Inn Lu: International Man of Mystery

November 25, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Politics, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Inn Lu: International Man of Mystery

Recently a man claiming to be a intelligence agent for Communist China’s Ministry of State Security had gone to Australia and defected to ASIO (the Australian Security Intelligence Organization).

The man was given the code name Wang Ho (and claimed to have an explosive treasure trove of intelligence information including how Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pet pot smoking cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever was brutally murdered by Chinese State Security operatives in a re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of western China.
And how a portion of Strawberry Fields Forever’s body was given to paramount leader Xi Jinping’s personal gardener for examination, experimentation and analysis).

Wang Ho was kept for safe keeping in a safe house owned and operated by Mr. Inn Lu one of Sydney’s most mysterious and elusive businessmen.

The reason Wang Ho was given to Mr. Inn Lu was because many ASIO operatives were said to have a serious drinking problem and couldn’t be trusted to keep Wang Ho alive and safe while they were in the process of sleeping off their hangovers.

Not much was known about Inn Lu who was described by the Sydney Morning Herald as “mysterious and inscrutable” in 1931 (for their centennial edition).

If ASIO operatives (and most people in the Australian government) had been sober, they might have asked themselves why Inn Lu had never aged a day from the way he looked in that Sydney Morning Herald photograph from almost 90 years ago.

All that was known about Inn Lu was that he was a staunch anti-Communist and therefore could be trusted to keep the PRC Ministry of State Security defector alive.

Trouble was brewing for both Inn Lu and Wang Ho however in that Donald Trump had sent to Australia a U.S. ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) agent named Eichmann Himmler who was to give ASIO operatives advice on how to deal with illegal immigrants.

Eichmann Himmler was the ICE agent responsible for setting up detention facilities for immigrants along the U.S.-Mexico border.

Locking fathers behind bars at one facility.

Locking mothers behind bars at another facility.

And locking children and babies behind bars at yet another facility.

Eichmann Himmler did not get off to a good start with ASIO operatives as he walked in on them halfway through their lunch hour (when almost all of them were currently working on their 30th bottle of beer).

The first thing Eichmann Himmler did was go after koala bears saying “These creatures are so damned cute, they’re obviously up to something.”

Every koala bear that Eichmann Himmler asked for their identification papers did not have them.

Thus father koalas were thrown into one facility.

Mother koalas were thrown into another facility.

And baby koalas were thrown into yet another.

“After all,” Eichmann Himmler lectured the snoozing in an alcoholic haze ASIO operatives, “how do we know these koala bears are resident Australians? How do we know they didn’t come from somewhere else?”.

Eichmann Himmler did the same with Eucalyptus trees (he became suspicious of the plant when they seemed to be the main diet of the koala bears).

He locked up Eucalyptus trees all over the nation of Australia bringing in botanists from all over the U.S. to determine the tree’s gender and age and then lock them up in the appropriate facility.

“After all,” Eichmann Himmler lectured the still snoozing in an alcoholic haze ASIO operatives, “how do we know these Eucalyptus trees are resident Australians? How do we know they didn’t come from somewhere else?”.

This was the sort of brilliant and profound mind that ICE agent Eichmann Himmler had.

The bet was on in Washington DC that the next time Trump fired a National Security Council head in one of his Twitter tweets, that it would probably be Eichmann Himmler who would be the next NSC head.

Now Eichmann Himmler took it upon himself to investigate the mysterious Mr. Inn Lu whom ASIO had handed PRC defector Wang Ho to for safekeeping.

“After all,” Eichmann Himmler told the room now empty of ASIO operatives since Happy Hour had now begun in all the Australian bars and lounges, “how do we know Mr. Inn Lu isn’t an illegal immigrant? After all, he’s Asian isn’t he? And we all know the United Kingdom that founded this great country is closer to Australia than Asia is.”

As Donald Trump in Washington DC fired off a tweet praising the intelligence and profound geographic knowledge of one ICE agent Eichmann Himmler, Himmler, after receiving a fax from DARPA, set off to confront Inn Lu.

In the Shangri-La Gardens Hotel (owned by Inn Lu) in downtown Sydney, Eichmann Himmler confronted the mysterious and reclusive businessman.

“I know who you are, Inn Lu,” Himmler said.

“Do you now?” Inn Lu’s eyes twinkled behind his spectacles.

“Yes, DARPA turned to Britain’s Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster for information about your background,” Eichmann Himmler wagged his finger at him, “you were apparently an important scientist, inventor and court official in the palace court of one of the Ming Emperors. While you were doing mathematical calculations about how to change the time-space continuum, the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland was doing the exact same calculations in our own time. This created a time warp. You were sent to Australia in the year 1900 from the palace court in Ming Dynasty Beijing you were at. You also discovered a potion of immortality that you brought with you from that Ming Dynasty court. You have lived in Australia for over 119 years now but you never bothered to get citizenship. You have also been involved in espionage to get today’s descendants of the Ming Emperors to power in China. Hence the reason for your strong anti-Communism. I’m here to see you deported and sent back to China where you belong.”

“You’ve caught me, Comrade Eichmann,” Inn Lu smiled, “but you look rather hot. Why don’t you take a refreshing dip in our hotel pool? Plenty of time to deport me later.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Eichmann Himmler took off his clothes and jumped in.

One of the hotel maintenance staff said to Mr. Inn Lu, “Mr. Lu, isn’t this the hour that the Sydney Crocodile Club rents the pool to give their crocodiles a home away from home?”.

“It is,” Mr. Inn Lu smiled, “I regret I forgot to tell Comrade Eichmann Himmler.”

“I want to see your identity papers,” Eichmann Himmler screamed at one of the crocodiles just before it bit his head off.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 25th 
2019.

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Sherrielock Holmes On All Saints Day

November 1, 2019 at 10:33 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes On All Saints’ Day

From left to right- Estella, her husband British MP Samuel Poundsworth and Sherrielock Holmes (the lesser known but immortal twin sister of Sherlock Holmes)

“It is what it is,” Sherrielock Holmes remarked to British MP Samuel Poundsworth and his wife Estella.

Sherrielock was visiting the Poundsworth estate in northern England on this November 1st in 1936.

MP Winston Churchill was also a guest.

Earlier that evening, the four had attended an All Saints Day service at a church not far from the Poundsworth Estate.

After the service, as the four walked back to the estate, Churchill had remarked, “I don’t know if Germany’s Fuhrer Adolf Hitler is THE Antichrist but he’ll be as close to the Antichrist as you can get in our times.”

Poundsworth and his wife said nothing.

They had encountered Churchill’s rants about Hitler many times before.

In fact the entire British Conservative Party caucus under Stanley Baldwin was getting very sick of Winnie’s constant harping on the subject.

Sherrielock said nothing either but secretly she agreed with Churchill’s assessment on the subject.

That night Poundsworth and his wife heard a commotion coming from one of the guest bedrooms- Sherrielock’s room.

They entered and saw Winnie putting his dressing robe on.

He hurried across the hall to his own room, grabbed an easel, a canvas, his paints, a small chair and a very very extra comfortable cushion and announced he was going outside to do some nighttime painting.

Estella and Samuel looked at Sherrielock.

Sherrielock smiled and said, “It is what it is.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 1st
2019.

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70th Anniversary of People’s Republic of China and Mei-ling Manchu Becoming A Vampiress

October 1, 2019 at 10:25 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

70th Anniversary of The People’s Republic of China and Mei-ling Manchu Becoming A Vampiress

0ctober 1st 2019.

Beijing.

The 70th Anniversary of the People’s Republic of China.

It was 70 years ago today that the Communist forces under Mao Tse-tung took control of most of mainland China while Chiang Kai-shek and his Kuomintang Nationalist forces fled to the island of Taiwan.

Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping marked the 70th anniversary by parading China’s latest military hardware through the streets of Beijing.

The latest missiles, warheads, drones and tanks passed by Xi’s viewing stand as he and his supernatural entity advisor the Black Dragon applauded vigorously.

In Taiwan rather ominously, a bridge collapsed in a major harbour trapping a fishing boat and overturning an oil tanker.

Hong Kong celebrated the 70th Anniversary of Communist rule in China by Hong Kong police shooting its first protestor with a live round ammunition bullet.

. . .

The 70th Anniversary of the Chinese Communist takeover was the last thing on Pope Francis’ mind at the Vatican as he sat at his desk and began the final preparations for this month’s Pan-Amazonia synod.

Last year he had sold out the members of China’s underground Catholic Church by entering into a treaty with the Beijing government that had been negotiated on the Vatican’s behalf by the predatory homosexual prelate the then Cardinal Theodore McCarrick.

Back in February of this year, Pope Francis had been forced to laicize Theodore McCarrick after he had been caught and exposed for his numerous crimes and misdemeanours.

A knock was heard on the door of Francis’ room.

It was the Zeus worshipping cardinal known as JM (which was the cardinal’s code name as head of the Vatican Secret Intelligence Service) inviting Pope Francis to receive a blessing from Amazon indigenous sha-men and sha-women who were assembled in the papal chapel.

. . .

Melania Trump was startled when she saw the ghostly figure of Abraham Lincoln standing before her in the corridor.

Tears were falling down Lincoln’s cheeks.

Meanwhile in the Oval Office, Melania’s husband Donald was busy tweeting about how civil war would break out in the U.S. should he the Donald be impeached.

. . .

This date of October 1st 2019 also marked 70 years since Mei-ling Manchu (who was a leading operative for the Chinese Ministry of State Security aka MSS) had become a vampiress.

Mei-ling (who had sided with Mao’s Communists against Chiang’s Nationalists during the Chinese Civil War of 1945-49) had marked the victory of the Chinese Communist forces on October 1st 1949 by allowing herself to be bitten by a vampire and turned into a vampiress as she stood on the balcony of Beijing’s Old Imperial Palace with victory celebration fireworks going off in the background.

Mei-ling Manchu: celebrating 70 years as a vampiress today.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 1st 
2019.

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80th Anniversary of Nazi Germany’s Invasion of Poland

September 1, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

80th Anniversary of Nazi Germany’s Invasion of Poland

Eighty years ago today at dawn on the morning of September 1st 1939, the German Luftwaffe (Air Force) bombed the Polish city of Wielun a town with no military significance whatsoever. Its sole purpose was to sow terror among Poland’s civilian population. Thousands of people died in the bombings.

At the same time in the Polish coastal city of Gdansk, Nazi German battleships attacked the Polish military base of Westerplatte in that city.

In Warsaw at the same time, a group of men in black who were Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau and some of his associates had raided the palatial estate of the Polish vampiress Countess Elena Dubrovna and were looking for her coffin hoping to take her back to Berlin where Heinrich Himmler and Der Fuhrer might make use of her.

They couldn’t find her.

. . .

On January 25th 1938, Heinrich Himmler the head of the SS had given the order for 12 SS officers to perform the ultimate sacrifice for the Fatherland.

They were to allow themselves to be beheaded and their heads would be kept alive in laboratories.

Their heads and minds would concentrate on developing their psychic powers and try to reach a level where they would be able to communicate with the Ascended Masters of the Himalayas who were the progenitors of the Aryan race according to Nazi SS teaching.

On February 14th 1938, the 12 SS officers were finally selected and they were subsequently beheaded after a night of tantric sex with the most luscious and lovely Aryan maidens.

On Lammas Night August 1st 1939, the 12 heads were overshadowed by the Ascended Masters who told Himmler that now was the time to invade Poland.

Himmler communicated the message to Der Fuhrer.

Arrangements were made for a non-aggression pact to be signed with the Soviet Union on August 23rd 1939.

On September 1st 1939, Poland was invaded by the forces of the Third Reich.

World War II had officially begun.

. . .

In London, England on September 1st 2019, an official of Germany’s Federal Intelligence Service (BND) was meeting with an official of Russia’s Foreign Intelligence Service (SVR).

Said a shocked Comrade Stroganoff to a smiling Herr Hanover, “You mean those 12 SS heads are still alive today?”.

“They are,” Herr Hanover nodded.

“Where are they?” Comrade Stroganoff asked.

“Attached to tubes and wires and bubbling away on Jeffrey Epstein’s Zorro Ranch in New Mexico,” Herr Hanover downed a shooter called Doctor Frankenstein.

“On Jeffrey Epstein’s Zorro Ranch?” Comrade Stroganoff was flabbergasted, “What was a person of Jewish ancestry doing with the living disembodied heads of 12 SS officers who were beheaded way back in 1938?”.

“You might as well ask what was a person of Jewish ancestry like Jeffrey Epstein doing utilizing a eugenics breeding program to create a master race on his Zorro Ranch? Similar to a eugenics breeding program envisioned by the likes of SS leader Heinrich Himmler?” Herr Hanover shrugged, “The guy was a nut case as well as a pervert.”

“Do the Americans know about the 12 SS officers’ living disembodied heads on Epstein’s Zorro Ranch?” Stroganoff asked.

“No,” Herr Hanover shook his head, “Otherwise the place would have been raided now by American authorities. Girls being raped by perverts and pedophiles isn’t enough to send the FBI crawling over the ranch with a fine tooth comb. But if a source of esoteric power capable of communicating with higher beings in another dimension was known to be on the ranch, all manner of U.S. government agencies would be falling over one another trying to find the heads.”

“So it’s agreed then that Germany and Russia will share the heads after our joint forces clandestinely raid the ranch?” Said Stroganoff.

“Ja,” Hanover answered in the German affirmative, “Six for us. And six for you.”

Former DARPA contract assassiness Panty Goatee watched the two intelligence officers sitting in their outdoor cafe sidewalk chairs from nearby stairs.

She reached under her skirt, pulled out a gun that sat just above her pantyhose line and shot both intelligence operatives dead.

She then met with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a nearby cocktail lounge where she related what she had overheard.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Sunday September 1st
2019.

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Crybaby Bolsonaro Demands An Apology

August 27, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Crybaby Bolsonaro Demands An Apology

“I see short lived Trump White House advisor Steve Bannon is releasing a film next month that he made called Claws of The Red Dragon that he claims highlights the relationship between Huawei Technologies Co. Ltd. and the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) and the People’s Liberation Army (PLA),” Amadeus remarked while eating sweet and sour spare ribs.

“Yes, I wonder why Bannon made such a film,” Renfield ate his pork fried rice, “Perhaps he was pressured to make it because he didn’t want certain embarrassing public details released about him.”

“What details would those be?” Amadeus munched on his egg rolls.

“He apparently visited Jeffrey Epstein’s Manhattan mansion on several occasions,” Renfield started eating his sweet and sour shrimp balls, “and today the Washington Examiner newspaper reported that the notorious child predator George Nader visited Bannon in the White House at least 13 times during the 7 months that Bannon served as White House Chief Strategist.”

“You mean Bannon might have…” Amadeus stopped eating.

Renfield took a shot of whisky, “If my theory about Epstein being a Mossad operative is correct and Epstein used his sex trafficking operation not only to make money and satisfy his own sexual perversions but also used that operation to blackmail and extort members of the U.S. and world elites into giving political support to Israel, then we must remember that the Israelis and the Chinese are the world’s 2 major rivals when it comes to developing 5G networks. The U.S. has been fast asleep in research and development when it comes to 5G. The Israelis have been working on it since 2008 and have become way ahead of everybody else. They’ve been doing it quietly and with very little fanfare. Benjamin Netanyahu only started openly boasting about it this year. That’s why Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman (whom I’ve nicknamed Mohammad bone Sawman ever since the Khashoggi incident at the Saudi consultate in Istanbul last year) has sold the Palestinians down River (or down the desert sands) in order to hitch himself to the Israeli high tech wagon. His planned autonomous high tech city state enclave that he’s planning in the Tabuk Province of 
northwestern Saudi Arabia that he’s named NEOM will need Israel’s advanced science and technology to get off the ground. The only one who’s come close to the Israelis in developing 5G technology are the Chinese and Huawei. Thus it’s very suspicious that Bannon decides to make a film casting the Chinese and Huawei in a very bad light especially for someone known to have visited Epstein’s Manhattan mansion. The choice the world faces when it comes to adopting 5G technology is do they want the Israelis or the Chinese to spy on them? Of course we know Donald Trump’s answer. Because a right wing libertarian political commentator in a tweet told him so, Trump thinks he’s regarded by many Israeli Jews as the new King of Israel and the Second Coming of God. So of course Trump would prefer Israel rather than China to spy on the world. And that’s why Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou is being held in Vancouver British Columbia because King Trump’s State Department told the Canadians so. And as we know Dracul Van Helsing is not the Prime Minister of Canada to tell the U.S. State Department to stick it where the sun don’t shine.”

. . .

Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro was sitting in his high chair in the Brazilian Presidential Palace wearing a bib around his neck.

On his high chair tray directly in front of him was a baby soother that had been personally autographed for him by fellow infantile brat Donald J. Trump.

As Balsonaro threw his knife and fork across the room, he bawled, “I’m not going to accept $22 million in aid and assistance from the G-7 to help fight the Amazon rainforest fires unless French President Emmanuel Macron apologizes to me for personally insulting me. So there! Waaaaah!”.

. . .

 
11-year-old Sherrielock Rocher (the 2nd eldest daughter of Set Enterprises’ Chief Scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher) was telling her mother what she wanted for Christmas (even though that was 4 months away), “I want a Barbie and a GI Joe for Christmas.”

“But,” her mother asked, “Doesn’t Barbie come with Ken?”.

“No,” young Sherrielock Rocher shook her head with clear determination, “she fakes it with Ken. She comes with GI Joe.”

“Cadbury,” Mrs. Rocher looked at her husband, “I think Sherry should cut down the amount of time she spends on the Internet.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher agreed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 27th
2019.

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Sherrielock Holmes Encounters A Mad Monk

August 13, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes Encounters A Mad Monk

Sherrielock Holmes

World-famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes had been summoned to the office of British Prime Minister David Lloyd George on the advice of Winston Churchill.

She was to undertake an important mission to Russia on behalf of the British Empire and the British Intelligence Service.

She was flown to Russia by aeroplane flown by her husband Dr. Louis Rocher.

She arrived in Saint Petersburg and set out for Moika Palace the home of Prince Felix Yusupov.

There she would deal with a man whom British Intelligence considered a major threat to both the Russian Empire and the Entente War effort against Imperial Germany, the Ottoman Empire and the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

However she was late getting to Moika Palace because she found herself being accosted by a horny American diplomat from the U.S. Embassy in Saint Petersburg.

The horny leech’s name was McDonald Grump and he had been a crooked real estate salesman and property developer in New York City as well as a notorious bully and racist.

Sherrielock tried to be as polite as she could but the horny leech would not take no for an answer.

Finally she kicked Grump in the balls and left him on the street.

“I plan to send a nasty telegram in 140 words or less about this,” Grump called out.

“Frankly, I don’t give a tweet,” Sherrielock answered as she continued to walk down the street without looking back.

“But I do,” Grump snivelled, “and I’ll have you know that someone like me will probably become President of the United States someday.”

“Probably not for another 100 years,” Sherrielock continued to walk down the street in the early morning hours of December 30th (December 17th on the old Julian calendar) 1916.

When she arrived at the home of Prince Felix Yusupov, she thought she had arrived too late to help eliminate the Russian Czarist government’s problem.

The problem individual had been offered cyanide cakes and tea by the prince.

The “problem” ate the cakes and drank the tea.

Then the “problem” man asked for Madeira wine which had also been poisoned.

He drank 3 glasses but still showed no sign of distress.

Around 2:30 AM, Yusopov went upstairs, returned with a pistol and shot the “problem” in the chest.

The “problem” fell to the floor.

Yusupov left and returned later to dispose of the body.

The “problem” rose up and attacked him.

He then ran out to the palace courtyard where the “problem” was shot twice by one of Yusupov’s co-conspirators.

The problem collapsed into a snow bank.

The prince and his co-conspirators wrapped the problem up in a blanket, drove to the Petrovsky Bridge and dropped the body in the Malaya Nevka River.

Sherrielock by some sort of instinct decided to take a walk along the Malaya Nevka River.

A good thing she did because at one point the “problem” man got up out of the ice bound river and attacked her.


Sherrielock Holmes about to be attacked.

Sherrielock used her scorpion poisoned laced pink fingernail polished fingernails to scratch the man’s arms.

He fell to the ground.

She pulled the man’s pants down and proceeded to tomato his buttocks with her Lingzhi Supernatural mushroom laced and English malt vinegar laced cat o’ nine tails whip.

The man finally gave up the ghost after crying, “My butt hurts.”

Sherrielock then picked up the body of the “mad monk” Grigori Rasputin and threw it back into the River.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 13th
2019.

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The Mysterious Death of Jeffrey Epstein

August 10, 2019 at 10:51 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

The Mysterious Death of Jeffrey Epstein

The Mossad operative who went by the code name Star of Azazel sat in his office in Jerusalem.

He was the most feared Mossad operative of them all.

Another Mossad operative by the name of the Controller of The Golem would have nothing to do with him.

Because he thought Star of Azazel’s intelligence operations went totally beyond the pale.

For the past month, the thing that worried Star of Azazel the most had been the recent arrest of Jeffrey Epstein this past July 6th.

Epstein’s operation had been the most daring of all Star of Azazel’s intelligence feats.

And it was because of men like Epstein that the Controller of the Golem wanted nothing to do with Star of Azazel’s intelligence operations.

Star of Azazel first felt heat over Epstein when the financier was arrested and charged with sex trafficking of minors in Florida back in 2008.

However due to behind the scenes shenanigans on the part of Star of Azazel, he was able to get Epstein a very lenient plea bargain deal.

Now had come Epstein’s most recent arrest in New York where he was facing new charges of paying girls under 18 to perform sex acts at his Florida and Manhattan mansions.

And yesterday had come the most damaging news of all for Star of Azazel.

Hundreds of pages of court documents that revealed new allegations against Epstein and some of his associates had been released.

These new allegations could possibly blow open the most successful intelligence operation he had ever masterminded.

How Epstein’s sex trafficking operation had ensnared some of America’s most powerful politicians, financiers, media figures and religious leaders into giving their whole hearted support to the State of Israel.

People often wondered how it was that both parties in the U.S. – Democrat and Republican- seemed to be united on one issue- overwhelming support for the State of Israel even on those occasions when Israel was blatantly doing things that clearly violated international law.

The answer of course was Mossad operative Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking operation and all the incriminating photos and videos on leading U.S. figures that Star of Azazel could use for purposes of blackmail and extortion.

Since 2016, people in America had been deeply concerned about Russian collusion with Trump.

Oblivious to the American political establishment’s collusion with the dark side of the Israeli deep state that had been going on for almost 40 years at least as far as Epstein’s operation was concerned.

It had actually been going on for over 50 years starting with Lyndon Baines Johnson’s cover-up of Israeli involvement in the sinking of the U.S.S. Liberty back in 1967.

And now the release of these documents yesterday might start people digging into other matters which could potentially expose his (Star of Azazel’s) Mossad intelligence operation that allowed the pervert Epstein free rein for his proclivities as long as he ensnared leading American establishment figures in Mossad’s net.

One thing was apparent for Star of Azazel (who believed in the concept of a Greater Israel that stretched from the Nile to the Euphrates River as well as the building of a Third Temple on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem).

Jeffrey Epstein would have to die.

And soon.

Star of Azazel reached for his phone.

This morning at 6:30 AM local time (10:30 GMT) Jeffrey Epstein was found dead in his cell at a prison facility in New York.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 10th 
2019.

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Harvey Tallbanger and Daniel Craig

April 26, 2019 at 10:29 pm (Espionage, Film, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Movies, Mythology, News, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

After his successful spying mission at the Vladivostok Summit between Vladimir Putin and King Jong-un, the 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger returned to London.

He went to the Hare and Hound Pub.

Standing inside the doorway of the Hare and Hound Pub was the stuffed original Hound of The Baskervilles who had been found a few years ago.

“I see the hound but where’s the hare?” Harvey Tallbanger asked as he sat up at the bar.

“You know, I’m sick of people asking me that…” the pubkeeper looked up from behind the bar and stopped, “Say, who’s there?”.

“Harvey Tallbanger,” the 6 foot 8 bunny rabbit replied, “I’m invisible. But I do have money to pay.”

The rabbit brought visible British £ currency out of his invisible blue denim coveralls.

“Oh God, I’ve gone insane!” The pubkeeper said.

“No, you haven’t,” Harvey flashed his most attractive invisible smile, “if you were, you’d be in the Oval Office right now with one hand smoothing down your ridiculous looking toupee and your other hand with its finger on the nuclear button when it isn’t busy tweeting on Twitter.”

“What will you have, my invisible friend?” The pubkeeper asked.

“A Tequila Sunrise, please,” the pooka answered.

The pubkeeper made a tequila sunrise and handed it to the tall bunny rabbit.

Actor Daniel Craig and actress Naomie Harris entered the pub.

“Oh, wow, James Bond and Miss Moneypenny!” Harvey exclaimed, “My hero and my heroine!”.

“Who was that?” The acting duo asked at the same time.

“Don’t mind him,” the pubkeeper answered, “He’s invisible.”

Bond and Miss Moneypenny (as Harvey thought of them) both ordered pints of the local draft.

“What?” Harvey was incredulous, “No martini shaken not stirred?”.

“That’s only in the movies,” Daniel Craig answered.

“How disappointing fiction is from reality,” Harvey remarked as he sat next to the poster of Claude Rains as The Invisible Man.

“Isn’t there any way people can see you?” Naomie Harris asked.

“My creator Dr. Cadbury Rocher informs me that if people drink a Harvey Wallbanger, they can see me,” the pooka replied.

“What’s in a Harvey Wallbanger?” Craig asked.

“1 1/2 ounces of vodka, 3 ounces of orange juice and half an ounce of Galliano,” Harvey replied.

“I should try making one of those,” the pubkeeper remarked and proceeded to do just that.

“So after Bond 25, you’ll be sailing off into the 007 sunset,” Harvey said over his sunrise.

“I will indeed,” Craig admitted.

“Howdy, Bartender,” a man with a Texas drawl entered the pub.

“Oh no,” the pubkeeper shook his head, “The idiot who keeps asking me the same question day after day.”

“Say, bartender,” the Texan pointed towards the stuffed Hound of The Baskervilles, “for a place called The Hare and Hound, I can see the hound but where’s the hare?”.

“Try one of these,” the pubkeeper placed a Harvey Wallbanger in front of the Texan.

The Texan took a few sips of the Wallbanger and then pointed at Harvey sitting on the other side of the bar, “It’s the hare. It’s the hare.”

“What?” Daniel Craig and Naomie Harris both looked in the direction of the invisible entity.

“It’s my shiny locks,” the bunny rabbit flashed an invisible grin to Daniel Craig, Naomie Harris and the pubkeeper, “and all because I use Johnson’s Baby Shampoo.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 26th
2019.


Miss Moneypenny had many adventures in life and someday she’d meet an invisible bunny rabbit.

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Panty Goatee Slays ISI Bigshot While Sherrielock Holmes and Fenrir Meet King Edward VII

February 17, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was enjoying a High Tea of Chai tea and cucumber and creamed cheese sandwiches with his friend the concert pianist Amadeus Emanon and the concert pianist’s girlfriend the New Orleans vampiress songstress Angelique Dumont.

They were sitting in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London Mansion.

“So what did the Indian and Iranian governments contact you about yesterday?” Amadeus asked as he helped himself to a dozen cucumber and creamed cheese sandwiches.

Renfield thought he was wise to ask Athelstan the butler to make 200 of those sandwiches.

“Well, the Indian government suspects the Pakistani ISI was behind the suicide bomb attack that killed 44 Indian paramilitary policemen in Kashmir this past Thursday and Iran blames the ISI for the deaths of 27 Revolutionary Guards earlier this week,” Renfield explained as he sipped his tea, “so they asked me to use my contacts to do something about it.”

Meanwhile over in Pakistan, the assistant deputy head of the ISI was off on his morning jog.

Suddenly this vision greeted him:

DARPA cotract assassiness Panty Goatee

“Excuse me, Miss,” the ISI bigshot jogged over to her with a very tiny little miniscule bulge in his jogging pants, “but that t-shirt mini dress you’re wearing is very blasphemous not to mention that your attire in general is very un-Islamic. So I’m going to have to take you in for questioning and (ahem!) other things as well.”

Panty pulled a gun out from underneath her dress and shot the man.

“Ah shit,” the man said as he fell backwards on to the ground.

“I thought you people were supposed to say Allah akbar before you die,” Panty smiled as she slit the man’s throat with a knife she pulled out from under her dress.

. . .


Serena the time traveller and magician’s assistant to Thoth the Egyptian god of time and recordkeeping looked down at Dracul Van Helsing from her wall of clocks.

“What are you looking at?” Serena asked.

“Well,” said Dracul, “it was 100 years ago today on February 17th 1919 that former Canadian Prime Minister Sir Wilfred Laurier died. It’s hard to believe that there was ever an honest Federal Liberal politician from Quebec but they still made them as late as Sir Wilfred Laurier.”

. . .

The year was 1907.

And England’s King Edward VII was walking down the street looking for a piece of tail to satisfy his lecherous royal appetite.

Suddenly he spotted Miss Sherrielock Holmes.

“Ah, there’s the delightful twin sister of consulting detective Sherlock Holmes,” Edward VII stroked his beard.

He walked in her direction.

When suddenly there emerged from behind her dress the Norse wolf Fenrir.

“Good Lord, look at the size of that hound,” Edward VII clutched on to his silver wolf’s head walking stick and turned the other direction, “I’ll have to talk to Sherrielock some other day.”

. . .

“Who was that who text messaged you?” Amadeus asked as he was on his 99th cucumber and creamed cheese sandwich.

“Countess Draculina,” Renfield answered, “She fears that her father Count Dracula has been kidnapped by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith for some nefarious purpose so she’s coming over to talk to me.”

The doorbell rang.

Renfield went to answer it.

There at the door stood Countess Draculina.

“Good God!” Renfield exclaimed.

“What’s the matter?” Amadeus asked.

“I’ve got an enormous erection,” Renfield answered.

“You always were one to boast about that,” Angelique remarked.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 17th
2019.

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Saint Valentine’s Day 2019

February 14, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had come up with yet another plan to bump off Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro.

He had co-ordinated the plan with the ghosts of Orson Welles and Sir Winston Churchill along with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Before explaining the plan to Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield pointed out the dangers of getting Maduro out of office with the help of a U.S. invasion of Venezuela or an American planned overthrow.

“As we know both being acute students of history,” Renfield explained, “America’s unique talent and gift to the world is its ability to make a country worse off than it was when it lived under a brutal dictator. This actually is a unique bit of creativity unsurpassed in the history of human stupidity. That disaster we call George W. Bush (aided and abetted by that disaster Tony Blair – an Englishman who fancied himself a French poodle to a former Texas governor) invaded Iraq to topple Saddam and succeeded in that but then plunged the country into years of sectarian violence and bloodshed that continues today. Those disasters we call Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton thought they could get Syria’s Bashar al-Assad out of power by encouraging the Syrian people and part of the Syrian Armed Forces to rise up in revolt against Assad. The result has been 8 years of bloody civil war which is still ongoing, Assad is still in power and if Vladimir Putin and the Iranians hadn’t intervened, large portions of Syria would still be under the control of the ISIS Islamic State. And then of course that disaster we call Bill Clinton ordering the NATO bombing of Serbia from March 24th 1999 to June 10th 1999 helped pave the way for Vladimir Putin to come to power in Russia. Then Russian President Boris Yeltsin was so upset by the way Bill “He couldn’t keep it in his pants” Clinton treated Russia’s long standing ally Serbia that Yeltsin spent the entire spring and summer of 1999 hiring and firing new Prime Ministers until Yeltsin finally decided on Putin as his Prime Minister in August 1999 and then named Putin his successor as President on December 31st 1999. So Bill in effect screwed his wife Hillary twice. Once when they had Chelsea and secondly when he bombed Serbia thus paving the way for Putin to take power in Russia which if we are to believe the whining and sniveling of the New York Times, The Washington Post and the Deep State within the U.S. government is the man ultimately responsible for Hillary’s defeat in 2016.”

“Karma’s returning to bite one in the ass always happens eventually,” Van Helsing acknowledged.

“So you see how it’s absolutely vital that a British Transhumanist MP such as myself working in concert with the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill and Orson Welles do something to get Maduro out of power before the Americans try anything stupid,” Renfield pointed out.

“Time is indeed of the essence,” Dracul looked at his Latin numerals sundial wristwatch until he remembered it didn’t work indoors.

“So I want you to go over to the gymnasium at the Set Enterprises Laboratories and Rug Emporium Building and start to set things in motion with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and by set things in motion,” Renfield admonished, “I don’t mean tantric sex with her.”

“Damn,” Dracul swore.

. . .

“So Lexington,” Donald Trump addressed his British butler and valet, “I gave Nancy Pelosi a Valentine’s Day present this year.

“That’s very kind of you, sir,” Lexington took off the Donald’s jacket.

“As you know today is the 90th Anniversary of Al Capone giving a Valentine’s Day present to Bugs Moran in a garage and warehouse in Chicago so I thought I’d do the same for Nancy,” Trump smiled.

Earlier that evening a group of Democratic Party supporters had gathered to sacrifice a new born baby to Baal/Moloch at a garage and warehouse in Washington DC.

Despite the best efforts of the hospital to ensure the baby wouldn’t survive birth, the baby managed to survive.

It was a health care debacle that would have provided existential angst to the likes of New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo and Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam.

Double angst for Gov. Northam as the baby was an Afro-American.

Although probably double angst for Gov. Cuomo as well but since northern white liberals do a much better job at hiding their racism than their southern white liberal counterparts, you wouldn’t have noticed the look of disappointment on the face of Mario’s son.

The baby was smuggled into the ceremony by a large “reproductive health” (as they euphemistically call themselves) provider to be sacrificed to Baal/Moloch for this evening’s ritual.

Outside the warehouse a group of Mammon and Mephistopheles worshipping Republicans (all members of the National Rife Association and vitriolic opponents of a nationally publicly funded single pay user health care system) stood ready to burst in on the pro-infanticide Baal and Baphomet worshipping Party of Death Democrats.

The signal was given.

And the NRA members went in with guns ablazing.

Soon all the Party of Death Democrats were dead.

Santa Muerte who had been at the ceremony eating enchiladas looked sad.

Miraculously the baby girl (who was to be sacrificed) managed to survive.

She was found by a traditionalist Catholic nun who had been walking in the neighbourhood.

Earlier in the day, the nun had been personally excommunicated by Pope Francis.

Now like George Eliot’s Silas Marner, she had found true gold.

. . .

On his way to the warehouse gymnasium at Set Enterprises, Dracul Van Helsing passed Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was crawling on his way towards Sherrielock Holmes’ office and carrying a large bouquet of roses in his lobster claws.

Dracul entered the gym and there saw Qonzilqointec:

And within minutes the gym was heating up with steam from the Valentine’s Day tantric sex between vampire hunter and vampire princess.

. . .

Amadeus Emanon was attending a Saint Valentine’s Night Evening Prayer service at Saint Genevieve’s Church- the Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish that he attended.

Delivering a short homily at the service was the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds who was one of the Church of England’s leading exorcists.

“Saint Valentine,” Father Aidan noted, “was a Catholic priest who lived and worked in Rome in an age of severe persecutions. The Emperor Claudius II had ordered that Roman soldiers should not be allowed to marry so they could concentrate on war without a double mind. For that reason, the soldiers began living promiscuous lives. Saint Valentine ordered soldiers in his congregation to marry and he began wedding them secretly. For that reason, he was caught, imprisoned and executed on the 14th of February 270 AD.”

“Wow,” Amadeus thought to himself as he reached stealthily into his pocket to grab and eat a stick of licorice, “So there was no Cupid with bow and arrow in the original Saint Valentine story.”


Betty Grable as a female Cupid in a photo taken back in the 1940s.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 14th
2019

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