Michelangelo’s Vision of Donald Trump On Judgement Day

December 10, 2017 at 5:00 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of Donald Trump On Judgement Day

In his aquarium at the Set Enterprises lab, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision of what would happen to Donald Trump on Judgement Day.

Trump: What sort of total loser totally fucked-up creator God casts a great individual such as myself into Hell?

“That would be me,” Christ replied doing an excellent voice impersonation of comedian Bob Newhart in delivering that particular line.

Trump’s agonizing screams can be heard as he plunges downward.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 10th
2017.

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Charles Dickens and Christmas

November 24, 2017 at 8:24 pm (Commentary, Culture, History, Literature, Personal essays) (, , , )

Charles Dickens and Christmas

I was just reading a review of the released movie Charles Dickens: The Man Who Invented Christmas.

It looks like it will be quite a good film.

Although I think a more appropriate title would be Charles Dickens: The Man Who Re-Invented Christmas.

Because Christmas 🎄 was actually an important holiday in England and celebrated widely until the advent of Puritanism and Oliver Cromwell in the 17th Century.

The monarchy was restored to Britain in 1660 and although Stuart monarchs may have celebrated Christmas, it was a day no longer marked with much commemoration among the general populace.

Hanoverian England and the advent of the Industrial Revolution saw a further decline in the celebration of Christmas.

The idea of Christmas as a special day to celebrate with family and friends the birth of Christ appeared to be on the verge of dying out in England.

There were some inklings of a possible restoration of Christmas on the landscape.

Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha’s marriage to Queen Victoria in 1840 had led the Prince to bring German Lutheran Christmas customs with him to Buckingham Palace such as the idea of candles, lights and decorated Christmas 🎄 trees.

The High Church Anglo-Catholic priest and hymn writer John Mason Neale was also writing Christmas carols during this time period- Good Christian Men Rejoice, Good King Wenceslas and O Come O Come Emmanuel.

But it was a writer heavily in debt who self-published the book A Christmas Carol in 1843 who turned things around.

Mr. Charles Dickens.

His collection of characters in that work – Ebenezer Scrooge, Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim- have become immortal in themselves.

The ghosts of Christmas past, present and future as well as the ghost of Jacob Marley are probably the most famous ghosts in all English literature.

Dickens’ work would greatly influence the modern Western celebration of Christmas such as family gatherings, seasonal food and drink, parties, dancing, games and a festive generosity of spirit.

All things now associated with Christmas.

In that sense, Dickens did invent Christmas.

But the idea of family Christmas celebrations and Ebenezer Scrooge’s redemption would not have been possible without the Birth of a certain Babe in a manger in Bethlehem 2000 years ago.

Puritan sourpusses such as Oliver Cromwell might have wanted to do away with celebrating Christmas.

The Industrial Revolution with its denial of the essential dignity and self-worth of the individual human person might try to kill the concept of humanity being created in God’s image.

Machines might be seen as capable of replacing a human work force.

And technology might be seen as capable of replacing God.

But for Dickens, the realm of the Spirit was very much alive.

It has been said that “the (Holy) Spirit moveth us in sundry times and places”.

In London in 1843, Charles Dickens felt moved in spirit.

And gave us his masterpiece novella A Christmas Carol.

The celebration of Christ’s birth in the world was not to be denied to humanity.

Today Christmas has turned into an orgy of shopping and commercialization.

The focus has become “What am I getting for Christmas?”.

It is the hidden gift under wrapping that has become the focus of most attention on Christmas morn rather than the Godhead become openly manifest in human flesh.

It looks like the world could use another Charles Dickens to come and remind us what Christmas is truly all about.

-A personal essay
written by Christopher
Friday November 24th
2017.

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A Morning With Renfield and Amadeus

November 15, 2017 at 4:04 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , )

A Morning With Renfield and Amadeus

Amadeus Emanon was sitting at the table in the kitchen of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion.

He was watching a BBC news clip on his Samsung Galaxy tablet.

The clip was an excerpt from a speech that his friend Renfield R. Renfield MP had delivered in the House of Commons yesterday.

In the clip, Renfield said, “The reason George H.W. Bush Sr. said “Read my lips” is he was trying to distract people from watching where he was putting his hands.”

Renfield came into the kitchen for breakfast 🍳 and Amadeus promptly switched off his Samsung Galaxy.

“A friend of ours from Western Canada emailed me a photo of Calgary this morning,” said Amadeus, “I noticed a lot of hoar frost around in the picture.”

“Are you talking about what gleams off trees 🌲 in the winter ❄️ or a surplus of prostitutes with an icy disposition?” Renfield asked.

And so the conversation went on in a similar vein over the munching of toast with marmalade and bacon 🥓 and eggs 🍳.

Amadeus put the radio on to listen to BBC World News.

At that moment from his aquarium in the Set Enterprises laboratories, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster psychically transmitted via his lobster antennae an extraterrestrial UFO radio news broadcast done over Planet Earth thousands of years ago.

The broadcast was picked up on the kitchen’s antique vintage 1930s RCA radio.

Intoned the ET radio news announcer via Michelangelo’s simultaneous English language translation, “Pride Parades in the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah came to a sudden and abrupt halt earlier today when fire and brimstone fell from the sky disintegrating both cities…”

And such was a typical morning breakfast in the life of Renfield and Amadeus.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 15th
2017.

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Michelangelo’s Vision of Alberta Premier Rachel Notley and The Alberta Secular Socialist Taliban

November 6, 2017 at 5:48 pm (Commentary, Culture, News, Politics, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of Alberta Premier Rachel Notley and The Secular Socialist Taliban

The Himalayan golden cobra serpent who called himself Maitreya shapeshifted into a Tibetan Buddhist monk and took a guided tour of the Vatican.

Meanwhile at the Set Enterprises laboratory in London, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of a cabinet meeting in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada involving Alberta’s New Democratic Party Premier Rachel Notley and her cabinet.

The group of quasi-Marxists who governed Alberta were planning to bring in legislation that would outlaw Alberta’s Catholic School System from teaching Catholicism and the Bible in Catholic Schools.

As the Cyndi Lauper song True Colors played on the intercom throughout Set Enterprises Laboratories, Michelangelo could see Rachel Notley having her hair parted in Adolf Hitler like fashion.

She also had grown an Adolf Hitler like moustache under her nose.

“Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein is a true example of a practicing Catholic,” Der Female Fuehrer Rachel Notley prejudicially announced as she began her cabinet meeting.

“I have to wholeheartedly agree,” agreed Alberta Education Minister David Eggen who had gone from blondish bookish looking nerd with glasses 👓 to looking like the spitting image of Nazi Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebbels in Michelangelo’s vision.

“We must also outlaw adult only apartment buildings in the province,” mooed a female member of Notley’s cabinet who had obviously never heard of the words Weight Watchers in her entire life.

“Agreed,” Eggen chortled, “the greatest threat to any totalitarian society like that which we’re planning for this province is having writers and artists with a free mind being allowed to create and express themselves openly. Usually such individuals like peace and quiet and don’t like to listen to the voices of screaming whining little brats. We’ll make sure they have nowhere to hide. They’ll be forced to listen to the voices of screaming whining little brats if they can’t afford to live in a house. Since we’re going to eliminate adults only apartment buildings.”

Notley chortled like the cronish form of the Greek goddess Hecate in heat, “It’s such a delight living in a dictatorship. Provided of course you’re one of the dictatorial elite.”

Her cabinet bellowed and mooed in agreement.

“I declare this meeting adjourned,”
Notley banged her gavel.

The female members of the cabinet rushed to a Lesbian All-Star Wrestling 🤼‍♀️ Show being held in town while the male members departed to a gay sauna.

Michelangelo’s vision ended with a new music group who called themselves George Orwell’s Animal Farm singing those old Gordon Lightfoot song lyrics, “Alberta bound, Alberta bound, It’s good to be Alberta bound…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 6th
2017.

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Michelangelo’s Vision of Donald Trump’s Proclamation of Himself As A God

November 2, 2017 at 3:27 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of Donald Trump’s Proclamation of Himself As A God

Renfield R. Renfield the newly elected British Transhumanist MP had had a busy day.

He discussed Brexit with British Prime Minister Theresa May.

He discussed the Spanish crisis with British Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.

He discussed with Opposition Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn a private member’s bill to get the government to build safer low cost Community Housing in the wake of the Grenfell Tower fire tragedy.

He welcomed into his office a marble bust of Sir Winston Churchill that he had commissioned as he had decided that Churchill was the British politician he most wanted to emulate.

He had a phone conversation with German Chancellor Angela Merkel in which he said that it would be best for NATO if they booted the Turkey of despotic would be Ottoman Sultan Recep Tayyip Erdogan out of the Alliance saying it was not a good thing to have a “demagogic despotic radical Islamist wolf learning NATO’s secrets.”

He received a confidential email from Russian President Vladimir Putin in which the Russian leader invited the possible future Prime Minister to be his puppet.

Renfield in his response told Putin to go blyad himself as “I’m no Donald Trump.”

And speaking of Donald Trump, Renfield went down to the Set Enterprises laboratory to consult with Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster to see what Donald Trump was up to today.

Michelangelo used his visualization technique and then transmitted the images and sounds via his psychic lobster antennae to Renfield’s iPad tablet.

Donald Trump stood in front of a large mirror and proclaimed to his image, “You are a god, Donald, and not a mere mortal. What other person on the face of the earth can force NFL players to bend the knee with the Imperial decree of a mere Twitter tweet?”.

Michelangelo then received a vision from the future – the year 2020- showing a Donald Trump Re-Election commercial.

The imagery of the commercial showed dozens of NFL players on their knees in front of their respective benches as the TV commercial’s announcer solemnly intoned, “At the name of Donald every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Donald Trump is Lord.”

Well, Renfield thought to himself, I should upload Michelangelo’s visions to social media. That will be one surefire way of getting NFL players to stand for the U.S. National Anthem in the future.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 2nd
2017.

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90 Winters: A Poem

October 27, 2017 at 5:12 pm (Biographical, Commentary, History, Life, Obituaries, Personal essays, Poetry) (, , , )

90 Winters: A Poem

The Medicine Man Chief of the Blackfoot Nation smoked his pipe
and looked out across the distant prairies at the distant hills
He then began his tale,
90 winters ago
Gitche Manitou sent a wise soul into this world
The same month that talking motion pictures were born
Al Jolson had said, “Wait a minute… you ain’t heard nothing yet”
A few weeks later a baby uttered his first cries under the vast blue dome of an Alberta prairie sky
A child who learned to read when he was 3 years old
Reading the Bible and Shakespeare and Charles Dickens was his fare
When he was 4, his father went away from the farm to work,
that same winter his mother took ill with scarlet fever
And he was raised that winter by a Cree First Nations Medicine woman
She taught him the power of herbs and roots
and how to heal using them
He started his public schooling at the age of 5
in a one room schoolhouse
called Elba
a school built in 1914
on the 100th anniversary of Napoleon Bonaparte’s 1st exile
his exile to the island of Elba
In 1936 at the age of 9
George had determined that Adolf Hitler
was a bad person
so he was going to build himself an airplane
and fly over to Berlin Germany
and bump him off
like Saint George slaying the evil dragon

He built himself an airplane all right
a Wright Brothers style aircraft
much to his family’s and farm neighbours’ amazement
He wisely sat on the very back seat of the plane
as the plane’s navigator
while his elder brother sat in the front seat of the plane
as the pilot
That way if their lift-off was unsuccessful
as they took off the hill over the
Rosebud Creek valley
and the plane landed in the creek
it would be his elder brother who wound up first in the Creek
George wisely reasoned
while he George would have time to jump off the back seat
before the plane landed in the Creek

Well the plane never made it to Germany
not even to Newfoundland
not even as far as the Alberta-Saskatchewan border
but George’s elder brother Tom
certainly enjoyed a very close up look of Rosebud Creek
right in the creek
as George wisely determined after take-off that the plane
wouldn’t reach its destination
so George wisely jumped off the back seat
as the plane made it to the ground
heading straight for the creek
with pilot Tom in the front seat
cursing and swearing
and prophetically foretelling
the language and dialogue
on most TV programs in
the early 21st Century

The 4-Minute mile was not broken by Roger Bannister
at the 1954 British Empire Games in Vancouver
but by George on that day in 1936
as he sought to escape
his dripping wet and deeply agitated elder brother
who chased after him from the creek

George reached the safety of his parents’ house in time.

In the early 1940s as a teenager, George studied palaeontology under the great palaeontologist Dr. Charles Mortram Sternberg in the Red Deer River Badlands
In the mid-1940s, he studied Science and Engineering at Mount Royal College in Calgary
In the late ’40s and early ’50s,
he studied History and English Literature at the University of Alberta
He finally settled on becoming a teacher
passing on his knowledge and wisdom to future generations of children
In the 1960s at Sherwood Heights Junior High School
he and his students built small rockets
that went soaring high into the skies
above that place of Alberta suburbia known as Sherwood Park
A sight that startled many Sherwood Park residents
who thought they were under Soviet missile attack

The principal of the school instructed George not to build
rockets that soared so high
Among George’s students was future astronomer and physicist
Dr. Paul Hickson
who pioneered work in the reflecting mercury liquid telescope

Among George’s students in the ’70s was future palaeontologist Michael Caldwell
who discovered the world’s first fossil of a flying snake in Israel

In the late ’80s George retired from active teaching
and was hired by the Alberta Department of Education
to give training workshops
to beginning Science teachers

In the ’90s, George began painting pictures
and mastered that medium
In the early 21st Century, George
began research for a 3-volume history of Western Canada
that he was going to write
In June of 2010, he was half-way through the 2nd volume of his 3-volume history of Western Canada
when he died from cancer.

90 winters ago, this man was born.

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday October 27th 2017
on what would have been
his father George’s
90th birthday.

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Statements of Insincerity Made In 2 Different Time Periods: One In The Movies and The Other In Real Life

October 26, 2017 at 3:51 pm (Commentary, Culture, Movies, News) (, )

Statements of Insincerity Made In 2 Different Time Periods: One In The Movies and The Other In Real Life

Captain Louis Renault (in the 1942 movie Casablanca): I am shocked- shocked to find that gambling is going on in here (Rick’s Cafe)…

Matt Damon (in real life in 2017): I am shocked- shocked to find that Harvey Weinstein is a sexual predator.

(An echo that sounds much like the voice of actor George Clooney echoes that statement)

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Reflection On The Las Vegas Massacre: A Poem

October 4, 2017 at 6:47 pm (Commentary, Culture, History, Horror, News, Poetry) (, , )

Reflection On The Las Vegas Massacre: A Poem

Deep down we’ve always known that TV commercial ad slogans no matter how catchy
were not conveyors of genuine truth
As one ad slogan for Las Vegas Tourism which became so catchy
It even became a line in Hollywood movies
has now crumbled
With lives lost and wounds lasting
We now know
that what happened in Vegas
won’t stay in Vegas.

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday October 4th 2017.

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Renfield Reflects On Hugh Hefner’s Death

September 29, 2017 at 4:21 pm (Commentary, Culture, News) (, , , )

Renfield Reflects On Hugh Hefner’s Death

“So I see Hugh Hefner the founder of Playboy magazine and the father of the Sexual Revolution has kicked the bucket,” Renfield R. Renfield MP remarked as he read The Times of London, “although I notice some of the tabloid newspapers phrase it as he has gone up to that great big mansion in the sky.”

“How do they know he hasn’t gone down to that great big fireplace down below?” Amadeus remarked between mouthfuls of peanut 🥜 butter and jam sandwiches.

Renfield found Amadeus’ remarks quite disturbing.

Later in his stately bedroom, the British Transhumanist Party MP, although an atheist, started to reflect on what would be the case if Amadeus’ belief in the afterlife was true.

Renfield picked up his red velvet dressing gown and his evening smoking pipe (inspired by the example of Hugh Hefner) and wondered if he should throw them out.

After all if the great big fireplace down below was in fact real, Renfield thought it might be a rather unpleasant experience to spend an eternity there.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 29th
2017.

Dante’s Inferno On A Friday Night:

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Haiku About Disastrous Calamities Facing America

September 5, 2017 at 6:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Nature, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

Haiku About Disastrous Calamities Facing America

Hurricane Harvey
Hurricane Irma and then
J. followed by Kim?

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