Renfield R. Renfield Shows A Movie Trailer On His Podcast
British MP Renfield R. Renfield would be showing a movie trailer for a global blockbuster new movie on his Monday night podcast.
Fans of the Renfieldian podcast wondered what new movie he’d be showing a trailer for.
So they tuned in to find out.
Said Renfield, “This is a trailer I’ve written, directed and produced myself.
My friend the ghost of Orson Welles is doing the voice-over narration for the trailer.”
Renfield then showed the trailer.
Narrator and movie trailer announcer: For all those of you who were frightened to death by CORONAVIRUS (released in the autumn of 2019) and were so frightened you spent time locked inside your houses isolated and alone and quarantined from the rest of the world driving small businesses, family owned grocery stores and neighbourhood locally owned restaurants into bankruptcy while Amazon, Walmart, Costco and Big Pharma made grossly huge and obscenely excessive profits, the makers of CORONAVIRUS (2019) are pleased to bring you this spring MONKEYPOX: The Sequel.
Bill Gates is back in his role as the billionaire oligarch who wants to reduce the world’s population to 500 million people as it is written on the mysterious and suspiciously erected Georgia Guidestones.
Klaus Schwab reprises his role as the German engineer who wants to bring you a totalitarian One World Government and have everyone either dead or turned into a robotic cyborg by the year 2030.
George Soros returns as the nauseatingly annoying pipsqueak of a billionaire who engages in such evil endeavours because he’s… well… just plain evil.
Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus is back in his supporting role as the non-medical doctor doctor Tigray People’s Liberation Front Neo-Maoist head of WHO- the World Health Organization- controlled and owned by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Big Pharma and the Chinese Communist Party although that fact is not mentioned and advertised on their letterhead stationery.
Joe Biden puts in a cameo appearance as the diaper wearing senile old fool who wants to give WHO absolute global control over managing the health policy of every nation on the planet.
And Kamala Harris puts in a cameo appearance as a dumbed down version of the villainess Madame Defarge from Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities as she cackles her way through television interviews in which she sings the praises of child sacrifice to Baal and Moloch.
Dr. Anthony Fauci guest stars as the evil mad scientist (so beloved by the brainless mainstream media) who relishes in telling every American citizen what to do and how to follow the science even though the science Dr. Fauci follows changes hour by hour.
Jorge Mario Bergoglio is back in his supporting role as the Satanic AntiPope Francis who tells his flock to take whatever vaccine Bill Gates and company is offering them even if it kills them.
Announcer and Trailer Narrator (in very sinister tones): Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
Because that’s what the brainless mainstream media wants you to be…
Announcer and trailer narrator (in very bold and grandly eloquent overdramatic tones): MONKEYPOX: The Sequel.
Coming soon to a planet of nutcases and morons near you.
-A Renfieldian movie trailer
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 23rd
2022.
Sophia Loren, Yvonne de Carlo and Gina Lollobrigida will not be appearing in this turkey of a film
The Lounge Singer
Cantolina Aguirre the lounge singer
It was May 1949.
And Carson Cody Albion was sitting in a high class cocktail lounge in Los Angeles.
The name of the lounge was The Purple Canary.
Albion wasn’t sure whether there was such a thing as a purple canary.
He thought most canaries were yellow.
But then again up until 1697, most Europeans thought all swans were white.
Then came 1697.
And Dutch explorer Willem de Vlamingh discovered black swans in Australia.
So maybe there are purple canaries.
Perhaps someday one will be found on the moon.
What made him think of the moon just now?
His eyes and ears returned to the singer and the song.
Cantolina Aguirre was singing the song Blue Moon.
When the song was over, Cantolina Aguirre came and sat at Albion’s table.
“Nice of you to sit here,” Albion smiled.
“I’m your contact,” Cantolina explained.
“Contact?” Albion looked puzzled.
“Didn’t Soong Mei-ling hire you to escort weapons from the Aladdin Tea Company Warehouse to the ship Blue Tiger down at the docks?” Cantolina inquired.
Soong Mei-ling was Madame Chiang Kai-shek the First Lady of the Republic of China.
She was the wife of Generalissimo Chiang Kai-shek the President of China.
The Kuomintang Chinese Nationalist government was currently in trouble and there was the possibility that China could fall to Mao Tse-tung’s Communists.
Concerned people across the U.S. were sending arms to Chiang’s government worried that the U.S. government wasn’t doing enough.
“She did,” Carson nodded, “but I was expecting my contact to be Chinese.”
“I was born in Shanghai,” Cantolina answered, “My father worked at the Spanish Consulate in the city.”
“Wow, don’t I have egg on my face,” Albion remarked after a waiter accidentally spilled Egg Foo Yung all over him.
Cantolina gave him the passwords he was to use at both the warehouse and the loading docks for the ship Blue Tiger.
Albion stood up to go on his mission.
“I’ll be working here until 2 AM, ” she said as she got up to return to the stage.
“Do you ever make love to any of your contacts?” Albion asked before leaving.
Cantolina grabbed a napkin and wrote on it with her red lipstick.
She then folded the napkin.
“Here’s the answer,” she said as she handed him the folded napkin, “Don’t open it until you walk through that door again.”
Later after Albion had completed the mission, he returned to The Purple Canary and walked through the door.
He opened and unfolded the napkin to read her red lipstick answer to his question.
ONCE IN A BLUE MOON.
Cantolina noticed his entrance and his unfolding of the napkin.
She immediately began singing the song Blue Moon.
-A Carson Cody Albion Short Story
Written by Christopher
Monday May 2nd 2022.
Ghost of Orson Welles Dreams He’s Directing Marilyn Monroe In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice
Marilyn Monroe appeared in Orson Welles’ dream this evening
The ghost of Orson Welles was fast asleep in his favourite armchair in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London mansion.
Earlier this evening Orson Welles had been giving British MP Renfield R. Renfield advice on how to respond to last week’s World Government Summit in Dubai.
At the World Government Summit, World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab called for One World Government to be implemented immediately.
Also at the World Government Summit in Dubai last week, economist Dr. Pippa Malmgren, who served as Special Economic Policy advisor to America’s scumbag Neo-Conservative President George W. Bush, called for a global Digital Currency.
Under her plan all forms of cash would be scrapped to be replaced by a global digital currency administered by a One World Government.
Back in Canada the moronic Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau said that any talk of an impending world government was just a conspiracy theory.
Castro’s low-IQ Canadian son was immediately hit in the face with a poison mushroom cream pie thrown by the invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka purple bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.
On behalf of Renfield, the ghost of Orson Welles directed a commercial warning of the dangers of a One World Government and a global Digital Currency.
In the commercial Orson had the ghost of Charles Laughton playing a high-tech digital age Roman Emperor Caligula arguing on the need for a global Digital Currency.
Laughton played an insane power mad Caligula perfectly.
As Caligula had the rear end of his horse marched into the chambers of the U.S. Senate to take his seat, the chief priest of the Galli (the eunuch transgendered priests of the cult of the goddess Cybele in ancient Rome) named Jorgaius Marius Bergoglius Franciscus (who was played by the ghost of Truman Capote) called on the need for everyone to accept the Digital Currency.
Jorgaius Marius Bergoglios Franciscus screamed his head off as the Commander of the Praetorian Guard (played by the ghost of Vincent Price) burnt a mark into the forehead and right hand of the transgendered priest prelate.
“You now have the Digital Currency mark,” the Praetorian Guard Commander smiled, “Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand…”
Orson Welles was now dreaming of directing Marilyn Monroe in his own film adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.
Marilyn Monroe playing Elizabeth Bennett waits on the bottom stairs for Mr. Darcy to show up.
But who was playing Mr. Darcy?
Welles woke up at that point.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 6th
2022.
Renfield’s Monday Night Podcast and Michelangelo’s Vision of Renfield At Future Oscars
Violinist Tina Guo is performing with the Hans Zimmer Live Tour over in Europe
Hans Zimmer won Best Musical Score for the movie Dune at last night’s Oscars
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Monday night podcast.
Said Renfield, “A few days ago senile old fool Joe Biden was in Poland shooting his mouth off about “freedom” and “liberty”.
What does a vaccinazi despot like Joe Biden know about “freedom” and “liberty” when he wanted to impose a national vaccine mandate on all of America?
The senile old fool Joe Biden also called for “Putin to be removed from power”. There’s nothing like tellng the leader of a rival nuclear power that you want him removed from power.
Of course Joe Biden’s handlers want nuclear war with Russia.
That way they can reduce the world’s population without waiting for those vaccine booster shots to kick in.
Although they are doing an excellent job in my own country of England.
British government data shows that 92.2% of all Covid deaths are among the triple vaccinated.
And last week Eastern European members of the European Parliament gave visiting Canadian Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau the raspberry that he so richly deserved.
Romanian and Croatian MEPs mentioned how he sent police horses to trample peaceful protestors and then passed an Emergencies Act so that he could seize the bank accounts of people whose political views he disagreed with.
This is the stuff of dictatorship the Romanian and Croatian MEPs pointed out (who were all too familiar with Communist dictators in their own countries).
Even the Presidents of both El Salvador and Honduras have called Justin Trudeau a despot and a dictator for sending police horses to trample protestors and for seizing bank accounts.
Personally I think Justin Trudeau should be publicly hanged by the neck until dead and his Nazi/Communist hybrid hag henchwoman Chrystia Freeland should be burnt at the stake as a witch.
Failing that, both of them should be charged with high treason against the Charter of Rights in the Canadian Constitution (that Justin’s stepdad Pierre had put in) and then thrown in jail.
If Justin Castro Trudeau was to have his lily white ass sodomized numerous times while he was in prison,that would be the best thing that could ever happen to him.”
. . .
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of a future Oscars ceremony some years down the road.
Renfield had been nominated for the role of Best Actor for playing the role of Prince Hal in a Kenneth Branagh directed production of William Shakespeare’s Henry IV Part 1.
Michelangelo was surprised to see Renfield was married in the vision as he sat at a front table close to the stage with his wife.
A foul mouthed comedian Justin Trudeau was to present the next award for Best Porn Film (a new Oscar category) in Michelangelo’s vision.
Foul mouthed comedian Justin Trudeau was a former Canadian Prime Minister who had been jailed for treason for a number of years.
Despite Justin Trudeau having been such a huge asshole, believe it or not his anus was a lot bigger after it had left prison than it was before coming in.
The foul mouthed alleged comic Justin Trudeau made an obscene insulting remark about Renfield’s wife.
Renfield got up on to the stage and approached the foul mouthed comic.
“Oh, oh,” one of the Academy Awards commentators could be heard saying, “I wonder if Renfield is going to punch Justin Trudeau like Will Smith did to Chris Rock a few years back.”
Renfield reached into his pocket, pulled out a gun and blew Justin Trudeau’s head off.
Justin Trudeau lay dead on the stage in a pool of blood- his perfectly coiffured hair now a tangled mess.
“Oh, oh,” one of the other commentators said, “I wonder what can be done about this situation as Renfield was granted a 007 License To Kill by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II a few years back. Maybe if he wins the Best Actor Award for his portrayal of Prince Hal in Henry IV Part 1, they’ll take the Oscar away from him.”
“Not if they want to live until the next morning, they won’t,” his commentating partner suggested.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 28th
2022.
Renfield’s Regency Croquet Match: All Is Fair In Love and War
After watching an episode of a television series that was set in Regency England, British MP Renfield R. Renfield fell asleep and dreamed that he was a young nobleman in Regency England.
After escorting the Prince Regent through local ale houses and giving advice to Arthur Wellesley the Duke of Wellington on how to defeat Napoleon, Renfield set out for high tea at Lady Vandeermeer’s Estate.
There he met two beautiful charming young ladies with whom he discussed the novels of Jane Austen.
In the middle of his watercress sandwich the valet to Lady Vandermeer delivered Renfield a note from his sometimes rival the Russian Vladimir Painintheassovich.
Vladimir Painintheassovich told Renfield that he was out on the Estate’s grounds with two gentlemen and that they would like to challenge Renfield to a game of croquet that is if Renfield could find two other partners to form a team.
Renfield immediately invited his two charming young Jane Austen Literary Society companions to form a team with him.
Renfield, his two lovely young literary society companions and a corgi who will serve as ball retriever
Renfield and his lovely young companions approached their rivals.
The Russian Vladimir Painintheassovich stood directly across from Renfield.
On Vladimir’s right was the Emperor Napoleon and on his left Ares the Greek god of war.
Lady Vandermeer’s valet brought some Ukrainian perogies with sour cream for Renfield and his companions to munch on before the match began.
Vladimir, Napoleon and Ares ate blood sausages and salt water tears wept by a young widow and her children.
When the match started, Renfield hit a ball that went flying into the right temple of the Emperor Napoleon and sent the Little Corporal unconscious alongside the Estate pond.
“Napoleon appears to have met his Waterloo,” Renfield remarked.
Ares sent his ball flying at the little corgi knocking him out cold.
“Thou black hearted snerd,” said Renfield’s lovely teammate who was wearing the green velvet dress with hints of gold decorating.
Ares’ nose was broken by the ball fired by the beauty in the green dress.
The god of war was carried off the croquet field.
Vladimir Painintheassovich called out to the beauty wearing the peach pink dress with hints of gold decorating.
“Hey babe, how would you like to see me ride a horse shirtless?” He said.
“I think all horses are shirtless aren’t they?” Answered the beauty in the peach pink dress, “I’ve never seen a horse wear a shirt.”
She fired a croquet ball at the Russian’s balls knocking him off his high horse which he had just crawled up on.
Renfield then finished the Russian off with a croquet ball fired to the forehead.
The MP then woke up.
“Ah, if only life were like a Regency England croquet match,” he ordered himself a cup of tea.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 23rd
2022.
Orson Welles’ Ghost Arranges For Russian Billionaire Oligarch To Be Bumped Off In Switzerland
The Russian oligarch billionaire felt like he was entering a scene in a late 1940s Film Noir movie.
Which in a sense he was.
Billionaire oligarch Hunterovich Pervertovsky (the son of the senile old fool Russian billionaire oligarch Josef Pervertovsky famous for going around sniffing the hair of beautiful women and for always wanting to dangle young girls on his lopsided knees as his pair of Russian made Depends dangled around his brown coloured ankles) was standing face to face with a woman who was the spitting image of actress Laurette Luez in the 1949 Film Noir movie D.O.A.
The entire scene had a black and white feel to it.
That’s because it was being directed by the ghost of the great film director Orson Welles.
His friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had arranged for the pro-Taiwan Vietnamese secret agent Ho Babylon Minh to drop a Mickey into Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s hot toddy as he ate his rotisserie chicken accompanied by Black Sea caviar in the Swiss chalet restaurant.
Unbeknownst to him a Ukrainian band with a Ukrainian ukulele player played that old Canadian restaurant TV commercial song “Life should taste as good as Swiss Chalet” from the top floor of the chalet as Ho slipped the mickey into his drink.
Hunterovich hit the floor faster than one of his many dropped laptops.
He soon found himself in this room, his head was spinning in a haze and everything looked black and white to him.
And he saw this vision:
Actress Laurette Luez smoking a cigarette
“There’s a glass of vodka in front of you, Comrade Uber-capitalist Hunterovich Pervertovsky,” Miss Luez pointed with her shapely leg.
Pervertovsky picked up the glass and drank.
His face suddenly turned very red like the flags rising above the Saint Petersburg Winter Palace on a Julian calendar October day in 1917.
“I believe it’s Polonium-210 that you use to get rid of the opponents of your friend Vlad the Exhaler’s regime isn’t it?” Miss Luez smiled, “Well there was enough Polonium-210 in that glass of vodka to kill a race horse. And personally I along with Mr. Welles, Mr. Van Helsing and Miss Ho have nothing against race horses.”
Hunterovich Pervertovsky the son of Josef Pervertovsky was D.O.A.
Meanwhile on Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s laptop (which had just landed at his feet) were the plans for Russia’s newest Kinzhal (Dagger) hypersonic missiles just used in Ukraine.
The plans were delivered to Set Enterprises in London.
And not the British government.
As the Bitish government was under the control of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum and the Great Reset New World Order.
Set Enterprises was not.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 20th
2022.
Merlin In Ukraine
The Celtic wizard Merlin appeared in Ukraine tonight along with a few animal acquaintances
“Isn’t that Merlin the magician?” Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun asked his fighting companion Leonard Constantinople the fighting rabbit.
Constantinople had been brought in to fight the 450 al-Qaeda fighters who had been allowed to cross Recep Tayyip Edrogan’s Turkey (at the request of the insane Biden Administration) to come to Ukraine to fight on behalf of Ukraine.
And as further proof of the Biden Administration’s insanity, Biden was allowing Vladimir Putin’s Russia to act as chief negotiator in its proposed nuclear deal with Iran.
The cherry on the cake as far as the Biden Administration’s insanity went was Biden’s Climate Change envoy John Kerry was now asking a private think tank to examine the question of how much, if any, effect a “limited” nuclear war with Russia would have on the environment and climate change.
The world was about to end not with a bang but with a badly written screenplay.
“It is,” Constantinople answered in regard to Yaldabaoth’s question.
Yaldabaoth then received a text message that children in China who had received the Xi Jinping approved China made Covid “vaccine” (really a genetic serum) were now being diagnosed with leukemia.
The Chinese Health Ministry in Beijing issued a statement that the fact Chinese children who received the “vaccine” were now being diagnosed with leukemia was just a huge coincidence and that to say otherwise would result in being sent to re-education camps “where you would be re-educated alongside Uighurs” and also “partake in making voluntary products for Wal-Mart”.
In other news Andreas Schofbek the CEO of the large German health insurance company BKK/Pro-Vita was fired last month after he released data suggesting German health authorities are significantly underreporting German vaccine related injuries.
The data was scrubbed from the Internet.
The globalist Communists in charge of the Great Reset were letting nobody stand in their way.
And that included Vladimir Putin the proposed new Czar of a revived 19th Century Imperial Russian Empire.
“Who are those animals with Merlin?” Yaldabaoth asked.
“Well the bear is possessed by Rasputin,” Constantinople answered, “the black wolf is possessed by the Holy Roman Emperor Frederick Barbarossa and the deer is Bambi.”
“Bambi?’ Yaldabaoth was incredulous.
“Yes, Bambi’s mother was shot by Vladimir Putin when he was out deer hunting,” Constantinople explained, “80 years ago, 32nd degree Freemason and practicing sorcerer Walt Disney was caught in a time warp brought about by a CERN Large Hadron Collidor experiment. He wound up in Russia last month where he saw Bambi’s mother shot by Vladimir Putin. He incorporated the scene in his film to serve as further western world anti-Putin propaganda when the time was right.”
“Bambi’s mother was shot,” Yaldabaoth broke into tears when he recalled the scene.
-A vampire novel chapter
written Tuesday March 15th
2022.
Poem About Sidney Poitier R.I.P.
Sidney Poitier (February 20th 1927 – January 6th 2022)
Christ said, “Consider the lilies of the field,
they toil not, they spin not
Yet Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these”
How fitting that this great actor and man of class
Won an Oscar for a film titled Lilies of The Field.
Guess who’s coming to dinner?
A man who is a scholar and gentleman
A man of considerable talent
A man of great charm and personality
A man who made a difference in the world
A life well lived
And now all we can say is
To Sir with love.
-A poetic tribute to Sidney Poitier
Written by Christopher
Friday January 7th
2021.
The Mexican Cantina
Rosa the singer inside the Mexican cantina
The year was 1959.
Richard M. Nixon was preparing to succeed Dwight Eisenhower as President the next year.
John F. Kennedy was on the phone to Marilyn Monroe asking if she’d drop by his place on New Year’s Eve and personally sing Auld Lang Syne to him.
Jackie Kennedy was shopping for rolling pins.
And the Greek god Zeus was in the office of Los Angeles Private Eye Carson Cody Albion asking him to locate Ganymede the cup-bearer to the Olympian gods.
Ganymede had apparently gone missing and was rumoured to be working inside a Mexican cantina.
Zeus wanted Albion to find him and bring him back to Olympus.
. . .
“I’m tired of you Olympians always whining about your wine all the time,” was Ganymede’s good-bye note.
Zeus wept.
He enjoyed the immortal youth bringing him wine.
And now he was gone.
He went to his Rolodex and found the business card for Carson Cody Albion.
He then summoned an eagle to fly him to Los Angeles.
The eagle was happy.
It was tired of eating liver all the time.
The titan Prometheus was happy as well.
. . .
In the Mexican cantina called Pedro’s, Rosa was singing up a storm.
When she had finished, she went and stood next to the piano.
Behind her stood the Greek god Ganymede disguised as a statue.
Carson Cody Albion had received a grape rather than an olive in his martini as he watched the show.
The grape contained a fortune cookie saying sized message that read I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO OLYMPUS.
It was signed Ganymede.
Albion wrote Zeus a note saying that Ganymede had joined a militia of anti-Castro Cubans being put together by U.S. Vice-President Richard M. Nixon and couldn’t be located.
Cody then went to Rosa’s dressing room and knocked on her door.
Rosa opened the door.
Albion entered.
Rosa closed the door.
In the dining area Ganymede sat wearing an I LIKE IKE button and dark sunglasses and got his palm read by a blind fortune teller.
Mistaking Ganymede for Fidel Castro, the blind fortune teller told him that he’d one day have an idiot son who would become Prime Minister of Canada.
And inside the dressing room, Rosa personally sang Auld Lang Syne to Carson Cody Albion.
-A Carson Cody Albion
Private Eye Short Story
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 28th
2021.
Rita Hayworth and Harvey Tallbanger
Rita Hayworth was sitting there with an old fashioned box camera on her lap.
Suddenly she looked up and noticed a tall handsome 6 foot 8 tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears looking at her.
What was in that glass of orange juice and vodka she had drunk?
Other than orange juice and vodka.
Galliano perhaps?
The bunny rabbit approached her.
“You can see me?” The bunny rabbit (whose name was Harvey Tallbanger) asked as he introduced himself.
“I can,” She answered.
“Put the blame on Mame,” actor Jimmy Stewart entered the studio even though he wasn’t making a film there.
“Jimmy Stewart, Harvey,” Rita said, “Harvey, Jimmy Stewart.”
“Who is this Harvey?” Stewart asked.
“You can’t see him?” Rita asked.
“Obviously not,” Stewart replied, “Has being married to Orson the Boy Wonder suddenly driven you crazy?”.
Harvey Tallbanger turned and exited.
He had been scheduled to throw a cream pie in one of the film studio heads’ faces.
“No,” Rita said to Stewart as she stood up to go, “And be careful what you say. You may make a film with that Harvey someday.”
Elsewhere.
“It’s a wonderful life,” one of the secretaries remarked after the film studio head got a cream pie in his face.
And so ended another of 11-year-old Nicholas Carlyle’s winter wonderland dreams.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 4th
2021.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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