Westminster Terror Attack, Global Nuclear War and Most Livable Cities

August 14, 2018 at 10:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Westminster Terror Attack, Global Nuclear War and Most Livable Cities

CNN’s Anderson Cooper (speaking directly into the camera): Meanwhile a high ranking police source in London has told CNN News that the suspect arrested in today’s terrorist motor vehicle attack running down cyclists near the Westminster Parliament in the British capital has specifically requested that British MP Renfield R. Renfield not be allowed to interrogate him.
The suspect is said to be extremely terrified at the prospect of a Renfieldian interrogation and had put in a special request to the Prime Minister’s office that Sir Renfield not be allowed to interrogate him.
The same police source told CNN News that “some bleeding heart liberal in the Prime Minister’s office acceded to the suspect’s request.”
Sir Renfield R. Renfield MP has apparently cemented a reputation in the world of criminals, terrorists and drug dealers as being utterly ruthless in his interrogations of and even slow and painfully administered deaths of the individuals who inhabit the dark underbelly and shadowlands of the world global community.

. . .

Rosalynn Carter looked at her husband former U.S. President Jimmy Carter who looked ashen white when he put down his smart phone.

“Who was that who was calling, dear?” Rosalynn asked.

“I’d rather not say just yet,” Carter gulped, “I’m still having trouble accepting the gist of the conversation. I can’t believe that even someone like him would even ask such a question and even contemplate 🤔 such an action.”

“What was the question he asked?” Rosalynn wanted to know.

“He asked me whether I thought it was possible in all sincerity and honesty for the United States to win a global thermonuclear war and emerge both relatively intact and supremely triumphant,” Jimmy answered, “I tried telling him that it wasn’t but he didn’t seem convinced.”

Carter looked at the TV screen in their living room where Donald Trump’s smiling image appeared waving to supporters and giving the thumbs up.

. . .

“So,” Amadeus Emanon munched on potato chips, “I hear that the Economist Magazine Intelligence Unit has just come out with its list of the world’s Top 10 most livable cities.”

“Yes, I read that. Apparently the city of Calgary made #4 on the list of the Top 10,” Renfield was reading a magazine article about bloated cows 🐄, “a friend of mine who lives in Calgary said that Calgary might have made #1 on the list if there weren’t so many fat ugly blimps living in the city. The sight of such repulsive looking creatures, he tells me, succeeds in putting an immense damper on what is otherwise a magnificently beautiful city.”

“That’s very sad,” Amadeus reached for a glass of coconut 🥥 milk 🥛.

“It is,” Renfield put aside his slice of cheese after reading the article on bloated cows 🐄, “maybe if Pan Goatee increases his pace by quite a lot, Calgary might win the #1 spot next year.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 14th
2018.

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Pan Goatee’s Shopping Trip Ends In Beheadings

August 13, 2018 at 10:47 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee’s Shopping Trip Ends In Beheadings

DARPA contract assassin and genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking down an aisle when a fat ugly blimp of a high school girl approached him.

He immediately beheaded the fat ugly creature.

The girl’s father gasped.

Pan Goatee walked up to the man, “I presume you’re the degenerate responsible for producing that botched job of sexual intercourse.”

He likewise beheaded the fat ugly blimp’s father.

He then turned his attention to the fat ugly teen blimp’s more beautiful sister and the beheaded male shopper’s younger daughter.

“You’re pretty,” Pan Goatee admitted, “but just on the off chance you’re carrying your father or mother’s ugly gene, I have to do this for the aesthetic future of the world. I believe pre-emptive strike was the term George W. Bush used.”

He cut off the pretty girl’s head.

. . .

Donald Trump sat at his desk in the Oval Office shampooing his hair with a blow torch and wondered how anyone could possibly question his sanity.

Like the latest disgruntled former White House staffer had done in a book she had just published.

Suddenly a charcoal burnt Black Hand appeared on the desk in front of him and communicated telepathically with the sitting U.S. President.

Trump stood up and nodded, “I understand and will do just what you suggest.”

. . .

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal wearing a scarlet red evening dress covered with a charcoal black mantle was standing on a rock at the Cova da Iria in Fatima, Portugal 🇵🇹.

She was waiting for three adult male transgendered goatherds to show up at 12 noon as she had an important message to give them.

She checked the sundial watch on her wrist at 2:30 🕝 PM and decided to give up waiting.

Unbeknownst to her, the 3 goatherds had been strangled by a Portuguese professional arm wrestler and amateur phrenologist who had recently come down with food poisoning after eating a carton of bad feta cheese that he had purchased.

The mishap caused him to be disqualified from the World Championships after he had thrown up on both his opponents and the tournament judges.

Allatallahbel then ascended into the air and magically transported herself to the Vatican in Rome where she occupied the luxury papal apartment that Pope Francis had refused to occupy from the start of his Pontificate (humbly choosing to occupy one of the luxury guest rooms instead).

While there, she received a fax on her fax machine.

The fax was of a treaty for a proposed new Axis of Evil to be signed between her and Santa Muerte (the Mexican female spectral figure of Saint Death who was actually Samael the Talmudic Archangel of Death dressed in drag) and Q-Amon the forgotten but literally immortal Egyptian Pharaoh who was the secret hand behind the Columbian drug cartels.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 13th
2018.

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Miss World India Manushi Chhillar, Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Renfield Hacks Istanbul Movie Theatre

August 11, 2018 at 9:14 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Miss World India Manushi Chhillar, Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Renfield Hacks Istanbul Movie Theatre

“I hear Donald Trump has actually done something you might agree with,” Amadeus Emanon remarked to British MP Renfield R. Renfield while in the process of eating a Mexican burrito 🌯.

“What’s that?” Renfield asked as he carved up several slices of turkey 🦃 for the sandwich he was eating.

“He’s pissed off Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan,” Amadeus watched Renfield slice through the turkey as if it was butter, “he’s doubled the tariffs on Turkish steel and aluminum over the Erdogan government’s treatment of American pastor Andrew Brunson.”

“Wow, Trump has done something right for a change. No doubt however this action will upset the namby pamby New York Times and Washington Post,” Renfield grabbed a fruit salad from the refrigerator.

“Erdogan said that Trump is “exchanging your strategic partner in NATO for a priest” , “ Amadeus noted while eating some Brussels sprouts sprinkled with Holy Water.

“What a total moron,” Renfield ate a nut 🥜, “doesn’t he know that there are no priests in American Evangelical Protestant denominations?”.

“I guess Erdogan wrote an article in the New York Times,” Amadeus watched Renfield devour both the carved turkey and the fruit salad, “in which he said that unless the U.S. changed course, Turkey 🇹🇷 would look for new friends and allies elsewhere.”

“Oh gosh,” Renfield remarked sarcastically, “I’m really going to shed tears if Erdogan controlled Turkey leaves NATO,” and promptly decided not to peel an onion to put in his Borscht soup.

. . .

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan was as pleased as punch.

Even though as a fanatically devout Muslim, he didn’t drink.

Some months ago, Erdogan had heard about a film biography of Pope Francis being released worldwide in movie theatres.

Erdogan immediately decided that what was good enough for the non-Catholic Pope was definitely good enough for him the future Global Islamic Caliph and future Sultan of the Revived Ottoman Empire.

So he hired a Turkish filmmaker to make a film biography about him.

After eating a dish of Conceited Pie 🥧 (a new recipe concocted by a Washington DC chef inspired by the Donald Trump Presidency) at an Istanbul restaurant, Erdogan then walked to the Istanbul movie theatre where the world premiere of his film biography was being shown.

The other guests invited to the film premiere were all members of the Turkish Justice and Development Party’s Association of Ottoman Prison Guards.

Erdogan received a standing ovation from the all male crowd of prison guards.

After shouting in unison, “Hail Erdogan” and then standing for the Turkish National Anthem, they sat down to enjoy the film.

Unbeknownst to them, British MP Renfield R. Renfield had found out about the premiere of the film and had hacked into the movie theatre computerized projector 📽 and had substituted for the Erdogan film biography a videotaped hour and a half lecture delivered by Miss World India 🇮🇳 Manushi Chhillar (a medical student) on the varying degrees of menstrual hygiene around the world.

For some reason, the substituted film did not go over well with either Mr. Erdogan or the Ottoman Turkish prison guards.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 11th
2018.

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Pan Goatee Gets The Vincent Price Seal of Approval and Cthulhu Overhears Trump’s Plan To Build Third Temple

August 9, 2018 at 10:37 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Pan Goatee Gets The Vincent Price Seal of Approval and Cthulhu Overhears Trump’s Plan To Build Third Temple

Pan Goatee was riding the train 🚊 when he noticed a very beautiful young Asian woman wearing a short skirt board the train and sit behind him.

Sadly Pan had to get off at the next stop.

Otherwise he’d have talked to her and taken her to a fried rice 🍛 dinner if she was Chinese, a sushi 🍣 buffet if she was Japanese or a nice Bibimbap place if she was Korean.

He went to the exit which was right behind her and noticed a fat ugly white blimp standing at the exit.

Like most of the fat ugly blimps in the city, they were mainly white which of course was the ultimate proof that the “whites are the master race” theory was a total lie.

Pan Goatee suspected that it was because most of the airheaded females in the white race had imbibed heavily from the raw sewage water of radical feminism that caused them to become so fat and ugly.

Goatee from talking to men in their 50s, 60s and 70s noted that they all claimed that the vast majority of white women weren’t so fat and ugly 50 years ago.

It was only with the advent of the 1970s and radical feminism in the Western world that obesity started to balloon (quite literally) among white females and their faces took on the shape of vastly decomposed watermelons and the most grotesque misshapen pumpkins.

Goatee took out his astral laser machete and promptly cut off the fat ugly blimp’s head and then kicked it down the aisle where it went out a far door and all the way to the city’s northwest end where it scored the winning field goal in a Calgary Stampeders CFL practice match among the team players.

The quarterback of the winning side of the team after picking up the “ball” immediately thought of sending a letter of complaint to the CFL league commissioner about how the quality of the league’s footballs 🏈 seemed to have radically deteriorated this season.

Pan Goatee then cut a hole in the roof of the train with his laser machete and exited that way.

As he exited, he noticed the head of the Calgary Tourist Authority walk by so he promptly beheaded the man.

The price the villain would have to pay for not warning tourists about the humanly (?) bovine cows (who had been the object of UFO 🛸 abductions who then returned the product to earth but failed to get their money back for their troubles) among the city’s female populace.

. . .

Cthulhu had spent the day in San Francisco Bay eating a group of lobster fishermen.

This meal on Cthulhu’s part immensely pleased Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster in London who had a vision of it.

After eating the last lobster fisherman with a pillar of salt he found on the beach (some ET woman had turned around to look back on San Francisco and the resulting radical change in bodily biochemistry occurred), he belched loudly and lay down to take a nap 💤.

With his expert hearing, he overheard a secret conversation taking place among high-ranking Republicans on the Bohemian Grove estate.

“Do you mean to say that Donald Trump intends to build the Third Temple on his own?” Asked a shocked voice.

“Yes,” said the other man, “for some leading Jewish rabbis and scholars throughout the centuries have prophesied that it will be a descendant of Edom who will build the Third Temple whereas it was descendants of David who built the first two. And Trump with the grandiose Messianic tendencies he has believes that he will be the descendant of Edom to do so.”

“But won’t the Palestinians and various Islamic authorities in the Middle East object?” The man with the Austrian accent (noted for being a bodybuilder, an actor and a state governor) asked the man with the German accent (noted for being a former U.S. Secretary of State).

“Of course, but has Donald Trump ever given a damn what other people think or the objections they might raise?” The former Secretary of State asked.

“Oh shit,” said the former bodybuilder, “does that mean we’ll soon be saying to Mother Earth 🌏 Gaia, Hasta la vista, baby?”.

. . .

After listening to the Michael Jackson song Thriller, British MP Renfield R. Renfield slept.

In his dream, Vincent Price was talking to a raven.

“Me thinks, friend Raven, that Pan Goatee is working zealously to make this world a more beautiful place. For no male mortal can resist the beheading of the uglo.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 9th
2018.

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Sadako Shado Tamashi

August 8, 2018 at 10:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Literature, Movies, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Short stories, Short Story, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

Sadako Shado Tamashi

The archivist at the British Museum was looking through a bunch of early 20th Century Japanese photographs.

He came across a photo of a very beautiful young Japanese woman wearing a long white dress.

He stopped to look at her.

In fact, he looked at her for quite a while.

To his amazement, a heart ❤️ suddenly appeared in the photograph.

The word Yokubo appeared in the heart.

What the Hell? Archivist Moreau thought to himself.

What does Yokubo mean?

Moreau turned to the next photograph which was of a Japanese print of a Japanese Christ being crucified on the Cross.

That’s interesting, Moreau thought to himself, not too many of those pictures in Japan.

The next photo was of the same beautiful woman he had looked at a few photos earlier.

But now her long black hair was covering her entire face.

And blood (the colour red) actually appeared on her dress in the black and white photograph.

She was pointing a finger at someone (almost as if she was pointing at him from the photo).

Behind her was a word on the wall written in blood (again blood red showed up in the black and white photo).

The word was KAN’IN.

The next morning they found Moreau’s body dead in the photo archives of the British Museum.

His throat had been slashed from ear to ear as if he had just revealed Freemasonic secrets.

All the photos were gone.

Save for one black and white photo showing a woman in a long white dress with long black hair over her face standing over the body and pointing an accusatory finger at him.

The woman had very long sharp fingernails on her accusatory hand.

The nails were blood red (and red actually showed up in the B and W photo).

-A short story written by
Christopher
Wednesday August 8th
2018.

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The Reason Cthulhu Is In California and Trump Gets Advice From Gen. Pinochet’s Ghost On Military Coup

August 7, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Literature, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Reason Cthulhu Is In California and Trump Gets Advice From Gen. Pinochet’s Ghost On Military Coup

The Times of London sent their top ghostly spectral reporter Belvedere the ghost of the ghost white salamander to San Francisco to interview the Lovecraftian Great Old One god monster Cthulhu who had recently showed up in San Francisco Bay.

Other reporters had tried to interview the beast from the sea 🌊 but they ended up being eaten by the Creature from R’ lyeh (an underwater city in the South Pacific).

On hearing of the number of American mainstream reporters who were eaten by Cthulhu, Donald Trump tweeted, “See even Cthulhu thinks that the media is the enemy of the American people. And he can probably shoot through a hoop a lot better than Lebron James.”

An hour later Melania Trump tweeted, “Cthulhu is an inhuman monster.”

A leading American divorce lawyer then tweeted, “Who wants to grab me first? The Donald or Melania? Call me as Blondie once said.”

Since Belvedere was already a ghost, he didn’t have to worry about being eaten by Cthulhu although that didn’t stop Cthulhu from trying.

Finally in order to shut the pesky ghostly ghost white salamander Belvedere with his annoying questions up, Cthulhu finally broke down and revealed the reason for his trip to California.

“I want to see the Sacred Riana in the quarterfinals of the 2018 America’s Got Talent competition,” Cthulhu explained, “I watched her win the 2017 Asia’s Got Talent competition last year via underwater satellite TV in my cage in R’lyeh. Never have I been so turned on by anyone in hundreds of millions of millennia. I thought all this time I had become totally celibate. Which is why Lovecraft called me the High Priest of the Great Old Ones. He thought I was a Great Old One equivalent of Pope Hildebrand (aka Pope Gregory VII who reigned from April 22nd 1073-May 25th 1085) and thought that since celibacy was good enough for him, it was good enough for all the clergy in the West. I must confess I really didn’t have any sexual feelings until I watched the Sacred Riana in the 2017 Asia’s Got Talent competition.”

“I think you told me way more information than what I actually wanted to know,” Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander turned even whiter than his usual ghostly white self.

The Sacred Riana terrifies Mel B. On America’s Got Talent 2018.

. . .

“Who are you?” Donald Trump asked the ghostly spectral figure of the General who only seemed to speak Spanish, “This is why we need to build a wall. Are you the fellow who put all those Mexican drug dealers’ heads on those spikes in the White House Rose Garden recently? I must admit they helped my morning bowel movement considerably but still I don’t really relish having the crap scared out of me.”

“I am the ghost of Gen. Augusto Pinochet,” the spectre explained in Shakespearean English finally, “confined both day and night to fast in fires 🔥 until the foul crimes done in my days of nature are burnt and purged away. Unfortunately for me, that’s going to last from here until eternity.”

“So what are you doing here in the Oval Office then?” Trump asked.

“Hades the Greek god and guardian of the Underworld released me temporarily,” Gen. Pinochet’s ghost explained, “Pope Francis seems to get on Hades’ nerves with all his claims about Hellish Tartarus not existing. Many in the celestial council of small-g gods are starting to think that Hades is falling down on the job. So since Hades dislikes Pope Francis and Pope Francis happens to dislike you, Hades released me to give you advice.”

“Advice on what?” Trump looked in the mirror and wondered if the Chilean military dictator might be able to recommend a good hair product for more natural looking hair colour.

“On how to organize a military coup d’état and seize power just on the off chance the Robert Mueller probe does turn up something and Congress decides to impeach you,” Gen. Pinochet’s ghost explained.

“Beg your pardon, sir,” Lexington the Presidential butler and valet opened the Oval Office door, “but former Secretary of State Dr. Henry Kissinger is on line 1. He has just had a dream about a 1950s Mamie Van Doren 3-D motion picture that he’d like to discuss with you.”

“Is that the one where the movie announcer in the ad trailer for it says She’ll knock both your eyes out?” Trump helped himself to some left over Mexican spicy 🌶 breasts that Lexington had prepared for him this past weekend.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 7th
2018.

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Gali-Gula Proposes An NRC Contract Assassin, Cthulhu On California Coast and The 3 Fates of Greek Mythology

August 6, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Gali-Gula Proposes An NRC Contract Assassin, Cthulhu On California Coast and The Three Fates of Greek Mythology

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was feeling depressed.

The reason?

Deteriorating relations with Saudi Arabia 🇸🇦.

Canada had called for the release of Saudi-American woman human rights campaigner Samar Badawi from jail after being arrested by the so-called “reform” government of asshole Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman.

Saudi Arabia over the protest froze all trade with Canada and expelled Canada’s ambassador to Saudi Arabia 🇸🇦.

One of the Saudi government’s verified Twitter accounts showed an image of a Saudi plane flying towards Toronto’s famed CN Tower about to crash into it (thus supporting British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s theory that some high Saudi government officials secretly backed Osama bin Laden and the 9/11 attacks).

The tweet was later deleted but had been caught by Canadian Government computer screenshots.

Inhaling marijuana smoke breathed out by Strawberry Fields Forever the Canadian Prime Minister’s pot smoking desert cactus 🌵 plant inside the greenhouse, Gali-Gula the ET gray from Nibiru appeared to the pot inhaler Justin Trudeau and suggested that the NRC (National Research Council of Canada) create an NRC equivalent of DARPA contract assassin Pan Goatee who will conduct assassinations on behalf of the Canadian government.

Justin replied that was a good idea and said in the meantime that he was going to ask British MP Renfield R. Renfield to pay a visit to Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman given Renfield’s recent triumphant victories over the Russian Wolves nationalist motorcycle gang and the Mexican Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel.

. . .

Cthulhu the several hundred metres tall giant octopus 🐙, dragon 🐉 and human (first foreseen by early 20th Century American horror writer H. P. Lovecraft) was approaching the City of San Francisco, California.

“Oh shit,” said Democratic Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi on the deck of her boat when she saw him approach and proceeded to do just that.

Giving a whole new meaning to the term Poop 💩 Deck.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield wearing a t-shirt that said PSYCHOPATHS 4 GOOD (that was bought for him by New Orleans vampiress Angelique Dumont after his recent massacre and mass bodily dismemberment of the entire Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel) and a pair of Pan Goatee image emblazoned Hawaiian style boxer shorts was giving a speech to the Annual August Summer Banquet of the London Press Club.

Sitting in the audience were the 3 beautiful Fates of Greek Mythology- all of whom had become quite smitten with Renfield.

Renfield began his speech, “In the words of a great wise man… a journey of a thousand miles always begins… with a trip to the washroom.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 6th
2018.

The 3 Fates of Greek Mythology listening to British MP Renfield R. Renfield speak at the Annual August Summer Banquet of The London Press Club

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Renfield Makes Minced Mincemeat Out of The Disciples of Santa Muerte

August 4, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Science, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield Makes Minced Mincemeat Out of The Disciples of Santa Muerte

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was disappointed to read on his BBC News App that the drone attack assassination attempt on Venezuelan 🇻🇪 President Nicolás Maduro had failed.

Renfield had asked Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher to design some explosive drones for him which the great scientist had done.

Renfield had then sent the explosive drones to his ally the Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez who along with Renfield had long been plotting the overthrow of the Marxist despot Maduro.

Francesca had hired some anti-Maduro Venezuelan Air Force Officers to carry out the attack.

Sadly they had failed.

Oh well, Renfield thought bitterly, if you want the job done, you generally have to do it yourself.

What with plotting against both Russia’s Putin and Turkey’s Erdogan in Europe, he had very little time these days to go to Latin America and overthrow or successfully assassinate Maduro.

A fact which he had often complained to his spectral friend the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill about.

New Orleans Vampiress Angelique Dumont cleared her throat.

For the British MP was supposed to be having dinner with her and her boyfriend the British concert pianist Amadeus Emanon in a London pub.

Renfield remembered his manners (especially after recalling his latest session with dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes) and paid attention to Amadeus and Angelique’s discussion about the new Winnie The Pooh film the couple had just seen – Christopher Robin.

“Angelique, is that you?” A very beautiful and tearful 😢 young Mexican woman in a red rose patterned summer white dress approached her.

“Conchetta?” Angelique rose to hug and comfort her friend, “what’s wrong?”.

“I just received a text message from my best friend Artemisia back home,” Conchetta wept, “My entire family- mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins- in fact the whole entire village have been wiped out- massacred by the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel. Somehow miraculously Artemisia managed to escape- the only one in the entire village who managed to escape.”

Conchetta tearfully managed to relate the whole story to the trio.

Amadeus and Angelique sat there in a total state of shock.

As did Renfield.

Who also was overtaken by the greatest surge of anger.

“Amadeus, do you know if the Boss,” Renfield was referring to his former and Amadeus’ current employer the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “still has his private Concorde jet on standby at Heathrow?”.

“I believe so,” said Amadeus.

Renfield excused himself paying his share of the bill.

He then rushed back to the Set Mansion in West London where he picked up some special supplies.

On his way out to Heathrow in the limousine, he conversed with friends he knew in the various world intelligence services about the Disciples of Santa Muerte.

He boarded Set’s private Concorde jet and within a few hours arrived in Mexico 🇲🇽 only kilometres from the colossal villa that served as the headquarters of the Disciples of Santa Muerte.

. . .

The Disciples of Santa Muerte didn’t know what hit them.

It had in fact been a Tesla sound wave pulse recently re-discovered by Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The sound wave paralyzed all the Disciples preventing them from moving.

It didn’t however shut off their nerve and pain sensations or vocal cords for that matter as Renfield could tell from the fact that as he slowly and painfully dismembered them bit by bit, he could still hear a small portion of their loud and shrill agonizing screams through the soundproof earplugs he was wearing.

Renfield’s friend the ghost of Orson Welles was on hand with his ghostly cameras and ghostly lighting crews to film the gory and bloody and excruciatingly slow and painful 😣 bodily dismemberments which the enormous talent of a film director would upload to YouTube later.

Renfield took the decapitated heads of all the slain Disciples of Santa Muerte and posted them on spikes in the Rose Garden of the White House on top of the garden wall underneath a large banner that read I Never Promised You A Rose Garden.

The dismembered hands he put in the glass display case of the expensive gloves department in the exclusive Saks Fifth Avenue store in New York City.

The dismembered feet he put in an expensive Nike shoes display in the same Saks Fifth Avenue store.

Thighs and legs he put outside KFC stores in San Francisco and Los Angeles.

Arms and elbows he put inside display cases in the Baseball ⚾️ Hall of Fame in the village of Cooperstown, New York.

The armless, legless and headless carcasses of cadavers he put outside a Planned Parenthood clinic in Chicago underneath a banner that read Just On The Extremely Minuscule Off Chance You Happen To Run Out of Human Body Parts To Sell To Global Food Conglomerates and Pharmaceutical Companies.

. . .

Q-Amon the great sorcerer and former Egyptian Pharaoh had one literal Hell of a massive bowel movement on his Columbian cocaine plantation when he heard about the wholesale slaughter of every single member of the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel in Mexico 🇲🇽.

Renfield’s action was immediately publicly condemned by Pope Francis and his lavender clique of flashy flaming Liberace style priests for failing to take into account the personal nobility of soul of all the drug gang members.

The action also launched an intense public debate among commentators, analysts and self-proclaimed journalists on YouTube on whether or not this new Machiavellian and Genghis Khan Style approach to the War On Drugs might prove more effective than the limpwristed style approach to the War on Drugs that had been conducted by the U.S. government and its allies for the past 35 years which seemed to be going absolutely nowhere.

One Fox News commentator even speculated (for which he was soundly condemned in a tweet by Donald Trump) on whether this new Renfieldian approach to the Latin American drug cartels might deem the Trumpian need to build a wall on the southern border of the U. S. totally unnecessary.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 4th
2018.

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Santa Muerte Dances Among The Corpses In The Streets

August 3, 2018 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Santa Muerte Dances Among The Corpses In The Street

In the Mexican village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe, there was not a living soul on the streets.

Just a bunch of bodies of men, women and children with their heads, arms and legs hacked off.

They had decided as a village to take a stand against the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel which controlled the entire province.

The result was they met their deaths in a most cruel and inhumane manner.

Q-Amon the secret head behind the Colombian drug cartels had flown from Columbia into Mexico to make a personal example of this village.

The message would run clear throughout the entire Americas- do not cross the drug cartels.

Santa Muerte (the female Saint Death- actually Samael the Talmudic Archangel of Death dressed in drag as a spectral drag queen) came to the village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe to celebrate 🎉 🎊.

He had gone to the city of Chihuahua to pick up the haunted mannequin known as La Pascualita.

La Pascualita was also called the Corpse Bride of Mexico.

She had stood on display in a store window for over 80 years in the city of Chihuahua having made its storefront debut on March 25th 1930.

The female shop owner at the time had recently lost her daughter in a wedding day incident.

She had been bitten by a black widow spider 🕷 hours before she was due to wed her fiancé.

Some locals claimed the mannequin in the window was not a real mannequin at all but the shop owner’s dead daughter stuffed and perfectly preserved.

They said the mannequin was the spitting image of the daughter.

The mannequin was said by locals to dance in the store at night.

The mannequin would change positions in the shop window with no one near it.

Her eyes would look right at passing onlookers.

The mannequin’s hands are very realistic:

She even has varicose veins on her legs.

Santa Muerte (in the days when he/she was still Samael the masculine Archangel of Death) had fallen in love with 😍 Pascualita and had intended to raise objections at the wedding ceremony requesting that she marry him instead.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith the jealous ex-wife of Samael (she had been married to Samael many millenia ago) appeared to Pascualita and said she’d lend the bride to be her valuable necklace.

Pascualita gratefully accepted.

The trouble was the necklace had a living black widow spider 🕷 attached to it which bit Pascualita and she died.

With Pascualita the haunted mannequin and bride corpse of Mexico in his/her arms, Santa Muerte/Samael danced with her in the bloody streets of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe amongst the corpses.

As they danced, Santa Muerte sang that old David Bowie song Let’s Dance 💃🏻,

Let’s dance (Santa Muerte bowed to Pascualita)
Put on your red shoes (Pascualita dipped her black shoes into the red blood turning them red 👠) and dance the blues (the ghost of one of Mexico’s leading Elvis impersonators danced in blue suede shoes)
Let’s dance (Pascualita and Santa Muerte dance with one another)
To the song they’re playing on the radio (the ghost of a 1930 General Electric GE H-51 console radio appeared and played the Soviet National Anthem as heard on Radio Moscow)
Let’s sway
(Pascualita and Santa Muerte sway back and forth in the desert midnight breeze)
Sway through the crowd to an empty space
(But there are so many bodies on the street, they’re unable to find an empty place)

If you say run (they run to a holographic image of Donald Trump’s proposed wall beamed to earth by NASA satellite 🛰)
I’ll run with you (Santa Muerte chases after her like a ballet dancer in Swan Lake)
And if you say hide
We’ll hide (Edward Hyde of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde fame appears alongside them)
Because my love for you
would break my heart into two
(The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec appears with an obsidian knife and cuts Santa Muerte’s heart out ripping it in two and feeding both pieces to her spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl)
If you should fall into my arms
And tremble like a flower
(Pascualita falls into his arms, trembles and then dies and 88 year old roses 🌹 fall out of her wedding dress and crumble into dust which is blown away by the desert wind)

Let’s dance
Let’s dance
For fear your grace should fall
(A silver cross falls from Pascualita’s neck)
Let’s dance
For fear tonight is all
(Demons emerge from the desert and start to feed on the corpses in the village streets)
Let’s sway
(Santa Muerte sways with Pascualita’s limp corpse in his arms)
You could look into my eyes
(Pascualita raises her head and looks into Santa Muerte’s eyes)
Let’s sway
(They sway back and forth like candles flickering in the wind as a figure who looks like Sir Elton John appears and starts to weep)
Under the moonlight, this serious moonlight
(The former Egyptian Pharaoh Q-Amon appears on a distant hill, turns into a jackal and howls in the moonlight as blood falls from his fangs on to the village below)

And if you say run
I’ll run with you…

(Rivers of blood run and flow through the streets of the village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe)

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 3rd 2018.

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