The Little Mermaid’s October 2018 Tea Party

October 7, 2018 at 9:38 pm (Inspiration, Life, Personal essays) (, , )

Here’s the Little Mermaid’s WordPress tea party for October 2018.

The Little Mermaid

What better way to suggest friendliness – and to create it – than with a cup of tea?” -J. Grayson Luttrell

Aloha, charming WordPressers!

I’m delighted to announce you that The Little Mermaid is hosting her third monthly tea party on her website. What? A tea party? On WordPress? When? How? For whom? Alright..alright…take it easy. I’m coming on to your questions.

Classically, a ‘tea party’ makes one think of superiorly elegant and elaborate affairs of the Victorian times. It also conjures up images of fluffy scones, flavoursome muffins, Devonshire Cream and dainty sandwiches served on fine silver or deluxe bone china. Still, the elemental part of a tea party remains the affable exchange of dialogue among the invitees. Almost indistinguishably, the tea party that I am organizing is an online social event hosted in honour of bloggers, that is US! Blogging is most enjoyable when it is done interactively…

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Pan Goatee Beheads Oprah Winfrey For Encouraging Self-Esteem Even Amongst Ugly Looking Women

August 29, 2018 at 10:52 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, Inspiration, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee Beheads Oprah Winfrey For Encouraging Self-Esteem Even Amongst Ugly Looking Women

Pan Goatee could not believe the amount of dogs, cows and blimps that were out waddling and stampeding the city streets and sidewalks today.

And of course he was talking about two legged dogs, two legged cows and blimps with their elephant sized legs on the ground as opposed to blocking out the sun up in the sky and vastly increasing the amount of global warming across the globe through their massive body fat and heat.

Who the Hell left the cage doors and barn doors and Goodyear aerodrome doors open?

There were too many uglos for Pan Goatee’s laser astral machete to handle alone.

So he went into a Wal-Mart without any photo ID to buy himself an astral laser automatic machine gun with a thousand rounds of ammunition.

The only piece of ID he had on him was a written note from his psychiatrist that had on it written the single phrase, “This fellow is totally insane and mentally unstable.”

One clerk rang up the bill of sale, the other clerk packed up Pan Goatee’s astral laser automatic machine gun and rounds of ammunition into a bag and a third clerk invited him to buy an NRA membership which they were offering for $5 a year for today only.

Goatee accepted the membership discount.

“If there weren’t so many uglies around today,” Pan quipped, “I’d say today was my lucky day.”

“I know what you mean about uglies visually polluting the urban landscape,” the third clerk sympathized, “I lost yesterday’s breakfast, lunch, dinner, midnight snack and today’s breakfast simultaneously when I came to work this morning.”

“Hey, who up chucked 🤮 the equivalent of the entire Amazon River and Pacific Ocean basin in the men’s washroom?” The janitor’s voice echoed throughout the store.

Pan Goatee went outside, loaded his ammunition and began firing at the massive amount of uglies all over the city.

News media reporters and TV cameramen were too busy reading and analyzing the latest tweets from Donald Trump on their smart phones to film the shootings and the gunman.

When Pan Goatee had started to develop Lee Harvey Oswald elbow as a result of too much shooting with one arm and then Grassy Knoll Gunmen elbow as a result of too much shooting with the other, he went into a cocktail lounge for a drink.

While there, he happened to notice Oprah Winfrey sitting up at the bar.

Goatee approached the former TV show host.

He had run out of ammunition but he still had his astral laser machete.

“It’s all your fault, Oprah,” he told the multi-billionaire entertainer, “that we have so many ugly white women in English speaking North America this century. Telling all these fat ugly blimps to have high self-esteem and feel good about themselves even though they turned into fat ugly visually aesthetically challenged dogs, cows and blimps sitting on their ugly asses watching television all day.”

Pan Goatee immediately beheaded the talk show hostess with his astral laser machete.

“I won’t be back after this message,” were Oprah’s last words as her head rolled on to the floor and then on to the Persian carpet.

. . .

“Mister President,” one of Donald Trump’s White House aides informed him, “we have it on good authority that Oprah Winfrey has just been beheaded.”

“That’s good,” Trump tried to comb some seagull droppings out of his hair, “there goes one of my potential Democratic Presidential opponents for 2020. Anyone behead Dwayne The Rock Johnson yet?”.

“Not yet,” his aide answered.

“Pity,” Trump remarked as he drank a cup of Red Rose Tea which was only available in Canada but he managed to talk his butler and valet Lexington into smuggling some across the border for him.

. . .

Ellen DeGeneres was trying to find Nemo in her outdoor fish pond when she was informed by her gardener that Oprah Winfrey had been beheaded.

“How awful,” Ellen gasped.

“I see that the publishers of A Course In Miracles have had Ms. Winfrey’s head and body cryogenically frozen and have hired London’s Set Enterprises scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher to see if he can re-attach her head and body and then re-animate her,” the gardener read a news bulletin off his CNN News App.

“I hope he can,” Ellen said as Nemo came leaping out of the pond asking, “Where’s Dory?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 29th
2018.


A well-known anthropologist says that zombies 🧟‍♂️ probably don’t have the aesthetic sensibilities of Pan Goatee 🐐.

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The meaning of it all: An Idea Provoker Blog Post By Apple Rae

July 22, 2018 at 10:47 pm (Commentary, Inspiration, Life, Personal essays) ()

Here’s a very insightful and beautifully written blog post that was written by a great writer and blogger: Apple Rae-

IdeaProvoker

She closed her eyes to feel the warmth of the words that were too excited to escape. Words that have been jailed for quite a while, words that she kept to herself they ended up battling too much in her head. Ironic as it may seem, no matter how much she wanted to get turned on by the sensuality that writing usually gives her, she refused the treat—for she thought she didn’t deserve it.

“It’s not about “deserve”, it’s about what you believe.” -Wonder Woman

And despite of it all, all the mess and the war, she still believes in the power of love. Love that she puts in every work she does, no matter how many times she had failed herself or even others. She loved every splash of ink, every bit of ideas, every little sense of magic, every foolish mistakes, and everything that helps her create.

And…

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Thai Cave Rescue Completed Today and Remembering The Chilean Miners’ Rescue of 2010

July 10, 2018 at 9:39 pm (Commentary, Film, History, Inspiration, Life, News, Personal essays, Video, videos) (, , , )

Thai Cave Rescue Completed Today and Remembering The Chilean Miners’ Rescue of 2010

All 12 boys and their soccer coach have now been rescued from the Tham Luang cave in the province of Chiang Rai in northern Thailand 🇹🇭.

The Wild Boars soccer team is now safe.

They were in the cave 17 days.

The dramatic rescue reminded me of the rescue of the Chilean miners at the San Jose Mine near Copiapó Chile 🇨🇱 back in 2010 when 33 miners who had been trapped underground in a collapsed mine for 69 days were finally rescued.

The same feeling of the whole world watching with breathless anticipation and silent prayer and then the joy and elation after the rescue struck me as very similar.

Back in 2010, I had a desktop computer which allowed me the ability to make movies on it.

In 2008, I made plenty of photo montage music videos.

In 2009 after I figured out how to download videos off the Net to my computer, I then made combined video footage/photo montage videos.

I did the same throughout most of 2010.

The only time I did a complete video footage montage music video was this one I did about the Chilean Miners’ Rescue in 2010.

I downloaded various videos of the rescue from different news networks throughout the world and then chose what I thought were the most poignant moments from each and edited them together and set them to music- The Working Man Song as sung by Cape Breton Island Nova Scotia singer Rita MacNeil.

-A personal reflection
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 10th
2018.

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Haiku On The 400th Anniversary of Shakespeare’s Death

April 23, 2016 at 7:38 pm (Commentary, Culture, Entertainment, History, Inspiration, Literature, News, Plays, Poetry) (, , , , )

Haiku On The 400th Anniversary of Shakespeare’s Death

Save in this man’s case
the good he did still lives on
not interred with bones

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Haiku About The Tree In Winter

January 3, 2015 at 12:13 am (Inspiration, Nature, Poetry) (, , , )

Haiku About The Tree In Winter

– written by Christopher
Friday January 2nd
2015.

The tree in winter
stands desolate and forlorn
yet will bloom in spring

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I Once Met A Man Who Looked Like Orson Welles

July 3, 2014 at 5:23 pm (Inspiration, Short Story, Sports) (, , , , , , , , , , )

I Once Met A Man Who Looked Like Orson Welles

At a picnic many years ago, I once met a man who looked like Orson Welles.

Orson Welles as he looked later in life- bearded and heavyset.

At the table in front of him, he had a litre of wine and a glass.

The glass had both wine and ice in it.

Drinking wine with ice in it.

That struck me as something Orson Welles might do.

The man even sounded like Orson Welles as he talked.

He even laughed like Orson Welles laughed.

As Orson Welles had been long dead at the time I met this man, this would probably be the closest I’d get to meeting someone like Orson Welles I figured.

The man talked about growing up on a farm near Watson, Saskatchewan back during the Depression years of the 1930s.

He talked about the baseball team in the town of Watson.

About how his father was a big fan of baseball.

He loved the New York Yankees and he loved Watson’s baseball team.

Watson had a good team.

But they always lost to Regina in the league championships each year.

Plus the Watson baseball team did not really have a good set of uniforms being a small town of the Depression years.

Regina being Saskatchewan’s largest city had a great set of uniforms for their players.

And the man who looked like Orson Welles went on, “It was a night in August…”

Sadly I’ve forgotten the year he mentioned but it was an August night sometime in the late ’30s.

And Regina and Watson would probably be playing again in the League Championships at the end of the season judging from the amount of wins each team had.

So this August night the game between the two of them would probably serve as a preview of the League Championships.

And it seemed to be a harbinger of such judging from past years.

Because Watson always played well but Regina always ended up winning.

And the Regina players would always rub it in to the Watson players about their loss.

And they would always rub it in to the Watson players about their uniforms.

That particular August night after the Watson loss, ‘Orson Welles’ father heard one of the Regina players say to one of the Watson players, “Your playing is like your uniforms. Not quite up to par.”

‘Orson Welles’ father was livid.

But it just happened that fall that ‘Orson Welles’ father had a rare bumper crop for those years of the Depression.

And as a result, he had money coming in.

So he bought things needed for the home, the farm and the family.

And he still had money left over.

So he bought a whole fresh new set of uniforms for the Watson baseball team which he presented to them the week before the League Championship- which was once again between Watson and Regina.

Championship Day came.

And the Regina players’ eyes bulged out of their heads when they saw the Watson team’s uniforms.

The sight must have been too much for the Regina players to handle.

For that year they lost the League Championships to Watson.

After the game, one of the Watson players while holding the Championship Trophy went up to one of the Regina players (the one who had said, “Your playing is like your uniforms. Not quite up to par.”) and holding up the trophy and adjusting his spiffy looking jersey asked him, “How do you like our uniforms?”.

A story related by a voice like Orson Welles.

I shall always remember that story.

And I shall always remember that line spoken with an Orson Welles voice, “How do you like our uniforms?”.

-A short story
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 2nd
2014
based on an anecdote
told him many years ago
by a man who looked
like Orson Welles.

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Squirrely Peanut Butter? Fangs A Lot!

June 30, 2007 at 3:47 am (Inspiration)

From draculvanhelsing on 06/29/07

I’ve always loved the works of Lewis Carroll! When I read your entry title just then, Zut! un serpent geant, for some reason the image of a giant serpent entered my mind but then I imagined Harry Woo left out this giant jar of peanut butter and curious the serpent put its fangs in the peanut butter and then peanut butter got caught in the serpent’s fangs and its fangs got stuck together but its last words before it got its fangs stuck together were Zut! un serpent geant.

From draculvanhelsing on 06/29/07

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