Morgana, Donald Trump, Maitreya, Pan Goatee and John McCain

March 20, 2018 at 10:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Morgana, Donald Trump, Maitreya, Pan Goatee and John McCain

The Welsh Vampiress Morgana (MP for Newbridge in Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿) walked into this evening’s caucus meeting of the two person British Transhumanist Party Caucus.

She was wearing a black lace lingerie style mini dress, black silk fishnet pantyhose and black spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

Despite the 6 inch stilettos she was wearing she had a certain spring to her step on this first day of spring and was positively glowing.

“Well, this is the happiest I think I’ve ever seen you,” her parliamentary colleague Renfield R. Renfield commented.

“Oh probably,” she continued to sit there smiling in ecstasy.

“Now on item 1 on tonight’s agenda, do you think we should side with Theresa May or Jeremy Corbyn on this particular amendment?” Renfield asked.

“Have you ever read the Kama Sutra?” Morgana stared dreamily into space.

“Um, no, I haven’t,” Renfield answered.

Renfield looked at Morgana.

Why was she bringing up the Kama Sutra? Renfield wondered to himself.

. . .

Meanwhile Pan Goatee was on a rampage killing a whole bunch of ugly women.

“How dare you ruin the first day of spring by showing your ugly faces in public?” Pan Goatee exclaimed as he used his laser machete to decapitate them.

A golden cobra wearing a crown made of shamrocks watched the spectacle with some amusement.

“I have heard of this noble creature who can astral project,” the serpent called Maitreya mused aloud, “he is able to create an astral laser machete with his mind. Impressive.
And what impressive work he is doing. “

The snake looked around at the decapitated heads before regurgitating his Irish shepherd’s pie (made with real Irish shepherds), “But hard, what sight though yonder mirror breaks?”.

. . .

Donald Trump was telling Lexington his English butler and valet about the day he had.

“And of course I phoned my old buddy Vladimir to congratulate him on his landslide election victory,” Trump beamed beatifically like a vampiress exposed to the Kama Sutra.

“Of course I think Mr. Putin does get on some people’s nerves through his agents,” Lexington remarked knowing that the remark would be totally lost on a Twitter aficionado like Mr. Trump.

“I suppose,” Trump stared blankly into space.

On the television, Arizona Republican Senator John McCain could be heard saying, “An American President does not lead the free world by congratulating dictators on winning sham elections.”

Trump grimaced.

Then said bitterly, “Real heroes don’t criticize a God like me.”

Later Lexington put a plate of French fries 🍟 down in front of Trump.

“Wow, these fries are delicious 😋,” Trump grabbed the fries as enthusiastically as he would grab a porn star’s pussy, “what brand of fries are these?”.

“I’ll make sure to ask the chef for you, sir,” Lexington answered.

“Please do,” Trump got a fry caught in his toupee.

Lexington walked away smiling at his own private joke.

Because Lexington himself had prepared these fries.

From a bag of McCain French Fries.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 20th
2018.

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The Welsh Vampiress and The White Wolf

March 19, 2018 at 10:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Welsh Vampiress and The White Wolf

The Welsh Vampiress Morgana (also known as Morgana Fay Lee) the British Transhumanist MP for the Welsh constituency of Newbridge was walking the streets of London.

She was unable to find a cab this evening which was unusual for London.

And she did not feel like turning into a bat 🦇 and flying into tonight’s cold wind.

She was dressed in a turquoise coloured evening dress having attended a charity event reception earlier tonight.

As she walked down the street, she was followed by a man in dark clothing much like the attire said to have been worn by Jack the Ripper.

The man was a GRU (Russian Military Intelligence Service) agent who chose the outfit because he had an historical sense of humour (unlike Benny Hill with his hysterical sense of humour).

He carried a poisoned tip umbrella 🌂 containing a poison recently developed by FSB research scientist Dr. Nicht Werhoffen (originally of the East German Stasi).

Vladimir Putin had given the order for the assassination of Morgana.

For two reasons:

1): To test the new poison

2): To send a warning to her Transhumanist parliamentary colleague Renfield R. Renfield to tone down his anti-Putin rhetoric.

Unbeknownst to the GRU agent, he too was being followed.

By a white wolf with blue eyes.

The GRU agent was now only feet away from the Welsh Vampiress.

The white wolf howled.

Morgana quickly turned.

She jumped out of the way as the man lunged.

The umbrella stabbed him in the stomach as he fell.

“Merde,” was the last word of the GRU agent who was currently taking French lessons.

There would be one less student in the Foreign Languages school in Moscow next week.

The white wolf with blue eyes turned and vanished into the night.

Since the man spoke French with a Russian accent, Morgana deduced that he was probably a Russian agent out to assassinate her.

She didn’t know what effect lethal Russian weapons would have on vampiresses but she didn’t intend to stand around and find out.

She knew that Renfield’s friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had an apartment not far from here so she would hide there if he was home.

She rang the buzzer and Dracul answered.

He buzzed her up.

She ran up the stairs rather than take the elevator.

Dracul was standing outside his door in the hallway waiting for her to arrive.

He invited her in and closed the door.

On the other side of the hall, Dracul’s neighbour an elderly Scottish woman was peering through the keyhole of her apartment door and said to herself, “Probably another shameless hussy here to take Kama Sutra lessons.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 19th
2018.

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Inna Huculak and Svetlana Kireeva In Stockholm

March 15, 2018 at 11:00 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Inna Huculak and Svetlana Kireeva In Stockholm

The Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB was walking the streets of Stockholm Sweden 🇸🇪.

The short skirted Russian vampiress was feeling quite pleased with herself.

She had been the mastermind behind a plot to kill a Russian 🇷🇺 traitor and his daughter in Salisbury, England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿.

Vengeance against those who would betray Vladimir Putin the Great Leader of the Russian Motherland.

As well as vengeance against Britain 🇬🇧 where she had been held as a prisoner for 2 years in an MI-6 interrogation chamber in London from 2014 to 2016 before she finally managed to escape.

Miss Kireeva was in Stockholm to spy on the meeting between North Korean 🇰🇵 Foreign Minister Ri Yong-ho and Swedish Prime Minister Stefan Lofven.

Her boss Vladimir Putin was worried about a possible summit meeting between Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.

As an FSB colleague put it, “I’m afraid Putin is becoming increasingly paranoid about everything.”

That FSB colleague now found himself out of a job but he did have the consolation of landing himself a one way ticket to Siberia.

Putin’s paranoia, in the Siberia bound ex-FSB agent’s words, began when Putin had visited a Moscow based spiritist medium to consult with the ghosts of Joseph Stalin and Vladimir Lenin.

Putin who claimed to now be a devout Christian and a convert to the Russian Orthodox Church had pulled a King Saul of Israel 🇮🇱 by consulting with familiar spirits and necromancers in direct violation of divine prohibition as revealed to Moses in the Book of Deuteronomy Chapter 18.

In addition to having a pleasant chat with the ghosts of Lenin and Stalin, an entity calling himself the Archangel Michael appeared to Putin.

This entity was really the demon Moloch in disguise.

And now Moloch as the Archangel Michael was encouraging Putin to strike against everyone and everything that stood in his way.

But all this was unknown to Svetlana Kireeva as she walked down the streets of Stockholm clicking the sidewalks with her spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes 👠.

Watching the short skirted beautiful brunette Russian vampiress was a very beautiful blonde woman wearing a short skirt.

This woman also was a vampiress.

But a Ukrainian vampiress.

Inna Huculak of the Ukrainian 🇺🇦 Intelligence Service.

And Svetlana Kireeva’s vampiric immortal foe and arch-enemy.

As Morgan Freeman might phrase it in his narrative voice if he was in Stockholm, “Let the Blood Hunger Games begin.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 15th
2018.

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Renfield Discusses Dungeons With The Vampire Set

March 14, 2018 at 10:55 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Renfield Discusses Dungeons With The Vampire Set

Renfield R. Renfield MP was discussing the dungeons in the basement of the colossal West London mansion with the mansion’s owner and his former boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampire Set.

“So you want to use part of the basement dungeons as interrogation chambers for MI-6?” Set inquired as he chewed on a roast crocodile.

“That’s right, Boss,” Renfield was used to calling the former Egyptian god of darkness and the desert by that name from the days when he used to work for him.

“Well of course part of the basement dungeons my new Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering Sherrielock Holmes uses for her dominatrix service,” Set licked crocodile flesh off his fingers.

“I know,” Renfield adjusted the cushions under his tender buttocks, “it’s the other part of the basement dungeons that I’d use.”

“And what prisoners will you be keeping there?” Set belched into the evening air.

“Some Russian military intelligence officers we captured in Syria through the efforts of our allies Prince Vlad Dracula and the Israeli Mossad agent the Controller of the Golem,” Renfield replied.

“So you’re moving quickly against Putin’s Russia eh?” Set drank from a jar of Josef Stalin’s blood he kept for special occasions, “while Theresa May is publicly expelling 23 Russian diplomats from the UK, you’re privately rounding up members of Russia’s high-ranking military and intelligence services?”.

“That is correct,” Renfield said, “because if Putin wants to get into a pissing contest with me, he better have strong and powerful kidneys because mine are made of steel.”

Set who was privately worried these days (and nights) that he might finally be coming down with senility at his advanced age of a few thousand years wrinkled his forehead.

He was trying to remember if his Chief Scientist at Set Enterprises Dr. Cadbury Rocher had equipped Renfield R. Renfield with steel kidneys when he had genetically created him in a lab.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 14th
2018.

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Michelangelo’s Vision of Moscow and Putin In The Future

March 11, 2018 at 10:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of Moscow and Putin In The Future

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was asleep 💤 in his lobster tank at the Set Enterprises laboratories when suddenly his lobster antennae picked up a vision of Moscow and Vladimir Putin from the near future.

The re-elected Russian 🇷🇺 President had been given an invitation to an opening of a new exclusive men’s hairstyling salon 💇‍♂️ in Moscow where the hairstylists were all breathtakingly beautiful and young topless and short skirted Russian women.

Although the Russian President was quite bald and chose not to wear an orangish coloured red spider monkey fur toupee (unlike some world leaders), he decided to take advantage of the free haircut and shave.

He could always use a scalp massage and a shave.

Putin was given a thoroughly pleasing scalp massage by the young attractive female hairstylist who did a lot of bending over as she went to get more water from the sink and more hair massage cream from the lower drawers.

“Moscow always has such lovely views this time of year,” Putin remarked to the young blonde hairstylist.

“Indeed it does,” she smiled and winked at him, “Are you ready for your hot towel shave?”.

“Yes,” Putin smiled.

She then put the steaming hot towel on his face.

“Oh God, it burns, it burns!” Putin screamed.

Putin scrambled off the chair and on to the floor still screaming, “It burns. It burns.”

“I imagine it does,” a grinning Renfield R. Renfield MP from Britain’s Westminster Parliament stood in front of him.

Renfield was dressed in a James Bond style white tuxedo suit and sipping a martini 🍸- shaken not stirred.

“All these hairstylists are paid operatives for MI-6,” Renfield lit a cigarette with a gold cigarette lighter.

Amadeus came into the salon carrying a toy piano 🎹 and sat down at the piano and played the song As Time Goes By.

“You’re probably wondering to yourself,” Renfield blew cigarette smoke in Bogart style fashion into the air, “Why of all the hairstyling salons in all the world did that nasty Brit Renfield R. Renfield have to walk into this one?”.

“It burns, it burns,” Putin seemed to be singing a Russian Orthodox style litany of pain on the spot.

“Like I said this hairstyling salon is actually an MI-6 operation,” Renfield smiled, “and that burning sensation you’re still feeling from the steaming hot towel is probably caused by a smattering of VX nerve agent on the towel- the same substance that killed Kim Jong-nam (the half-brother of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un) when two women attacked his face with towels at Kuala Lumpur International Airport on February 13th last year. But don’t worry the amount put on your towel isn’t enough to kill you. Just enough to give you the most delectable amount of pain until you do face your death.”

“How am I to die?” Asked Putin.

The topless short skirted hairstylists had meanwhile grabbed Putin and took off all his clothes and then forced him into a kneeling position with his bum stuck up in the air.

“Allow me to introduce you to Mr. Harvey Weinstein,” Renfield introduced the disgraced Hollywood producer who likewise was in the all together save for the pair of glasses 👓 he was wearing, “Mr. Weinstein was recently given a serum invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher. This serum turned him gay.”

A look of realization and horror entered Putin’s eyes.

“Well there you go, Harvey,” Renfield pointed to the Russian leader’s most inviting derrière, “go to it.”

Weinstein mounted Putin while Amadeus played the song Home On The Range on the piano followed by the theme music to the film Brokeback Mountain.

“Mr. Weinstein’s phallus has been laced with the same nerve agent used in the attack on Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia in Salisbury,” Renfield explained, “though somewhat modified by Dr. Cadbury Rocher. Mr. Weinstein’s phallus is not harmed by the substance that it is carrying. However the same cannot be said for your rear end. You shall die a most unique and excruciating 😖 death 💀.”

“How could you do this?” Putin had tears in his eyes as well as Weinstein’s phallus in his behind.

“I was authorized to do it by an emergency meeting of Cobra 🐍 by the British government this past March 10,” Renfield smiled, “though I was given full artistic control over the whole operation so I could give it my own Renfieldian artistic flourish.”

As Weinstein exploded in orgasm, Amadeus played She’ll Be Coming Round The Mountain ⛰ When She Comes on the piano.

“Salisbury, thou art avenged!” Putin shouted as he gave up the ghost 👻.

“I wonder if I can get a good Salisbury steak somewhere in Moscow,” asked Amadeus who was starting to feel hungry 😋.

Meanwhile Renfield was looking at one of the beautiful topless short skirted hairstylists and said to her, “Feodora, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 11th
2018.

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The Kim Yo-jong Van Helsing Encounter

March 9, 2018 at 11:17 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, love, Mythology, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Kim Yo-jong Van Helsing Encounter

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was meeting Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a popular London Fish N’ Chips shop called Cockney Kids Fish N’ Chips.

Van Helsing had just returned from Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 where he had spent the entire week making out with Lepardia Marango who was the South African government’s Cultural Attaché in London.

Whitstable was still trying to recover from the shocking and totally unexpected news that North Korea’s Kim Jong-un had invited Donald Trump to meet with him and Trump had accepted.

Whitstable was convinced that there was something more at work here than just the diplomatic efforts of South Korea’s President Moon Jae-in.

“Dracul,” Whitstable wanted to know, “was there something more to your encounter with Kim Yo-jong than just finding out if she was a kumiho (a nine-tailed fox from Korean folklore and mythology who’s over a thousand years old and has the ability to shapeshift back and forth into a beautiful woman).”

“As Richard Dawkins is my witness,” Dracul answered, “there wasn’t.”

At that moment, the chef/owner of Cockney Kids Fish N’ Chips Shop immediately took the Today’s Special: All You Can Eat Fish and Chips sign off the counter as soon as he saw Amadeus Emanon walk through the door of the restaurant.

French President Emmanuel Macron was reading a report compiled by French Intelligence on whether the government of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad had been using chemical weapons against civilians in the Eastern Ghouta suburb.

He turned white when reading the report.

He immediately got on the phone ☎️ to U.S. President Donald Trump.

Meanwhile in the Oval Office, Donald Trump was reading an NSA (National Security Agency) report that was turning his orangish reddish toupee white.

The NSA was currently monitoring a blogger who ostensibly was writing a science-fiction novel on-line but DARPA was convinced that there was something more to it.

“Oh my Divine Self,” Trump exclaimed to an aide, “There may be the possibility that an illegal Japanese alien in this country is actually the Greek Gorgon Medusa in disguise.”

Meanwhile in his parliamentary office in Westminster, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was telling the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill over brandy, “I, an Opposition MP with only 2 seats for my Party in Parliament, have been invited by the Home Secretary Amber Rudd to a meeting of the government’s emergency committee Cobra tomorrow to discuss the nerve agent attacks on former Russian spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia Skripal.”

“Congratulations, Mr. Renfield,” Churchill raised his glass, “You appear to have arrived.”

Meanwhile back in his London apartment, Dracul Van Helsing received a phone call from Kim Yo-jong the younger sister of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.

“Dracul,” she said breathlessly, “Thank you for the gift. Wherever did you find an ancient Korean edition of the Kama Sutra?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 9th
2018.

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Renfield Rescued By Norse Valkyrie and Then Discusses Putin With Churchill’s Ghost

March 6, 2018 at 11:50 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Rescued By Norse Valkyrie and Then Discusses Putin With Churchill’s Ghost

Last night Sir Renfield R. Renfield MP had been saved from drowning in the Thames River by the Norse Valkyrie Svipul who had been flying overhead at the time.

Mr. Renfield had found himself caught up in an avalanche of snow and a wave of rainwater while singing badly performed renditions of old Rod Stewart and Glen Campbell songs.

The combined avalanche/wave pushed Mr. Renfield into the icy Thames River where Mr. Renfield could not extricate himself from such a predicament unless he was wearing a pair of snow flippers which he wasn’t (namely because such an unusual pair of foot apparel – a combination of snow shoes and scuba flippers- hasn’t been invented yet).

Fortunately for Mr. Renfield, the Norse Valkyrie Svipul had been flying overhead at the time.

Also fortunately for Mr. Renfield, the Norse Valkyrie Svipul did not recognize him as the individual who had butchered the lyrics and melody of the Liebestod from Richard Wagner’s opera Tristan und Isolde while performing a filibuster on a Brexit bill in the Westminster House of Commons a couple of months earlier.

Otherwise she’d have probably let the shapeshifting hamster/human British Transhumanist MP drown.

Mr. Renfield was much warmer now having put on a dry pair of clothes and also having received a thorough bottom blistering spanking from the Norse Valkyrie Svipul (who it turns out was a good dominatrix friend of the immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes).

Mr. Renfield was now seated in his parliamentary office on an extra extra extra comfortable cushion on his chair at his desk seated across from the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill.

“So according to the Foreign Secretary Mr. Johnson’s speech in the Commons earlier today,” Churchill sipped on his ghostly brandy, “a certain foreign power may be responsible for the unknown substance attack on former Russian spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia Skripal in what is now being called the Salisbury Incident.”

“Yes,” Renfield nodded, “the Russians will probably stonewall high enough around Salisbury that they’ll erect a Russian Stonehenge to match the Druidic one.”

“No doubt the invisible hand of Mr. Putin is behind this,” Churchill rubbed his ghostly chin thoughtfully with his ghostly fingers.

“Undoubtedly,” Renfield sipped his non-ghostly and definitely non-ghastly brandy.

“If these ghastly events continue,” Churchill bit his ghostly lip, “Vladimir Putin may have to be bumped off.”

“Yes, I’ll probably have to bump Vladimir Putin off,” Renfield agreed as he accepted the Raymond Red Reddington Award that had been given him by an admiring fellow blogger.

“Well,” Churchill peered at Renfield over his ghostly spectacles 👓, “If any person in the world is capable of bumping off the notorious Mr. Putin, it would be you, Mr. Renfield.”

“Well, it certainly wouldn’t be Donald Trump,” Renfield agreed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 6th
2018.

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London Swings Like A Pendulum Do: The Tower of Big Ben

August 17, 2017 at 8:13 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , )

London Swings Like A Pendulum Do: The Tower of Big Ben

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had received an urgent text message from the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Apparently Qonzilqointec had always wanted to make out underneath the bell of Big Ben in the famous London clock tower that people also called by that name.

Now the Aztec vampiress had just found out that the Big Ben clock tower would be undergoing renovations for the next 4 years and the bell would fall silent following the chimes at noon next Monday August 21st.

She asked Dracul to meet her underneath the bell at the clock tower between 7 and 8 tonight so they could make out.

“I’ve got to go,” Dracul explained the whole situation to Amadeus Emanon whom he was having tea ☕️ with.

Dracul exited the tea shop.

Amadeus’ iPhone went off.

“Hello?” Amadeus answered.

“Hello, Amadeus?” It was Renfield R. Renfield, “I’ve lost Dracul’s mobile phone number. Is he still there with you?”.

“No, he’s gone to the Tower of Big Ben to make out with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec underneath the bell since they’re going to silence the bell for the next 4 years starting next Monday,” Amadeus unwrapped and ate a chocolate covered peanut shaped replica of the Dr. Who TARDIS Police Call Box Public Phone Booth.

“Wow, some guys have all the fun,” Renfield remarked as the Simon and Garfunkel song The Sounds of Silence played on the radio behind him.

. . .

Cardinal Walter Kasper was walking through the halls of the Vatican when a statue of Our Lady of Fatima crashed down right beside him.

“Oh well,” Cardinal Kasper looked at his watch ⌚️ 7:06 PM, “No great loss.”

. . .

The great South African artist SAREJESS was having another dream.

He dreamed that the Tower of Big Ben in London was sending out a great searchlight signal that read 1001 Positions of the Kama Sutra.

He saw Dr. Who’s TARDIS Police Call Box Public Phone Booth flying through the air.

He saw the Greek god Ares dressed in a full suit of armour prepared for war and sailing on the Ship of Hades (a ship he had recently painted a few weeks ago) at sea.

He saw North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un wearing a top hat 🎩, tux, tails and cane and tap dancing while holding hands with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby singing Thanks For The Memory while the clock struck midnight at Rick’s Cafe Americain in Casablanca.

He saw Donald Trump shampooing his hair and a barrel of monkeys falls out of it.

He saw the three-headed dog Cerberus biting a scythe holding Father Time on the buttocks.

He saw Ares trying to shove a large tornado shaped vortex into a small bottle.

He saw a red dress wearing red headed woman standing in the middle of snow ❄️ in the middle of a forest and firing two unusual looking armed weapons.

The woman (although a redhead) looked like Serena the blonde he had seen in the room with Belvedere on the 2nd floor of The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon in that dream he had a few weeks ago where an Egyptian Pharaoh looking Orson Welles had come out of a Cuckoo Clock on the room’s wall.

. . .

British Prime Minister Theresa May was just walking below the clock tower of Big Ben at Westminster when a pair of very sexy red lingerie Victoria’s Secret panties fell down on top of her head.

“Nice looking panties, Mrs. May,” British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked as he walked by.

“They’re not mine,” Mrs. May’s blushing 😊 red face could not be seen under the red panties.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 17th
2017.

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Donald Trump, Trump’s History Teacher and Bashar Assad

April 7, 2017 at 4:52 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was having lunch with the lovely attractive and highly intelligent CSIS agent Monica Dhaliwal at a pub in London.

Unbeknownst to the duo, the pub had been the scene of an attempted murder a few days earlier where the widow of a recently deceased City of London investor Donald Mahatma Ahmad Campbell Singh Khan had attempted to murder Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher after the widow had received a rather curtly put death notification via text message sent by one Renfield R. Renfield.

As Monica Dhaliwal adjusted her smartly stylish gray skirt, she asked the vampire hunter (who served as a consultant to Britain’s MI-6 Branch- The Diablos Nocturna Division) how he thought World War 3 would begin, Van Helsing replied, “Well roughly 3000 years ago, a fight between two men over a beautiful woman led to a major war- the Trojan War. Today, given the times we are living in, a Twitter tweet will probably cause the outbreak of World War 3.”

And speaking of Twitter tweets, Donald Trump was, at that moment, trying to figure out how to spell the word “Complicity” before sending out a Twitter tweet.

U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson entered the room wearing a t-shirt with a picture of a T-Rex on it and the words T-REX emblazoned in red beneath the carnivorous dinosaur, “Mr. President, Vladimir Putin is quite pissed off by our missile strikes on Bashar al-Assad’s forces.”

“He was probably drinking too much vodka the night before,” Trump mused, “The same thing happens to me when I drink too much Coca-Cola. Or is it Pepsi that I drink? I can’t remember. I’ll have to remember to ask Ivanka.”

“Of course, our missile response was the only response possible to the use of chemical weapons against Idlib earlier this week,” Tillerson pointed out.

“Indeed it was,” Trump took out a comb and started combing his hair, “Indeed it was.”

“Not to forget,” a Trump aide pointed out, “The Syrian President made fun of your hair in one of his Twitter tweets on that same day.”

“That’s right,” Trump angrily threw his comb across the room knocking the book The Guns of August by Barbara W. Tuchman off the book shelf, “Nobody insults my hair and gets away with it. Nobody.”

“I heard, Mr. President, that you got a text message last night from your old high school History teacher who now lives in California,” said T-Rex Rex Tillerson.

“That’s right I did,” Trump smiled, “he told me that yesterday April 6th 2017 was the 100th Anniversary of America’s entry into World War I which coincidentally enough I discovered had occurred 100 years earlier on April 6th 1917.’

“I’m surprised your High School History teacher is still alive,” the aide looked shocked.

“So was I,” said Trump, “so I sent a CIA agent to investigate. That should be him now.”

CIA Agent Mordred Zimmerman entered the room.

“Well, Zimmerman, what have you got to report?” Trump gazed at the agent.

“Your high school History teacher is still apparently alive and well and currently living in San Francisco, Mr. President,” Zimmerman took out his note book and read.

“I wonder how that is possible that he’s still alive,” Trump scratched his head, “He was already in his early 60s when he taught me in High School.”

“Well, I regret to report, Mr. President, that your old High School History teacher is now a vampire,” Zimmerman pulled out a garlic sausage sandwich and started eating it.

“How is that possible?” Trump’s eyes darted around his office for signs of a Cross or Crucifix.

“He was apparently turned into a vampire by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec,” Zimmerman answered.

“See, this is another reason why we shouldn’t let Mexicans into this country,” Trump waved a finger at Rex Tillerson.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 7th
2017.

Vladimir Putin

A desperately in need of Exlax looking Russian leader Vladimir Putin issues a stern warning to Donald Trump over the U.S. missile strikes against the forces of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

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