Shaw Cable TV Canada Now Caters Its Content Exclusively To Morons

May 18, 2023 at 9:30 pm (Commentary, Culture, Entertainment, News, Personal essays, Television, TV Shows) (, , , )

Now thanks to Shaw Cable TV Canada catering exclusively to the intelligence challenged crowd, viewing Jane Austen heroines on a cable channel on your TV set 📺 will be an increasingly difficult task.

Shaw Cable TV Canada is now openly discriminating against intelligent people.

I discovered this tonight when on my TV (which is hooked up to the landlord’s cable TV subscription service but after talking to him tonight, he didn’t make any changes to his subscription service, Shaw Cable unilaterally did) when I scrolled down on the guide to see what was on my two favourite channels – PBS Detroit and PBS Spokane – the only two channels I ever watch on a regular basis- I discovered to my horror they were gone.

And instead in its place was a long list of TV channels -which deducing from the subject lines- would only be actually watched and enjoyed by people who are total morons and imbeciles.

Although this may undoubtedly count for most of the population today.

Now admittedly programs like PBS Newshour and other news programs on PBS are inevitably Neo-Bolshevik Communist in their political slant and orientation.

But then again so is every other mainstream media news outlet in North America.

Which is why I refer to them all by the thoroughly accurate and all encompassing epithet – the brainless mainstream media.

But the major TV networks generally have nothing but mind numbing garbage 🗑️ for their regular programming and TV shows.

Whereas there is programming on PBS (usually invariably British) geared towards those who have a high intellect.

British programming operates on the basis that there are actually people out there who have an IQ above 100 and thus adjust their TV programming accordingly.

North American programming operates on the basis that there are loads of people out there who have an IQ below 100 (a thoroughly accurate and correct assumption) and adjust their programming accordingly.

At one time cable TV catered to both ends of the spectrum- those who enjoyed the crappy 💩 fast food equivalent of entertainment and those who enjoyed the equivalent of healthy and even gourmet food entertainment.

Now discrimination against the intelligent is increasingly the norm in a world of huge corporate mergers.

I suspect the bozos at Shaw Cable wouldn’t have made this decision had they not been taken over by the bozos at Rogers Cable.

I was against this merger from the start when talk of it first surfaced a couple of years ago.

Never has creating a monopoly been of any benefit to the consumer.

But naturally the merger was approved by the government of Canada’s bedwetting Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau.

Which right there should have constituted proof positive that this was indeed a bad deal.

-A commentary and personal essay
Written by Christopher
Thursday May 18th

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Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec On Cinco de Mayo 2023

May 5, 2023 at 9:15 pm (Detective story, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec on Cinco de Mayo 2023.

It was Cinco de Mayo 2023.

And the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was celebrating.

She was in the U.S. state of California since Cinco de Mayo wasn’t really a big holiday or celebration in Mexico 🇲🇽 itself other than the Mexican city of Puebla.

May 5th 1862 was the date of the Mexican Army’s victory over the French forces of Emperor Napoleon III at the First Battle of Puebla in the Mexican city of Puebla.

Behind the battle were two vampiresses.

One was the Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec who supported the Mexican Army and the other was the Paris based Egyptian vampiress Isis who supported the forces of Napoleon III.

They later met again in a hawthorn wooden stake after sunset showdown in the American Wild West town of Hayden Colorado (site of immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes’ Wild Tomatoes 🍅 and Mushroom 🍄 Saloon) in the 1880s.

That contest resulted in a draw as well as the American Wild West’s first open heart surgery operation (to remove wooden splinters).

Today on Cinco de Mayo 2023 Qonzilqointec got her photo taken that was immediately made into a post card.

As Qonzilqointec leaned against the wall to get her photo taken, she immediately spotted an old friend of hers the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

“What are you doing in Los Angeles?” Qonzilqointec asked Van Helsing.

“I’m here to see if I can talk the great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg into finishing his science-fiction novel,” Van Helsing replied.

“And did you find Mr. Finneganburg?” The Aztec vampire princess inquired.

“No, his wife isn’t too sure what bar he would be in today,” Dracul answered, “although he apparently no longer frequents donut 🍩 shops unless he has the world-famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee with him.”

At that moment George Finneganburg was in fact asleep 😴 💤 on the floor of one of the Los Angeles Public Libraries where children were stepping over him to attend Drag Queen Story Reading 📖 Hour.

“Egad, where’s Pan Goatee when you really need?” George exclaimed upon awakening and seeing a bunch of bearded drag queens within his sight.

Qonzilqointec and Van Helsing meanwhile passed another writer – a creative writing instructor who held the title for the world’s most colossally boring author.

He was reading his latest work to a Washington state Sasquatch at an outdoor cafe where the Sasquatch was fast asleep.

Other cafe patrons were busy committing hari kari as the colossally boring author with a PH Unbalanced shampoo hairstyle read.

Qonzilqointec and Van Helsing then retreated to his hotel room where they proceeded to make out.

Some time later the ghost of Orson Welles could be seen entering the hotel lobby.

He was wearing a pair of dark ghostly sunglasses 🕶️, a spectrally psychedelic t-shirt and a pair of ghostly ghastly Bermuda shorts 🩳.

“I bet Dracul will be surprised to see me,” Welles’ ghost commented as he entered the hotel elevator and hit the 5th floor button.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Friday May 5th

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Gordon Lightfoot R.I.P.

May 2, 2023 at 9:58 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, History, Music, music videos, News, Obituaries, Personal essays) ()

One of my favourite singers 🎤 🎶 🎵 of all time Gordon Lightfoot has died at the age of 84.

Robert Mitchum: I’d do anything for love.

Jane Greer: But you won’t do that.

Robert Mitchum: Actually I was thinking more of the Gordon Lightfoot song than Meat Loaf’s.

Jane Greer: Speaking of meatloaf, there seems to be a huge fire 🔥 and lots of smoke coming from the oven.

Robert Mitchum: It appears the meatloaf will be very well done.

Jane Greer: As was Gordon Lightfoot’s song.

Gordon Lightfoot (1938-2023) has died at the age of 84.

He was one of my favourite singers of all time.

And many of his songs would be in my top 100 list of all my favourite songs.

There’s somewhat of a personal connection between Gordon Lightfoot and me although I never met or saw the man in person.

For you see Gordon Lightfoot’s uncle had a farm about 40 miles north of Calgary, Alberta Canada.

And my paternal grandparents’ farm was about 6 miles away from the farm belonging to Gordon Lightfoot’s uncle.

Gordon as a small boy would occasionally come from Ontario and visit his uncle’s farm in Alberta.

On days when his uncle was busy working in the fields, Gordon’s uncle would hire my dad and my paternal uncle to babysit little Gordon.

I remember as a kid when I started dancing to Gordon Lightfoot songs as they came on the radio, my mother would tell me of how my dad and my Uncle Tom used to babysit Gordon as a boy when he came to his uncle’s farm.

“Do you suppose Gordon would remember my dad?” I asked her.

“Chris,” she’d say to me, “Anybody who’s ever met your father even once would never forget him.”

Which I suppose was true.

My mother would tell me stories of how when they were dating, my dad and her had attended a mutual friend’s wedding and my dad made himself memorable at the reception by pouring gravy over his slice of wedding cake.

Or how when they were first married, my mother had bought my dad a footstool for his chair and how when he came home from work and he tripped over it and said “Ooh!” (Like he usually did when he fell or tripped) but never said anything.

And then 20 minutes later he said, “Helena, there seems to be a footstool in front of my chair.”

Or how at the opening of an art show, my mother pointed out the artist (who was a mutual friend) to my dad and said, “There she is!” and my dad answered, “Oh, I didn’t recognize her with all her clothes on.”

What my dad meant was since there was a fierce Alberta snowstorm going on at the time and the artist Jean Richards came into the gallery heavily bundled up with winter parka, scarf 🧣, toque and high winter boots, my dad didn’t recognize her in all those winter clothes.

But that’s not what he said.

So my mother, being the practical joker she was, walked up and told Jean Richards that my dad didn’t recognize her with all her clothes on.

“What?” Jean Richards feigned anger, “He actually said that? Where’s George?” .

So artist Jean Richards walked up to my dad and said in a loud voice that the whole gallery could hear, “I hear you didn’t recognize me with all my clothes on.”

And of course my dad taught in the Alberta Public School System for over 30 years.

His specialty was teaching Science, Math and History although he did teach all subjects at one time or another since he taught all grades from 1 to 12.

And many of his former students who I’ve met over the years say that my dad was their favourite teacher of all their school years.

One student told me that he loved my dad’s Science classes.

“Your dad would say in Chemistry class, now if you stick your finger in this solution here, it will turn green before it falls off and if you stick your finger in this solution over here, it will turn purple before it falls off,” the student recalled.

One of his former teaching colleagues recalled the first time she walked into my dad’s Science room where apparently his replica model volcano 🌋 had successfully exploded and all the students in the class were coughing and choking from the smoke but that my dad was continuing to calmly lecture about the effects of volcanic explosions on the Earth’s climate change in times past.

My dad would also occasionally use Bunsen burners in Science class to make himself coffee.

I remember a friend of mine Daniel (who once worked as a scientist for DARPA) was extremely amused by this story.

My dad as a boy also made himself an actual airplane – a monoplane or biplane of the World War I variety and was going to fly to Germany to bump off Hitler as my dad and Winston Churchill were probably the only two people in the British Empire of the time who realized that Hitler was a threat to the world.

Of course while my dad may have been an engineering genius for such a young age he hadn’t considered other factors which naturally any 8-year-old wouldn’t.

My Uncle Tom was wisely placed by my dad as the pilot in the front seat of the plane.

And my dad sat at the way back seat of the plane as a navigator.

This proved to be quite handy as when the plane launched from the top of the hill overlooking the valley of my grandparents’ farm, it became rapidly apparent to my dad with his panoramic view at the back of the plane that the closest this plane was going to get to the Third Reich was the middle of the creek that flowed through my grandparents’ farm.

My dad wisely jumped off the back seat as my Uncle Tom could be heard screaming as the plane headed straight towards the creek.

There was a loud splash.

My dad ran to see if his brother was all right.

When my Uncle Tom emerged from the creek with an exceedingly angry look on his face, as my dad told the story afterwards, he (my dad) broke the 4 Minute Mile record years before Roger Bannister did in an effort to get back to the house and my grandmother’s kitchen before my uncle could beat the 💩 out of him.

Thus bearing that in mind, as I got older, it was indeed highly likely that Gordon Lightfoot would have remembered my dad from those summer babysitting days.

Of course I never got the chance to ask Gordon in person.


From the years 2007 to 2011, I used to make myself photo montage music videos at a now defunct on-line filmmaking site called OneTrueMedia.

I would then post the finished videos at YouTube.

I used that site to teach myself filmmaking and film editing skills.

Two of my favourite videos I made during that time were photo montage music videos of my two favourite Gordon Lightfoot songs: Anything For Love. If You Could Read My Mind.

Both I made in the year 2008.

Then in 2010 or 2011, I got a notification from YouTube that those two videos were taken down for song copyright violations.

I was shocked.

If I was trying to make a profit from those videos, yes.

But I was just using those songs as background for my own personal enjoyment.

I was at the Xanga blogging site at the time.

So I wrote a blog post mentioning about my two videos (with Gordon Lightfoot songs) being taken down by YouTube.

I also mentioned in that blog post that my dad had once babysat Gordon Lightfoot when Gordon visited his uncle’s farm.

That blog post got a lot of views and a lot of likes I remember.

About 3 or 4 days later after that blog post, I got a notification from YouTube that those two videos had been restored and put back on line.

I remember thinking, Great.

The very next day after I got that notification, I was doing some research and my research led me to check that day’s online edition of The Toronto Sun or Toronto Star.

I forget which.

Anyhow while I was at that Toronto newspaper site online, I stumbled across a story about Gordon Lightfoot.

Gordon Lightfoot had apparently released a statement the day before that he didn’t mind his songs and his music being used for strictly non-profit entertainment purposes.

Only if someone were trying to profit from them would he be a stickler about royalties.

And I thought…


… or?

If he did remember my dad, what did my dad do that was so memorable in his mind?

As Gordon himself might put it, “What a tale my thoughts could tell…”

-A personal reflection
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 2nd

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April 27, 2023 at 10:15 pm (Art, Arts, Commentary, Culture, Entertainment, Film, History, Literature, love, Movies, Personal essays, Romance, Television) (, , , , , , )

Sanditon is my favourite TV series of the past 3 years.

And if I had to give it some extra thought, I would probably come to the conclusion that it’s my favourite TV series of all time.

I’ve always had a thing for British Regency romance novels.

And for Jane Austen in particular.

Jane Austen being one of my top 5 favourite authors (the other 4 being William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Fyodor Dostoevsky and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle).

I first stumbled upon Sanditon a couple of years ago when someone posted the 6 episodes of Season 1 in English with German subtitles on YouTube (they’ve long since been removed).

From the pictures, they looked to be Regency dress and costumes.

So I clicked on Season 1 Episode 1 and started watching.

With the credits in German and no subtitles for the credits, I didn’t pay much attention.

But as I watched the show, the dialogue struck me and I thought this dialogue could easily have been written by Jane Austen.

For even though I was a big Jane Austen fan, I had never heard of her unfinished novel Sanditon.

And my father (who was a Public School History and Science teacher for over 30 years) and was a big Jane Austen fan had never mentioned Sanditon in his many discussions on her.

It was also from my dad that I inherited my love of Dickens and Shakespeare.

I developed my love for Dostoevsky after having received a book of Dostoevsky short stories from my Grade 12 Creative Writing teacher for getting the top marks in her Creative Writing class.

She had written an inscription in the book that my short stories that I had written reminded her of Dostoevsky’s short stories so that’s why she was buying me this book.

I had heard of many of Dostoevsky’s novels but I had never read any of his short stories at the time I was presented with that book.

I had read Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov in its entirety when I was just 14 years old (after having seen on late night television a movie version of it from the 1950s that starred Yul Brynner as Dmitri Karamazov).

And I inherited my love for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle when I read a children’s book edition of The Hound of the Baskervilles when I was just 8 years old and have been a big Sherlock Holmes fan ever since.

It was sometime after watching that YouTube series with English dialogue and German subtitles that I read that the series Sanditon was based on an unfinished novel by Jane Austen.

Well that explains how the dialogue in the series reminded me so much of Jane Austen I thought.

Last year I found myself in the middle of a move.

When the trailer I was renting a room in was sold by the landlord.

After about a month (during which time I stayed with a friend), I finally found a new place.

The landlady was a sympathetic woman who took sympathy in my plight as a struggling author and bought me a television set and hooked me up to the house’s cable.

Sadly she separated from the landlord last summer.

The landlord is a bit of a dipstick or a lot of a dipstick as he stepped on my android tablet last October thoroughly ruining the keyboard on it and never offered to replace it.

A friend of mine bought me a new iPad 15 Pro this past February so now I can once again do a lot more writing.

I got my new TV from my then landlady in mid-March of 2022.

One night after discovering I got both PBS Detroit and PBS Spokane on it, I tuned in one Sunday night and discovered Season 2 of Sanditon.

It was about halfway through the season when I started watching.

Half way through the episode I made the brilliant Sherlockian deduction that Sidney Parker must have died.

Which turned out to be correct.

However I found the figure of Alexander Colbourne a lot more intriguing than Sidney Parker.

Alexander Colbourne reminded me of a far better looking version of Orson Welles’ portrayal of Edward Rochester in the 1943 film Jane Eyre (based on the Charlotte Brontë novel).

Ben Lloyd-Hughes’ portrayal of Alexander Colbourne has all the existential angst of Welles’ portrayal of Edward Rochester in Jane Eyre but is far better looking than Welles (as is to be expected from a Jane Austen hero).

This is not to take anything away from Orson Welles who is one of my film idols.

He had an outstanding intellect and was a great director and screenplay writer.

I also have the ghost of Orson Welles appearing as a character in my vampire novel (having been dispensationally released from Purgatory by Hades the Greek god of the Underworld).

Of course not having the sexual orientation of Truman Capote or Gore Vidal, I didn’t start becoming a big fan of Sanditon because of Ben Lloyd-Hughes’ portrayal of Alexander Colbourne.

It was Rose Williams’ portrayal of Charlotte Heywood and Crystal Clarke’s portrayal of Georgiana Lambe that drew me in.

I’m not going to reveal any spoilers in my review here.

I will mention some of the very humorous dialogue:

Charlotte Heywood: Your niece Augusta thinks that you regard her as an intolerable burden to you.

Alexander Colbourne: Those were her exact words?

Charlotte Heywood: Well they were in French but yes.

And in the scene where the clergyman is giving a wedding rehearsal for Lady Denham and Rowleigh Price (an elderly couple getting married), the vicar says, “And in my sermon when I talk on conjugal relations, I shall point out that the world conjugal comes from the Latin word meaning ‘to yoke’…” to which Lady Denham responds, “You most certainly will not.”

The TV series Sanditon had excellent cinematography.

I would watch each episode 3 or 4 times on a Sunday night.

The two times it was shown on PBS Detroit and then the two times it was shown on PBS Spokane.

One of the stations had it on a third time early Monday morning but which I watched with the volume on Mute so as not to disturb my roommates in the house.

It was with the sound off (but knowing what the dialogue was having watched it twice before) that I truly appreciated the cinematography.

Episode 5 of Season 3 was a cinematic masterpiece.

Each scene one of the characters was in light and the other character was in semi-darkness within the same scene.

Save towards the final scenes when both characters were in the light.

A true cinematic masterpiece.

And the entire production of Sanditon was a masterpiece.

I’m usually leery of someone trying to finish a great author’s unfinished work because it invariably isn’t up to par with the author’s excellence of style.

But the makers and the cast of Sanditon succeeded.

They created a masterpiece.

Jane Austen was a great woman and a great author.

She deserves nothing less.

-A personal commentary
and review
Written by Christopher
Thursday April 27th

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Haiku About Harry Belafonte RIP

April 25, 2023 at 7:30 pm (Arts, Celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Film, haiku, History, Music, News, Obituaries, Poetry) ()

King of Calypso
Island 🏝️ in the sun ☀️ then leaves
World and Kingston town

Time to remember
The kind of September
Farewell to December

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The Phantom Within

March 27, 2023 at 9:37 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, History, International Intrigue, Literature, love, Music, Musicals, Romance, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Christine Daae (center) with the Phantom (left) and Viscount Raoul (right)

In the files of MI6, his code name was Diablos Nocturna.

He sat in a pub in London eating steak and kidney pie 🥧.

A very very very beautiful woman entered the pub for a take out order.

She paid the bill and left with her order.

Diablos Nocturna recognized the woman as Lucy St. Louis the woman who played Christine Daae in the 35th Anniversary West End London production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of The Opera.

Lucy St. Louis as Christine Daae in the 35th Anniversary West End London production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of The Opera

Diablos Nocturna took a quiet sip of his glass of ale 🍺.

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of The Opera was his favourite musical and Lucy St. Louis was his favourite Christine Daae.

There had been great singers/actresses who had played Christine Daae in Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of The Opera over the years- Sarah Brightman, Emmy Rossum, Sierra Boggess.

Yet when he saw Lucy St. Louis as Christine Daae, he had said, “That is Christine.”

He had never understood why.

Then one day he had watched a YouTube video of Lucy St. Louis as Christine Daae singing with the Phantom the title song Phantom of The Opera and in the comments below the video, someone had posted the comment, “Lucy St. Louis sings the role of Christine Daae the way I had always imagined in my mind the way Christine Daae would have sung in Gaston Leroux’s original novel The Phantom of The Opera.”

And that was it.

Not many people had read Gaston Leroux’s The Phantom of The Opera but he had.

In fact he had read it when he was 10 years old.

With the impressionability of someone that age.

And it wasn’t the character of The Phantom who had captivated him.

It was the character of Christine Daae.

The character who could have tamed the Phantom if the Phantom had got over his insecurities and allowed her.

For Diablos Nocturna’s entire inner life seemed to have been a battle between the Phantom within and the Viscount Raoul within.

Which one would win?

He did not know the answer.

For he had yet to meet his Christine Daae in life.

Diablos Nocturna finished his meal, paid his bill and walked out alone into the night.

The labyrinth of night.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 27th

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Renfield On St. Patrick’s Day 2023

March 17, 2023 at 7:43 pm (Biographical, Entertainment, History, News, Sports, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was celebrating 🥳 St. Patrick’s Day ☘️ on this Friday March 17th 2023.

He was recounting a historical incident on his podcast.

Said Renfield, “It was 100 years ago today on March 17th 1923 that Battling Siki a boxer from Senegal 🇸🇳 defended his World Light Heavyweight Championship against an ☘️ Irish boxer Mike McTigue in Dublin Ireland 🇮🇪 on St. Patrick’s Day ☘️.

The fight is cited by social scientist Julian Simon in his book Basic Methods In Social Sciences as an example of challenging the laws of probability.

The fight went the distance and went down to a decision decided by a panel of Irish ☘️ judges in Dublin Ireland 🇮🇪 on Saint Patrick’s Day.

Put on your Sherlock Holmes hat 🧢 and see if you can correctly deduce who won the decision.

-Renfield R. Renfield, St. Patrick’s Day ☘️,
Friday March 17th 2023.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 17th

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The Cat People and The Wolfman

October 12, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Simone Simon as Irena Dubrovna the black panther shapeshifting cat woman New York City based Serbian born and raised fashion illustrator who tore a psychiatrist to pieces with her claws

Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish Church in West London was meeting with one of his parishioners the world-famous concert pianist Amadeus Emanon in his vicarage kitchen who was enjoying the homemade cinnamon buns made by Father Aidan’s housekeeper Mrs. Lancaster.

Amadeus Emanon was already on his 36th cinnamon bun.

“Do you suppose Mrs. Lancaster might make some more?” Amadeus asked as he looked at the now empty plate.

“Well I do believe it takes awhile to make those cinnamon buns,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds explained, “plus I think she’s currently busy listening to your friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Wednesday night podcast.”

From upstairs in Mrs. Lancaster’s bedroom could be heard the voice of Renfield R. Renfield saying, “Wow. What a shocker. The cocaine snorting editors of Britain’s The Economist Magazine are calling for cocaine use to be legalized.”

“You know,” Amadeus helped himself to a gingerbread cookie man that Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds brought him from the refrigerator, “Renfield was telling me that Russian President Vladimir Putin hired a Siberian shaman to go to New York City and raise from the dead the body of the Serbian cat woman Irena Dubrovna. As Miss Dubrovna’s spirit has graduated from Purgatory to Paradise, she won’t be returning to her body. However a famous homicidally inclined Byzantine mermaid Echidna Antiochus who was put to death on the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I’s orders has had her spirit granted a dispensational release from the Underworld by Hades and has taken possession of Irena Dubrovna’s body.
She is going to Kiev Ukraine as an ally of Putin and will be using Irena Dubrovna’s body to turn into a black panther to rip apart bodies of Ukrainians because the demon Moloch appearing as Saint Michael the Archangel has told Vladimir Putin that it’s the right thing to do.”

“How horrifying,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds made the Sign of the Cross.

Father Aidan’s making the Sign of the Cross caused a Calvinist street preacher standing on the sidewalk outside the vicarage to drop dead.

“The thing is,” Amadeus scratched his head, “I always thought the 1942 film The Cat People starring Simone Simon was a work of fiction. I didn’t think it was based on a real incident and I didn’t think Irena Dubrovna was a real actual person.”

“Well, it turns out,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds checked out a passage in the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work (written before he died) Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film, “that there really was an Irena Dubrovna in the late 1930s and that what happened in the film was true.”

“Wow,” Amadeus Emanon walked over to the refrigerator and brought out the entire plate of gingerbread men cookies that he then started eating, “Next thing you know you’ll be telling me that there really was a werewolf called Larry Talbot and that the classic 1941 Universal Pictures monster horror film called The Wolfman that starred Lon Chaney Jr., Claude Rains and Evelyn Ankers was based on something that actually happened in real life.”

“Well, actually,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds cleared his throat, “I can tell you that Larry Talbot did actually exist and what happened in the 1941 film The Wolfman was true and I don’t need to consult the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film to determine that. For it turns out my grandfather the Anglican clergyman Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds was the curate of Saint Magloire’s Church in Llanwelly Wales near Talbot Castle at the time Larry Talbot arrived in the village to flirt with Gwen Conliffe the daughter of the village antique shop owner and to get bitten by Bela the gypsy fortune telling werewolf.”

“Really?” Amadeus paused in the middle of eating his 6th gingerbread man cookie.

“Yes,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds nodded, “As an interesting postscript to the film which ended with Larry Talbot getting killed by his own wolf’s head silver cane walking stick wielded by Larry’s father Sir John Talbot, the Talbot Castle game keeper Frank Andrews (played by actor Patric Knowles in the film), who was Gwen Conliffe’s fiance, ended up getting killed by a wererabbit bunny rabbit that had apparently been originally bitten by Larry Talbot. After the Saint Magloire’s Church exorcism team made Welsh rarebit out of the Welsh wererabbit, after an appropriate period of mourning for the late departed Mr. Andrews, Gwen Conliffe ended up marrying the young curate Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds. So Gwen Conliffe is actually my grandmother.”

“Holy fuck,” Amadeus Emanon commented.

Mrs. Lancaster came down the stairs and washed Amadeus Emanon’s mouth out with soap.

. . .

Outside 10 Downing Street, Larry the 10 Downing Street cat was chasing away the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow and his spectral black horse.

Inside 10 Downing Street, former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was trying to convince current British Prime Minister Liz Truss to hire a witch doctor or shaman to raise the famous Wolfman werewolf Larry Talbot from the dead in the Llanwelly Village Cemetery in Wales and send him to eastern Ukraine to eat and devour Russian soldiers.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 12th

Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers) among the gypsies

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Renfield’s Podcast For Saturday July 23rd 2022

July 23, 2022 at 9:57 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Ava Gardner appeared in British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s dreams

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was dreaming about Ava Gardner when his alarm clock went off.

“Darn,” Renfield turned off the alarm.

He looked at his watch.

Almost time for his live Saturday night podcast.

“Usually my late Saturday afternoon and early evening power naps aren’t so exciting,” Renfield sighed.

Renfield walked over to his desk.

“Good evening,” Renfield sat in front of his PC, “The despicable Mario Draghi has resigned as Prime Minister of Italy and new Parliamentary elections have been called. Hopefully Italians will now elect a government that’s opposed to the globalist policies of the World Economic Forum.”

Renfield went on to his next item, “The U.S. Navy has announced that it will start serving plant-based “meat” to its overseas service personnel as part of its efforts to fight climate change.”

Renfield then showed a video of Russian President Vladimir Putin laughing his head off.

“Between transgenderism and serving phony meat meant for wusses, the U.S. Armed Forces won’t have any real men left,” Renfield pointed out.

He then shows a video of Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping rubbing his hands in glee.

“Over in Canada, Canadian farmers are showing their solidarity with Dutch farmers whose farms and livelihoods are being threatened by the pro-WEF Fascist/Corporatist government of Holland,” Renfield explained, “This is a video showing Canadian farmers driving their vehicles down an Ontario highway flying both the Dutch and Canadian flags on their vehicles and heading towards Ottawa where they will protest in front of the Dutch Embassy.”

Renfield then showed a photo of the Chief of Police of the Ottawa Police Service.

The man was seen sporting an Adolf Hitler haircut and an Adolf Hitler moustache.

“Meanwhile,” Renfield continued, “the Gestapo loving scumbags in the Ottawa Police Service say that motor vehicle protests aren’t allowed in Ottawa and violators will be arrested. Of course where in Canadian law or the Canadian Constitution does it say that motor vehicle protests aren’t allowed? Nowhere. Like Canada’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau and his Nazi/Communist hybrid hag henchwoman Chrystia Freeland, the Gestapo loving scumbags in the Ottawa Police Service are arbitrarily pulling made up laws out of their AIDS and monkeypox infested assholes. And of course no Leftist in North America is calling for the defunding of this group of clowns- a police service that actually deserves to be defunded. Whose members should all be fired and new recruits called in. Ones whose minds haven’t been destroyed by that mental veneral disease known as totalitarianism that seems to have infected the minds of the current members of the Ottawa Police Service.”

Renfield then concluded his podcast with a video showing Bill Gates eating filet mignon in an expensive restaurant while yacking into his smart phone about how the world’s lower classes need to start eating bugs and loving it.

Over at the Vatican, Pope Francis was in bed and dreaming about his upcoming visit to Edmonton.

Renfield went to bed and was once again dreaming of Ava Gardner.

She was reprising her 1951 film role of Pandora while James Mason as the Captain of The Flying Dutchman was telling her that he had once sailed his ship down the North Saskatchewan River in Alberta, Canada and had encountered a Demon Buffalo while doing so.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 23rd

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Mistress of The Dark

June 30, 2022 at 10:59 pm (Entertainment, Film, Horror, Mystery/horror, Mythology, Short Story, Television, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Greek goddess Aphrodite filling in for vintage horror movie TV show hostess Vampira on a summer evening in Los Angeles in 1954

Vampira hosted a vintage horror movie TV show on the Los Angeles ABC TV affiliate KABC-TV from 1954 to 1955.

It was a summer evening in 1954 and Vampira had come down with laryngitis.

How was she to host her show tonight?

It was fortunate for Vampira that her drinking companion that night was the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

Aphrodite volunteered to fill in for her.

The scene now switches to a Los Angeles home where 8-year-old Henry a rather precocious boy used to go downstairs to the living room while his parents were asleep and turn on the family black and white TV on low volume and watch The Vampira Show on late night TV.

Tonight he was doing the same again.

The show’s announcer announced, “Regrettably Vampira is unable to host the show tonight…”

“Awwww…” said Henry.

“However Aphrodite is going to fill in for her and here’s Aphrodite…”

“Yay,” said Henry when he saw her.

Henry didn’t think much of the movie being shown but he did like the scenes where Aphrodite gave commentary.

Having divine sight, the goddess saw the psychopathic clown that had entered Henry’s family home and was holding a knife over Henry as the boy sat on the floor in front of the television.

She grabbed the vampire stake from inside the movie being shown and putting her hand through the TV screen in the living room staked the psychopathc clown to death.

“Wow, cool,” Henry enthused.

His mother was not so enthusiastic when she saw the mess on the living toom floor the next morning.

Henry was unable to sit down comfortably for the next week.

-A short story
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 30th

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