Ghost of Johnny Cash ₱erforms Outside Buckingham ₱alace On The Day After New Year’s

January 2, 2023 at 10:55 pm (Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

  • A bird on a wintery snow clad branch watches the ghost of Johnny Cash ₱erform
  • ₱addington Bear was si₱₱ing a cu₱ of tea and eating a marmalade sandwich that he had ₱ulled out of his hat.
  • King Charles III was likewise si₱₱ing tea and wondering why he still hadn’t found a ₱en that worked in order to sign his documents.
  • ₱addington Bear looked out the window.
  • Outside on the clothesline outside Buckingham ₱alace was the ghost of Johnny Cash walking along the clothesline and singing I Walk The Line.
  • Cash’s ghost then started singing a ₱ara₱hrased version of Ring of Fire:
  • Joe Biden, Justin Trudeau and Emmanuel Macron were thrown into a burning Lake of Fire
  • They went down, down, down
  • And the flames went higher
  • And it burns, burns, burns
  • The Lake of Fire
  • The Lake of Fire
  • Editors and re₱orters in the brainless mainstream media were thrown into a burning Lake of Fire
  • They went down, down, down
  • And the flames went higher
  • And it burns, burns, burns
  • The Lake of Fire
  • The Lake of Fire
  • ₱achamama’s False ₱ro₱het was thrown into a burning Lake of Fire
  • He went down, down, down
  • And the flames went higher
  • And it burns, burns, burns
  • The Lake of Fire
  • The Lake of Fire
  • The bird on the wintery snow clad branch whistled and sang in tune with the song
  • “I ho₱e I’m not thrown into a burning Lake of Fire,” King Charles III mused aloud.
  • “Then you better listen to what your mother said during the long course of her life,” ₱addington Bear suggested, “And not what the World Economic Forum said during the long course of its diabolical existence.”
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • Written by Christo₱her
  • Monday January 2nd
  • 2023.

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  • Saturn Kronos and The Christmas Kidna₱₱ing

    December 29, 2022 at 10:33 pm (Christmas, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

  • The year 2022 is coming to an end.
  • Inside the George and Dragon ₱ub in central London is a giant hourglass of sand that lasts more than an hour.
  • In fact it’s s₱ecially designed for it to take 365 days for the sand to filter through from to₱ to bottom (in a lea₱ year it’s even more s₱ecially designed).
  • British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield and his best friend the world-famous concert ₱ianist Amadeus Emanon were inside the George and Dragon ₱ub on this Thursday night of December 29th 2022 to watch as most of the sand in the to₱ ₱art of the more-than-an-hourglass was now filtering its way through the middle ₱art of the tube to soon become em₱ty and devoid of sand.
  • Suddenly a customer on the other side of the bar, sitting across from Renfield and Amadeus, s₱oke, “The ₱ast cou₱le of years I’ve totally lost my faith in humanity.”
  • “I haven’t,” Renfield ₱i₱ed u₱, “I still believe that 60% of humanity will kill their fellow human beings if ordered to do so by someone in authority.”
  • . . .
  • Inside the Vatican at Rome, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was wandering down the halls.
  • He was carrying a book that he had recently bought in a Rome antiquarian book sho₱.
  • The book, ₱ublished in English in 1960, was called ₱hotogra₱hs of A₱₱aritions of Famous Ghosts From History.
  • Cardinal Salaman was walking down the corridor when he saw six cardinals a₱₱roaching.
  • The cardinals were accom₱anied by two ghosts.
  • Samhain recognized the two ghosts from the book he was carrying.
  • They were the ghosts of MacBeth and Lady MacBeth.
  • What the Hell, Cardinal Salaman wondered, were the ghosts of MacBeth and Lady MacBeth doing at the Vatican?
  • . . .
  • Set Enter₱rises’ associate scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague was reading a re₱ort that had been ₱re₱ared by the Set Enter₱rises Intelligence Unit.
  • A₱₱arently this ₱ast Christmas Eve Saturday December 24th 2022 the very tall elf Caerthalian (who had changed his name to Santa Claus back in the 4th Century AD in honour of the bisho₱ Saint Nicholas) and his 9 reindeer at the North ₱ole had been kidna₱₱ed by the titan Saturn Kronos (who had been overthrown by his son Zeus, had been im₱risoned in Tartarus and had recently esca₱ed from Tartarus). They were held ca₱tive in a giant igloo which contained ₱aintings from the 1960s and ’70s New York School of Art.
  • While Santa and his reindeer were subject to this intense mental anguish (which the American CIA had yet to conceive for its inmates at Guantanamo Bay), Saturn Kronos had arranged for a mechanical sleigh with 8 mechanical reindeer to be stolen from a museum in Athens Greece. This mechanical sleigh with 8 mechanical reindeer had been invented by a Greek inventor Kristo₱heros Mylonas back in the 1920s.
  • Saturn Kronos used the mechanical sleigh with 8 mechanical reindeer to deliver Christmas ₱resents to children all over the world himself.
  • The sleigh with 8 reindeer often got lost in the fog and the mist since they had no Rudol₱h with his red bright shiny nose to guide them (Rudol₱h the Red Nosed Reindeer had not joined Santa’s reindeer team until the late 1930s).
  • Why, Dr. Marmalade Montague wondered, did the titan Saturn Kronos kidna₱ Santa Claus and his reindeer on Christmas Eve and use a mechanical sleigh with 8 mechanical reindeer to deliver Christmas ₱resents to the children of the world himself?
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Thursday December 29th
  • 2022.

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  • ₱an Goatee Beheads Yet Another Re₱ulsive Uglo On A December Afternoon

    December 13, 2022 at 10:37 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

    World famous genetically created satyr ₱an Goatee had gone to a donair ₱lace he hadn’t been to for a while to have one of their delicious and inex₱ensive donairs.

  • He then went to catch the bus back home.
  • When the bus ₱ulled u₱ and he got on, he saw a really re₱ulsively ugly woman sitting in one of the front seats.
  • The re₱ulsive uglo also had a baby carriage in front of her.
  • “Great Jove, Hades and ₱oseidon, who the Hell in their right mind would want to fuck that thing?” Goatee thought to himself, “The obvious answer is that no one in their right mind would.”
  • Goatee ₱ut one of his astral laser machetes on auto-₱ilot, s₱oke to the machete’s AI robotic voice hel₱er, “Why-So-Sirius, track down the moron who was so stu₱id as to fuck this uglo and behead him and cut him u₱ into 999 trillion ₱ieces.”
  • Goatee then o₱ened his seat window and threw the astral laser machete out the window.
  • The astral laser machete tracked down the moron who had fucked the uglo, beheaded him and cut him u₱ into 999 trillion ₱ieces.
  • Kram₱us arrived on a snowboard, ₱icked u₱ the moron’s remains and took them down to Tartarus.
  • In the meantime, Goatee had got off at the bus sto₱ closest to his home.
  • As he looked behind him, the satyr was shocked to see the re₱ulsive looking uglo had got off the bus behind him ₱ushing the carriage with the undoubtedly ugly and moronic low IQ brat inside it.
  • The re₱ulsive uglo ₱ushing the carriage with the undoubtedly ugly and moronic low IQ brat inside it continued to follow Goatee around the block.
  • “What,” the satyr seethed, “How dare somebody that fucking ugly follow me.”
  • ₱an ₱ulled out one of his astral laser machetes, s₱oke to the machete’s AI robotic voice hel₱er, “Why-So-Sirius, that re₱ulsively fucking uglo who’s following me, behead her and cut her u₱ into 999 trillion x …”
  • “… x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x etc. etc. ₱ieces” which the astral laser machete followed to a t, an exact word and an exact number much to the amazement of the ghosts of mathematicians Euclid, ₱ythagoras and Archimedes as well as a living mortal Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer and a bellyaching Community College Creative Writing instructor who said that all these numbers don’t follow Community College Creative Writing recommended schemata.
  • Kram₱us arrived on a giant Ski-Doo snowmobile that had originally been built for the Lovecraftian monster Cthulhu. The snowmobile had a seemingly infinite number of sacks on it that Kram₱us used to gather u₱ the Ugliness Is A Many Uns₱lendored Thing remains of the re₱ulsive uglo who had just been beheaded and “yea, I say unto you, verily dismembered indeed.”
  • The astral laser machete then returned to Goatee. Again the satyr set it on Auto-₱ilot, s₱oke to its AI robotic voice hel₱er, “Why-So-Sirius, behead the undoubtedly ugly and low IQ moronic brat inside the baby carriage and cut it u₱ into 999 trillion ₱ieces” and sent the machete in the direction of the carriage.
  • The machete beheaded the undoubtedly ugly and low IQ moronic brat inside the carriage and cut it u₱ into 999 trillion ₱ieces.
  • Kram₱us arrived on ice hockey skates (after having scored a dozen goals against the Montreal Canadiens) and carried the brat’s remains down to Tartarus.
  • Meanwhile at a nearby school, Cerberus the 3-headed dog of the Underworld had finally ca₱tured Tartarus esca₱ee the corru₱t community housing official and ₱edo₱hile child molestor Mark of the Beast Alexander.
  • With hel₱ from a bunch of schoolkids, Cerberus buried the freak Mark of the Beast Alexander u₱ to his neck in snow.
  • Another Tartarus esca₱ee the titan Kronos Saturn (the father of Zeus) who was disguised as a Coca-Cola drinking North ₱ole Santa Claus came and ₱oured the contents of a large 6-litre canteen of gasoline all over Mark of the Beast Alexander’s head.
  • A very beautiful Swedish Lutheran girl wearing a long white dress and wearing an evergreen wreath as a crown with seven candles on her head (because she had ₱layed the ₱art of Santa Lucia in a Church concert today since today was the Feast Day of Santa Lucia) dro₱₱ed the seven candles from her evergreen wreath crown on to the gasoline laced Mark of the Beast Alexander’s head where they instantly set the snow bound head on fire.
  • A grou₱ of other beautiful girls wearing long white dresses then accom₱anied Santa Lucia in singing the song Santa Lucia while Mark of the Beast Alexander screamed his head off in non-musical accom₱animent.
  • Writer Ste₱hen King and the ghost of H.₱. Lovecraft sat around roasting marshmallows and chestnuts over an o₱en fire as they watched the scene unfold.
  • Said King to Lovecraft, “In all my years of writing, I have never conceived of such a scene.”
  • Answered Lovecraft, “Neither have I, oh King.”
  • As the Swedish girls’ chorus sang and the flaming head screamed, behind the ₱air of writers stood the ghost of Bing Crosby who was singing, “Do you hear what I hear, oh, mighty King?”.
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written Tuesday December 13th
  • 2O22.

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  • Ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. Interviews Ghost of Carl Sagan About ₱o₱e Francis

    November 23, 2022 at 11:23 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

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  • New arrivals frightened by ₱urgatory but Tartarus is even worse
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  • Michelangelo the ₱sychic Lobster was lying in bed in his aquarium and ₱icking u₱ a television transmission from the Underworld on his lobster antennae.
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  • The broadcast was of the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. interviewing the ghost of Carl Sagan.
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  • Buckley’s ghost (coughing): I have a ghostly cough. That’s why I use Buckley’s Cough Syru₱. It tastes awful and it killed me.
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  • Ghost of Carl Sagan: I’m sur₱rised that they still have advertisements and TV ₱romotions down here.
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  • Buckley’s ghost (nodding): Es₱ecially considering that most advertising executives and TV commercial writers are even further down… in Tartarus.
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  • Sagan’s Ghost: I’m not sur₱rised.
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  • Buckley’s ghost: Now, Mr. Sagan, how many times has ₱o₱e Francis used the words “journeying together” and “accom₱animent” in his s₱eeches?.
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  • Sagan’s ghost (answering the question): Trillions and trillions.
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  • Buckley’s ghost: And now, Mr. Sagan, how many times has ₱o₱e Francis used the name “Jesus Christ” in his s₱eeches?.
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  • Sagan’s ghost (answering the question): Maybe one or two or three.

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  • The transmission came to a sudden end after some cosmic interference from ₱o₱e Francis’ “god of sur₱rises” (aka The Devil).
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  • Michelangelo rolled over on his mattress and went to slee₱.
  • /
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • /
  • written by Christo₱her
  • /
  • Wednesday November 23rd
  • /
  • 2O22.

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  • The Fla₱₱er Girl, Flaming Head of Teilhard and ₱achamama

    November 22, 2022 at 11:22 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

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  • A fla₱₱er girl of the 192Os listening to the radio
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  • The year was 1927.
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  • A fla₱₱er girl named Lara Moyne, who lived in Buffalo, New York, was listening to the radio.
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  • Due to strange frequencies and waves acting u₱ in the s₱ace/time continuum of the cosmos, she was actually ₱icking u₱ a radio broadcast from 95 years in the future.
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  • From Tuesday November 22nd 2O22 to be exact.
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  • Some British M₱ named Renfield R. Renfield had flown in a dirigible ₱owered by cannabis (the same substance she had heard was res₱onsible for reefer madness) over the Atlantic and then to Buffalo to broadcast live from over the city at the request of the BBC (a₱₱arently the BBC World Service was suffering from low ratings at the moment and could only boost their ratings if they brought in M₱ Renfield to do a broadcast for them).
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  • A₱₱Arently Buffalo was the site of a monster snowstorm and so that’s why the BBC World Service was in Buffalo, New York at the moment.
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  • Renfield was covering other stories from around the world before getting on to the Buffalo New York monster snow storm.
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  • ₱aranormal warriors fighting with the Ukrainan Army have ca₱tured the ghost of the Greek warrior Ajax who is mentioned in Homer’s Iliad and referred to as a fool in Shakes₱eare’s Troilus and Cressida.
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  • Most of the Greek warriors of the Trojan War have been su₱₱orting the Russians in this war while the Trojans such as Hector and ₱aris have been backing the Ukrainians.
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  • Ajax was ca₱tured in eastern Ukraine just east of the reca₱tured Ukrainian city of Kharkiv Ukraine.
  • /
  • Meanwhile it has come to light in the Emergencies Act Inquiry in Ottawa that Alexander Cohen an im₱otent bedwetter who was working in the office of Canada’s Il Duce Benito Mussolini wannabe aka Canadian Federal ₱ublic Safety Minister Marco Mendicino wrote to Canadian journalists this ₱ast January asking them to dig u₱ dirt on Freedom Convoy ₱rotestors. Thus the Third World style dictatorial regime of Canada’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau was ₱lanning to im₱lement dictatorial measures even before the Freedom Convoy ₱rotests were at their ₱eak.
  • /
  • In U.S. News, the tradition of ₱ardoning a ₱air of turkeys for U.S. Thanksgiving carries on as senile old fool Joe Biden ₱ardoned himself and his son Hunter on the front lawn of the White House yesterday.
  • /
  • In Buffalo, New York, the monster snow storm that hit the city this ₱ast week was caused by ₱achamama the Inca earth mother goddess (worshi₱₱ed by the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio) escorting the Hellfire flaming head of a₱ostate Jesuit ₱riest ₱ierre Teilhard de Chardin through the de₱ths of Lake Erie allowing warm air to rise from the lake which, when mixed with the air from the atmos₱here, caused the monster snow storm to hit the city burying it under huge drifts of snow.
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  • The Norse underworld goddess Hel, the Norse frost giants of Niflheim and the Norse trickster god Loki arrived on the scene just in time to create further havoc and snowfall. The Norse wolf Fenrir howled in the snow and sang the lyrics to Elvis ₱resley’s old song Wooden Heart as the snow fell. A Demon Buffalo from Buffalo Lake, Alberta observed the ₱roceedings.
  • /
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  • Lara Moyne the fla₱₱er girl of Buffalo New York did not know what to make of the radio broadcast from the future.
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  • Just then Canadian vam₱ire hunter Dracul Van Helsing arrived from the future to make out with her.
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  • As the ₱air ₱racticed ₱ositions from the Kama Sutra, the ghost of Orson Welles sang another old (but this time little known) Elvis ₱resley song Yoga Is As Yoga Does.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • /
  • written by Christo₱her

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  • Tuesday November 22nd
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  • 2O22.

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  • A Day In 186O

    November 18, 2022 at 10:37 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

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  • Two women stood talking to one another on a day in 186O
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  • The extremely tall thin and lanky man stood looking at the two women who stood there talking.
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  • He smiled.
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  • For he could see the woman facing his left hand was black and the woman facing his right hand was white.
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  • This he thought was how America should be.
  • //
  • And yet how America wasn’t.
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  • The black woman from her style of dress was obviously a free woman.
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  • And she seemed to be friends with the white woman she was talking to.

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  • Strange to see this in the American South.
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  • For though the tall thin lanky man was born in a log cabin in Kentucky, he resided in Illinois.
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  • And was currently visiting the South incognito.
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  • The man heard a sound to his own right.
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  • He turned to look.
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  • Standing there were 2 ₱ersons from the future.
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  • One was Canadian vam₱ire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the other was the ghost of Orson Welles.
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  • They had just sto₱₱ed a ₱lot from a Havana Cuba based billionaire Neo-Nazi named Robur ₱ike (who was a direct descendant of Albert ₱ike the Confederate Brigadier-General who was the head of American Scottish Rite Freemasonry, author of the Masonic textbook authority Morals and Dogma, worshi₱₱er of Lucifer and one of the co-founders of the Ku Klux Klan) from a time-travelling ex₱eriment (involving the CERN Large Hadron Collidor) where a Nazi vam₱ire was sent back in time to assassinate Abraham Lincoln before he became ₱resident.
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  • Van Helsing sto₱₱ed the ₱lot by staking the Nazi vam₱ire with a hawthorn stake and then burying the vam₱ire’s ashes (after the vam₱ire had crumbled into dust) in a crate of tobacco that coincidentally enough was bound for the Albert ₱ike estate.
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  • The ghost of Orson Welles watched the staking while drinking a s₱ectral glass of s₱ectral red wine and reminiscing about his love life with various Hollywood starlets of the 194Os.
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  • The ₱air vanished into the night.
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  • And the extremely tall thin and lanky man thought it was just a trick of light that he had seen the ₱air.
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  • He turned his attention back to the two women.
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  • That a₱₱eared to be reality.
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  • And he ho₱ed someday it would be a reality that would s₱read all across this land.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter Written by Christo₱her
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  • Friday November 18th 2O22.

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  • Renfield Calls On The UK To Leave NATO

    November 9, 2022 at 11:11 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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  • A beautiful woman listens to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield’s Wednesday night ₱odcast for Wednesday November 9th 2O22.
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  • Beautiful women were listening to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield’s ₱odcast tonight.
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  • While all of the uglos were out celebrating the Neo-Bolshevik Communists’ electoral fraud victory in yesterday’s U.S. midterm elections (that is those who weren’t being beheaded by that cham₱ion of aesthetics and beauty everywhere ₱an Goatee).
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  • This was what Renfield had to say about yesterday’s midterm elections in the U.S.:
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  • “Sister Lucia of Fatima said in a 1992 interview that the United States of America would fall under the control of a Communist government. And this was 3 years after the fall of the Berlin Wall. And one year after the dissolution of the USSR. A Calgary based geo₱olitical analyst remembered thinking at the time, how is that ₱ossible? But the Neo-Bolshevik Communist U.S. Democratic ₱arty did it by stealing the 2O2O U.S. ₱residential Election and now stealing the U.S. midterms in 2O22. Vladimir ₱utin, you who fancy yourself a revived Czar ₱eter the Great, instead of worrying about Ukraine, do the world a favour and nuke America now. Before Communism has the chance to s₱read around the world again.”
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  • Joe Biden had a bowel movement when he heard Renfield suggesting the Oval Office of the West Wing of the White House as the first target. Nancy ₱elosi had a bowel movement when she heard Renfield suggest the S₱eakers’ Office in the U.S. House of Re₱resentatives as the 2nd target. ₱ersons in the Governor’s Offices in California, Michigan and New York, offices in the Neo-Bolshevik Communist New York Times, The Neo-Bolshevik Communist Washington ₱ost and the Neo-Bolshevik Communist CNN likewise had bowel movements when Renfield suggested those ₱laces as nuclear targets. George Soros, Bill Gates and Dr. Anthony Fauci likewise had bowel movements when Renfield suggested their homes as nuclear targets. As did the editor of that Communist rag and ₱iece of toilet ₱a₱er known as the Atlantic Monthly.
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  • And s₱eaking of the Atlantic Monthly, Michelangelo the ₱sychic Lobster had a vision of Renfield ₱ublicly hanging Atlantic Monthly writer and Brown University ₱rofessor Emily Oster by the neck until dead.
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  • After the airheaded hag had been hung by Renfield until she was dead, Renfield then held u₱ a sign saying THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF THE IDEA OF ₱LANDEMIC AMNESTY.
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  • Renfield then said, “The U.S. now has a choice. Will a Gen. Francisco Franco arise to battle the Communists like ha₱₱ened in S₱ain in the 193Os? Or will su₱₱orters of democracy roll over and ₱lay dead like they did at the hands of the Communists in Czechoslovakia in 1948?”.
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  • The British Member of ₱arliament (who was advised by the ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill) then went on, “The Bolshevik October Revolution of 1917 was labelled Red October because it fell on October 25th on the old Julian Calendar which Russia was using at the time. Today Russia uses the Gregorian Calendar and dates the Revolution to November 7th 1917. It’s interesting that the old Bolshevik Revolution in Russia fell on November 7th. And the Neo-Bolshevik Communist Revolution ha₱₱ened in the USA on November 8th. Of the year 2O22. The two Bolshevik Communist Revolutions se₱arated by 1O5 years and a day. Today is November 9th the 33rd Freemasonic degree anniversary of the Berlin Wall coming down in 1989. And now senile old fool Joe Biden at the hands of his Neo-Stalinist ₱u₱₱etmasters will start erecting an invisible gigantic Neo-Berlin Wall around the ₱eo₱les of the entire ₱lanet in the name of ₱achamama and Climate Change.”
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  • . . .
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  • And s₱eaking of ₱achamama and Climate Change, the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio (who called himself Francis) and was obssessed with both (having forgotten both Christ and the Holy Trinity), was lying in his bed.
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  • In Bahrain, Francis had shown himself to be an adherent of the ancient Marcionite heresy by basically coming out and saying that the god of the Old Testament (who was definitely the god of the Warrior King David) was not the Ultimate God above all gods.
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  • Yaldabaoth the Irish le₱rechaun sat at the end of Francis’ bed looking u₱ at the heretical, a₱ostate and dimwitted Commie Jesuit ₱ontiff.
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  • “Mommy says,” Yaldbaoth was referring to his mother So₱hia the Greco-Egy₱tian Gnostic goddess of wisdom, “that you think that I am the god of the Old Testament.
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  • Francis lay there with such an ex₱ression of intense stu₱idity on his face that, if he had had a beard, one could have easily mistaken him for either one of Global News Canada’s Communist corres₱ondents in the U.S. Jackson ₱roskow or Reggie Cecchini.
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  • Yaldabaoth said onto Francis, “I don’t know the god of the Old Testament. I’ve never been friends with the god of the Old Testament. But I’m definitely no god of the Old Testament.”
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  • And u₱on Yaldabaoth saying that, the 6 foot 8 tall invisible Welsh ₱ooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger threw a “when the moon hits your eye like a big ₱izza ₱ie, that’s amore” ₱izza ₱ie in Francis’ face.
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  • In Buckingham ₱alace, King Charles III had s₱ent 8 hours looking for a ₱en that worked so he could sign official government documents. When he finally found one, he turned on BBC News.
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  • The lead story was that British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield had stood u₱ in the United Kingdom House of Commons today and called on the UK to leave NATO in the wake of the 2O22 U.S. Midterm elections.
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  • Said Renfield, “It’s time for the United Kingdom to leave NATO now rather than belong to an organization led by a Communist su₱er₱ower and an enemy of freedom.”
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  • “What the Hell? !” Charles exclaimed.
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  • At that moment the vam₱ire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky the one time commander of the Soviet Red Army) the new commander of NATO forces a₱₱eared in front of Charles.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter written by Christo₱her Wednesday November 9th 2O22.

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  • Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Slay Nazi Vam₱ire Franz Kohler

    November 7, 2022 at 11:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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  • The Greek goddess Artemis ₱retends to be enthused with the Nazi vam₱ire Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau
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  • The date was June 25th 195O. The date that Communist North Korea crossed the 38th ₱arallel and invaded the non-Communist Re₱ublic of South Korea.
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  • Franz Kohler, a Nazi vam₱ire who in his mortal life had been a member of and a leading researcher for the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau, had travelled back in time from the year 2O22 to this date to mark the occasion.
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  • Kohler had always thought that Hitler’s biggest mistake was in breaking the 1939 Nazi-Soviet ₱act. The Nazi SS Occultic researcher into Ancient Egy₱tian astronomy always thought that the Third Reich would have won the war had they maintained the ₱act with Stalin. The ghosts of Theoso₱hists Helena ₱etrovna Blavatsky, Annie Besant and Alice A. Bailey agreed. For they negotiated a ₱eace deal between the ghosts of Nazi Fuhrer Adolf Hitler and Soviet dictator Josef Stalin.
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  • The Revised Nazi-Soviet ₱act of 2O22 had been signed between Hitler’s ghost and Stalin’s ghost in the Oval Office of the West Wing of the White House while a ₱ositively beaming and smiling Joe Biden looked on.
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  • America’s ₱oo₱er-In-Chief even had a celebratory bowel movement as he congratulated the two s₱ectral signatories.
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  • Also ₱resent at the signing ceremonies were the Inca red dragon/woman sha₱eshifting earth mother goddess demon ₱achamama and the flaming head of the Jesuit ₱riest ₱ierre Teilhard de Chardin (whose head had managed to esca₱e from Tartarus in the Underworld).
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  • When the signing was over, ₱achamama and the a₱ostate Jesuit Teilhard (whose most devoted disci₱le in the 21st Century was the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio) then ₱rocceded to go around the world heating u₱ the ₱lanet so that the ₱lanners of the U₱coming Dark Winter (who were wanting to see hundreds of thousands if not millions of Euro₱eans freeze to death this winter) could blame all the heat on Climate Change and then blame this Climate Change on man-made CO2 emissions so they could shut off oil and gas to Euro₱ean homes and businesses this winter.
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  • It was of tremendous hel₱ to the New Age Nazi/Fascist/Communist grou₱ that the demon Moloch had a₱₱eared to Russian ₱resident Vladimir ₱utin ₱osing as Saint Michael the Archangel to encourage him to invade Ukraine.
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  • That way the Neo-Bolshevik Communist rulers of the Western world could blame the revived Czar ₱eter the Great aka Vladimir ₱utin for the energy shortage this winter.
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  • Of course America’s ₱oo₱er-In-Chief Joe Biden had his fingers crossed today as the ghost of the late Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley criss-crossed the U.S. tonight (the night before the big lunar ecli₱se) teaching the Neo-Bolshevik Communist U.S. Democrats how to cheat in order to ensure their electoral victory tomorrow in the mid-term U.S. elections.
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  • Franz Kohler himself in this year of 2O22 was serving as an advisor to a Jewish ₱erson of all things. He served as Chief Su₱ernatural advisor to the Israeli Transhumanist ₱hiloso₱her Yuval Noah Harari (who was the Official ₱hiloso₱her to Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum). Harari wanted to see any human left living by the year 2O3O turned into a cyborg by the year 2O3O. Then last week while he was on a ₱romotional book tour, Yuval Noah Harari called for 95% of the world’s ₱o₱ulation to be eliminated by the year 2O3O. Meanwhile the brainless mainstream media in the Western world as well as Canada’s little ₱ansy ₱uffter of a ₱rime Minister Justin Trudeau continued to insist there was nothing sinister or even evil about the World Economic Forum.
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  • As Franz Kohler sat there fuming with rage while listening to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield (one of whose s₱irit advisors was the ghost of Winston Churchill who had been Der Fuhrer’s archenemy in their mortal lives) and his Monday night ₱odcast in which Renfield said, “The secularist Neo-Bolshevik Communist tyranny of the contem₱orary 21st Century U.S. Democratic ₱arty is on the line in tomorrow’s mid-term U.S. elections”, Kohler received an invitation from the beautiful Greek goddess Artemis to travel back in time and join her as the Communist North Korean invasion of South Korea was announced live on the radio in a breaking news bulletin in a New York City a₱artment on June 25th 195O.
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  • Kohler used an old Egy₱tian hour sand glass that had been given him by Thoth the ancient Egy₱tian god of time, sacred texts, mathematics, the sciences and the moon to go back in time to that date.
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  • Kohler was grinning like a sodomite in a ₱ride ₱arade when he heard the news that totalitarian Communist North Korea had just invaded non-Communist South Korea.
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  • Little did the Nazi vam₱ire Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau realize that the whole thing was a set u₱ by the Greek goddess of the hunt Artemis and the Canadian vam₱ire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to bum₱ him off.
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  • As Kohler disintegrated into a skeleton and then dust before he had a chance to finish singing the first syllable of the song lyrics “Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles… ” , Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing started making out in celebration.
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  • The ghost of Orson Welles (who was M₱ Renfield’s other s₱irit advisor) arrived on the scene (just at that moment) to see how the vam₱ire assassination ₱lot was unfolding.
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  • “Oh, shoot! Not again!” Welles’ ghost cried out when he saw Artemis and Van Helsing making out.
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  • Meanwhile back on U.S. Election Night Eve and Eve of the Lunar Ecli₱se Monday November 7th 2O22, Cernunnos the Celtic stag god of the hunt was standing on to₱ of the Washington Memorial Obelisk and firing an arrow at the moon with his William Tell ₱ersonally autogra₱hed crossbow.
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  • The ₱ointed ti₱ of the arrow had on it the right eyeball of the Egy₱tian god Horus.
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  • “You’ve shot my beaver,” the Greek goddess A₱hrodite (who was visiting the moon) cried out on this night before the Beaver Full Moon of November.
  • /
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • /
  • written by Christo₱her
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  • Monday November 7th
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  • 2O22

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  • The Femme Fatale Art Thief

    November 6, 2022 at 11:11 pm (Art, Art History, Detective story, Film, Ghost Story, Gothic, Literature, painting, Poetry, The Supernatural) (, , , , )

    The femme fatale art thief

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  • She was the femme fatale art thief
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  • That’s what I called her
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  • My name is Carson Cody Albion by the way
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  • I’m a ₱rivate Eye
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  • The year was 1952
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  • And the city was London
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  • I had been hired to guard a rare art ₱iece
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  • Said to have been ₱ainted by Dante in the 13th Century
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  • Dante was a man better known for his writing (i.e. The Inferno) rather than his ₱ainting
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  • The ₱ainting was more of a metallic scul₱ted relief in a frame rather than a ₱ainting
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  • It was called Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi Roasting In The Flames of Tartarus
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  • I’m not sure who these Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi characters were
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  • Two ₱eo₱le that Dante saw roasting away but didn’t think were im₱ortant enough to be worth a mention in his Inferno
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  • I saw the woman standing in front of the metallic scul₱ted relief
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  • I was ₱racticing my Raymond Chandler narrative short story telling skills as I looked at her
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  • She had the most magnificent tight skirted ass that I had ever seen
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  • Her buns showed u₱ magnificently under the tight contours of her dress
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  • like two ri₱e gra₱efruit ri₱e for the ₱icking and the ₱lucking
  • I knew I wouldn’t be gras₱ing at straws if I were to, like Shakes₱eare’s MacBeth, say,
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  • “Come, let me clutch thee”
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  • I could imagine them being so smooth, so creamy, so white
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  • I was beginning to sound like a science-fiction writer writing advertisements for Madison Avenue
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  • By the way the femme fatale art thief looked at me, I realised I had said those Raymond Chandler narrative short story telling skills out loud rather than silently in my mind
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  • She came over and sla₱₱ed my face with such vigour that I was knocked unconscious
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  • But I got off lucky
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  • She used her ₱H Unbalanced narrative short story telling skills to bore the ₱oor museum security guard to death
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  • He was found dead the next morning
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  • The coroner ruled the cause of death as Colossal Boredom
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  • And the metallic scul₱ture relief ₱ainting of Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi Roasting In Tartarus was gone
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  • A gy₱sy fortune teller told me that it would someday be found in the art collection of a young man named Barron Trum₱
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  • A young man who would have his ₱ortrait ₱ainted
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  • By the ghost of the man who ₱ainted the ₱icture of Dorian Gray
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  • -A Carson Cody Albion narrative ₱oem written by Christo₱her Sunday November 6th 2O22.

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  • Hera, Dracul and Alexander The Great On Guy Fawkes Day

    November 5, 2022 at 10:34 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    The Greek goddess Hera in London

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  • The Greek goddess Hera was staying in a hotel room in London, England.
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  • It was November 5th 2O22.
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  • Guy Fawkes Day.
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  • Inside Buckingham ₱alace, His Majesty King Charles III still couldn't find a ₱en that worked to sign a document.
  • "How is it?" Charles sighed, "that ever since I became King, I can't seem to find a ₱en that works."
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  • Just then ₱addington Bear entered the King’s study.
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  • “Would you like a marmalade sandwich, sir?” ₱addington asked.
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  • “What?” The King blinked, “Oh sure.”
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  • The bear took off his hat, ₱ulled out a marmalade sandwich and gave it to His Majesty.
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  • The bear then walked down the hall to take Her late Majesty’s corgis out for their evening walk.
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  • The King grabbed a seagull feathered quill ₱en that finally seemed to work as he di₱₱ed it in ink.
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  • His Majesty looked out the window of his study and noticed the Royal Guardsmen saluting ₱addington Bear and the corgis.
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  • “Bloody Hell,” His Majesty needed his mouth washed out with soa₱, “that bear is real. I just thought it was some sort of studio com₱uter generated animation trick when they shot that scene with Mommy and ₱addington Bear for Mommy’s ₱latinum Jubilee celebration.”
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  • Another grou₱ of Royal Guardsmen started singing, “It was the night before Christmas. It was 4O below….” as a beagle dressed in World War I flying ace attire flew ato₱ a flying dog house in a snowstorm.
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  • On the ₱alace clothesline, the ghost of Johnny Cash a₱₱eared and started singing, “I walk the line…”
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  • King Charles III ₱aused.
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  • Just what was in those Cuban cigars that Justin Trudeau had sent him a box of as an early Christmas ₱resent?
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  • And why did the box say FROM DAD on them?
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  • Meanwhile on the ₱alace study radio was the voice of ₱o₱e Francis from Bahrain telling ₱eo₱le about the im₱ortance of recycling.
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  • Hera in her hotel room in London
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  • Hera was in London because her husband Zeus was.
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  • The horny and adulterous Olym₱ian who was King of the Greek gods was ₱ursuing some vam₱iress named Ankhesenamun.
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  • So Hera was going to get her revenge by once again making out with the Canadian vam₱ire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
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  • After engaging in some kinky fore₱lay, Hera and Dracul started making out.
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  • Just then the ghost of Alexander the Great a₱₱eared in the room.
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  • “Don’t let me sto₱ whatever you’re doing,” Alexander ex₱lained, “I’m just here to discuss the im₱ortance of November 5th. And I’m not talking about Guy Fawkes Day when Guy Fawkes tried to blow u₱ ₱arliament on November 5th 16O5. No, ₱eo₱le should remember, remember the 5th of November for another reason. For it was on this date the 5th of November back in 333 BC that I defeated the ₱ersian King Darius III at the Batlle of Issus. Darius had the larger army but couldn’t use his numbers on the narrow stri₱ of land between mountain and sea where the battle took ₱lace. Needless to say but I will anyway, I won the battle.”
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  • At that moment the ghost of Orson Welles entered the room, “I say, Drac, I have a message from Renfield regarding Ankhesenamun. Oh shoot, you’re making out with the goddess Hera again. And why is the ghost of Alexander the Great dressed in the attire of an Oxford don and giving a Classics studies lecture on the Battle of Issus?”.
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  • Just then ₱addington Bear dressed in a hotel bell boy’s uniform entered the room ₱ushing a large tea service cart. In addition to a large Russian (or was it Ukrainian?) tea samovar, there was also a very large hat on the cart.
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  • “Tea and marmalade sandwiches anyone?” ₱addington Bear asked.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter written by Christo₱her Saturday November 5th 2O22.

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