Renfield Encounters Nazi Gestapo Canadian Police At Grace Life Church In Spruce Grove Alberta

April 14, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield flew across the Pacific Ocean from Xi Jinping’s Communist China to Justin Trudeau’s Communist Canada in the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s invisible dirigible airship The Claude Rains and Lamont Cranston Project One.

He’d be making a few stops in North America before heading out across the Atlantic back to Boris Johnson’s increasingly zombie nosferatu Britain.

His first stop was at the Grace Life Church in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada which last week was raided and closed by Nazi Gestapo members of the RCMP who put up a fence around the building and property blocking access to the pastors and congregation.

When last Sunday supporters of Grace Life Church and supporters of religious liberty and freedom to worship gathered outside the fenced enclave, a task force made up of 200 armed and psycho stormtroopers of a Nazi Gestapo joint unit of RCMP and Edmonton Police Service entered the premises.

The head of the task force was codenamed Himmler Zimmer.

Which was all right as far as he was concerned.

Since he was a big fan of Nazi SS head Heinrich Himmler.

Just as the Church in 1933-45 Germany was required to worship Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler in precedence over Jesus Christ, so the Church in 2020-2021 Canada and possibly into the Great Reset beyond was required to worship the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Covid-19 virus in precedence over Jesus Christ.

Churches and congregations who refused were to be crushed with the full armed might of the state with their pastors jailed and congregational members persecuted.

Himmler Zimmer went and relieved himself at what was the former altar of the now closed church.

When he returned to his office (formerly the pastor’s office) he was shocked to see a stranger sitting at his desk (formerly the pastor’s desk).

“Who the Hell are you?” Himmler Zimmer demanded to know.

The stranger kicked Zimmer in the balls and answered, “The name is Renfield. Renfield R. … Renfield.”

Zimmer got up off the floor rubbing his small testicles and said, “Aren’t you that British MP who’s the epitome of political incorrectness?”.

“I am,” Renfield nodded and helped himself to Himmler Zimmer’s last 3 dozen Tim Horton’s donuts from a box of 3 dozen Tim Horton’s donuts.

Himmler Zimmer’s cloudy expression clouded over even more when he saw his donuts being eaten.

“How did the Hell did you manage to enter these premises without being seen?” Zimmer demanded to know.

“I flew over and entered in an invisible dirigible airship,” Renfield poured a dozen creams and a dozen cartons of sugar into Himmler Zimmer’s large pot of coffee and drank it all.

Himmler Zimmer’s increasingly cloudy expression clouded over even more when he saw his entire pot of coffee drunken.

“Well, you’ll have a lot of trouble leaving,” Zimmer grinned fiendishly.

“I think not,” Renfield licked all the icing off his donut laced fingers leaving a raised middle finger in Himmler Zimmer’s direction, “I have my personal British Army Brigade of Gurkhas with me. They move so swiftly and so stealthily, one would almost think them invisible.”

“I find that very hard to believe,” Zimmer laughed.

He suddenly gasped.

For within seconds, he found that his pants had been pulled down and he was now wearing women’s panties.

A police sargeant entered his office and saluted, “Commander Zimmer. All of the members of this Nazi Gestapo Police Task Force have had their pants pulled down and have now ended up wearing women’s panties.”

The phone on the desk rang.

Renfield handed him the receiver.

“I imagine it’s probably for you,” Renfield began eating a BLT sandwich.

“Yes Cpl. Dan-o, what is it?” Zimmer asked.

“Commander Zimmer,” Cpl. Dan-o’s panicked voice could be heard, “All of the bull dyke lesbian blowhard members of this Nazi Gestapo Task Force have suddenly found themselves wearing women’s panties. They’re wondering if this is intended as a personal insult against the members of the LGBTQ2s+ (and further letters and numbers and signs and counting coming soon to a bastion of annoying political correctness near you) community. They’re already bellowing and mooing their anger in the background.”

Sounds of angry bellowing and mooing could be heard in the background.

“Boxer shorts them, Dan-o,” Himmler Zimmer ordered and slammed the phone down.

He looked at his chair (formerly the pastor’s chair).

He noticed that Renfield was missing.

And so was his last BLT sandwich.

An invisible airship dirigible was now headed towards the Alberta-Saskatchewan border.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 14th
2021

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Mei-ling Manchu and A Clockwork Orange

April 13, 2021 at 10:41 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had met vampiress Mei-ling Manchu yesterday at the Green Dragon and Shamrock B. And B. (Bed and Breakfast) in Beijing, China.

There Renfield had given Mei-ling Manchu the bomb that Set Enterprises’ chief acientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had invented and designed to kill Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.

The bomb was called A Clockwork Orange and it was a cuckoo clock made out of mandarin oranges.

When the orange clock timed and chimed the hour, a cuckoo bird bearing the head of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau emerged from the top part of the clock and said “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!”.

The bottom sides of the cuckoo clock would open immediately afterwards and a medieval knight who looked like a young Malcolm McDowell (as the British actor would have looked in about 1971) would then chase a figure of the despotic Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II around until he finally beheaded him.

When this happened, the cuckoo bird with Justin Trudeau’s head would emerge from the top part of the clock for one final “Cuckoo!” before Justin’s head would fall on to the track below where a train blowing “Choo! Choo!” would run over his head.

The whole complex scenario with cast of characters would be played all over again an hour later when the orange clock timed and chimed the next hour.

The idea and inspiration for the clock had come from the dazzling imagination of Renfield R. Renfield himself although the mechanisms for the clock (made out of a particularly hard variety of Dr. Cadbury Rocher developed mandarin oranges) were made by Dr. Rocher.

The Clockwork Orange device itself had been fitted with an unusual tracking mechanism designed to detect the particular individual DNA of Xi Jinping himself within a distance of one foot.

The device would then go off as a bomb killing Xi instantly.

In the meantime, other people could enjoy the splendid mechanisms and unique mechanical performances hour upon the hour of the Clockwork Orange contraption until such time as it wound up in the presence of Xi.

Then it would be like that old 1960s TV commercial for a now defunct brand of toilet paper called Zee in which children’s voices at the end of the commercial said, “Mommy, there’s no more Zee.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 13th
2021.

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Mei-ling Manchu At The Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B In Beijing

April 12, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B in Beijing

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu was waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B (Bed and Breakfast) in Beijing.

Mei-ling Manchu had once been a loyal follower of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party).

But during the last decade she had come to realize that the CCP had only increasd misery not alleviated it.

For the real purpose of the CCP had been, like that of Communist parties everywhere, to crush the human soul.

Having once been a dialectical materialist, she had not believed in the existence of the human soul.

But in the dissidents she had occasionally met over the years, those dissidents who had stood up against the CCP regime in Beijing, she had come to realize that the human soul and the human spirit did exist in those dissidents.

Those who continued to follow the regime, followed its despotic decrees day by day and meekly accepted the CCP’s diabolic Social Credit score were allowing their souls day by day to die little by little.

Until one day their souls were no more.

And they were just human fleshed cogs in a CCP machine who’d one day be replaced by robot cogs in the machine as the Transhumanism of the new Xi Jinping inspired CCP Transhumanism and the Transhumanism of the western globalist technocratic Fascism of the capitalist West merged into one.

What was killing the souls of the once great Chinese people was now killing the souls of people across the globe.

For lockdowns and isolation and the creation of a two-tiered system of people via vaccine passports was spreading throughout the world.

And most did not resist.

For their souls had been killed by the diabolical dialectic materialism of monopolistic capitalism with its greed and avarice (what Saint Paul had dubbed “the love of money” which the Apostle had further noted was “the root of all evil”).

Like Esau in the Bible who had sold his inheritance for a bowl of pottage, so the peoples of the West had sold their inheritance (their souls) for a bowl of pottage (whatever little bits of slop their globalist technocratic masters threw at them as long as they kept on their masks, practiced their social distancing and continued their OCD continuous handwashing).

The Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. in Beijing was owned by Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

He had been granted permission to open this B. and B. by Chinese Premier Chou En-lai back in the early 1970s.

As David Cheung the owner of Edmonton’s Pearl River Restaurant had once told a young University student (today a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield) that when Chou died “the people of China wept both in public and in private but when Mao died they wept in public but not in private”).

The inference being that Chou did have the interests of the Chinese people at heart even though he had mistakenly chosen the philosophy of Marxism-Leninism to bring about a better society.

While Mao did not have the interests of the Chinese people at heart.

He was a megalomaniac who craved power for power’s sake.

Just like today Xi Jinping was a 2nd Mao Tse-tung.

Chou and Yaldabaoth had once made their own recipe a Peking Duck Irish Stew together and Chou had let Yaldabaoth have this property as his reward.

And today Mei-ling Manchu was meeting British MP Renfield R. Renfield at the Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. to put the final touches on their plan to kill Xi Jinping.

Renfield, who had disappeared from public sight in Britain last week, had in fact been flying the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s invisible dirigible airship The Claude Rains and Lamont Cranston Project One over to China.

Renfield and Mei-ling greeted one another with a hug and a kiss and then went into the B. and B.

“Mei-ling,” Renfield inquired, “Sherrielock Holmes was telling me about anassignment she had once done for Britain’s MI-6. The matter apparently involved then California U.S. Republican Senatorial candidate Richard M. Nixon and yourself. She had hired a Los Angeles private eye Carson Cody Albion to see what was going on. Apparently Albion discovered that you had failed in your attempt to seduce Nixon.”

“I did not fail,” Mei-ling said, “It turns out that Nixon, despite his many faults, was at least loyal and faithful to his wife which is not true of most male politicians of whatever political stripe in the U.S.A.”.

“So you got nothing out of your encounter?” Renfield sipped his cup of green tea.

“I did hypnotize him with a Ming dynasty pocket watch- the first pocket watch ever invented,” Mei-ling noted, “I said whenever he heard a German wearing glasses singing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories, then he was to open up diplomatic relations with the government of the People’s Republic of China. One of our operatives Ho Babylon Minh hypnotized Dr. Henry Kissinger via use of a blow job to sing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories at a White House gala in early 1971. That set everything in motion. Nixon in a live TV address on July 15th 1971 announced that he would be visiting the People’s Republic of China.”

As Mei-ling Manchu tossed a 1000-Year-Old egg into a nearby garbage can, Renfield wondered to himself, “I wonder who got the best end of the stick? Nixon or Kissinger?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 12th
2021.

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Little Noticed Russian Ministry of Health Statement

April 8, 2021 at 10:04 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Another BBC News announcer had been shot and killed in the intermittent
warfare going on in the BBC news room between Neo-Stalinist Neo-Bolshevik Communists and Neo-Trotskyite Neo-Bolshevik Communists.

If Chief Inspector Brackenreid of Murdoch Mysteries was alive today and even more importantly not a fictional character, he might put it this way, “It’s what Eric “Bloody” Blair wrote about in the Spanish Civil War all over again. The reason the Republican side lost the Spanish Civil War.”

Stalinist Republicans and Trotskyite Republicans spending more time killing one another than killing Gen. Franco’s Nationalists.

As such, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was stepping in once again to read the BBC News on behalf of yet another recently deceased announcer.

Adding his own personal flourish and commentary.

Said Renfield, “The interior of the 13th Century Gothic Saint Nicolas Collegiate Church in Avesnes-sur-Help, northern France, which sports a 60 metre tower, was destroyed by an April 5th fire. The building’s structure was not damaged although a historic altarpiece was lost in the flames.
Police took a man into custody who was seen on surveillance camera as the last person leaving the church before the fire broke out.
No word yet on whether the perpetrator was a mentally unhinged sex addict, a Muslim extremist or a White Supremacist with white privileges.”

Continuing on, Renfield read, “In other news, Archbishop Michel Aupetit of Paris had an escargot and cheese fondue cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity. Although a Harvey Wallbanger drinking altar boy claims that the perpetrator was a 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.
The escargot and cheese fondue cream pieing took place a day after Archbishop Michel Aupetit had launched canonical proceedings against the traditionalist Tridentine Latin Mass priest Father Marc Guelfucci the parish priest of St. Eugene et St. Cecile Church in Paris for not worshipping the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus Scamdemic during last weekend’s Holy Saturday Easter Eve vigil.”

Meanwhile American President Joe Biden, who had tripped and fallen 72 times during his walk from the Oval Office door to his Oval Office desk, asked one of his aides, “What’s this Poseidon 2M39 torpedo?”.

His aide replied, “It’s Russia’s new superweapon. An unmanned stealth torpedo that can evade coastal defences by travelling along the sea floor.”

“Do we have one of those?” Biden asked as his fingers fell 33 times on his desk trying to reach for a pen.

“No, it’s like the Keystone Pipeline,” his aide answered, “Environmentally unsafe.”

“Good thing we don’t have it then,” Biden inhaled his marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Sweet Dementia’s exhaled cactus pot smoke.

And while all this was happening, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was talking to Peter Whitstable (the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol) via Skype.

“Did you hear about the Russian Ministry of Health Report released today?” Whitstable asked.

“No, what did it say?” Van Helsing inquired.

“Well, Russia acted against WHO regulations and dissected a group of Covid-19 patients,” Whitstable pointed out.

“Wait, are you saying WHO doesn’t allow autopsies to be performed on people who are supposed to have died from Covid-19?” Van Helsing wanted to know.

“That’s right,” Whitstable nodded.

“Then how do they know they actually died from Covid-19?” Van Helsing asked.

Whitstable shrugged, “Anyways, they discovered that those people they dissected didn’t die from a virus. They died from extended radiation poisoned bacteria.”

“Extended radiation poisoned bacteria?” Van Helsing had never even heard of such a dystopian sci-fi term, “That sounds like something produced in a Xi Jinping approved CCP science experiment.”

“Which is probably what it is,” Whitstable admitted, “Anyways these extended radiation poisoned bacteria lead to the formation of blood clots in veins and nerves. Anyways with these blood clots in the veins and nerves, the brain, lungs and heart cannot properly oxygenate which makes it difficult for people to breathe and people die quickly with lack of breathing energy.”

“Would this phenomenon be true of all Covid-19 patients?” Van Helsing asked, “And isn’t bacteria dfferent from a virus? And if the Russian autopsies (which the CCP stooge and puppet Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus asked people not to perform) are accurate, it sounds like what we’re dealing with here is definitely a man-made phenomenon and not some disease caused by a virus jumping from one species to another.”

“That would be my conclusion as well,” Whitstable nodded.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 8th
2021.

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Miranda Singh Raids The Gates of Hell Zoo

April 1, 2021 at 10:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing another one of his podcasts.

“Well,” Renfield began, “The Easter weekend is coming up and so naturally the world’s governments and health “experts” are suddenly discovering a surplus of cases of the various variants of Covid-19 that health “experts” suddenly discovered when the original Covid-19 virus suddenly seemed to be winding down. Ending the lockdown of most inhabitants of the planet and allowing the world a return to pre-March 2020 normality was definitely not in the cards as far as the Great Reset global oligarchy was concerned. Multitudes of people brainwashed by the mainstream media (who are not true journalists but are nothing more than the paid prostitutes and whores of the world’s global oligarchs) think that this all has to do with “health” or if they believe the current Vatican administration’s blathering “climate change”. This has nothing to do with “health” or “climate change”. It has to do with setting up a totalitarian one-world government under the control of the world’s global oligarchs.
As can be seen by the fact that 24 world leaders including Britan’s own brainless Boris Johnson just penned a declaration calling for a Global Pandemic Treaty. This treaty, if formally signed and implemented, will be the first step towards a one-world government. Now, John Lennon’s song Imagine has a nice melody and tune to it but don’t let that nice melody and tune suck you into the “Imagine no countries” scenario that the Great Reset global oligarchy has got planned for you, your family and your loved ones.
The line “Imagine there’s no heaven” will definitely have truth to it because there is nothing heavenly about the global oligarchs’ Great Reset plans.
“No Hell below us” will definitely be true as well because the Great Reset global oligarchs will have brought Hell up to the Earth’s surface for all to enjoy.
The first taste of Hell they’ve already unleashed on the world through Xi Jinping’s and the CCP’s Wuhan Institute of Virology.
Lo and behold! the CCP’s puppets on the executive of WHO (World Health Organization) couldn’t discover what was behind the origin of the Covid-19 virus in their recent joke of an investigation.
Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Tigray People’s Liberation Front Ethiopian Communist head of WHO should be shot by firing squad in my humble opinion (I don’t hold the same limp wristed pansy position on capital punishment as that held by Pope Francis) along with that obnoxious idiot Dr. Anthony Fauci who can’t even remember the numbered names of the numerous variants of Covid-19 virus that are supposedly out there when questioned by Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul.
Interestingly enough the proposed fine print of the Global Pandemic Treaty is proposed to be unveiled at this coming G-7 Summit to be held in June in Cornwall, England.
And Cornwall is the place where tradition holds that King Arthur was conceived – at Tintagel Castle in Cornwall.
King Arthur who spent his life battling demon possessed warriors and invading forces.
History seems to have come full circle.

. . .

The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were walking through Saint Peter’s Basilica.

“Nice that we’re able to walk through Saint Peter’s Basilica on Maundy Thursday or Holy Thursday,” Nimrod commented as he licked an ice cream cone with his long tongue, “How are we able to do that?”.

“Well, the fact that Hecate’s skull was buried here around the time the document Amoris Laetitia was released and Hecate’s black cat familiar Amorous Laetitia did a dance around the High Altar at the time in honour of the Greek goddess of witchcraft helped,” Asmodeus sipped his cappucino, “along with the fact that an idol of the Inca Earth Mother Goddess Pachamama was brought into the Basilica at the Amazon Synod back in October 2019 and Pope Francis has recently forbidden priests to say private Masses in the chapels here (and many of those priests were saying private Masses according to the Tridentine Latin Mass liturgy which His Most Luciferian and Satanic Majesty hates) so all that allows us to walk through here with impunity.”

. . .

Set Enterprises secret agent Miranda Singh had discovered information about an experimental animal farm in northern England.

The name of the animal farm was the Gates of Hell Zoo.

The zoo was said to be financed by an American couple with the last name of Gates.

A vaccine was to be given to the animals there to turn them all into zombie nosferatu.

Miranda Singh arrived there with an army of gnomes and knocked out the guards with Cadbury Rocher Tesla Knockout Laser Rays.

The animals were then freed.

Miranda Singh after all the animals were freed from the Gates of Hell Covid-1984 Experimental Animal Farm in northern England

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 1st
2021

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Star-Crossed Leprechaun

March 11, 2021 at 11:43 pm (Espionage, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“Darling, darling, what is it you saw?” Parker Andrewes asked his wife Claire.

“Perhaps Madame Andrewes would like a cup of tea?” Bela the butler put a tea tray down on the table next to the lounging chair where Claire Andrewes had collapsed after looking out the window.

“Tea would be nice,” said Claire.

“Darling, what was it you saw?” Parker Andrewes asked his wife again.

“A leprechaun,” Claire replied.

“A leprechaun?” Parker Andrewes was stunned by the reply.

“You mean like the wee green folk who live in Ireland?” Bela inquired.

“Yes,” Claire nodded.

Our story begins several hours earlier in the year 2021 at 10 Downing Street in London.

“And what did you say your name was again?” British Prime Minister Boris Johnson asked his bald headed guest with the big fangs protruding over his mouth.

“Count Nosferatu,” the bald headed man with big fangs answered.

“Count Nosferatu?” Johnson removed some scrambled eggs that had been caught in his hair, “You mean like Count Dracula?”.

“No, Count Nosferatu like the 1922 German silent film Nosferatu starring Max Schreck,” the bald headed vampire answered, “Although his name was Count Orlok in the film but mine is Nosferatu. That’s because I was the world’s first Nosferatu.”

“What’s the difference between Nosferatu and other vampires?” Johnson removed some slices of bacon caught in his hair.

“Nosferatu are bald headed vampires,” Count Nosferatu replied.

“Really?” Boris Johnson started washing his hair with Johnson’s Baby Shampoo, “I hope that won’t happen to me. The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith turned me into what she called a zombie nosferatu. I hope this doesn’t mean I’m going to go bald.”

“Many zombies still have hair,” Count Nosferatu reflected, “so perhaps you’ll be more zombie than nosferatu.”

“Gosh, I certainly hope so,” Johnson started drying his hair with heat from a toaster he held upside down over his head.

“I think someone’s filming us,” Count Nosferatu pointed to the potted plants on the stand outside the 2nd floor balcony window.

“It must be the blasted members of the press again,” Johnson seethed, “I’m going to settle this once and for all. I’m going to moon them.”

Johnson pulled his trousers and boxer shorts down.

He then turned around and bent over.

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was standing in the potted plants filming the Boris Johnson-Count Nosferatu meeting on behalf of Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

He was startled by the sight of Boris Johnson mooning him.

So much so that he pushed the wrong button on his Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern Film Projector and Camera.

The device could also serve as an instrument for time travel.

Yaldabaoth wound up in the year 1939 on the Parker Andrewes Estate near Watertown New York.

Claire Andrewes happened to be looking out the Andrewes mansion window at the time.

She noticed the wee leprechaun.

Yaldbaoth tried pushing another button on the device to return to the time from whence he came.

Instead he pushed a button that projected 3-D holographic images of the Boris Johnson-Count Nosferatu meeting including the British Prime Minister’s infamous mooning of the potted plants on the 2nd floor balcony window.

The sight of Johnson’s moon landing sent Claire Andrewes reeling into her lounging chair where her husband Parker and their butler Bela came rushing to her aid.

The ghost of radio show host Paul Harvey appeared outside the mansion and speaking into a ghostly microphone said, “And now you know the rest of the story.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 11th
2021.

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Princess Jasmine Bella Donna

February 28, 2021 at 11:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Princess Jasmine Bella Donna: Source of the intelligence reports that Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman was indeed responsible for ordering the murder of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul

U.S. Intelligence agencies had just released a report that Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman was indeed the man behind the murder of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi consulate in Istanbul (which the Byzantine vampiress Theodora still insisted on calling Constantinople).

Of course U.S. intelligence agencies had not come up with the details of the report itself.

That was done by a Set Enterprises Intelligence report.

The U.S. National Security and Intelligence establishment was still obsessed with the idea that anybody to the right of center politically speaking in the U.S. was secretly a white nationalist or white supremacist and that included blacks, Asians or Latinos who were to the right of center politically speaking.

They were all secretly white nationalists or white supremacists according to the thinking processes of the rigour mortis of the brain experienced by Neo-Bolshevik Communists in the U.S. National Security and Intelligence establishment.

The idea was also echoed by brainless idiots in the mainstream Marxist media in the U.S. as well as the 752 different varieties of gender and overall freaks, nuts and weirdos who made up the Hollywood entertainment and music industries.

Set Enterprises Intelligence had got all of its information from Princess Jasmine Bella Donna.

Although that was not her real name.

She was a rebel renegade princess and member of the Saudi Royal family who was leaking information about all the intrigue and corruption going on in the Royal Court in Riyadh to Set Enterprises intelligence agent Miranda Singh.

Princess Jasmine Bella Donna: Definitely does not dress like a member of the Saudi Royal Family

A copy of the Princess Jasmine Bella Donna-Miranda Singh Report was stolen by an American C.I.A. agent who worked as a janitor at the Set Enterprises Laboratories and Rug Emporium.

The report was then passed on to the Neo-Bolshevik Communists who made up the U.S. National Security and Intellignce Establishment.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of who stole the report.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield took the janitor/C.I.A. agent on a sky jumping plane ride.

After pushing the janitor/C.I.A. agent out of the plane, Renfield shouted after him, “Oops! It looks like I accidentally put my knapsack on your back instead of an actual parachute.”

The janitor/C.I.A. agent’s career came to an abrupt and sudden end when he hit the ground.

Meanwhile the Mossad dark Deep State agent called Star of Azazel was planning to bump off Princess Jasmine Bella Donna.

Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman although a murderer, a despot and a homicidal maniac was a staunch ally of the State of Israel as far as its Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was concerned.

Netanyahu told Star of Azazel, “Do what you have to do.”

A former Mossad operative called The Controller of The Golem, who had retired last year when he found out that Star of Azazel was associated with the likes of Jeffrey Epstein, told Set Enterprises Intelligence agent Miranda Singh of the plot to kill the Saudi rebel renegade princess.

Thus Princess Jasmine Bella Donna was prepared when the Mossad operative called Sword of Ahab and Wrath of Jezebel came bursting into her room.

She took off her mask and said, “Wouldn’t you like to give me a kiss before you kill me?”.

The Mossad agent couldn’t say no and gave her a kiss.

Her lipstick (invented by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher) contained a powerful Fire Salamander poisonous venom which the way it was prepared was harmless to the lipstick wearer but instantly fatal to anyone the wearer kissed.

Sword of Ahab and Wrath of Jezebel died on the spot.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 28th
2021.

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Maria Orsic and The Turing Jukebox Computer

February 23, 2021 at 11:05 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Maria Orsic and The Turing Jukebox Computer

Two rogue agents for MI-5 (although no one in MI-5 knew they were rogue agents) informed British Prime Minister Boris Johnson that the Occult and Paranormal Research Division of Interpol was aware of his midnight meetings with zombie nosferatu that were going on in the ballroom of the newly opened Imperial Aurora Hotel in London and that it might be a good idea if he ceased these meetings for the time being.

A spy for Interpol at 10 Downing Street informed Interpol agent Peter Whitstable the head of the Occult and Paranormal Research Division of the warning from the MI-5 rogue agents which inspired messy haired Boris Johnson (who was still unaware of the invention of the comb that had taken place centuries earlier) to cancel further meetings.

Whitstable thus called an end to the Interpol sting operation at the Imperial Aurora Hotel which would have exposed the Johnson-zombie nosferatu meetings.

The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka returned to her flat in central London (she had rented a room right in the Imperial Aurora Hotel which would have allowed her close contact to the ballroom).

Dracul Van Helsing likewise returned to his flat in East London.

And Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was currently at the Set Enterprises laboratory recovering from a massive hangover having drunk the contents of 1001 bottles of Hendrik’s Gin which successfully brought him back from the dead for the 2nd time in two months.

Van Helsing was soon off another mission however.

This one with the ghost of Orson Welles.

Van Helsing and Welles were to use the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern to travel back in time to the year 1953.

Apparently Whitstable’s contacts at NASA told him that the great mathematician Alan Turing (who had developed the computing machine that cracked the Enigma Nazi Code) had in 1953 developed a computer whose purpose was to pick up signals from extraterrestrial life forms in the universe.

The computer for whatever reason was hidden inside a jukebox on a table in the office of a Chelsea cafe.

And then disappeared mysteriously just as MI-5 agents raided the cafe.

Now it was believed to be in the home of a Havana Cuba based Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike according to the visions of DARPA’s psychic lobster Van Gogh’s All Hearing Ear (who was a distant cousin of Set Enterprises’ psychic lobster Michelangelo).

When asked for his analysis, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster typing on his own waterproof laptop computer said that the Turing jukebox computer had been stolen in 1953 by the vampire Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau.

Kohler had, according to Michelangelo, time traveled from this month and this year back to 1953 to steal the Turing jukebox computer just before MI-5 agents arrived at the Chelsea cafe to take control of the machine.

The solution was to send a time traveler back in time to grab the Turing jukebox computer before Kohler could do so.

Thus Van Helsing and Welles were on their way back to that Chelsea cafe in ’53.

Arriving on the scene, Van Helsing and Welles came face to face with:

Maria Orsic and The Turing Juke Box Computer

Maria Orsic was an immortal.

She was a medium who had been head of the German Vril Society.

Van Helsing had met her on a time traveling mission before when the vampire hunter had time traveled back to Washington DC in the late 1930s.

Welles’ ghost had recalled that Van Helsing had made out with Maria Orsic on that occasion.

“So, Van Helsing,” Maria Orsic smiled at him, “I suppose you’re hear to steal the Turing Jukebox Computer before the vampire Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau arrives on the scene?”.

“I am,” Van Helsing nodded.

“But I think I better spank you first,” Maria produced a rather sturdy wooden hairbrush.

“I think you’re right,” Van Helsing started taking his clothes off.

“Not again,” Welles’ ghost moaned as he buried his ghostly head in his ghostly hands.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 23rd
2021.

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Kendra Rai Private Eye

February 20, 2021 at 11:54 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Kendra Rai Private Eye

Dashwood Forrest the owner and curator of The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London had had one of his paintings stolen from his gallery the past week.

The painting was a rare oil painting painted by Oscar Wilde.

Forrest was one of the few people in the world who knew that Wilde had painted some pictures and set out to find them through his various contacts.

This particular Wilde painting was of Alexander the Great having himself anointed and crowned Pharaoh of Egypt after having conquered Egypt in 332 BC.

On one of the pillars next to where Alexander was being crowned was an interesting set of hieroglyphs in the picture.

According to the story Forrest received, Wilde painted the picture of the hieroglyphs in conjunction with some research that writer Bram Stoker (the eventual author of Dracula and later The Jewel of Seven Stars) was doing.

Of course during the pandemic and Boris Johnson’s massive UK lockdown, The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery was not open to the public.

However Forrest had virtual exhibits of his paintings and art treasures on-line.

And appropriately socially distant private viewings could be arranged via emails with Forrest.

Last week he had shown the Oscar Wilde painting of Pharaoh Alexander the Great and the pillar of hieroglyphs on-line in a virtual exhibit.

The next night the painting was stolen.

On the advice of a friend, he hired London private investigator Kendra Rai to find it being told that she was the best private investigator in London.

London Private Investigator Kendra Rai the best private eye in London

Kendra Rai took the case immediately.

A case that would satisfy her intense intellectual curiosity and challenge her mind.

Kendra emailed a photo of the original Wilde painting of Pharaoh Alexander with the hieroglyphically inscribed pillar to an Egyptologist she knew at the British Museum wanting a translation of the hieroglyphs from him.

Kendra received an excited middle of the night phone call from the Egyptologist once he had translated them.

She was angry about being awakened in the middle of the night but once he told her the translation, she was no longer angry.

Kendra thanked the Egyptologist and put her phone down.

She now knew the reason why the painting was probably stolen.

And suspected who might be behind it.

Rogue MI-5 agents (although MI-5 was still unaware that these agents were rogue) Benedict Pence and Mike Arnold came mincing into their luxury apartment after a night on the town.

Of course they shouldn’t be on a night on the town during lockdown but both fancied that rules didn’t apply to them (God knew that certain rules laid down in Deuteronomy and Leviticus they didn’t follow).

On the wall of their apartment by the door they had a painting of Brutus and Cassius stabbing Julius Caesar to death.

On the opposite side of the room, they had a painting of Judas Iscariot getting paid his 30 pieces of silver from the Jerusalem Temple priests.

Both men as they entered noticed a bottle of champagne with two glasses in the middle of the room.

Thinking that the other had ordered it, both men took the glasses, poured themselves some champagne and had a toast.

They drank.

A light went on in a corner of the darkened room showing Kendra Rai Private Eye sitting there.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” Kendra Rai smiled at them, “I don’t bring you tidings of great joy like on a certain evening of March 13th 2013 when someone else wished the world a “Good evening”. Rather to let you know that your champagne has been poisoned. I have the antidote in my purse along with my gun. So don’t try anything rash. I will give you the antidote when you tell me where the painting you stole is. And don’t tell me what painting. I’ve had the hieroglyphs translated. I know it was probably you who took it.”

“You’re bluffing,” Pence gulped.

“Try me,” Kendra laughed, “I have nothing to lose. You do.”

“We sold it to a certain billionaire,” Arnold gulped, “We won’t mention the billionaire. He doesn’t have it yet. It’s being shipped out of the country tonight.”

“Do you know the location of where it’s being shipped from?” Kendra asked.

“We do,” Pence and Arnold both nodded at the same time.

“Come, gentlemen,” Kendra held up a vial and also pointed a gun at them, “We’re going for a ride. And you better hope we get there in time to stop that painting leaving the country.”

Kendra did get there in time.

The painting was retrieved.

An anxiously sweating Pence and Arnold were given the vial.

And Kendra Rai returned the painting to Dashwood Forrest telling him to lock the painting in his safe and to no longer display it in any exhibits virtual or otherwise.

When she told him what the hieroglyphs on the pillar in the painting said, Forrest knew the reason.

The hieroglyphs gave the formula for making a deadly plague to be released on the world capable of killing most of the planet’s population.

Kendra had an idea which global billionaire probably wanted it.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 20th
2021.

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Semiramis Recalls Harvey Tallbanger

February 18, 2021 at 11:17 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Semiramis the immortal Queen of Babylon in the back of an automobile with Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir

The lecherous old leech Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir had picked Semiramis up outside the British Houses of Parliament.

He had told the immortal Queen that he had rented the entire London Philharmonic Orchestra for her to give them their own private concert.

He had instructed the chauffeur to drive them to the Royal Albert Hall.

Of course there would be no London Philharmonic Orchestra waiting there.

Instead the “never say die” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was hoping to make out with Semiramis in one of the auditorium seats.

He had always wanted to do that with some woman.

The only trouble was there was usually always an event of some sort at the Royal Albert Hall.

However these times of Covid had put an end to such events.

And Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was hoping to take advantage of this opportunity.

As Lord Frolic’s car drove through the streets of London, they passed by the ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill.

“Rita,” Orson’s ghost called out for Semiramis looked very much like Orson’s late ex-wife Rita Hayworth.

“I do believe,” Churchill was smoking a spectral cigar, “that is Semiramis the immortal Queen of Babylon although the resemblance she bears to your ex-wife is quite remarkable. I met Semiramis once at the Tehran Conference in 1943. I remember she kicked Josef Stalin in the testicles when he got too fresh with her. Which made our talk (Churchill’s, Roosevelt’s and Stalin’s) of opening up a second front against Germany by June 1944 all the more amusing.”

The car continued to drive down the street leaving Welles looking mournful and Churchill looking reflective.

The car then stopped at a traffic light at an intersection where British Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab was standing likewise waiting for the light to change.

This past Sunday Raab had said that the British government should consider having UK citizens carry vaccine passports in order to enter such places as supermarkets.

As he stood there, a cream pie was thrown in his face by a seemingly invisible entity.

Meanwhile inside the car:

Semiramis (looking thoughtful): I have the feeling I’ve seen that rabbit somewhere before.

Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was somewhat startled by this assertion, “You see a rabbit out there?”.

“Yes,” Semiramis nodded, “a 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.”

“Really?” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was starting to wonder whether his date for this evening was clinically insane, “And when did you last see him?”.

“Several thousand years ago when my husband Nimrod first proposed building the Tower of Babel,” Semiramis recalled, “That rabbit threw a cream pie in Nimrod’s face.”

“Cream pies have been around that long?” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was surprised.

“Yes, for as long as that rabbit has,” Semiramis nodded.

. . .

The little green frog Nimrod (who had been the Biblical Nimrod- “the mighty hunter against the Lord” – way back in the day) was sitting on a patient’s couch in the office of London psychiatrist Dr. Morgana Jones.

Nimrod had been turned into a little green frog some years ago when a kiss from the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith went awry.

“So, Mr. Nimrod,” Dr. Morgana Jones, with pen and notepad in hand, addressed the frog, “How long have you been afraid of cream pies?”.

“For several thousand years now,” Nimrod answered, “Ever since a very tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears threw a cream pie in my face after I proposed building a tower that could reach the heavens.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 18th
2021.

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