The Femme Fatale Art Thief

November 6, 2022 at 11:11 pm (Art, Art History, Detective story, Film, Ghost Story, Gothic, Literature, painting, Poetry, The Supernatural) (, , , , )

The femme fatale art thief

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  • She was the femme fatale art thief
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  • That’s what I called her
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  • My name is Carson Cody Albion by the way
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  • I’m a ₱rivate Eye
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  • The year was 1952
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  • And the city was London
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  • I had been hired to guard a rare art ₱iece
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  • Said to have been ₱ainted by Dante in the 13th Century
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  • Dante was a man better known for his writing (i.e. The Inferno) rather than his ₱ainting
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  • The ₱ainting was more of a metallic scul₱ted relief in a frame rather than a ₱ainting
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  • It was called Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi Roasting In The Flames of Tartarus
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  • I’m not sure who these Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi characters were
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  • Two ₱eo₱le that Dante saw roasting away but didn’t think were im₱ortant enough to be worth a mention in his Inferno
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  • I saw the woman standing in front of the metallic scul₱ted relief
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  • I was ₱racticing my Raymond Chandler narrative short story telling skills as I looked at her
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  • She had the most magnificent tight skirted ass that I had ever seen
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  • Her buns showed u₱ magnificently under the tight contours of her dress
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  • like two ri₱e gra₱efruit ri₱e for the ₱icking and the ₱lucking
  • I knew I wouldn’t be gras₱ing at straws if I were to, like Shakes₱eare’s MacBeth, say,
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  • “Come, let me clutch thee”
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  • I could imagine them being so smooth, so creamy, so white
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  • I was beginning to sound like a science-fiction writer writing advertisements for Madison Avenue
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  • By the way the femme fatale art thief looked at me, I realised I had said those Raymond Chandler narrative short story telling skills out loud rather than silently in my mind
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  • She came over and sla₱₱ed my face with such vigour that I was knocked unconscious
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  • But I got off lucky
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  • She used her ₱H Unbalanced narrative short story telling skills to bore the ₱oor museum security guard to death
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  • He was found dead the next morning
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  • The coroner ruled the cause of death as Colossal Boredom
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  • And the metallic scul₱ture relief ₱ainting of Joe Biden and Nancy ₱elosi Roasting In Tartarus was gone
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  • A gy₱sy fortune teller told me that it would someday be found in the art collection of a young man named Barron Trum₱
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  • A young man who would have his ₱ortrait ₱ainted
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  • By the ghost of the man who ₱ainted the ₱icture of Dorian Gray
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  • -A Carson Cody Albion narrative ₱oem written by Christo₱her Sunday November 6th 2O22.

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  • A Marilyn Monroe Halloween

    October 13, 2022 at 8:24 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, Literature, love, magic, Mystery, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , )

    Marilyn Monroe At Halloween

    It was Halloween 1954
    And Carson Cody Albion
    Knocked at the door

    Myend was what the sign on the door said

    Whoever owned the house called Yourend had fled
    So Albion had come knocking knocking on Myend’s door
    Private eye he was, no raven saying “Nevermore”.

    It was no Pallas Athena that opened the door
    But Marilyn Monroe in witch’s apparel without any gore

    A lovely witch she was with candles four
    And a lovely dress J. Edgar Hoover would die for

    Said Marilyn, “Hast thou come knocking at my entrance door?”
    Said Albion, “Thou hast knockers that defy gravity’s floor.”
    Said Marilyn, “Dost thou love me even though I be poor?”
    “I do,” said Albion, “I bought this ring at the jewellery store.”

    The curtain and the veil in the temple tore
    Baskerville hound lost its footing in the moor
    Only PH Unbalanced remained a colossal bore
    But the rest of the cosmos rejoiced encore

    What sorcery is this that has done this for?
    Love’s beating heart yet beats some more
    A tale to be told like in days of yore
    Albion entered the house as cats and dogs and rain doth pour.

    -A Carson Cody Albion poem
    and Halloween poem
    written by Christopher
    Thursday October 13th
    2022.

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    The Cat People and The Wolfman

    October 12, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    Simone Simon as Irena Dubrovna the black panther shapeshifting cat woman New York City based Serbian born and raised fashion illustrator who tore a psychiatrist to pieces with her claws

    Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish Church in West London was meeting with one of his parishioners the world-famous concert pianist Amadeus Emanon in his vicarage kitchen who was enjoying the homemade cinnamon buns made by Father Aidan’s housekeeper Mrs. Lancaster.

    Amadeus Emanon was already on his 36th cinnamon bun.

    “Do you suppose Mrs. Lancaster might make some more?” Amadeus asked as he looked at the now empty plate.

    “Well I do believe it takes awhile to make those cinnamon buns,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds explained, “plus I think she’s currently busy listening to your friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Wednesday night podcast.”

    From upstairs in Mrs. Lancaster’s bedroom could be heard the voice of Renfield R. Renfield saying, “Wow. What a shocker. The cocaine snorting editors of Britain’s The Economist Magazine are calling for cocaine use to be legalized.”

    “You know,” Amadeus helped himself to a gingerbread cookie man that Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds brought him from the refrigerator, “Renfield was telling me that Russian President Vladimir Putin hired a Siberian shaman to go to New York City and raise from the dead the body of the Serbian cat woman Irena Dubrovna. As Miss Dubrovna’s spirit has graduated from Purgatory to Paradise, she won’t be returning to her body. However a famous homicidally inclined Byzantine mermaid Echidna Antiochus who was put to death on the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I’s orders has had her spirit granted a dispensational release from the Underworld by Hades and has taken possession of Irena Dubrovna’s body.
    She is going to Kiev Ukraine as an ally of Putin and will be using Irena Dubrovna’s body to turn into a black panther to rip apart bodies of Ukrainians because the demon Moloch appearing as Saint Michael the Archangel has told Vladimir Putin that it’s the right thing to do.”

    “How horrifying,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds made the Sign of the Cross.

    Father Aidan’s making the Sign of the Cross caused a Calvinist street preacher standing on the sidewalk outside the vicarage to drop dead.

    “The thing is,” Amadeus scratched his head, “I always thought the 1942 film The Cat People starring Simone Simon was a work of fiction. I didn’t think it was based on a real incident and I didn’t think Irena Dubrovna was a real actual person.”

    “Well, it turns out,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds checked out a passage in the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work (written before he died) Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film, “that there really was an Irena Dubrovna in the late 1930s and that what happened in the film was true.”

    “Wow,” Amadeus Emanon walked over to the refrigerator and brought out the entire plate of gingerbread men cookies that he then started eating, “Next thing you know you’ll be telling me that there really was a werewolf called Larry Talbot and that the classic 1941 Universal Pictures monster horror film called The Wolfman that starred Lon Chaney Jr., Claude Rains and Evelyn Ankers was based on something that actually happened in real life.”

    “Well, actually,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds cleared his throat, “I can tell you that Larry Talbot did actually exist and what happened in the 1941 film The Wolfman was true and I don’t need to consult the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film to determine that. For it turns out my grandfather the Anglican clergyman Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds was the curate of Saint Magloire’s Church in Llanwelly Wales near Talbot Castle at the time Larry Talbot arrived in the village to flirt with Gwen Conliffe the daughter of the village antique shop owner and to get bitten by Bela the gypsy fortune telling werewolf.”

    “Really?” Amadeus paused in the middle of eating his 6th gingerbread man cookie.

    “Yes,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds nodded, “As an interesting postscript to the film which ended with Larry Talbot getting killed by his own wolf’s head silver cane walking stick wielded by Larry’s father Sir John Talbot, the Talbot Castle game keeper Frank Andrews (played by actor Patric Knowles in the film), who was Gwen Conliffe’s fiance, ended up getting killed by a wererabbit bunny rabbit that had apparently been originally bitten by Larry Talbot. After the Saint Magloire’s Church exorcism team made Welsh rarebit out of the Welsh wererabbit, after an appropriate period of mourning for the late departed Mr. Andrews, Gwen Conliffe ended up marrying the young curate Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds. So Gwen Conliffe is actually my grandmother.”

    “Holy fuck,” Amadeus Emanon commented.

    Mrs. Lancaster came down the stairs and washed Amadeus Emanon’s mouth out with soap.

    . . .

    Outside 10 Downing Street, Larry the 10 Downing Street cat was chasing away the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow and his spectral black horse.

    Inside 10 Downing Street, former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was trying to convince current British Prime Minister Liz Truss to hire a witch doctor or shaman to raise the famous Wolfman werewolf Larry Talbot from the dead in the Llanwelly Village Cemetery in Wales and send him to eastern Ukraine to eat and devour Russian soldiers.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday October 12th
    2022.

    Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers) among the gypsies

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    Mariposa Noir

    May 25, 2022 at 8:43 pm (Gothic, Horror, Short Story, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, )

    The witch Mariposa Noir with her imp Iago in the background

    Mariposa Noir had decided that she was going to behead her arch enemy the Sherrif of Tottingham with an axe.

    Lord Malcolm Bellamy the Sherrif of Tottingham had burnt too many of her coven sisters at the stake.

    She was always having to recruit new women to make the coven number stand at 13.

    But Lord Bellamy always managed to subtract the number by raiding their midnight ceremonies and capturing her sisters and then burning them at the stake.

    Most of her coven sisters weren’t as advanced in witchcraft as she was.

    So they weren’t able to quickly turn themselves into ravens like she was and fly away.

    Instead they were captured by Lord Bellamy’s men.

    Then tried, found guilty and burnt at the stake.

    “This Lord Bellamy shall pay,” Mariposa Noir stated as she picked up the axe, “he shall pay with his head.”

    Her imp Iago found this statement so utterly funny for some reason that he started laughing his head off (quite literally).

    “Oh, Iago,” Mariposa kicked the head out the door of the inn where they were staying and put his body in the garbage can.

    Mariposa went upstairs to her room to work out the final details of her plan to ensnare and behead Lord Malcolm Bellamy the Sheriff of Tottingham.

    In the meantime Iago’s head outside the inn was eaten by a brown bear who came out of the woods and his body in the garbage can was taken out and burnt along with the rest of the garbage.

    So that was the end of Iago.

    Mariposa Noir had one advantage when it came to ensnaring the Sheriff of Tottingham.

    The Sheriff did not know what she looked like for she was able to turn herself into a raven quite quickly when Tottingham’s men arrived on the scene of her coven’s midnight ritual.

    And Mariposa Noir was a beautiful woman.

    . . .

    Lord Malcolm Bellamy was enjoying his glass of ale when he arrived at the inn.

    He instructed the innkeeper to carve himself a large piece of roast wild boar off the spit in the fireplace.

    Food and drink, the Sheriff of Tottingham smiled, all that was needed to complete his evening was a beautiful woman…

    The cup Bellamy had in his hands about to touch his lips froze when he saw the vision of Mariposa Noir descending the stairs.

    “Oh, my God,” the Sheriff exclaimed.

    “Good evening, your Lordship,” Mariposa approached.

    “You’ve heard of me?” Tottingham was pleased.

    “You’ve rid the county of so many witches,” Mariposa answered, “Who hasn’t heard of you?”.

    The Sheriff had to agree.

    “I’m afraid not much can be done with your axe whose head broke earlier this evening,” the innkeeper said as he walked through the door, “The blacksmith says you’ll probably need a new axe.”

    “Very well,” Mariposa shrugged.

    “What did you need an axe for?” Tottingham asked.

    “To cut off the heads of some chickens,” Mariposa replied.

    “That is a useful purpose for an axe,” Tottingham crowed as he nodded his head.

    “Perhaps you’d care to lay your head against my bosom,” Mariposa suggested.

    “An excellent idea,” Lord Malcolm Bellamy did just that, “My, what long red painted fingernails you have.”

    “The better to rip your head off, my dear,” Mariposa smiled as she did just that.

    -A short story written by Christopher
    Wednesday May 25th 2022.

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    The Panther Woman and The God of Surprises

    April 22, 2022 at 11:30 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Gothic, History, Horror, Mystery, Mystery/horror, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

    Claudia Simon The Panther Woman

    Carson Cody Albion, a private eye then based in New Orleans, was spending April of 1935 visiting New York City.

    He was visiting an old college acquaintance of his who had now become an inspector in the New York Police Department.

    “Inspector Hennessy,” his secretary brought into her boss’ office the private eye from New Orleans, “a Mr. Carson Cody Albion to see you.”

    “Carson, my old friend,” the Inspector rushed to greet him.

    They discussed old times and college days.

    And how the philosopher Hegel (who they had both studied in the same philosophy course they took) was a major pain in the ass.

    However Hegel’s influence on the world was profound in the decade of the 1930s.

    Hegel, as interpreted through the lens of the left wing Hegelians particularly Marx, was influencing Bolshevism and Communism.

    Hegel, as interpreted through the lens of the right wing Hegelians particularly Nietzsche, was influencing Nazism and Fascism.

    Inspector Hennessy was then discusing cases he was working on.

    One involved a wild animal walking the streets of New York City.

    A black coloured panther with golden green eyes who ripped out the throats of its victims.

    The other involved a serial killer dressed as a clown who slashed the throats of his victims.

    Beside his victims, he left a fortune cookie that always had the same message, “Be prepared to be surprised by the god of surprises.”

    Albion said he’d help Hennessy with the case.

    As Albion walked back to his hotel, he passed a tarot card reading room.

    A very beautiful young woman dressed in the beautiful coloured blouse and skirt of a gypsy woman stood outside.

    “A reading, sir,” she smiled at him.

    “Why not?” Said Albion.

    He did not believe in tarot cards or crystal balls but he had time to kill.

    Interestingly enough the reading sort of matched the case his friend Inspector Hennessy was working on.

    When the reading was over, the lovely brunette gypsy woman smiled at him and said, “Remember, sir, it takes a thief to catch a thief.”

    Curious statement, Albion thought.

    Albion was walking by a Church – Saint Raphael’s- when he noticed the priest locking up.

    “Good evening, Father,” Albion said.

    “Good evening,” said the priest, “You’re Carson Cody Albion are you not?”.

    “Why, yes,” Albion nodded, “You know me?”.

    “I have a niece who lives in New Orleans,” the priest explained, “She’s sent me newspaper clippings about your exploits. She knows I have a weakness for detective stories- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes, G.K. Chesterton’s Father Brown and Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot.”

    “Excellent writers and excellent detectives all of them,” Albion acknowledged.

    “Working on a case here in New York?” The priest asked.

    Albion mentioned the panther and also the clown serial killer who called himself the God of Surprises.

    “This clown serial killer the God of Surprises is a sinister individual,” the priest crossed himself with the Sign of the Cross, “I believe he’s human but yet he’s possesed of a supernatural paranormal power that I believe is demonic in origin.”

    “What makes you think that, Father?” Albion was curious.

    “I have to go to a hospital to hear confessions but meet me here at the rectory at noon tomorrow,” the priest pointed, “It’s right next to the Church.”

    Albion agreed.

    At 2 AM Albion woke up.

    Feeling restless he decided to go for a walk.

    He walked past Saint Raphael’s Church and was surprised to see a moving van out in front.

    A moving van in the middle of the night?

    At a Church?

    The movers were moving Crosses and Crucifixes and statues of Mary and the Saints from the Church into the van.

    This is curious, Albion thought.

    He looked at the name on the van PILTDOWN AND PEKING MOVERS.

    Weird, Albion thought.

    The following morning Albion again walked in the direction of the Church.

    This time for his noon appointment with the priest rector of Saint Raphael’s at the Church rectory.

    He was surprised to see CRIME SCENE yellow tape around the Church building.

    Albion figured that possibly the middle of the night movers were in fact burglars and he Albion had neglected to stop them.

    “What’s happened here, Hennessy?” Albion asked the inspector when he saw him.

    “Well aside from the obvious theft of the Crosses and Crucifixes and statues of Mary and the Saints, the priest Father Lacroix was found dead at the altar with his throat slashed,” Hennessy stated, “along with a fortune cookie carrying the message, BE PREPARED TO BE SURPRISED BY THE GOD OF SURPRISES. Witnesses saw a clown carrying a bloodied knife flee the Church building.”

    Hennessy and Albion went to talk to the rectory’s housekeeper to see if she knew if Father Lacroix had any enemies.

    The housekeeper, an Irish woman in her mid-50s, sobbed that this clown serial killer the God of Surprises must be demonically possessed.

    That’s why the Crosses and Crucifixes and statues of Mary and the Saints were taken out so that the demonic clown serial killer The God of Surprises could enter the Church and kill Father Lacroix.

    Indeed it turned out there was no such moving company as PILTDOWN AND PEKING MOVERS.

    Albion after helping Hennessy had gone to a local public pool for a swim.

    While walking through the pool area he saw this woman.

    Albion stopped to look at her.

    “You recognize me, monsieur?” the woman spoke with a French accent.

    As a matter of fact, he had seen a sketch of her.

    In the notebook of one Barnabas Van Helsing a vampire hunter who wasn’t quite as famous as his elder brother Dr. Abraham Van Helsing.

    Back in the early 1890s the City of New Orleans had been terrorized by a wild black panther with golden green eyes who killed New Orleans citizens by ripping out their throats.

    Van Helsing had caught up with the panther who, the vampire hunter had claimed in his notebook, had shapeshifted into a beautiful woman.

    The woman, Van Helsing claimed was an immortal, who turned into a panther on certain nights.

    She was a 17th Century French noblewoman named Claudia Simon.

    Van Helsing had sketched her picture.

    Albion recognized the woman standing in front of him as being the same woman in Barnabas Van Helsing’s sketch.

    He also recalled something else.

    Something the gypsy woman had said to him yesterday.

    It takes a thief to catch a thief.

    A couple of hours later a very beautiful woman was walking through a dark neighbourhood.

    The sounds of the stilettos on her high heeled shoes clicking the pavement.

    The constant pulling up of her coat and adjusting of her skirt.

    A clown started to follow her.

    He carried a knife.

    He walked very stealthily behind her and was about to strike… when the woman suddenly turned and spun around on her heels.

    He was surprised.

    “You appear to be surprised, oh, God of Surprises,” said the woman with a most exquisite French accent.

    She turned into a panther and ripped out his throat.

    The clown shouted out several last words before he died.

    As Hennessy and Albion wrapped up the investigation, they discovered that the clown was a Jesuit priest named Father Edgar Noeticus who had studied under the French Jesuit priest paleontologist Father Pierre Teilhard de Chardin over in China.

    No one was sure when Father Noeticus had left China and when he returned to the U.S.

    However after he got his throat ripped out by the panther woman, he shouted out one final last cry, “Someday a Pope shall venerate me the God of Surprises.”

    In his right hand as he died he clutched a fortune cookie with the message BE PREPARED TO BE SURPRISED BY THE GOD OF SURPRISES.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday April 22nd
    2022.

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    Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu Makes An Amazing Discovery

    October 17, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Comedy, Culture, Gothic, Horror, Humour, Literature, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu, who drank red wine (unlike Bela Lugosi’s Dracula), was in the study of Transylvania’s Castle Dracula where she had made an amazing discovery:

    Mei-ling Manchu: This is very interesting…

    Mei-ling Manchu: Apparently writer Truman Capote did not write In Cold Blood…

    Mei-ling Manchu: He wrote in… ink.

    Mei-ling Manchu: However the same won’t be said about me.

    -A vampiress Mei-ling Manchu
    Halloween photo montage
    written by Christopher
    Sunday October 17th
    2021.

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    Hudson Valley Halloween Horror

    October 5, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, Horror, Humour, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

    Vincent: I’m afraid, cousin Jenny, that cousin Floyd will be unable to dine with us this evening.

    Jenny: Why ever not?

    Vincent: He had the misfortune of being eaten by a black jaguar in the woods last night.

    Jenny: A black jaguar in the Hudson River Valley?

    Vincent: No doubt the poor creature was a long ways from home. Which may explain why not much was left of Floyd when he was found. Only his right ear and the thumb on his left hand which was tattooed with a drawing of Napoleon. How they were able to identify him.

    Jenny: How positively awful.

    Vincent: I’ll say. He owed me $100. Money that I suppose now will never be repaid.

    Jenny: What was he doing walking in the woods?

    Vincent: No one is sure. The only thing known for sure is that he was wearing a pink nightgown while walking in the woods.

    Jenny: So that’s why they called him Pink Floyd.

    Vincent: Undoubtedly.

    Jenny: Whatever happened to that nutty woman they found walking in the woods last week?

    Vincent: The one who claimed to have come from the year 2021 and believed herself to be a female Christ saying if people vaccinated themselves, they were Apostles of her love.

    “That’s the one,” Jenny nodded.

    “I had her burnt at the stake as a witch,” Vincent answered.

    “Burnt at the stake?” Jenny was shocked.

    “Yes, there was some old wood I was wanting to get rid of,” Vincent nodded, “so I killed two birds with one stone.”

    A pair of large black ravens fell from the sky.

    “She was a witch?” Jenny turned pale.

    “Yes the demons Moloch, Baal and Baphomet visited her room at the village inn,” Vincent explained, “where they jabbed the innkeeper’s daughter with a needle and she died.”

    “Awful,” Jenny shook her head.

    “There is much evil in the land,” Vincent noted just as the clock was 5 minutes shy of twelve, “Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand and whosoever shall be found without the soul for getting down must stand and face the hounds of Hell and rot inside a corpse’s shell.”

    “There’s a three headed dog out there,” Jenny gasped as she looked out the window.

    “That would be Cerberus,” Vincent explained.

    Vincent went over to his sitting room book shelf and grabbed a volume of ancient Koine Greek and looked up the words for “Sit” and “Good boy”.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Tuesday October 5th
    2021.

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    Reblog of A Distant Mirror

    August 4, 2021 at 10:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

    It was on August 4th 1914 that the First World War began when Great Britain and her Empire declared war on Germany.

    The evening before, August 3rd 1914, British Foreign Secretary Sir Edward Grey did everything he could to prevent war.

    Sadly he didn’t succeeed.


    The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka

    Dracul Van Helsing

    A Distant Mirror

    The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka standing in front of a mirror in her London apartment over a 100 years ago.

    Back in 1912, the immortal Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka had obtained a job as a stenographer to Britain’s Foreign Secretary Sir Edward Grey.

    Grey’s career as UK Foreign Secretary lasted exactly 11 years from December 10th 1905 to December 10th 1916.

    When Sir Edward Grey went to receive his seals of office as Foreign Secretary from King Edward VII on December 11th 1905, a dense fog hung over London; a fog so thick that Grey had to use the pavement kerb to feel his way from Buckingham Palace back to the Foreign Office.

    Eleven years to the day, he was back at the Palace, this time to relinquish his seals of office to King George V.

    And London was once again shrouded in fog.

    It was as…

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    Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka On Night of The Wolf Moon 2021

    January 28, 2021 at 11:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )


    The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka on the Night of The Wolf Moon

    The January full moon is called the Wolf Moon and on this night a wolf was terrorizing the countryside.

    It so happened that the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka was in possession of the battle axe of William Wallace the great Scottish warrior and hero of the 1st War of Scottish Independence who defeated the English Army at the Battle of Stirling Bridge in September 1297.

    She also wore the painted red seal of Wallace on her head, left eye and face as she wandered through the snowy woods in search of the wolf terror.

    Then Tanaka came face to face with the wolf terror.

    She recognized the beast right away from ancient and medieval drawings.

    It was the Norse wolf Fenrir.

    It was a good thing for Tanaka that she had the great William Wallace’s battle axe with her.

    Tanaka threw the Wallacian battle axe and beheaded the wolf.

    The wolf’s severed head growled in the now bloody snow surrounding it after it had left its body.

    In the Lupine language, the wolf had said through its growling, “I hate it when that happens.”

    . . .

    The Norse god Odin was staying in a cheap motel room as he would be attending an important meeting the next few days.

    The only places in this town where he was staying had cheap motel rooms.

    Odin had missplaced his spectacles so he was inserting a contact lens into his sole remaining eye.

    He was wanting to watch the 1940 movie Waterloo Bridge starring Vivien Leigh and Robert Taylor on television.

    As Odin tried to get the contact lens out of the tiny glass bottle container that it was in, he reflected back to a time in Australia when he had accidentally inserted a very small circumcized foreskin into his eye after removing it from a tiny glass bottle container.

    “It belonged to some pervert who looked even worse than you did when you dressed up in drag,” Odin had said to his son Thor at the time.

    After Odin had got the contact lens into his eye on this Night of the Wolf Moon, Thor came to inform his father that both Loki and Fenrir had been beheaded.

    Loki had apparently been beheaded yesterday and Fenrir had been beheaded this evening.

    “So,” Odin smiled, “We may not have to fight the Battle of Ragnarok after all.”

    Odin and Thor then ordered pizza and take out Chinese food that they had delivered to their motel room and then proceeded to watch the 1940 version of the film Waterloo Bridge on the room’s TV.

    Thor despite his tough guy macho image was bawling and sobbing like a baby by the time the movie was over.

    Odin phoned down to the front desk to have another box of kleenex tissues brought up to the room.

    “I’ll never be able to stand at that spot on London’s Waterloo Bridge again without bursting into tears,” Thor sobbed, “I won’t be able to look at a Buddha good luck charm without bursting into tears either.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday January 28th
    2021.

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    Selena

    December 1, 2020 at 11:31 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, Life, love, Plays, Poetry, Romance, theatre) (, , , , )

    The old playhouse was closing
    It had a successful run throughout its long life
    As a playhouse theatre
    For 25 years
    From comedies to tragedies
    Romance to dramas
    Several hits
    And a few flops

    It was a victim of its own success
    For so many people
    Were wanting to subscribe to its season
    Of plays
    This old playhouse
    Could not seat all those who wanted to attend
    What its company of performers and directors
    Stage hands and lighting technicians
    Had to offer.

    So last night was the last performance
    In the old playhouse
    And now this 1st of December 1945
    The new playhouse with new seats
    And a much larger seating capacity
    For a much larger audience
    Would be opening its run
    Of Dickens’ classic tale
    For Christmas
    A Christmas Carol

    A Christmas Carol
    With Ebenezer Scrooge
    And his longsuffering clerk
    Bob Cratchit
    And Tiny Tim
    And the ghost of Scrooge’s
    7-years dead partner
    Jacob Marley
    With chains upon his feet
    And the Ghosts of Christmas Past
    Present
    and Yet To Come

    Selena was an actress

    She wasn’t appearing in A Christmas Carol
    But she had appeared in the last play
    Ever performed in this old playhouse
    The play that had finished its run last night
    Wuthering Heights
    Emily Bronte’s classic tale
    of tragic doomed love
    Of lovers who went far beyond star-crossed
    Trying to reach the heavens
    And end up
    Falling
    Into the abyss.
    Of ghosts
    And knocking outside the window
    And howling winds
    And desolate moors
    And souls that are damned
    And what happens when compassion is lacking
    And revenge is always served
    Hot or cold.

    Selena had played Cathy
    The love of Heathcliff’s life
    And the woman who loved Heathcliff
    Hot love
    Passionate love
    Forbidden love
    The love only hinted at by Emily Bronte
    As if Orestes and Electra
    Had come from tragic Mycenae of old
    To perform unfinished business
    On the early 19th Century
    Yorkshire Moors

    Selena sat on coverings
    On the sofa
    Where she as Cathy
    Had sat with the man
    Who was Cathy’s husband
    But not Cathy’s love or lover
    Edgar Linton
    In Bronte’s classic tale

    And then
    As if in one magic moment
    A lighting technician
    Suddenly shone the spotlight
    On Selena
    (Who was dressed to attend
    The new theatre playhouse
    Christmas Carol
    Opening night party)
    As she sat on that sofa

    And that spotlight
    Shone on one promising young actress
    Who had performed many great performances
    In that old playhouse
    And soon would perform many more
    In a new playhouse theatre

    The spotlight would soon fade
    And the lights would come down
    For good
    on the old playhouse
    It may not have been Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre of London
    But it had been the town’s old playhouse
    Bringing joy and sadness
    Heartache and hearbreak
    To so many spectators
    And audiences over the years

    Like many old buildings
    This old playhouse
    Had character
    And thus would be missed
    And its old plays
    And many performances
    Would only be played again
    In the memories
    of the theatre
    Of the mind

    -A poem written by Christopher
    Tuesday December 1st
    2020.

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