Reblog of Mermaid Miranda’s Revelation Part 2

December 1, 2018 at 11:17 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel)

A post that gives some background to what’s been happening in a few of my vampire novel chapters recently.

Dracul Van Helsing

“The reason,” Miranda the mermaid looked at Nathan the Controller of the Golem, “that the mermaid goddess Atargatis wants to destroy Israel is because of her daughter Semiramis. Semiramis has formed an alliance with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who, of course, has always wanted to destroy Israel and the Jews because she claims that the Babylonian Talmud maligned and libeled her good name.”

“Yes, Lilith once poisoned my Scotch whisky with polonium-210 while I was sitting in a London pub,” Nathan recalled, “it was Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher who saved my life with an antidote to polonium-210 that he invented.”

“I heard about that, Nathan,” Miranda looked at him sympathetically.

“But what caused Semiramis to form an alliance with Lilith?” Nathan asked.

“Her first husband Nimrod returned to Earth a few years ago aboard a UFO with a bunch of ET grays,” Miranda explained, “and…

View original post 378 more words

Advertisements

Permalink 9 Comments

Renfield Takes Russian Sailors Hostage In Sea of Azov

November 29, 2018 at 11:52 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield along with the Ukrainian vampiress Inna Huculak and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing sailed on Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s submarine The Amphitrite II accompanied by a brigade of British Army Gurkha commandos straight through the Strait of Kerch to the Sea of Azov.

They rammed a Russian Navy submarine the Svyatoy Ivan and sank it to the bottom of the sea.

As Renfield sang “Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea, joy to you and me…” on the Amphitrite II waterproof outdoor loudspeaker, the mermaid Miranda raised the sunken Svyatoy Ivan above the waves where the hatch was opened after being fired upon by a miniature Tesla Death Ray carried by Renfield.

A white wolf with blue eyes, a black jaguar with silver eyes and several Gurkhas jumped aboard the vessel.

Through a bullhorn bearing an autographed picture of the Australian Holstein Friesian steer Knickers, Renfield gave the Russian sailors an ultimatum and a choice.

They could either get their testicles cut off by the Gurkhas and their famous daggers or get some of their body parts bitten off by the white wolf with blue eyes or get their body parts scratched and clawed by the black jaguar with silver eyes or they could surrender.

Every single Russian sailor surrendered.

The Union Jack was raised on the flagpole of the Svyatoy Ivan while Inna Huculak played “Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves…” on her Ukrainian ukulele.

Renfield R. Renfield pulled his pants down and took a crap on a lifelike effigy of Russian President Vladimir Putin as Inna Huculak sang a song from the musical Oliver “What is the cause of his red shiny nose? Could it be Oom-pah-pah?”… while playing the accordion with her magnificent pair of knockers.

The ghost of Orson Welles filmed everything with his camera and uploaded it to YouTube and Instagram.

The surrender of the Russian sailors and Renfield’s defecating actions were then projected on to a large airport runway in Argentina as Vladimir Putin’s plane landed in Buenos Aires for the G-20 Summit.

Putin suddenly came down with a severe case of heartburn which the airplane doctor attributed to an overindulgence in Ukrainian cabbage rolls on the Russian leader’s part.

As the ghost of Orson Welles and the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill sat on a yacht in the Strait of Kerch and drank wine and brandy respectively, Welles lamented on his marriage to actress Rita Hayworth.

Welles said mournfully that if he had spent a little less time intellectualizing his many ideas and spent more time making out with the lovely Rita Hayworth, his marriage might have been saved.

Meanwhile the lovely Ukrainian vampiress Inna Huculak sat on a pier in a marina in the Strait of Kerch on the Crimea when Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing approached:

Inna Huculak immediately took Dracul Van Helsing over her knee and spanked him for making out with Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva a couple of days earlier.

She then made wild passionate love to him herself after spanking him and screamed “Republic of Ukraine forever!” as she orgasmed in a massive outburst of cosmic energy from all that tantric sex forever.

Renfield R. Renfield meanwhile was on his smart phone checking on his order of a Japanese sex robot that he had ordered for himself for Christmas from Amazon.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 29th
2018.

Permalink 9 Comments

Sol Invictus Set Leaves Berlin For London November 28th 1938

November 28, 2018 at 11:57 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The London based wealthy Egyptian vampire and businessman Sol Invictus Set had spent the past week touring Berlin with Der Fuhrer Hitler’s personal architect Albert Speer.

Speer was telling Set all the exciting buildings and statues he planned to build when the city became Germania the capital of the world.

He even introduced Set to the Persian goddess Anahita who knew how to bring statues to life.

A rather obnoxious individual (in Set’s opinion) Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau kept following them around taking notes.

Thus preventing Set from having some private time to make out with her.

Anahita went flying back to Tehran yesterday November 27th.

So Set had no more reason to remain in Berlin.

He decided to fly back to London today.

There waiting for him on the airport tarmac and leaning on his plane’s wing was the Norse Germanic goddess Freya:

Later as the plane was flying back to London, the plane’s German co-pilot Werner Von Wagner remarked to his British co-pilot Albert Von Elgar, “It seems extra foggy over the channel today.”

“I think it’s because of what the Boss and Freya are currently doing in the single back passenger seat that’s fogging up the window,” Elgar replied.

“I wonder if Errol Flynn will be the actor they hire to play the Boss in a movie,” said Wagner as the plane landed in a lake in England’s Lake District so admired by William and Dorothy Wordsworth.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 28th
2018.

Permalink 4 Comments

Russia’s GRU Chief Dead- Who Is Responsible?

November 22, 2018 at 11:14 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Science, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Donald Trump was being briefed by the CIA while sitting in his briefs (and looking at photos of Shakira for nobody had bothered telling the Twitterer-In-Chief that she was in fact Colombian) on the death of Russia’s GRU (Military Intelligence Directorate) head Colonel General Igor Korobov.

“So he died from a long illness?” Trump asked.

“Well so the Russian media would have us believe,” said CIA agent and cyborg operative George Akirason as he cleared his throat of both phlegm and nanites, “but in fact Korobov only started feeling unwell back in mid-September after having received a severe reprimand from President Vladimir Putin.”

“And what brought about this reprimand?” Trump asked as he combed both seaweed and Black Sea caviar out of his toupee.

“Because Putin got what he thought was a welcome (but she turned out to be unwelcome) visitor in his bedroom one night,” George Akirason coughed a mixture of both phlegm and nanites into his Stormy Daniels photo emblazoned handkerchief, “a sensuous and lovely Kazakh Dragon Sister but she had a poison ivy laced dildo with her which she proceeded to shove up the Russian leader’s anus. She then stapled a note to Putin’s phallus which had on it a message that said, “You’ll never guess what’s going to happen next.” And the message was signed “R.R.R.” The GRU then conducted raids on the Kazakh Dragon Sister’s Moscow apartment but she had fled back to unknown locales in Kazakhstan. Howver the apartment contained several autographed posters of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.”

“Renfield R. Renfield?” The hair in Trump’s toupee stood on end 😨, “That man gives me nightmares for some reason.”

. . .

German Chancellor Angela Merkel was receiving a briefing from a leather skirted female dominatrix Malaysian agent for the German Federal Intelligence Service.

Chancellor Merkel was astounded by how much the woman looked like world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes.

The woman whose secret agent code name was Magic Mushrooms and Killer Tomatoes spoke, “Contrary to what the media is saying, Colonel General Igor Korobov did not die from his illness. He was found face down in his bathroom with both his pants and Rasputin photo emblazoned boxer shorts pulled down and a 20 pound giant banana (with the words THE MAPLE LEAF AND CANNABIS PLANT FOREVER written on it) shoved up his behind. The trauma of the impact was what killed him. A well known Kazakh Dragon Sister assassin was seen leaving his place.”

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting in his parliamentary office drinking brandy and smoking cigars with the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill.

“Well,” Renfield raised his glass in a toast, “another successful operation planned by the once and future Prime Ministers of Great Britain. And executed by our beloved Kazakh Dragon Sister secret operative.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 22nd
2018.

A Kazakh Dragon Sister with a love for all things British.

Permalink 10 Comments

More International Intrigue With International Goddesses In Berlin November 1938

November 21, 2018 at 11:57 pm (Entertainment, Espionage, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The Norse Valkyrie Kara being accosted by the London based multimillionaire ancient Egyptian vampire businessman Set on a Berlin street in November 1938

Outside the Berlin hotel room of the ancient Egyptian vampire Sol Invictus Set, Thor the Norse god of thunder watched in horror as the Norse goddess Freya tried to talk Set out of supporting Hitler.

Thor saw Set leave the hotel and go strolling through the streets of Berlin deep in thought.

Thor dropped his hammer Mjolnir on his big toe, cursed and realized he better do something quick.

What would his fellow beer drinking buddies and fellow deities Ares (the Greek god of war) and Morrigan (the Celtic goddess of war) say if the best laid plans of gods and goddesses (for war) went astray like the best laid plans of mice and men?

As Thor sat rubbing his toe and pondering his dilemma, a mouse ran down the street chasing a piece of cheese (being blown by the wind) and the cheese wound up under the kilt of a visiting Scottish bagpiper who was playing the song Auld Lang Syne on his bagpipes.

Thor decided to send the Valkyrie Kara in Set’s direction and seduce Set back into following Hitler.

Kara stepped from a cab on to the sidewalk right in front of Set and as Thor suspected he would, Set followed the swaying skirt of the seductive femme fatale Valkyrie Kara down the street.

Kara stopped on the steps of her apartment building and waited for Sol Invictus Set to catch up.

He approached the steps and looked at her longingly like a long lost puppy:

“Well, Mr. Sol Invictus Set,” Kara spoke in a sultry sensuous voice, “How would you like to come up to my place and I’ll show you my war plans and battle etchings?”.

Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler much to his personal embarrassment had a little trouble getting up to speed in the presence of Set’s niece Sekhmeta (who was really the Egyptian lion goddess Sekhmet as a Churchillian spy in disguise).

But such is the inherent personal shortcomings of many world leaders who try to make their country great again.

Sekhmeta suggested going down to the Doctor Faustus Cabaret where many of the top Nazi scientists hung out after hours.

Hitler agreed.

When they got there, Sekhmeta went backstage, put on a costume and performed on stage much to the delight of Der Fuhrer and the top Nazi scientists:

Franz Kohler of the Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau of the SS was standing in a Berlin art gallery looking at a painting of the Persian goddess Anahita:

“That painting looks like a combination of being both from the past and the future at the same time,” Franz Kohler thought to himself, “And that statue of a celestial entity behind the goddess Anahita seems to be actually coming to life.”

The next day Sekhmeta boarded a private plane at a private airport in Berlin:

She was carrying in her suitcase all the Nazi flying saucer plans she had obtained from drunken Nazi scientists.

Sekhmeta’s theft of the plans would set the Nazi flying saucer program back by several years.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 21st
2018.

Permalink 17 Comments

International Goddesses and International Intrigue In Berlin November 1938

November 20, 2018 at 10:51 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The London based multimillionaire businessman ancient Egyptian vampire Set was spending the Feast Day of Saint Edmund King and Martyr (an early medieval king of East Anglia who was slain by Vikings in 869 AD) in Berlin, Germany.

After a dinner meeting with the Fuhrer Adolf Hitler and the highest ranking members of his government, Set returned to his hotel room.

There sitting on top of the piano in his room was the Norse Germanic goddess Freya wearing an evening dress:

After leaving the dinner party, SS head Heinrich Himmler returned to his room.

He was embarrassed that Der Fuhrer had spent time showing the London businessman photos of Finns raking leaves in the forest near Der Fuhrer’s Bavarian chalet The Berghof at the Berchtesgaden.

A Berlin tarot card reader had told Der Fuhrer that Finns raking leaves in the forest was good for preventing forest fires.

Himmler felt embarrassed to tell Der Fuhrer that the tarot card reader and her pet red spider monkey as well as her wigmaker had just been arrested by the SS for being frauds.

As he opened the door to his bedroom, there sitting on his bed was the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet:

Hitler walked back to his bedroom.

He figured that he had had quite a successful meeting with London businessman Sol Invictus Set.

Der Furher thought Set would make an excellent Prime Minister for Britain when he had incorporated that island kingdom into his Reich four or five years down the road.

As Hitler opened the door, he was surprised to see a lovely girl waiting for him on the bed:

The girl was Set’s niece Sekhmeta (the lion goddess Sekhmet disguised as a teen-aged girl supposedly descended from Set’s nephew Horus).

Unbeknownst to both Hitler and Set, the girl was a spy for British MP Winston Churchill.

Hitler’s architect Albert Speer was finishing up in his office for the day.

He was walking through the lobby of the building where he worked when he encountered this woman:

The woman was the ancient Persian goddess Anahita.

“Herr Speer,” the Persian goddess addressed him as a tarot card reader, a red spider monkey and a wigmaker were lead out of the building in handcuffs by the SS, “if you would really like to become a speer of destiny like Longinus’ that pierced the side of Christ, how would you like to know the secret of making life like statues that would actually come to life in Der Fuhrer’s future New Berlin of Germania?.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 20th
2018.

Permalink 21 Comments

Sekhmet, Set and Bastet

November 17, 2018 at 11:57 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, Radio, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The year was 1938.

It was the month of November.

20 years earlier the Egyptian vampire Set’s tomb had been dug up in Egypt by Oxford trained Egyptologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury.

In fact, Set’s tomb had been opened at exactly 11 AM Greenwich Mean Time on November 11th 1918 (the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month- the same minute the Armistice ending the Great War came into effect).

Set now lived in London, England where he had amassed a fortune.

Set was also one of the world business oligarchs supporting Hitler.

Not because Set was a Nazi.

But because Set thought Hitler would destroy Stalin.

Set hated Stalin because Stalin had arranged the murder of Set’s mortal fiancee back in 1924.

Sir Winston Churchill knew that Sol Invictus Set (as the wealthy businessman Egyptian vampire called himself in London circles) supported Hitler.

Churchill happened to run into the Egyptian lion headed goddess Sekhmet in the Egyptology section of the British Museum library one evening.

Sekhmet agreed to spy on Set for Churchill.

The goddess turned herself into an Egyptian teen-aged girl calling herself Sekhmeta and showed up at Set’s doorstep claiming to be a distant descendant of Horus (who was Set’s nephew) thus making herself Set’s niece (a great great great x great niece several times over).

Set agreed to let Sekhmeta stay with him.

One night 80 years ago, Set caught Sekhmeta listening to American jazz and jive music on the radio instead of doing her homework.

Set promptly administered a spanking.

Rubbing her behind and reaching for a pillow, Sekhmeta said to Set, “I’ll get you for that, Uncle Set.”

“I’m sure you will,” Set laughed.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet was rising up behind an FBI agent and his girlfriend in a movie theatre to strike.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 17th
2018.

Permalink 4 Comments

Morgana, Donald Trump, Maitreya, Pan Goatee and John McCain

March 20, 2018 at 10:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Morgana, Donald Trump, Maitreya, Pan Goatee and John McCain

The Welsh Vampiress Morgana (MP for Newbridge in Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿) walked into this evening’s caucus meeting of the two person British Transhumanist Party Caucus.

She was wearing a black lace lingerie style mini dress, black silk fishnet pantyhose and black spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

Despite the 6 inch stilettos she was wearing she had a certain spring to her step on this first day of spring and was positively glowing.

“Well, this is the happiest I think I’ve ever seen you,” her parliamentary colleague Renfield R. Renfield commented.

“Oh probably,” she continued to sit there smiling in ecstasy.

“Now on item 1 on tonight’s agenda, do you think we should side with Theresa May or Jeremy Corbyn on this particular amendment?” Renfield asked.

“Have you ever read the Kama Sutra?” Morgana stared dreamily into space.

“Um, no, I haven’t,” Renfield answered.

Renfield looked at Morgana.

Why was she bringing up the Kama Sutra? Renfield wondered to himself.

. . .

Meanwhile Pan Goatee was on a rampage killing a whole bunch of ugly women.

“How dare you ruin the first day of spring by showing your ugly faces in public?” Pan Goatee exclaimed as he used his laser machete to decapitate them.

A golden cobra wearing a crown made of shamrocks watched the spectacle with some amusement.

“I have heard of this noble creature who can astral project,” the serpent called Maitreya mused aloud, “he is able to create an astral laser machete with his mind. Impressive.
And what impressive work he is doing. “

The snake looked around at the decapitated heads before regurgitating his Irish shepherd’s pie (made with real Irish shepherds), “But hard, what sight though yonder mirror breaks?”.

. . .

Donald Trump was telling Lexington his English butler and valet about the day he had.

“And of course I phoned my old buddy Vladimir to congratulate him on his landslide election victory,” Trump beamed beatifically like a vampiress exposed to the Kama Sutra.

“Of course I think Mr. Putin does get on some people’s nerves through his agents,” Lexington remarked knowing that the remark would be totally lost on a Twitter aficionado like Mr. Trump.

“I suppose,” Trump stared blankly into space.

On the television, Arizona Republican Senator John McCain could be heard saying, “An American President does not lead the free world by congratulating dictators on winning sham elections.”

Trump grimaced.

Then said bitterly, “Real heroes don’t criticize a God like me.”

Later Lexington put a plate of French fries 🍟 down in front of Trump.

“Wow, these fries are delicious 😋,” Trump grabbed the fries as enthusiastically as he would grab a porn star’s pussy, “what brand of fries are these?”.

“I’ll make sure to ask the chef for you, sir,” Lexington answered.

“Please do,” Trump got a fry caught in his toupee.

Lexington walked away smiling at his own private joke.

Because Lexington himself had prepared these fries.

From a bag of McCain French Fries.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 20th
2018.

Permalink 16 Comments

The Welsh Vampiress and The White Wolf

March 19, 2018 at 10:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Welsh Vampiress and The White Wolf

The Welsh Vampiress Morgana (also known as Morgana Fay Lee) the British Transhumanist MP for the Welsh constituency of Newbridge was walking the streets of London.

She was unable to find a cab this evening which was unusual for London.

And she did not feel like turning into a bat 🦇 and flying into tonight’s cold wind.

She was dressed in a turquoise coloured evening dress having attended a charity event reception earlier tonight.

As she walked down the street, she was followed by a man in dark clothing much like the attire said to have been worn by Jack the Ripper.

The man was a GRU (Russian Military Intelligence Service) agent who chose the outfit because he had an historical sense of humour (unlike Benny Hill with his hysterical sense of humour).

He carried a poisoned tip umbrella 🌂 containing a poison recently developed by FSB research scientist Dr. Nicht Werhoffen (originally of the East German Stasi).

Vladimir Putin had given the order for the assassination of Morgana.

For two reasons:

1): To test the new poison

2): To send a warning to her Transhumanist parliamentary colleague Renfield R. Renfield to tone down his anti-Putin rhetoric.

Unbeknownst to the GRU agent, he too was being followed.

By a white wolf with blue eyes.

The GRU agent was now only feet away from the Welsh Vampiress.

The white wolf howled.

Morgana quickly turned.

She jumped out of the way as the man lunged.

The umbrella stabbed him in the stomach as he fell.

“Merde,” was the last word of the GRU agent who was currently taking French lessons.

There would be one less student in the Foreign Languages school in Moscow next week.

The white wolf with blue eyes turned and vanished into the night.

Since the man spoke French with a Russian accent, Morgana deduced that he was probably a Russian agent out to assassinate her.

She didn’t know what effect lethal Russian weapons would have on vampiresses but she didn’t intend to stand around and find out.

She knew that Renfield’s friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had an apartment not far from here so she would hide there if he was home.

She rang the buzzer and Dracul answered.

He buzzed her up.

She ran up the stairs rather than take the elevator.

Dracul was standing outside his door in the hallway waiting for her to arrive.

He invited her in and closed the door.

On the other side of the hall, Dracul’s neighbour an elderly Scottish woman was peering through the keyhole of her apartment door and said to herself, “Probably another shameless hussy here to take Kama Sutra lessons.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 19th
2018.

Permalink 25 Comments

Next page »