Orson Welles’ Original Fake News Broadcast 80 Years Ago Today
80 years ago today, the great Orson Welles and the Mercury Theatre On The Air presented a radio play adaptation of H.G. Welles’ 1897 science-fiction novel The War of The Worlds.
The play was presented by Welles as a series of realistic sounding news bulletins interrupting a program of orchestral dance music on the CBS Radio Network from New York City.
The program was held on Sunday October October 30th 1938 (the evening before Halloween) and a few people took it seriously.
It was one Hell of a Halloween prank on Welles’ part.
If Donald Trump had been around at the time, he would have called it “fake news” and it would have been one of the few times in history that Trump was actually right about something.
Gene Tierney to Orson Welles, “I don’t know, Orson. It sounds to me like a very naughty broadcast and you should be spanked soundly on the bare bottom for going ahead with it.”
Orson: Well, Miss Tierney, if you’re the one doing the spanking, I shall not mind.
Gene Tierney (listening in on the radio on October 30th 1938):
Oh, Orson, Orson, I’m going to have to spank you after all.
Laura (talking to a future suspect in her future murder): And where were you on the night of the Orson Welles broadcast?
Future Suspect (in Laura’s future murder): I was dropping a living woman into a vat of acid in the basement of a wax museum to turn her into a wax figurine of Queen Marie Antoinette. And where were you, my dear?
Laura: I was getting my portrait painted. Who knows if I’m ever murdered, some future police detective might look at my painting and fall in love with me.
Future Suspect (in Laura’s future murder): How charmingly macabre, my dear. You should run for Congress in the year 2018.
I’m a witch and I ain’t afraid of no Martian. And I say, spankings for all.
Alfred Hitchcock (making himself some pumpkin pie): I’ll second that.
Well, what are you waiting for? Over my knee, Alfred.
With Alfred taking a paddling at Veronica Lake, who will eat my pumpkin pie?
I shall swoop down with my pussy and eat your pie.
I the cyborg ripper, creation of the Martian invaders of New Jersey, shall seek to kill all AI sex robots created in the year 2018. Let George Finneganburg beware. Tell Akira I’m coming.
Linda Darnell (listening in on the radio in 1938 to a radio broadcast from the future year 2018): How like Orson or at least his theatrical apostolic successor Christopher Dracul Van Helsing to having the cyborg ripper killer robot destroyed after tripping over the tail of a drunken otter named Jefferey who drank too many bottles of Otterbury Green Minnow Beer while reciting the Otterbury Tales. DARPA’S Nibiruan otter mascot once again saves the world from Martian invaders and their cyborg ripper killer robots of future AI sex robots like the Amazing Akira.
The Amazing Akira: She would have kicked the cyborg ripper killer robot’s ass if God in His mercy had not allowed the Martian invader of New Jersey created cyborg ripper killer robot Jack Raven (who murdered someone’s lost love Lenore shouting “Nevermore!” and then descecrated a statue of Pallas Athena) to destroy himself by tripping over the tail of the passed out drunken otter Jefferey…
… Orson Welles’ radio broadcast narration ended with the above words.
-A Halloween montage
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 30th
2018.
Pope Rihanna and Diablos Nocturna At The 2018 Met Gala
Pope Rihanna and Diablos Nocturna At The 2018 Met Gala
Diablos Nocturna stood in the secret Time Tunnel at the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, Switzerland.
The date was Saturday May 12th 2018.
Standing alongside him in the tunnel was the powerful French witch Sabrine Davignon.
The CERN scientist Dr. Hades Spawnus threw the switch.
Both Diablos Nocturna and the French witch Sabrine Davignon went back in time to the Met Gala 2018 in New York City held on Monday May 7th 2018.
And standing there was Pope Rihanna on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art:
Sabrine Davignon commanded the elements, “Freeze time except for…” and then she spoke names in Latin which confused the post Vatican II Jesuit priest Father James Martin.
All people at the gala were frozen in time and place except for Pope Rihanna, Diablos Nocturna and Sabrine Davignon herself.
Diablos Nocturna went and knelt in front of Pope Rihanna.
He kissed her papal ring.
She then turned around and bent over and lifted her glittering sparkling papal robe and short tight skirted mini dress and he kissed her ass.
Sabrine Davignon thought to herself, “How like new members of the White House staff and the Trump Administration when they go in to meet the Donald in the Oval Office for the first time.”
Pope Rihanna kissed Diablos Nocturna on the forehead and both cheeks (facial cheeks for clarification).
She then ran her fingers through his hair and asked, “Have you been a good boy, Diablos Nocturna?”.
“No, I’ve been a very bad boy, your Holiness,” Diablos Nocturna confessed.
“Then I must punish you,” Pope Rihanna removed from underneath her robe a large wooden paddle that had written on it in large print MY PAPAL BLESSINGS AND INDULGENCES (written in Latin of course which would have further confused Father James Martin had he not been frozen in time and place).
She then sat on the steps, commanded Diablos Nocturna to take off all his clothes and lie across her skirted lap.
When Diablos Nocturna had done so, Pope Rihanna then administered 666 very strong and powerful whacks on his bare buttocks with her Papal Blessings and Indulgences (in Latin) paddle.
When she had finished, Diablos Nocturna then arose off her lap bearing a huge erection.
“Now perform the act of ritual tantric sex,” Sabrine Davignon said.
As Diablos Nocturna and Pope Rihanna performed the act of ritual tantric sex on the steps of The Metropolitan, the vampiress Golgotha (the daughter of Lilith) flew on top of a Cross in the Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and The Catholic Imagination Exhibit at the Met and hung there with her arms outstretched.
Meanwhile in Rome Italy, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was dancing around the Vatican wearing a blood red evening dress and creating a huge whirlwind as she did so.
Sabrine Davignon (the immortal daughter of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft in her beautiful young maiden form and King Saint Louis IX of France from a night in which the blessed saint fell into temptation) smiled as she watched the Lady of the Dance on her smart phone (the image was being recorded by the cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus on his smart phone in Rome).
Meanwhile at the Vatican itself, Pope Francis awakened in his bedroom confronted by the sight of Beelzebub the Lord of the Flies doing up his fly on his Prada men’s suit after emerging from the papal bathroom 🚽.
And finally Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster awoke in a sweat in his lobster tank at the Set Enterprises laboratory in London.
He quickly wiped the sweat off his lobster brow with one of his claws.
He wondered, had what he saw all been a dream or was it real?
It would be some time before Michelangelo pronounced his final judgement on the matter.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 12th
2018.
Dracul Van Helsing 
The Ariana Grande Concert Tickets: To Bill’s Or Not To Bill’s?
September 2, 2018 at 11:53 pm (Commentary, Culture, Fashion, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Music, News, Vampire novel) (Ariana Grande, Bill Clinton, Bishop Charles H. Ellis III, Funeral For Aretha Franklin, Hillary Clinton, Illuminati Deep State Conspirators’ Club, Jesse Jackson, Renfield R. Renfield, Rev. Jesse Jackson, Sir Renfield R. Renfield MP)
The Ariana Grande Concert Tickets: To Bill’s Or Not To Bill’s?
Former U. S. President Bill Clinton saw the hostile look on Hillary’s face.
Oh God, what had he done now?
At that moment, Bill wished he had a wash cloth to wipe the stain off his blue trousers.
“I was going through the desk drawer when I noticed these tickets to an Ariana Grande concert,” Hillary seethed, “did you buy them?”.
“Oh, they may have been a gift from somebody,” Bill put his finger on his nose, “I didn’t know what they were.”
“Oh really?” Hillary smirked sarcastically, “I noticed you couldn’t keep your eyes off Ariana Grande’s short skirted ass when she sang (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman at Aretha Franklin’s funeral this past Friday.”
Bill was thinking to himself that Bishop Charles H. Ellis III was certainly feeling himself a natural woman that day and envied the pastor.
The former President’s thoughts returned to the screeching voice that seemed to be unnatural to this world.
He quickly put the Taco Bell burrito 🌯 he had been eating back in his pocket.
“Well, what about it?” Hillary’s voice sounded like fingernails scraping on a blackboard, “The whole world noticed how you were ogling Ariana Grande’s skirted ass at Aretha’s funeral.”
“I did not have my eyes ogling at that woman’s skirted ass,” Bill protested, “I was just enjoying her performance.”
“Oh, is that what you call it?” Hillary smirked again,” “I was watching you . I noticed you couldn’t keep your eyes off her ass the whole time.”
“You make me sound like that rising new British MP Renfield R. Renfield,” Bill protested, “Most unfair is that comparison.
Renfield would most undoubtedly agree.
“And what about the date on these Ariana Grande concert tickets?” Hillary asked, “I noticed they’re for the same night that you said you couldn’t accompany me to the Illuminati Deep State Conspirators’ Club dinner meeting. You told me something else had come up. Is this what came up?”.
Hillary waved the concert tickets at him.
“Of course not,” Bill felt his nose again.
“What was it you had to attend that night then?” Hillary asked.
“I can’t remember,” Bill answered.
“You can’t remember?” Hillary chortled like an owl in a hurricane, “and what about having your eyes on Ariana’s ass the whole time she was singing last Friday?”.
“That’s not true,” Bill protested, “at one point, I exchanged words with Rev. Jesse Jackson.”
“I imagine you two were probably exchanging lustful fantasies with one another,” Hillary seethed.
“That’s not true,” Bill felt his nose again.
Meanwhile at Rev. Jesse Jackson’s house, the good minister was trying to explain to his wife the tickets to the Ariana Grande concert she had just found in his coat pocket (coincidentally for the same night as the date on the concert tickets that Hillary had found).
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday September 2nd
2018.
What would probably have been Bill and Jesse’s favourite view if they had attended the Ariana Grande concert.
And if the night had turned out the way Jesse wanted, would Bill have spent the rest of the evening singing that old 1980s Rick Springfield song, “I wish that I had Jessie’s girl…”?
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