Erdogan Targets Kurds

January 20, 2018 at 9:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Erdogan Targets Kurds

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan was discussing with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith the air bombing campaign he had unleashed against the Kurds in the Afrin region of northern Syria.

The combined air and ground campaign that Erdogan called Operation Olive Branch with his rather bizarre and macabre sense of humour had begun earlier today at 14:00 GMT.

It targeted the Kurdish YPG (Kurdish People’s Protection Units) that the Erdogan government labelled a “bunch of terrorists” (as they called all people who were opposed to Erdogan’s increasingly despotic and dictatorial rule).

Lilith was hoping that once Erdogan had finished taking out the Kurds, he’d then attack Israel and take out the Jews.

Then Lilith would finally get her revenge against the Jewish people for the libels she felt they told about her in the Babylonian Talmud.

But in the meantime despite Lilith’s urging, Erdogan was concentrating his efforts on the Kurds.

“These people are standing in the way of my making myself Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire,” Erdogan clenched his fists.

“Wouldn’t Trump be worried about you making yourself Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire?” Lilith asked.

“Oh, he might tweet about his manhood in one of his Twitter tweets and use for backup a possible Twitter endorsement from porn star Stormy Daniels to that effect but other than that he’ll do nothing,” Erdogan asserted.

“Isn’t there anyone in any of the NATO countries who’s clued in to what you’re doing?” Lilith asked.

“Well that newly elected British MP Renfield R. Renfield is,” Erdogan admitted, “which is why it was most unfortunate that members of the German Opera Lovers’
Association weren’t successful in murdering Mr. Renfield for murdering the Liebestod from Tristan und Isolde in the British House of Commons last night.”

Meanwhile back in London, Renfield was chuckling over a newspaper headline he was reading about today’s feminist march in Washington DC – HEFTY HIDEOUS HARPIES HOWL HYSTERICALLY.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 20th
2018.

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Renfield Sings The Liebestod From Tristan und Isolde

January 19, 2018 at 9:04 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Humour, Music, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Renfield Sings The Liebestod From Tristan und Isolde

Various Opposition parties in the British House of Commons were hoping to delay a vote on a portion of Stage One of the Brexit bill by arranging a filibuster this evening.

They agreed the person to deliver the filibuster would be newly elected British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Renfield decided to filibuster the vote by singing a song from a German opera since he didn’t figure any British MP had ever done that before.

And this would be another way to get himself Sir Renfield R. Renfield MP into the history books.

Renfield went home to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion to pick up a musical score and lyric sheet from Amadeus Emanon, who being a concert pianist, had several.

“I decided to sing a song from a German opera to filibuster this bill,” Renfield announced to Amadeus as he went through the latter’s musical score and lyric sheets.

“But you don’t speak German,” Amadeus pointed out.

“True,” Renfield admitted, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t sing it.”

Renfield went through the musical score and lyric sheets.

“Hm, this sounds interesting,” Renfield picked out one, “the Liebestod from Richard Wagner’s 1859 opera Tristan und Isolde.”

Renfield had left before Amadeus could point out to the parliamentarian that the Liebestod was sung by a female lead in the opera being the climactic end of the opera as the heroine Isolde sings over the hero Tristan’s dead body.

Later as Amadeus Emanon watched the BBC Evening Late News that night, the announcer announced, “And now this just in… a group of armed men with machine guns has stormed into the public gallery of the House of Commons and fired their bullets down on the floor into the direction of an Opposition MP who was trying to filibuster against a procedural bill on government Brexit legislation by singing the Liebestod from Wagner’s Tristan und Isolde.
Apparently the armed men are not members of a terrorist group but members of the German Opera Lovers’ Association.
According to a report from the BBC Culture critic who is at the scene, “the bullets have unfortunately missed Mr. Renfield…”
And this just in from Berlin, the government of Chancellor Angela Merkel have just announced that they have officially disinvited Mr. Renfield from visiting Germany πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ next month…

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 19th
2018.

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Renfield and Morgana At Lumiere Festival of Light

January 18, 2018 at 9:41 pm (Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Renfield and Morgana At Lumiere Festival of Light

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his fellow Transhumanist MP Morgana Fay Lee (also known as the Welsh Vampiress Morgana) were walking across central London attending the first night of the four-night Lumiere Festival of Light.

The two MPs looked at an ice sculpture of a frog 🐸 lit up in front of the W Hotel in Leicester Square.

“Why don’t you kiss it and see if it turns into a prince πŸ‘‘?” Renfield said jokingly.

“All right,” said Morgana who had been hitting the Smirnoff vodka a bit harder than usual earlier this evening.

She kissed the ice sculpture of the frog 🐸 and sure enough it turned into a handsome prince πŸ‘‘.

“Great Scott!” Renfield shouted as a huge gust of wind blew up the kilt of a Scottish bagpiper who walked by.

“My God, a handsome prince,” Morgana swooned, “he looks like pictures I’ve seen of the Jacobite prince Bonnie Prince Charlie.”

“What do you suppose was in those fudgsicles they were handing out at the Canadian Embassy?” Asked Renfield who felt his hamster whiskers growing on his face.

“Hey, man, did you try those marijuana laced fudgsicles they were handing out at the Canadian Embassy?” Two aging hippies from California asked.

“This must be Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s contribution to Western civilization,” Renfield remarked as he fell back on the sidewalk and noticed a thousand points of lights overhead.

“Yoo-hoo, Charlie,” Morgana ran after the kilt wearing frog 🐸 turned prince πŸ‘‘.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 18th
2018.

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Renfield, Loki and The Emergency Alert Message In Hawaii

January 13, 2018 at 10:27 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Renfield, Loki and The Emergency Alert Message In Hawaii

The BBC News Announcer intoned, “As Hawaiians still cope with the trauma of the emergency alert message they got on their smart phones this morning, French President Emmanuel Macron has expressed his concern that the French baguette πŸ₯– needs to be designated as a UNESCO world heritage cultural treasure in order to ensure its authentic protection as a French cultural treasure…”

Said Renfield as he listened to the news, “The voice of the poodle is heard throughout the land” in a paraphrase of that line from the Song of Solomon, “The voice of the turtle is heard throughout the land.”

Renfield immediately got on his tablet and used his hacking and cyber intelligence gathering skills to determine who was ultimately responsible for sending out the emergency alert message to smart phone users in Hawaii that read, BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

In the Swiss Alps, the Norse trickster god Loki’s smart phone went off in his skiing chalet.

“Hello,” Loki held the phone to his ear.

“Bonjour, Monsieur Loki,” Renfield said as he took his melted ham, cheese and Hawaiian pineapple 🍍 laced baguette out of the microwave, “I hear you really enjoy those cheap drink specials you get on Waikiki Beach in Honolulu.”

“Yeah,” Loki admitted as he drank his hot toddy while looking at the Matterhorn outside his window.

“I imagine you’d no longer be getting those drink specials if Hawaiians found out who was responsible for those PTSD inducing emergency messages they got on their smart phones this morning,” Renfield used a napkin to wipe some melted cheese off his left nostril.

“What do you want?” Loki finally asked after a momentary silence.

“Funny, you should ask,” Renfield belched with great delicacy, “I wouldn’t mind a few of those millions of Norse plundered gold coins you happen to have suddenly showing up in my Swiss bank account.”

“All right,” said Loki who agreed to the transfer to buy Renfield’s silence.

As Amadeus quietly munched on his own melted Parisienne ham and Swiss cheese and Hawaiian pineapple laced baguette πŸ₯– and listened in on Renfield’s kitchen conversation, he could not help thinking that his friend Renfield did indeed have chutzpah as the rabbis would say.

For indeed it takes a lot of chutzpah to blackmail the Norse trickster god.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 13th
2018.

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The Lonely Patient: A Short Story

January 12, 2018 at 9:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Short stories, Short Story) ()

The Lonely Patient: A Short Story

The man lay on his bed in the hospital and sighed.

No visitors.

Again today.

No visitors.

No family.

No friends.

No co-workers from his long and varied career.

He had once served in a big and powerful position.

But now that he no longer had that, no one came to see him.

The only people who entered his room were nurses and orderlies.

But even they- once they had done their selected tasks in the room- quickly left.

Most of them glanced at him, grimaced and then left.

The only person who stayed and talked to him and showed genuine concern for him was his doctor.

She wasn’t his regular doctor.

She was the doctor who had been assigned to him when he was admitted to hospital.

No, not even his regular doctor visited him.

No one visited him these days.

The only one who was a constant visitor was this doctor.

She generally showed up every 45 minutes to an hour.

She always said “Hello”, gave him a warm smile as she entered the room and touched his forehead and held his hand and asked him, how he was doing?

When she left, she always turned around and smiled and said, “I’ll be back in a bit.”

And then exited.

And she always was.

Always was back in a bit.

The man himself said very little to her when she was in the room.

Very little at all.

Today at this time as she was about to leave, the man felt compelled to ask her, “I can’t help but notice. You seem to have an accent. Where are you from?”.

She turned and smiled at the man, “Haiti.”

She stood there as if waiting for some sort of response or visual acknowledgement from the man.

Instead the man just immediately turned his head and glanced away.

She left the room and gently closed the door behind her.

The man thought to himself as he continued to look at the drawn curtains on the window.

Had he not years ago once referred to Haiti as a shithole country in a rowdy meeting where he was overheard by several people making those remarks.

The man looked back towards the door.

The woman doctor who had just left the room had great nobility of character.

The man who lay lonely and alone in that hospital room did not.

For he had made his bed.

Now he must lie in it.

-A short story
written by Christopher
Friday January 12th
2018.

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Pan Goatee Wins Jack The Ripper Feminist Award

January 11, 2018 at 8:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Pan Goatee Wins Jack The Ripper Feminist Award

The Cosmic Horror Writers Association of America had voted unanimously to make satyr serial killer Pan Goatee (whose serial killing specialty was killing ugly women) the winner of this past year’s Jack The Ripper Feminist Award given to the serial killer whose actions were most at variance with the precepts of the National Organization For Women.

As Pan Goatee was about to get off the bus at the auditorium where he was to receive his award, he noticed a fat ugly looking blimp of a woman getting on at the front of the bus.

Pan immediately rushed up to the front of the bus and beheaded the woman with his machete.

He then turned back to the bus’s back door before getting off- but not before posing with a thumbs up sign for photos taken by Japanese tourists sitting at the back of the bus.

Later inside the auditorium, Pan Goatee received a standing ovation as he accepted the award.

When Donald Trump read about tonight’s awards ceremony in this evening’s National Security Intel report, the Tweeter-In-Chief (who had proclaimed himself an “awesome genius” in his most recent Twitter tweet) asked one of his aides, “Who was Jack the Ripper?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 11th
2018.

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Pan Goatee and Steve Bannon

January 9, 2018 at 8:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Pan Goatee and Steve Bannon

As Pan Goatee was going around the city cutting off the heads of ugly looking women to make the world a more aesthetically pleasing place, Donald Trump was reading the latest news to happen to Steve Bannon.

Mr. Bannon was stepping down from the Breitbart News organization he had helped build.

Taking note of the news story about satyr serial killer Pan Goatee’s homicidal attacks on ugly looking women, Trump remarked, “You know what would make the perfect final end for someone who accused my family of treason? If “Sloppy Steve” (a derogatory reference to his former aide’s usually dishevelled appearance) decided he would become transgendered and the first being he encountered after his operation was none other than Pan Goatee. It would definitely spell the end of Mr. Bannon.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 9th
2018.

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Video Presentation On Sherry Valerie Hilles’ The Gothic Exorcist’s Chronicles

January 5, 2018 at 10:03 pm (Book Reviews, books, Entertainment, Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, The Supernatural) (, , , )

Video Presentation On Sherry Valerie Hilles’ The Gothic Exorcist’s Chronicles

My friend and fellow writer Sherry Valerie Hilles has recently published the 2nd volume of her GOTHIC EXORCIST’s CHRONICLES entitled The Fallen.

Volume One was entitled The Devil’s Promises.

Here is a short video presentation at YouTube about her two books:

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Agathor Christie Meets Vampiress Isis In Paris

January 4, 2018 at 10:06 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Agathor Christie Meets Vampiress Isis In Paris

The London based private eye Agathor Christie was meeting the Egyptian Vampiress Isis in a cafe along the Champs Γ‰lysΓ©es.

Agathor had been hired by Isis to spy on her brother and brother-in-law the London based ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Normally Agathor worked on such cases with his private eye partner and associate Magog Rhys Petley but last month Magog had checked himself into a clinic in Switzerland to help him treat a peculiar ailment and malady that the former Labour MP had (he turned into a werewolf during times of the full moon and a few other occasions as well).

Agathor and Magog had opened up their private eye business last summer after both men had lost their respective parliamentary seats to members of the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party (Conservative Agathor Christie had lost his Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds seat to Renfield R. Renfield and Labour’s Magog Rhys Petley had been defeated by the Welsh Vampiress Morgana also known as Morgana Fay Lee in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge).

Agathor ordered a cognac while he waited for the Vampiress Isis to show up.

She entered the cafe wearing a gold evening dress.

“Your Divine Majesty,” Agathor stood up and kissed her golden gloved leather hand.

“Mr. Christie, you have news for me?” The Vampiress Isis sat down and ordered a glass of champagne.

“I do,” Agathor nodded.

“Then you’re a good detective,” Isis smiled at him, “But then seeing as how you’re the great nephew of British mystery novelist Agatha Christie, I’m not surprised.”

Agathor Christie was indeed the great nephew of Agatha Christie (albeit she was his great aunt by marriage and not by blood).

Agathor sipped his cognac.

In the meantime, Isis helped herself to some caviar.

“So, what is this news you have to tell me?” Isis asked.

“Set is trying to find the tomb of the great Egyptian queen Cleopatra,” Agathor replied.

“Really?” Isis was quite astounded at this bit of news, “Then I shall have to beat him to it.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 4th
2018.

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Cleopatra Regenesis?

January 3, 2018 at 9:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Cleopatra Regenesis?

In the White House, Donald Trump was having a dream in which his former White House aide Steve Bannon was drinking nanite Earl Grey tea and then the latter’s head exploded.

Waking up from the dream, Trump immediately tweeted, “Steve Bannon has lost his mind.”

After tweeting, Trump went back to sleep where he dreamed that he was in a sauna with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and the two compared their respective nuclear buttons to see whose was the biggest and most powerful.

Meanwhile in London, the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, after reading Anne and Christopher Rice’s book Ramses The Damned: The Passion of Cleopatra, had asked Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher to make a genetic clone of ancient Egypt’s Queen Cleopatra (whose official title was Cleopatra VII Philopator) because Set figured that such a woman would be worth making love to.

Dr. Rocher replied that he would gladly do that except first he needed some of Cleopatra’s DNA and in order to do that, it might be helpful if Cleopatra’s tomb were found.

Set found himself in agreement with Dr. Rocher’s brilliant Sherlock Holmesian deduction and was soon on the phone to various archaeologists and Egyptologists that he knew to see if they would find Cleopatra’s tomb for him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 3rd
2018.

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