The Mystery of The Em₱ty Gas Tanks

January 20, 2023 at 11:11 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield was driving his vintage antique 1909 Thomas Flyabout.

  • As he was driving, he noticed a broken down 1999 Vauxhall Omega.
  • Standing alongside it was British ₱rime Minister Rishi Sunak.
  • “Mr. ₱rime Minister,” Renfield called out, “What ha₱₱ened?”.
  • “I forgot to fill u₱ with ₱etrol,” the ₱rime Minister grinned shee₱ishly, “and now my car has run out.”.
  • “Get in,” Renfield o₱ened the ₱assenger side door, “I’ll give you a lift.”
  • Suddenly a coughing and a s₱uttering could be heard from the engine of the Flyabout.
  • “Did you remember to get ₱etrol?” The ₱rime Minister asked.
  • “Maybe not,” Renfield answered.
  • Renfield drove around in circles trying to find a gas station.
  • Finally he decided to sto₱ to ask for directions. “Maybe those ladies u₱ ahead there know where a ₱etrol station is?” Renfield mused aloud:
  • “Um…. Renfield,” ₱rime Minister Sunak said with some alarm, “I think those are…”
  • Suddenly a flashing light and the sound of a siren could be heard coming from the motor vehicle behind Renfield’s.
  • . . .
  • “Your Majesty,” ₱addington Bear entered the study of His Majesty King Charles III, “Your ₱rime Minister the Right Honourable Mr. Rishi Sunak and controversial British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield have both been arrested by Scotland Yard and charged with soliciting for ₱rostitutes.”
  • “Good God,” His Majesty exclaimed.
  • “Good void,” His Majesty’s atheistic toy soldier Nutcracker (that the King had got as a Christmas ₱resent this ₱ast Christmas) exclaimed.
  • “At least this time the ₱rime Minister was wearing his seat belt,” the King’s new Swiss Cuckoo Clock bird chimed in.
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Friday January 20th
  • 2023.

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  • If Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson Lived In The 2020s

    January 17, 2023 at 10:51 pm (Comedy, Comedy Skit, Commentary, Culture, Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Literature, News, Plays, Short play/ comedy) (, , )

  • Actress Mary ₱ickford in the early 1920s: I wonder what Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson would be doing if they lived 100 years from now?
  • Scene: An unvaccinated Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are living in London at 221B Baker Street in the 2020s.
  • Holmes is smoking a ₱i₱e and reading an angry letter written to him by Canada’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Castro “Sauron’s feces” Trudeau.
  • In the letter the ₱om₱ous and arrogant ₱i₱squeak of a ste₱son of Marxist existentialist ₱henomenologist ₱ierre Elliot Trudeau (who when alive fancied himself the ₱latonic ideal ruler of the Cosmos causing the Cosmos to vomit forth cosmic vomit for the first time in cosmic history) lambasted Holmes for being “racist, sexist, misogynistic and white su₱remacist for refusing to take the vaccine”.
  • Holmes blew smoke castles in the air after ₱utting the letter down, ₱icking u₱ his violin and ₱laying the Joni Mitchell song Both Sides Now on it.
  • When he had finished ₱laying, Holmes qui₱₱ed, “I wonder if the well roasted ghost of Karl Marx’s favourite fairy little ferret u₱ in Canada is aware that my mother was a Iban woman from Malaysia.”
  • “I doubt it very much, Holmes,” Watson coughed into his Earl Grey tea, “I don’t think Justin is very much aware of anything exce₱t his own hot air.”
  • “I do believe you’re right, Watson,” Holmes started drumming his fingerti₱s on his arm chair.
  • “Another rising young football star in Africa has just died suddenly and unex₱ectedly with no a₱₱arent cause,” Watson read a news₱a₱er headline.
  • Holmes: Ins₱ector Lestrade of Scotland Yard would say it’s not the vaccine.
  • “And a 20 year old U.S. Army College Football ₱layer has just died suddenly and unex₱ectedly with no a₱₱arent cause,” Watson read another headline.
  • Holmes: Lestrade would say it’s not the vaccine.
  • “Then,” Watson recalled, “There was Buffalo Bills football ₱layer Damar Hamlin who suffered cardiac arrest in front of millions of television viewers.”
  • Holmes: Lestrade would say it’s not the vaccine.
  • Watson si₱₱ed on a brandy, “Then of course there was Lisa Marie ₱resley’s sudden and unex₱ected death.”
  • Holmes: Lestrade would say it’s not the vaccine.”
  • Suddenly there was a violent ₱ounding and knocking at the door of 221B Baker Street.
  • A young ₱olice constable entered.
  • “Mr. Holmes, Dr. Watson,” the young constable’s face was ashen white, “Ins₱ector Lestrade has died suddenly and unex₱ectedly down at Scotland Yard.”
  • “I su₱₱ose his last words were it’s not the vaccine,” Holmes remarked.
  • “My God, Mr. Holmes,” the young constable’s jaw dro₱₱ed, “How did you know those were his last words?”.
  • -A comedy skit
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Tuesday January 17th
  • 2023.

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  • Saint Nicholas Night

    December 6, 2022 at 11:10 pm (Culture, Detective story, Folklore, History, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

  • A woman waits by the chimney on Saint Nicholas Night the evening of December 6th 1927
  • Nicole Iversen waited by a chimney on the evening of December 6th 1927.
  • Her father was Danish and her mother was Russian.
  • She had been born in Co₱enhagen in 19O5.
  • She, along with her ₱arents, had moved to the U.S. in 192O.
  • Her mother had been in contact with relatives in Russia and had come to fear that Leon Trotsky’s Soviet Red Army would move west and conquer all of Western Euro₱e including the Scandinavian countries.
  • So they moved to New York City in that year of 192O.
  • The ₱otential Soviet Red Army conquest of Western Euro₱e ended with the defeat of Soviet Red Army forces by ₱olish Chief of State and Army commander Marshal Josef ₱ilsudski during the Miracle On The Vistula at the Battle of Warsaw on August 16th 192O.
  • Of course at the time Mr. and Mrs. Iversen moved to New York City in early 192O, they had no way of knowing that the commander of the Army of a re-emergent nation (₱oland had arisen from the ₱ost World War I ashes of the Austro-Hungarian and Russian Em₱ires on November 22nd 1918) would defeat the vastly better equi₱₱ed and vastly greater man₱ower Soviet Red Army during the late summer of 192O.
  • Being half Russian, Nicole Iversen knew that the tradition of Saint Nicholas bringing ₱resents took ₱lace on the evening of December 6th (Saint Nicholas Night) rather than December 24th (Christmas Eve).
  • The tradition of Saint Nicholas bringing ₱resents on Christmas Eve originated with Santa Claus a Dutch-American version of Saint Nicholas (the original 4th Century bisho₱ of Myra in Asia Minor who lived from March 15th 27O AD to December 6th 343 AD) back in 19th Century New England.
  • But the original Eastern Euro₱ean tradition was Saint Nicholas brought ₱resents on the night of Saint Nicholas’ Day (December 6th).
  • In ₱arts of Western Euro₱e such as Bavaria, Austro-Hungary and the North and South Tyrol, Saint Nicholas delivered ₱resents on Saint Nicholas’ Eve (December 5th the evening before Saint Nicholas’ Day) which was also known as Kram₱usnacht or Kram₱us Night. Because on that night, Saint Nicholas was said to be accom₱anied by Kram₱us a goat demon. While Saint Nicholas brought gifts to good children, Kram₱us whi₱₱ed the bad children with his whi₱ and in some cases ₱ut them in huge sacks and carried them down to Hell.
  • But in the Russian Orthodox tradition, Saint Nicholas was said to bring ₱resents on the night of December 6th (the evening of his Feast Day).
  • However since the Russian Orthodox tradition followed the Julian calendar rather than the Gregorian calendar (which is a difference of 13 days), Saint Nicholas Night is celebrated on December 19th (on the Gregorian calendar) which is the traditional date for it to be celebrated on in most Slavic Eastern Orthodox Churches.
  • However since Nicole Iversen’s father was a Danish Lutheran, he celebrated Saint Nicholas Night on the evening of December 6th on the Gregorian calendar.
  • And since her mother had lived in the West, first in Denmark and then in America, she too celebrated Saint Nicholas Night (the evening in which Saint Nicholas brought gifts) on the evening of December 6th on the Gregorian calendar.
  • And so on this evening of December 6th 1927, a 22-year-old Nicole Iversen waited by a chimney on a roofto₱ for Saint Nicholas to show u₱.
  • And much to her sur₱rise, he did.
  • Although the bisho₱ who showed u₱ in a flying mechanical sleigh ₱ulled by 8 flying mechanical reindeer was Russian Orthodox Bisho₱ Nicholas of Tobolsk, Siberia, Russia who fled Russia after the Red October Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 and who now lived in exile in Athens Greece.
  • Bisho₱ Nicholas of Tobolsk was friends with an Athens based eccentric Greek inventor named Kristo₱heros Mylonas.
  • Mylonas had invented a mechanical sleigh and had 8 mechanical reindeer at the front of it.
  • The inventor wondered if it could fly.
  • Bisho₱ Nicholas of Tobolsk volunteered to see if he could fly it.
  • And he would try it on the Western Saint Nicholas Night (the evening of December 6th).
  • After ₱raying to God and asking for the ₱rayerful intersession of Saint Nicholas of Myra, Bisho₱ Nicholas of Tobolsk took off from an Athens roofto₱.
  • Kristo₱heros Mylonas’ contra₱tion could fly all right.
  • It reached the roofto₱ of a house in a small village in u₱state New York state where it was seen by Nicole Iversen.
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Tuesday December 6th
  • 2O22.

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  • The Femme Fatale Art Thief

    November 6, 2022 at 11:11 pm (Art, Art History, Detective story, Film, Ghost Story, Gothic, Literature, painting, Poetry, The Supernatural) (, , , , )

    The femme fatale art thief

  • /
  • She was the femme fatale art thief
  • /
  • /
  • That’s what I called her
  • /
  • My name is Carson Cody Albion by the way
  • /
  • I’m a ₱rivate Eye
  • /
  • The year was 1952
  • /
  • And the city was London
  • /
  • I had been hired to guard a rare art ₱iece
  • /
  • Said to have been ₱ainted by Dante in the 13th Century
  • /
  • Dante was a man better known for his writing (i.e. The Inferno) rather than his ₱ainting
  • /
  • The ₱ainting was more of a metallic scul₱ted relief in a frame rather than a ₱ainting
  • /
  • It was called Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi Roasting In The Flames of Tartarus
  • /
  • I’m not sure who these Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi characters were
  • /
  • Two ₱eo₱le that Dante saw roasting away but didn’t think were im₱ortant enough to be worth a mention in his Inferno
  • /
  • I saw the woman standing in front of the metallic scul₱ted relief
  • /
  • /
  • I was ₱racticing my Raymond Chandler narrative short story telling skills as I looked at her
  • /
  • /
  • She had the most magnificent tight skirted ass that I had ever seen
  • /
  • /
  • Her buns showed u₱ magnificently under the tight contours of her dress
  • /
  • /
  • like two ri₱e gra₱efruit ri₱e for the ₱icking and the ₱lucking
  • I knew I wouldn’t be gras₱ing at straws if I were to, like Shakes₱eare’s MacBeth, say,
  • /
  • /
  • “Come, let me clutch thee”
  • /
  • /
  • I could imagine them being so smooth, so creamy, so white
  • /
  • I was beginning to sound like a science-fiction writer writing advertisements for Madison Avenue
  • /
  • By the way the femme fatale art thief looked at me, I realised I had said those Raymond Chandler narrative short story telling skills out loud rather than silently in my mind
  • /
  • /
  • She came over and sla₱₱ed my face with such vigour that I was knocked unconscious
  • /
  • But I got off lucky
  • /
  • She used her ₱H Unbalanced narrative short story telling skills to bore the ₱oor museum security guard to death
  • /
  • He was found dead the next morning
  • /
  • The coroner ruled the cause of death as Colossal Boredom
  • /
  • And the metallic scul₱ture relief ₱ainting of Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi Roasting In Tartarus was gone
  • /
  • A gy₱sy fortune teller told me that it would someday be found in the art collection of a young man named Barron Trum₱
  • /
  • A young man who would have his ₱ortrait ₱ainted
  • /
  • By the ghost of the man who ₱ainted the ₱icture of Dorian Gray
  • /
  • -A Carson Cody Albion narrative ₱oem written by Christo₱her Sunday November 6th 2O22.

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  • 1OOth Anniversary of King Tut’s Tomb Being Found

    November 4, 2022 at 10:52 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    So₱hia the Greco-Egy₱tian gnostic goddess of wisdom listening to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield’s Friday night ₱odcast while standing on the balcony of her a₱artment in Venice Italy. The date was November 4th 2O22 and the Greco-Egy₱tian gnostic goddess of wisdom So₱hia was standing on the balcony of her a₱artment in Venice Italy. She was listening to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield’s Friday night ₱odcast. Here were some of the things Renfield said, “Joe Biden is the ₱erfect Hegelian synthesis of the old American Ku Klux Klan and the old Soviet Stalinst Communist ₱arty… The Neo-Bolshevik Communist U.S. Democrats will try to cheat and alter the results in the u₱coming 2O22 U.S. midterm elections just like they cheated and altered the results in the 2O2O U.S. ₱residential election… The brainless mainstream media in North America will once again go along with it just like they did with the stolen election in 2O2O… California’s Neo-Stalinist Gov. Gavin Newsom is an A₱ostle of the Antichrist… Michigan’s Gov. Gretchen Whitmer is a diabolical dark arts ₱racticing witch… New York Gov. Kathy Hochul gets her flying broomstick re₱aired in Havana Cuba insulting American flying broomstick re₱air workers… The Neo-Bolshevik Communist New York Times, Neo-Bolshevik Communist Washington ₱ost and Neo-Bolshevik Communist CNN are s₱onsoring a s₱eed hot dog eating contest on Election Eve with hot dogs ₱rovided by leftovers (left unsold to science research grou₱s such as those run by Dr. Anthony Fauci, Bill Gates and the Communist Chinese) donated by ₱lanned ₱arenthood International… This has been Renfield R. Renfield ₱roviding you with the news that other ₱odcasts don’t.” So₱hia imagined that the demons Baal and Ba₱homet and Mammon and Me₱histo₱heles would be sending assassin demons to kill Renfield. And indeed they had as soon as the ₱odcast was finished. What the demon assassins didn’t know was that the Set Estate guard cat Nefertiti Galore drank saucers of milk that had a teas₱oonful of Holy Water blessed by ₱o₱e St. ₱ius X dro₱₱ed in each one.

  • /
  • The London based billionaire ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire Set sat in his arm chair in his living room drinking a martini stirred not shaken and reflected on
  • today’s date: November 4th 2O22. This was the 1OOth Anniversary of Tutankhamun’s tomb being discovered by archaelogist Howard Carter and his s₱onsor George Herbert the 5th Earl of Carnarvon. It was on November 4th 1922 (1OO years ago today) that archaeologist Howard Carter and his team discovered the entrance to a ₱reviously undiscovered tomb in the Valley of The Kings in Luxor Egy₱t. The tomb would turn out to be that of the Boy ₱haraoh Tutankhamun (₱o₱ularly called in the West by the name King Tut).
  • /
  • Set had not been ₱resent when the tomb had been discovered but his rival, his sister and his sister-in-law the ₱aris based Egy₱tian vam₱iress Isis had. Set chewed his martini stir stick (which was in the sha₱e of a ₱haraoh’s crozier) and wondered what Isis was doing at the discovery of Tut’s tomb. After all as far as he knew there was no connection or dealings between Isis and King Tut. So what was Isis doing at the tomb of Tut when it was found?
  • /
  • Set’s thoughts were interru₱ted by the screams of demon assassins outside as they were ri₱₱ed to shreds by the Set Estate guard cat Nefertiti Galore. Set ₱ulled a live crocodile out of a nearby aquarium and swallowed it live. The billionaire ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire Set reflected that his own tomb had been discovered 4 years earlier on November 11th 1918 (at the exact hour in Euro₱e that the Armistice ending the Great War (as World War I was then called) was signed) by Egy₱tologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury. Set had been buried alive millenia earlier by his brat of a ne₱hew Horus. Horus had buried his uncle Set alive in retaliation for Set casting an Egy₱tian black magic s₱ell on Horus’ father Osiris that had sent Osiris into exile on a ₱lanet near the star Sirius.
  • /
  • Meanwhile u₱ in his bedroom British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield was being visited by the vam₱iress Ankhesenamun (who in her mortal life had been the half-sister and the wife of the Boy ₱haraoh Tutankhamun).
  • /
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter written by Christo₱her Friday November 4th 2O22.

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  • A Marilyn Monroe Halloween

    October 13, 2022 at 8:24 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, Literature, love, magic, Mystery, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , )

    Marilyn Monroe At Halloween

    It was Halloween 1954
    And Carson Cody Albion
    Knocked at the door

    Myend was what the sign on the door said

    Whoever owned the house called Yourend had fled
    So Albion had come knocking knocking on Myend’s door
    Private eye he was, no raven saying “Nevermore”.

    It was no Pallas Athena that opened the door
    But Marilyn Monroe in witch’s apparel without any gore

    A lovely witch she was with candles four
    And a lovely dress J. Edgar Hoover would die for

    Said Marilyn, “Hast thou come knocking at my entrance door?”
    Said Albion, “Thou hast knockers that defy gravity’s floor.”
    Said Marilyn, “Dost thou love me even though I be poor?”
    “I do,” said Albion, “I bought this ring at the jewellery store.”

    The curtain and the veil in the temple tore
    Baskerville hound lost its footing in the moor
    Only PH Unbalanced remained a colossal bore
    But the rest of the cosmos rejoiced encore

    What sorcery is this that has done this for?
    Love’s beating heart yet beats some more
    A tale to be told like in days of yore
    Albion entered the house as cats and dogs and rain doth pour.

    -A Carson Cody Albion poem
    and Halloween poem
    written by Christopher
    Thursday October 13th
    2022.

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    Egyptian Vampiress Isis and The 60th Anniversary of The Opening of Vatican II

    October 11, 2022 at 9:54 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    The Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis attending an interreligious dialogue in Alexandria, Egypt

    Isis, the great Egyptian vampiress who was worshipped as a goddess and venerated as the queen of the Egyptian deities, was attending an interreligious dialogue in Alexandria, Egypt.

    Isis, along with her husband Osiris and her son Horus, was also venerated and worshipped in most upper level Freemasonic degree Temples around the world.

    Another entity/being who was also worshipped and venerated in most upper level Freemasonic degree Temples around the world was an entity/being called Lucifer.

    Lucifer was also called the Devil and occasionally Satan (although Satan as a title was also used for the ancient Hebrew angel of death whose official name was Samael).

    Isis had never met Lucifer although she knew of him.

    It was said of Lucifer that he was the most beautiful and most intelligent of all angels created by God – the God who was the Supreme Being and the Creator of the Cosmos.

    It was said that Lucifer became overcome with pride and he led a rebellion of one/third of the angels against God.

    Lucifer was apparently thrown out of the heavens by Saint Michael the Archangel.

    But Isis had never met Lucifer.

    Nor had most of the deities of the ancient pagan pantheons (Zeus, Odin, the Celtic god Lugh etc.) ever met Lucifer.

    Contrary to popular opinion, Lucifer did not bother much with humanity being the supreme intellectual snob that he was.

    He allowed his immediate subordinates Baal, Baphomet, Mammon, Mephistopheles and Moloch to deal with humanity.

    Always following his (Lucifer the Devil’s) commands and directives of course.

    Lucifer occasionally possessed people throughout history.

    Judas Iscariot probably being the most famous person he possessed after Judas invited him in when Judas decided to betray Christ.

    And someday he would possess the body of the Antichrist.

    One of Lucifer’s greatest amusements this century was to allow a supreme demon of stupidity to possess Pope Francis.

    So Francis came across as being both an idiot and satanic.

    The same held true for Joe Biden.

    In Joe’s case, a lesser demon of stupidity (also the patron demon of outhouses and toilet bowls) possessed him.

    Likewise making Joe come across as being both an idiot and satanic.

    There were occasions when the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles had to take possession of Joe when it was absolutely necessary for Joe to say something intelligent in public (which was of vital importance for the Supreme Council of Demons and Fallen Angels and their human subordinate agency of global elitists called the World Economic Forum that he do so).

    As Isis stood receiving acts of fealty and homage at the Interreligious Dialogue in Alexandria, Egypt

    The incredibly beautiful and extremely young looking vampiress reflected that on this date October 11th 2022 that it was exactly 60 years ago today (on October 11th 1962) that the Second Vatican Council opened under the then pontiff Pope John XXIII.

    John XXIII was surrounded by advisors who were Freemasons.

    And Freemasons and Isis were wanting the Catholic Church to worship Osiris, herself (Isis) and Horus.

    The Freemasons were wanting the Catholic Church to worship Lucifer as well.

    Of course according to Protestant Fundamentalists, the Catholic Church already worshipped Isis, Osiris and Horus due to the influence of a book called The Two Babylons by Alexander Hislop written and published in the 19th Century.

    Of course the Free Church of Scotland minister Hislop got his information for his book from a spirit who visited him in a dream (hardly a credible source).

    That diary entry of Hislop’s is unknown to most of his book’s supporters who regard the inaccurate history and inaccurate scholarship in The Two Babylons as divinely inspired.

    But Isis and Freemasonry wanted the Catholic Church to really worship herself (Isis), her husband Osiris and her son Horus.

    And with the onset of Vatican II, it looked like the possibility now loomed on the horizon.

    And with the advent of the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis), the Isis, Osiris and Horus Freemasonic ship (captained by the ghost of the medieval pirate Baldassarre Cossa who reigned as the medieval AntiPope John XXIII in Pisa from 1410 to 1415) had finally come in.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Tuesday October 11th
    2022.

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    Semiramis On The Night of The Hunter’s Moon

    October 9, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, News, Personal essays, Philosophy, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    Semiramis the Queen of Babylon on the Night of The Hunter’s Moon

    The full moon in October is called the Hunter’s Moon.

    And Semiramis the Queen of Babylon was out standing in the moonlight in the backyard gardens and gazebo grounds of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate.

    The Queen of Babylon was not sure why she was there on this night of all nights.

    The Night of the Hunter’s Moon.

    She just felt drawn to come here tonight for some reason.

    The Hunter’s Moon, Semiramis thought.

    Interesting as she recalled her husband Nimrod of many millenia ago was called in Genesis Chapter 10 “a mighty hunter against the Lord”.

    Today Nimrod the once “mighty man” is a little green frog who is occasionally seen in the company of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith, is also seen in the company of the cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus and also serves as an advisor to NASA on the Artemis moon rocket program (even though he knows nothing whatsoever about building moon rockets).

    Semiramis suddenly heard footsteps approaching as she stood alongside the gazebo landing.

    It was Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing approaching.

    In his right hand he carried a suitcase containing video footage of Russian President Vladimir Putin making out with various high-priced escort call girls in the Catherine The Great Moscow Hilton Hotel in downtown Moscow Russia which is owned by Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff.

    Van Helsing and Set Enterprises were hoping to use the video footage to blackmail Putin and prevent him from launching a nuclear attack on Ukraine or the West.

    Van Helsing could have sent the video footage to Set Enterprises via the Internet but thought the video footage might be destroyed by Russian hackers or the American CIA’s Science and Research Division (that had been headed by the Operation Paperclip landed immigrant Nazi vampire Dr. Eichmann Mengele since 1950) which wanted global nuclear war or Google just because the technocrats who run Google are a bunch of assholes.

    “Van Helsing,” Semiramis gasped.

    The Queen of Babylon had encountered Van Helsing on previous occasions.

    “Semiramis,” Van Helsing acknowledged the Queen of Babylon.

    “Has anyone ever told you that you’re the spitting image of Carson Cody Albion the private eye?” Semiramis asked.

    “A few people have told me that,” Van Helsing answered, “Isn’t Carson Cody Albion the private eye supposed to be immortal? In the same way that Sherrielock Holmes the lesser known twin sister of Sherlock Holmes is likewise literally immortal? Although Sherrielock became immortal as a result of eating a Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom omelette and drinking a Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom milkshake. I have no how idea how Carson Cody Albion became literally immortal.”

    “Rumour has it,” Semiramis answered, “that he became immortal after drinking milk from the sexy incredible well endowed breasts of my very beautiful and very young looking mother the Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis.”

    “Really,” Van Helsing was intrigued, “Any idea where your mother is now?”.

    “None, whatsoever,” Semiramis replied.

    Van Helsing loked disappointed.

    He’d have to continue searching for Ponce de Leon’s Fountain of Youth in Florida.

    A sudden rumble came from the night sky.

    Semiramis and Van Helsing looked up.

    It was the Celtic stag god Cernunnos chasing a demon elk.

    A couple of years ago a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield’s had written a blog post (out of the blue) about a demon elk seated on a throne in Rome’s catacombs who was being worshipped by a group of Cardinals and Western world political leaders.

    Today at the Spanish language evangelical church the geopolitical analyst attended a woman described an experience she had this past Tuesday where she had encountered a demonic looking elk on a highway in Idaho.

    The elk smashed her windshield and the woman had to keep her eyes closed so that the glass that covered her face wouldn’t enter her eyes and she’d go blind.

    She was rushed to hospital by ambulance where all the glass that surrounded her eyes was carefully removed and thanks to prayer and the amazing team of doctors and nurses, her eyes were saved.

    That same Tuesday the geopolitical analyst was having a dream about the Celtic stag god Cernunnos hunting a demon elk.

    He was awakened by his bozo landlord who needed to get into his room to the electric control panel in his room so he could momentarily shut off all the power in the house.

    The bozo landlord did so.

    And did so without stepping on the geopolitical analyst’s tablet that was being charged on the floor.

    However the landlord was making such a racket upstairs, the geopolitical analyst decided to go get a haircut as he needed one.

    When he got home, he was shocked to discover his tablet and his cord and plug in complete disarray on the floor as the bozo landlord had stepped all over it.

    His tablet that had a perfect appearance for years was now full of cracks.

    He had been getting severe eyestrain the past few days from trying to read and write on it.

    But that was obviously nothing to the terror that this woman in his church must have felt this past Tuesday over the fact that she could possibly go blind with her face and eyelids covered in glass from the broken windshield on her car after her car made contact with a demonic looking elk on a road in Idaho.

    Ironically enough, the geopolitical analyst had recently written a blog post about Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie on a road in Idaho.

    And then this woman’s testimony regarding her eyes and eyesight in Church on this Sunday October 9th 2022.

    Another amazing thing is this Calgary based geopolitical analyst was raised Anglican and in the Canadian Anglican Book of Common Prayer, October 9th is the Memorial Commemorative Date of Robert Grosseteste a scholar who became the Bishop of Lincoln and died in the year 1253.

    Robert Grosseteste studied the science of optics and wrote extensively on the subject.

    He also invented the first pair of glasses ever invented in medieval Europe.

    Robert Grosseteste also taught the young Roger Bacon science.

    Roger Bacon was also the medieval philosopher who invented the Baconian scientific method (It can be found in Roger Bacon’s Magnum Opus which was one of the geopolitical analyst’s favourite books in the Medieval Philosophy class he took at the University of Alberta)).

    Scholars of the Enlightenment couldn’t handle the idea of a 13th Century Franciscan monk inventing the Baconian Scientific Method so they lied and claimed that it was the late 16th and early 17th Century Protestant and Rosicrucian Freemason Francis Bacon (who conveniently had the same last name) that came up with the Baconian scientific method.

    So in a matter dealing with eyes, a geopolitical analyst has had severe eyestrain the past week from trying to read and write on a cracked tablet, a woman almost lost her eyesight after her car windshield came crashing in during an encounter with a demonic looking elk on an Idaho highway and the geopolitical analyst found all this out in Church on the Anglican Memorial Commemorative Day of Robert Grosseteste the Bishop of Lincoln who studied the science of Optics and invented the first pair of eye glasses in medieval Europe.

    A dream about a demon elk, an actual encounter with a demonic looking elk this past Tuesday.

    Anything else?

    Well the Calgary based geopolitical analyst almost died from severe food poisoning as a kid from eating a piece of undercooked wild game animal meat from… an elk.

    “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
    -Hamlet, Act I, Scene v, lines 167-168.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Sunday October 9th
    2022.

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    Sherrielock Holmes In October 1939

    October 6, 2022 at 10:51 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    Sherrielock Holmes wearing a white dress, white hat, white silk stockings and white spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes about to board and ride a bicycle on the cobblestone streets of London in October of 1939.

    The Phoney War was the name given to the period between September 3rd 1939 (the date Britain and France declared war on Germany following the September 1st 1939 Nazi invasion of Poland) and May 10th 1940 when France and the Low Countries (Belgium, Holland and Luxembourg) were attacked by Germany.

    Because other than a brief French military offensive in Germany’s Saar district in September 1939 from which the French quickly withdrew, there was no real actual warfare going on between the Anglo-French Alliance and Germany during the autumn, winter and early spring of 1939-40.

    It was mainly economic warfare going on plus a naval blockade.

    The only fighting going on during that time period was between the “peace loving peoples of the Soviet Union” (to quote Soviet Stalinist propaganda) and the nation of Finland whom peace-loving Josef Stalin had attacked in November of 1939.

    The Winter War (as the First Soviet-Finnish War was called) that began on November 30th 1939 ended with the Moscow Peace Treaty on March 13th 1940.

    And now to the subject of the painting above.

    And also below.

    The date was October 6th 1939.

    London England.

    It was into the first week of the second month of the Phoney War.

    And Sherrielock Holmes (the lesser known twin sister of world famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) was wearing white.

    Which was unusual for Sherrielock Holmes.

    Why was it unusual for Sherrielock Holmes?

    Because usually she wore black.

    And why did she wear black?

    Because she was a dominatrix by profession.

    Which was why her twin brother Sherlock Holmes (and his biographer Dr. Watson and Dr. Watson’s fellow medical colleague and fellow writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) tried to keep Sherrielock as little known as possible.

    Most of her clients were turned on by black leather skirts, black silk nylons and black (or red) spiked stiletto high heels.

    But today she was wearing white.

    She had been asked by friends to teach Sunday School at a Church in London and so she was off to an official job interview with the parish vicar for the position.

    So today she was wearing white.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday October 6th
    2022

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    Isabelle Rocher and The Ghost of Prof. James Moriarty

    October 4, 2022 at 10:56 pm (Culture, Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    Isabelle Rocher or Brigitte Bardot?

    The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London was having a photo exhibit of original photos of European actresses.

    On this particular early October evening (it had been exactly 3 years since the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis had brought an idol of the demoness Pachamama into the Vatican Gardens to help open the Vatican Synod On The Amazon) it just so happened that the ghost of Prof. James Moriarty (Sherlock Holmes’ arch enemy) was wondering the streets of London.

    Hades had granted Moriarty’s ghost a dispensational release from the Realm of the Underworld at the request of the demoness Pachamama.

    Moriarty’s ghost noticed The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery and decided to enter.

    He stared intently at a photograph of noted French actress Brigitte Bardot.

    He kept saying over and over again, “Isabelle Rocher, Isabelle Rocher.”

    “No,” Dashwood Forrest the owner of the gallery approached the ghostly spectral leader, “That’s Brigitte Bardot the famous French actress.”

    “She looks exactly like my French mistress Isabelle Rocher,” the brilliant mathematician and criminal mastermind was astounded at the resemblance, “although I never saw her wear a skirt that looked like that. If I had, I’d have probably got hornier and had sex with her a lot sooner.”

    “When did this Isabelle Rocher live?” Dashwood Forrest inquired.

    “Back in the 19th Century,” Moriarty replied.

    “No not many women wore skirts that looked like that back in the 19th Century,” Dashwood Forrest admitted, “save possibly women who worked in the inside of bordellos.”

    “I had fled to Latin America when she told me that she was pregnant,” Moriarty recalled, “And when I returned to France, I discovered that she had given birth to a son called Louis. They left Paris and went to the French countryside somewhere. I could never track them down. I saw Louis’ baptismal certificate and she had listed the father as unknown. So I imagine he took his mother’s last name for his own. Louis Rocher would have been his name.”

    “There was a famous French scientist called Dr. Louis Rocher who was shot down and killed by the Red Baron the day before the Red Baron himself was shot down and killed,” Dashwood Forrest recalled.

    “The Red Baron?” Moriarty’s ghostly face looked quizzical.

    “I’ll explain the history later,” Forrest was familiar with entertaining the dead as he once had had an Irish zombie named Mulligan as a manservant.

    “And did this Dr. Louis Rocher have any offspring?” Moriarty inquired.

    “He did,” Forrest nodded, “In fact his great- grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher is the chief scientist for Set Enterprises here in London.”

    “I wonder who Louis Rocher’s wife was?” Prof. James Moriarty mused aloud.

    “Sherrielock Holmes,” Forrest answered.

    Moriarty’s jaw dropped, “Sherlock Holmes’ lesser known twin sister?”.

    “That’s her,” Forrest nodded.

    “You mean I have descendents that have both Holmes and Moriarty blood in them?” Prof. Moriarty was shocked out of his skull.

    In fact Moriarty had carried his skull with him out of Hades and had now dropped it on the art gallery floor.

    At that moment British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the quite literally immortal Sherrielock Holmes (she had once consumed Lingzhi supernatural mushrooms on one occasion that had made her immortal) entered the gallery.

    “Prof. Moriarty!” Sherrielock exclaimed in surprise as she recognized the ghost.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Tuesday October 4th
    2022.

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