Red October
“Where do you want the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern to take you?” The ghost of Orson Welles asked his companion.
“I’ll let you decide,” his companion answered.
“All right,” Welles’ ghost sipped a spectral glass of spectral red wine and spun the globe of the world in the Set Estate Library.
Welles put his finger down.
“Ah,” said Welles, “That’s a nice place. Very nice place.”
Welles reached into the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s glass jar coin collection (of coins dating back to the 1500s from various nations in the world) and pulled out a coin.
“Ah, a very recent time but that might be okay,” Welles stated.
He pushed the button on the Houdini-Pantages-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern Film Projector.
This magic lantern could be used for time travel.
As Welles’ ghost and his companion flew through the space and time continuum, Welles remarked, “Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster is referring to this month we just left as Red October 3.0. Do you know what he means by that?”.
“Well,” his companion answered, “The first Red October was October 1917 when Russia went Bolshevik Communist. And the second Red October… or Red October 2.0 is October 1949 when mainland China went Communist and became the People’s Republic of China. Red October 3.0 is October 2021.”
“So who will go Communist this time?” Welles lit himself a cigar.
“The United States of America,” his companion answered, “according to Michelangelo.”
“So here we are,” Welles announced, “Hawaii, October 2009.”
“Sometime between October 15th and October 25th 2009,” his companion read the sign.
“Do you have any idea who that very beautiful young woman is?” Welles inquired.
“That’s Q’orianka Kilcher,” his companion answered, “She played the last Crown Princess of Hawaii, Princess Ka’iulani, in the movie Princess Ka’iulani that came out that year of 2009.”
“I see,” Welles sipped his wine.
“October 15th to 25th, 2009,” his companion reflected, “My dad would have still been alive then.”
“Your dad?” Welles blinked.
“He collapsed to the floor while shaving in the bathroom on May 18th 2010 and had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance,” his companion recalled, “he died less than a month later on June 16th 2010.”
“I see,” Welles finished his wine and looked around for another glass.
“One of the many strange things he said to me before he died was, Chris, fight Red October,” his companion said.
“Did he explain what he meant?” Welles asked.
“No, he never did,” his companion looked again at the sign.
“In the meantime, let’s go see a movie,” his companion suggested, “At least in this month and this year, we don’t need a vaccine passport to get in.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 1st
2021.
Thunderstorms and Surprises
A long time ago
A friend wrote about a movie she had seen
I remarked it sounded interesting
She said I should watch it
I said I would
But I never did
and one day I was flipping through the channels
and the caption on the screen gave the title of the movie
I said I’d watch
but never did
So I watched a little
But was not too impressed with the scene
I had stumbled across while flipping through
The channels
I said, “This movie is not for me”
And continued flipping through the channels
Thus it was whenever I was flipping through the channels
And came across the caption showing the title of the movie
on the channel that I said I might watch
But never did
I kept on flipping through the channels
So it would appear that I never would watch this movie
That I said I might watch
Because the one time I stumbled across it
It showed a scene I didn’t like
And thought the rest of the film would be just as bad
Tonight was a thunderstorm in the area
A big dramatic thunderstorm
Ending days of severe heat.
Heavy rain, lightning, thunder, hail and funnel clouds
On the same day that a letter showed up in the mail
To a guy named MacBeth
Who must have apparently once lived at this address
But does not do so now.
Watching the weather report on tonight’s news
The weather woman said there was fierce weather in the area
And as if to emphasize what the weather woman had just said
Lightning flashed, the thunder roared
And the power chose to go off at this exact moment.
“I guess she’s absolutely right,” I remarked stupidly
To no one in particular in the house
Since my roommate had left on a camping trip this weekend
And the only one left in the house aside from me
Was an artificial plant
That appeared on the verge of dying
Funny- even plants that are artificial die on me.
After a couple of minutes I deduced with profound Sherlockinginess
That the power didn’t seem to be coming on anytime soon
I went down to my bedroom
And pushed the buttons on my obsolete tablet
And my obsolete smart phone
They still told the time
Although I deduced (quite accurately it turns out)
That the house wifi probably went out with the power
(It had).
After ten minutes the power came back on
It was still raining heavily
So I couldn’t go out for my evening walk
I decided to see what the movie was on tonight
On a channel that showed movies from 7 PM until midnight
It turns out whenever the power goes out
It takes a while for the cable company
To reset
And mention what shows are on each channel
On the captions they show on each channel
While you’re flipping through
So in order to find out the movie
I’d have to watch until they actually showed the title of the movie
Whatever film it was had intriguing opening shots and cinematography
They showed the producer, the director and a few members of the cast
prior to showing the title of the picture
When they showed the title of the movie
I was horrified
It was the title of the movie
That my friend had recommended I watch
And said that I would but never did
The movie I had inadvertently stumbled across one time
While flipping through the channels
And the scene that I saw had impressed me so little
That I thought the rest of the movie was just as bad.
I looked out the window
The rain was definitely not going to stop anytime soon
So I decided to watch a bit
After all the film’s opening cinematography
While the opening credits were rolling
Had impressed me a great deal
And actually the film’s opening scene, storyline
And dialogue
After the opening credits had impressed me a great deal
I watched
About 10 minutes into the film
Appeared that one scene
Which I had stumbled across that one time
And thought was so bad
I never watched the rest of the film
I have to say I liked this film
I really liked this film
The girl who recommended I watch it
She was right
She thought I’d like it
And I did.
And if it hadn’t been for the fierce thunderstorm
And the power going out
Causing the cable company to reset
Meaning no captions naming the TV shows
On each channel as you’re flipping through
I probably would never have watched it.
What does it mean?
That I finally did?
I don’t know.
But the line that impressed me the most during the show
Among so many impressive lines in the show
Was this
(Movie buffs might be able to guess what movie this was from this one character’s line- let me know in the comments)
“Believing in science is good up to a point
But then after that point, God steps in.”
-A poem written by Christopher
Friday July 2nd 2021
Scavenger Hunt On The Amalfi Coast
The ghost of Orson Welles was sitting in an arm chair in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion and reflecting on a yacht trip he had made to Italy’s Amalfi Coast in 1953.
The Amalfi Coast is a stretch of coastline on the Tyrrhenian Sea located in the Gulf of Salerno in Southern Italy.
Welles recalled he wasn’t quite sure how he got to the Amalfi Coast.
The last thing he remembered was being on Spain’s Meditteranean coast and imbibing in several glasses of red wine.
The next thing Welles remembered was waking up on a yacht off the Amalfi Coast.
The yacht belonged to an Arab sheikh.
Welles got off the yacht not far from the town of Ravello.
He wandered around the town and ran into an acquaintance fellow actor Humphrey Bogart.
Bogart was in the town along with actresses Jennifer Jones and Gina Lollobrigida and actors Robert Morley, Peter Lorre and Bernard Lee.
They were shooting the 1953 adventure comedy film Beat The Devil.
Bogey teased Welles as they sat in a small outdoor cafe.
“Well, Orson, this film is obviously about beating you,” Bogey smiled, “You’re usually playing a villain in most of your films whether it’s a megalomaniacal newspaper publisher, an ex-Nazi on the verge of becoming a U.S. Supreme Court justice’s son-in-law, a post-war black marketeer on the streets of Vienna or a Renaissance Borgia prince. Your characters are usually human devils of some form or another. Thus as the film title suggests Beat The Devil is about beating you.”
Welles wasn’t about to take this insult lying down.
He answered, “I did play a heroic role in the 1947 film The Lady From Shanghai where my soon-to-be ex-wife played the villainess. Besides in many of your film roles in the 1930s, you often played gangster or mean tough guy roles.”
“Yes but later I played great heroic roles like Rick in Casablanca and Philip Marlowe in The Big Sleep so I was quite the heroic hero whereas you were usually the villainous villain,” Bogey laughed.
“Well, pick a game,” Welles challenged, “I bet I can beat you at it. And then we’ll see who’s the Devil.”
At that moment Gina Lollobrigida approached.
Bogey told her about Welles’ challenge.
The Italian actress suggested an old fashioned scavenger hunt.
Welles and Bogey agreed.
Gina said she would pick what was to be located and found.
She gave the same list to each actor.
Both Welles and Bogey set out on the scavenger hunt.
Welles had spent the entire morning searching.
And he had located what was to be located on Gina’s scavenger list.
Now it was early afternoon and Welles came to the final item on the list.
“What?!” Welles exclaimed, “Find the Greek goddess Hera sitting on a piece of driftwood on the beach? How is that even possible?”.
Still Welles headed down to the beach.
Where he noticed a beautiful woman who looked like a goddess sitting on a piece of driftwood on the beach.
“Excuse me,” Welles addressed the woman, “but you aren’t the Greek goddess Hera by any chance?”.
“I am, Mr. Welles,” the goddess answered, “I’m a big fan of yours so I came down from Mount Olympus to help you beat Bogey.”
Welles took Hera to the cafe where sat Gina and Bogey.
Bogey was looking dejected as he had been unable to find the goddess Hera sitting on a piece of driftwood on the beach.
When Welles introduced the woman as Hera and swore on a King James Bible that he had found her sitting on a piece of driftwood on the beach, Bogey objected, “I believe that you did find her sitting on a piece of driftwood on the beach but how do we know this woman is really Hera?”.
Hera then called on the gods Zeus and Hermes to appear.
When they did so appearing out of thin air, Bogey conceded defeat while Gina looked very surprised.
Angered by his scavenger hunt loss, Bogey went for a car ride where he got into an accident losing several of his teeth.
As a result while adjusting to the loss of his teeth, Bogey was unable to speak clearly and therefore actor Peter Sellers (who was not then well known at the time but had a talent for imitating voices) was hired to dub some of Bogey’s lines speaking like Bogey.
Some of the lines had to be re-dubbed because Sellers instead of speaking like Bogey spoke like Indian actor Hrundi V. Bakshi whom Sellers would later play in the 1968 movie The Party.
And thus that was how through the help of the Greek goddess Hera, Welles was able to beat Bogey at a scavenger hunt.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 10th
2021.
Tanaka and The Unfinished Orson Welles Film Noir
The immortal Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka: As she appeared in a scene in Orson Welles’ unknown and unfinished Film Noir movie The Feather Casts A Giant Shadow
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion and enjoying a fine single malt Scotch whisky as he engaged in conversation with the ghost of Orson Welles.
Renfield was telling Welles how he had run into the immortal Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka yesterday in a London park and how she had played the most beautiful melody on a beautiful vintage classical lyre.
“Tanaka had once visited Los Angeles in 1946 and she appeared as the heroine in a Film Noir movie I was directing at the time The Feather Casts A Giant Shadow,” Welles reflected over a good spectral glass of spectral red wine, “A film I was sadly unable to finish because it was shut down on orders of the studio heads.”
“How did Tanaka become immortal anyways?” Renfield inquired.
“She had apparently ridden a rare legendary ghost white buffalo back in the late 1870s and it is said that whoever rides a ghost white buffalo becomes immortal,” Welles explained, “And in Tanaka’s case, that turned out to be true.”
“What was the plot of this unfinished Film Noir movie starring Tanaka?” Renfield asked.
“It was about a prestigious Ivy League university secret society,” Welles answered, “one that counts several influential politicians and judges among its membership. And one that specializes in stealing important Native American artifacts.”
“I wonder which Ivy League university secret society you would have based that on,” Renfield remarked sarcastically.
Welles laughed.
For both knew that the secret society in the film was obviously based on Yale University’s Skull and Bones Society.
“And what was the plot of the film?” Renfield wanted to know.
“That the giant Phoenix bird of ancient legend had once flown over the Black Hills of South Dakota and one of its giant feathers had fallen on a hill top,” Welles replied, “where it was found by members of the Lakota Sioux nation. It was kept in a sacred lodge in the Black Hills known only to certain elders and certain members of their families. A member of this Ivy League University secret society accidentally crashed his plane near the lodge and found the lodge with the sacred Phoenix feather present. Being the thorough scoundrel that he was (a future U.S. Presidential candidate if there ever was one), he stole it.
He placed the feather in a room in a Philosophical Research Library and Museum in Los Angeles that was associated with a grand global occultic fraternity of which the Ivy League University Secret Society was just a branch.”
“How did Tanaka’s character fit into the film?” Renfield asked.
“Tanaka played the granddaughter of a Lakota Sioux elder who was one of the Guardians of The Feather,” Welles explained, “She was sent to Los Angeles to bring the Feather back to its original owners.”
“So Tanaka was the heroine,” Renfield nodded, “Who was the femme fatale in the film?”.
“That would have been the secret society member’s girlfriend,” Welles noted, “She was a female Nazi Intelligence officer who had been brought to the United States by the OSS (forerunner of the CIA) in order to help set up America’s post-war Intelligence, National Security and Espionage apparatus.”
“I see,” Renfield finished his glass of whisky and poured himself another, “And so why did the studio heads stop and shut down production of the film?”.
“Because I guess it was hitting a little too close to the truth of what was actually happening in the U.S. at the time,” Welles answered, “Apparently FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover himself showed up in the offices of the studio head ordering that the film’s production be immediately halted. And to add insult to injury, Hoover apparently showed up wearing one of the dresses that Vivien Leigh wore as Scarlett O’ Hara in the movie Gone With The Wind. The production ceased with a single phone call within 5 minutes of Hoover’s arrival.”
“How very sad,” Renfield sipped his second glass of Scotch, “It sounds like the film would have been a great classic.”
Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka appearing in a scene in Orson Welles’ unfinished Film Noir classic The Feather Casts A Giant Shadow.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 9th
2021.
Orson Welles On The Orient Express
The ghost of Orson Welles sat in a comfortable arm chair in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion.
He was sipping a spectral glass of spectral red wine.
He was reflecting on a dream he had as a young mortal man where he was contemplating directing a spy film set on the Orient Express.
Agatha Christie had published a Hercule Poirot novel called Murder On The Orient Express back in 1934.
The spy film set aboard the Orient Express that Welles was planning to make would have been done 20 years before Sean Connery’s 1963 James Bond film From Russia With Love part of which was set aboard the Orient Express.
However Welles’ idea for the film was rejected by film studio heads.
When Welles had the dream that became the basis for the proposed film, he dreamed he was back in the mid-1930s.
Soviet Stalinist agents had stolen the Spear of Longinus (the spear said to have pierced the side of Christ as recorded in the New Testament) from the Hofburg Palace Museum in Vienna, Austria.
They were now riding the Orient Express to Istanbul where they would then board a ship from Istanbul to Odessa.
And then from Odessa the Soviet Stalinist agents would head to Moscow and then to Stalin.
However Nazi spies were also on the trail of the Soviet agents as Hitler too desired to possess the Spear of Longinus for world conquest.
Britain and France had likewise sent their best agents to recapture the Spear of Longinus.
Welles played the British agent Sir Cyril Bellerophon.
He was to rendezvous with France’s top agent aboard the Orient Express.
All Welles’ Bellerophon knew was that the French agent’s initials were ML.
As Welles’ character of Sir Cyril Bellerophon sat in the empty dining car (as it was currently neither breakfast, lunch or dinnertime aboard the train), a beautiful woman entered the Orient Express dining car and approached him.
She walked up to Welles’ Bellerophon and said, “Bonjour Monsieur. Je suis Monique Labelle.”
Welles bowed and said, “Bonjour Mademoiselle. Je suis Sir Cyril Bellerophon.”
It had occurred to Welles that Monique LaBelle (whose intials were ML) was the French agent.
That turned out to be the case.
Welles thought it was a shame he woke up from the dream and had no idea how the whole scenario would end.
Still he had a chance to kiss Monique Labelle before he woke up.
And that Welles’ ghost reflected as he lit himself a spectral cigar was the important thing.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 25th
2021
Cavorting With The Three Musketeers On A Wet and Rainy Evening
A poster from the 2011 film version of The Three Musketeers
Raining all day
But I still feel like going
For an evening walk
I open the door
And step outside
It’s not only very cold
And very wet
But also very windy
I feel like I’m splashed by ocean waves
With no ocean present
I step back inside
Reluctantly I turn on the TV
And I’m reminded of a line
Spoken by the arch villain
John Doe
In the ’90s TV series
Lois and Clark:
The New Adventures of Superman
“Do you know what the future is,
Lois? Clark?
The future is 200 TV channels
And still nothing on.”
More prescient words
were never spoken
on a TV episode.
There is one channel
That shows movies
On weeknights
But mostly films
About smashing up cars
Blowing up cars
Blowing up buildings
Or blowing up space ships
I usually turn the channel off
About 2 minutes in
And think to myself,
“Too bad Vin Diesel
wouldn’t be struck and killed
by a diesel van.”
But tonight I turn on that channel
And it’s The Three Musketeers
2011 film version
Which I haven’t seen
2 and 1/2 hours of enjoyable entertainment
I sit back and recount my first encounter
with The Three Musketeers
A Classics Illustrated Comic Book
Back in elementary school
Alexandre Dumas’ novel itself
In paperback
A gift from my parents
A couple of birthdays later
Later as a film buff
I’ve encountered various versions
Of The Three Musketeers
1930s version
1940s version
Then ’50s, ’60s, ’70s, ’80s and ’90s
And now the 2011 version
It all takes me back to reading that comic book
For the first time
And dreaming of being a swashbuckling musketeer
Outwitting Cardinal Richelieu
and outfoxing Milady de Winter
Being with D’Artagnan and the Three Musketeers
Aramis, Athos and Porthos
is like being with old friends
And what better way to spend
A wet, cold and rainy evening
Than indoors with old friends.
-A poem written by Christopher
Monday May 24th 2021
Andrea Angelicus: Another Time, Another Place
Andrea Angelicus: Modeling for an artist
Andrea Angelicus in another time, another place
Not the Coviet Union laden world of 2021
But Paris in the year 1948
She was in an artist’s studio
Modeling for an artist
“What will you call this piece, Klaus?”
Andrea asked.
“Klaus?” The artist looked surprised.
“I doubt very much your name is actually Henri,”
Andrea noted,
“Like the first name in your artist’s signature
On your paintings suggest.
For you have a German accent
Not a French one.”
“I am not a Nazi,” Klaus (aka Henri) stated emphatically.
“I never said you were,” Andrea waved her FDR style cigarette holder
holding her smokeless cigarette as if it were a magic wand.
“But these days most people think that,” Klaus sighed.
“I ask again, Klaus,” Andrea gave the impression of dropping cigarette ash on the floor, “What will you call this piece?”.
“The Woman of Midnight,” Klaus answered.
“Intriguing name,” Andrea smiled.
“Thank you,” Klaus put the finishing touches on his painting.
Klaus then signed his nom-de-plume signature to the painting
And asked,
“Tell me, Miss Andrea Angelicus, do you have any names besides Andrea Angelicus?”.
“I’ve been called the Phoenix Woman,” Andrea answered.
“Intriguing name,” Klaus smiled,
“Do you rise from your own ashes?”.
Andrea stepped into her circle of non-existent cigarette ash
and vanished.
Klaus looked
And noticed she was gone.
He felt his heart pounding in his chest
and slumped to the floor.
Klaus Grau was dead
But Henri Gris
would live on
through his paintings.
-A narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 8th
2021.
Orson Welles, Faust, Marilyn Monroe and The Asphalt Jungle
The ghost of Orson Welles sat in an armchair in the living room of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
He had been imbibing several spectral glasses of spectral red wine from a large bottle of spectral red wine and reminiscing to Renfield about his mortal life.
“I’m not quite sure how it happened,” Welles’ nose was starting to look as red as that of his favourite Shakespearian character Falstaff, “but I somehow managed one day to find myself on the set of the 1950 film noir movie The Asphalt Jungle in which Marilyn Monroe starred.”
“Did you?” Renfield was intrigued.
“Yes,” Welles nodded, “and what was even more intriguing is that the Renaissance German alchemist Dr. Johann Georg Faust (who was born in 1480 and supposedly died in an alchemical experiment explosion at the Hotel zum Lowen in the German town of Staufen im Breisgau in 1540 but he did not) was also on the set of that film.”
“That’s right,” Renfield nodded, “Faust didn’t die until 2011 when I hired an Irish arsonist to bump him off.”
“That’s interesting,” Welles poured himself another glass of spectral red wine, “anyways I wasn’t sure what Faust was doing there.”
“My friend the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu who used to be a Communist but isn’t anymore (as she and I have conceived a plot to bump off Xi Jinping) was doing some research and discovered that Faust was doing biological warfare research for the Nazis in the 1930s and 1940s. Apparently that research involved working with bats in Mexico. Somehow that bat research wound up in the hands of Soong Mei-ling (Madame Chiang Kai-shek). Soong Mei-ling’s Kuomintang operatives who had his research papers later defected to the Communist forces of Mao Tse-tung,” Renfield noted, “Later that research wound up in the hands of the Wuhan Institute of Virology.”
“That is interesting,” Welles acknowledged.
“What was Faust doing on the set of The Asphalt Jungle?” Renfield inquired.
“I think he was brought in as some sort of last minute technical advisor,” Welles recalled.
Renfield googled images of the film.
“Well, would you look at that,” Renfield was shocked.
“What is it?” Welles asked.
Renfield showed him the photo.
“It’s Marilyn Monroe with the image of the Coronavirus behind her,” Renfield noted.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 22nd
2021.
Just Another Day In Paradise
“I didn’t expect you to be back so soon,” the woman smiled at Carson Cody Albion Private Eye as she sat on the stairs leading up to his apartment.
The year was 1950.
“Do I know you?”
Albion inquired
After the woman greeted him on the stairs.
“Sadly, we’ve never met before,” the woman continued to smile at him.
“Are you a widow?” Albion asked her, “I notice you’re wearing a black dress and a black veil.”
“I am wearing what you say,” she continued to smile, “But I’m also wearing white flowers in my hair.”
“And wearing a smile,” Albion noted.
“That too,” the woman laughed.
“So you’re not a recent widow?” Albion asked.
“I am a recent widow,” the woman nodded, “but only in the stage play I’m acting in. I murdered my husband. I am a villainess… in the play.”
“Oh,” was Albion’s response as he rolled himself a cigarette.
“I walked direcly from the playhouse to here without stopping to change,” the woman explained.
“And who are you in real life?” Albion asked.
“My name is Sherrielock Holmes,” the woman answered.
“The name sounds familiar,” Albion lit his cigarette.
“Sherlock Holmes was my twin brother,” the woman lifted her veil and accepted a cigarette from Albion.
“But he’s dead and he’d be almost 100 if he was alive and…” Albion did not finish the sentence.
“I’m alive and I’m immortal,” the woman accepted a light.
“That explains everything,” Albion blew out the match.
“It does,” Sherrielock smiled.
“Do you wish to hire me?” Albion sat on a step below her.
“I do,” Sherrielock smiled.
“For what purpose?” Albion wanted to know.
“To investigate Richard M. Nixon,” Sherrielock answered.
“The presumed Republican Party candidate for U.S. Senator from California this year?” Albion took a bottle of bourbon from his coat pocket and took a sip.
“Yes,” Sherrielock nodded.
“Why?” Albion wanted to know.
“To see why Mei-ling Manchu is interested in him,” Sherrielock raised the hem of her skirt.
“Mei-ling Manchu?” Albion blew smoke rings.
“She’s a vampiress and a member of the CCP,” Sherrielock stated.
“CCP?” Albion was quizzical.
“Chinese Communist Party,” Sherrielock smiled, “Not Coca-Cola Playtime.”
“That’s good,” Albion raised his fedora, “Because I hear Nixon drinks Pepsi.”
“And here I was going to offer Tahiti Treat,” Sherrielock laughed.
“What’s Tahiti Treat?” Albion wasn’t familiar with that beverage.
“Well,” Sherrielock spoke breathlessly, “Why don’t we go up to your apartment and I’ll show you?”.
“Now there’s an offer I can’t refuse,” said Albion.
A young actor named Marlon Brando cast a glance up the stairwell.
Now there was a line he’d like to be able to use someday or a line like it.
-A Carson Cody Albion narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 11th
2021.
If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It
June 18, 2021 at 10:43 pm (Commentary, Culture, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Bill Gates, Build Back Better, Dashwood Forrest, Ghost of Orson Welles, Orson Welles, Renfield R. Renfield, The Ghost of Orson Welles)
“I’ll take that last slice of pizza if you don’t mind, Mr. Farrow.”
“Cut!” Orson Welles shouted, “That’s a take!”.
“I’ll say it is,” said the actress as she grabbed and ate the last slice of pizza.
The day’s production was over.
Welles took his hat and coat and went to a nearby lounge where he ordered a glass of red wine.
After a few sips, he fell asleep.
When he awoke, he was a ghost in a pub in London called The Ghosts’ Inn and he was sipping a spectral glass of spectral red wine.
Welles wasn’t sure whether he was a mortal man dreaming that he was a ghost or whether he was a ghost dreaming about his days as a mortal man.
It was like that myth he had once heard about the man who fell asleep and dreamed that he was a caterpillar and then when he woke up again, he wasn’t sure whether he was a man who dreamed he was a caterpillar or whether he’s a caterpillar who’s now dreaming that he’s a man.
“Such intense thoughts on the cusp of the summer solstice,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked over a gin and tonic.
“I wasn’t aware that I was thinking such thoughts aloud,” Welles’ ghost sighed.
“You were,” Renfield dug into his fish and chips with his knife and fork.
A butterfly flew in through the window of the pub.
“I wonder what the butterfly dreams,” Renfield mused aloud.
“Not sure,” Welles admitted, “But he’s got both man and caterpillar beat.”
“Of course there are some idiots,” Renfield pointed out, “let’s call them in Seinfeldian fashion Klaus Schwab, the World Economic Forum, Joe Biden, Justin Trudeau and Boris Johnson who probably figure that when it comes to butterflies, they can still Build Back Better.”
A British engineering student (who had spent the Covid lockdown studying Schwab’s book on The Fourth Industrial Revolution) was in another booth operating his robotic butterfly (that he called the Transbutterfly).
The Transbutterfly was trying to take nectar from the petal of an artificial flower.
The butterfly who had flown past Renfield and Welles flew out the door while the Transbutterfly flew into another customer’s pint of ale where it burst a gasket and disintegrated.
Dashwood Forrest the noted London art gallery dealer walked past Renfield and Welles carrying a godawful painting.
“What’s that hideous monstrosity?” Both Welles and Renfield asked at the same time.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to give this painting away,” Forrest admitted, “Bill Gates gave it to me on commission to sell. It’s a painting that he himself painted. He calls it Painting of A Build Back Better Sunset.”
“That’s a sunset?” Welles and Renfield both asked increduously at the same time.
Renfield put on his spectacles and Welles put on a ghostly spectral monocle.
Both man and ghost reacted with horror.
Renfield vomitted all over the painting while Welles spewed forth ghostly ectoplasm.
“I have to say that’s a very significant improvement,” Forrest declared after the vomit and ectoplasm now found their way on to Bill Gates’ Build Back Better Sunset.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 18th
2021.
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