestion. You’re probably wondering why you’re tied down to this table. That’s so we can put these VR goggles as well as extra wires on you without struggle. Now given that you dirtbags’ favourite method of terrorism these days is to run down people with motor vehicles, this VR mechanism controls the nerves and pain mechanisms in your body so when we put these goggles on you and run our program, you will see yourself being hit and run over by an approaching motor vehicle but thanks to the wires, you will also feel the same pain victims feel when their limbs are smashed and whatever else is broken when the vehicle hits them. However unlike real life victims who either die or their pain is eventually anesthetized in hospital, once you feel the pain for an agonizing half-hour, the program then ends, you’ll get temporary relief but the program then starts over again. And over again. And over again. So theoretically you can now enjoy the experience of getting hit and run over by a motor vehicle and feeling the subsequent pain of crushed limbs and broken ribs and spines and feelings of paralysis several hundred times a day… and night.”

The prisoner turned pale.

“Enjoy the show,” Renfield put the goggles on the man and flipped the switch.

. . .

Renfield’s explanation and the man’s screams were broadcast via invisible Tesla radio sound waves (that didn’t require the presence of physical loudspeakers) at various Islamic State training camps throughout the Middle East.

One angered Islamic State leader said, “We must kill this Renfield.”

“Wrong answer,” said the Commander of the British Army Brigade of Gurkhas who led the raid storming the camp and entering the tent with guns blazing

Those not killed were immediately bound and transferred to the facility in Spain where they themselves could enjoy Renfield R. Renfield’s Amazing Pain Sensation and Virtual Reality Smash Them Up Motor Derby Show.

. . .

“Political correctness is cultural Marxism,” Renfield R. Renfield explained to a BBC interviewer later in the day, “Cultural Marxism is the process articulated by early 20th Century Italian Communist theoretician Antonio Gramsci whereby to penetrate and infiltrate and dominate the culture is far more effective than revolution or armed struggle in bringing about a Marxist society.”

“Really?” said the BBC interviewer.

“Yes,” Renfield continued, “Gorbachev was a disciple of Gramsci’s ideas. That’s why he thought he could allow for Perestroika and glasnost and letting the Eastern European satellite nations go since the West had pretty well become Marxist atheistic materialistic in its thought anyways. Parts of the Western world might pay lip service to religion (the former Christianity that had once dominated it) but for the most part, most Church leaders in the West had become cultural Marxists in their thinking anyways. The most clear example of this is the Vatican itself where once the anti-Communist popes like John Paul II and Benedict XVI were out of the way, you now have a cultural Marxist like Pope Francis presiding over the Catholic Church.”

“But yet it sounds like cultural Marxism doesn’t call itself cultural Marxism, it calls itself political correctness instead,” the BBC interviewer pointed out.

“That’s right,” Renfield nodded, “ever since the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989 and the collapse of the USSR in 1991, Marxism has, in the early 21st Century, become the ideology that dare not speak its name. The reason being that Marxists were shown to be losers.
And everybody, no matter who they are or what political ideology they adhere to, hates being thought of as a loser. Gorbachev never in his wildest dreams probably suspected that Perestroika and glasnost would lead to the dissolution of the USSR itself. But that’s what happened. Marxism had lost the Cold War. And the term Marxist became synonymous with loser. So Marxists no longer called themselves Marxists- especially in the U.S.- they called themselves Progressive instead.”

“You have said that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are both cultural Marxists,” the interviewer noted.

“That is correct,” Renfield noted, “And that’s why Hillary’s supporters went so berserk when she lost the election. Because Marxists, whether cultural or armed militant, seem to be psychologically prone to great histrionics when they don’t get their own way. As can be seen by the actions of Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and Pol Pot when they killed millions upon millions of people they thought stood in the way of their creating the perfect classless society. American progressives calling themselves SJWs (Social Justice Warriors- when I first encountered the term on social media- I thought it stood for Single Jehovah’s Witnesses and I thought someone should really get these pathetic losers married off before they continue to make stupid comments on social media) throw temper tantrums on social networking sites. They gather together in groups to get their way. At one time brainless howling mobs used pitchforks and torches to go after people they disagreed with. Today they use Twitter tweets and Facebook postings.”

“And speaking of Twitter tweets,” the interviewer interjected, “what about Donald Trump?”.

“He comes across as the modern day equivalent of an ancient Roman Emperor,” Renfield answered, “somewhat insane and always making daily changes to his household staff.”

“Thank you for your time, Mr. Renfield,” said the BBC interviewer.

And such was a working day in the life of Renfield R. Renfield MP.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 18th
2017.

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Civil War II

August 16, 2017 at 3:42 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“I really don’t know what Kim Jong-un’s problem is,” Russian President Vladimir Putin explained to the Chinese Ambassador, “you just have to look at far-right idiots battling far-left idiots in the recent protests and demonstrations over Confederate statues in the U.S. to realize America is falling apart of its own accord. There’s no need to nuke the country.”

The past few days had seen clashes between Neo-Nazi and KKK scumbags and Antifa and Anarchist-Marxist scumbags in Charlottesville Virginia over the removal of Confederate General Robert E. Lee’s statue, Antifa terrorists and thugs forcibly tearing down a statue of a Confederate soldier in Durham, North Carolina and someone had spray painted vulgar graffiti on the Lincoln Memorial.

Putin added, “As Lincoln himself said, A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

. . .

Robur The Conquerer II sailed in his airship The Albatross II across America the same route that next week’s solar eclipse would take.

The man whose real name was Robur Pike was a genetic clone created from locks of hair of Confederate Brigadier-General Albert Pike by Nazi scientist Dr. Eckhart Fromm back in 1966.

He was pleased with the protests.

For General Robert E. Lee had thought slavery was a bad idea and wouldn’t survive in the long run, originally wanted to fight for the Union, in fact was Lincoln’s first choice for commanding the Union Army but only decided to join the Confederacy when his home state of Virginia voted to secede in April 1861 as Lee could not bring himself to fight against his home state.

But no doubt the riff raff fighting for both sides- the Neo-Nazi – KKK alliance and the Antifa-Anarchist-Marxist alliance to say nothing of all the brainless gutless politicians across the land who wanted to remove statues of Lee were too stupid and too ignorant of history to be aware of all this..

Lee had died saying, “So far from engaging in a war to perpetuate slavery, I am rejoiced that slavery is abolished. I believe it will be greatly for the interests of the South.”

Lee only had his U.S. citizenship restored posthumously in 1975.

While Confederate General Albert Pike (the man behind the founding of the KKK and the head of Scottish Rite Freemasonry in America) never lost his U.S. citizenship and is buried in the Masonic House of The Temple in Washington D.C.

He is also the only Confederate military officer with an outdoor statue in Washington DC.

He died after a life time of writing about Swastikas and the Aryan race and how they were created by a group of god men from the stars (ideas later adopted by the Nazis in Germany).

Pike’s ideas were especially thoroughly believed in by the SS (and his ideas of god men from the stars intervening in Darwinian evolution to create a superior breed of hominids promoted by the Ancient Aliens TV series on the History Channel though not its racist overtones).

History was unfair, Robur Pike chuckled to himself.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 16th
2017.

confederate statue removed

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Lilith, Asmodeus and Nimrod On Mount Moriah

August 14, 2017 at 7:43 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Lilith, Asmodeus and Nimrod On Mount Moriah

The Ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was standing atop Mount Moriah (known to Jews as the Temple Mount and known to Muslims as the Haram al-Sharif) alongside the demon Asmodeus and a little green frog called Nimrod (in his mortal life he had been ruler of the city of Babel and builder of the Tower of Babel but as a result of a vampiric kiss of life administered by Lilith gone awry due to a lack of vermouth, he had been brought back from the dead all right but his genetic make-up had changed and he had been turned into a frog as a result).

Lilith spoke,

When shall we three meet again?
In Moscow, Mecca or in Spain?

Asmodeus answered,

When the hurlyburly’s done,
When the Battle of Gog and Magog’s lost and won.

Nimrod (after using his tongue to capture one of Beelzebub’s passing flies) said,

That will be ere the set of sun.

Lilith: Where the place?

Asmodeus: Upon Mount Meggido.

Nimrod: There to meet with He Who Cannot Be Named (if I may borrow an expression from the Harry Potter books).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 14th
2017.
He

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Haiku About Car Ramming In Charlottesville Virginia At Aug. 12th 2017 Rally

August 13, 2017 at 8:49 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Poetry) (, , , , , )

Haiku About Car Ramming In Charlottesville Virginia At Aug. 12th 2017 Rally

Back in World War II
Nazis used V-1s, V-2s
today they use cars

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Michelangelo and The Next Big News Story of 2017

July 30, 2017 at 5:58 pm (Commentary, Culture, Entertainment, Humour, News, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Michelangelo and The Next Big News Story of 2017

Renfield R. Renfield asked Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster to once again use his psychic lobster antennae to see if he could pick up a news story from the future.

Renfield wondered what would be the next big news story of 2017?

Michelangelo raised his lobster antennae and tried to see what frequency he could pick up.

The frequency came through on the screen of the computer 💻 hooked up to Michelangelo’s antennae.

A news announcer’s voice came through on the screen, “Caitlyn Jenner made history today by publicly breastfeeding Kanye West in a Beverly Hills restaurant…”

Michelangelo then picked up a Twitter tweet from Donald Trump on the issue.

@RealDonaldTrump @Caitlyn_Jenner -Caitlyn, so disappointed in you. You’re putting dairy 🥛 farmers in Wisconsin out of business. Have you no shame? Have you no shame?

Renfield looked at the computer screen and sighed, “I’m sorry I asked that question.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 30th
2017.

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Qonzilqointec On 70th Anniversary of Roswell UFO Crash

July 7, 2017 at 6:50 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec On 70th Anniversary of Roswell UFO Crash

French UFO researcher Jacques Vallee was sipping cognac and reflecting on how it was 70 years ago today that a UFO flying saucer was said to have crashed on a ranch near the town of Roswell New Mexico.

Later the crashed vehicle was said to be just a downed weather balloon.

Although others had speculated that the crashed vehicle was a self-conscious self-aware Hoover vacuum cleaner that had a premonitory vision of the message implied in Richard Bach’s 1970s bestseller Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Vallee didn’t know what to think about the incident.

ET better phone the nearest American Automobile Association Auto Club, was that what happened ? Vallee wondered.

His housekeeper entered the room to tell Vallee about two phone calls for him.

Mikhail Gorbachev was on Line 1 and Pope Francis was on Line 2.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was currently attending the G-20 Summit in Hamburg Germany.

As he munched on his Hamburg hamburger alongside German Chancellor Angela Merkel, he reflected on the huge gaffe he had made in Ottawa at last weekend’s Canada Day 150th Anniversary.

He had mentioned every province and territory in Canada in his Canada Day speech except the province of Alberta (the home of famous Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing).

When he left the stage and was informed of his gaffe, he came back and said, “I love you, Alberta” and blew a kiss at the TV cameras causing a wide-eyed teen-aged girl in the crowd (whose name was Alberta) to swoon and faint.

Trudeau’s failure to mention Alberta had angered some Albertans who still remembered Justin’s father Pierre Elliot Trudeau’s energy wars of the 1970s and early 1980s with then Alberta Premier Peter Lougheed over control of the province’s oil and natural gas resources.

Pierre Trudeau’s National Energy Program (NEP) had siphoned billions of dollars from Alberta’s provincial coffers into his own federal government’s treasury.

After bringing in the NEP and figuratively giving Albertans the finger, Pierre Trudeau then literally gave Albertans the finger while crossing through the Province’s Rocky Mountains by train.

Justin Trudeau’s neglect in mentioning Alberta by name at the Canada 150 celebrations in the Canadian nation’s capital of Ottawa struck some Albertans as the son’s equivalent of the father’s giving them the finger.

But really, Justin reflected, it was an accident.

An accident caused by the ET gray from Nibiru named Gali-Gula making funny faces at him while he was speaking.

Justin had promised to legalize marijuana during the 2015 Canadian federal election campaign- a promise which won him numerous seats in British Columbia’s Lower Mainland.

After winning the election, Justin started his own personal one man investigation into the after effects of smoking marijuana.

And whenever he smoked pot, those were the only times that Gali-Gula (the ET gray from Nibiru whose body was possessed by the ghost of the late earthling ancient Roman Emperor Caligula) appeared to him.

Justin had resolved not to smoke any pot ahead of the Canada 150 celebrations.

That way he wouldn’t be seeing Gali-Gula and he also wouldn’t anger the crowd by eating up all the hot dogs at the hot dog stand when he got the munchies.

The trouble was when he got up on the stage, some in the crowd were celebrating Canada’s 150th birthday by smoking pot themselves and Justin had the misfortune of inhaling much of the smoke.

So then Gali-Gula appeared to him just as he was about to mention Alberta by name.

Gali-Gula stuck two fingers in both his ears and then stuck his tongue out making a funny face at the Canadian Prime Minister.

This action on the ET gray’s part totally discombobulated Justin and he forgot to mention Alberta.

Later when Justin came back and said, “I love you, Alberta”, Gali-Gula decided to fly to Alberta and land on the UFO Flying Saucer landing pad in the town of Saint Paul, Alberta built in Canada’s centennial year of 1967.

Gali-Gula’s UFO driving narrowly missed making an omelette out of the world’s largest Ukrainian coloured Easter egg near the town of Vegreville, Alberta and narrowly missed making shredded duck out of the statue of the world’s largest duck outside the town of Andrew, Alberta.

“So,” Chancellor Angela said to Prime Minister Justin over his hamburger rousing him from his thoughts, “I said to Donald, either pee or get off the pot.”

. . .

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec walked the streets of Roswell New Mexico.

She wore a black dress in mourning for the lives lost at Roswell 70 years ago.

Her Samsung mobile phone rang.

She answered.

It was Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing phoning.

They chatted.

Suddenly Qonzilqointec could hear the sounds of gunfire coming from the other end of the phone.

“Dracul, what’s happening?” Qonzilqointec asked.

“Some assassins tried to shoot me,” Dracul answered, “but I shot and killed them first with my Uzi sub machine gun that was given to me as a gift by the host of the Israeli reality TV series Battle of The Rabbis: Orthodox vs. Reformed vs. Conservative vs. Golda’s Uncle’s Lox and Cream Cheese Bagel Worshiping Cult.”

“Who were the assassins?” Qonzilqointec asked, “Agents sent by an evil Transylvanian baron from his lair in the Carpathians?”.

“No,” Dracul replied, “They were operatives from the CPL.”

“CPL?” Qonzilqointec queried.

“The Calgary Public Library,” Dracul answered, “They claimed I forgot to return a book. But it wasn’t true. The only book I ever borrowed from them was an Archie comic book graphic novel called Afterlife With Archie about Jughead Jones leading a zombie apocalypse attack on the community of Riverdale. But I returned it. I even have a receipt slip showing that I did. But Calgary Public Library operatives’ instructions are to shoot first and ask questions later.”

“I see,” Qonzilqointec sighed sadly.

“So you’re at Roswell eh?” Dracul asked.

“Yes,” Qonzilqointec nodded, “wondering what happened here 70 years ago?”.

“Maybe some poor snook ET gray forgot to return a book to the Calgary Public Library so CPL operatives fired a surface-to-air missile that hit his craft just above Roswell New Mexico,” Dracul speculated.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 7th 2017.

Qonziqointec In Mourning For Roswell Crash Victims
The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in mourning for the victims of the Roswell crash.

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Orwell’s 1984 Has Arrived In 2017

June 27, 2017 at 3:41 pm (Commentary, Culture, Literature, Personal essays) (, , , , )

I’m currently sitting here in a coffee shop with free wi-fi having borrowed an honest looking stranger’s laptop to use for a while.

Hopefully he is honest and this laptop won’t remember my passwords.

I don’t know if he believed my story but I think to his shock he did.

Because the way I talked, I think he realized my story did have the ring of truth to it even though what happened to me 24 hours ago feels (and will probably read to you the reader) like a dystopian sci-fi novel.

Judging from his expression, I don’t think he thinks I’m a crazy person either.

He seems to be thinking “What the Hell sort of world are we now living in?” judging from the expression on his face.

Since I’m borrowing a stranger’s laptop, I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish this blog post today (I’m starting it just after 2:30 PM Mountain Daylight Time June 25th 2017) as he may have elsewhere to go in the next hour or so.

But I’m writing this blog post in the form of an email to myself which I will then save as a draft if I don’t finish it before the gentleman wants to leave.

The long and short of it is I can no longer use the computers in the Calgary Public Library- my only source for being able to use computers as I do not own a computer nor do I no longer have a smart phone (as it was stolen from me back in January).

The past couple of months as I’ve been writing, I’ve noticed I’ve attracted an incredible amount of new readers.

Since I don’t really like talking about myself much (I’ve always been an introvert), I spend most of my time at this blog Dracul Van Helsing writing the chapters in my on-line vampire novel, writing short stories or writing poems or haikus (as all my long time readers can probably attest to).

Only when something traumatic happens like not being able to find a job after months of searching, being evicted from my apartment, winding up in a homeless shelter or having my smart phone stolen off me while I slept on a mat in a homeless shelter and then what happened yesterday (which my mind still has trouble adjusting to- I feel like I’ve fallen asleep and can’t wake up- that somehow I’m trapped in the middle of a dystopian sci-f film about an Orwellian future).

Most of my new readers (who have joined my blog the past couple of months) would probably be shocked to realize that I am homeless and jobless. (that’s why I’ve had to use the computers in the Calgary Public Library to do my writing).

I’m currently living in a transitional housing facility for single homeless men (which is a step above a homeless shelter) and getting my rent paid for by a disability income supplement I’m now on through Alberta Social Services.

I don’t drink or smoke or take drugs (and that’s been the case all my life).

How I wound up jobless and homeless is a very long story.

But for those who’d like to know my background of how I’ve wound up in this predicament, please read the following past blog posts where I’ve explained what’s happened to me in the past:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2015/11/17/please-email-vancouvers-mayor/

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2016/07/27/im-in-a-homeless-shelter/

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2017/01/04/theft-in-a-homeless-shelter/

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2017/02/17/homeless-and-suicidal-in-calgary/

(Please note that the bank account behind my GoFundMe page that I mention in some of those blog posts is no longer operational since that bank account has now been shut down plus I no longer own an apartment to pay rent to).

I hope some of my readers will take the time to read those blog posts.

To help them realize that all homeless people cannot be painted all with one brush.

I think the number of new readers I have who enjoy my writing would probably be shocked to know that I am homeless and jobless.

Well I’m now telling them.

I’m Christopher who writes vampire novel chapters and poems and short stories and haikus here in this blog post which I sign off at the end of each blog post saying written by Christopher and I then give the date on which I wrote it.

One of my new readers Aak fictionspawn has a friend and fellow blogger who wrote a short story called The Shoemaker Who Made Wooden Toys. I forget her name -the woman who wrote the story- but I strongly identify with her character.

Like the character in that story I’m just brimming with new ideas and insights but a world whose sole concern is with business and making money in the usual time honoured manner (no wanting to accept or hire people who think outside the box even though the great Steve Jobs of Apple started out as a man who thought outside the box), I don’t fit into this current world.

And that’s why I’m jobless and homeless.

Although someone somewhere has obviously taken note of my writing and doesn’t like what I’m writing and furthermore sees me as a threat to what they’re doing.

And that’s the reason why I can no longer use computers in the Calgary Public Library system.

And now we’ll get to the main point of this particular blog post:

First off, I’ll start out by saying that I do believe in God.

At one time, I wouldn’t have thought that people who believe in God would ever seriously contemplate suicide.

But after the sheer Hell I’ve been through the past 7 years since my dad died from cancer (the Hell I’ve described in the blog posts I posted above there), I’m sad to say that there have been several times the past 7 years where I’ve seriously contemplated suicide.

This may be due to the severe clinical depression I was diagnosed with by a doctor when I arrived in Calgary last July from Vancouver.

A clinical depression brought on by the PTSD she says I experienced after my dad died and then suddenly finding myself in a legal battle with my sister over his estate. That PTSD of course remained undiagnosed and untreated for years leading to the severe condition that my depression is in today.

Bearing that in mind with my belief in God, I’ve had this strong overwhelming urge to write and continue writing since last November.

When I got an eviction notice from the town house I was living in last December and spent a lot of time away from my writing to search for a new place to live (which I didn’t find since Christmas and the pre-Christmas season isn’t exactly an ideal time to search for new accommodation) and finally ended up again in a homeless shelter on January 1st New Year’s Day this year where my iPhone was then stolen off of me in that same shelter back on January 3rd.

So without an iPhone where I could do my writing using the free wi-fi in coffee shops, I was then forced to do all my writing using the computers in the Calgary Public Library.

I’ve not been able to afford a new smartphone and I definitely can’t afford a new computer (be it tablet, laptop or PC) since I have to use my disability income allowance (which is only about $750 a month) to pay for rent and food.

And of course one could only use the computers in the Calgary Public Library for a maximum of 2 hours a day (although that has now been increased to 3 hours in the summer when many people are no longer indoors using the computers but unfortunately I can no longer do that).

A friend and fellow blogger Daniel (a former employee of DARPA in the U.S.) once told me in reference to my writing that probably a lot of intelligence agencies throughout the world would be or are interested in my writing since Daniel says that even though I write fiction, I often show very astute geopolitical analysis in my writing and can often predict some major geopolitical events before they happen.

This can often happen in the medium of writing.

For example the 1898 novella The Wreck of The Titan by Morgan Robertson was about an ocean liner called The Titan which sinks in the North Atlantic after striking an iceberg. The Titan and its sinking was very similar to the sinking of the real life passenger ship RMS Titanic which sank 14 years later in 1912.

Both Titan and Titanic sank in the month of April in the North Atlantic and there were not enough lifeboats for all the passengers. The Titan was 800 ft. long and the Titanic was 882 ft. long. The speed of the Titan was 25 knots and the speed of the Titanic was 22.5 knots.

Both were triple screw propeller ships. Both were described as “unsinkable”. The Titan was 45,000 tons and the Titanic was 46,000 tons.

Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World has been described as a prophetic novel.

And as the title of my blog post suggests, George Orwell’s 1984 has seemed to arrive in the year 2017.

Although what happened to me yesterday (Saturday June 24th 2017) might better be seen as a combination of Orwell’s 1984 meets Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451. Although instead of burning and banning books, certain individuals are now prohibited from using the computers in the public library.

In terms of my own writing, I was shocked when I read the manuscript for my 1st vampire novel The Vampiress With Amnesia (which I wrote between April 2009 and July 2010) last year. The novel is now available for sale on Amazon.

Since I do not know how to convert text to a PDF format (which is required for upload to Amazon), my friend and fellow blogger Daniel (the former DARPA employee) did it for me.

He then emailed me the entire PDF manuscript to look over and check for corrections.

Which I did early last year (2016).

I of course had not read that novel in 6 years.

I was shocked to discover back in 2010 to see that I had written a chapter about a group of cardinals plotting to force Pope Benedict XVI to abdicate the Papacy. I even described the methods they would use to do it. And how the German magazine Der Spiegel and the U.S. newsmagazine TIME would be used for their purposes.

Because at the time I re-read my novel, there were stories starting to break in the news media about how that is exactly what happened with the papal resignation of Pope Benedict XVI.

(And that was a cliffhanger about Pope Benedict XVI because I had to stop writing and save this blog post as an email draft at that point because the gentleman whose laptop I was using finally had to leave. Today Monday June 25th 217, I found another honest looking person with a laptop and a mouse (because I only know how to use a laptop with a mouse. I don’t know how to use a laptop without a mouse) and I’m currently using their laptop to continue writing this post which I’m starting just past 3 PM Mountain Standard Time).

Journalists such as Antonio Socci and others discovered the existence of a group of Cardinals called the Saint Gallen Group who did in fact force the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI and promote the election of Pope Francis.

Bearing that in mind, I’ve often wondered whether something I’m currently writing is unbeknownst to me foretelling another certain geopolitical trend that someone very powerful wants kept quiet.

At first I thought this was just my own imagination running wild.

Brought on by the fact that a couple of months ago, the computers in the branch of the public library where I did most of my writing started getting hit en masse by viruses and hackers.

One day when I went there, there were signs put up on over 1/3 of the computers saying Not Available For Service.

I overheard one of the librarians remarking to a library patron that this was strange because none of the other branches in the Calgary Public Library system seemed to be undergoing the massive computer problems that this branch was undergoing.

So in my imagination (brought on by the occasional teasing I get from my friend Daniel and another friend Timothy who lives in South Africa that intelligence services across the world are profoundly disturbed by what I write), I thought that maybe the reason was someone powerful didn’t like what I was writing and so was targeting the computers in the Public Library branch where I do most of my writing.

But I didn’t really take it seriously.

I just used it as an imaginative fancy brought on by the pair of Robert Ludlum novels that I was reading at the time.

But that all changed last Saturday June 24th at around 4:30 PM just as I was about to post my vampire novel chapter entitled Belvedere Discovers His Enchantress.

I was in my WordPress editing function at the time.

I had just copied and pasted my vampire novel chapter from my email to my WordPress dashboard of posts.

I had just finished selecting the categories and my tags for my post and was about to copy and paste the URL for the photo I was using for the chapter when these two librarians with very sinister looking expressions on their faces walked up to me.

Said the female librarian with a Russian accent (and no I’m not making this up- she did have a Russian accent- by the time the conversation was finished- I was imagining she was probably one of Vladimir Putin’s most evil FSB agents), “We couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been sitting at this computer all afternoon.”

I didn’t know that it was a crime to sit at a public library computer all afternoon but maybe it is in this Orwellian world that’s starting to emerge in 2017.

“What time did you get here?” Russian Gestapo Girl asked me.

“2:00,” I said.

What business was it of theirs, what time I got there, I don’t know.

“We have had concerns expressed to us about the blog you’re writing on our computers,” said the middle-aged librarian with glasses and moustache who looked like the head of the most evil Black Ops operation within the American CIA.

“Blog? How do you know that I’m writing a blog? Are you monitoring what people are doing on their computers here?” I asked.

“We’re not at liberty to say,” Big Brother’s Little Brother answered.

“May I see your library card?” Russian Gestapo Girl asked me. (No doubt back in the USSR, she said to people, “Your papers please.”)

I handed her my library card whereupon she promptly pounced on it and grabbed it and said, “I’m canceling this card and blocking you from using our public library computers.”

“What? What for? For what reason?” I demanded to know.

“We have had concerns expressed to us by many about the blog you’re writing,” said the Russian FSB librarian.

“Who is expressing these concerns? And what are their specific concerns?” I asked.

“We’re not at liberty to say,” Big Brother’s Little Brother expressed the same brainless mantra over again.

“Shut down your computer,” the Gestapo bitch then directed.

“Let me finish posting this blog post first,” I said.

“No, people have expressed concerns about the blog you’re writing,” Gestapo Bitch was starting to turn that line into her personal mantra.

“And of course you’re not at liberty to say?” I said looking at Big Brother’s Little Brother who had such an intense look of stupidity on his face that one could almost take it for a strange form of beauty.

“That is correct,” he said sounding exactly like a robot talking.

“Are you going to shut this computer down?” Gestapo Bitch demanded to know.

“No!” I said looking directly at her.

Both Russian Gestapo Girl and Big Brother’s Little Brother stood there with stupefied stupid looking expressions on their faces.

Then they walked away.

No doubt off to call the cops to report me for defending freedom and liberty in Canada when of course enlightened people such as themselves knew that for the good of everyone, Canada should really be part of the Orwellian Brave New World New World Order.

I don’t know who or what didn’t like the blog I was writing.

What were their concerns?

Was I promoting terrorism?

Of course not.

I’m against terrorism whether it’s of the ISIS variety or of the neo-Nazi or Klu Klux Klan variety or of any variety.

Do I promote pornography?

Of course not.

Unless of course they consider posting photos of beautiful women (who are among the many loves of my characters Dracul Van Helsing and Renfield R. Renfield) pornography.

If that’s the case, then they’re very much like the group of women who called themselves The Anti-Sex League in George Orwell’s novel 1984.

So now I’ve finished writing this blog post.

And now I’ll have to edit it.

But the person whose laptop this is now has to leave.

So I’ll hopefully be able to edit this tomorrow.

And get it posted tomorrow.

To my readers, this may be the last blog post of mine you’ll be able to read for awhile.

Because I can no longer use the computers in the public library.

And I can’t keep borrowing laptops from people in coffee shops no matter how honest they look- because chances are I’d probably run into somebody eventually who would keep track of the passwords I’d use.

And I can’t afford to buy a new smartphone or tablet or laptop or PC of my own.

There is a program in Calgary called CLIC (Computers For Low-Income Calgarians).

What the program does is if anybody has a working smartphone or tablet or laptop or PC that they no longer use (because they’ve probably upgraded to a new one), they can then donate those to this program and CLIC will then give the smartphone or tablet or laptop or PC to a low-income Calgarian who can’t afford to buy one of their own.

I was told this by my social worker a couple of months ago.

The program has about a 6 month waiting list she said.

So I applied right after I was told.

That was 2 months ago.

So technically I have another 4 months to wait.

Of course if the waiting list at the time I applied was then even more than 6 months, I’ll have even longer to wait.

To be quite frank, I don’t know if I can wait that long.

The biggest antidote to combating my PTSD inspired depression I’ve found has been my writing.

My writing and my immediately posting it to a blog so I can judge reaction to my writing.

Judging from the number of Likes I get on my Blog posts each day and the number of new followers and new readers I get each day, I realize that my blog is making an impact.

It’s my writing and my blogging that seems to give me meaning and purpose in life.

If I don’t feel I have any meaning or purpose in my life, I don’t see how I’ll be able to successfully overcome my depression.

When my dad was dying from cancer, he made me promise on his deathbed that I would continue my writing (which I did).

“Continue your writing, Christopher,” he told me, “your writing is extremely important to the world and I really mean that. So continue writing, Christopher. Always continue writing. You may not realize how important your writing is but I do. Always continue writing.”

So that’s what I’ve done.

And in the past 7 years since he died, it’s been my writing and my blogging which has given me the greatest sense of relief from my despair and the greatest sense of meaning and purpose in life.

Now my avenues for that writing and blogging have slowly been erased away.

I was forced to abandon my PC and my laptop (with a mouse) in my Vancouver apartment when I was evicted because I couldn’t fit them into my small suitcases.

My smartphone was stolen off me while I slept on the mat in a homeless shelter this past January.

And now I’ve been blocked from using the computers in the Calgary Public Library because Person or Persons Unknown have concerns about the blog I’m writing..

What person or persons unknown?

The U.S. National Security Agency?

Britain’s MI-6?

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau? (Because I’ve written vampire novel chapters where I have an ET gray from the planet Nibiru called Gali-Gula (who’s possessed by the spirit of the late Roman Emperor Caligula) appear to him and give him advice whenever he’s smoking marijuana?).

Is what I considered fictional in that case reality?

Or maybe it’s Hillary Clinton?

Hillary: Bill, what’s that blog you keep reading all the time?

Bill: You mean Dracul Van Helsing?

The next day:

Hillary: Bill, is the reason you keep reading that blog is because you enjoy looking at all those photos of beautiful women in alluring outfits who are among the many loves of the characters Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield R. Renfield and the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set?

Bill: Of course not. I read the blog to get Christopher’s insightful geopolitical analysis into the current world situation.

Hillary: The same as the time when I found all those Playboy magazines in your desk shortly after you were first elected Governor of Arkansas and you told me that you had just bought them to read the articles?

Bill (grinning): Exactly.

I do not know what are the reasons or who objected to my blog.

But it was someone powerful enough to get the Calgary Public Library system to ban me from using their computers.

My dad thought my writing would someday have impact on the world.

And I guess he was right.

Who would have thought writing a series of novels where I combine vampire legends and ghost stories with Greek and Norse and Egyptian mythology thrown together with current geopolitical happenings would get me banned?

But I guess it did.

And yet somehow I think my father would be pleased.

He’d say, “You’ve upset the right people, Christopher. You’ve upset the right people. And you’ve got the right people for your readers and blog followers.”

-A personal essay written by Christopher
June 25th, June 26th and June 27th
2017.

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