Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

March 26, 2020 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having a conversation with British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Both men were 6 meters away from one another so they wouldn’t be shot by killer drones recently commandeered by WHO (the World Health Organization) for those who violated the world body’s social distancing rules.

Athelstan was also wearing a face mask.

Although whether this was because he feared getting the Coronavirus or because he had just cleaned out the kitty litter box belonging to Nefertiti Galore (the vampire Set’s fiercely protective house cat) is a matter for speculation.

“So, Mr. Renfield,” Athelstan coughed through his face mask, “I hear that Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam issued an Executive Order this past Monday making it a criminal offense to hold a Church service with more than 10 people present. If found guilty, people could be imprisoned for 12 months and/or fined $2,500.”

“I imagine,” Renfield lit his pipe, “that the Baal and Baphomet worshipping Marxist despot Ralph Northam was positively ejaculating in ecstasy and orgasm at being able to sign such an Executive Order. I don’t imagine he’ll ever bother rescinding it even when the pandemic is over.”

“Probably not, sir,” Athelstan dusted off a portrait painting of the late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher dressed in a medieval Iron Maiden torture chamber item suit, “Did you hear that Pope Francis’ personally designated papal successor Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle is saying let’s overcome the Coronavirus with a pandemic of love?”.

“Well,” Renfield sipped his pipe, “Isn’t that jackass just the epitome of romance?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was flying a magic shamrock flying carpet from his rented farmhouse in Vermont to New York City.

Yaldabaoth had recently left Ireland after that country had closed all its pubs (As Yaldabaoth remarked at the time, “You know a world situation is serious when it forces Ireland to close all its pubs.”)

He had gone to Vermont hoping that the pubs would be open.

Many of them were closed but lucky for Yaldabaoth, there were plenty of Vermont country gentlemen who made their own moonshine.

Yaldabaoth rented his Vermont farmstead from another Irish leprechaun The Fantastic Flanigan.

The Fantastic Flanigan had the honour of being the world’s shortest UFC fighter.

He also had the honour of being the world’s only always defeated UFC fighter.

Generally all the other UFC fighters used the Fantastic Flanigan as practice for the day the old medieval sport of dwarf tossing was once again brought back into the world.

It so happened that the Fantastic Flanigan owned a flying carpet (made from magic shamrocks) so he had left it behind in the barn for Yaldabaoth to use.

Flanigan was currently spending his social isolation time at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

As Yaldabaoth approached New York City, he was shocked to see the Big Apple surrounded by an army of Dullahans (A Dullahan was a black horse riding headless horseman of death).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 26th
2020

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Reaper of Death

March 18, 2020 at 11:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Reaper of Death

As the sexual predator Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein headed off to the Wende Correctional Facility near Buffalo New York where shortly the cleft between his buttocks could serve as a stand-in for the Grand Canyon in a travel video shot by an inmate wanting to make travel videos but couldn’t because he was in prison, the homosexual predatory Communist former Cardinal Theodore McCarrick (who sexually assaulted numerous young seminarians over the years) was happily walking down a Florida beach looking for handsome young male lifeguards who could help him relieve his depression and anxiety in the way he enjoyed most.

But there weren’t many people on the beach today as most were social distancing.

“What a pain in the ass a pandemic can be at times,” mused McCarrick.

As Cardinal, the Communist infiltrator into the Catholic Church had been the one to negotiate the Vatican-China Treaty between the Vatican and the Communist government in Beijing by which the underground Catholic Church in China had been sold out to the so-called Chinese Catholic Patriotic Association (run by Bishops appointed by Beijing and loyal to the current Chinese Communist deity Xi Jinping and not to Jesus Christ).

Earlier this month, Pope Francis had taken a break from embracing apostasy, spouting heresy and worshipping Pachamama idols to make a video in which he told Chinese Catholics to get in line and follow the Communist Chinese run Catholic Church.

As McCarrick walked along the beach, he encountered an eight foot tall bat (the nocturnal mammal and not what’s used in the sport of baseball) that had the body of a giant nocturnal mammalian bat but the head of a Thanatotheristes (which translates to Reaper of Death in Greek) a new species of tyrannosaurus that had recently been discovered in the Western Canadian province of Alberta.

McCarrick of course was unaware that it was the head of a Thanatotheristes on the body of a bat.

“What the Hell are you?” McCarrick asked.

“I’m the demon of the Covid-19 Coronavirus,” the strange looking hybrid entity replied.

“But I don’t believe in demons,” McCarrick answered.

He hoped he wasn’t getting the Coronavirus.

It might put a damper on his efforts to find handsome young men to serve as his personal antidepressants.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 18th
2020

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Reblog of Ghost Ship: The Flying Dutchman Sails On and On

March 5, 2020 at 10:25 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

A supernatural narrative poem and vampire novel chapter I wrote over a year and 3 months ago:

Dracul Van Helsing

On a moonlit night the sky’s spotlight
casts its rays down on tonight’s performer
a sailing ship rising out of the mist
in a globe theatre where sea and sky do meet
From underneath the water Poseidon’s hand
seems to rise from below the depths
lifting the old Dutchman like a pearl of great price
as an offering and a gift to Diana’s lantern in the night sky

Oh ship of mighty oak and sturdy deck and towering masts
what a price thou hast paid
for having for a master one Captain Hendrick Van der Decken
He who would make league and sup with the Devil
to have the fastest ship that would sail to the East Indies and back

And so there at the Cape of Good Hope
ship, master and crew would lose all hope
as Captain Hendrick stood on deck at the wheel
and cursed the wind…

View original post 673 more words

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Inside Magical Mystery Tour

February 23, 2020 at 11:36 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic romance, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Inside Magical Mystery Tour 

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was inside his greenhouse.

He was staring at the late Victorian/early Edwardian era antique mirror that stood in the place where his pot smoking and cannabis exhaling desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever had once stood.

A mirror that reflected neither Justin’s image nor the area of the greenhouse around him.

For within its glass was the image of a closed rare and used book store at the intersection of a dark alley and desolate London street at night.

“Where’s my pot smoking cactus plant?” Justin asked, “I thought I was getting a pot smoking cactus plant called Magical Mystery Tour?”.

“Enter the mirror, stupid,” a voice from the bookshop inside the mirror spoke.

“Did you just tell me to enter the mirror?” Justin asked.

“Brilliant deduction,” the voice answered.

Justin walked into the mirror and found himself standing at the corner of desolate street and dark alley in London.

The only thing within his sight was the closed used book store.

Mist which smelled a lot like pot smoke filled the dark London street.

He decided to try to open the door of the closed book store that was called Tezcatlipoca’s Antiquarium and Rare Books.

Sure enough the door opened and a bell above the door rang indicating a customer was entering the shop.

The old shop owner who was a skeleton covered in cob webs looked up from the cob web and dust covered book he was reading called The Brothers Grimm Grimoire.

He got up to greet Justin and his skull fell off.

Whereupon the rest of his bones fell apart as well.

A volume called Old Yale University Alumni fell off one of the book shelves and landed on top of the skull and bones.

Justin walked to the back of the bookstore where he saw a pot of coffee brewing.

The pot of coffee was next to an antique mirror (much like the one in Justin’s greenhouse) except this mirror reflected the book shelves round about as well as Justin’s own image.

A bony finger emerged from inside the mirror and pointed at the coffee pot and an old ceramic cup bearing the image of what looked to be an old Aztec deity.

“Take and drink,” a voice inside the mirror commanded.

Justin poured himself a cup of coffee.

He added cream that he poured from a small statue of the Egyptian cow goddess Hathor.

He added sugar from packets of sugar marked Uncle Ernie’s Sugar Free Sugar that had the inscription at the back Aleister Crowley approved.

He used a skull insignia emblazoned spoon to stir the concoction.

He drank.

Justin then looked at the mirror and saw this image:

Countess Draculina in front of a castle on the West Coast of Scotland

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 23rd
2020.

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Auschwitz: Where Death and Hate Embraced

January 27, 2020 at 11:28 pm (History, Horror, News, Poetry) (, , )

Auschwitz: Where Death and Hate Embraced

The outmost darkness lay behind 
gates that said Work makes you free
Orwellian newspeak before Orwell
even coined the term 
It was all a lie, a battle cry 
for ancient gods craving blood 
A race of übermensch 
that loved the stench 
of the flesh burning in fires 
in concrete pyres 
that reached the sky 

Skies were always gray here 
even when the sun shone up above
Clouds never dropped rain
But the ground soaked blood 
And the bones were food 
for a ravenous Fatherland 
that worshipped death 

Innocence was lost 
under hearts of frost 
Covered by coats of black 
and skull and bone lapels 
in a place under Hell’s dark spells
Marks the spot where pure Evil dwells 

Over a million lives were lost 
where Death always made a winning coin toss 
Off Death’s dark trains, then separate
Some to work, many more to die 
Mark the spot where angels cry 
And blackened smoke fills the sky

This was Hell 
Evil’s hotel 
Where men and women watched 
others die 
While smiling and laughing under Fuhrer’s eye

Some say that was in the past
where Satan’s furnaces had a blast
but when History is forgot
Death’s sinister X marks the spot 

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday January 27th
2020
The 75th Anniversary 
of the liberation of Auschwitz 
in Oswiecim Poland

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Morgana and The Horns of Cernunnos

December 29, 2019 at 11:21 pm (Folklore, Horror, International Intrigue, Mythology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Morgana and The Horns of Cernunnos 

The Welsh vampiress Morgana was very good friends with Cernunnos the horned stag god of the Celts.

For sport, Cernunnos used to take his bow and arrow and hunt those humans who hunted deer for sport.

In the 13th Century in England, the most notorious stag and deer hunter of them all was Lord James Hamish Belfor of the appropriately named Hellreach Castle.

Cernunnos vowed to put an end to this Lord James Hamish Belfor of Hellreach once and for all.

As Lord Belfor was sitting with his fellow hunters celebrating the day’s hunt in The Cyclops Arms Pub, a monk who was a mystic spoke to him, “Did you know that Cernunnos is now hunting for you, oh Lord Belfor of Hellreach?”.

“Who’s Cernunnos?” Asked one of Lord Belfor’s friends who wasn’t very bright (a number of Canadian Prime Ministers in the far distant future would be descended from this questioner’s loins).

“He’s the horned stag god of the Celts, you ninny,” Lord Belfor of Hellreach laughed as he downed yet another pint of cider.

The monk departed the inn just as the Welsh vampiress Morgana entered.

“You know what I’m going to do?” Lord Belfor boasted to his friends, “I’m going to hunt this Cernunnos myself and I swear to the infernal gods below that I shall have this deity’s stag horns hanging on my own castle wall.”

“You fool,” Morgana laughed at him, “You cannot get the horns belonging to a god. Only someone who gives their soul to a devil can do that.”

The lovely vampiress turned and walked out the pub door.

“Then that is what I shall do,” Lord Belfor of Hellreach laughed.

The following night, Lord Belfor summoned Mephistopheles and sold his soul to him in exchange for coming into possession of the horns of Cernunnos.

And so the horns of Cernunnos ended up on the wall of Lord James Hamish Belfor of Hellreach.

The day after that, Lord Belfor was gored to death by a stag.

And so Mephistopheles did not have to wait long to collect his debt.

Of course Cernunnos being a god, his horns grew back.

But someday he vowed to get back his old horns currently on the wall of the Belfor family’s Hellreach Castle.

. . .

During the 1890s, Lord James Hamish Belfor the 13th was in a position to become Prime Minister of Britain.

In fact, he was the favourite of Germany’s Kaiser Wilhelm II to become Prime Minister of Britain as the notorious and traitorous lord would be the Kaiser’s puppet.

One fateful day, Lord Belfor 13th of Hellreach would slay 13 stags in a forest not far from Hellreach Castle.

He went home to celebrate.

He also expected to be summoned shortly by Queen Victoria to form a government.

That night, he paid a visit to the nearby Cyclops Arms Pub to boast of his success with the members of the Saint Hubertus Hunting Lodge.

When he returned home, he discovered one light was already on in the castle’s grand hall as he walked through the door:


Lights shone on the horns of Cernunnos as the Welsh vampiress Morgana stood underneath.

“What the Hell are you doing here?” Lord Belfor angrily asked Morgana.

Standing on the central staircase of the grand hall was the Celtic stag god Cernunnos who raised his crossbow and fired a poisoned arrow at Lord James Hamish Belfor the 13th.

The dreadful Lord died instantly.

Instead of being summoned by Her Majesty Queen Victoria to form a government, Lord Belfor’s body was measured for a casket in an undertaker’s shop and his soul was carried off to Tartarus by Mephistopheles.

And Cernunnos joined his old horns together with his new ones.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday December 29th
2019.

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Magical Mystery Tour

December 18, 2019 at 11:22 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Magical Mystery Tour

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was putting the final touches on the genetically created pot smoking desert cactus plant that he was designing for Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Dr. Rocher had designed a previous genetically created pot smoking desert cactus plant for Canada’s Prime Minister that Justin had named Strawberry Fields Forever.

However that plant was cactusnapped by Chinese Ministry of State Security agents in retaliation for Canada’s arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou.

Strawberry Fields Forever was held in a re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of western China where he was tortured daily.

The plant was recently rescued by time travellers before it could be murdered on Xi Jinping’s orders.

It was now being held for safekeeping on the Norwegian island of Spitsbergen.

So a new pot smoking desert cactus plant was in the works for Canada’s Prime Minister.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher had tentatively named the new plant Magical Mystery Tour following in the tradition of Beatles titles suggested by the name of the original plant Strawberry Fields Forever.

However Dr. Rocher did not really have much to work with.

He had a slice of an individual cactus plant that was called Sutcac and was regarded as sacred by the Hopi peoples of Arizona.

However the slice (taken by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s new head of Canadian national security Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman the sheriff of the mystical pot smoking hippy commune village of Calypso’s Bosom on British Columbia’s Sechelt Peninsula) wasn’t much to work with.

So Dr. Cadbury Rocher had asked an acquaintance of his the University of London botanist Dr. Henry Glendon to provide him with slices of his own unique plant collection to help in the creation of the Magical Mystery Tour.

Dr. Henry Glendon was currently walking towards his conservatory to get slices of some of his own cactus plants.

While walking towards his conservatory, the disembodied head of a Jesuit priest with a hook nose appeared to him.

The head of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin emitted hellish flames and in the Jesuit’s eyes burned mesmerizing Hell fire.

Dr. Henry Glendon was instantly hypnotized by the Jesuit’s eyes.

A diabolical voice spoke through the Jesuit’s lips.

When Dr. Henry Glendon (under the priestly head’s hypnotic influence) went to his conservatory, rather than select slices of cactus plants, he selected slices from the following varieties:

1) The Mariphasa plant – a plant that Dr. Henry Glendon’s great uncle Dr. Wilfred Glendon had discovered in Tibet 

2) A Venus fly trap

3) Pachamama’s Flower – A flower from the Andes Mountains of Peru that was sacred to the ancient Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama

Dr. Henry Glendon then drove to the Set Enterprises’ laboratory with the plant specimen slices to give to Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The plant would definitely be a Magical Mystery Tour indeed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 18th
2019.

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Tsucol

November 20, 2019 at 11:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, )

Tsucol 

Tsucol was the alien’s name.

Kept in a tank at Nevada’s mysterious Area 51, it slept.

It had been sleeping since it was found at the top of a mesa in Arizona back in 1973. 

It slept and was watched by its U.S. Air Force captors. 

Now it had awakened.

And the giant green winged insect looking creature spit out a silver tongue melting the tank in which it slept.

It then hopped.

Hopped in the manner of a frog.

And hopped with such power, it was gone far away.

In a Hopi village in Arizona, a Hopi elder awakened from his sleep.

“What is it, grandfather?” His granddaughter asked when he came out of his bedroom and sat in the living room.

“Tsucol has awakened,” the elder replied.

“Tsucol?” His granddaughter looked surprised, “But I thought that was just a myth.”

“Tsucol is very much real,” the elder said in hushed tones, “it had slept on a mesa not far from here for centuries. Then back in 1973, it was found by the U.S. Geological Survey and Tsucol’s sleeping body was taken away by the U.S. Air Force to its installation at Area 51.”

“And you saw a vision that it has awakened, Grandfather?” The girl asked.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“I wonder what would have caused it to awaken,” the girl looked out the window and suddenly noticed that what had been a perfectly clear night had clouded over with huge menacingly dark clouds.

“At a meeting of the Council this past Sunday, another elder told me that some stranger had cut off a slice of the sacred cactus Sutcac last Friday,” her grandfather answered, “and it reminded me of something my own grandfather once said to me, that it was Sutcac intact that prevented Tsucol from awakening. I had never mentioned that story to the rest of the council because it never occurred to me that someone would be so stupid as to cut off a slice of a cactus. I should have realized that in the times we are living in, now is the time.”

A rare lightning bolt struck the ground of the Arizona desert.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 20th
2019.

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The Disembodied Head At CERN

November 16, 2019 at 11:50 pm (Horror, Science-Fiction, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

The Disembodied Head At CERN

Inside the CERN Large Hadron collider, scientists watched in horror as the disembodied head of a silver haired Jesuit priest with a hook nose floated in mid-air on their screens (showing the tunnel) in their computer room.

The head which was surrounded by roaring flames suddenly opened its mouth and an enormous black raven flew out of the mouth and attacked one of the scientists pecking out both of the scientist’s eyes.

“Well, I guess you won’t have to worry about keeping your appointment with your optometrist next week,” the scientist (next to the screaming individual with no eyes) remarked.

The head opened its mouth again and a giant black cat emerged and ripped the heart out of the scientist who made the remark about the appointment.

The Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl appeared and ate the heart.

“Does this mean we’ve finally been successful at opening the door to another dimension?” A scientist (who had not yet been attacked by objects jumping out of the disembodied head’s mouth) commented.

The disembodied priest’s head once more opened its mouth and a fierce looking red dragon flew out.

The dragon turned into a beautiful exotic looking woman who ate the other dimension seeking scientist with her teeth.

The 4th (and sole remaining) scientist in the room thought he better get to Hell out of there.

Before he did so, he took some photos of the disembodied priest’s head with his smart phone.

He left the room locking it behind him.

The room burst into flames with a fiery breath from the disembodied Jesuit priest’s mouth.

Later at home, the last survivor of the evening shift quartet at that particular lab at CERN used the facial recognition app on his computer to try to identify who the disembodied head of the silver haired Jesuit priest with the hook nose belonged to.

He discovered the disembodied head belonged to Pierre Teilhard de Chardin a French Jesuit priest and paleontologist noted for being involved in discovering Piltdown Man (later acknowledged as an evolutionary hoax) and Peking Man (whose bones became lost during World War II and quite conveniently after other evolutionary scientists besides Teilhard and his associates expressed interest in examining them).

Teilhard was also responsible for formulating the ideas of the Omega Point and Noosphere.

The Jesuit priest died on Easter Sunday 1955 in New York City.

Teilhard’s theological teachings were often cited by Pope Francis in his 2015 encyclical Laudato si.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Saturday November 16th
2019.

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Quetzalcoatl In The Amazon Rainforest

October 7, 2019 at 10:51 pm (Horror, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Quetzalcoatl In The Amazon Rainforest 

London based private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley continued their trek through the Amazon rainforest to see who was responsible for starting the fires there this past summer.

“I miss a pint of good English brown ale at the moment,” said Agathor Christie.

“I miss a nice steaming plate of Welsh rarebit,” answered Magog Rhys Petley.

“I miss all the hallucinogenic plants to be found in my part of the Amazon,” stated their indigenous guide in his native language.

They stumbled upon a clearing in the jungle.

A flying reptile dinosaur flew over them.

“Wow,” said an astonished Agathor Christie, “Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was right when he wrote his novel The Lost World about there being a lost world of dinosaurs to be found somewhere in the Amazon Rainforest.”

“Now Canadian blogger Dracul Van Helsing will know where to come to eat roast pterodactyl,” noted Magog Rhys Petley who had read the blogger’s Sunshine Blogger award post on one of those rare days when wireless internet was actually working in the Amazon Rainforest.

“That’s not a pterodactyl,” Agathor Christie remarked smugly, “That particular type of pterosaur that just just flew over us and unleashed his droppings on our guide… I’d wager to say that what he’s currently saying in his language are a whole bunch of expletives… that pterosaur is called a Quetzalcoatlus.”

“Well aren’t you the big know it all,” Magog spoke in sarcastic fashion.

“It comes from taking Paleontology as my Science option in University,” Agathor smiled.

Suddenly loud piercing screams came from another part of the clearing.

The trio looked in the direction of the screams and noticed a man dressed in ceremonial robes ripping the hearts out of people with an obsidian knife after they were placed on an altar.

A fierce looking creature then grabbed the hearts and ate them after they were ripped out of the sacrificial victims’ chests.

“What in the name of God is that?” Magog pointed at the fierce looking creature.

“That is the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl,” Agathor Christie once again smiled smugly.

“And how do you know that, all knowing one?” Magog was thinking of punching out his partner’s clock.

“I recognize him from illustrations and drawings,” Agathor continued to smile, “I took Mesoamerican Religions as my Religious Studies option back in University.”

They watched as the priest continued to rip out still beating hearts and gave them to Quetzalcoatl to eat.

“I wonder what Quetzalcoatl is doing in Brazil when he’s supposed to be in Mexico,” Agathor Christie scratched his head.

“Perhaps he downloaded the latest upgraded version of GPS app to his laptop and got hopelessly lost as a result,” Magog suggested.

The priest doing the sacrificing had a short wave radio next to the sacrificial altar on which this song was being played,

Bonnie Tyler singing, 

“Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 7th
2019.

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