Joe Biden Hopes To Outleap Jack Kennedy’s Giant Leap To The Moon

March 29, 2022 at 10:53 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , )

The photographer had travelled back in time to take her photo.

He had seen her in a dream.

But he knew that she was real.

And that she had actually lived.

In a time before him.

So he took the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern film projector in his hand.

And went back to that time.

He got her to pose for him.

“I’ve never seen you before,” the woman said when the photo session was over.

“That’s because I come from another time,” he answered her.

The way he said it, she knew he spoke the truth.

And she gathered that he had come from the future.

“Why did you come to this time?” She asked.

“Because,” he answered, “I wanted to come to a time when women were women. And men weren’t.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of senile old fool Joe Biden making what he called an important announcement.

“An announcement,” a totally brown hair couloured Jen Psaki said, “that would be even more earth shattering than President John F. Kennedy’s May 25th 1961 address to a joint session of Congress in which he said he wanted to put a man on the moon by 1970.”

Joe Biden approached the podium wearing only a face mask.

And actually wearing ONLY a face mask.

A geriatric production of The Emperor’s New Clothes designed to turn heads and turn stomachs.

Biden then took off his face mask.

“Ladies and gentlemen and others,” Biden began, “I have an important announcement to make. Even more important than that Jack Kennedy guy’s speech where he wanted to put a man on the moon by 1970. I intend to make 90% of the American Armed Forces LGBTQ2s+ by the year 2030.”

One old timer watching at home on television whispered to another old timer, “I wonder if Stanley Kubrick will rise from the grave to direct this production the same way some people claim that he directed John F. Kennedy’s original dream.”

. . .

The pro-Sodom and Gomorrah government of Ireland in the Irish Republic’s capital of Dublin was absolutely thrilled by Biden’s historic announcement.

They commissioned the writing of a new Irish Army Fighting Song to celebrate the day.

One that was written by the end of the day.

The song was written to the tune of the old Tommy Makem and The Clancy Brothers song Bold O’ Donohue.

Here are some of the lyrics that were to be sung by the soldiers in the Irish Army,

“Oh I’m a puff and you’re a puff and he’s a puffter too
And everywhere we go, they say, Oh there’s O’ Donohue…”

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin watched Biden’s “historic” announcement and the 1st official singing of the new Irish Army Fighting Song on television along with his top Russian generals.

When the news clips were over, Putin gazed solemnly and sadly at each Russian general present in the room.

Finally he spoke.

“You know,” Putin sighed, “It’s finally dawned on me that the Ukrainians might not be the fierce ferocious fighters that they are had we allowed them to join NATO many years ago.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 29th
2022.

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Renfield’s Monday Night Podcast and Michelangelo’s Vision of Renfield At Future Oscars

March 28, 2022 at 10:56 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, News, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Violinist Tina Guo is performing with the Hans Zimmer Live Tour over in Europe
Hans Zimmer won Best Musical Score for the movie Dune at last night’s Oscars

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Monday night podcast.

Said Renfield, “A few days ago senile old fool Joe Biden was in Poland shooting his mouth off about “freedom” and “liberty”.
What does a vaccinazi despot like Joe Biden know about “freedom” and “liberty” when he wanted to impose a national vaccine mandate on all of America?
The senile old fool Joe Biden also called for “Putin to be removed from power”. There’s nothing like tellng the leader of a rival nuclear power that you want him removed from power.
Of course Joe Biden’s handlers want nuclear war with Russia.
That way they can reduce the world’s population without waiting for those vaccine booster shots to kick in.
Although they are doing an excellent job in my own country of England.
British government data shows that 92.2% of all Covid deaths are among the triple vaccinated.
And last week Eastern European members of the European Parliament gave visiting Canadian Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau the raspberry that he so richly deserved.
Romanian and Croatian MEPs mentioned how he sent police horses to trample peaceful protestors and then passed an Emergencies Act so that he could seize the bank accounts of people whose political views he disagreed with.
This is the stuff of dictatorship the Romanian and Croatian MEPs pointed out (who were all too familiar with Communist dictators in their own countries).
Even the Presidents of both El Salvador and Honduras have called Justin Trudeau a despot and a dictator for sending police horses to trample protestors and for seizing bank accounts.
Personally I think Justin Trudeau should be publicly hanged by the neck until dead and his Nazi/Communist hybrid hag henchwoman Chrystia Freeland should be burnt at the stake as a witch.
Failing that, both of them should be charged with high treason against the Charter of Rights in the Canadian Constitution (that Justin’s stepdad Pierre had put in) and then thrown in jail.
If Justin Castro Trudeau was to have his lily white ass sodomized numerous times while he was in prison,that would be the best thing that could ever happen to him.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of a future Oscars ceremony some years down the road.

Renfield had been nominated for the role of Best Actor for playing the role of Prince Hal in a Kenneth Branagh directed production of William Shakespeare’s Henry IV Part 1.

Michelangelo was surprised to see Renfield was married in the vision as he sat at a front table close to the stage with his wife.

A foul mouthed comedian Justin Trudeau was to present the next award for Best Porn Film (a new Oscar category) in Michelangelo’s vision.

Foul mouthed comedian Justin Trudeau was a former Canadian Prime Minister who had been jailed for treason for a number of years.

Despite Justin Trudeau having been such a huge asshole, believe it or not his anus was a lot bigger after it had left prison than it was before coming in.

The foul mouthed alleged comic Justin Trudeau made an obscene insulting remark about Renfield’s wife.

Renfield got up on to the stage and approached the foul mouthed comic.

“Oh, oh,” one of the Academy Awards commentators could be heard saying, “I wonder if Renfield is going to punch Justin Trudeau like Will Smith did to Chris Rock a few years back.”

Renfield reached into his pocket, pulled out a gun and blew Justin Trudeau’s head off.

Justin Trudeau lay dead on the stage in a pool of blood- his perfectly coiffured hair now a tangled mess.

“Oh, oh,” one of the other commentators said, “I wonder what can be done about this situation as Renfield was granted a 007 License To Kill by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II a few years back. Maybe if he wins the Best Actor Award for his portrayal of Prince Hal in Henry IV Part 1, they’ll take the Oscar away from him.”

“Not if they want to live until the next morning, they won’t,” his commentating partner suggested.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 28th
2022.

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Renfield’s Regency Croquet Match: All Is Fair In Love and War

March 23, 2022 at 10:36 pm (Culture, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, News, Politics, Television, Vampire novel) ()

After watching an episode of a television series that was set in Regency England, British MP Renfield R. Renfield fell asleep and dreamed that he was a young nobleman in Regency England.

After escorting the Prince Regent through local ale houses and giving advice to Arthur Wellesley the Duke of Wellington on how to defeat Napoleon, Renfield set out for high tea at Lady Vandeermeer’s Estate.

There he met two beautiful charming young ladies with whom he discussed the novels of Jane Austen.

In the middle of his watercress sandwich the valet to Lady Vandermeer delivered Renfield a note from his sometimes rival the Russian Vladimir Painintheassovich.

Vladimir Painintheassovich told Renfield that he was out on the Estate’s grounds with two gentlemen and that they would like to challenge Renfield to a game of croquet that is if Renfield could find two other partners to form a team.

Renfield immediately invited his two charming young Jane Austen Literary Society companions to form a team with him.

Renfield, his two lovely young literary society companions and a corgi who will serve as ball retriever

Renfield and his lovely young companions approached their rivals.

The Russian Vladimir Painintheassovich stood directly across from Renfield.

On Vladimir’s right was the Emperor Napoleon and on his left Ares the Greek god of war.

Lady Vandermeer’s valet brought some Ukrainian perogies with sour cream for Renfield and his companions to munch on before the match began.

Vladimir, Napoleon and Ares ate blood sausages and salt water tears wept by a young widow and her children.

When the match started, Renfield hit a ball that went flying into the right temple of the Emperor Napoleon and sent the Little Corporal unconscious alongside the Estate pond.

“Napoleon appears to have met his Waterloo,” Renfield remarked.

Ares sent his ball flying at the little corgi knocking him out cold.

“Thou black hearted snerd,” said Renfield’s lovely teammate who was wearing the green velvet dress with hints of gold decorating.

Ares’ nose was broken by the ball fired by the beauty in the green dress.

The god of war was carried off the croquet field.

Vladimir Painintheassovich called out to the beauty wearing the peach pink dress with hints of gold decorating.

“Hey babe, how would you like to see me ride a horse shirtless?” He said.

“I think all horses are shirtless aren’t they?” Answered the beauty in the peach pink dress, “I’ve never seen a horse wear a shirt.”

She fired a croquet ball at the Russian’s balls knocking him off his high horse which he had just crawled up on.

Renfield then finished the Russian off with a croquet ball fired to the forehead.

The MP then woke up.

“Ah, if only life were like a Regency England croquet match,” he ordered himself a cup of tea.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 23rd
2022.

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Orson Welles’ Ghost Arranges For Russian Billionaire Oligarch To Be Bumped Off In Switzerland

March 20, 2022 at 10:48 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Russian oligarch billionaire felt like he was entering a scene in a late 1940s Film Noir movie.

Which in a sense he was.

Billionaire oligarch Hunterovich Pervertovsky (the son of the senile old fool Russian billionaire oligarch Josef Pervertovsky famous for going around sniffing the hair of beautiful women and for always wanting to dangle young girls on his lopsided knees as his pair of Russian made Depends dangled around his brown coloured ankles) was standing face to face with a woman who was the spitting image of actress Laurette Luez in the 1949 Film Noir movie D.O.A.

The entire scene had a black and white feel to it.

That’s because it was being directed by the ghost of the great film director Orson Welles.

His friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had arranged for the pro-Taiwan Vietnamese secret agent Ho Babylon Minh to drop a Mickey into Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s hot toddy as he ate his rotisserie chicken accompanied by Black Sea caviar in the Swiss chalet restaurant.

Unbeknownst to him a Ukrainian band with a Ukrainian ukulele player played that old Canadian restaurant TV commercial song “Life should taste as good as Swiss Chalet” from the top floor of the chalet as Ho slipped the mickey into his drink.

Hunterovich hit the floor faster than one of his many dropped laptops.

He soon found himself in this room, his head was spinning in a haze and everything looked black and white to him.

And he saw this vision:

Actress Laurette Luez smoking a cigarette

“There’s a glass of vodka in front of you, Comrade Uber-capitalist Hunterovich Pervertovsky,” Miss Luez pointed with her shapely leg.

Pervertovsky picked up the glass and drank.

His face suddenly turned very red like the flags rising above the Saint Petersburg Winter Palace on a Julian calendar October day in 1917.

“I believe it’s Polonium-210 that you use to get rid of the opponents of your friend Vlad the Exhaler’s regime isn’t it?” Miss Luez smiled, “Well there was enough Polonium-210 in that glass of vodka to kill a race horse. And personally I along with Mr. Welles, Mr. Van Helsing and Miss Ho have nothing against race horses.”

Hunterovich Pervertovsky the son of Josef Pervertovsky was D.O.A.

Meanwhile on Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s laptop (which had just landed at his feet) were the plans for Russia’s newest Kinzhal (Dagger) hypersonic missiles just used in Ukraine.

The plans were delivered to Set Enterprises in London.

And not the British government.

As the Bitish government was under the control of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum and the Great Reset New World Order.

Set Enterprises was not.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 20th
2022.

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The Children of Hecate

March 13, 2022 at 11:09 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee visits a local community college and its Hall of Fame

World-famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee was walking down the street when he saw a fat ugly blimp and her moronic low-IQ boyfriend rushing towards a bus stop even though there was no bus approaching.

Goatee put his astral laser machete into auto boomerang mode and threw it at the uglo-moronic duo.

The machete beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

It then beheaded her moronic low-IQ boyfriend and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

As Krampus arrived on the scene to pick up the remains and take them down to Tartarus, the machete then went to a nearby Chinese laundromat to get all the blood and guck washed off it before returning to Pan Goatee as a boomerang.

The initial test for this boomerang astral laser machete was originally conducted by Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie at his Cumelita Show down in Sydney, Australia.

That test was an initial disaster resulting in the beheadings and deaths of hundreds of Uncle Ernie’s paying customers who were sitting in the audience.

The machete was wisely given to a German aeronautics firm who used their German aerodynamic skills to make the astral laser machete into the weapon that it is today.

As opposed to whatever Uncle Ernie’s bumbling Australian “what the Hell is he doing skills?” would have turned it into.

Later as Pan Goatee was enjoying a Big Mac and Diet Coke inside a McDonald’s, his enjoyment was interrupted by a thin ugly looking stoat and her two ugly looking offspring entering the restaurant section where he was sitting.

Goatee beheaded the slim ugly looking stoat uglo and her two ugly looking offspring and cut them up into 999 trillion pieces each while commenting, “To think all this pre-emptive strike action was brought about by the Austro-Hungarian Augustinian monk Gregor Johann Mendel and his ground breaking genetic research into garden peas.”

“I wonder if Mendel’s peas left such a mess behind on the floor?” A customer commented as he watched all the blood and body parts gathering on the floor prior to Krampus’ arrival.

“They would have if he was diabetic,” Jarod Jerome Le Gnome commented.

Meanwhile in Victoria, British Columbia, B.C.’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant NDP Premier John Horgan was insulting the B.C. Freedom Truckers’ Convoy who were planning to descend on the provincial capital in protest against the socialist despot’s draconian vaccine mandates and lockdowns.

Horgan was condescending towards his opponents like all pompous and arrogant champagne socialist despots are.

“Goodness me, get a hobby,” Horgan’s gums flapped like the wind at the world’s biggest pork and beans barbeque and chili cook-off.

Horgan had a B.C. Salmon and Wild Thistle Cream Pie thrown in his face by a Kootenay area sasquatch whose hobby was throwing B.C. Salmon and Wild Thistle Cream Pies into the faces of people who are total assholes.

Meanwhile at the Vatican, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was wondering why Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis wasn’t dead yet.

He had watched Francis drink the entire cup of Tibetan Buddhist tea with the piece of wolfsbane and the jade key to Beijing’s forbidden city in it.

He had also watched Francis eat the recipe for Uncle Ernie’s vegetarian based koala bear and kangaroo meat stew also without any noticeable side effects.

“The man must have sold his soul to the devil to withstand such poisons,” Salaman deduced.

Meanwhile Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was sitting reading a newspaper at the Yaroviv military training area in Ukraine which is about 12 miles from the Polish border and about 25 miles from the city of Lviv located in western Ukraine.

Among the headlines Yaldabaoth read was “Barack Obama Says He Tested Positive For Covid-19”.

Interesting, Yaldabaoth mused.

This was followed by another headline that read, “Justin Trudeau Says He Tested Positive For Syphilis”.

Very interesting, Yaldabaoth mused again.

Suddenly the Yaroviv military base was struck by 30 missiles fired by Russian warplanes flying over the Black and Azov Seas.

Yaldabaoth dropped a load- Joe Biden style- when the attack hit.

“Thank God you shit green and not brown,” the ghost of W.C. Fields remarked as he was playing a game of golf in the area.

The ghost of Orson Welles meanwhile sat in his arm chair in the living room of the Set Mansion in London.

He read some recent history.

“In early 2013 Jen Psaki, when she was spokesperson for the Hillary Clinton State Department, was asked about secret plans for a proposed coup d’etat against the then government of Ukraine.
A year later the Obama Administration, with the support of George Soros’ financing, helped set up the new anti-Russia government of Ukraine.”

“In 2015, it was revealed that George Soros had spent hundreds of millions of dollars in Ukraine and had planted special operatives throughout the country.
This was not done to make Ukraine an independent and sovereign nation state (since Soros hates independent and sovereign nation states) but to make Ukraine an invioable part of the New World Order proposed by Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum.”

“Then in 2017, Neo-Con Senators Lindsey Graham and John McCain travelled to Ukraine and promised top military leaders that “the U.S. would give them everything they need to go to war against Vladimir Putin.”

Welles’ ghost organized the scene in his mind.

3 witches (children of Hecate) on a Scottish heath are transported to Ukraine.

Jen Psaki along with Lindsey Graham and John McCain in drag are the 3 witches.

“When shall we three meet again?
In thunder, lightning or in rain?”.

“When the hurly-burly’s done,
when the battle’s lost and won.”

“That will be ere the set of sun.”

“Where the place?”.

“Upon the heath.”

“There to meet with MacPutin.”

While Welles’ ghost meditated upon and directed the scene in his mind,
British MP Renfield R. Renfield entered the room and announced, “Did you know that Renfield was from his mother’s womb untimely ripped?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written Sunday March 13th
2022.

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Theatre At The Comedie-Francaise

February 3, 2022 at 11:48 pm (Arts, Culture, History, Literature, Plays, Poetry, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , )

She watched the play being performed
Dom Juan ou le Festin de Pierre
(Don Juan or The Feast of the Stone {Statue})
A five-act 1665 comedy by Moliere

As she watched with increased intensity

She herself longed for a taste of Dom Juan’s own sword
She licked her lips
And reached for a handkerchief
To dab a spot

On the stage Dom Juan told a jealous husband,
“Young Leibniz says this is the best of all possible worlds”
To which the jealous husband replied,
“Thou black hearted swine,thou hast made a cuckold of me
Like Zeus did of Philip II of Macedon with Queen Olympias
And you have the nerve to say,
“This is the best of all possible worlds”.

“Last night,” Dom Juan bit into an apple, “Your wife
experienced the best of all possible worlds.”
The husband went into a rage, lifted his sword
and spoke, “I shall make a pork pie of thee
And feed thy black heart to my chickens.”

She watched the sword play on the stage
And redness came to her cheeks
“Oh let his heart be mine
and not that of the chickens.”
Her breasts rose up and down
like a stormy night on
the English Channel.

“Oh, I am slain,” said the husband.
“Young Leibniz is right,” Dom Juan smiled and raised his sword in triumph,
“This is the best of all possible worlds.”

The woman fainted in her seat.

Later in the final act and the final scene
As the stone statue of a man
Whom Don Juan had murdered
Carries Dom Juan down to Hell,
Dom Juan shouts,
“Young Leibniz is wrong,
This is NOT the best of all possible worlds.”

The woman up in the theatre balcony box
Fanned herself with a handkerchief
And said,
“Oh Leibniz, there are more things in Hell
Than are dreamt of in thy philosophy.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster
Awakened from his dream
And wondered if Moliere’s 1665
production of Dom Juan
was actually like that.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 3rd
2022.

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Remembering Meat Loaf: Amadeus’ Tribute

January 21, 2022 at 10:28 pm (Culture, Entertainment, History, Music, music videos, Plays, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Singer Meat Loaf (September 27th 1947 – January 20th 2022) Known for his album Bat Out of Hell and his hit song I’d Do Anything For Love

Amadeus Emanon had just heard the news that one of his music idols Meat Loaf had just died at the age of 74.

He decided to do a tribute in his memory.

Amadeus who was a musician, a singer and an actor contacted some of his friends on social media about it this Friday night.

They went down to St. James’s Park and acted out Amadeus’ improvisationally written play.

The play began with a High Priest (who practiced satanism in private but was a respected ecclesiastical figure in public) who was plotting the death of a man who was a threat to him.

The high priest said to one of his subordinates, “We’ll track him down. We’ll get him through his weakest link. His youngest follower.”

The Apostle John (played by Amadeus) was approached by a girl (played by Angelique Dumont) he once knew.

The girl kissed him and asked him to love her.

As John slowly succumbed to the girl, the girl then made a request.

And Amadeus replied, “I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.”

Amadeus then began singing the song lyrics,

“And I would do anything for love but I won’t do that…”

He sang the lyrics up until the lines

“Some nights you’re like nothing I’ve ever seen before
or will again…”

Amadeus as the young Apostle John turns away from the girl played by Angelique.

John (Amadeus) then turns to a fellow actor who’s playing Jesus,

“And maybe I’m crazy
Oh it’s crazy and it’s true
I know you can save me
No one else can save me now but you…

That I would do anything for love
I’ll be there till the final act.”

John (Amadeus) bows to Jesus and then turned back to the girl he had known,

“I’d do anything for love but I won’t do that.”

The scene then turns back to the satanic High Priest, “So much for the theory about who I thought was the weakest link…”

The High Priest is then approached by Judas Iscariot who sells out Christ for thirty pieces of silver.

The Apostle Paul had it right when he said, “The love of money is the root of all evil.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 21st
2022.

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The Night of Saint Nicholas

December 6, 2021 at 9:28 pm (Christmas, Culture, Folklore, History, Personal essays) (, , , , , , , , , )

It was December 6th 2021.

December 6th was the Feast Day of Saint Nicholas.

Saint Nicholas was the bishop of Myra in Asia Minor (what is now modern day Turkey).

He was known for his generous gifts to poor people.

He was also the Patron Saint of Children.

As such he was noted for giving gifts on the night of his Feast Day of Saint Nicholas when in Medieval Europe a person dressed up as the bishop Saint Nicholas would go around giving gifts to children in the respective village or town.

Later it became the saying that Saint Nicholas only gave presents to good children on his Feast Day.

And the figure of Krampus (a demon goat) was invented who was said to whip naughty children on the night before Saint Nicholas’ Day which was called Krampusnacht (December 5th).

And the really bad children (like Bill Gates and Dr. Anthony Fauci) it was said he put in a sack and carried down to Hell on that night.

In the centuries following the Reformation, the custom started developing in some towns and regions that it was Saint Nicholas who gave out gifts right at Christmas.

And eventually the idea developed that it was not the 4th Century bishop who gave out gifts on Christmas Eve but rather a very tall elf who wore a red costume and was white bearded and was called Santa Claus (the English equivalent of Sinterklaas which was the Dutch name for Saint Nicholas).

The more recent contemporary folklore mythology expanded to say that Santa Claus lived at the North Pole, had a magic sled pulled by seven magic reindeer (Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen) plus an eighth very shiney red nosed reindeer named Rudolph who guided the sled by the light of his nose and they delivered presents to all of the good children of the world all on one night.

However for a thousand years from 500 AD to 1500 AD, it was not the jolly old elf Santa Claus or the 4th Century bishop Saint Nicholas who brought gifts to children on Christmas Eve but rather Das Christkind (which literally translates to Christ Child).

Yes for much of Christianity’s long history, it was the Christ Child Himself who brought gifts to children on Christmas Eve.

Jesus would come down from Heaven and would resume the form He had when He was 5 or 6 years old and bring gifts to children that night.

The tradition was for children to do good deeds during the Season of Advent.

On the first day of Advent, a crib or creche was brought into the home.

Every time a child did a good deed, he or she would be allowed to put a piece of straw on the crib.

If there was enough straw on the crib, Das Christkind or the Christ Child would lay on the crib in the children’s home the night before Christmas.

And the Christ Child would give gifts to children on Christmas morning.

On the night of December 23rd, the crib or creche was placed behind a veil in the home.

If the child looked behind the veil before 7 PM on Christmas Eve, Das Christkind (the Christ Child) would not come on Christmas Eve.

At 7 PM on Christmas Eve, the father would part the veil.

And there in the crib would be placed a figure of the Christ Child.

And on Christmas morn there would be found gifts for the children.

But the Christ Child as the bringer of gifts on Christmas Eve would later be replaced by the 4th Century bishop Saint Nicholas of Myra (who originally brought gifts on his own feast day on December 6th) and later replaced by the jolly old elf Santa Claus (whose myth was inspired by Clement Moore’s 19th Century poem The Night Before Christmas and early and mid-20th Century Coca-Cola ads).

A long journey to take Christ out of Christmas.

Forgetting without Christ, there would be no Christmas.

-A historical essay
written by Christopher
Monday December 6th
2021.

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Just Another Day In Paradise (I’m Being Sarcastic)

November 26, 2021 at 10:03 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, Life, Personal essays, Vampire novel) (, , )

One of my favourite songs from the 1980s was Phil Collins’ Just Another Day In Paradise.

Anyhow in this paradise of 2020-2021 (where a virus is worshipped as a god determining our lives, our jobs, where we go, who we associate with and what we do), I started off the day being banned from Facebook for a remark I made comparing today’s Austria to that of Adolf Hitler’s Nazi Anschluss Austria.

I didn’t know Facebook CEO Snark Suckaturd (as my friend Daniel calls him) was on such good terms with Austria’s current Fascist pig chancellor Alexander Schallenberg but I guess these two must be playing a game of Roll Me Over In The Clover while engaging in Buttocks Cuddles on the Emerald Isle of Ireland.

Then after being banned from Facebook, I was then formally evicted from the homeless shelter I’m in by the end of this month.

So it’s two days before my birthday and less than a month before Christmas and I know not where I’ll be spending December.

On the plus side, I offended some Nazi asshole.

Someone had reblogged my post from yesterday Towards Christmas on their site.

Some whining, snivelling, diaper wetting and pablum puking Nazi crybaby took issue with my lines

“People have always tried to prevent Christmas
From Judea’s King Herod
To Hitler who called it Julfest the Winter Solstice”

The Nazi crybaby snivelled in his comment on the re-blog,

“This is both condescending and unfair.”

It’s best to hear that comment in one’s mind as being spoken in the lisping limpwristed pansy like voice of writer Truman Capote.

For it probably was.

The guy is probably about as fruity as Ernst Rohm and his Brownshirts were.

It may be condescending and unfair but it’s also historically accurate.

Hitler did change the name of the December holiday from Christmas to Winter Solstice Festival during the early 1940s.

So get over it you Nazi asshole.

He then whines and snivels about “Idiot deracinated Americans”.

I don’t know who he’s talking about but I’m a Canadian proud of my Irish, Scots and English heritage.

He talks about “husks of people” possibly referring to his own unique eunuch status in life.

I never knew that today’s Nazis were as big whining snivelling crybabies as today’s Cultural Marxist ‘woke’ brainless zombie youth but apparently they are.

Both need to be taken behind the woodshed to be paddled into real manhood.

. . .

Today’s vampire novel chapter:

Pan Goatee went for a walk down to the park.

Yesterday during his walk he had encountered a fat ugly blimp.

No doubt the blimp had been given permission by her genetic creator Dr. Anthony Fauci to wander around ruining people’s days.

Goatee had beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Then on his way back to where he was currently staying, he saw another pair of uglos so beheaded them as well.

Hoping not to run into uglos today did not happen.

A hideous repulsively ugly uglo was trying to walk on the ice on the river.

Goatee beheaded the ugly looking gargoyle remarking, “If you’re going to walk around on the ice as repulsively ugly looking as you are, do the world a favour and fall in.”

He then cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

On the way back to where he was staying, he ran into another ugly woman so beheaded her as well and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“When is Fauci going to be tried with crimes against humanity?” Goatee wondered as he wiped the blood off his astral laser machete.

-A personal essay
and
vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 26th
2021.

Wishing all uglos, Nazis, Fascists, Communists and ‘woke’ brainless zombies
A very Pan Goatee Christmas

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Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu Makes An Amazing Discovery

October 17, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Comedy, Culture, Gothic, Horror, Humour, Literature, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu, who drank red wine (unlike Bela Lugosi’s Dracula), was in the study of Transylvania’s Castle Dracula where she had made an amazing discovery:

Mei-ling Manchu: This is very interesting…

Mei-ling Manchu: Apparently writer Truman Capote did not write In Cold Blood…

Mei-ling Manchu: He wrote in… ink.

Mei-ling Manchu: However the same won’t be said about me.

-A vampiress Mei-ling Manchu
Halloween photo montage
written by Christopher
Sunday October 17th
2021.

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