Renfield Sings The Liebestod From Tristan und Isolde

January 19, 2018 at 9:04 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Humour, Music, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Renfield Sings The Liebestod From Tristan und Isolde

Various Opposition parties in the British House of Commons were hoping to delay a vote on a portion of Stage One of the Brexit bill by arranging a filibuster this evening.

They agreed the person to deliver the filibuster would be newly elected British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Renfield decided to filibuster the vote by singing a song from a German opera since he didn’t figure any British MP had ever done that before.

And this would be another way to get himself Sir Renfield R. Renfield MP into the history books.

Renfield went home to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion to pick up a musical score and lyric sheet from Amadeus Emanon, who being a concert pianist, had several.

“I decided to sing a song from a German opera to filibuster this bill,” Renfield announced to Amadeus as he went through the latter’s musical score and lyric sheets.

“But you don’t speak German,” Amadeus pointed out.

“True,” Renfield admitted, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t sing it.”

Renfield went through the musical score and lyric sheets.

“Hm, this sounds interesting,” Renfield picked out one, “the Liebestod from Richard Wagner’s 1859 opera Tristan und Isolde.”

Renfield had left before Amadeus could point out to the parliamentarian that the Liebestod was sung by a female lead in the opera being the climactic end of the opera as the heroine Isolde sings over the hero Tristan’s dead body.

Later as Amadeus Emanon watched the BBC Evening Late News that night, the announcer announced, “And now this just in… a group of armed men with machine guns has stormed into the public gallery of the House of Commons and fired their bullets down on the floor into the direction of an Opposition MP who was trying to filibuster against a procedural bill on government Brexit legislation by singing the Liebestod from Wagner’s Tristan und Isolde.
Apparently the armed men are not members of a terrorist group but members of the German Opera Lovers’ Association.
According to a report from the BBC Culture critic who is at the scene, “the bullets have unfortunately missed Mr. Renfield…”
And this just in from Berlin, the government of Chancellor Angela Merkel have just announced that they have officially disinvited Mr. Renfield from visiting Germany πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ next month…

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 19th
2018.

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Sora Aoi: Renfield’s Heartbreak

January 15, 2018 at 9:28 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, History, Movies, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Sora Aoi: Renfield’s Heartbreak

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set sat in the chair of his living room and read a story in The Times of London about how millions of young Chinese males were heartbroken when they heard the news that Japanese porn star Sora Aoi was getting married.

“Can you imagine,” Set remarked to his butler and valet Athelstan who was busy dusting and polishing the furniture, “people becoming heartbroken over a porn star getting married?”.

“It positively boggles the mind, sir,” remarked Athelstan who polished the jar containing Donovan’s brain from the 1953 sci-fi film.

“What is this world coming to?” Set shrugged his shoulders.

“I was pondering the very same thing the other day, sir,” quipped Athelstan who had dropped a glass globe of the world the day before that had smashed into a thousand pieces.

“I think I shall retire to my library and read the works of Virgil in the original Latin,” Set put his paper down and headed upstairs.

“There’s nothing like Dido of Carthage killing herself on a burning funeral pyre to make one forget that a contemporary porn star is getting married, sir,” Athelstan discovered an unopened bag of marshmallows in the fireplace.

As Set entered the second floor of his mansion and walked down the hall, he thought he heard loud crying and sobbing coming from inside Renfield’s bedroom.

“Amadeus,” Set asked his personal concert pianist as he passed him in the hallway, “Is that Renfield I can hear crying through his bedroom door?”.

“Yes, boss,” Amadeus nodded, “Renfield’s been like that since this morning when he heard the news that Japanese porn star Sora Aoi is getting married.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 15th
2018.

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Happy Birthday, Sherrielock Holmes

January 6, 2018 at 9:18 pm (Detective story, Entertainment, History, Literature, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Happy Birthday, Sherrielock Holmes

The quite literally immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ lesser known twin sister) was turning 164 today.

Many years ago, Sherrielock had eaten some Lingzhi Supernatural mushrooms and become immortal.

Sherrielock was being taken out to dinner by her great grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

They arrived at the Avebury Arms Pub to sample their delicious πŸ˜‹ steak and kidney pies.

Sherrielock was dressed in an elegant turquoise green evening dress.

“Tell me, Aunt Sherrielock, did you ever offer a plate of Lingzhi Supernatural mushrooms to great uncle Sherlock?” Cadbury was anxious to know.

“I did,” Sherrielock nodded, “but he refused. He longed to meet Irene Adler again.”

“So great uncle Sherlock did come to believe in an afterlife?” Cadbury inquired.

“He did,” Sherrielock sampled her steak and kidney pie, “Ummm, heaven.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 6th
2018.

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Video Presentation On Sherry Valerie Hilles’ The Gothic Exorcist’s Chronicles

January 5, 2018 at 10:03 pm (Book Reviews, books, Entertainment, Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, The Supernatural) (, , , )

Video Presentation On Sherry Valerie Hilles’ The Gothic Exorcist’s Chronicles

My friend and fellow writer Sherry Valerie Hilles has recently published the 2nd volume of her GOTHIC EXORCIST’s CHRONICLES entitled The Fallen.

Volume One was entitled The Devil’s Promises.

Here is a short video presentation at YouTube about her two books:

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Sir Renfield and Sir Winston On New Year’s Day

January 1, 2018 at 10:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Sir Renfield and Sir Winston On New Year’s Day

Sir Renfield R. Renfield (who called himself that even though he hadn’t been officially knighted yet) had taken his oil painting of Sir Winston Churchill home with him from his MP’s office to his bedroom in the colossal London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

As he opened up Churchill’s last bottle of brandy to have a drink, Churchill’s image left the painting and sat in the chair next to the fireplace in Renfield’s bedroom.

“So I hear congratulations are in order,” Churchill said over his spectral glass of brandy.

“You’ve heard about my knighthood?” Renfield smiled.

“Indeed,” Churchill nodded, “what were you knighted for if I might ask? I myself was knighted for having defeated Nazi Germany during the Second World War.”

“Well,” Renfield stuck out his chest, “I was knighted for having planned a British Brigade of Gurkhas raid on an ISIS Islamic State training camp in Libya. I had the Gurkhas tie homemade explosives to the terrorists’ tiny testicles and then had them detonated at the touch of a button.”

“There’s nothing like striking at the source of what makes a man a terrorist or a Nazi,” Churchill nodded approvingly.

Churchill then lit himself a spectral cigar with a spectral match and looked at Renfield.

“So,” Churchill blew spectral smoke, “I hear young Prince Harry is getting married.”

“He is,” Renfield smiled, “to Meghan Markle.”

“They seem to make a handsome, charming and loving couple,” Churchill looked at the photo of the couple on Renfield’s writing desk.

“They are,” Renfield agreed, “though there are some silly twits in Britain who disagree with Harry’s choice.”

“In heaven’s name, why?” Churchill’s gaze peered out over his spectral glass of brandy.

“Well, for one thing she’s American,” said Renfield.

“My mother Jennie Jerome was American,” Churchill snorted angrily.

“She was,” Renfield nodded.

“And then Meghan’s a divorcee,” said Renfield.

“Charles the current Prince of Wales is married to a divorcee,” Churchill almost spilled his spectral brandy and spectral cigar ash on his spectral gray pants, “Camilla Parker Bowles. These are no longer the days of Archbishop Lang of Canterbury who caused such a fuss when King Edward VIII wanted to marry American divorcee Mrs. Wallis Simpson back in the 1930s.”

“No,” Renfield agreed, “these are the days of Pope Francis who saw nothing wrong with my friend the Kraken having himself crowned Emperor Napoleon VI of France and his wife Medusa the ex-Gorgon being crowned Empress in Paris’ Notre Dame Cathedral.”

The late wartime British Prime Minister raised his ghostly eyebrows for he was not familiar with this bit of news.

“Any other reason why these twits should object to Meghan Markle?” Churchill asked.

“Her mother is African-American,” Renfield drew a Hitler moustache on a picture of former Louisiana politician and former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke in an American newsmagazine.

“My mother had Iroquois blood in her veins which meant I did as well when I was alive,” Churchill finished his spectral brandy and spectral cigar and walked back into the painting.

“Dinner is being served,” Athelstan the butler and valet called out to the household as he rang the gong downstairs.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 1st
2018.

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A Mermaid On Boxing Day

December 26, 2017 at 9:00 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

A Mermaid On Boxing Day

Gordon “The Black” Donnelly had won his Boxing Day fight in the boxing ring.

He left the broken down warehouse where he had boxed and walked down to the pier.

He was covered in sweat and blood.

He reflected on the past 8 years of his life ever since he had been brought back from the dead by South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo.

As a boxer, he had fought in Ontario back in the 1880s and in California back in the 1890s.

He had retired from boxing in 1899 and moved to Honolulu where he died on June 6th 1910.

Dr. Makabo had raised him from the dead in June 2009 on behalf of a billionaire sports promoter who wanted to sponsor a boxer that would someday win the World Heavyweight Title.

And the promoter thought a supernaturally controlled boxer as in one brought back from the dead would be able to do that.

It was true Gordon “The Black” Donnelly had never lost a fight in the past 8 years.

But he still wasn’t seen as a contender namely because boxing was no longer the sport it once was.

UFC Fighting had taken away a lot of the promoters and big money.

Donnelly stood on the pier and looked down at the water.

He noticed the face of a startlingly beautiful woman staring up at him from underneath the water.

Thinking she was drowning, Donnelly jumped in.

Underneath the water, he noticed the woman was topless with a firm sumptuous pair of breasts.

He looked down and noticed the rest of her was one giant fish tail.

“A mermaid?” Donnelly thought to himself.

The shock of encountering a mermaid caused the living dead boxer to lose consciousness.

The mermaid quickly grabbed the unconscious boxer and dragged him up to the shore.

She administered mouth to mouth while in the distance a choir hired by a store for its Boxing Day sale sang, “Good King Wenceslas looked out on the Feast of Stephen…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 26th
2017.

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Arthur On Christmas Day

December 25, 2017 at 10:48 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Arthur On Christmas Day

The boy Arthur walked through the forest.

He was walking back home to retrieve his brother Kay’s sword.

His brother had forgotten it the day of a big tournament.

As he walked, the lovely dark-haired wood nymph Morgana walked out from behind a tree.

She stood there in a lovely silvery white dress.

“Arthur,” she called out to him.

“Morgana,” Arthur smiled.

They walked back to her cabin where they spent the afternoon making love.

When they finished, Arthur walked back to the tournament.

A couple of miles from the tournament site, it suddenly hit Arthur that he had been so busy using his own sword that afternoon, he had completely forgotten about his brother Kay’s.

It was then that he noticed an ancient church and churchyard.

In the churchyard was a large stone with a sword sticking out of it.

Arthur walked over to the stone and pulled out the sword.

“This seems to be a fairly good sword,” Arthur smiled, “even better than Kay’s. My brother should be pleased.”

Arthur turned in the direction of the tournament.

He failed to notice the inscription written on the stone, “Whosoever pulleth this sword out of this stone is destined to become the great High King of the Britons.”

A new destiny had arrived for Britain on that Christmas Day.

A destiny in more ways than one.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 25th
2017.

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Zenobia and The San Nicola

December 7, 2017 at 8:34 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Zenobia and The San Nicola

The captain of the Spanish ship San Nicola was sailing ⛡️ his vessel just off the Mediterranean coast of Syria πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ near the port city of Lattakia.

He expected he would soon be seeing the giant sized statue of Queen Zenobia that was seated on a giant throne on a rock in the middle of the sea off that coast.

Zenobia was a 3rd century Queen of the Syria based Palmyrene Empire.

The capital of her Empire was at Palmyra (where in this decade the ISIS Islamic Sate once had control of the city and blew up various statues and temple walls in the city).

Zenobia was born in 240 AD at Palmyra.

She married Odaenathus the king of Palmyra in 260 AD.

When her husband was assassinated in 267 AD, she became the Queen Regent of Palmyra for her son Vaballathus.

In 270 AD, Zenobia launched an invasion of neighbouring lands that culminated with the annexation of Egypt.

When the Roman Emperor Aurelian moved against her in 272 AD, Zenobia declared her son Emperor and gave herself the title of Empress.

The Romans were eventually victorious in their war against her.

After Palmyra was captured by Aurelian, Zenobia was taken back to Rome where she spent the remainder of her life.

She died circa 274 AD.

As Captain Hernandez of the San Nicola approached the rock with the statue, he noticed the statue suddenly start to crumble in front of his eyes.

As the marble around Zenobia’s image crumbled, a giant flesh and blood beautiful woman (bearing the features of the statue) arose from her marble throne and walked through the water in the direction of land.

Captain Hernandez decided he needed a drink.

If he was going to start seeing things, then perhaps it would be best if he were not sober.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 7th
2017.

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Battle of Jerusalem- 1917 And Now 2017?

December 4, 2017 at 10:15 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Battle of Jerusalem – 1917
And Now 2017?

The Mossad Agent called the Controller of The Golem was reading an Israeli newspaper that said U.S. President Donald Trump might recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s eternally undivided capital this week.

The Controller of The Golem was an astute enough geopolitical analyst (unlike Mr. Trump) to realize that such a formal unilateral announcement on the part of the U.S. (which had not been arrived at in formal Israeli-Palestinian peace negotiations) would probably cause massive unrest in the Arab and Islamic world.

And might even lead to an all out war in the Middle East between Israel and the Muslim world.

Nathan (the Controller’s real name) reflected on the fact that it was 100 years ago this late autumn and early winter that the Battle of Jerusalem was fought.

The Battle of Jerusalem fought between November 17th 1917 to December 30th 1917 was a battle fought in the Middle Eastern theatre of the First World War.

The opposing forces involved in the Battle was the British Empire against the Ottoman and German Empires.

Forces of the United Kingdom, Australia, India and New Zealand were fighting Turkish and German troops.

The commander of British forces was General Edmund Allenby.

The battle was fought on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea north of Jaffa into the Judean Hills in and around Jerusalem.

Jerusalem had been conquered by the Ottoman Empire in 1517 and now exactly 400 years later its rule was about to end.

The British Commander General Allenby had been assigned by his superiors in London to take the city but he had been assigned an impossible task.

He had been ordered to take the city without a shot being fired.

How on Earth, Allenby asked his superiors, was that to be done?

“Pray,” was the directive the British wartime cabinet sent back.

The answer did not seem very helpful to Allenby.

Nevertheless Allenby followed the advice and prayed.

And it happened shortly afterwards that Allenby was given a copy of Bible scholar Dr. H. Aldersmith’s 1898 book The Fulness of The Nations.

The book was an analysis of the Old Testament prophecies regarding Israel.

In his analysis of Isaiah Chapter 31, Dr. Aldersmith believed that the United Kingdom would have a part to play in the restoration of Jerusalem to the Jews and this would be accomplished through some type of flying machine.

Dr. Aldersmith based his belief on Isaiah 31 verses 4 and 5.

Verse 4 reads “For thus hath the Lord spoken unto me, Like as the lion and the young lion roaring on his prey, when a multitude of shepherds is called forth against him, he will not be afraid of their voice, nor abase himself for the noise of them: so shall the Lord of hosts come down to fight for Mount Zion, and for the hill thereof.”

Verse 5 reads, “As birds flying, so will the Lord of hosts defend Jerusalem; defending also he will deliver it; and passing over he will preserve it.”

Dr. Aldersmith had interpreted the lion as being Britain and the young lion as the colonies of the Empire.

The symbol for Britain of course had long been a lion.

And as this postcard from World War 1 illustrates, Britain thought of itself as a lion and its colonies as young lion cubs:

https://goo.gl/images/dQnL9M

Dr. Aldersmith had interpreted Isaiah 31 v. 5 as referring to some type of flying machine.

Adding 400 to the year 1517 as 400 was an important Biblical number (The Israelites had been enslaved in Egypt for 400 years), Dr. Aldersmith believed that Britain would capture Jerusalem from the Ottoman Turks through the use of a flying machine in the year 1917.

All of this Dr. Aldersmith had written about in his 1898 book.

Of course 5 years after the publication of Aldersmith’s book, the Wright Brothers invented the airplane.

And 14 years after that, airplanes were in use in 1917 but not commonly and most people (particularly those in the Middle East) had never seen one.

Aldersmith’s interpretation of Isaiah 31 was Gen. Allenby’s inspiration.

He would fly planes over Jerusalem and drop notes over the city saying in Arabic, “Surrender the city! Allenby.”

Unbeknownst to Allenby, there was an Arab saying that said, “The Turks will not leave Jerusalem until the river Nile flows in Palestine and the Prophet expels them from the city.”

British troops had been stationed in Egypt prior to 1917 and Lt. Gen. Sir Archibald Murray had built a pipeline to supply fresh Nile water to British troops.

By 1917 the water had arrived along with the troops in Palestine.

The saying spread among the Arabs that year that the River Nile was now flowing in Palestine.

Secondly, Allenby’s airdropped note, when written in Arabic, looked like it said, “Surrender the city! Al Nabi.”

Al Nabi means The Prophet in Arabic.

It looked like the Prophet was calling on them to surrender Jerusalem in notes from the sky.

The Turks immediately started leaving the city when mysterious flying objects started sending messages from Al Nabi.

From the evening of December 8th 1917 and all through the night, Turkish troops were leaving Jerusalem.

By early the following morning of December 9th 1917, all had gone and the Mayor of Jerusalem with a small party came under a white flag to surrender the keys of the city.

The formal surrender was accepted by General O’ Shea on behalf of Gen. Allenby.

Gen. Allenby himself took the official ceremonial surrender two days later on December 11th 1917.

Interestingly enough the evening of December 8th to the day of December 9th 1917 fell on the 24th of the Hebrew month of Kislev on the Jewish calendar that year.

The 24th of Kislev also known as Hanukkah was the day the Maccabees overthrew the Syrian Greeks and turfed out their idols from the Temple of Jerusalem in 167 BC.

Things seemed to have come full circle that year of 1917 the Controller of The Golem reflected.

And now what might this year 2017 bring? he wondered.

He felt an urge to talk to his friend Miranda.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 4th
2017.

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Renfield and The Katsushika Hokusai Painting of A Wedding In Cana of Galilee

November 27, 2017 at 9:47 pm (Art, Arts, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield and The Katsushika Hokusai Painting of A Wedding In Cana of Galilee

Dashwood Forrest the owner of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London England entered the Westminster parliamentary office of Renfield R. Renfield MP.

“Mr. Renfield,” Dashwood said, “I would like to thank you for saving my art gallery from being robbed last week.”

“That’s all right, Dash,” Renfield smiled, “I just happened to be walking by your gallery at the time and noticed it was being robbed. It gave me a chance to practice my Kung Fu and Karate skills.”

“I hope the courts give a severe punishment to the perpetrators,” Dashwood frowned.

“Well some of our judges are bleeding hearts but in this case I think the perpetrators got the punishment they deserve,” Renfield grinned.

The MP never bothered to inform Dashwood that he had fed the robbers to the giant piranhas owned by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

“I had paintings worth several millions of dollars in that particular exhibit which were on loan to me,” Forrest breathed heavily, “and of course I couldn’t afford the insurance on them so I didn’t get them insured. You saved me from bankruptcy by stopping that robbery.”

“Glad to help out,” Renfield smiled.

“As a token of my appreciation and thanks, I’d like to give you this painting I recently came in possession of,” Forrest handed him a wrapped package πŸ“¦, “have you ever heard of the great Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai?”.

“Yes I have,” Renfield nodded.

“It’s a very rare Hokusai painting,” Dashwood explained, “one unheard of by most art historians. It’s a painting of the wedding in Cana of Galilee at which Jesus turned water into wine 🍷. It had been hidden in Hokusai’s own lifetime because Christianity and Christian depictions in art were illegal in Japan at the time.”

“Wow, it must be a really valuable painting then,” Renfield held a napkin in front of his mouth so that Dashwood Forrest wouldn’t see him salivating, “are you sure you want to give it to me?”.

“It’s the least I could do,” said a grateful Dashwood Forrest.

Later Renfield went to an exclusive London restaurant so he could meet with an aide-de-camp to German Chancellor Angela Merkel to discuss British-German relations.

As he sat there at his table, Prince Harry and his fiancΓ©e Meghan Markle were then seated by the head waiter at the table next to him.

“Say,” Prince Harry spoke to Renfield, “aren’t you Renfield R. Renfield the new Member of Parliament for the Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds constituency?”.

“I am,” Renfield smiled at the prince’s recognition.

“My grandmother speaks quite highly of you,” Prince Harry was referring to the Queen, “she mentioned how you rescued one of her corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.”

“I just did what any loyal British subject would do,” Renfield smiled.

Renfield did not mention the fact that he was the one who threw the corgi into the swimming pool in the first place when everyone else’s back was turned so he could then play the role of hero and earn the gratitude of a grateful Queen.

“My grandmother also thinks you’ll make a great Prime Minister some day,” the Prince continued with his praise, “probably Britain’s greatest since Churchill.”

Renfield did not have the heart or the modesty to disagree with this flattering description of himself so he just said, “Allow me to congratulate you both on your engagement πŸ’.”

“Thank you,” Prince Harry and Meghan said simultaneously.

“I was going to have this engagement present I got the two of you delivered to you later but seeing as how you’re both here, I’ll give it to you now,” Renfield handed over the package containing the Katsushika Hokusai painting.

When they opened it, Renfield gave the historical background of the painting that he had gotten from Dashwood Forrest.

“Wow, thank you,” said Prince Harry.

“I think this honourable gentleman should have an invitation to our wedding πŸ‘°, don’t you, Harry?” Meghan said.

“Of course,” the Prince agreed.

And that’s how Renfield R. Renfield the freshman MP managed to wriggle an invitation to a Royal Wedding.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 27th
2017.

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