221 B Baker Street and The Italy Affair

January 3, 2022 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

“Contessa, Prime Minister Gladstone is at the door,” the butler informed the Contessa.

It was January 3rd 1894.

Or so Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster noticed on the calendar page on the desk in the living room as he noticed the pair in his vision.

“1894,” Michelangelo recalled the year from his History textbook (which was no longer used in the homo sapien public education system), “that was Gladstone’s last year as Prime Minister.”

“Gladstone and the Contessa were discussing Italy,” the ghost of Winston Churchill remarked as he sipped a spectral glass of red wine next to Michelangelo’s aquarium, “Often what was happening in Rome would eventually set the stage for the rest of Europe. Britain ruled the waves and the world but Rome seemed to rule the psyches of Europe.”

“I never could figure out Italian psyches,” the ghost of Sigmund Freud commented.

“Nor I,” Carl Jung’s ghost piped up.

. . .

The ghosts of William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli were banging at the door of 221B Baker Street.

Not realizing that Sherlock Holmes no longer lived there anymore.

And in Italy, the ghost of Benito Mussolini was in control of the current Italian government.

. . .

In the meantime, the government of Germany (Italy’s World War II ally) had released data suggesting that most of the fully vaccinated will have full blown Covid-19 vaccine induced acquired immunodefiency syndrome (AIDS) by the end of January 2022.

Naturally this data wasn’t being reported by the brainless mainstream meda.

Evil deranged mad scientist Dr. Anthony Fauci (an Italian-American physician of ill repute save among morons) was ecstatic upon hearing the news that Germans would be coming down with AIDS.

He would make a fortune from selling his drug AZT in Germany.

Meanwhile Germany’s new Chancellor Olaf Scholz was reading the report that said that the immune systems of the fully vaccinated have already degraded to an average of minus 87%.

Scholz put the report through the paper shredder as the ghost of Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels applauded.

. . .

Meanwhile as the German people could expect to be keeling over from AIDS by the end of this month, the ghost of Benito Mussolini controlled Italian government in Rome announced last night that the Death Serum would be made obligatory for all over 18 years of age as of January 5th 2022.

A Committee For The Salvation of the Italian Republic was immediately formed which called for the arrest of the current government of Italy.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield approved of the formation of the Committee For The Salvation of The Italian Republic.

Remarked Renfield, “There’s no better place for the current Italian government to be than in jail. Save for the day they’re all hanging from the gallows upside down like Benito Mussolini and his mistress.”

Meanwhile the ghost of Sir Henry Baskerville (who was Sherlock Holmes’ best known client) had sent the ghost of the Hound of the Baskervilles over to attack Fascist pig Dutch police in the City of Amsterdam.

This past weekend Dutch police had set the dogs on anti-lockdown protestors in Amsterdam.

So now with the permission of Persephone the Queen of the Underworld, the Hound of the Baskervilles was returning the favour.

So just as German citizens would soon be dying of AIDS, the Italian government would soon be in jail and then on the gallows, Dutch police in Amsterdam would soon be dying of sulphuric rabies.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 3rd
2022.

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Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu Makes An Amazing Discovery

October 17, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Comedy, Culture, Gothic, Horror, Humour, Literature, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu, who drank red wine (unlike Bela Lugosi’s Dracula), was in the study of Transylvania’s Castle Dracula where she had made an amazing discovery:

Mei-ling Manchu: This is very interesting…

Mei-ling Manchu: Apparently writer Truman Capote did not write In Cold Blood…

Mei-ling Manchu: He wrote in… ink.

Mei-ling Manchu: However the same won’t be said about me.

-A vampiress Mei-ling Manchu
Halloween photo montage
written by Christopher
Sunday October 17th
2021.

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Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos and Morons While Stalin’s Saints Keep Marching On

October 16, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was about to get off a bus.

A fellow with a stupid looking expression on his face beat him to the back door exit (the fellow was so stupid looking that Pan guessed he was probably a supporter of vaccine mandates).

Anyways when the green light went on, the fellow was too stupid to wave his hand in front of the spot that said WAVE HERE to open the door.

Goatee was finally forced to wave his hand in front of the spot while the idiot in front of him stood totally clueless.

As the idiot got off the bus and stood there looking stupid, an ugly looking woman (of the thin ugly looking stoat variety according to the Goatee Classification System of Facially Aesthetically Challenged Uglos) ran in front of Goatee to get on the bus Goatee just got off.

Goatee immediately beheaded the thin ugly stoat and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

He did the same to her moronic looking boyfriend who ran alongside her.

He beheaded the jerk with incredibly bad taste in women and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee then went after the stupid looking idiot who did not know how to get off a bus.

“If you had known how to get off a bus, bozo, or at least stepped aside until I got off in front of you, I wouldn’t have had the misfortune of having that ugly looking creature run in front of me,” Goatee pointed out, “If you’re too stupid to know how to ride a bus, then don’t ride a bus, asshole.”

Goatee then beheaded the idiot and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

The idiot would not be riding a bus ever again.

Goatee then rushed to get on the next bus.

A fat ugly blimp (on the Goatee Classification System of Facially Aesthetically Challenged Uglos) decided to walk past Goatee to go up to flirt with the bus driver.

The bus driver must not have been from Calgary originally because he turned down the fatso uglo’s flirtations.

The fat ugly blimp on her way to the back of the bus (where she should have stayed) found herself being beheaded by Pan Goatee and cut up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon goat arrived on the bus to carry the fat ugly blimp’s remains down to Tartarus.

“This is bringing back memories of why I’ve stopped riding the bloody Calgary Transit System,” Goatee commented, “Too many uglos and morons riding it.”

As Celine Dion used to sing, “It’s all coming back to me now…”

. . .

Celine Dion would not be singing the song My Heart Will Go On in the case of a 17-year-old Ontario hockey player Sean Hartman who died of a heart attack two weeks after receiving the vaccine jab against Covid.

Sean Hartman who had been playing hockey in Beeton, Ontario since he was 5 years old absolutely loved playing hockey.

But he wouldn’t be allowed to play hockey this season unless he got vaccinated.

So he got vaccinated and two weeks later he was dead.

At the same time, Public Health Ontario dryly released a report covering vaccination data from December 2020 to August 7th 2021 and dryly concluded “the highest reporting rate of myocarditis/pericarditis was observed in males age 18-24 years following second dose.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision of British MP Renfield R. Renfield overseeing the execution of New South Wales Chief Health Officer Dr. Kerry Chant by firing squad.

Dr. Kerry Chant was the ugly looking airhead who said, “A Covid-forever New World Order is the New Normal.”

Dr. Kerry Chant was wearing a hood over her head to prevent the firing squad from barfing all over the place which would have occurred if they saw her repulsively ugly and stupid looking face.

New South Wales would not have suffered any problems in the first place if Pan Goatee had been a citizen of that state.

Michelangelo applauded vigourously with his lobster claws as Dr. Kerry Chant was blown away to kingdom come by Renfield’s firing squad.

Meanwhile as a result of the massive vaccination campaign going on in the Neo-Maoist Neo-Stalinst Nazi Police State of Victoria in Australia, that state just got a new record of 2,297 new cases in a single day and 62.65% of those cases were among the double dosed.

Michelangelo sees people lining up to take the vaccine shot and as they do so, the Haitian Vodou spirit of Baron Samedi sings his own paraphrased version of an old New Orleans spiritual hymn,

“When Stalin’s saints come marching in,
When Stalin’s saints come marching in,
you better be, be, be in that number
When Stalin’s saints come marching in…”

Those lining up either keel over and die after getting the shot or turn into living dead zombies with their flesh falling off and wander the streets in search of brains.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 16th
2021.

Baron Samedi partying it up with a female disciple and singing, “When Stalin’s saints keep marching in…”

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Hudson Valley Halloween Horror

October 5, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, Horror, Humour, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Vincent: I’m afraid, cousin Jenny, that cousin Floyd will be unable to dine with us this evening.

Jenny: Why ever not?

Vincent: He had the misfortune of being eaten by a black jaguar in the woods last night.

Jenny: A black jaguar in the Hudson River Valley?

Vincent: No doubt the poor creature was a long ways from home. Which may explain why not much was left of Floyd when he was found. Only his right ear and the thumb on his left hand which was tattooed with a drawing of Napoleon. How they were able to identify him.

Jenny: How positively awful.

Vincent: I’ll say. He owed me $100. Money that I suppose now will never be repaid.

Jenny: What was he doing walking in the woods?

Vincent: No one is sure. The only thing known for sure is that he was wearing a pink nightgown while walking in the woods.

Jenny: So that’s why they called him Pink Floyd.

Vincent: Undoubtedly.

Jenny: Whatever happened to that nutty woman they found walking in the woods last week?

Vincent: The one who claimed to have come from the year 2021 and believed herself to be a female Christ saying if people vaccinated themselves, they were Apostles of her love.

“That’s the one,” Jenny nodded.

“I had her burnt at the stake as a witch,” Vincent answered.

“Burnt at the stake?” Jenny was shocked.

“Yes, there was some old wood I was wanting to get rid of,” Vincent nodded, “so I killed two birds with one stone.”

A pair of large black ravens fell from the sky.

“She was a witch?” Jenny turned pale.

“Yes the demons Moloch, Baal and Baphomet visited her room at the village inn,” Vincent explained, “where they jabbed the innkeeper’s daughter with a needle and she died.”

“Awful,” Jenny shook her head.

“There is much evil in the land,” Vincent noted just as the clock was 5 minutes shy of twelve, “Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand and whosoever shall be found without the soul for getting down must stand and face the hounds of Hell and rot inside a corpse’s shell.”

“There’s a three headed dog out there,” Jenny gasped as she looked out the window.

“That would be Cerberus,” Vincent explained.

Vincent went over to his sitting room book shelf and grabbed a volume of ancient Koine Greek and looked up the words for “Sit” and “Good boy”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 5th
2021.

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Toddy Sween The Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue

August 18, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Aesthetics, Horror, Mystery/horror, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking towards his neighbourhood shopping centre.

As he was crossing the street a fat ugly blimp approached.

“What is it with you blimps?” Pan removed his astral laser machete, “The local news channels, when they aren’t busy scaremongering and bullshitting and changing statistics with regard to the Delta variant, have pointed out that ugly women have been beheaded here the past few weeks and yet you repulsive uglos keep coming back here ruining my day when my eyes are visually assaulted by your fugly appearance. Do you morons enjoy being beheaded or something? Or have you watched so much Ophrah in your couch surfing and refrigerator raiding existence that you have a false sense of self-esteem (which invariably happens to people who have watched too much Oprah) and actually suffer from the delusion that you’re not ugly? Rest assured you are ugly. And quite repulsively ugly at that.”

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

An operative for evil globalists George Soros and Bill Gates stood across the street taking notes in his notebook and pencil sketching and painting a watercolour in his sketchpad of the scene to report back to Soros and Gates about Pan Goatee.

. . .

Toddy Sween the Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue in New York was being visited by Mephistopheles the fallen Archangel.

Sween had sold his soul to Mephistopheles during the pandemic last year after his barber shop like other small businesses (which didn’t have the influence of Wal-Mart or Home Depot) were closed by orders of New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor Bill de Blasio and the Moloch worshipping New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo.

In exchange, Sween slit the throat of every 7th customer of his and dropped him down the hole underneath his barber chair.

The vampiress great great great grandmother of American country singer Lyle Lovett (Lyle didn’t know she was still alive) who owned a meat pie shop next door would use the bodies as ingredients for her meat pies.

Mephistopheles also said he would call upon Toddy Sween to do favours for him whenever he asked.

Sween on this day was given a list by Mephistopheles of people whose throats should be slit.

“These people live all over the world,” Sween noted, “How much time do I have to slit their throats?”.

“24 hours,” Mephistopheles replied.

“24 hours?” Toddy was incredulous, “How am I supposed to get around the world in 24 hours?”.

“The ancient Assyrian/Mesopotamian/Babylonian demon Pazuzu is going to carry you on his back,” Mephistopheles replied.

Mephistopheles whistled.

And the demon Pazuzu appeared.

The demon Pazuzu.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 18th
2021.

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Michelangelo Sees A Coven of Satanists Sacrificing One of Their Own

August 8, 2021 at 10:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“And the light of a candle shall shine no more at all in thee (Mystery Babylon); and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee (Mystery Babylon); for thy (Mystery Babylon’s) merchants were the great men of the earth; for by thy sorceries were all nations deceived.”
-Book of Revelation 18:23, King James Version

“… for your merchants were the great men of the earth; for by your pharmaceuticals were all nations deceived.”
-Book of Revelation 18:23, Contemporary English Translation

After Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. Of E. Parish Church in West London had read the two different translations of Revelation 18:23, he began his sermon,

“Now the Greek word translated sorcery in the King James Version is pharmakeia from which we get our modern English words “pharmacy” and “pharmaceuticals”. Pharmakeia in the Greek can mean “medicine” or “medication” or “magic” (as in witchcraft or sorcery not a stage show). Now as for “the great men of the earth”, great here means “powerful” not necessarily good…”

Renfield whispered to his friend Amadeus, “I wonder if “the great men of the earth” that Saint John foresaw were named George Soros, Bill Gates, Dr. Anthony Fraudci… I mean Fauci…”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises laboratories.

He had just turned off his waterproof reading lamp and fallen asleep.

He then had a dream (or was it a vision?) of a coven of dark robed and red hooded satanists who were performing a satanic ritual ceremony.

The leader of the group was holding a staff bearing the twisting snake symbol of Asclepius the Greco-Roman god of medicine (who was the son of the Olympian god Apollo and the mortal princess Coronis).

The leader’s robe was lifted behind him and another darked robed and red hooded figure was kneeling behind him and kissing his bare buttocks.

At the left hand of the leader was a dark robed and red hooded figure holding an upside down Crucifix.

Actor Tom Cruise who had inadvertently stumbled into Michelangelo’s dream quickly left the dream with eyes wide shut as the ghost of director Stanley Kubrick stood there utterly transfixed and borrowed a line from Marlon Brando, “The horror… the horror…”

The leader spoke, “Tonight is the night one of our own must be sacrificed.”

A large group of dark robed and red hooded figures came up and drew lots from a naked and beautiful priestess of Aphrodite.

As they drew their respective lots, the Michael Jackson song Thriller was played on a record player.

Soon the shortest lot fell on to one.

That figure tripped and fell.

His hood came down revealing New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo.

The leader of the coven dropped his hood revealing one George Soros.

The hooded figure who had been kissing Soros’ backside dropped his hood revealing one Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis).

The figure on Soros’ left who had been holding the upside down Crucifix dropped his hood revealing one Bill Gates.

Others started dropping their hoods and started pointing their fingers at Cuomo.

“You must be sacrificed,” Nancy Pelosi, Dr. Anthony Fauci, New York Sen. Chuck Schumer, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, California Gov. Gavin Newsom, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer and Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam all pointed in unison at Cuomo.

As did numerous others.

One lone figure dropped his hood about 20 seconds after the others, started pointing and spoke (after finally getting the instructions on his ear piece), “You must be sacrificed.”

The figure was one Joe Biden who still had his dead German shepherd dog Champ clinging to his leg.

Biden sneezed.

He then stopped pointing and stopped saying “You must be sacrificed” in order to pick up all his boogies off the floor and eat them.

“You must be sacrificed,” the rest continued pointing at Cuomo and speaking in unison.

“Throw him under the bus,” Soros commanded.

The black robed figures picked up Cuomo and threw him under an approaching bus driven by a ferocious looking demon and who had 665 other ferocious looking demons as bus passengers.

And that was the end of New York State’s baby killing and elderly person killing and sexually assaulting governor.

Michelangelo woke up and reached for a peanut butter cookie.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 8th
2021.

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New York’s Andrew Cuomo and Bill de Blasio Are Apostles of The Antichrist

August 3, 2021 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Tuesday night podcast.

Like most of Renfield’s podcasts (which upset woke zombie airheads who can’t stand the music scene in Kelowna, British Columbia and can’t stand visiting the Jack The Ripper Museum in London), he was once again exposing the evils of Covid Neo-Communism.

Said Renfield,

“Let me talk about a British writer most of you have probably never heard of named Stanley Johnson. In 1982, Mr. Johnson had a book published called The Marburg Virus. The book was republished in 2015 under the name The Virus. The plot of the book is about a virus that’s released on the world from a lab. The really interesting bit is that a vaccine (developed by Big Pharma in cahoots with a population control freak billionaire) is then given to the world’s population and ends up killing more people than the original virus itself.
Now you might be inclined to think that the writer of this piece of fiction (?) Mr. Stanley Johnson probably thinks that bumping off most of the world’s population is wrong.
However you’d be wrong.
For this writer Stanley Johnson had a non-fiction book published back in 1973 called The Population Problem in which he said that probably the biggest problem the world will face in the 21st Century is the population problem. He said that unless steps are taken “now” (meaning 1973) to reduce the world’s population, more radical steps might have to be taken in the “third decade of the 21st Century” to reduce the world’s population (by the way, the third decade of the 21st Century began in 2020).
What might those more radical steps be?
Possibly reducing the world’s population by vaccine in response to a virus released from a lab as happens in Stanley Johnson’s book The Virus?
And out of respect for the noted Edmonton, Alberta, Canada sports broadcaster Bryan Hall, I’m not going to talk about the fact that this writer Stanley Johnson is the father of Boris Johnson the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. No, I’m not going to mention that.”

Renfield then moves on to his next subject.

“For this segment,” Renfield explained, “I’m going to ask my friend Amadeus Emanon a question which, unlike Hillary Clinton during the 2016 U.S. Presidential debates, he doesn’t know the answer to ahead of time.”

Amadeus appears on the right hand side of the screen next to Renfield.

Renfield asks Amadeus, “Now Amadeus, it is spiked proteins in the mRNA “vaccine” that is supposed to help you ward off the spiked proteins from the Corona virus. How many spike protein particles would you say is in a single dose injection of mRNA vaccine?”.

“I have no idea,” Amadeus replied.

“Take a guess,” said Renfield.

“Um…. 10,000?” Amadeus replied.

“Higher,” Renfield hinted, “much higher.”

“100,000?” Amadeus guessed again.

“Higher,” said Renfield.

“500,000,” Amadeus guessed.

“Higher,” Renfield encouraged him.

“1 million?” Amadeus asked.

“Higher,” Renfield began drumming his fingertips on the table.

“10 million?” Amadeus was getting exacerbated.

“Try again,” Renfield smiled.

“100 million,” Amadeus said.

“Nope,” Renfield shook his head.

“I give up,” Amadeus threw up his hands.

“There are 40 trillion mRNA spike protein particles per injection whch spread throughout the entire body,” Renfield read the figure aloud.

“40 trillion?” Amadeus was shocked, “That’s a Hell of a lot.”

“Indeed,” Renfield nodded, “With emphasis on the word Hell.”

. . .

For the third and final segment of his podcast, Renfield noted that New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was thinking of banning all unvaccinated people from all public places and events in New York state.

He then mentioned how New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor and stalwart Apostle of The Antichrist Bill de Blasio had announced a proof of vaccine mandate for all indoor public places and activities beginning next month in the Big Apple New York City.

A drawing of a worm inside an apple was then shown on the screen behind Renfield.

The worm in the apple in the drawing had Bill de Blasio’s face on it.

An image of a leatherbound volume of Edgar Allan Poe’s poem The Conqueror Worm is then shown on the screen behind Renfield.

Then a video is shown of New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist asshole Mayor and stalwart Apostle of The Antichrist Bill de Blasio, “We are offering you the key to NYC and all its wonders. The key is to be vaccinated. If you are unvaccinated, you will not get the key to NYC and its wonders.”

Then a scene is shown from the 1942 Jacques Tourneur film The Cat People starring Simone Simon.

The scene shows actor Tom Conway’s character of psychiatrist Dr. Louis Judd pointing his walking stick at the key to the panther cage inside the zoo and saying, “The key.”

Judd repeats the line again, “The key.”

As animated cartoon black panthers stalk behind him.

Simone Simon’s character of Irena Dubrovna then turns into a panther, attacks Dr. Judd and kills him.

A video is then shown of Dr. Anthony Fauci being interviewed by Global News Canada’s Communist asshole U.S. correspondent Jackson Proskow.

In answer to a nauseating and sycophantic ass kissing question posed by Jackson Proskow, Dr. Fauci said, “We are going to have to start mandating that people be vaccinated. And we’ll start down at the municipal local level.”

Renfield then announced, “And so now, 40 years later, ladies and gentlemen, we now know what the New Age Movement slogan of the 1980s THINK GLOBALLY, ACT LOCALLY means. The Mark of the Beast system prophesied in the Apocalypse of Saint John Book of Revelation Chapter 13 “By which no one might buy or sell save he that had the mark” would begin at the local level and then spread globally.”

Renfield finished his podcast by publicly calling for the assassinations of Andrew Cuomo, Bill de Blasio and Dr. Anthony Fauci.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 3rd
2021.

Simone Simon in the 1942 Jacques Tourneur film The Cat People

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100 More Days Till Halloween…

July 23, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“This is Jack Anderson at Terror 97 FM in London- the radio station that keeps you in stitches – a la style of Dr. Victor Frankenstein’s creation. This just in from Canada… Earlier today genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee slew two more ugly women in a Dollarama store in Calgary. And now here’s Air Supply singing their coming Halloween hit Two Less Ugly People In The World…”

. . .

There was a state of excitement prevailing in the Vatican among the city state’s wide assortment of Jesuit priests for word had come to pass that the demon Baphomet was going to address them at A Come As You Are convention in the Vatican Sauna Steam Bath House named Hyacinth Sizzles Apollo’s Swizzle Stick.

Meanwhile in the Papal Apartments, Pope Francis was consulting with one of his leading theological advisors Walter Cardinal Kasper.

“Your Unholiness,” Kasper addressed Bergoglio by his most appropriate title, “a group of flying saucer UFOs containing 6.66 feet tall T-Rex ET reptilians have landed within the walls of the Vatican.”

“What for?” Francis asked as he licked a Spartan Greek popsicle.

“We’re not sure,” Kasper answered.

. . .

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had been hiding inside a tomb in London’s Highgate Cemetery ever since British MP Renfield R. Renfield publicly called for the 10 Downing Street occupant’s assassination this past Wednesday.

The colourful and controversial MP had issued the assassination call after the Zombie Nosferatu Tory Prime Minister (whose forehead had been etched with the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST in red felt ink) announced this past Wednesdy that he intended to introduce a vaccine passport in Britain next month.

Bishop Sean Manchester the traditionalist Old Catholic Church Bishop of Glastonbury and a leading exorcist was walking around the cemetery amidst reports that a vampire was once again haunting the cemetery for the first time in 51 years.

As Johnson sat inside the tomb with sweat on his forehead, the ghost of Karl Marx (looking well roasted) appeared alongside him and asked him, “How’s it going?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish Leprechaun was in Highgate Cemetery eating cold mutton sandwiches and drinking Guinness beer.

He was listening to Terror 97 FM London on his old 1970s style transistor radio.

The radio was playing a commercial and a Halloween holiday jingle, “100 more days till Halloween… Silver Shamrock.”

A hand holding a silver shamrock suddenly appeared out of the ground near the old gravestone where Yaldabaoth was having his evening picnic totally freaking the wee leprechaun out.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 23rd
2021.

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Cthulhu In The Tiber

July 12, 2021 at 10:41 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Pope Francis, still recovering in Rome’s Agostino Gemelli Hospital, was being visited by one of his papal aides Father Thomas Oliver Wardenclyffe.

“Distressing news,” Father Wardenclyffe began, “Cthulhu has been spotted swimming in the Tiber River through Rome.”

“Who’s Cthulhu?” Francis asked.

“He’s a Great Old One as far as cosmic entities go,” Father Wardenclyffe explained, “He has several titles The High Priest of the Great Old Ones, The Great Dreamer and also The Sleeper of R’lyeh. He’s a giant who looks like a combination of a green octopus, a dragon and a gargantuan caricature of the human form.”

“Is he one of the first Transhumans visualized by Klaus Schwab and the World Economic Forum?” Francis asked.

“We’re not sure,” Father Wardenclyffe shrugged.

Pope Francis’ doctor raised an eyebrow, “I thought Cthulhu was a fictional creature created by American horror writer H.P. Lovecraft who first appeared in the short story The Call of Cthulhu published by the American pulp magazine Weird Tales in 1928?”.

“Somebody better tell that to Cthulhu,” Father Wardenclyffe pointed out the window.

. . .

“Has anybody ever told you that you’re loaded with spiked protein antibodies to the Covid-19 virus?” A doctor (who had just performed a Covid-19 test on the cosmic entity) asked The Great Old One on the banks of the Tiber River.

“No, you’re the first,” Cthulhu answered before eating the doctor.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 12th
2021.

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Lambda and The Llama On Lammas Night

July 10, 2021 at 10:32 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol had received a video via courier.

The video showed a ritual that was apparently performed on Lammas Night (the evening of August 1st) in the year 2020.

The anonymous sender of the video in a typewritten note said that the ritual was the source of the lambda variant of the Covid-19 virus that was currently being yacked about by Neo-Bolshevik Communist health “experts” all over the globe.

Whitstable watched the video.

The video showed the half-male half-female half-human half-goat transgendered transpecies demon Baphomet sodomizing a llama in the rearend along the banks of the Amazon River in Peru’s Andes mountains while the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama sat and watched.

After sodomizing the llama, Baphomet then sneezed all over it.

When it was totally covered in Baphomet boogies, Pachamama buried the llama alive.

And then set fire to the surrounding ground.

A doctor from WHO (the World Health Organization) wearing a button that said I TAKE MY ORDERS FROM XI JINPING then sprayed the smoke in the direction of a nearby indigenous village where it was inhaled by the inhabitants.

A few weeks later the first recorded instances of the lambda variant of the Covid-19 virus showed up in Peru.

At around the same time Pope Francis and Sir Elton John were singing together via Zoom conference call that old Katja Ebstein song The Poor Boy Dancer From Peru.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 10th
2021.

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