Apophis and Stalin
The Egyptian god Apophis
Apophis was the Egyptian god of chaos, disorder, earthquakes, thunder, darkness, storms and death.
Apophis was known as the Great Serpent and was the enemy of the sun god Ra in ancient Egyptian religion.
The sun was Ra’s great barge which sailed from dawn to dusk and then descended into the Underworld.
As it sailed through the darkness, it was attacked by Apophis who sought to kill Ra and prevent sunrise.
The Egyptian god Set was originally a protector god and was the strongest of the Egyptian gods aboard the sun god Ra’s barge defending the ship against Apophis.
Set only became a villain in history after he dismembered his brother Osiris and cut him up into 14 pieces.
“Everyone thinks that I’m a villain because I dismembered my brother Osiris,” the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set complained to his butler and valet Athelstan, “but have I ever told you how as a child, Osiris constantly destroyed my toy barges along the Nile River and then used to hide papa Geb’s cannabis pipe and blame it on me.”
“Many a time, sir,” Athelstan sighed.
Apophis was aboard the ship Aurora when it fired one salvo from the bow gun on November 7th 1917 (October 25th 1917 on the old Julian calendar of the day then in use in Russia) at 21:40 which signaled the Bolshevik attack on the Winter Palace in Petrograd (Saint Petersburg).
If it had not been for the help of Apophis, the Bolsheviks would not have been able to seize power in Russia.
The last remnants of the Russian White Army as well as rival political factions to the Bolshevik Communists were finally defeated on June 16th 1923 (the Los Angeles Dodgers would be celebrating the 100th Anniversary of the Anti-Bolshevik forces’ defeat on June 16th 2023 with an Alphabet Soup Community Pride Night in which an order of transvestite drag queen nuns would be performing).
The suggestion to Dodgers’ management came from the homosexual god Horus (who had once falsely accused his uncle Set back in the days of ancient Egypt of being homosexual himself and once claiming his uncle Set tried to seduce him).
Apophis disappeared after the Bolsheviks’ final victory in Russia on June 16th 1923.
He reappeared in Russia again on November 2nd 1942.
Appearing to Soviet dictator Josef Stalin in Moscow.
Stalin was convinced the USSR was bound to lose to Hitler.
Apophis offered to help Stalin and save the USSR if Stalin sold his soul to him (Apophis).
Stalin being a dialectical materialist of course didn’t believe in a soul and so had no trouble selling his soul to Apophis.
After all he had soul his soul to some strange being calling itself Moloch back in 1899 when he was studying at the Tbilisi Theological Seminary in Georgia 🇬🇪.
After swallowing the signed soul document 📃 after rubber stamping it with his fangs, Apophis then became an advisor to Soviet General Georgii Zhukov and on November 19th 1942, Soviet forces attacked the German Sixth Army of General Friedrich von Paulus at Stalingrad.
That would turn the tide in the Soviets’ favour in its Great Patriotic War against Nazi Germany.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written Wednesday June 7th
2023.
Desiree Davenport
Desiree Davenport with a Ph.D in Physics from Peterhouse College Cambridge worked as a scientist in the Physics Laboratory at Set Enterprises as well as a secret agent for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit
Desiree Davenport was currently sitting atop the bar in a first class cocktail lounge in Geneva Switzerland.
She was sitting in front of the table where sat a high-ranking CCP member and physicist Dr. Ying Niujiao.
Dr. Niujiao had spent years stealing secrets from the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva Switzerland working as an agent for Communist China’s MSS (Ministry of State Security).
His cover was as a merchant selling Chinese Herbal Teas 🍵 in an exclusive shopping district of Geneva.
Dr. Ying Niujiao’s cover was not discovered by any American or Western Intelligence Agency as these days those agencies were more concerned with identifying and targeting opponents of the New World Order (the order that was envisioned by George Soros, Bill Gates, Klaus Schwab and Pope Francis).
For example the American CIA was very concerned with stopping the Presidential campaign of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. not only for preventing the final revealings of the roles the CIA played in the murders of both Bobby’s father and uncle but also because Bobby Kennedy Jr. was a threat to the continued existence of the American Deep State (which was basically a Hegelian synthesis of Nazi Fascism and Bolshevik Communism).
As such it was no Western government intelligence agency that discovered the cover of Dr. Ying Niujiao but rather the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit.
Phoebe Sears the cryptographer and code breaker for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had cracked the code being sent from Beijing to Geneva.
And she had managed to do it as a result of a misspelling on the message in a fortune 🥠 cookie delivered to her apartment from Lydo Chinese Food 🍲 🥘 in London.
As the Chinese MSS operative and cook at Lydo’s Chinese Food in London was hitting his forehead and saying, “Oh, what a dummy! Oh, what a dummy!”, Set Enterprises was arranging for the dispatch of Dr. Ying Niujiao to the Underworld.
Phoebe Sears, even though she had cracked the code, would not be undertaking this particular intelligence mission.
She would be kept out of the public eye for a while as she had recently dispatched a trio of ancient Egyptian deities (who were worshipped by the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry) to the Underworld.
And so Desiree Davenport (who herself was a physicist by profession) would be sent to dispatch Dr. Ying Niujiao to the Underworld.
The nickname for Dr. Ying Niujiao was the Horny Eagle 🦅 as he apparently had quite an eye for the ladies.
“What are you drinking?” Dr. Niujiao asked her as he approached.
“Why don’t you take a sip and find out?” Desiree Davenport answered with a smile.
Dr. Ying Niujiao did so.
The heavy dose of Polonium-210 (a drink additive often favoured by Russian intelligence services) killed him instantly.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Monday June 5th
2023.
Aphrodite In Venice
The Greek goddess Aphrodite in the city of Venice
The Greek goddess Aphrodite was in the city of Venice wearing a beautiful lilac dress as she walked along a brick pier.
She was here to meet Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
Van Helsing was on a mission for Set Enterprises.
Set Enterprises was hoping to stop Asclepius the Greek god of medicine, Thoth the Egyptian god of math 🧮 and the sciences, the Norse trickster god Loki, evil deranged mad scientist Dr. Anthony Fauci and the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio from bringing the Egyptian divine trio of Isis, Osiris and Horus back from the dead.
Isis, Osiris and Horus had recently been dispatched to the Underworld by Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit secret agent Phoebe Sears.
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was hoping to use Van Helsing’s influence with Aphrodite to use her influence with Zeus to use his influence with his grandson Asclepius not to bring that Egyptian divine trio back from the dead.
Orson Welles’ ghost was on a boat enjoying a plate of spectral Black Sea caviar as Van Helsing approached Aphrodite.
Van Helsing and Aphrodite went to a nearby Venetian restaurant to discuss their plans.
The waiter in the restaurant poured Dracul and Aphrodite glasses of iced water as the pair examined the menu.
Samhain Cardinal Salaman (one of the few heterosexuals in Francis’ Vatican Curia) walked by.
He tapped each one of the glasses of iced water 💦 and turned it into wine 🍷.
“Don’t worry,” the Cardinal smiled, “I am just a volshebnik. I am not Christ.”
Meanwhile back on the boat, the ghost of Orson Welles holding a glass of red wine 🍷 that suddenly turned to iced 🧊 water 💦 watched as the ship The Flying Dutchman sailed into the Venetian harbour.
“Captain Hendrick Van der Decken at your service,” a man wearing the 18th Century maritime uniform of a sea captain for the Dutch East India Company appeared in front of Welles.
. . .
World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab would be speaking to a group of influential businessmen.
Set Enterprises had sent one of their Intelligence Unit secret agents the invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka purple bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger to inject a needle 💉 containing truth serum into the buttocks of Klaus Schwab so he would be compelled to tell the truth at some point during his speech.
As Schwab stood up at the podium shooting his mouth off with banal platitudes, he suddenly grimaced but then went on.
Said Schwab, “Adolf Hitler said it by railway loudspeaker to the Jews leaving by train to the camps of Auschwitz, Buchenwald and Dachau almost a century ago and I will say it again, “You vill own nothing and you vill be happy.” Oh kacke scheisse, I can’t believe I just said that.”
. . .
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Saturday night podcast.
Noted Renfield, “Earlier today I got an invitation on Facebook from a group calling itself Bud Light Drinkers 4 Justin a group whose motto is Justin Trudeau is The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread 🥖 🍞. I googled the group and I’d have to say the photo of the group Bud Light Drinkers 4 Justin looks a lot like The Rocky Horror Picture Show but with a lot uglier looking transvestites. I messaged them back saying Thanks but no thanks. I also pointed out that Justin Trudeau is not the greatest thing since sliced bread. He’s the greatest thing since castration.”
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Saturday June 3rd
2023.
Phoebe At The Opera Garnier
Phoebe in a backstage dressing room of the Opera Garnier in Paris
Phoebe worked as a cryptographer and code breaker for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit in London.
She had recently dispatched the Egyptian god Osiris and his son Horus back to the Underworld.
Now she was in Paris to do the same to the Paris based Egyptian vampiress Isis (the sister and wife of Osiris and the mother of Horus).
Isis was hosting a special performance of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of The Opera at the Opera Garnier in Paris.
She had invited some of the leading creeps and cretins behind the World Economic Forum to attend.
Isis sat in the most preeminent box in the entire Opera Garnier.
During the scene where the Opera chandelier is lowered carrying the famed Phantom of the Opera, this time a beautiful woman wearing a beautiful purple red evening gown was standing atop the chandelier as it was lowered.
The beautiful woman in the beautiful red evening gown was Phoebe.
In her arms she carried a crossbow with a silver arrow.
When the chandelier reached the point in the theatre auditorium where it was closest to Isis’ box, Phoebe fired the silver arrow directly at the vampiress Isis’ heart 💜.
“Merde,” was Isis’ last word before she crumbled into dust.
There was a family reunion of Egyptian deities in the Underworld afterwards.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 24th
2023.
Phoebe Attends Anglican Ordination of Egyptian God Horus
Phoebe dressed to attend the priestly ordination of the Egyptian god Horus to the Church of England priesthood at the hands of Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby
Phoebe was dressed to attend a priestly ordination service for the Egyptian god God Horus at The Blessed James A. Pike Church By The Spook Well.
For millennia the Egyptian god Horus had been a disembodied spirit after he had been beheaded by King Arthur back in the 6th Century AD.
He had occasionally possessed the bodies of various humans throughout the centuries and most recently had possessed the body of an AI robotic falcon.
Set Enterprises’ Associate Scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague had been experimenting with an electromagnetic pulse that would shoot forth from an Energizer Bunny 🐰 Jack In The Box.
The experiment resulted in the destruction of both Jack In The Box and AI robotic falcon.
Horus went off in search of a new body.
He found one in the body of a drag queen and librarian who was studying for the U.S. Episcopalian priesthood at an Episcopal seminary in California.
The drag queen seminarian had been fooling around with a Ouija board that had Egyptian hieroglyphs on it.
He invited Horus in so he could have the 2s (two spirit) portion of the LGBTQ2s+ equation.
The seminarian upon graduation was invited to be ordained a priest by Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby over in England.
The drag queen whose 2 spirited name was Horus Falconalia flew over to England for the ordination.
Last night Phoebe had dispatched Horus’ father Osiris to the Underworld again.
The point of departure was the emergency ward at Charing Cross Hospital in London.
Tonight Phoebe would be presenting Horus (as Horus Falconalia) with a poisoned copy of the book Very Fairy Fairy Tales To Read To Children.
Horus Falconalia dropped dead while leafing through the poisoned pages of the book at the post-ordination wine 🍷 and cheese 🧀 party in the church hall of Blessed James A. Pike Church By The Spook Well.
Phoebe then left for a nightclub where the voice of Gordon Lightfoot on the club’s sound system could be heard singing, “Just like an old time movie about a ghost from a wishing well…”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 23rd
2023.
Phoebe Plays The Role of A Doctor At Charing Cross Hospital
Phoebe plays the role of a doctor at Charing Cross Hospital 🏥
The Egyptian god Osiris was holidaying in London.
Osiris’ current residence was in Rome where he often kept in touch with the Vatican.
However the Roman summer heat appeared to be starting earlier this year (all the Chicken 🐓 Littles in the world were blaming it on climate change which was probably true but at the same time these same Chicken 🐓 Littles were blaming climate change on man made CO2 emissions because Al Gore, Pope Francis and the World Economic Forum said so although there was no real actual scientific evidence to back up the claim) and so Osiris decided to go to the UK where it wasn’t quite as hot as Rome.
As Osiris crossed the street at Piccadilly Circus, he was run over by an Austin Mini driven by British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who was the former Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises).
One might wonder whether the incident was deliberate as Set Enterprises was owned by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (who was Osiris’ brother, brother-in-law, chief rival and arch enemy).
However Renfield did not remain at the scene as he was late for tonight’s podcast from his study in the mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
Tonight he would be dispensing advice to the people of Holland 🇳🇱.
“Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte should be publicly hanged by the neck until dead.”
As well as advice to the people of the European Union 🇪🇺.
“The entire Commission of the European Union 🇪🇺 should all be publicly hanged by the neck until dead.”
And advice for the people of Canada.
“Justin Trudeau should be publicly hanged by the neck until dead.”
Osiris in the meantime was rushed by ambulance to Charing Cross Hospital.
When he came to, an orderly told him that Dr. Phoebe would be with him shortly.
After a few minutes Dr. Phoebe entered the room.
Osiris was very much regretting at that moment the fact that he had a wooden phallus.
Coincidentally enough at that moment Justin Trudeau was regretting the same for himself.
Osiris had a wooden phallus because of an altercation he had with his brother Set millennia ago.
During which time Osiris was cut up into 14 pieces by Set.
And the pieces were distributed all over Egypt.
Osiris’ sister and wife Isis managed to retrieve 13 of the 14 pieces and managed to put him back together again using a magic spell from the Egyptian Book of the Dead.
The only piece she couldn’t find was Osiris’ phallus.
Hence how Osiris wound up with a wooden phallus.
As for Justin Trudeau, there were rumours of a drag queen who carried the world’s smallest mousetrap at the back of his/her/its skirt.
Dr. Phoebe of course wasn’t really a doctor.
At least not a medical doctor.
She was a cryptographer and code breaker for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit.
Yes that Set Enterprises.
The one owned by Osiris’ brother, brother-in-law, chief rival and arch enemy Set.
If Osiris had been wearing his glasses 👓 (which he wasn’t since they were damaged in the accident), he’d have realized that what he thought was a stethoscope 🩺 around Phoebe’s neck was actually measuring tape that had the word TOXIC written all over it.
What Phoebe inserted into Osiris’ arm was not intravenous drip but rather an extremely poisonous embalming fluid.
Osiris the Egyptian god of the Underworld was once again heading there.
The underworld.
As Osiris slept, Phoebe went to a club where she ordered a martini 🍸.
Shaken not stirred.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Monday May 22nd
2023.
Phoebe At The Jane Austen Society Ball
Phoebe attending a Jane Austen Society Ball in London
Phoebe worked as a cryptographer and code breaker for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit.
She did so because her father (who had been a Classics professor at Oxford) had been murdered on the orders of her 33rd Degree Freemasonic grandfather.
Her grandfather was actually younger than her father had been (a long story don’t ask).
So since the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry worshipped Osiris and his son Horus (among other deities), she went to work for the company owned by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (who was the brother of Osiris and the uncle of Horus).
Tonight of course she was off work and currently attending a Jane Austen Society Ball in London.
The past week she had been working on a very strange coded signal that was being picked up by various Set Enterprises listening receivers throughout the world.
As of yet, she was still unable to trace the signal or even crack the code.
But tonight, she was worried about none of these things.
Tonight she danced.
The orchestra was taking a break and Phoebe walked out on to the veranda balcony.
She checked her iPhone and noticed someone she followed on Instagram had just posted.
The Instagram influencer was a very intelligent and what appeared to be a very intellectually inclined bearded dragon named Murph.
Of course the videos and photos were posted by Murph’s owner.
Tonight on the Instagram post were various photos of Murph looking through a telescope at the night sky.
Then Murph’s owner posted a video of what Murph had been looking at through the night sky.
An object in outer space beaming a light signal.
Phoebe recognized the frequencies.
They were the same strange code she had been trying to crack all week.
The code was coming from outer space.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 21st
2023.
Phoebe
Her name was Phoebe.
She was the daughter of a Classics professor at Oxford.
Homer Hesiod Ovid Sears taught Greek and Roman Mythology at Oxford.
He never married but at the age of 60 he fell in love with one of his students (a breathtakingly beautiful woman who fortunately Phoebe resembled in appearance) who was only 20.
And she fell in love with him.
The 20 year old named Gaia was the daughter of a lawyer Caelus Biltervan.
Sears married Gaia and soon they were with child.
Biltervan was angry at having a son-in-law who was older than he was.
Being a 33rd Degree Freemason Biltervan ordered the ruffians who appeared in the Masonic play about Hiram Abiff to slash Homer Hesiod Ovid Sears’ throat from ear to ear, to ritually disembowel him and then bury him six feet away from the sea.
This they did.
And Gaia Sears found herself a widow with a child.
Now Phoebe herself had turned 20 and she had landed a job working as a cryptographer and code breaker for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit.
Phoebe: Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit cryptographer and code breaker.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 20th
2023.
Mirabella Francesca Franconia At The Vatican
Mirabella Francesca Franconia (parliamentary secretary to British MP Renfield R. Renfield) at the Vatican
Mirabella Francesca Franconia was at the Vatican.
The parliamentary secretary to British MP Renfield R. Renfield was investigating whether the peace plan Renfield negotiated between Russia 🇷🇺 and Ukraine 🇺🇦 last month was going to be co-opted by the so-called “Humble” Pope (who was actually the most vainglorious and conceited pontiff in all recorded history) Francis.
She walked among the statues at the Vatican Museum.
While walking, she ran into Samhain Cardinal Salaman the sole heterosexual in Francis’ entire upper level Vatican 🇻🇦 administration (the man who helped Renfield negotiate the plan at the top secret conference in Vienna last month).
The Cardinal told her, “I don’t think Francis knows about the plan. He’s just performing and grandstanding that he does have a plan so that the world’s brainless mainstream media will be impressed.”
The Cardinal and Mirabella Francesca Franconia walked to a nearby cafe where they both ordered a cappuccino.
The owner of the cafe was playing British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s latest podcast on the cafe sound system.
Renfield was currently saying what should be done with Biden climate change envoy and former Secretary of State John Kerry.
“John Kerry should be publicly hanged by the neck until dead,” Renfield stated.
A clip was then shown of John Kerry saying that the Biden Administration would not rule out confiscating U.S. farmers’ farms like the Dutch government was currently doing to Dutch farmers.
Coincidentally at that moment a farm made manure cream pie was being thrown in the face of senile old fool Joe Biden by a 6 foot 8 tall invisible entity at the Tokyo G-7 Summit.
Although members of the brainless mainstream media who had been imbibing Harvey Wallbanger drinks insisted that the culprit was a 6 foot 8 tall purple bunny rabbit.
Renfield was then discussing an immediate solution to the world’s problems.
“George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab should be publicly hanged by the neck until dead,” Renfield noted.
“I see your boss holds somewhat differing views on capital punishment from those of Pope Francis,” Samhain Cardinal Salaman observed to Mirabella Francesca Franconia.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 19th
2023.
Byzantine Vampiress Theodora Is In Scotland Doing Advertising In Romanian
The Byzantine Vampiress Theodora was in a photo shoot in a beautiful Bed and Breakfast on Scotland’s Loch Lomond. It was for an ad in a Romanian magazine.
The Byzantine Vampiress Theodora was the subject of a vampiress hunt by governments all over the world as it was suspected she was involved in plots to stop the George Soros/Bill Gates/Klaus Schwab/ Pope Francis New World Order.
Byzantine Vampiress Theodora: A threat to the New World Order
Among the governments of the world embedded (venereally) with the New World Order was the government of Australia 🇦🇺.
Already three Australian states had lined up to enforce Digital IDs on their citizens.
Australia’s National Government of Anthony Albanese (after attending a weekend convention where the person in charge had ordered Bud Light Beer instead of Foster’s) had just named a notorious Australian drag queen who went by the name of Uncle Ernie to be the covert head of Australia’s foreign intelligence operations.
The news was greeted with sheer delight by the CCP Politburo in Beijing.
As the new covert head of Australia’s foreign intelligence operations, Uncle Ernie was sent to the UK to reign in the Byzantine vampiress Theodora.
He discovered that she was involved in a photo shoot on the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.
Likewise Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, working for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit, had discovered that Theodora was involved in a photo shoot on the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.
After snorting 3 dozen ounces of crack cocaine, Uncle Ernie decided to take the high road to Scotland 🏴.
He got into his motor vehicle 🚗 and eventually ended up crashing into the ruins of an Augustinian abbey in the town of Jedburgh, Scotland.
Uncle Ernie was arrested by Scottish police and charged with Driving Under The Influence as well as desecrating a Scottish national monument.
Dracul Van Helsing rented Mr. Bean’s mini car and thus took the low road to Scotland 🏴.
In this journey, he was accompanied by the ghost of Orson Welles.
Welles’ ghost wore a spectral Redpath tartan kilt and sporran and had a large steaming ghostly plate of Scottish haggis on his lap.
After hitting many a bump on the road to Scotland in Mr. Bean’s very low mini (always accompanied by excruciatingly earth shattering screams from Welles’ ghost), there was not much left of the plate of haggis by the time they reached the Scottish border.
As they passed Jedburgh, they noticed Uncle Ernie, wearing a Christian Dior evening gown plus handcuffs, being loaded into the back of a Scottish police van.
Eventually the duo reached Loch Lomond.
Van Helsing entered the B. and B. on the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond and encountered Theodora wearing the same dress as she was in this ad:
Naturally Van Helsing made out with Theodora on the spot.
Welles’ ghost, suspecting that Van Helsing was probably making out with Theodora, decided not to enter the B. and B.
Instead he walked down to the shore of Loch Lomond where he encountered a female Scottish pixie 🧚♀️ who threw him to the shore and made out with him.
The Loch Ness Monster (who had somehow wound up in Loch Lomond after a package thrown from the back of a Scottish police cruiser had wound up in Loch Ness and Nessie had discovered the contents and devoured them) came upon the spectacle of a kilt and sporran wearing Orson Welles’ ghost making out with a female Scottish pixie 🧚♀️.
“Oh my Void,” Nessie screamed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 16th
2023.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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