Morganella Pendragon
Near the mists of Avalon
The animals gathered
A highflying eagle
And friendly wolves
In these times
Only the animal kingdom
Has friendly wolves
The human kingdom
Is full of demonic wolf spirits
Particularly those inhabiting
The walls of the Vatican
Elon Musk’s artificial moon looked
Perfectly natural
In this Glastonbury atmosphere
And on this night
Protected by her wolf companions
And watched over by her highflying eagle
Morganella Pendragon
Immortal great-niece of the enchantress Morgan
Stood with cross-bow in hand
She had been taught the art of cross-bow
By Chiron the Centaur
And Cernunnos the Celtic stag god
There were very few cross-bow archers
Better than she
And now she would use her cross-bow
To slay
Those hordes of zombie nosferatu
Who had arisen
In this England’s green and pleasant land
Where the heels of devils walk
On England’s mountains green
And devilish countenance on
England’s once pleasant pastures seen.
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 16th
2020
Lilith In The Graveyard Garden of Good and Evil
The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in the graveyard garden of good and evil
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing another one of his Sunday night podcasts:
“Just an important historical note of interest, which if shown to be correct, will be noted by future historians.
Here’s the gist:
A final political showdown is coming January 6th as the U.S. Congress meets to elect CCP stooge Joe Biden as President.
The 1st American Civil War began on April 12th 1861 just 13 days after the previous Easter Sunday (March 31st 1861).
Will the 2nd American Civil War begin on January 7th 2021 just 13 days after the previous Christmas Day?
History has a strange way of balancing itself out in such occurrences.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP
. . .
The body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was rushed from Dublin Ireland to London England by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airship the High Calypso.
It was assumed that the cause of Yaldabaoth’s death was the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka wearing a killer outfit.
However after an operation carried out by a surgical suit wearing Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster wearing a surgical mask and using his surgical gloved lobster claws to perform an incision, it was determined that the cause of death was Yaldabaoth’s eating poisoned lutefisk.
After a quick check of the Irish High King Brian Boru’s Medieval Treatise On Leprechaun Ailments (a copy of which was found in the billionaire vampire Set’s library and rare book collection), apparently eating poisoned lutefisk was one of the few things that could kill a usually immortal leprechaun.
After visualizing London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes wearing a killer outfit (which caused his lobster tank to explode), Michelangelo went into a trance and saw the circumstances which led to Yaldabaoth’s death.
Apparently after visiting the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland, Yaldabaoth had gone to Rome to see the Vatican’s ugly looking Nativity display (which was put up to welcome the arrival of an alien ET saviour who graduated with a degree in New York School of Art Abstract Surrealist and Neo-Modernist Studies).
After barfing all over the Vatican Nativity display, Yaldabaoth then wandered the halls of the Vatican.
At first he thought he had entered a gay bath house but after viewing classical and Renaissance works of art in the halls and on the walls, the wee leprechaun deduced that he was indeed inside the Vatican.
Yaldabaoth went into a room where some Vatican Cardinals had prepared a New Year’s Day feast for their fellow cardinal Robert Cardinal Sarah of Guinea the prefect of the Vatican Congregation For Divine Worship and The Discipline of the Sacraments.
The feast, which consisted of large portions of poisoned Norwegian lutefisk, had been made by a group of atheistic Marxist Cardinals hoping to bump off Cardinal Robert Sarah who was a devout Catholic Christian.
Yaldabaoth, who was starting to feel hungry after having previously barfed all over the Vatican’s Nativity display, then proceeded to eat up all the poisoned lutefisk.
And in so doing saved Robert Cardinal Sarah’s life.
. . .
The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith next to Edgar Allan Poe’s grave in the cemetery of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Baltimore Maryland
The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was kneeling in the cemetery of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Baltimore, Maryland.
She was kneeling in front of Edgar Allan Poe’s grave.
A group of mischievous Irish leprecauns living in Baltimore had put up Irish Celtic crosses atop Poe’s grave and graves next to it that would have caused the Ulster Irish Presbyterian pastor Rev. Ian Paisley of Belfast Northern Ireland to pull his hair out if he had still been alive and seen it.
It was a moonlit night in Baltimore, as billionaire Elon Musk who had just built himself an artificial moon and was giving a full moon trial test run over Baltimore on this lovely windswept evening, and so the moonlight shone down on top of Lilith in front of Poe’s burial place.
The artificial full moonlight of Elon Musk’s artificial moon was causing mysterious looking red roses to grow all over the cemetery.
A raven flew down atop Poe’s gravemarker and croaked “Nevermore”.
Indeed it would be the last time the Raven would croak Nevermore for he croaked shortly thereafter.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 3rd
2021.
Tanaka and Dracul On New Year’s Day 2021
The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka was waiting for Dracul Van Helsing outside the British Museum in London
“Do you realize you and I seem to be the only people in London who are not wearing masks?” Tanaka mentioned as Dracul approached.
“Which for us is probably a good thing,” Dracul pointed out, “For a maskless Renfield R. Renfield is also out walking the streets of London today. Having had too many martinis last night, he’s walking around carrying a taser and tasering anybody who’s wearing a mask calling them “losers” and “disciples of the New World Order”. At least we won’t be tasered.”
“So why did you want to meet me outside the British Museum?” Tanaka asked.
“Because according to a text message I received last night from Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol, Karl Marx’s ghost was seen by museum security guards last night. Since I have no desire to meet Karl Marx’s ghost (unlike most U.S. Democratic Party politicians and 99.9% of those who work at the Vatican), I decided to choose the daytime to meet outside the British Museum,” Dracul explained.
“You’re a strange one, Dracul,” Tanaka smiled, “But in the good sense of that word.”
“You know speaking of strange,” Dracul said, “I just found out that a good friend of mine when she was a girl started out the day reading Jane Austen’s Persuasion and then met the next door neighbour boy whom she had never officially met before and then ended up stealing the boy’s aunt’s panties with the boy and placed it in various places which she compared to a dragon discovering that people could be set on fire when he breathed on them and that somehow the dragon found that deliciously humourous. And so did she on what she had done that day.”
“Yes, you do seem to have a habit of attracting the strange ones and vice-versa,” Tanaka noted.
“I seem to drive the character of Mole crazy in my Wind In The Willows dreams,” Dracul recalled, “although what Toad of Toad Hall thinks of me, he doesn’t say. He’s too busy driving the latest motorcycle or motorcar or motorboat.”
“Dracul, shut up,” Tanaka finally said exasperated.
“Okay,” Dracul fell silent.
“What did you want to see me about?” Tanaka asked.
“Did you know that, prior to Pope Gregory XIII introducing his Gregorian Calendar to replace the old Julian calendar in 1582, that New Year’s Day used to be celebrated on April 1st and not January 1st?” Dracul inquired.
“I did not know that,” Tanaka answered.
“It was on the night of October 4th 1582 that Gregory introduced the Gregorian calendar and the next morning on what would have been October 5th on the old Julian calendar, the calendar jumped ahead 10 days to October 15th. The change was immediately adopted by the people of Spain and its colonies, the people of Portugal and its colonies, the united Commonwealth of Poland and Lithuania and almost all of Italy. The Holy Roman Empire shortly followed. The Protestant states of Europe with their horror of anything that smacked of Popery adopted the calendar more slowly. Prussia finally accepted it in 1610. Britain itself along with its colonies only adopted the Gregorian Calendar in 1750. Thus England was ridiculed by other states as “Fools” for not adopting the calendar and the New Year’s Day of April 1st was referred to as April Fool’s Day. Hence our origin of the term April Fool’s Day.”
“That’s all very interesting, Dracul,” Tanaka nodded, “And this is what you were so anxious to tell me?”.
“I only found all that out this morning,” Dracul explained, “But what really hit me was the date in 1582 that these “new times” came into effect – October 4th,” Dracul went on, “This explains why Pope Francis chose October 4th (in this case October 4th 2019) as the date he brought the Pachamama idol into the Vatican. It’s all tied in with the Great Reset of the global occultist Freemasons and their bastard children the Nazi/Fascists and the Communists. They’re seeking to change times and laws (Daniel 7:25) and tying it in with the Abomination of Desolation (Daniel 9:27).”
“You know, Dracul,” Tanaka smiled, “You strike me as being more like Fox Mulder than even Peter Whitstable is.”
“And will you be my Dana Scully?” Dracul asked.
“What are the benefits to being your Dana Scully?” Tanaka asked.
Dracul showed her.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 1st
2021.
The 366th Night of The Year: Zeus Boasts He Was Alexander The Great’s Father and Odin Admits He Was Adolf Hitler’s Father
An independent radio station in London England was reading the news:
“Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez was rushed to hospital in Madrid earlier tonight after he ate a piece of what turned out to be poisoned Norwegian lutefisk sent to him as a New Year’s Eve gift.
The parcel containing the lutefisk had a British House of Commons postal mark on it.
WHO officials have told the hospital’s doctors to list the death as being caused by Covid-19 should the Spanish Prime Minister end up kicking the bucket…”
. . .
Set Enterprises’ eccentric employee extraordinaire Dr. Marmalade Montague was asking Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster what would happen on the geopolitical world stage if Joe Biden was actually inaugurated President of the United States on January 20th.
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster visualized in his mind Sophia Loren giving Benito Mussolini a spanking and immediately went into a trance where he got in touch with his inner Michelangelo.
Michelangelo came out of the trance and proceeded to type on his waterproof iPad with his lobster claws the following:
Within 48 hours of Joe Biden being inaugurated President of the United States, the following 3 things would happen:
1) Communist China would invade Taiwan to forcibly annex the island nation
2) North Korea would invade South Korea to forcibly annex it
3) Vladimir Putin’s Russia would invade Western Ukraine to forcibly annex the whole country
. . .
The Greek god Zeus and the Norse god Odin (known as Wotan to the ancient and medieval Germans) were having a private New Year’s Eve party in an old Berlin discoteque famed as a meeting place back in the late 1970s at the height of the Cold War where spies would exchange secrets and orgasms (and not necessarily in that order).
Zeus was drinking Greek ouzo and Odin was drinking German beer.
Zeus (whose nose was currently as red as that of the famous reindeer Rudolph) blubbered to Odin, “You know all those legends that said I was actually the father of Alexander the Great? That I seduced Olympias while King Philip II of Macedon was spending the night gambling so he could win himself a new horse? They’re true. I laid Olympias in the same manner I made myself chief god of Olympus. And 9 months later, she gave birth to the future King Alexander III of Macedon (known to history as Alexander the Great). How about you? How many world conquerers did you sire?”.
Odin put down his beer and held his head in shame, “Unlike you with Hera, I was loyal to my wife Freya most of the time. I had a few mistresses whom Freya picked for me. But I confess one night in 1888, I made out with Alois Hitler’s wife while he was busy seizing an undocumented customs shipment of Bavarian sausages. While he was busy inspecting Bavarian sausages, Frau Hitler was inspecting mine. And 9 months later, little Adolf was born in the Austrian village of Braunau am Inn on April 20th 1889.”
“I can see why you wouldn’t want to brag about that,” Zeus bit into his wienerschnitzel.
At another table the Norse trickster god Loki mentioned to his son the Norse wolf Fenrir, “Did you know that 2020 is/was a leap year? Like all leap years, it had 366 days. So when people this year said that this year seemed to last longer than most, they were absolutely right.”
Fenrir didn’t bother answering as at this moment he was having a severe allergic reaction to German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s recipe for Hungarian Rhubarb Pie that he had just eaten.
And at another table, a Eurasian brown bear possessed by the spirit of Grigori Rasputin was drinking Russian vodka while a grey wolf possessed by the spirit of Adolf Hitler (history’s most infamous vegetarian and teetotaler) was drinking Hendrick’s Gin because he had heard it was made with rose and cucumber blissfully unaware that it was made with alcohol as well.
Meanwhile in Rome Italy, pieces of a small meteorite had fallen on the Vatican’s extraterrestrial ET Nativity display.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday December 31st
2020.
Vampiress Golgotha Encounters The Merry Monarch On A Late December Evening
The vampiress Golgotha daughter of the vampiress Lilith in the sitting room of The Wild Boar Tavern
It was a late December evening in England in the year 1660.
Charles II (the man known to history as the Merry Monarch) had been restored to his throne earlier this year as King of England, Scotland and Ireland after years of despotic Puritan rule.
Oliver Cromwell the Puritan dictator par excellence had kicked the bucket a couple of years earlier in 1658.
Christmas Day had recently passed and New Year’s Day was approaching.
And Charles II chose this time to go on a wild boar hunt in the middle of winter.
Not that Charles was really interested in hunting wild boar.
He just used that as an excuse to escape the palace and engage in hunting what occupied his thoughts most of the time.
Not at all upset by the fact that he hadn’t caught a wild boar all day, Charles entered through the door of The Wild Boar Tavern the pub and inn he was staying in overnight on this Feast Day of the Holy Innocents.
As Charles entered through the tavern door, he encountered this vision in the pub’s sitting room:
Vampiress Golgotha daughter of the vampiress Lilith
Upon encountering the vision Charles said aloud, “Jesus.”
“Close,” the woman sipped a goblet of wine, “The name is Golgotha actually.”
“Golgotha?” The monarch although a sex crazed sinner was still a believer in Christ and made the sign of the Cross upon hearing the name of the place of the Lord’s death, “What a strange name to have.”
“My mother was and is a strange woman,” Golgotha acknowledged.
“Still no matter,” Charles sat across from her, “Aren’t you cold on this December night… wearing… um… what you’re wearing?”.
“Or not wearing,” the woman smiled at him.
“Well, yes,” Charles nodded.
“The fire’s warm,” she smiled, “and getting warmer now that you’ve arrived. And we could probably find ways of getting me even warmer.”
“Indeed,” Charles threw his winter cloak over a chair, “I hope I can be of assistance in helping you achieve the appropriate warmth.”
“I’m sure you can, your Majesty,’ Golgotha played with her long red hair, “I’m sure an accomplished hunter such as yourself is good at thrusting his spear.”
“There is no greater spear thruster in the entire kingdom,” Charles bowed.
“I’m sure the bear skin rug by the fireplace is an excellent place to demonstrate your prowess in these matters,” she stood up, walked over to the bear skin rug and lay down.
All the growling and panting that night did not come from the bear’s mouth.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 28th
2020.
Exposed: Krampus’ Christmas Eve 2020 Kidnapping of Santa
As everyone knows Santa Claus lives at the North Pole.
Of course Santa Claus isn’t his original name.
The original name of the extremely tall and very fat elf was Caerthalian.
However Caerthalian was so impressed with the saintly bishop Saint Nicholas of Myra (March 15th 270 AD to December 6th 343 AD) and his beautiful habit of giving gifts at Christmas, that, after the good Saint died, Caerthalian and some of his smaller and shorter elf acquaintances moved up to the North Pole and built a small toy workshop where they made gifts for good little girls and boys that they then delivered around the world by Christmas morn.
As the Middle Ages started to drift into the era of the Renaissance, three little boys Martin Luther, John Calvin and Ulrich Zwingli never received any gifts at Christmas from Caerthalian (who had since changed his name to Santa Claus a variant of the Dutch Sinter Klaas which was the Dutch nickname for Saint Nicholas) because they were consistently naughty throughout the year.
As such when grown men, all 3 consistently argued for justification by faith.
Thus from Caerthalian’s/Santa Claus’ penchant for only giving gifts to good little girls and boys, the seeds of the Protestant Reformation were born.
Caerthalian’s/Santa Claus’ discriminatory policy of not giving gifts to the ethically challenged would be thoroughly repudiated by Jorge Mario Bergoglio in the 2nd decade of the 21st Century.
Turning to the point where the second and third decades of the 21st Century would merge- Christmas Eve 2020- after a meeting of demons and fallen angels in the newly formed Council For Inclusive Debauchery, it was agreed that the half-demon half-goat Krampus (who was the most unholy creature at December in the territory of the old Holy Roman Empire) should kidnap Santa Claus on the night of December 24th and commandeer his gift laden one horse open sleigh that was driven by eight reindeer (Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen) plus Rudolph (who had been putting in a special cameo appearance every Christmas Eve since 1939).
Olive the other reindeer would stay home and get plastered drinking Mrs. Claus’ rum laced eggnog.
This year Krampus would be carrying a special gift that was made by the Wuhan Institute of Virology.
Bill Gates was already rubbing his hands with glee as visions of the next vaccine danced in his head.
Dr. Anthony Fauci and the Xi Jinping Commie loving idiots at WHO had already told the children of the world that Santa was immune from Covid and they should not be afraid to hug the jolly old elf if they see him.
Any change in Santa’s appearance from previous Christmasses (i.e. looking like Krampus) could be explained by an allergic skin reaction to a teen elf acne medication he was taking.
With the blessings of Dr. Anthony Fauci and the WHO, Krampus as the Santa imposter set out on his Christmas Eve mission.
It was agreed by all involved with the Council For Inclusive Debauchery that Rudolph plus the original 8 reindeer plus Olive the other reindeer should be held under quarantine so that reports of the Krampus posing as Santa story would not get out to the world and give the mainstream Marxist media in the West a chance to think up a cockinbull story knocking any honest reports of the incident.
Rudolph however managed to escape and got to the Set Estate in London where he told British MP Renfield R. Renfield the story.
Renfield went in and informed his former employer the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set of what had happened.
“What reindeer relayed this info?” Set asked.
“Rudolph,” Renfield replied.
“How do you know it was Rudolph?” Set inquired.
“Because of his red shiny nose,” Renfield answered.
Set lit himself a cigar and asked, “What is the cause of his red shiny nose?”.
“Could it be Oom-Pah-Pah?” The woman playing the female character of Nancy sang on the old LP record belonging to Set which contained songs from the 1960 musical Oliver! a musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic 1838 novel Oliver Twist.
Renfield, looking back into the living room where he noticed Rudolph hitting the bottles of gin, remarked, “The lady on the record says it all.”
-A Christmas children’s story
for adults
and
vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 26th
2020.
One Silent Night
It was a quiet night in 1816
When a young Austrian priest
Joseph Mohr
Went for a walk
Around the village of Oberndorf
In Austria
He looked out over a very quiet
snow-laden town
And the stars glistening
In the frosty heavens above
In his mind’s eye
He saw a beautiful young maiden
Wrapping a newborn babe
In a blanket
In a stable
In the back courtyard
Of an old inn
At the edge of a small town
The young maiden sang the sweetest lullaby
To her young son
He did not understand the words to the song
The young maiden sang
But it was the sweetest melody he had ever heard
He went home and wrote words to the melody
He did not know the words the young maiden sang
But he wrote the words of what he himself
Saw that night
A couple of years later
Franz Zaber Gruber
The choir director
Of Saint Nicholas Church
In Oberndorf
Wrote music to accompany
The words that Father Mohr
Had written to accompany
The melody he heard in his mind
And that Christmas Eve in 1818
At Saint Nicholas Church in Oberndorf
Austrian villagers first heard
The song lyrics and melody
To
Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht
Silent night, holy night.
-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday December 23rd 2020
The Night Before
Christmas Eve 2020.