Semi Rhyming Haiku About Poe’s The Pit and The Pendulum and Roger Corman Film With Vincent Price

April 19, 2018 at 10:34 pm (Film, Horror, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

Semi Rhyming Haiku About Poe’s The Pit and The Pendulum and Roger Corman Film With Vincent Price

Blade a real swinger
Will give your head a zinger
What a Price to pay

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Pan Goatee’s Dorian Gray Friday

March 30, 2018 at 9:45 pm (Aesthetics, Entertainment, Literature, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

Pan Goatee’s Dorian Gray Friday

Pan Goatee was not having a good Friday.

It seemed everywhere he turned, there was an ugly looking woman present.

He sat next to a beautiful looking woman on a commuter train and an ugly looking woman sat across from him.

He immediately decapitated the ugly looking woman with his astral laser machete.

From the look the beautiful looking woman gave him, he decided it might not be a good thing to ask her out on a date tonight like he was planning to do.

Damn how these ugly looking women always showed up to spoil any potential romantic encounters he might have.

These hideous daughters of Hecate had absolutely no consideration for others.

He took a seat further down the commuter train.

Another ugly looking woman boarded the commuter train at another station.

Pan Goatee immediately decapitated her.

“Nothing like frightening any potential tourists this city might have,” Pan Goatee said as he kicked the head down the aisle.

He then got off at the downtown station where he went to a Subway restaurant and was in the process of ordering a submarine sandwich when an ugly looking woman went up to the counter and asked for a packet of pepper.

“You ugly looking bitch,” Pan Goatee told off the obviously failed toad-human hybrid experiment, “why didn’t you remember to ask for pepper when you were first up here. Now you’ve thoroughly ruined my day by me having to look at your ugly looking face.”

Pan Goatee once again decapitated this particular failed degenerate abortion.

He then kicked the head down the floor, “There stick that in your pepper pipe and smoke it, bitch.”

A junkie smoking cracked cocaine at a table (and ignoring the place’s No Smoking 🚭 signs) said, “Wow, man. What’s your favourite work by Oscar Wilde?”.

“The Picture of Dorian Gray,” Pan replied.

“I thought it was Edgar Allan Poe who wrote that,” the man blinked like a neon sign on steroids.

“No, it was Wilde,” Goatee answered.

“Yeah, it must have been Wilde,” the man stared into space, “Really wild. What about the guy who wrote that poem about the ancient mariner who had that albatross around his neck that kept crying “Nevermore” when Pallas Athena knocked on Kublai Khan’s chamber door this other side of Xanadu because Donald Trump a wall he did decree.”

But Goatee like Elvis had already left the building.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 30th
2018.

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Encore of Cinderella: A Poem

March 24, 2018 at 9:10 pm (Arts, Culture, Film, Folklore, Literature, Movies) (, , , )

Here’s a poem I wrote 3 years ago today:

Dracul Van Helsing

Cinderella: A Poem

Cloudy gray skies
across the land lies
in truth for today
and in metaphor sad to say
it seems that magic is gone from the world
technology has spread unfurled
the sense of wonder has been lost
but we’re too busy to see the cost
dashing along the street
busy hands and busy feet
phones at our fingertips
speakers have replaced lips
“Love” and “courage” are only words
a flight of fancy like passing birds.
A unicorn- what is that?
Talk of fairies- we say scat!
For we’re all grown up you see
don’t talk to us as if we’re only 3.
That age is past!
Magic wands- get out fast!
Carriages don’t grow from pumpkins
you mistake us for country bumpkins.
Enchanted balls and glass slippers
we talk like drunken skippers
whose ships have crashed on the rocks
leaving us to haunt these docks.

And so…

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The City After Twilight: A Poem

February 25, 2018 at 11:06 pm (Detective story, Entertainment, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

The City 🌃 After Twilight: A Poem

And so the sun has set
tongue requires something wet
you head downtown to a nightspot
something cool to drink perhaps sex that’s hot

In the lounge cigarette smoke fills the air
the cushion is velvety at the back of the chair

You have martini 🍸 with a slice of lime
you ordered it for neither reason nor rhyme
you are the last of a kind- a private eye
accustomed to neon lights and starlit sky

The nighttime is your working day
clearing thugs and hooligans out of the way
They say the knights of old have come and gone
fairy tales told to child stifling a yawn
But for one such as yourself
a lance and steed might be on the shelf
but you have traded shining armour
for fedora and trench coat
an office with ceiling fan instead of castle with moat

But like those knights of old you walk alone
distress sounds not from blast of trumpets but from ring of phone
Those maidens in distress not in towers with long flowing hair
but walking the streets in heels
and tight skirts for wear

The dragons 🐉 today do not breathe fire
Instead they employ hit men for hire
And rulers turn not to ones like Merlin for advice
but lawyers, accountants and padded pockets on ice

You look at your watch and see that midnight 🕛 calls
your lunch hour is over served as the olive in your hour glass falls

You pick up your coat and head out the door
the streets and alleys call like the wild forests of yore.

-A private eye poem
written by Christopher
Sunday February 25th
2018.

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Haiku About King Agamemnon

February 8, 2018 at 10:01 pm (History, Literature, Mythology, Poetry) (, , , )

Haiku About King Agamemnon

Sacrificed daughter
so he could sack a city
slain on his return

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Happy Birthday, Sherrielock Holmes

January 6, 2018 at 9:18 pm (Detective story, Entertainment, History, Literature, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Happy Birthday, Sherrielock Holmes

The quite literally immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ lesser known twin sister) was turning 164 today.

Many years ago, Sherrielock had eaten some Lingzhi Supernatural mushrooms and become immortal.

Sherrielock was being taken out to dinner by her great grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

They arrived at the Avebury Arms Pub to sample their delicious 😋 steak and kidney pies.

Sherrielock was dressed in an elegant turquoise green evening dress.

“Tell me, Aunt Sherrielock, did you ever offer a plate of Lingzhi Supernatural mushrooms to great uncle Sherlock?” Cadbury was anxious to know.

“I did,” Sherrielock nodded, “but he refused. He longed to meet Irene Adler again.”

“So great uncle Sherlock did come to believe in an afterlife?” Cadbury inquired.

“He did,” Sherrielock sampled her steak and kidney pie, “Ummm, heaven.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 6th
2018.

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Sherry Valerie Hilles Gothic Exorcist Chronicles

December 17, 2017 at 9:39 pm (books, Horror, Literature, Mystery/horror, The Supernatural) (, , )

Sherry Valerie Hilles Gothic Exorcist Chronicles

A very dear friend of mine and fellow blogger Sherry Valerie Hilles has just published two novels on Amazon.

Volume One of her Gothic Exorcist Chronicles The Devil’s Promises has just been published in paperback:

And Volume Two of her Gothic Exorcist Chronicles The Fallen has just been published in Kindle:

Sherry Valerie Hilles is an amazing woman. A mother of 7 children, she still manages to find the time to write novels, write poetry, draw and paint 🎨 beautiful pictures as well as being a very talented amateur photographer.

Born and raised in the Malaysian province of Sarawak on the island of Borneo, she has a multi-cultural ancestral background- Malay, Iban (the Iban were the famous head hunters of Borneo in times past), Japanese and Chinese.

In her late teens, she left her homeland to study at England’s prestigious Cambridge University.

She now lives in the forests and mountains of Bavaria in southern Germany.

I can honestly say that Sherry is one of the smartest people I know having an immense knowledge of history and literature, music and opera, art and sculpture as well as Greek, Norse and Egyptian mythology.

You can read her beautiful poetry and insights into life at her regular WordPress blog here:

https://sherriedevaleriahendrie.wordpress.com/

Sherry also has a paranormal and ghost story blog (my friend Jan who has a ghost blog herself would probably be interested in this):

https://sherriedevaleriaparaghostories.wordpress.com/about/

Sherry’s tales of the supernatural are great at building up an atmosphere of terror in your immediate surroundings and her writing is so compelling and entrancing that whatever paranormal entity she is describing (be it ghost or demon), you get the absolutely chilling feeling that the entity being described is really and truly in the room with you.

So if you really want to scare yourself out of your wits (thus giving you the qualifications necessary to be President in contemporary America), read her two Gothic Exorcist novels alone in a darkened room with all the lights off and only a single candle burning.

These books would make great gifts for family or friends to have a scary Merry Christmas.

-A recommendation
written by Christopher
Sunday December 17th
2017.

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Charles Dickens and Christmas

November 24, 2017 at 8:24 pm (Commentary, Culture, History, Literature, Personal essays) (, , , )

Charles Dickens and Christmas

I was just reading a review of the released movie Charles Dickens: The Man Who Invented Christmas.

It looks like it will be quite a good film.

Although I think a more appropriate title would be Charles Dickens: The Man Who Re-Invented Christmas.

Because Christmas 🎄 was actually an important holiday in England and celebrated widely until the advent of Puritanism and Oliver Cromwell in the 17th Century.

The monarchy was restored to Britain in 1660 and although Stuart monarchs may have celebrated Christmas, it was a day no longer marked with much commemoration among the general populace.

Hanoverian England and the advent of the Industrial Revolution saw a further decline in the celebration of Christmas.

The idea of Christmas as a special day to celebrate with family and friends the birth of Christ appeared to be on the verge of dying out in England.

There were some inklings of a possible restoration of Christmas on the landscape.

Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha’s marriage to Queen Victoria in 1840 had led the Prince to bring German Lutheran Christmas customs with him to Buckingham Palace such as the idea of candles, lights and decorated Christmas 🎄 trees.

The High Church Anglo-Catholic priest and hymn writer John Mason Neale was also writing Christmas carols during this time period- Good Christian Men Rejoice, Good King Wenceslas and O Come O Come Emmanuel.

But it was a writer heavily in debt who self-published the book A Christmas Carol in 1843 who turned things around.

Mr. Charles Dickens.

His collection of characters in that work – Ebenezer Scrooge, Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim- have become immortal in themselves.

The ghosts of Christmas past, present and future as well as the ghost of Jacob Marley are probably the most famous ghosts in all English literature.

Dickens’ work would greatly influence the modern Western celebration of Christmas such as family gatherings, seasonal food and drink, parties, dancing, games and a festive generosity of spirit.

All things now associated with Christmas.

In that sense, Dickens did invent Christmas.

But the idea of family Christmas celebrations and Ebenezer Scrooge’s redemption would not have been possible without the Birth of a certain Babe in a manger in Bethlehem 2000 years ago.

Puritan sourpusses such as Oliver Cromwell might have wanted to do away with celebrating Christmas.

The Industrial Revolution with its denial of the essential dignity and self-worth of the individual human person might try to kill the concept of humanity being created in God’s image.

Machines might be seen as capable of replacing a human work force.

And technology might be seen as capable of replacing God.

But for Dickens, the realm of the Spirit was very much alive.

It has been said that “the (Holy) Spirit moveth us in sundry times and places”.

In London in 1843, Charles Dickens felt moved in spirit.

And gave us his masterpiece novella A Christmas Carol.

The celebration of Christ’s birth in the world was not to be denied to humanity.

Today Christmas has turned into an orgy of shopping and commercialization.

The focus has become “What am I getting for Christmas?”.

It is the hidden gift under wrapping that has become the focus of most attention on Christmas morn rather than the Godhead become openly manifest in human flesh.

It looks like the world could use another Charles Dickens to come and remind us what Christmas is truly all about.

-A personal essay
written by Christopher
Friday November 24th
2017.

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The 2nd Anniversary of Sherrielock Holmes’ Appearance On The World Stage

November 23, 2017 at 4:55 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, Mystery, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

The 2nd Anniversary of Sherrielock Holmes’ Appearance On The World Stage

It was apparently 2 years ago today that I first introduced the character of Sherrielock Holmes on to the world stage.

The London dominatrix who’s the lesser known twin sister of the great London consulting detective Sherlock Holmes.

The London dominatrix who once ate a Lingzhi supernatural mushroom and is now immortal as a result.

Here’s the blog post from 2 years ago where I introduced the character of Sherrielock Holmes to the world:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2015/11/23/sherrielock-holmes/

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Haiku About Autumn 🍂

September 28, 2017 at 5:30 pm (Art, Arts, Literature, Nature, Poetry) (, , , )

Haiku About Autumn 🍂

That time when the trees
wear coats of many colours
a fall fashion show

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