Preparing For A Regency Era Ball: From Jane Austen To Sanditon

May 17, 2023 at 9:50 pm (History, Literature, love, Poetry, Romance) (, , , , , , , , , )

A country rectory in rural England
Of the early 19th Century
While the Prince of Pleasure
Held his regency at London court

There far from the battlefield scars
Of the continent
That paid the price
For Napoleon’s ambition
England herself
Was at peace.

This sceptred isle
This other Eden
This earth
This realm
This England

Thanks to Nelson’s Navy
And Wellington’s troops
This seat of Mars sees no martial strife itself
While young John stands in basement kitchen
Looking gaunt
Upstairs Jane
Miss Austen
Gets ready for the grand ball
On nearby country estate

Jane Austen a woman with imagination that dazzles
These grand balls inspire her vision
From a great mind
A passionate heart 💜
And a sensitive soul
Many a great tale would spring forth
And bud and bloom like
The English countryside
In the month of May

Over two centuries later
Her stories still inspire
And even her unfinished tales
Create unforgettable masterpieces
And love stories
That will dazzle for all time.

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday May 17th 2023.

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Jane Austen Encounters Dracul Van Helsing Again

May 11, 2023 at 9:53 pm (Culture, Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Literature, love, Romance, Science, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing talks to noted British author Jane Austen in an English country garden as the pair sit on a bench outside an English country cottage

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was taking a walk along a country path in that part of England associated with noted Regency era author Jane Austen.

The sky suddenly shifted from an extremely bright sunny one to a more cloudy but nevertheless pleasant looking evening anticipating the coming of a gentle rain.

Almost as if Dracul Van Helsing had encountered a vortex in time and had gone either forward or backward in time.

Suddenly Dracul Van Helsing recognized author Jane Austen wearing a pale lilac coloured nightgown and sitting on a bench in an English country garden outside an English country cottage.

Van Helsing had recently travelled back in time and had encountered a 28-year-old Jane Austen back in the spring of 1804.

“Hello, Mr. Van Helsing,” Jane smiled.

“Good evening, Miss Austen,” Dracul answered back.

The vampire hunter deduced that he must have again travelled back to the spring of 1804 when Jane Austen would have been 28.

Van Helsing sat down next to Jane Austen and the pair once again discussed art, literature, philosophy and life.

Jane asked Dracul about his strange looking modern attire.

“The period in which I come from has even stranger looking attire,” Van Helsing explained, “I live in an age where men think they’re women and women think they’re men.”

“My God,” Jane gasped.

“The age in which I live has the consciousness of the Void,” Dracul explained, “The inmates have taken over the asylum in my time and sanity and truth are regarded as crimes against the state and crimes against humanity.”

“Is there nothing good about your time?” Jane asked.

“Only when they make movies or TV series based on your books whether finished or unfinished,” Dracul replied.

Sanditon: A British TV series based on an unfinished novel by Jane Austen and the only good thing about the entire decade of the 2020s so far in Dracul Van Helsing’s opinion

“Nothing else good about the decade in which you’re currently living?” Jane inquired.

“Well, a friend of mine has developed computer software to help people with dyslexia,” Van Helsing answered.

Jane Austen had never heard of dyslexia.

Van Helsing explained that in the year 1877 the reading and spelling difficulties characteristic of dyslexia were first identified by Adolph Kussmaul a German professor of medicine.

His friend with dyslexia Timothy Wood was considered mentally disabled as a child and they wouldn’t let him enter the school system.

His grandmother however taught him to read using the King James Bible, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare and the novels of Sir Walter Scott.

Timothy Wood had once written a Jane Austen style Regency novel called The Sterley’s of Oakland Park which is available at

“My favourite line from the book,” Dracul recalled, “was about a woman whose cooking was so bad that it was said of her that if she had been a cook in Britain’s Royal Navy, she’d have been the most formidable weapon in Napoleon’s arsenal.”

“Sounds like a line I could have written,” Jane Austen laughed.

“It does,” Dracul agreed.

The dyslexia software that Timothy Wood developed is available at

Back in the year 2023, the former DARPA operative code named Hyperion Sturm has been brought back to DARPA to help out with a project he had developed.

The project was called Jefferey the Otter.

Jefferey was an actual otter that Hyperion Sturm had taught how to read and write.

Jefferey was used to read and translate (for he had been taught a dozen different languages) intelligence agency documents from all over the world.

Jefferey had two problems however.

He was dyslexic.

And he was an alcoholic.

Now thanks to Timothy Wood’s computer software for dyslexics (which is available at ) , Jefferey the Otter no longer has problems reading.

As for his alcoholism, well the otter had better join Alcoholics Anonymous.

Hyperion Sturm was brought to DARPA Headquarters for Jefferey the Otter had vanished.

Hyperion later found him in a strip bar drinking Green Minnow Beer alongside the great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg who was drinking Ernest Hemingway’s own invented cocktail called Death In The Afternoon (which was a mix of Champagne and absinthe).

“I prefer these to Dr. Anthony Fauci’s vaccine booster shots if I have to go,” Finneganburg explained.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 11th

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The Storm Cloud of T-Rex Kubla

May 4, 2023 at 8:05 pm (Poetry, Mystery/horror, Horror, The Supernatural, News, Literature, Nature, Mythology) (, , , , )

Oh sing not of Xanadu and Kubla Khan’s decree
Or how Alph the sacred river ran down to sunless sea
For on desert highway between darkened hills
Was bloodcurdling sight sending chills

It was the storm cloud of T-Rex 🦖 Kubla
With thunder louder than orchestral tuba
At the bottom on the horizon
In seeming triumph over earthly Zion
Was red spectral T-Rex with open mouth
Its jaws wide open to engulf the south

And springing from forehead like Zeus birthing Athena
Was a sight more dreadful than a screaming hyena
A purple hare sprouting wings
A beast of whom not the Walrus sings

From its rabbity back emerged a gigantic brain
Made of broccoli 🥦 and cauliflower and no gentle rain
From the vegan brain so deranged emerged a silvery serpent slithering north
Making sure all hope hath gone off course to the mouth of a giant horse

From the silvery serpent’s back emerged tsunami waves frozen like giant droplets of ice
As if the artist Hokusai had to pay the fierce Niflheim frost giants’ price

Oh where is Arirang mountain with its peaks of hope
Providing inspiration for which humanity is to strive and grope
The storm cloud of T-Rex Kubla leaves death and destruction in its wake
An Ouroboros circle taking another geometric shape
Causing man, beast and earth to shake and quake.

-A Poe/Lovecraftian horror poem
Written by Christopher
Thursday May 4th

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Jane Austen Meets Dracul Van Helsing

May 1, 2023 at 9:48 pm (Arts, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, love, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Writer Jane Austen on a warm spring day

It was a warm spring day and Jane Austen was doing some sketching before applying watercolours.

Within a few seconds Jane noticed a man appearing out of nowhere on the stone walkabout around the lake.

The man was Dracul Van Helsing time traveller from the future.

Van Helsing had recently been watching Sanditon (a British television series based on Jane Austen’s unfinished novel) on PBS via satellite.

He was also a big fan of Austen’s novels Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion and Emma.

After having watched Tom Jones the new British drama on PBS’ Masterpiece Theatre (based on Henry Fielding’s classic 1749 novel) last night, Van Helsing reflected on the state of the world in the dystopian 2020s.

He had a further discussion with the ghost of Orson Welles on the subject this morning and decided to take the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Prototype Film 🎞️ Projector (an instrument of time travel) to England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 in the year 1804 when Jane Austen would have been 28.

Van Helsing pushed a button on the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Prototype Film Projector and vanished into the mists of time.

Welles’ ghost was immediately worried that the charming sex addict Van Helsing might thoroughly charm Jane Austen and Jane Austen succumbing to his charms would end up being deflowered.

For Van Helsing had had his way with many beautiful goddesses and vampiresses although of course you couldn’t accuse Van Helsing of deflowering any of them like Hera, Aphrodite and Isis for instance although he had deflowered the virgin goddesses Athena and Artemis (which ticked their father Zeus off to no end).

The ghost of Orson Welles quickly hurried to Set Enterprises’ Laboratories where Set Enterprises’ Chief Scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was working.

Rocher had made a small replica of the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Prototype Film Projector 🎞️.

Welles borrowed the replica from Rocher, pushed a button on it and went back in time to the exact date and place where Dracul Van Helsing was hoping to encounter Jane Austen.

. . .

King Charles III, who was busy preparing for his coronation this coming Saturday, was also reading a report on what had transpired in Vienna yesterday.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield, who was holidaying in Vienna after co-chairing a secret conference of peace talks between Russia 🇷🇺 and Ukraine 🇺🇦, had been involved in a shoot out with American Deep State operatives yesterday.

Renfield of course had been involved in shoot outs with numerous American Deep State operatives while the conference was going on.

The directors of the American Deep State were horrified that someone had actually taken out many of their operatives.

Just like the directors of the American Deep State were horrified that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. had announced that he was running for the U.S. Democratic Party nomination against their puppet Joe Biden.

They heard from a little bird (a canary that was a cocaine addict and owned by Hunter Biden) that Renfield would be leaving Vienna for London yesterday.

So the American Deep State resolved to ambush Renfield on the streets of Vienna as he took a taxi from his hotel to the airport.

666 American Deep State operatives were dispatched for the operation.

And the end result was that 666 American Deep State operatives now lay dead on the streets of Vienna.

“Vienna is like a shooting gallery,” Dr. Henry Kissinger remarked as he watched the operation on YouTube livestream.

As for the 666 dead American Deep State operatives, as a result of Joe Biden’s gender inclusion and diversity policies, they were all men wearing dresses, make up and high heels.

. . .

“Our nation’s public libraries are now deprived of an enormous amount of storybook readers for children,” Joe Biden had tears in his eyes as he looked at the photos of the dead American Deep State operatives on the streets of Vienna.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was back home in London and was currently being interviewed on Livestream by truly traditional Catholic media podcaster Taylor Marshall from the U.S.

Renfield was wearing a t-shirt that said I’D RATHER BE A KEYBOARD WARRIOR THAN A KEYBOARD PANSY.

The quote was in answer to an idiotic statement made by satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) a few weeks ago.

Of course Bergoglio has a habit of making nothing but idiotic statements (which is why he is acclaimed as a genius by globalist elitists and the brainless mainstream media) so researchers had some difficulty tracking down the original idiotic quote.

On his plane ride back from Hungary 🇭🇺 to Rome yesterday, Bergoglio was trying to take credit for the recent Vienna secret conference of Russian-Ukrainian peace talks.

Even though Samhain Cardinal Salaman (who happened to be the sole heterosexual administrator in Pope Francis’ Vatican) had started the talks without Francis’ consent.

. . .

The ghost of Orson Welles found Dracul Van Helsing with his head on the lap of Jane Austen.

No longer did Jane Austen have a sketch pad on her lap.

As in the above picture.

Instead it was Dracul Van Helsing who was having his forehead stroked by Miss Austen.

Welles’ ghost had a large rolling pin in hand ready to hit Van Helsing over the head should he make an attempt to deflower Miss Austen.

But he did not.

Instead they had a long and witty conversation.

With deep penetrating insight into art, literature and philosophy.

Finally Jane Austen said, “I must return home. My father, sister and brothers are expecting me for dinner.”

Van Helsing helped her gather up her sketch pad, watercolours and paint brushes.

Jane Austen walked off into the forest.

Welles’ ghost went forward in time before Van Helsing had a chance to see him.

When Welles’ ghost returned, Amadeus Emanon asked him, “So who is Dracul Van Helsing like in relation to Jane Austen? Alexander Colbourne? Or Sir Edward Denham?”.

Welles’ ghost lit a cigar, poured himself a glass of wine 🍷 and took a long pause before answering the question.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 1st

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April 27, 2023 at 10:15 pm (Art, Arts, Commentary, Culture, Entertainment, Film, History, Literature, love, Movies, Personal essays, Romance, Television) (, , , , , , )

Sanditon is my favourite TV series of the past 3 years.

And if I had to give it some extra thought, I would probably come to the conclusion that it’s my favourite TV series of all time.

I’ve always had a thing for British Regency romance novels.

And for Jane Austen in particular.

Jane Austen being one of my top 5 favourite authors (the other 4 being William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Fyodor Dostoevsky and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle).

I first stumbled upon Sanditon a couple of years ago when someone posted the 6 episodes of Season 1 in English with German subtitles on YouTube (they’ve long since been removed).

From the pictures, they looked to be Regency dress and costumes.

So I clicked on Season 1 Episode 1 and started watching.

With the credits in German and no subtitles for the credits, I didn’t pay much attention.

But as I watched the show, the dialogue struck me and I thought this dialogue could easily have been written by Jane Austen.

For even though I was a big Jane Austen fan, I had never heard of her unfinished novel Sanditon.

And my father (who was a Public School History and Science teacher for over 30 years) and was a big Jane Austen fan had never mentioned Sanditon in his many discussions on her.

It was also from my dad that I inherited my love of Dickens and Shakespeare.

I developed my love for Dostoevsky after having received a book of Dostoevsky short stories from my Grade 12 Creative Writing teacher for getting the top marks in her Creative Writing class.

She had written an inscription in the book that my short stories that I had written reminded her of Dostoevsky’s short stories so that’s why she was buying me this book.

I had heard of many of Dostoevsky’s novels but I had never read any of his short stories at the time I was presented with that book.

I had read Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov in its entirety when I was just 14 years old (after having seen on late night television a movie version of it from the 1950s that starred Yul Brynner as Dmitri Karamazov).

And I inherited my love for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle when I read a children’s book edition of The Hound of the Baskervilles when I was just 8 years old and have been a big Sherlock Holmes fan ever since.

It was sometime after watching that YouTube series with English dialogue and German subtitles that I read that the series Sanditon was based on an unfinished novel by Jane Austen.

Well that explains how the dialogue in the series reminded me so much of Jane Austen I thought.

Last year I found myself in the middle of a move.

When the trailer I was renting a room in was sold by the landlord.

After about a month (during which time I stayed with a friend), I finally found a new place.

The landlady was a sympathetic woman who took sympathy in my plight as a struggling author and bought me a television set and hooked me up to the house’s cable.

Sadly she separated from the landlord last summer.

The landlord is a bit of a dipstick or a lot of a dipstick as he stepped on my android tablet last October thoroughly ruining the keyboard on it and never offered to replace it.

A friend of mine bought me a new iPad 15 Pro this past February so now I can once again do a lot more writing.

I got my new TV from my then landlady in mid-March of 2022.

One night after discovering I got both PBS Detroit and PBS Spokane on it, I tuned in one Sunday night and discovered Season 2 of Sanditon.

It was about halfway through the season when I started watching.

Half way through the episode I made the brilliant Sherlockian deduction that Sidney Parker must have died.

Which turned out to be correct.

However I found the figure of Alexander Colbourne a lot more intriguing than Sidney Parker.

Alexander Colbourne reminded me of a far better looking version of Orson Welles’ portrayal of Edward Rochester in the 1943 film Jane Eyre (based on the Charlotte Brontë novel).

Ben Lloyd-Hughes’ portrayal of Alexander Colbourne has all the existential angst of Welles’ portrayal of Edward Rochester in Jane Eyre but is far better looking than Welles (as is to be expected from a Jane Austen hero).

This is not to take anything away from Orson Welles who is one of my film idols.

He had an outstanding intellect and was a great director and screenplay writer.

I also have the ghost of Orson Welles appearing as a character in my vampire novel (having been dispensationally released from Purgatory by Hades the Greek god of the Underworld).

Of course not having the sexual orientation of Truman Capote or Gore Vidal, I didn’t start becoming a big fan of Sanditon because of Ben Lloyd-Hughes’ portrayal of Alexander Colbourne.

It was Rose Williams’ portrayal of Charlotte Heywood and Crystal Clarke’s portrayal of Georgiana Lambe that drew me in.

I’m not going to reveal any spoilers in my review here.

I will mention some of the very humorous dialogue:

Charlotte Heywood: Your niece Augusta thinks that you regard her as an intolerable burden to you.

Alexander Colbourne: Those were her exact words?

Charlotte Heywood: Well they were in French but yes.

And in the scene where the clergyman is giving a wedding rehearsal for Lady Denham and Rowleigh Price (an elderly couple getting married), the vicar says, “And in my sermon when I talk on conjugal relations, I shall point out that the world conjugal comes from the Latin word meaning ‘to yoke’…” to which Lady Denham responds, “You most certainly will not.”

The TV series Sanditon had excellent cinematography.

I would watch each episode 3 or 4 times on a Sunday night.

The two times it was shown on PBS Detroit and then the two times it was shown on PBS Spokane.

One of the stations had it on a third time early Monday morning but which I watched with the volume on Mute so as not to disturb my roommates in the house.

It was with the sound off (but knowing what the dialogue was having watched it twice before) that I truly appreciated the cinematography.

Episode 5 of Season 3 was a cinematic masterpiece.

Each scene one of the characters was in light and the other character was in semi-darkness within the same scene.

Save towards the final scenes when both characters were in the light.

A true cinematic masterpiece.

And the entire production of Sanditon was a masterpiece.

I’m usually leery of someone trying to finish a great author’s unfinished work because it invariably isn’t up to par with the author’s excellence of style.

But the makers and the cast of Sanditon succeeded.

They created a masterpiece.

Jane Austen was a great woman and a great author.

She deserves nothing less.

-A personal commentary
and review
Written by Christopher
Thursday April 27th

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Zelda In Vienna

April 26, 2023 at 10:26 pm (Arts, Culture, Ghost Story, History, Literature, love, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

A woman sitting on a piano in Vienna

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was on a sightseeing holiday in Vienna after being involved in a secret conference to try to negotiate peace between Russia and Ukraine.

He was sitting in the elegant lobby of his hotel smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of bourbon.

“I congratulate you on your excellent choice of drink, sir,” said the white bearded man sitting across from him.

Renfield looked up and recognized the gentleman sitting across from him from seeing his image in old LIFE Magazine photos.

“Aren’t you Ernest Hemingway?” Renfield asked.

“I am the ghost of Ernest Hemingway,” the spectre announced, “condemned for a certain term to walk the night and watch other people smoke cigars and drink bourbon in hotel lobbies across the world, and for the day confined to fast in fires until the foul crimes done in my days of nature are burnt and purged away.”

“And what do you find worst?” Renfield blew smoke rings with his cigar and sipped his glass of bourbon.

“That’s not a fair question,” Hemingway looked enviously at the cigar in Renfield’s right hand and his glass of bourbon in his left.

“On this occasion fair is indeed foul,” Renfield commented as a waiter put a plate of barbecued chicken on the table next to him.

Renfield and Hemingway discussed literature as the MP ate his barbecue chicken.

When Renfield had finished and the waiter took the plate away, the bell 🔔 on the old clock in the lobby tolled.

“Ask not for whom the bell tolls,” Hemingway noted, “It tolls for thee.”

“Yes, but can you say that in Latin?” Quipped the ghost of John Donne as he walked by.

Hemingway looked downcast.

“No need to worry, Hemingway old boy,” Renfield smiled, “The current occupant of the throne of Peter can’t say it in Latin either.”

Hemingway smiled, “Did you see my friends F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda?”.

“Are their ghosts here?” Renfield finished his cigar and bourbon.

“I think it’s their mortal selves,” Hemingway answered, “The ghost of a ghost white salamander told me that the mortal selves of Scott and Zelda travelled here in some sort of time travel experiment after they met Nikola Tesla on some occasion back in the 1920s.”

“Where are F. Scott and Zelda?” Renfield asked.

“In the hotel’s piano room over there,” Hemingway pointed.

Renfield walked over to the piano room.

He stepped over Billy Joel who was lying on the floor singing, “Sing me a song, I’m the piano man…”

And there sitting on a piano covered with drinks (that were drank by Billy Joel as a mortal F. Scott Fitzgerald looked on enviously) was Zelda Fitzgerald.

“Great Gatsby!” Renfield shouted, “It’s Zelda Fitzgerald.”

Former Irish ☘️ Rover Will Millar walked by singing, “I’ll give you a daisy a day, dear…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 26th

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Snow White: A Poem

April 17, 2023 at 9:06 pm (Literature, Poetry) ()

Among the roses 🌹 🥀 in the forest 🌳
Was Snow White
Gentle and beautiful
The Royal Hunter
Could not bring himself to slay Snow White
So slew a deer 🦌 instead
And brought its heart back to the Evil Queen

The mirror cracked
The Evil Queen was dead
And Snow White could live her life
Without dread.

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday April 17th

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The Phantom Within

March 27, 2023 at 9:37 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, History, International Intrigue, Literature, love, Music, Musicals, Romance, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Christine Daae (center) with the Phantom (left) and Viscount Raoul (right)

In the files of MI6, his code name was Diablos Nocturna.

He sat in a pub in London eating steak and kidney pie 🥧.

A very very very beautiful woman entered the pub for a take out order.

She paid the bill and left with her order.

Diablos Nocturna recognized the woman as Lucy St. Louis the woman who played Christine Daae in the 35th Anniversary West End London production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of The Opera.

Lucy St. Louis as Christine Daae in the 35th Anniversary West End London production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of The Opera

Diablos Nocturna took a quiet sip of his glass of ale 🍺.

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of The Opera was his favourite musical and Lucy St. Louis was his favourite Christine Daae.

There had been great singers/actresses who had played Christine Daae in Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of The Opera over the years- Sarah Brightman, Emmy Rossum, Sierra Boggess.

Yet when he saw Lucy St. Louis as Christine Daae, he had said, “That is Christine.”

He had never understood why.

Then one day he had watched a YouTube video of Lucy St. Louis as Christine Daae singing with the Phantom the title song Phantom of The Opera and in the comments below the video, someone had posted the comment, “Lucy St. Louis sings the role of Christine Daae the way I had always imagined in my mind the way Christine Daae would have sung in Gaston Leroux’s original novel The Phantom of The Opera.”

And that was it.

Not many people had read Gaston Leroux’s The Phantom of The Opera but he had.

In fact he had read it when he was 10 years old.

With the impressionability of someone that age.

And it wasn’t the character of The Phantom who had captivated him.

It was the character of Christine Daae.

The character who could have tamed the Phantom if the Phantom had got over his insecurities and allowed her.

For Diablos Nocturna’s entire inner life seemed to have been a battle between the Phantom within and the Viscount Raoul within.

Which one would win?

He did not know the answer.

For he had yet to meet his Christine Daae in life.

Diablos Nocturna finished his meal, paid his bill and walked out alone into the night.

The labyrinth of night.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 27th

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Morgana On An Early March Evening

March 3, 2023 at 10:48 pm (Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Literature, love, magic, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Welsh Vampiress Morgana in a forest on an early March evening

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was wandering through an English forest on an early March evening.

He had a crossbow in hand and a bunch of silver arrows in a pouch on his back.

There were reports of a demonically possessed elk in the forest.

The elk had apparently been given to Justin Welby the ArchHeretic of Sodom and Gomorrah (although his official title was Archbishop of Canterbury) by Joe Biden’s cabinet for his efforts in getting Baphomet approved Alphabet Soup Community sexual practices accepted by the Church of England and the global Anglican Community.

The elk was an animal now extinct in Britain.

So Biden’s cabinet thought that putting an a-sexual non-binary gender confused elk from the U.S. Democratic Party stronghold state of Colorado into the British Isles as a gift to ArchHeretic Welby would somehow magically replenish the elk population.

When ArchHeretic Welby was presented the gift by gender confused Rachel Somebody Or Other (an Assistant Secretary of Something or Other in Biden’s cabinet), the elk had a cassette tape recorder around his/her/its neck which when you pushed a button on it, a voice came on that said, “I’m Joe Biden and I approve this present 🎁.”

The elk had apparently become demonically possessed after using a Ouija board to swear its allegiance to the demon Baphomet.

It had escaped from Welby’s country ecclesial episcopal palace and was now terrorizing native British deer 🦌 in a nearby forest.

After consulting a rare volume on Demonic Possession of Animals written by the Rev. Father Montague Summers, the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds (who was Amadeus Emanon’s parish priest and Vicar) had told Dracul Van Helsing that the only way to rid the world of a demonically possessed elk was to kill it with a silver arrow.

So Van Helsing was now going through the forest with his crossbow and silver arrows when he came upon this sight:

Van Helsing put down his crossbow and silver arrows and proceeded to climb the fallen tree and make out with the Welsh Vampiress Morgana (who was a member of the British Parliament from the constituency of Newbridge In Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 and a British Arthurian Party parliamentary colleague of British MP Renfield R. Renfield who represented Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds).

As Van Helsing and Morgana made wild passionate love on the fallen tree, the demonically possessed elk walked by.

The elk used its antlers (thus indicating that the elk was a biologically born male who only became gender confused after attending U.S. Democratic Party sessions on the party’s future wildlife strategy) to attack a possible candidate for the future leadership of the Scottish Nationalist Party.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 3rd

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Waiting For Aragorn

January 18, 2023 at 9:28 pm (haiku, Literature, Poetry) (, , , )

  • Light falls across land
  • Sauron’s darkness dissi₱ates
  • Aragorn returns

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