Alan Dershowitz and Sobek

May 25, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Science, Science-Fiction, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Alan Dershowitz and Sobek

Lawyer Alan Dershowitz was conducting a thought experiment.

He was imagining himself a defence lawyer at the Old Bailey in London in 1888, that Jack the Ripper had been caught and arrested and he Dershowitz had been asked to defend the Ripper.

He was playing in his mind his opening address to the jury at the start of the Ripper’s trial, “Members of the jury, I’d like to say a few words about my client who’s the noblest Briton of them all…”

His thought experiment was interrupted by a knock at the door.

He opened it and standing there was the Egyptian crocodile god Sobek.

Dershowitz had met Sobek on a few occasions before in the presence of a presumably late former client of his Jeffrey Epstein.

Epstein used to hang out with Sobek quite often that is when the pervert pedophile financier wasn’t busy hanging out with the likes of Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Donald Trump and Prince Andrew.

“Sobek,” Dershowitz smiled, “I haven’t seen you since Jeffrey allegedly hung himself in prison after he had knocked himself out and then tied a noose around his neck while still unconscious.”

“Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end,” Sobek quoted old Mary Hopkin lyrics to the attorney.

“What brings you here?” Dershowitz waved the crocodile over to an arm chair in his living room.

“I’d like to thank you for giving those Christians a hard time who think that a mandatory vaccine could be the Mark of the Beast system prophesied in the Book of Revelation Chapter 13,” Sobek sat down and helped himself to some pretzels from an appetizer dish on the coffee table.

“It was no problem,” Dershowitz lit himself a cigar and offered one to the crocodile god which Sobek accepted, “I called their bluff by saying “We all know that the Devil can cite Scripture to his purposes.” And then I proceeded to bolster my own argument by doing just that. Citing an obscure passage in the Book of Leviticus (Chapters 12 and 13 to be precise) which nobody bothers to read anymore save the occasional old fashioned Calvinist and occasional old fashioned Presbyterian who are totally obsessed with blood and gore and all manner of obscure long winded regulations. Heck even most religious Jews don’t bother reading it anymore since we no longer do living animal sacrifices in the contemporary Israelite religion. I myself am a secular inclined Jew. I suppose if I were religious, I might belong to the Synagogue of Satan that Christ and Saint John the Apostle warned about.”

“Glad to hear it,” Sobek blew smoke rings in the shape of Nile River bulrushes.

“Why are you so into mandatory vaccines?” Dershowitz asked.

“Well our friend Jeffrey was into mandatory vaccines,” Sobek smiled showing his perfectly snow white teeth.

“That I didn’t know,” Dershowitz poured a brandy and offered one to Sobek which the crocodile god accepted, “what type of vaccine was he into developing?”.

“It could be used for anything actually,” Sobek sipped his brandy, “He was intending to use administering the vaccine as a cover for something else.”

“And what would that be?” Dershowitz inquired.

“To change people’s DNA,” Sobek answered.

“I knew Jeffrey was obsessed with the idea of creating a master race,” Dershowitz moved a chess piece on a board next to him, “My cousin Anna’s best friend Rachel’s rabbi Goldbloom didn’t approve because it reeked of the Nazis Heinrich Himmler and Adolf Eichmann and their work.”

“Jeffrey was investigating cases where alleged UFO abductees were supposedly given alien implants aboard the UFOs they were taken,” Sobek explained.

Dershowitz looked on in horror as an invisible opponent captured his Queen.

He then looked over at Sobek.

“That I didn’t know,” Dershowitz swallowed his cigar and had to wash it down with brandy, “Jeffrey was always full of surprises.”

“Some doctors did find strange implants in the bodies of a few alleged UFO abductees,” Sobek pointed out, “And what these implants had in common was they were slowing changing the DNA of the abductees.”

“To what?” Dershowitz asked.

“Jeffrey wasn’t sure,” Sobek shrugged, “But it was something not human. His research came to an abrupt end when he was arrested and later suicided in prison.”

“I take it Jeffrey was wanting to administer these DNA changing implants to people,” Dershowitz moved a white bishop on the board.

“He was,” Sobek nodded, “But he realized most people, like the abductees aboard the alien craft, would probably object to having these implants. So he thought they could be administered as an extra bonus. Like say with a mandatory vaccine.”

“I wonder if Jeffrey ever discussed his plans with Bill Gates,” Dershowitz played with his white bishop and a black king’s knight as he looked over at the TV screen and it was showing some old news footage of Bill Gates meeting Pope Francis a few years back.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 25th
2020.

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Dorian Gray and The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka

May 19, 2020 at 10:57 pm (Art, Arts, Gothic, Gothic romance, Horror, Literature, Mystery, Mystery/horror, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Dorian Gray and The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka

The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka was walking through the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

It was a private visit as the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery still hadn’t been granted permission by the UK government to publicly open during lockdown.

As Dashwood Forrest hurried back to his office because his office phone was ringing, the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka continued to walk down the halls of the gallery.

She entered a room marked PRIVATE as Forrest told her to treat the gallery as if it were her own home.

She noticed nothing in the room except for a pair of purple velvet curtains.

She opened the curtains and behind them were two portrait oil paintings. 

One was a portrait of a young man.

And the other was a portrait of a teddy bear.

She recognized the young man in the portrait.

His name was Dorian Gray.

For the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka was an immortal.

In the summer of 1878, she had ridden a rare creature- a white buffalo- and as a result of that experience she became immortal.

That autumn, she had gone to London, England where she had lived ever since.

Also that autumn, she had met a dashing young man by the name of Dorian Gray.

After a whirlwind tour of sights and spots throughout England with Dorian, Tanaka thought that she was in love.

Dorian had invited her down to the seaside holiday spot of Brighton with him.

The Lakota Sioux Princess was sure that Dorian was going to ask her to marry him.

Dorian proposes marriage to the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka on the seashore at Brighton.

Tanaka said yes.

Later in Dorian’s hotel room, she went into his bedroom as he was out in the hall chatting to the bell boy.

She was shocked to discover a bunch of female human heads – all of them beautiful (for Dorian Gray did not have the exceptionally high IQ of a Pan Goatee) and perfectly preserved stored in jars of formaldehyde.

“Dorian!” She exclaimed when he walked back into the room, “What are these?”.

Dorian looked shocked and bit his lip, “Er… Um… You know how some people like collecting beautiful butterflies or beautiful seashells or beautiful autumn leaves or beautiful pressed flowers, I… um… like collecting heads of beautiful women.”

“But that’s sick!” Tanaka was shocked.

“But I’ve been invited to the Rothschild’s masked ball dinner party every year for the past 18 years!” Dorian protested, “How can you call someone who’s been invited to the Rothschild masked ball dinner party for that long sick?”.

Tanaka left slamming the door behind her.

“Does this mean the engagement is off?” Dorian called out from the balcony of his hotel room as she entered a horse carriage and the carriage drove away.

Dorian and Tanaka never saw one another again.

Later she heard the body of an unknown old man stabbed in the heart was found in Dorian Gray’s house in London.

Dorian himself was never seen again.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 19th
2020.

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Dark Shadows and Fatal Visions Sensible To Feelings and To Sight

May 5, 2020 at 10:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Dark Shadows and Fatal Visions Sensible To Feelings and To Sight

Corey Johnson the Speaker of the New York City Council was having a wet dream where he was being sodomized by the demon Baphomet.

Waking up with a frenzic smile on his face, he tweeted a denouncement of Rev. Franklin Graham’s Samaritan’s Purse organization saying they should take down their Covid-19 Emergency Field Tent Hospital and get to Hell out of New York State.

Hours later, Johnson had a dream where his eyes were being pecked out by ravens.

Serving demons and participating in abominations always can have its drawbacks.

Johnson was discovering this the hard way as he woke up screaming.

. . .

French President Emmanuel Macron was having a dream where he was staring at Vincent Van Gogh’s painting of a farm field overrun by crows.

Suddenly the crows flew out of the painting and started attacking Macron.

The French President woke up in the arms of a cougar.

. . .

Dr. Cadbury Rocher was in his office at Set Enterprises examining some of the recent data on pandemic dreams- strange dreams that many people were having in this time of the Covid-19 pandemic.

Miranda Singh knocked on his door.

“Dr. Rocher,” Miranda Singh stood some six feet away to keep in line with UK social distancing rules which were constantly changing and being updated every 5 minutes, “there’s some man outside the laboratory premises dressed in Louis XIV era clothing who says his name is Dr. Marmalade Montague and that he’s the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze. He’s standing in front of one of those hot air balloons. Claims he flew across the Channel from France to England in it to avoid being murdered by the Grand Orient Lodge of Paris. He’s seeking employment here at Set Enterprises wishing to work in the company’s Covid-19 Vaccine Development Program.”

“All right,” Dr. Rocher put on his PPE Darth Vader mask and suit, “I’ll see him. What is it about pandemics that seems to bring all the nuts out?”.

. . .

The Egyptian jackal headed god Anubis (son of Set and Nephthys) was being held a prisoner in the catacombs of Paris.

He was being continuously stung by Asian green hornets (who had also recently arrived on North America’s West Coast and who were now decapitating and devouring honeybees and feeding them to their young).

If Anubis hadn’t been immortal, he’d have been dead already.

His captor was a giant 50 foot long snake who had the head of a hawk.

The hawk headed giant snake fed on dogs and cats as it watched Anubis’ torture.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Tuesday May 5th
2020

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Bill Gates and The Hansel and Gretel Eating Witch Sophie Lewis

April 15, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Bill Gates and The Hansel and Gretel Eating Witch Sophie Lewis

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was reading an old AMORC Southern California Rosicrucian Order booklet from the 1960s teaching one how to astral project.

The lobster found himself in an artists’ studio on the Bill Gates estate.

And there was Bill Gates painting an oil painting of Santa Muerte (the Mexican female deity of death who was a post-Cortez conquest representation of Mictecacihuatl – literally “Lady of the Dead” in Nahuatl the language of the Aztecs- who was the Aztec goddess of death) holding hands with Pachamama the Inca earth mother goddess.

On the old gramophone record that Gates was listening to, someone doing a very bad impersonation of Louis Armstrong’s voice was singing, “I see 7 billion people dead and I think to myself what a wonderful world…”

Gates started whistling a happy tune in conjunction with the lyrics.

Baal and Baphomet entered the room.

“Bill,” Baal rubbed his metallic furnace tummy and belched some CO2 caused by eating too many embryonic stem cells, “Trump has cut U.S. Government funding to the World Health Organization. How are we going to roll out the Mark of the Beast vaccine if our primary organization for imposing it on humanity gets its funding cut?”.

“Well,” Gates put down his brush and palette of oil paints, “I did attack Trump in a tweet. I suspect he’ll attack me back in a tweet shortly.”

“Still, what will we do about WHO funding?” Baphomet did a pirouette around the room in his/ her pink ballet covered goats’ hooves.

“I’ll put in a call to Xi Jinping,” Gates picked his nose with his paint brush so he wouldn’t be touching his face with his finger, “After all he owes WHO’s Director-General Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus a favour for covering up how badly the Chinese Communist Party handled the pandemic in its initial stages back in December even harassing the Wuhan ophthalmologist Dr. Li Wenliang for daring to bring up the subject of a new Coronavirus infecting humans with the authorities.”

“Well, do that as soon as possible,” Baal ordered.

Gates reached for his smart phone and fast dialled Xi Jinping’s number.

. . .

Sitting cross-legged in front of a statue of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft was a cackling Sophie Lewis who wrote articles for the George Soros leftist rag that called itself openDemocracy (an oxymoronic name for a group hoping to shut down democracy in favour of a global totalitarian regime).

In the article, she wrote that she hoped that locking people in their homes during the Coronavirus pandemic would lead to the death of the nuclear family.

She then proceeded to bring out 4 voodoo dolls – one marked Dad, one marked Mom, one marked little Johnny and one marked little Susie.

She then stuck pins in each doll and cackled wildly, “Death. Death to you all.”

Her oven alarm went off.

She went to the kitchen where she had been baking gingerbread cookies in the shapes of the children Hansel and Gretel.

Sophie Lewis was positive that in her previous reincarnation she had been the witch who lived in the enchanted hut in the forest whom those nasty children Hansel and Gretel had pushed into the fiery oven after she had tried to eat them both.

“Revenge, sweet revenge,” Sophie cackled as she ate a dozen Hansel shaped gingerbread cookies and a dozen Gretel shaped gingerbread cookies.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 15th
2020.

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Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

March 26, 2020 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having a conversation with British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Both men were 6 meters away from one another so they wouldn’t be shot by killer drones recently commandeered by WHO (the World Health Organization) for those who violated the world body’s social distancing rules.

Athelstan was also wearing a face mask.

Although whether this was because he feared getting the Coronavirus or because he had just cleaned out the kitty litter box belonging to Nefertiti Galore (the vampire Set’s fiercely protective house cat) is a matter for speculation.

“So, Mr. Renfield,” Athelstan coughed through his face mask, “I hear that Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam issued an Executive Order this past Monday making it a criminal offense to hold a Church service with more than 10 people present. If found guilty, people could be imprisoned for 12 months and/or fined $2,500.”

“I imagine,” Renfield lit his pipe, “that the Baal and Baphomet worshipping Marxist despot Ralph Northam was positively ejaculating in ecstasy and orgasm at being able to sign such an Executive Order. I don’t imagine he’ll ever bother rescinding it even when the pandemic is over.”

“Probably not, sir,” Athelstan dusted off a portrait painting of the late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher dressed in a medieval Iron Maiden torture chamber item suit, “Did you hear that Pope Francis’ personally designated papal successor Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle is saying let’s overcome the Coronavirus with a pandemic of love?”.

“Well,” Renfield sipped his pipe, “Isn’t that jackass just the epitome of romance?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was flying a magic shamrock flying carpet from his rented farmhouse in Vermont to New York City.

Yaldabaoth had recently left Ireland after that country had closed all its pubs (As Yaldabaoth remarked at the time, “You know a world situation is serious when it forces Ireland to close all its pubs.”)

He had gone to Vermont hoping that the pubs would be open.

Many of them were closed but lucky for Yaldabaoth, there were plenty of Vermont country gentlemen who made their own moonshine.

Yaldabaoth rented his Vermont farmstead from another Irish leprechaun The Fantastic Flanigan.

The Fantastic Flanigan had the honour of being the world’s shortest UFC fighter.

He also had the honour of being the world’s only always defeated UFC fighter.

Generally all the other UFC fighters used the Fantastic Flanigan as practice for the day the old medieval sport of dwarf tossing was once again brought back into the world.

It so happened that the Fantastic Flanigan owned a flying carpet (made from magic shamrocks) so he had left it behind in the barn for Yaldabaoth to use.

Flanigan was currently spending his social isolation time at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

As Yaldabaoth approached New York City, he was shocked to see the Big Apple surrounded by an army of Dullahans (A Dullahan was a black horse riding headless horseman of death).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 26th
2020

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Reaper of Death

March 18, 2020 at 11:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Reaper of Death

As the sexual predator Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein headed off to the Wende Correctional Facility near Buffalo New York where shortly the cleft between his buttocks could serve as a stand-in for the Grand Canyon in a travel video shot by an inmate wanting to make travel videos but couldn’t because he was in prison, the homosexual predatory Communist former Cardinal Theodore McCarrick (who sexually assaulted numerous young seminarians over the years) was happily walking down a Florida beach looking for handsome young male lifeguards who could help him relieve his depression and anxiety in the way he enjoyed most.

But there weren’t many people on the beach today as most were social distancing.

“What a pain in the ass a pandemic can be at times,” mused McCarrick.

As Cardinal, the Communist infiltrator into the Catholic Church had been the one to negotiate the Vatican-China Treaty between the Vatican and the Communist government in Beijing by which the underground Catholic Church in China had been sold out to the so-called Chinese Catholic Patriotic Association (run by Bishops appointed by Beijing and loyal to the current Chinese Communist deity Xi Jinping and not to Jesus Christ).

Earlier this month, Pope Francis had taken a break from embracing apostasy, spouting heresy and worshipping Pachamama idols to make a video in which he told Chinese Catholics to get in line and follow the Communist Chinese run Catholic Church.

As McCarrick walked along the beach, he encountered an eight foot tall bat (the nocturnal mammal and not what’s used in the sport of baseball) that had the body of a giant nocturnal mammalian bat but the head of a Thanatotheristes (which translates to Reaper of Death in Greek) a new species of tyrannosaurus that had recently been discovered in the Western Canadian province of Alberta.

McCarrick of course was unaware that it was the head of a Thanatotheristes on the body of a bat.

“What the Hell are you?” McCarrick asked.

“I’m the demon of the Covid-19 Coronavirus,” the strange looking hybrid entity replied.

“But I don’t believe in demons,” McCarrick answered.

He hoped he wasn’t getting the Coronavirus.

It might put a damper on his efforts to find handsome young men to serve as his personal antidepressants.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 18th
2020

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Reblog of Ghost Ship: The Flying Dutchman Sails On and On

March 5, 2020 at 10:25 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

A supernatural narrative poem and vampire novel chapter I wrote over a year and 3 months ago:

Dracul Van Helsing

On a moonlit night the sky’s spotlight
casts its rays down on tonight’s performer
a sailing ship rising out of the mist
in a globe theatre where sea and sky do meet
From underneath the water Poseidon’s hand
seems to rise from below the depths
lifting the old Dutchman like a pearl of great price
as an offering and a gift to Diana’s lantern in the night sky

Oh ship of mighty oak and sturdy deck and towering masts
what a price thou hast paid
for having for a master one Captain Hendrick Van der Decken
He who would make league and sup with the Devil
to have the fastest ship that would sail to the East Indies and back

And so there at the Cape of Good Hope
ship, master and crew would lose all hope
as Captain Hendrick stood on deck at the wheel
and cursed the wind…

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Inside Magical Mystery Tour

February 23, 2020 at 11:36 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic romance, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Inside Magical Mystery Tour 

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was inside his greenhouse.

He was staring at the late Victorian/early Edwardian era antique mirror that stood in the place where his pot smoking and cannabis exhaling desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever had once stood.

A mirror that reflected neither Justin’s image nor the area of the greenhouse around him.

For within its glass was the image of a closed rare and used book store at the intersection of a dark alley and desolate London street at night.

“Where’s my pot smoking cactus plant?” Justin asked, “I thought I was getting a pot smoking cactus plant called Magical Mystery Tour?”.

“Enter the mirror, stupid,” a voice from the bookshop inside the mirror spoke.

“Did you just tell me to enter the mirror?” Justin asked.

“Brilliant deduction,” the voice answered.

Justin walked into the mirror and found himself standing at the corner of desolate street and dark alley in London.

The only thing within his sight was the closed used book store.

Mist which smelled a lot like pot smoke filled the dark London street.

He decided to try to open the door of the closed book store that was called Tezcatlipoca’s Antiquarium and Rare Books.

Sure enough the door opened and a bell above the door rang indicating a customer was entering the shop.

The old shop owner who was a skeleton covered in cob webs looked up from the cob web and dust covered book he was reading called The Brothers Grimm Grimoire.

He got up to greet Justin and his skull fell off.

Whereupon the rest of his bones fell apart as well.

A volume called Old Yale University Alumni fell off one of the book shelves and landed on top of the skull and bones.

Justin walked to the back of the bookstore where he saw a pot of coffee brewing.

The pot of coffee was next to an antique mirror (much like the one in Justin’s greenhouse) except this mirror reflected the book shelves round about as well as Justin’s own image.

A bony finger emerged from inside the mirror and pointed at the coffee pot and an old ceramic cup bearing the image of what looked to be an old Aztec deity.

“Take and drink,” a voice inside the mirror commanded.

Justin poured himself a cup of coffee.

He added cream that he poured from a small statue of the Egyptian cow goddess Hathor.

He added sugar from packets of sugar marked Uncle Ernie’s Sugar Free Sugar that had the inscription at the back Aleister Crowley approved.

He used a skull insignia emblazoned spoon to stir the concoction.

He drank.

Justin then looked at the mirror and saw this image:

Countess Draculina in front of a castle on the West Coast of Scotland

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 23rd
2020.

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Auschwitz: Where Death and Hate Embraced

January 27, 2020 at 11:28 pm (History, Horror, News, Poetry) (, , )

Auschwitz: Where Death and Hate Embraced

The outmost darkness lay behind 
gates that said Work makes you free
Orwellian newspeak before Orwell
even coined the term 
It was all a lie, a battle cry 
for ancient gods craving blood 
A race of übermensch 
that loved the stench 
of the flesh burning in fires 
in concrete pyres 
that reached the sky 

Skies were always gray here 
even when the sun shone up above
Clouds never dropped rain
But the ground soaked blood 
And the bones were food 
for a ravenous Fatherland 
that worshipped death 

Innocence was lost 
under hearts of frost 
Covered by coats of black 
and skull and bone lapels 
in a place under Hell’s dark spells
Marks the spot where pure Evil dwells 

Over a million lives were lost 
where Death always made a winning coin toss 
Off Death’s dark trains, then separate
Some to work, many more to die 
Mark the spot where angels cry 
And blackened smoke fills the sky

This was Hell 
Evil’s hotel 
Where men and women watched 
others die 
While smiling and laughing under Fuhrer’s eye

Some say that was in the past
where Satan’s furnaces had a blast
but when History is forgot
Death’s sinister X marks the spot 

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday January 27th
2020
The 75th Anniversary 
of the liberation of Auschwitz 
in Oswiecim Poland

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Morgana and The Horns of Cernunnos

December 29, 2019 at 11:21 pm (Folklore, Horror, International Intrigue, Mythology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Morgana and The Horns of Cernunnos 

The Welsh vampiress Morgana was very good friends with Cernunnos the horned stag god of the Celts.

For sport, Cernunnos used to take his bow and arrow and hunt those humans who hunted deer for sport.

In the 13th Century in England, the most notorious stag and deer hunter of them all was Lord James Hamish Belfor of the appropriately named Hellreach Castle.

Cernunnos vowed to put an end to this Lord James Hamish Belfor of Hellreach once and for all.

As Lord Belfor was sitting with his fellow hunters celebrating the day’s hunt in The Cyclops Arms Pub, a monk who was a mystic spoke to him, “Did you know that Cernunnos is now hunting for you, oh Lord Belfor of Hellreach?”.

“Who’s Cernunnos?” Asked one of Lord Belfor’s friends who wasn’t very bright (a number of Canadian Prime Ministers in the far distant future would be descended from this questioner’s loins).

“He’s the horned stag god of the Celts, you ninny,” Lord Belfor of Hellreach laughed as he downed yet another pint of cider.

The monk departed the inn just as the Welsh vampiress Morgana entered.

“You know what I’m going to do?” Lord Belfor boasted to his friends, “I’m going to hunt this Cernunnos myself and I swear to the infernal gods below that I shall have this deity’s stag horns hanging on my own castle wall.”

“You fool,” Morgana laughed at him, “You cannot get the horns belonging to a god. Only someone who gives their soul to a devil can do that.”

The lovely vampiress turned and walked out the pub door.

“Then that is what I shall do,” Lord Belfor of Hellreach laughed.

The following night, Lord Belfor summoned Mephistopheles and sold his soul to him in exchange for coming into possession of the horns of Cernunnos.

And so the horns of Cernunnos ended up on the wall of Lord James Hamish Belfor of Hellreach.

The day after that, Lord Belfor was gored to death by a stag.

And so Mephistopheles did not have to wait long to collect his debt.

Of course Cernunnos being a god, his horns grew back.

But someday he vowed to get back his old horns currently on the wall of the Belfor family’s Hellreach Castle.

. . .

During the 1890s, Lord James Hamish Belfor the 13th was in a position to become Prime Minister of Britain.

In fact, he was the favourite of Germany’s Kaiser Wilhelm II to become Prime Minister of Britain as the notorious and traitorous lord would be the Kaiser’s puppet.

One fateful day, Lord Belfor 13th of Hellreach would slay 13 stags in a forest not far from Hellreach Castle.

He went home to celebrate.

He also expected to be summoned shortly by Queen Victoria to form a government.

That night, he paid a visit to the nearby Cyclops Arms Pub to boast of his success with the members of the Saint Hubertus Hunting Lodge.

When he returned home, he discovered one light was already on in the castle’s grand hall as he walked through the door:


Lights shone on the horns of Cernunnos as the Welsh vampiress Morgana stood underneath.

“What the Hell are you doing here?” Lord Belfor angrily asked Morgana.

Standing on the central staircase of the grand hall was the Celtic stag god Cernunnos who raised his crossbow and fired a poisoned arrow at Lord James Hamish Belfor the 13th.

The dreadful Lord died instantly.

Instead of being summoned by Her Majesty Queen Victoria to form a government, Lord Belfor’s body was measured for a casket in an undertaker’s shop and his soul was carried off to Tartarus by Mephistopheles.

And Cernunnos joined his old horns together with his new ones.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday December 29th
2019.

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