The 200th Anniversary of Napoleon’s Death
It was 200 years ago today that Napoleon Bonaparte (Napoleon I Emperor of the French) died on the island of Saint Helena.
French President Emmanuel Macron marked the bicentary of Napoleon’s death by laying a wreath at Napoleon’s tomb at Les Invalides in Paris.
Macron in an address to the French nation said, “Napoleon is a part of us.”
“That’s very true,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield commented as he watched the address on television.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” His friend Amadeus Emanon asked.
“That is the 200 million franc Napoleonic gold coin question,” Renfield answered.
The Kraken who called himself Napoleon VI and was the leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party laid a wreath at the original Napoleon’s tomb accompanied by his wife Medusa the ex-Gorgon.
In the Underworld of Hades, the Greek deity Hades had received a request to grant Napoleon Bonaparte a temporary dispensational release from the realm of Hades to mark the 200th anniversary of his death.
“Are you going to do that?” One of Cerberus’ three heads asked.
“I’m mulling it over,” Hades replied as he sipped some mulled wine.
In the Elysian Fields where Napoleon was residing (he had spent some time in Purgatory but was still not eligible to enter the Paradise of the Blessed or the Heaven of the Saints so he now lived in the Elysian Fields where the heroes of pagan antiquity resided) the Emperor was walking through some of the Elysian gardens when he came across this vision,
“Oh, My God,” Napoleon cried out.
“Oh, the void, the void,” Charles Darwin cried from far far away on his rotating barbeque spit over an open flame down in Tartarus.
The woman turned and gazed in his direction, “You look like the Emperor Napoleon.”
“That’s because I am the Emperor Napoleon,” Napoleon said.
“My name is Charlotte,” said the woman, “And I apparently died on the same day you did. May 5th 1821. Although I was 30 years younger than you.”
“You sound English,’ said Napoleon.
“That’s because I am an Englishwoman,” Charlotte answered.
“I never did have good relations with the English,” Napoleon sighed.
“Maybe you should change that,” Charlotte smiled.
Meanwhile the 3-headed dog Cerberus was walking towards the Elysian Gardens.
One of Cerberus’ heads was carrying a temporary dispensational release from Hades for Napoleon.
Another of Cerberus’ heads was carrying a temporary dispensational release from Hades for Charlotte.
And the third of Cerberus’ heads was singing the song, “In an English country garden…”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 5th
2021.
Miracle On The Vistula
The Battle of Warsaw (1920) was fought from August 12th 1920 to August 25th 1920 between the Polish National Army and Leon Trotsky’s Soviet Red Army.
Poland was on the verge of defeat in the Polish-Soviet War at the start of the battle.
But somehow the Polish Army under the command of Marshal Josef Pilsudski managed to regroup, repulse and defeat the Red Army in what Russian Bolshevik leader Vladimir Lenin called “an enormous defeat” for his forces.
The politician and diplomat Edgar Vincent regards the 1920 Battle of Warsaw as one of the most important battles in world history on his expanded list of history’s most decisive battles since the Polish victory over the Soviets halted the spread of Communism further westwards into Europe.
Had the Soviets taken Poland, nothing would have stopped their march into Germany (which had a shattered economy and a thorougly routed and demoralized army) and then France (whose army was wartorn and weary from 4 gruelling and bloody years of trench warfare in the First World War).
All of Western Europe would have probably fallen to Communism and then Lenin and Trotsky would have set their eyes across the English Channel towards Britain.
And the only one on the British isles who would have sounded the alarm about imminent danger would have been Winston Churchill while most of Britain’s stodgy old politicians doted along and would have proposed a Royal Commission task force to study the subject.
At the start of the Soviet-Polish War, the Bolshevik Lenin’s speeches asserted that the Bolshevik Revolution would be carried to Western Europe on the bayonets of Russian soldiers and that the shortest route to Berlin and Paris lay through Warsaw.
The battle turned for the Poles when Marshal Pilsudski launched a counteroffensive on Soviet forces from the south of Warsaw moving north and then trapping the Soviet forces in an encirclement.
However some have cited supernatural intervention as the reason for the victory.
Diaries from many present at the battle reported that the Virgin Mary appeared to Polish troops on the banks of the Vistula River on August 15th which is the Feast of the Assumption Into Heaven of the Blessed Virgin Mary and spoke words of encouragement.
August 15th 1920.
100 years ago today.
. . .
Pope Francis was in a video conference call with George Soros, Bill Gates, U-2 singer Bono (who sat at his desk immensely pleased with the very unusual cactus plant he had just received in the mail from Australia) and American economist Jeffrey Sachs to discuss their continuing plans for a Marxist One World Government.
Pope Francis noted, “One hundred years ago today the cause of global Marxism suffered a serious setback. And many other setbacks as well over the years. Today, we’ll finally push the cause of global Marxism forward with the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus helping us.”
“Jesus Christ!” Bono shouted.
“This is a private meeting not a public audience,” Pope Francis admonished as he wagged his finger at the Irish singer via video, “There’s no need to mention that name here.”
“No, a cow just jumped in through my study window and ran off with my cactus plant between her teeth!” Bono exclaimed in a great state of agitation.
“Daisy! Daisy!” Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun briefly appeared on video and ran after the cow as she headed down the road off the Bono estate.
. . .
“Lexington,” Donald Trump was speaking to his British butler and valet, “I was just reading in the Monthly Moon which is the monthly newspaper in the small town of Smallville, Kansas… speaking of which I wonder why Clark Kent who lives in Kansas City, Kansas (shouldn’t that be called Metropolis?) hasn’t answered any of the thousands of emails I’ve sent him hour by hour inviting him to have dinner with me?.”
“I have no idea, sir,” Lexington answered.
“The NSA tells me he’s forwarded a few of them to the Irish-Jewish science-fiction writer George Finneganburg for some reason,” Trump scratched his head and yellow artificial dandruff fell out, “Anyways getting back to the Monthly Moon article, they were quoting British MP Renfield R. Renfield… I wonder why the Monthly Moon and other smaller independent news outlets are the only ones to quote Renfield. None of the big mainstream news media does. Not even Fox News. And Fox News is ostensibly supposed to be anti-Communist unlike the other big news outlets.”
“I have no idea again, sir,” Lexington sighed.
“Anyways, Renfield said in the article, “It’s rather frightening to think that the only person standing in the way of a Communist Neo-Bolshevik takeover of America is a non-altruistic non-empathetic narcissist who fancies himself a 21st Century Caesar and a Neo-Roman Emperor.” Now Lexington,” Trump scratched his head again leading to further golden artificial dandruff falling on the Rubicon Rubik’s Cube on Trump’s desk, “who is he talking about? Do you know any individual who fits that description?”.
“Of course not, sir,” Lexington replied as he helped Trump on with his toga and his laurel leaf crown.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 15th
2020.
Renfield Gives Convocation Address
Renfield Gives Convocation Address
British MP Renfield R. Renfield had been invited to give a winter session graduation convocation Address at a small community college in London.
The topic he was given to speak on for the convocation Address was What Britain 🇬🇧 Needs To Consider For The Future.
Renfield approached the podium wearing sunglasses 😎 , a t-shirt with Bob Marley’s picture on it and a splendid Scottish kilt with a matching pair of plaid socks.
Tapping the microphone and saying “Ich ni sun chi… good… it appears to be working… what Britain needs to consider for the future…”
Renfield paused as he looked around the room.
He then began his address on What Britain Needs To Consider For The Future.
Said Renfield, “Have you ever wondered why the word terrier doesn’t rhyme with the word Perrier?…”
As his friend Amadeus Emanon remarked afterwards, “And that was the high point of the speech…”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 18th
2018.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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