Notre Dame Reflections

April 17, 2019 at 9:29 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

“Hold the Cross high so I may continue to see it through the flames.”

-Joan of Arc

France’s national leader Emmanuel Macron held a somewhat different opinion than that held by France’s national saint when it comes to dealing with situations regarding fire.

The globalist New World Order leader and noted admirer of cougars who was promising to rebuild Notre Dame within 5 years (just in time for the 2024 Summer Olympics that Mr. Macron naturally visualized himself presiding over) thought that the new Notre Dame should reflect multicultural diversity rather than Catholicism.

Fortunately for Mr. Macron, he was not alone in holding to such idiocy.

One of the editors of Rolling Stone magazine likewise postulated that a rebuilt Notre Dame should reflect multiculturalism and multifaith diversity rather than the country’s Catholic past.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster safely prophesied that the editor would not be calling on the Islamic mosques at Mecca and Medina to do the same thing- that the mosques should be rebuilt to reflect multiculturalism and multifaith diversity rather than the country’s Islamic past.

Said Renfield, “That is a safe prophecy to make. The rolling stoned editor knows that if he were to bloody well suggest that, he’d find himself being bodily dismembered by Saudi assassins who work part time as janitorial staff at Saudi embassies and consulates throughout the world.”

A professor of architecture at Harvard University had likewise suggested much the same thing- that Notre Dame should be a multicultural center rather than a symbol of Catholicism.

Noted Renfield, “Just last week I heard a commentator on the state of advanced education in the U.S. say that Harvard and Yale are no longer the institutions of culture and higher learning that they used to be. I guess that assessment is 100% correct.”

One reporter on the scene at Notre Dame commented, “The day after the night before at Notre Dame de Paris, the High Altar stands untouched with its gleaming Cross, along with the figure of the weeping Madonna holding her dead son Jesus in her arms. Meanwhile the modern altar installed after Vatican II lays buried under rubble from the collapsed roof.”

Pope Francis had already retreated to his room in the Vatican to put on sackcloth and ashes upon hearing what had happened to the modern altar.

Government surveyors from Emmanuel Macron’s office were already on the scene visualizing the rebuilding of the new Notre Dame- a statue of an Islamic State terrorist blowing himself up along with statues of tourists at a Parisienne sidewalk cafe being killed by the debris, a statue of Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith Jr. rolling a marijuana joint with the angel Moroni and statues of L. Ron Hubbard eloping with Jack Parsons’ mistress while Aleister Crowley looks on approvingly.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 17th
2019.

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The Debutante’s Ball 1941: A Poem

March 18, 2019 at 10:30 pm (Comedy, Culture, Detective story, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Mystery, Poetry, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )


Marissa Van Horne, Debutante

“You’re here to escort me to the ball, Mr. Albion?”
The laughing smiling face of the beautiful young woman
looked at me with merriment and amusement in her sparkling eyes
which glimmered like stars above her sunshine golden gown,
“A famed Los Angeles private eye reduced to a chaperone?”

I, Carson Cody Albion, stopped in my tracks
when I heard this statement
I was a private eye
But I had never thought of myself as famed.

“Don’t be so modest,” Marissa remarked with a wry smile as if she could read my mind, “of course you are!”
“The ball starts at 8 PM?” I queried looking at my watch.
“Yes, but drinks are served starting at 7,” she laughed.
“I don’t think your parents hired me to watch you get inebriated before the ball,” I said as I held open the arms of her fur coat
so she could finish her fashion ensemble for the evening.

Only the LA glitterati rich would wear fur coats
on a hot Los Angeles evening
But as the hired help, what did I know?

“No,” she slid her arms through the coat, “my parents hired you to keep me away from Lev Tomi.”

That was true.
They had.
Titus Van Horne was an influential newspaper editor in the city.
He seemed to know everything about everyone in the state of California
A West Coast J. Edgar Hoover as it were
Minus that DC bureaucrat’s penchant for wearing women’s clothing in private
Which was a good thing for the Van Horne family fortune
For the Paris dresses and gowns that Mrs. Van Horne and daughter Marissa wore
were already keeping the Bank of Monte Carlo afloat
to say nothing of Hitler’s Reich
while the Vichy government were reduced to making money off mineral water
A third Van Horne (and a male one at that) adorning the best of Parisienne feminine apparel
would definitely have put the Van Horne family fortune in the red
like Alger Hiss in the U.S. State Department

Van Horne knew all about Orson Welles’ private life
He had to
For the Boy Wonder of New York radio and theatre
was making a movie based on the life of Van Horne’s boss

But Van Horne knew nothing whatsoever about Lev Tomi
This older man that young Marissa had started seeing at the start of this year
Marissa just claimed that she was taking Russian language lessons from him
Nothing like a LA society girl with a hankering to visit the Soviet Union and see Josef Stalin’s paradise for herself
The movie The Grapes of Wrath had recently been shown in Moscow
Uncle Joe had hoped that this would cause outrage among Moscow’s workers
when they saw how the poor in America were treated
It caused outrage all right
but not in the way that Uncle Joe had hoped
Moscow workers had become outraged that the poor in America actually owned their own trucks
Viewings of the movie soon became obsolete in the USSR
Joining the obsolescence of most personally owned motor vehicles among the common people there

When Marissa came home and told her parents
that she had asked Lev Tomi to be her date
to the LA society’s debutante ball
Titus Van Horne finally put his foot down
causing him to be rushed to LA General Hospital
to get his now even deeper ingrown toe nail surgically removed

After a week of recuperation, Titus Van Horne and his wife Olivia came to see me
And asked me to be Marissa’s escort to the debutante’s ball
Since I had nothing pressing on me at the moment
Save some old white shirts that needed to be steampressed at the neighbourhood’s Chinese laundry
I took the case.


Olivia and Titus Van Horne asked Carson Cody Albion Private Eye to be their daughter Marissa’s escort to the LA society elite debutante’s ball

As I got into the back of the limousine with Marissa
I instructed the chauffeur to drive us to Ming Lo’s Blue Lantern Restaurant
I figured imbibing Marissa with a light Chinese dinner at 7
would far be safer than imbibing her with drinks prior to the ball

I turned out to be wrong on that
It must have been the spicy chop suey
that was the Blue Lantern special
It turned Marissa into a tigress in heat
And I was explorer Frank Buck
Bringing her back alive

It was now 11 PM
I had failed to present Miss Van Horne to the debutante’s ball by some 3 hours
Her beautiful gold dress lying on the seat of the booth along with her nylons and spiked stilettos
And all my clothes lying on the floor underneath the table
Implied a very unusual Russian language lesson was going on
when coincidentally Mr. and Mrs. Van Horne entered the restaurant right at 11 PM

I felt no inclination to open my fortune cookie which the waiter just brought
If it was accurate, I knew well what it would say
You can send me my cheque in the mail for my services
I hastily said to Mr. Van Horne before heading out into the night
like a stallion galloping out into the Santa Ana winds

I had no idea who this Lev Tomi fellow was
But I think I may have just saved his life
Too bad, I can’t say the same for my own.

-Carson Cody Albion Private Eye

-A Carson Cody Albion
Private Eye poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 18th
2018

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Pike’s Peak

March 15, 2019 at 9:36 pm (Crime, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee was getting out a lot more as the city’s long cold winter was coming to an end.

Sadly so were the city’s vast array of repulsively ugly looking women.

The genetic interbreeding between the city’s stupid white males (whom the brainless Neo-Nazis considered the master race) and the city’s walruses, stoats and sewer rats had produced a vast array of ugliness unsurpassed in human history.

What passed for female among much of the city’s population no doubt was the reason why Calgary-Centre was the federal constituency with the greatest proportion of male homosexuals in Canada even higher than the numerous fruit belts on Canada’s West Coast.

Goatee was just returning from a McDonald’s restaurant when sadly a fat ugly blimp came waddling up the street ruining what had been until then a great spring evening.

Goatee once again clutched his trusty laser astral machete and beheaded the loathsome creature.

He cut the body up into 666 trillion pieces and once again called on his trusted confrere Krampus The 2nd of the DARPA Hazardous Waste Disposal and Removal Unit to bag up the remains and take them to the flames of Tartarus to be burnt.

It was no doubt this which was the primary cause of climate change and not bovine flatulence as the airheads behind the Green New Deal would suggest.

. . .

Donald Trump was pissed off.

How dare Republican Senators in his own party vote to overturn his declaration of a national emergency?

“I’ve been stabbed in the back,” Trump angrily pounded his desk.

“Beware the Ides of March, Julius, beware the ides of March,” Trump’s pet Norwegian blue parrot squawked from inside his cage.

Trump looked at the date on his calendar.

March 15th.

What was this Ides of March that his parrot was referring to?

Trump’s Norwegian blue parrot, of course, had a classical education.

Trump himself did not.

. . .

The ET gray Gali-Gula (possessed by the ghost of the late earthling ancient Roman Emperor Caligula) sat in a Toronto nightclub where indoor pot smoking was allowed.

This would allow other people to see him as people only seemed to be able to see him when they were high on cannabis smoke.

When his good friend Justin Trudeau had his genetically created marijuana smoking desert cactus plant called Strawberry Fields Forever available to him in the Prime Ministerial Greenhouse, he was able to talk to Justin because then the Prime Minister could see him after inhaling the desert cactus plant’s exhaled pot smoke.

But as soon as Canada arrested Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou, Chinese intelligence agents had abducted the cannabis inhaling prickly little creature and were holding him hostage in a re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in western China in exchange for Meng’s release.

Gali-Gula watched the television where it was announced that Scarborough Ontario born and raised YouTube comedian Lilly Singh would be hosting her own late night TV talk show on NBC starting this fall:

I imagine Justin would be pleased to hear that a Canadian would be hosting a late night talk show on a major U.S. network, Gali-Gula thought.


Scarborough Ontario born and raised Lilly Singh hosting a late night talk show in the fall

. . .

Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike was currently visiting Rome on business.

The man who had been genetically cloned from locks of hair belonging to the racist Freemasonic practicing occultist Confederate Brigadier-General Albert Pike in a Knoxville Tennessee laboratory by Nazi scientist Dr. Eckhart Fromm back in 1966 (Dr. Fromm had been smuggled into the U.S. along with other leading Nazi scientists through Operation Paperclip at the end of World War II).

Pike had ordered himself a glass of champagne to toast today’s racist terrorist attacks on two mosques in Christchurch New Zealand which killed 49 people and injured 48 others.

Promoting hatred and intolerance between difference races and religions was one surefire way to restore the Thousand Year Reich of the Nazis.

Pike smiled as he thought of all the carnage down in Christchurch.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was spending Friday night alone.

The ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill were down in Purgatory attending a lecture given by the ghost of Rev. Ian Paisley on what Brexit will mean for Northern Ireland.

His friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont were out on a date.

And the entire country seemed to have lost its senses over the possibility of the United Kingdom facing a no deal Brexit.

Renfield wondered whether it was a trick of light and shadow on this night but it almost looked like the sinister shadow of a swastika was trying to envelop the marble bust head of Sir Winston Churchill in his office.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 15th
2019.

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The Siren of The Sea Plays A Sweet Melody: A Poem

March 13, 2019 at 10:16 pm (Art, Arts, Culture, Literature, love, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural) (, , )


A Sea Spell 1877 by Dante Gabriel Rossetti

A great beauty was she
The Siren of the Sea
who played sweet melody

Her fingers played softly each tender string
And with melodious voice she did sing
Birds of the sea flew to hear her
Sailors landed on rocks just to be near her
So tenderly tenderly she played the cords of the lute
while caught in her long flowing hair was forbidden fruit
A garland of flowers adorned her head like a sacred crown
Luminosity shone like the sun off her golden gown

Oh divine beauty, how can it be?
I’m here with you, you’re here with me
when music plays like golden rays
And with tender eyes you gaze
Then on your lap, I’d gladly lie
as the sea waves dance to the seagull’s cry.

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday March 13th 2019.

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Between The Moon and Sixpence: A Poem

March 2, 2019 at 10:29 pm (Art, Arts, Culture, Film, Life, love, Movie Reviews, Movies, Poetry, Romance, Theology) (, )

What lies between the moon and sixpence?
A pair of broken hearts?
A man who no longer loves his job selling in the City
A man who sacrifices all for art
His wife, children and comfortable home
Leaves London for the Bohemian haunts of Paris

But the biggest thing he left behind is his soul and his humanity
He is not kind, he is not cruel
He is indifferent
Which is the cruelest cruelty of all

But he is called a genius by a fellow artist
The same man whose wife he steals
And then abandons like yesterday’s canvas
Leaving behind a broken heart that takes its own life
How can he who paints such beauty be capable of such cruelty?

That is the eternal question
A man once thought that a watch left on the beach must have a creator
The same man applied it to the cosmos
This cosmos must have a creator
But for that watch on the beach
what was its maker like?
Was he cruel?
Was he kind?
We know not.
The same applies for the cosmos.
If a maker the cosmos has
Is he cruel? Is he kind?
Iago in Verdi’s Otello says he serves a cruel god
The explanation (that Shakespeare never offered)
As to why Iago told such lies about Desdemona to his friend Othello

That is the ultimate horror
If the cosmos a creator has
is ultimately a cruel being
Rather than face that horror
that’s why many atheism and agnosticism embrace
Though ironically in Transhumanism modern
The theory is posed,
We all live in a computer generated matrix
But then who created that matrix?

To substitute God for ultimate Virtual Reality designer
The question of kindness and cruelty remains unanswered

Lucifer was an artist
That ultimate rebel
For only an artist can seduce
The Satan of the Book of Job was the fallen Archangel Samael
An angelic lawyer who fell
like lawyers are prone to do
He takes away and scatters
But he cannot seduce
like Lucifer the Devil did to Eve
He promises beauty and godhood
But cannot deliver
for he is ultimately not the source of both

Between the moon and sixpence
our artist anti-hero decides Paris is not
and goes to Tahiti
that South Pacific paradise
And will he finally find Paradise there?

There he finds Ata a South Seas woman
and there he says words he’d never thought he’d speak, “Love”
And there the man paints Eden
on the walls of his hut
Towards the end of his life he becomes kind
Not cruel
Not indifferent
For genius on its own can never find Paradise
It needs to hold the hand of Love

Angst ridden artists, poets and musicians history has seen many
Some have seduced and left broken hearts by the thousands
Others were kind and compassionate
The ability to create is a form of beauty
It is alluring
And with its allure
comes the ability to seduce

Creating beauty is only true when mixed with love and kindness
And leaves the perturbing question
Was the Creator of the Cosmos one with love?

To create a cosmos so vast and all encompassing
We mortal beings cannot comprehend such a Creator
Surely a giant?
Or maybe a phony hiding behind a curtain like that wizard of Oz?

The instances of love we can comprehend
Such as a child in its mother’s arms
The smile of the child towards mother
And the smile of the mother towards child

And that is why Oscar Wilde
whose Dorian Gray showed so shockingly how art and beauty could be used for evil
embraced as Creator the Babe who was born in Bethlehem
In whose humanity and divinity, Love and Intellect are one.

-A poem written by Christopher
Saturday March 2nd
2019
inspired by watching
the 1942 movie
The Moon and Sixpence

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Renfieldian Hypnosis: Donald Trump Sings Marty Robbins’ Out In The West Texas Town of El Paso – Updated Version

February 25, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Comedy, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Music, music videos, News, Romance, Satire, Spy Tales, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


“Out in the West Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl…”

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was learning from the Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess Lenora of Lemuria the very powerful techniques of hypnosis they practiced in that ancient civilization.

Renfield had told his good friend Amadeus Emanon that he was going to use a Lemurian hypnosis technique on Donald Trump just prior to the Donald’s giving his acceptance speech for the Presidential nomination at the Republican National Convention in 2020.

Curious as to what Renfield was up to, Amadeus decided that he couldn’t wait that long.

He went to see Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster at the Set Enterprises laboratory to see if the psychic little crustacean could pick up images from the 2020 Republican Convention.

It turned out that Michelangelo could.

Amadeus watched the convention on the television next to the lobster tank as Michelangelo worked his lobster antennae to the max and Harvey the invisible rabbit did the same with the rabbit ears on the old television.

Here was the scene at the Convention just prior to Trump giving his convention acceptance speech:

Convention Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States… Donald Trump…

Trump walks on to the stage waving to the crowd as the musical theme Hail To The Chief is being played.

While the musical theme Hail To The Chief is being played, rare 19th Century film footage of Lakota Sioux Chief Sitting Bull being hit by hail stones during a hail storm is projected on to the large film screen behind Trump.

“I see Renfield managed to successfully hypnotize the film projectionist at the Convention,” Amadeus remarked to Michelangelo.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Trump told the cheering and adoring crowd, “I’m not going to give an acceptance speech. Instead I’m going to sing a song…”

Trump grabbed the microphone, walked up the stage and started to sing,

“Out in the West Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl,
On the U.S.-Mexico border, I arranged to meet her,
And as I rode, I thought of a thousand ways to greet her,
but when I arrived on the scene, I found that some idiot had built there a wall,
and found out by hitting my head against it, it caused my fine looking toupee to fall…”

When Trump had finished singing about how he had fallen in love with a Mexican girl out in the West Texas town of El Paso, he walked backstage where he was hit full force in the face by Melania’s purse.

The First Lady was quite upset with the song’s lyrics.

A secret service agent talked in code on his walkie talkie, “Hello Jupiter, this is Top Dog. Shit Hole is down. Repeat. Shit Hole is down. He requires urgent medical attention. Fiery Slovenian has hit him. Repeat. Fiery Slovenian has hit him.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 25th
2019.

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Nice Work On The Trinity Case, Mr. Albion: A Poem

February 22, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Crime, Culture, Detective story, Entertainment, Film, Movies, Mystery, Poetry) (, , , )


“Nice work on the Trinity case, Mr. Albion.”

They came to Hollywood by the dozens
In search of fame and fortune
Positive they’d be the next goddess of the silver screen
Girls from the mid-west, girls from the northeast, girls from the south,
Girls from Canada
and girls from Mexico.

Such a girl was Trinity Esperanza
From Mexico City
19, she’d come to Hollywood with stars in her eyes
A week later
She had disappeared
A woman from another country
disappeared?
Who cares was the attitude here

Her disappearance wasn’t even reported in the press here
Just another foreigner who disappeared
Carson Cody Albion Private Eye would not have known about it
Unless the girl’s grandmother hadn’t shown up in his office

“Please find Trinity,” She begged
As she emptied her purse on the table
And with all the money sitting there
Albion looked down at the table
And counted the money in his head
$37.42

“Mrs. Esperanza,” he poured himself another glass of bourbon,
“How much money do you have in your bank account?”
” $37.42″, she answered.
Albion looked at her,
Drank the glass of bourbon
Lit himself a cigarette
And blew smoke at the ceiling
Where the fan quickly dispersed it to the 4 corners of his world-
his office.

“Put your money away,” he told Mrs. Esperanza, “this one’s on the house.”

Like all cases involving disappeared girls and Hollywood
The answer involved sex slaves and lecherous Hollywood producers
For what lay behind the red moviehouse theatre curtains
and the silver screen
was not silver
And definitely not gold

Images of dead Presidents on paper was the currency
And a lot of it
That was the language of Hollywood
Behind the scenes

Carson Cody Albion found Trinity
A prostitution ring that catered to those who lived behind the pearly gates of Beverly Hills
Paradise to those who owned the place
But Hell for some of those who worked there

Albion found Trinity
And after negotiating with the producer
Trinity was freed.
The price?
The real Maltese Falcon from that film a few years back.
Turned out the producer was a big fan of movies made by rival studios.

Albion’s burglary skills came in handy
and not even Sherlock Holmes could have solved the case
Basil Rathbone had other roles to play

Of course no one in LA seemed to care that a young Mexican girl was found
Save when Albion delivered Trinity to Mrs. Esperanza
One customer in a barber shop reflected the thinking
in general
They ought to build a wall to keep those people out
Albion looked at the man from the barber chair where he sat
“Thank God,” Albion thought, “FDR sits in the Oval Office and not this man”.

One day Albion was wandering on the set of the movie Cover Girl
When Rita Hayworth of all people addressed him,

“Nice work on the Trinity case, Mr. Albion.”
So spoke the woman whose real name was Margarita Carmen Cansino.

And on this night
Carson Cody Albion sat in a bar
He decided to order a glass of wine for a change
Maybe it was time he showed a little class as an ex-girlfriend once said to him
“Class? What is it?” Albion asked himself as he lit a cigarette

He reached into his coat pocket to pay the bill
“Put your money away,” Julio the bartender said, “this one’s on the house.”

-A Private Eye Poem
written by Christopher
Friday February 22nd
2019.

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Wilkie The Cat Plays Abraham Lincoln On Broadway: A Poem

February 18, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Arts, Celebrities, Comedy, Culture, Entertainment, Humour, Poetry, Satire, theatre, Theatre Arts) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Wilkie the feline thespian decided to celebrate Presidents’ Day 2019
By not drinking his own urine as proposed in AOC’s deal New Green
Rather he would play the role of Abraham Lincoln
and he did so after much heavy drinkin’.

Now Wilkie the Cat fancied himself the Orson Welles of Broadway
even though he was a bigger flop than a halibut caught in a codway
His proposal for a Presidents’ Day play
which drove theatregoers away
Was to play the role of Abraham Lincoln
with his catty whiskers, he’d be winkin’ and blinkin’
And his girlfriend would play Mary Todd
while the audience would play the part of Nod
which in their seats would be what they’d be doin’
As great theatre lovers underwent a serious screwin’

With encouragement from the ghost of that junior Ed Wood
Wilkie would put on the best show he could
which meant that turkey from outer space Plan 9
would when compared with Wilkie’s Lincoln look like Casablanca sublime

Wilkie fancied a play within a play like weeping over Hecuba within Hamlet
or Pyramus and Thisbe looking for rooms to let
all for the benefit of Midsummer’s wet dream
As Puck causes mortal aspirations to come apart at the seam

Wilkie’s idea was to have John Wilkes Booth as an actor on stage
appearing in Our American Cousin an 1865 theatrical rage
and have Booth shoot Lincoln from the stage rather than the Presidential Box
And allow John Wilkes Booth time to wipe the blood off his socks

Needless to say the idea sounded so much better over 10 bottles of gin
as Wilkie regaled the cast with his own peculiar historical spin
taking dramatic license to the seeming level of a mortal sin
Which it was pre-Vatican II
As Fishy Fridays
gave way to beef stew.

Sean Connery would play Our American Cousin
His line, “Miss Moneypenny, my head is abuzzin’
I have swiped the Army’s budget for the building of a wall
Because doing so I must admit makes me feel rather tall
As wearing this wee tartan kilt has me in its thrall
And the blasted neighbours won’t pay for this fine looking wall
Can you imagine their sheer arrogance and gall
And Congress won’t let me shut down government until way next fall
so I’m forced to declare an emergency even though there’s none at all.”

And Johnny Depp playing the fairy godmother of walls would appear in pink tights
giving LGBTQ members of the audience severe nocturnal frights
As Depp waves his magic wand, lo and behold
From one of his mix matched socks, a gun he does unfold
For the fairy godmother of walls is John Wilkes Booth
his night day job of exchanging nickels for a tooth
the Shakespearian actor did kindly forsooth

But Wilkie as Lincoln was eating a tuna fish sandwich
And Baphomet in the next booth was eating roast ostrich
And as William Shatner appeared as Captain James Kirk
It turned out both patrons’ food allergies were at work
With the force of a mid-Atlantic gale breeze
Wilkie and Baphomet let out a ferocious sneeze
And the wall came a tumblin’ down
right on the Statue of Liberty’s crown.

The play is over
The day is done
And Wilkie from his creditors
is now on the run.

-A Wilkie The Cat poem
written by Christopher
Monday February 18th
2019.


Theatre goers smiling because they haven’t yet seen Wilkie The Cat’s Broadway play about Abraham Lincoln.

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Renfield Wears A T-Shirt and Signs Autographs

February 10, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield was the man of the hour in Britain after his successful appearance on a special PBS episode of Firing Line in which the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. interviewed the MP.

Militant atheist Richard Dawkins (after an appearance in which he publicly burnt his jock strap that had on it a picture of Michelangelo’s Jehovah creating Adam as depicted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel) issued a statement, “I have to admit I was impressed by the seeming authenticity of the show. It does look like an episode of Firing Line that would have been directed by Orson Welles had Mr. Welles ever directed an episode of Firing Line. And Buckley’s ghost does come across like Buckley’s ghost would if he ever did a posthumous interview as the interviewer. But as every person who has absorbed my intelligent insight and analysis of the cosmos knows, “There are no ghosts or vampires or mythological beings in actual existence. There is no Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. And there’s definitely no God.”

“I say,” Amadeus Emanon spoke to his girlfriend Angelique Dumont as he ate some popcorn and watched Dawkins on television, “If Dawkins as a militant atheist is burning his jockstrap with a picture of Michelangelo’s Creating Adam on it in imitation of the militant feminists of the late 1960s publicly burning their bras, now my knowledge of history might be somewhat misty but didn’t the militant feminists of the late 1960s at least take their bras off first?”.

“Oh shit,” Dawkins could be heard screaming as someone rushed forward with a fire extinguisher to extinguish his smouldering jockstrap.

“Maybe Dawkins will compose an atheist hymn with the lyrics Nearer My Jockstrap To Thee,” Renfield remarked as he signed autographs from adoring fans and wore a t-shirt that said,

GILLETTE:
The Fruitiest A Man Can Get.

Meanwhile American Catholic bishops and their priestly advisors were packing Gillette shaving products in their suitcases as they headed off to Rome for The Vatican Special Meeting On Predatory Pederast Priests.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau looked at the RCMP report in front of him.

The report detailed the investigation into the abduction of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s personal pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever who had been kidnapped by the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (daughter of Dr. Fu Manchu) last December and would only be released when Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou was released fully from custody and not extradited to the U.S.

Justin missed his little cannabis pot smoking greenhouse buddy with the prickly needles and his whacky weedy smile.

But the RCMP were unable to find the lost 1960s hippy commune of Calypso’s Bosom on the Canadian West Coast’s Sechelt Peninsula where the marijuana smoking desert plant was being held.

Seeing as how the commune was an Age of Aquarius New Age equivalent of Scotland’s mythical mystical village of Brigadoon, that was no surprise.

. . .


Semiramis the Queen of Babylon to her date Dracul Van Helsing before going out: How do you like my high heeled shoes, Dracul darling?
The better to crush my ex-husband Nimrod the little green frog with, don’t you think?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 10th
2019.

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Special Firing Line Episode On PBS: Ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. Interviews British MP Renfield R. Renfield

February 9, 2019 at 11:48 pm (Commentary, Culture, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Due to the cosmic intertwining of the CERN Large Hadron Collidor in Switzerland and Dracul Van Helsing’s time travelling Houdini-Tesla-Pantages prototype Magic Lantern in a West Hollywood repertory movie theatre, this year’s supernaturally produced episode of PBS’ Firing Line featuring the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. interviewing British MP Renfield R. Renfield was able to be watched by actor Jimmy Stewart and actress Lana Turner on the set of the film Ziegfeld Girl in 1941.

Due to Hades the Greek god of the Underworld wanting to see it happen and His Conceited Humbleness Pope Francis not wanting to see it happen, Hades ordered the temporary dispensational release of the ghost of the conservative commentator William F. Buckley Jr. from Purgatory to interview British MP Renfield R. Renfield on a special episode of the PBS public affairs show Firing Line on television.

Studio floor director for the show would be the ghost of Orson Welles.

The studio audience would be made up of the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill surrounded by the ghosts of the greatest of the female Ziegfeld Follies girls of the 1920s and ’30s.

As the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill sat in the audience with a big cigar, an ample bottle of brandy and one huge smile on his face, the show began.

“So, tell me, Mr. Renfield,” Buckley’s ghost sat there with a huge spectral copy of The Complete and Unabridged Oxford Dictionary on his lap giving him a spectral hernia, “if you could sum up what’s wrong with the state of America today in just one sentence, what would you say?”.

“Well,” Renfield poured himself a 20 ounce glass of Jack Daniel’s, “if you keep in mind that the terms I use in my statement are the terms exactly as defined by the Greek philosopher Plato in his work The Republic, America’s biggest problem is that its left wing oligarchy suffers from the massive delusion that it is a genuine aristocracy while its rightist tyrant suffers from the massive delusion that he is a genuine monarch.”

“I say,” Buckley was impressed, “That’s quite good actually.”

“Thank you,” Renfield grinned.

In the studio audience, Churchill’s ghost applauded as a lovely and very curvy Ziegfeld girl massaged his cigar.

In the TV audience at home watching, Bill Clinton seethed with jealousy as he saw Churchill’s cigar being massaged.

As for Hillary, she seethed with indignation at Renfield’s comment about the left wing oligarchy since it hit a little too close to home for her liking.

“And what of Russia?” Buckley asked as he sipped from a cup of tea with a picture of the late Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev on it bearing the tattoed inscription LOSER on his forehead.

“Well,” Renfield ignored the Russian bear (possessed by the ghost of Rasputin) operating Camera #2 trying to hypnotize him with his magnetic looking eyes, “Russia’s problem is Vladimir Putin who’s trying to create a country that’s a synthesis of old Czarist Imperial Russia and the Stalinist Soviet Union. Such a synthesis is ultimately bound to fail.”

“And what then should Putin do?” Buckley asked as he picked up a copy of Nikolay Chernyshevsky’s 1863 novel What Is To Be Done?.

“Drop the Stalinist model and concentrate all efforts on Czarist Imperial Russia returning,” Renfield remarked as he drank from a very rare 1894 bottle of Russian vodka.

“Hear! Hear!” Churchill’s ghost ejaculated as his right leg was being massaged by a beautiful and very lovely White Russian exile girl Ziegfeld dancer.

“And what about China?” Buckley asked as he ate from a Lydo Chinese Food Styrofoam carton that had a picture of Richard M. Nixon and Chairman Mao Tse-tung eating 1000-year-old eggs and washing them down with bucketloads of French champagne on the carton cover.

“Well,” Renfield gazed at the lovely Asian dragon emblazoned slit skirted dress wearing vampiresses the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (daughter of the late Dr. Fu Manchu so maligned by Sax Rohmer) and the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (granddaughter of the late Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh) who were espionage operatives for the Beijing government and were standing at the back of the studio, “China is the world’s true superpower while America is the Wizard of Oz full of hot air and sitting behind a curtain and trying to shadow box with others by using faded silhouettes of its former glory.”

“My country reduced to the light and shadow contrasts of dark alleys and dying street lamps of the set of an old Film Noir movie,” the ghost of Orson Welles made a cameo appearance statement to the camera.

“On another matter,” Buckley smiled with the beatific smile of a smiling Buddha as the Shall We Dance? theme from the movie The King and I played in the background, “why have your former boss the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and his Persian carpet warehouse business partner the Persian goddess Anahita decided to try and make Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya the next Prime Minister of Thailand?”.

Renfield looked like he had been hit by a sledgehammer (which he would have been by both Mei-ling Manchu and Ho Babylon Minh on orders of the entity known as the Black Dragon if he hadn’t answered the question about China in the correct way).

“What?” Renfield looked totally shocked.

“Well,” Renfield regained his composure, “it’s like the man said to the mousetrap when it caught ahold of his testicles, You’ve really got me there.”

-A vampire novel
written by Christopher
Saturday February 9th
2019.


Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya: The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and the Persian goddess Anahita want her to become the next Prime Minister of Thailand.


Homage is being paid to Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya by Watson Holmes the Executive Vice-President of Set Enterprises


Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya: Renfield R. Renfield was unable to answer the $64 million dollar question about her connection to Set and Anahita posed by the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. on the PBS public affairs program Firing Line.


The Persian goddess Anahita: What does she have planned for Thailand?
Only the vampire Set and her hairdresser know for sure.

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