Old Time Movie About A Ghost From A Wishing Well

May 9, 2018 at 10:44 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Ghost Story, Movies, Music, music videos, Songs, Video, videos) (, , , )

Old Time Movie About A Ghost From A Wishing Well

Here’s a photo montage music video I made and posted on YouTube 10 years ago:

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Pan Goatee’s Dorian Gray Friday

March 30, 2018 at 9:45 pm (Aesthetics, Entertainment, Literature, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

Pan Goatee’s Dorian Gray Friday

Pan Goatee was not having a good Friday.

It seemed everywhere he turned, there was an ugly looking woman present.

He sat next to a beautiful looking woman on a commuter train and an ugly looking woman sat across from him.

He immediately decapitated the ugly looking woman with his astral laser machete.

From the look the beautiful looking woman gave him, he decided it might not be a good thing to ask her out on a date tonight like he was planning to do.

Damn how these ugly looking women always showed up to spoil any potential romantic encounters he might have.

These hideous daughters of Hecate had absolutely no consideration for others.

He took a seat further down the commuter train.

Another ugly looking woman boarded the commuter train at another station.

Pan Goatee immediately decapitated her.

“Nothing like frightening any potential tourists this city might have,” Pan Goatee said as he kicked the head down the aisle.

He then got off at the downtown station where he went to a Subway restaurant and was in the process of ordering a submarine sandwich when an ugly looking woman went up to the counter and asked for a packet of pepper.

“You ugly looking bitch,” Pan Goatee told off the obviously failed toad-human hybrid experiment, “why didn’t you remember to ask for pepper when you were first up here. Now you’ve thoroughly ruined my day by me having to look at your ugly looking face.”

Pan Goatee once again decapitated this particular failed degenerate abortion.

He then kicked the head down the floor, “There stick that in your pepper pipe and smoke it, bitch.”

A junkie smoking cracked cocaine at a table (and ignoring the place’s No Smoking 🚭 signs) said, “Wow, man. What’s your favourite work by Oscar Wilde?”.

“The Picture of Dorian Gray,” Pan replied.

“I thought it was Edgar Allan Poe who wrote that,” the man blinked like a neon sign on steroids.

“No, it was Wilde,” Goatee answered.

“Yeah, it must have been Wilde,” the man stared into space, “Really wild. What about the guy who wrote that poem about the ancient mariner who had that albatross around his neck that kept crying “Nevermore” when Pallas Athena knocked on Kublai Khan’s chamber door this other side of Xanadu because Donald Trump a wall he did decree.”

But Goatee like Elvis had already left the building.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 30th
2018.

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Dashwood Forrest and Mulligan The Irish Zombie On O’ Connell Street In Dublin

March 18, 2018 at 10:55 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Dashwood Forrest and Mulligan The Irish Zombie On O’ Connell Street In Dublin

Dashwood Forrest and his manservant Mulligan the Irish ☘️ Zombie 🧟‍♂️ were having breakfast 🥞 🍳 in a restaurant at a hotel on O’ Connell Street in Dublin.

Mulligan was nursing a king sized hangover having drank too many glasses of Kilkenny Irish Cream Ale on the Hill of Tara in County Meath for Saint Patrick’s Day yesterday.

He did give away one of his glasses of Kilkenny to a golden cobra named Maitreya who was undergoing an old Celtic Pagan ritual to make the snake the High King of Ireland.

But he did so in a hypnotic state (which would be the only possible state in which Mulligan the Irish Zombie 🧟‍♂️ would give away an alcoholic beverage that happened to be in his possession).

“If you don’t mind my saying so, you look to be in awfully bad shape,” the waiter said to Mulligan.

“That’s because I’ve got a hangover,” Mulligan answered while drinking tomato juice laced with three raw eggs 🥚 and Worcestershire sauce.

“You also look to be dead,” the waiter remarked as some of Mulligan’s decomposing flesh fell on his breakfast plate of kipper and poached eggs.

“I am,” Mulligan started leaking tomato juice and Worcestershire sauce from his armpits, “I’m a zombie.”

“If you’re a zombie, then why aren’t you sitting in the Dail (Irish Parliament)?” The waiter asked.

“There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t ask myself that very question,” Mulligan was debating with himself on whether or not he should order a Guinness as he noticed the old antique clock on the hotel restaurant wall was only 1 minute away from 12 noon.

“Who raised you from the dead?” The waiter asked.

“It was a South African witch doctor called Dr. Sterling Makabo who raised me from the dead,” Mulligan cut himself a slice of kipper and put it on his fork, “although he had actually been hired to raise my neighbour who was buried next to me in the cemetery from the dead but his corpse was still at his wake. A wake that apparently went on for fourteen days I might add. So when my neighbour did not answer Doctor Makabo’s call, I decided to do so. With the result that I’m now living the life of Riley.”

“Riley was the name of the man in the grave next to him,” Dashwood Forrest explained, “the fellow that Dr. Makabo was supposed to raise from the dead but his body was still at his wake as his buddies had been drinking so much, they forgot to take him to both his funeral and burial services.”

“Only in Ireland 🇮🇪 would this happen,” the waiter shook his head.

“I would have to agree,” Dashwood Forrest smelled the rose in his lapel.

At that moment on the television in the restaurant, the image of British MP Renfield R. Renfield appeared to comment on Vladimir Putin’s landslide Presidential election 🗳 victory in Russia 🇷🇺.

As Renfield pointed to a photo of Putin and made Freemasonic death by disembowelling gestures with his hands that would send YouTube conspiracy theory channel hosts into a whirlwind of frenzy, Mulligan remarked to Dashwood Forrest, “There’s the fellow who saved me from drowning in a bowl of punch at your mermaid 🧜‍♀️ painting art exhibit in London last year.”

“Was that before or after you became a zombie 🧟‍♂️?” The waiter asked.

“After,” Mulligan replied, “My mortal pre-zombie life came to an end when I drowned in a vat of Guinness.”

And speaking of Guinness, the antique clock in the restaurant struck 12 noon.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 18th
2018.

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Tale of Jessica Rabbit Music Video

March 7, 2018 at 10:16 pm (Arts, Entertainment, Film, Movies, Music) ()

Tale of Jessica Rabbit Music Video

10 years ago, I made a photo montage music video about Jessica Rabbit that I posted on YouTube.

That video got over 250,000 views (as of today Wednesday March 7th, 2018, it has 251,401 views).

At the time I made that video, I still had not fully mastered the art and science of film editing at the OneTrueMedia site where I made it.

And there were a few photo angles and wide and close-up shots I was disappointed with so I re-did the video a couple of years later.

This video is the re-edited version I made in 2010.

-A blog post
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 7th
2018.

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Greer Garson, Silvio Berlusconi, Renfield R. Renfield and The Green-Eyed Monster

March 5, 2018 at 11:40 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Music, News, Politics, Songs, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Greer Garson, Silvio Berlusconi, Renfield R. Renfield and The Green-Eyed Monster

Renfield R. Renfield was watching the BBC Culture segment’s Film Critic Sir Laurence Camembert giving a commentary on television.

Said Camembert while eating a plate of cheddar cheese, “It was 75 years ago last night, that the Oscars for 1942 were presented, back in the days when movies were about real people and not comic book characters. Greer Garson’s acceptance speech for winning Best Actress for Mrs. Miniver was said to have lasted about 6 minutes but a little known aspect of the speech was she spent at least 5 minutes of it attacking Donald Trump.”

“Wow,” said Amadeus Emanon while eating a bowl of 6 dozen oysters, “do you suppose Greer Garson was in telepathic clairvoyant communication with our lobster Michelangelo?”.

“I think Sir Camembert was joking,” Renfield said wryly while drinking a rye whiskey 🥃.

“Oh,” said Amadeus and then asked, “what cheese do you think goes best with oysters? Camembert or cheddar?”.

“I suppose it all depends on one’s dairy 🥛 orientation,” Renfield commented as he read a brochure from the All-Inclusive Dairy Producers of Europe.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Amadeus announced.

“Well, please don’t let me stop you,” said Renfield who had already got caught in a very peculiar shower on the way home from Parliament this afternoon.

As Amadeus marched off to the bathroom whistling the song “Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves…”, Renfield watched a story on BBC News about how former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was flashed by a topless woman protestor at a polling booth while voting in yesterday’s Italian parliamentary elections.

“Shit,” sighed Renfield, “I was never flashed by a beautiful topless woman protestor when I voted in last year’s British parliamentary elections. Some guys have all the luck.”

“I don’t recall having taken any Viagra today,” a shocked and somewhat surprised Amadeus shouted from the bathroom.

“Some guys do nothing but complain,” Renfield added.

Renfield walked out the door into the snow and the rain singing that old Rod Stewart song, “Some guys have all the luck… Some guys get all the breaks” but quickly switched over to the lyrics of the Glen Campbell song Rhinestone Cowboy, “And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain…” when a sudden flood of snow and rain hit Renfield and started carrying him away in the direction of the Thames River.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 5th
2018.

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Renfield Performs Comedy Video Skit At 90th Academy Awards

March 4, 2018 at 11:59 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Movies, News, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Renfield Performs Comedy Video Skit At 90th Academy Awards

Since there didn’t seem to be any rising new American politicians at the moment, the Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel decided to ask Britain’s rising new politician Renfield R. Renfield MP to perform a comedy video skit at this year’s Academy Awards that would be broadcast live via satellite transmission from London to Hollywood.

The theme for the 1 minute comedy skit that Renfield had been given was to play a character in a non-musical movie singing a song from a movie musical.

Renfield for his comedy skit decided that he’d play Christian Grey from the movie Fifty Shades of Grey singing a song Julie Andrews made famous in the musical The Sound of Music.

Renfield (as Christian Grey opening the door to the Red Room) singing,

“… Girls in white dresses all tied up with string,
these are a few of my favourite things…”

(On the floor of the Red Room were a bunch of beautiful women wearing white dresses all tied up with ropes)

Jimmy Kimmel immediately signalled to the technician to cut the live satellite 🛰 transmission from London.

Seeing as how Renfield R. Renfield was not Christian Grey, his video was deemed inappropriate for the post-Weinstein political climate of 2018 Hollywood.

Outrage on social media was immediate.

Various feminists posted Twitter tweets and Facebook statuses accusing Renfield of being misogynistic and holding patriarchal attitudes.

Sir Elton John tweeted that he enjoyed wearing white dresses and had never seen the Red Room and would Mr. Renfield please show him?

Hillary Clinton immediately made a YouTube video where she dressed up as the late Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini in drag and pronounced a feminist death fatwa on Renfield while writer Salman Rushdie mournfully sang the song Kumbaya in the background.

Numerous women hit Renfield with the Twitter hashtag #MeToo saying that the British MP was obviously guilty of sexually harassing women.

Since Renfield wisely did not have a Twitter account of his own (unlike some political bigmouth ignoramuses), he immediately hacked into Donald Trump’s Twitter account and responded with hashtags of his own:

@realDonaldTrump

#VirginLookingForHisFirstLay
#MeToo

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 4th
2018.

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Grand Me My Wish… Not: A Short Story By Sherrie De Valeria

March 2, 2018 at 9:57 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Humour, Short stories, Short Story)

An absolutely hilarious blog post written by my dear friend and fellow writer Sherrie de Valeria.

I think most of my readers and followers will enjoy reading this post but in particular I think my friends George F., Ortensia72 and velvetscreams will enjoy reading it because it will start your day with a good laugh. 😀

MY.THOUGHTS.MY.LIFE.MY.WORLD.

medusa-drawing-funny-stuff

He felt his eyes are swelling with the burning sensation of confusion and sweats starts to break down his forehead and spine. He swiped his face a few times and moaning, grunting between the sheets, felt the darkness had had him right in his mind. He felt violated by his own thoughts and the mere darkness without the penetrating light, left him scars with a little fear – so, uncomfortable, really.

“Oh, behold this darkness that holds my heart and my mind thus corrupted by unseen chaos and no more light shall shed its color inside this room of my life!” He raised himself up, raised both of his hands and yelled out loud.

Then came a sudden pain that hits his head, something soft and yet, it had left quite a thud in his head. Somewhere he imagines it that he could hear a thunder roar, but without the…

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The City After Twilight: A Poem

February 25, 2018 at 11:06 pm (Detective story, Entertainment, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

The City 🌃 After Twilight: A Poem

And so the sun has set
tongue requires something wet
you head downtown to a nightspot
something cool to drink perhaps sex that’s hot

In the lounge cigarette smoke fills the air
the cushion is velvety at the back of the chair

You have martini 🍸 with a slice of lime
you ordered it for neither reason nor rhyme
you are the last of a kind- a private eye
accustomed to neon lights and starlit sky

The nighttime is your working day
clearing thugs and hooligans out of the way
They say the knights of old have come and gone
fairy tales told to child stifling a yawn
But for one such as yourself
a lance and steed might be on the shelf
but you have traded shining armour
for fedora and trench coat
an office with ceiling fan instead of castle with moat

But like those knights of old you walk alone
distress sounds not from blast of trumpets but from ring of phone
Those maidens in distress not in towers with long flowing hair
but walking the streets in heels
and tight skirts for wear

The dragons 🐉 today do not breathe fire
Instead they employ hit men for hire
And rulers turn not to ones like Merlin for advice
but lawyers, accountants and padded pockets on ice

You look at your watch and see that midnight 🕛 calls
your lunch hour is over served as the olive in your hour glass falls

You pick up your coat and head out the door
the streets and alleys call like the wild forests of yore.

-A private eye poem
written by Christopher
Sunday February 25th
2018.

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Renfield Defends Jennifer Lawrence Against Critics, Pan Goatee Even More So

February 22, 2018 at 11:32 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Renfield Defends Jennifer Lawrence Against Critics, Pan Goatee Even More So

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had run into his former opponent former Conservative MP now turned London private eye Agathor Christie outside a sex toy and lingerie shop in London’s Soho district.

They were discussing the criticism that actress Jennifer Lawrence had recently received in social media for the dress she wore to an outdoor photo shoot with her male co-stars for an event to publicize the opening of her new film Red Sparrow at theatres in the City of London.

Various women had criticized her for wearing a dress with a slit up the side while her male co-stars wore long trousers and overcoats.

Jennifer Lawrence answered back against her critics, “This is not only utterly ridiculous, I am extremely offended. That Versace dress was fabulous, you think I’m going to cover that gorgeous dress up with a coat 🧥 and a scarf 🧣? I was outside for five minutes. I would have stood in the snow for that dress because I love fashion and that was my choice. This is sexist, this is ridiculous, this is not feminism.”

“How much do you want to bet,” Renfield asked Agathor Christie, “that all those female critics of Jennifer Lawrence and her dress are all quite repulsively ugly?”.

“I don’t want to bet you,” Agathor Christie answered, “because you’re most likely 100% right and I don’t want to lose any money to you the same way I lost the election for MP to you.”

Meanwhile Pan Goatee the genetically created satyr serial killer who could astral project had hacked into Twitter and tracked down all the IP and real life addresses of Miss Jennifer Lawrence’s female critics.

He astral projected into their homes and when he saw how ugly they indeed were, he immediately decapitated them with his astral Star Wars laser machete.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 22nd
2018.

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For Valentine’s Day: Anything For Love Video

February 14, 2018 at 9:10 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Music, Songs, Video) (, , , , , )

For Valentine’s Day: Anything For Love Video

For this Valentine’s Day I am posting the link to a photo montage music video I made 10 years ago set to the tune of the Gordon Lightfoot song Anything For Love.

Canadian singer Gordon Lightfoot who wrote the lyrics and chords for Anything For Love had an uncle who lived on a farm near Crossfield, Alberta, Canada.

My paternal grandparents also had a farm near Crossfield and one summer back in the early 1940s, Gordon’s uncle asked my dad and my uncle if they wouldn’t mind babysitting little Gordon for the day.

So my dad and my uncle did that.

So I guess one of my sole claims to fame is that one summer day back in the early 1940s my dad and uncle babysat a little boy who grew up to be a major international singer/songwriter and the man who has the unofficial title of Canada’s national poet-laureate.

Here then is the photo montage video I created where the photos I arranged and edited were set in sync to the lyrics of the Gordon Lightfoot song Anything For Love.

Happy Valentines Day. ❤️

-Christopher

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