The New Roaring 20s Off To A Roaring Start
The New Roaring 20s Off To A Roaring Start
The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka welcomed the year of 2020 with a burst of silver snowflakes and paper raindrops.
The obnoxious Achilles was back in Hades and her friend Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander went to the Times of London Berlin bureau to discuss his coverage of the New Year’s Eve literary gala with that newspaper’s bureau chief.
The Olympian Greek god Zeus, who had crashed the party posing as the author of a book on Greek mythogy, had to be carried out on a stretcher and taken to a Berlin hospital.
This happened after Zeus’ wife Hera (who was an officially invited guest to the New Year’s Eve literary gala party) had hit her husband over the head with a statue of the Egyptian goddess Sekhmet.
Leaving the party in the early hours of January 1st, Tanaka boarded the New Year’s Day dirigible from Berlin to London.
She arrived in London, had breakfast with her friend Dracul Van Helsing and then joined him in viewing the London New Year’s Day Parade.
. . .
In Alexandria Egypt, the Norse trickster god Loki was enjoying a New Year’s Day morning breakfast with Hades the Greek god of the Underworld.
Loki was meeting Hades because he had come up with a plan to add a bit of mischief to the New Year.
“So, what is your plan?” Hades asked Loki between plates of scrambled eggs.
“I think you should grant the ghost of America’s greatest trial criminal defence lawyer Clarence Darrow a temporary dispensation to leave your realm and come back up to Earth,” Loki suggested.
“And why should I do that?” Hades inquired.
“To defend Donald Trump at his trial in the Senate,” Loki smiled mischievously.
“That would certainly ruin Nancy Pelosi’s and Sen. Chuck Schumer’s New Year if I did that,” Hades admitted, “I’ll have to think it over.”
The Israeli Mossad agent code named Star of Azazel was sitting over at the next table across from the two deities.
He smiled at the suggestion.
But he would have to act quickly.
For Star of Azazel was already on his way to Washington DC to meet with Trump.
His proposal to Trump was a way for both the American President and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to escape serious charges in both their respective countries.
And that was to wage war on Iran.
Nothing helps a political leader more than to wage war as a form of distraction for their respective populace.
. . .
The ghost of Alexander the Great had been allowed to leave the realm of Hades for the first time in over 2300 years.
He had appeared out of nowhere aboard a Greek cruise ship sailing in the Mediterranean.
The only thing Alexander knew about his dispensational leave from the realm of Hades was that Zeus had requested it.
Alexander had with him the surprisingly 21st Century tech savvy 3-headed dog Cerberus to guide him through the opening year of this decade.
Cerberus was on his Huawei smart phone (which unbeknownst to him was being monitored by the Black Dragon the supernatural entity advisor to China’s supreme leader Xi Jinping) trying to get in touch with Zeus.
Cerberus managed to reach Zeus’ Amazon assistant Alexa the Magnificent (a Greek Amazon Warrioress with a very nice pair of knockers).
Alexa told Cerberus that Zeus was currently in the comatose patient unit of a Berlin hospital where German Chancellor Angela Merkel was sitting at his bedside reciting to him passages from Homer.
“Zeus is unavailable at the moment,” Cerberus informed Alexander The Great.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 1st
2020.
Zeus’ New Year’s Eve In Berlin
Zeus’ New Year’s Eve In Berlin
When the Greek god Zeus heard the news that the Germanic god Wotan (aka the Norse god Odin) would be spending his New Year’s Eve in Athens, Greece watching Greek lady belly dancers in the city’s tavernas (although Odin/Wotan told his wife Freya that he’d be snow bowling as opposed to lawn bowling with Thor up at the North Pole), Zeus decided that he’d attend a New Year’s Eve party in the German capital of Berlin.
Buying the latest men’s tuxedo from a fashionable and upscale London tailor (where British Prime Minister Boris Johnson purchased his suits), Zeus flew an old Zeppelin dirigible from London to Berlin.
One of the guests aboard the New Year’s Eve dirigible for select celebrities (of which the Grecian sky god of Mount Olympus was considered to be one) was a former advisor to Donald Trump (who had just discovered hours earlier that he had apparently lost his job on the last day of this year when he read about it in one of the American leader’s recent tweets).
Overdosing on strawberry daiquiris, he got the lead out from the Zeppelin via his rear end when he sat on the edge of the dirigible deck and mooned various U.S. consulates and embassies (that the airship flew over on its way to Berlin) as his own personal form of retaliation.
Zeus was looking very dapper and debonair as he got off the Zeppelin and proceeded to chase anyone wearing a skirt (although he quickly reached the conclusion that the tea members of Berlin’s LGBTQ community wasn’t quite what he had in mind and vowed to be more observant and diligent on his Berlin night out).
As for the now former advisor to Donald Trump, when what was left of him was taken off the airship, they were able to bury all of him in a cigar box and place him 6 feet under in a Berlin cemetery.
Zeus reached a Berlin publishing company’s New Year’s Eve party and decided to crash it.
Posing as the author of a book on Greek mythology, the bearded Olympian was let in.
Zeus noted that his son Dionysus (aka Bacchus) was there.
After 9 PM in the evening, Dionysus fell asleep with his head in the gigantic punch bowl where it remained the rest of the night (with no one bothering to remove it as patrons and guests just scooped up their glasses of punch around the drunken deity’s head).
The Greek hero Achilles was there having recently been granted a temporary dispensation from the Underworld by Hades and Persephone.
Achilles was trying to put the moves on the (quite literally) immortal beautiful Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka who was currently visiting Germany from the U.S. Dakotas.
Belvedere the ghost of a Ghost White Salamander and a reporter for the Times of London was covering the New Year’s Eve literary gala.
During his mortal human life back in the 19th Century (how he ended up the ghost of a Ghost White Salamander and ceased being human was one long sad story), Belvedere had been good friends with the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka and her grandfather White Hawk (who was a great Lakota Sioux Medicine Man).
In fact the three had celebrated together Chief Sitting Bull’s victory over George Armstrong Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.
Noticing that Tanaka was being bothered by the obnoxious and egotistical so-called “hero” of the Trojan War, Belvedere used a spectral bow and arrow (the spirit of the material physical bow and arrow that had been given him as a gift by White Hawk) and fired a spectral arrow at Achilles’ spectral heel.
“Damn! Not again!” Achilles shouted as a group of models wearing the latest dress fashions from Paris and carrying apples in their hands did a catwalk through the party hall.
Achilles fell over and once again departed to the realm of Hades.
Just then Zeus noticed 3 beautiful women standing against the wall by one of the balcony windows.
The Olympian decided to go over and make a move hoping to bring in the New Year with a bang- and possibly three- if he was lucky.
However a huge damper was about to fall on Zeus’ plans for the evening when his wife Hera stepped off the elevator into the party room.
She had been invited to the party by the President of the Berlin Publishing Company.
Hera noticed Zeus chatting up the three beauties.
New Year’s Eve fireworks soon went off.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 31st
2019.
The Hoover-Orsic Transcripts
The Hoover-Orsic Transcripts
“I never thought it would be so much fun burglaring J. Edgar Hoover’s office at the FBI Building in Washington DC,” the ghost of Orson Welles remarked to Dracul Van Helsing.
Using a miniature time tunnel that Dr. Cadbury Rocher was working on at Set Enterprises in London, the pair had temporarily travelled back in time to Washington DC in 1939.
What sent the certainly unusual dynamic duo on their mission was a message that Dracul Van Helsing had received from Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol.
Whitstable was currently in the German capital Berlin investigating an attempt to open up the unmarked grave of Nazi SS officer Reinhard Heydrich.
The Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau vampire Franz Kohler and Gavin Brown a voodoo practitioner with ties to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation were the ones responsible for trying to dig up Heydrich’s grave.
The attempt ended after the grave digging gang of six men were attacked by a flock of pigeons.
Whitstable in his investigation had discovered that Franz Kohler believed the transcripts of a secret meeting between J. Edgar Hoover and Maria Orsic of the occultic Vril Society that took place in Washington DC in 1939 had been buried with Heydrich’s remains.
A computerized laser examination of Heydrich’s grave yesterday using technology developed by Dr. Cadbury Rocher had shown there were no documents in Heydrich’s casket.
But now Whitstable was curious as to why Kohler wanted a copy of those transcripts.
Whitstable discovered that the meeting between Maria Orsic and J. Edgar Hoover had taken place on December 18th 1939.
Whitstable relayed that information to Van Helsing.
Seeing as how Dr. Rocher wanted a test for his time tunnel, he offered to send Van Helsing to J. Edgar Hoover’s office 80 years ago today.
And Van Helsing could steal Hoover’s copy of the transcripts.
The ghost of Orson Welles (who along with the ghost of Winston Churchill was serving as a spirit advisor to British MP Renfield R. Renfield) offered to go along with Van Helsing for the ride.
And so now here they were searching through Hoover’s drawers (his file drawers that is!) trying to find any transcripts of a meeting between Hoover and the Vril Society medium Maria Orsic.
“Gentlemen,” said the Norse goddess Freya as she sat in Hoover’s office smoking a cigarette, “I presume you’re looking for the transcripts of the meeting between Mr. Hoover and Miss Orsic?”.
“We are,” Van Helsing answered.
“Well then follow me,” Freya got up and walked over to another part of the office.
“With pleasure,” Van Helsing replied as he followed her.
“Oh, to be mortal again,” Welles’ ghost sighed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday December 20th
2019.
Friday The 13th Harvest Moon
Friday the 13th Harvest Moon
Try not to think of this as your death,
The vampiress approached,
It’s just another harvest moon,
She glimmered in the full light of the moon,
Her hair, her gown,
She was luminous,
An angel of light….
“Bat out of Hell…” Meatloaf sang on the radio…
“Could be one and the same thing,”
The vampiress laughed as she approached,
“But it is just another harvest moon…”
“A Friday the 13th Harvest Moon,” said the man tied up in the chair,
“A black cat crossed my path today,
I walked under a ladder,
I crossed knives,
I looked a Greek tycoon’s gift horse in the mouth today at the racetrack
And I ran a hockey goalie named Jason over with my car today
getting my tires slashed in the process.”
“I understand there’s a werewolf howling in the rainforests of the Amazon tonight,” the vampiress smiled,
“On this harvest moon,”
She continued to sing.
“The werewolf would be Magog Rhys Petley,”
said the man,
“A London based Welsh private eye bitten by a snake’s head named Rahu during a lunar eclipse many years ago,
Turned the poor fellow into a werewolf for some reason,
Lev Tomi hired him to find out who’s setting fire to the Amazon rainforests
And now he’s howling away under a harvest moon.”
“On this harvest moon,” the vampiress sang.
“I wonder if Neil Young would like your cover,” the man said.
The vampiress’ gown fell off her shoulders on to the floor.
“I guess he would,” smiled the man,
“he’d probably like you under cover as well.”
“And what about you, Inspector Depp?” The vampiress asked the Scotland Yard detective, “Would you like me under cover?”.
“It’s a Friday the 13th Harvest Moon,” Depp answered, “Why not?”.
The vampiress bit his neck, drained all his blood and left him for dead.
“Like Britain after Halloween,” the vampiress laughed.
She walked out into the night where she was followed by a black jaguar with silver eyes.
The vampiress walked to the clock tower of Big Ben.
She turned and faced the Jaguar.
She once again dropped her gown.
The Black Jaguar turned into a man who made love to her.
And the bells of Big Ben, which were supposed to be silent while being repaired, started playing the tune,
“On this Harvest Moon…”
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 13th
2019.
Dracul Van Helsing, The Goddess Sophia, Yaldabaoth and The Irish Backstop
Dracul Van Helsing, The Goddess Sophia, Yaldabaoth and The Irish Backstop
Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom was worried.
What would happen to her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun if a hard border was once again built on the Republic of Ireland-UK Northern Ireland border?
Her son Yaldabaoth was a leprechaun with a serious drinking problem.
He was the only being in all recorded history to be officially banned by court injunction from attending AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings as any meeting he attended invariably ended up with all those present at the meetings falling off the wagon.
Yaldabaoth had the irritating habit of always falling asleep right on the line of the Republic of Ireland/UK Northern Ireland border.
This was fine as long as the border was an open (rather than a closed) border as it had been ever since the Good Friday Agreement was signed back in 1998.
But Good Friday 1998 might come to an end at Halloween 2019 if there was a no-deal Brexit.
Of course the House of Commons and the House of Lords had just passed a bill brought forth by the anti-Semitic Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn to stop a no-deal Brexit from happening this coming Halloween (ironically in this regard Corbyn was fulfilling the agenda of the pro-globalist, pro-EU and New World Order One World Government oriented Rothschilds).
However the trouble was British MP Renfield R. Renfield was backing Boris Johnson in his quest to have Brexit by Halloween 2019.
And Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom being wise knew that one should never underestimate Renfield R. Renfield even though the pro-EU segments of the British Parliament and much of the British and American news media were doing just that.
Boris Johnson may have run out of tricks up his sleeve but Renfield hadn’t.
Already Sophia could visualize a Brexit firecracker exploding in Jeremy Corbyn’s rear end as the clock hit 11:59 PM on October 31st 2019 and Renfield shouted “Trick or Treat” from the window of his room in a Soho whore house.
And if a no-deal Brexit occurred and there was once again a hard Irish border, her son Yaldabaoth could end up buried underneath a concrete wall.
Unlike the American authorities and the whereabouts of Jimmy Hoffa, she’d know where the body is buried.
But this would be of small comfort to her.
After all, she had told people through the centuries that her son Yaldabaoth was the Demi-Urge who created the material physical universe.
And if it came out that her son was actually an Irish leprechaun with a serious drinking problem who now lay buried under concrete on the Irish border, well, she’d positively die of embarrassment.
Of course Sophia knew that the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was a friend of Renfield R. Renfield.
She figured that if she whipped him up her famous Greco-Egyptian-Irish-Italian-Norse-Greenlander omelette for breakfast and gave him a great tantric sex piece of tail as a midnight offering, he might put in a good word for her with Renfield.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 6th
2019.
Dashwood Forrest, The Empty Portrait and Hurricane Dorian
Dashwood Forrest, The Empty Portrait and Hurricane Dorian
Dashwood Forrest sat in his office in his art gallery in London and quietly sipped a drink of absinthe.
The Green Fairy as it was called was one of the favourite drinks of his idol the writer, novelist, poet and playwright Oscar Wilde.
Forrest’s living dead Irish manservant Mulligan the Irish zombie (who had been brought back from the dead many years ago by South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo) was out for the evening.
Mulligan had been hired for the evening by British MP Renfield R. Renfield to haunt the residence of British Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn and stand outside the back entrance of Corbyn’s lodgings and say in a spookily haunting zombie voice (with an Irish lilt to it), “The Irish backstop ends at your back door, Mr. Corbyn. The Irish backstop ends at your backdoor.”
As Jeremy Corbyn began to suffer the worst nightmares of his life, Forrest finished his glass of absinthe, left his office and locked it.
He walked down to the end of the gallery where he entered a room marked PRIVATE.
No one (not even Mulligan the Irish zombie) ever entered that room.
Only he Dashwood Forrest art historian, art gallery curator and extraordinary gentleman of many talents ever entered that room.
For that room contained a portrait behind purple velvet curtains.
A portrait of a man.
A portrait of a man painted in the year 1860.
A portrait that was first mentioned in a book published in July 1890.
A book that most people (and even Dashwood Forrest himself for most of his life) had considered a work of fiction.
Until Forrest came across the painting in an estate sale back in October of 2012.
The picture was of a man named… Dorian Gray.
And the artist who signed the picture was named Basil Hallward.
The painting was of an extremely handsome young man in his early 20s.
Exactly as described in Oscar Wilde’s famous Gothic Philosophical novel of the 19th Century- The Picture of Dorian Gray.
Forrest drew back the purple velvet curtains that covered the painting and hid it from view.
Forrest got the shock of his life when he saw the portrait was empty.
There was no subject in the painting.
Dorian Gray was gone.
. . .
Forrest stared blankly at the blank canvas and blinked.
His smart phone went off.
It was a text message from his friend Amadeus Emanon.
A Set Enterprises satellite over the Bahamas had photographed the eye of the storm of Hurricane Dorian.
And a giant mysterious almost human figure seemed to be standing and moving with the eye of the storm in the hurricane.
Forrest again blinked.
For the figure was the spitting image of Dorian Gray.
The figure now missing from the painting.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 3rd
2019.
Sibyl: She loved Dorian in vain.
Sherrielock Holmes and The Raven
Sherrielock Holmes and The Raven
The year was 1899.
And Sherrielock Holmes (the dominatrix lesser known twin sister of world famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) was walking in the park with her scientist husband Dr. Louis Rocher (who, unbeknownst to both, was in fact the illegitimate son of the evil Prof. James Moriarty).
Dr. Rocher was demonstrating his latest invention – a camera capable of taking colour photos.
He took a picture of Sherrielock with a boastful talking raven who claimed to be the inspiration behind Edgar Allan Poe’s 1845 poem The Raven (a claim which if true the raven looked very good for his age).
He then took a picture of Sherrielock with a guinea pig.
Sherrielock was told by the raven that a close friend of the guinea pig- a red fox (who was a vegetarian- rare for his species) was in mortal danger.
The next day Sherrielock and Louis went to nearby woods and parkland to foil the fox hunt led by the notorious British fox hunter Lord Plumelington of Nausea in an effort to save the life of the guinea pig’s friend.
Lord Plumelington who was a practitioner of the dark arts had invoked Njord the Norse god of the winds to stop anyone from opposing his fox hunt.
Winds and water encircled Sherrielock like a typhoon.
A moment that Dr. Louis Rocher managed to capture on film.
And Sherrielock who was a skilled dominatrix became the first person in history to whip the wind.
She then jumped on a white horse and rode like the wind to upset Lord Plumelington of Nausea’s fox hunt sending his hounds scattering in every direction.
Sherrielock was indeed a true heroine and the fox was saved.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 25th
2019.
The House On The Hill: A Poem
The house on the hill was haunted they say
That common belief helped keep people away
Only the brave ventured to play
At the house overlooking Appleton Way
What happened that night many years ago
whispered by people who claimed to know
was loud shots in the night
a desperate search for a light
A woman’s screams
Lace curtains falling at the seams
And then silence fell
No more would dwell
in that house on the hill
Tenancy rate fell to nil
Those who ventured inside that place above Appleton Way
would always return with their hair white or gray
even though their hair colour did not start out that way
when they ventured forth at the break of the day
Their mistake was not in returning before the sun set
Nightfall should have told them, this was no place to let
Visiting the place subject of many a bet
while dark mystery remains at the heart of the Net
It was with this in mind that young Rousseau set out
On a night when the wind was howling about
Dark clouds rolled in
The night blacker than sin
Lightning flashed
Thunder crashed
And of course the door of the house would naturally be opened wide
And Rousseau stepped across the threshold to where the unseen did abide
And Rousseau came face to face with the ghostly vision there
While rainy lightning in the window flashed glowing white glare
Rousseau’s thought then was different from what he had at the start of the day
With this supernatural life and supernatural sight he felt inclined to stay
So now he too inhabits the house above Appleton Way.
-A poem written by Christopher
Tuesday May 21st 2019.
Theodora and Varying Manners of Byzantine Intrigue
After lighting a candle to the Baphomet and the statue of Baal, Pennsylvania Democratic representative Brian Sims of Philadelphia went to bed.
After falling asleep, the Byzantine vampiress Theodora appeared in his bedroom and sprinkled him with Byzantine angel dust.
Sims then dreamed that he was a homosexual bishop back in the days of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian.
Justinian’s method of dealing with homosexual bishops was vastly different from that of Pope Francis.
His method was to castrate the bishops and then to have them paraded nude through the streets of Constantinople.
Instead of a “coming out” parade, it was a “coming off” parade.
Sims screamed as he slept.
He was not enjoying his dream.
Theodora smiled and laughed.
She was.
. . .
French President Emmanuel Macron was unhappy that Britain was going to be participating in European Parliament elections later this month since the Brits had failed yet another deadline to achieve Brexit.
He ate smoked oysters and downed champagne.
He then got on his iPhone and went to FaceTime.
British Prime Minister Theresa May was unhappy that Britain was going to be participating in European Parliament elections later this month since the Brits had failed yet another deadline to achieve Brexit.
She ate hot buttered biscuits and downed gin.
She then got on her iPhone and went to FaceTime.
May shrieked when she looked at her screen.
Emmanuel Macron was only wearing brief undershorts that were decorated with pink coloured daisies and that was it.
Macron shrieked when he looked at his screen.
Theresa May was only wearing hair curlers and that was it.
May gasped, “Emmanuel, we’ve got to stop FaceTiming like this.”
. . .
Miranda the mermaid had shapeshifted into full human form and was lying on the beach at Tel Aviv.
The Greek god Poseidon stepped up out of the ocean.
He had a large seashell to his ear since he was in a teleconferencing call with his brothers Zeus and Hades.
Poseidon ended the call and put the seashell in the back seat of his pants which were made out of seaweed.
“Miranda,” the Greek sea deity called out to the mermaid, “Did you know the ghost of Orson Welles is looking for you?”.
. . .
After filling the Baphomet and Baal worshipping Rep. Brian Sims of Philadelphia with the worst possible nightmares, the Byzantine vampiress Theodora returned to New York City for a nighttime modelling photo shoot.
Where an MI-6 spy operative code named Diablos Nocturna was waiting for her.
They spent a tantalizing evening of tantric sex afterwards.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 7th
2019.
The Byzantine vampiress Theodora: The stuff of nightmares to Baal and Baphomet worshippers.
But pleasant dreams to certain MI-6 operatives.
Harvey Tallbanger In Paris
The 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka invisible bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger who was personal spy to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was in Paris to see how the Kraken Napoleon VI’s Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party was doing in preparation for next month’s European Parliament elections.
The French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party leader Napoleon VI (a Kraken) had formed an alliance with one of Set’s former employees the British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield to run under a joint party banner for the elections.
Of course if Britain somehow managed to Brexit before the elections, Renfield’s party would be out of the running.
Most big shot bureaucrats in Brussels as well as French President Emmanuel Macron and Pope Francis were hoping Britain would manage to Brexit before the elections to prevent Renfield from getting into the European Parliament where he would no doubt use his influence to finish off the globalist New World Order European Union once and for all.
Militant Islamist terrorist groups and the Jesuit order were also upset by Renfield’s decision to sit as an atheist representative on the Committee For The Canonization of Charles Martel.
Of course Charles Martel had a snowball’s chance in Hell of being proclaimed a Saint by the Catholic Church as long as Francis was Pope but it was the principle of the matter that upset the militant Islamist terrorists and the Jesuits.
Harvey Tallbanger had spent the day touring Notre Dame Cathedral with the Kraken Napoleon VI and his lovely wife Medusa (who was now beautiful again after having her head shaved of snakes).
Security personnel did not try to stop Napoleon VI and Medusa from entering the burnt Cathedral because how does one stop a Kraken and a famed former Gorgon from Greek mythology doing something?
As for Harvey, since he was invisible, they were unable to stop him from entering.
“I see both the Cross and the Pieta statue of the Virgin Mary holding the Crucified Jesus at the High Altar were saved,” Harvey noted.
“Yes, a Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai was quite ticked off they managed to survive,” Medusa noted, “he said as much in an interview with a French newspaper yesterday.”
Harvey nodded.
He was aware that Father Caiaphas was the one who had helped the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone to escape the Set Enterprises secure barn in England and had then ridden the basilisk to start the fire at Notre Dame by breathing venomous fire.
When they had finished the tour, Napoleon VI and Medusa returned to campaigning for the European Parliament and Harvey had retreated to a Paris cafe called Quasimodo’s.
The cafe had a gypsy dancer called Esmeralda appropriately enough.
When she had finished dancing, she went up to the bar to talk to the 6 foot 8 invisible bunny rabbit.
“You can see me?” Harvey was astonished, “Have you been drinking Harvey Wallbangers?”.
“No, being a gypsy, I have psychic abilities so I can see you,” Esmeralda answered.
“A psychic lobster in London called Michelangelo can also see me,” Harvey nodded.
Esmeralda and the bunny rabbit got around to discussing the fire at Notre Dame.
Harvey Tallbanger happened to mention that there was an animated short film called I Pet Goat 2 made back in 2012 that seemed to prophetically show the spire of Notre Dame Cathedral collapsing like happened this year.
“And the name of this animated short had Pet Goat in the title?” Esmeralda queried.
Harvey affirmed that it did.
“You know the character of Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame had a pet goat,” Esmeralda pointed out.
“That’s right, she did,” Harvey recalled.
“Djali was its name,” Esmeralda mentioned.
Harvey ate his jelly donut with a side of goat’s cheese.
Father Caiaphas bar Yochai who had been sitting at a table in the corner of Quasimodo’s and drinking Harvey Wallbangers by the dozen suddenly looked in the direction of the French Roma Gypsy girl and the Welsh pooka bunny rabbit.
“A bunny rabbit?” Father Caiaphas seethed, “I hate bunny rabbits.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 27th
2019.
The gypsy Esmeralda
