Reblog of The Poem Calcutta in Solitude

October 21, 2018 at 10:23 pm (Culture, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , )

A truly poetic masterpiece about a great city written by Nada a great poetess from India.

FICTION

Calcutta in solitude,
Like an old postcard
From the Colonial
Fresh Ink over the old testament
Old,
Precious,
Dipped in the holy sweetness of joy.
Uncanny sometimes,
Like Coffee Stains and lies.
The old holy chimes
Freshly painted lies,
First editions
New lighters,
New books, and
Chai.

Calcutta, oh Calcutta,
You have had me the first time.
I saw you through my momma’s eyes
In her memories
In her childhood times.
I see the places she talked about
The food
The history of her time.
I see the mysteries
And literature,
I see art,
The nostalgia of her lullaby.

I found my soul sister
I bribed her with chocolate shakes,
Laughed and drank all night.

I have made friends,
I found love
In the end.
I wore his t-shirt to weep,
To make love to him…
To feel him
To miss him in solitude.
He came from another city
To…

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Wilkie The Cat As The Shadow: A Poem

October 18, 2018 at 9:26 pm (Comedy, Culture, Humour, Literature, Plays, Poetry, theatre, Theatre Arts) (, , , , , , , , )

Wilkie considered himself the Big Apple’s NYC leading thespian
When he told people what he did, they thought he said lesbian
but thespian was the Shakespearean term for actor
not a bull dyke riding one Hell of a tractor

Now Wilkie was a feline by species
one whose litter box was full of feces
Wilkie naturally thought of himself as a cool cat
when he played James Cagney saying, “You dirty rat.”
Now the lovely French cat Mitzi was the love of his life
he longed to make la belle mademoiselle his beloved wife
but the Parisienne Pussy (so called by President Macron) wanted no such strife
for her current single state now was such a delightful life

Now it came to pass that a big Broadway producer
when he encountered a #MeToo woman, he did goose her
now he was in disgraced exile
Alyssa Milano’s Wiccan spells cast on him by the pile
only Bret Kavanaugh’s pile of hexes was much longer
as Hillary made a voodoo doll of Bill and his donger

Now it so happened that Wilkie had several incriminating photos
of the producer seducing starlets in one of his chateaux
so Wilkie blackmailed the producer from Park Avenue
who forced gruesome things on the young nubile Frou Frou La Rue
and made him finance Wilkie’s new play
a heavy price the theatrical big wig had to pay
for wanting to engage in getting a lay
in such a very strange, awkward and peculiar way

Wilkie wanted to do a stage version of that old radio play The Shadow
that showed Man About Town Lamont Cranston always on the go
The Shadow’s object of affection was one Margo Lane
to organized crime, Lamont Cranston was a first rate pain

So once again a Wilkie directed Broadway stage play came to pass
Theatre critics went to the play expecting the feline to again make himself an ass
and Wilkie certainly did not let them down
The Broadway disaster was the talk of the town

Wilkie playing Cranston opened the play with The Shadow’s opening line,
“Who knows what…” and there was a sudden pause,
as Wilkie held to his head his feline claws
for the catty thespian had forgotten his lines
to say nothing of not paying library card fines
He was recognized by a librarian sitting in the audience
who leapt on stage like a secret agent of a Saudi Crown Prince incensed
Mitzi leapt into action with her parasol to prevent Wilkie being dismembered on the spot
and Trump’s future defense of petulant librarians was such poppycock
the aftereffects of a urine coloured toupee causing a brain to rot

The play’s opening moments were its very last
petulant librarian got a parasol up the ass
and Wilkie’s earlier pork and beans dinner produced much gas
and the pervert producer’s line of credit did not come to pass
for he committed hari kari permanently ending his tendency to harass

So now the time has come to say to one and all, Good night
as for The Shadow playing a 2nd night, theatre owner told Wilkie to go fly a kite.

-A Wilkie The Cat poem
written by Christopher
Thursday October 17th
2018.

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A Renfieldian Haiku For Ariana Grande

October 17, 2018 at 10:50 pm (Arts, Literature, Poetry, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , )

A Renfieldian Haiku For Ariana Grande

“What are you looking so pleased about?” Amadeus Emanon asked his friend Renfield R. Renfield MP.

“Ariana Grande broke up with her boyfriend Pete Davidson,” Renfield grinned from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat, “so now I’ll be able to ask her out on a date.”

“Didn’t she call you a pervert the last time you talked to her on the phone?” Amadeus asked.

“She did,” Renfield nodded, “but I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. I’ve written her a haiku.”

Renfield’s Haiku For Ariana Grande

Dear Ariana
Your breasts are quite safe with me
Love from your Renfield

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 17th
2018.

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Reblog of La Coco Mojo Trobada

October 14, 2018 at 10:46 pm (Folklore, Literature, Mythology, Poetry, The Occult, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , )

David Redpath makes it with a succubus who’s a daughter of Cernunnos the Horned God in Celtic mythology.

As Pope Francis might put it, you can’t keep a good Stang down.

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Sherlock Holmes and Jack The Ripper: A Haiku

August 28, 2018 at 10:37 pm (Crime, Culture, Detective story, History, Literature, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Poetry) (, , , )

Sherlock Holmes and Jack The Ripper: A Haiku

Holmes had Jack in lab
electrocuted him because
The courts would acquit

When you’re as important in society as Jack was, the Old Bailey would never convict.

So Sherlock Holmes took matters in his own hand.

Years later, Nikola Tesla would re-enact Holmes’ test for his friend Mark Twain.
But without using a living subject like the great British detective did.

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Reblog of Edgar Allan Poe: Swinging Like A Pendulum Do

August 26, 2018 at 8:27 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, History, Horror, Literature, Movies, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Short stories, Short Story, Television, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Here’s a short story I wrote almost 2 years ago.

It’s a short story featuring the late great TCM Turner Classic Movies host Robert Osborne:

Dracul Van Helsing

Edgar Allan Poe: Swinging Like A Pendulum Do

It was an old movie from the 1930s on television. Johnson had heard of the film The Pit and The Pendulum based on a short story by Edgar Allan Poe.

But he wasn’t familiar with the 1930s version. He had only heard of a movie version from the 1960s with Vincent Price.

But this 1930s version was totally new to him and here he was a big classic horror movies fan. The Pit and The Pendulum from 1936 with Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff.

Try as he might, he could not recall Karloff and Lugosi ever making such a film. Lugosi had made The Black Cat with Karloff. He had made The Raven. He had made Murders In The Rue Morgue. All based on works by Poe.

But Johnson had never heard of Lugosi doing a movie version of Poe’s The Pit…

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Cthulhu Threatens Vengeance On America For Sacred Riana Being Voted Off AGT: A Horror Poem

August 22, 2018 at 10:39 pm (Avatar Speaks, Celebrities, Entertainment, Folklore, Ghost Story, Horror, Humour, International Intrigue, Literature, love, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, Television, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theatre Arts, TV Shows) (, , , , , , , )

Cthulhu Threatens Vengeance On America For Sacred Riana Being Voted Off AGT: A Horror Poem

It was the city proud to be oh so happy and gay
not so the creature now dwelling in the Bay
San Francisco felt a shaking
and it wasn’t earthquaking
It was Cthulhu as mad as Hell
but not at Mel B. or Simon Cowell
Howie Mandel was likewise all right
but Heidi Klum got a fright in the night
A tentacle 🐙 grabbed her leg
and it wasn’t Trump taken down a peg

For Cthulhu was in love with the Sacred Riana
like King King showing Fay Wray his big banana
He was expecting his favourite magician to go all the way
not burnt to ashes like a voodoo doll on a hot summer day

For America had voted Riana out
as Heidi complained of leg pain worse than gout
And now America would pay a very high price
and it wouldn’t be tariffs on chicken fried rice 🍚

A creature from the Lovecraftian Mythos
was with the land of the free extremely cross
No need to worry about Putin, Iran or Kim
For America, Cthulhu now has it in
It will drown in blood
like a raging flood
Fake news or not
but tentacles 🦑 of death shall hit the spot
and of making the land great again, it shall all come to not.

-A comic horror poem
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 22nd
2018.

The Sacred Riana is Cthulhu’s queen
She ascended a fiery wall before commercial break scene
She was crawling up to be crowned the Queen of Hell
from the Beast like creature who at the bottom of the sea 🌊 does dwell

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Pan Goatee’s #1 Bestseller

August 20, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Aesthetics, Literature, Music, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee’s #1 Bestseller

CNN Book Reviewer: Pan Goatee’s new book Stupid Ugly White Women, that was only published last week, has already become English-speaking North America’s Number 1 Top Best Seller.
Flocks of white heterosexual male readers (who generally don’t read many books) have been flocking to buy it.
It has already trilliondippled the number of book sales of left wing documentary film maker Michael Moore’s book Stupid White Men (which has a photo of Michael Moore on the cover).
Pan Goatee when he appeared on Stephen Colbert 🤨 said that Stupid White Men are those who date Stupid Ugly White Women.
Pan Goatee’s book has been condemned by white feminists to which the genetically created satyr serial killer and DARPA contract assassin replied, “You can kiss my hairy white ass.”
Donald Trump tweeted afterwards “Just how hairy is Pan Goatee’s ass anyways? Maybe he can do me a favour.”
According to newly released White House tape recordings recorded by a soon to be fired White House staff employee, Mr. Trump has recently expressed concern that the red spider monkey fur on his golden showers 🚿 coloured urine stained looking mop of a hairpiece toupee is starting to develop dandruff and he’s looking for a replacement.
Meanwhile Pan Goatee’s book Stupid Ugly White Women has, within the last week, become the #1 bestselling book of all time in the City of Calgary for some reason (and that’s just after one week since publication).
And it’s been reported by Calgary booksellers that male undergraduate students enrolled in Philosophy courses in the subject of Aesthetics and Philosophy of Art and Beauty have bought multiple copies of the book in much the same way that famous American assassins who go by three names have had multiple copies of J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher In The Rye on their bookshelves.

CNN Music Reviewer: Meanwhile the success of Pan Goatee’s book Stupid Ugly White Women has led to a musical hit for the London England based gay music promoter Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell’s Aulos Music and Recording Ltd. at his Wuthering Heights and Glencoe Hospitality Recording Studios on London’s Abbey Road.
Mr. Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell recorded British MP Renfield R. Renfield singing his own paraphrased version of the 1968 Dionne Warwick hit song Do You Know The Way To San Jose?
Sir Renfield’s paraphrased version is called Do You Know The Way To Pan Goatee?

Renfield (singing in a clip):

Do you know the way to Pan Goatee?
I’ve seen a lot of heads roll around Pan Goatee.
Calgary is a great big cow farm
turn around and see a blimp
All the gays that never were
switch teams after seeing them…

CNN Movie Reviewer: Meanwhile after a recent trip to Calgary, talk show host Ellen DeGeneres will soon be appearing in a new motion picture called Scared Straight…

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 20th
2018.

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Sadako Shado Tamashi

August 8, 2018 at 10:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Literature, Movies, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Short stories, Short Story, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) ()

Sadako Shado Tamashi

The archivist at the British Museum was looking through a bunch of early 20th Century Japanese photographs.

He came across a photo of a very beautiful young Japanese woman wearing a long white dress.

He stopped to look at her.

In fact, he looked at her for quite a while.

To his amazement, a heart ❤️ suddenly appeared in the photograph.

The word Yokubo appeared in the heart.

What the Hell? Archivist Moreau thought to himself.

What does Yokubo mean?

Moreau turned to the next photograph which was of a Japanese print of a Japanese Christ being crucified on the Cross.

That’s interesting, Moreau thought to himself, not too many of those pictures in Japan.

The next photo was of the same beautiful woman he had looked at a few photos earlier.

But now her long black hair was covering her entire face.

And blood (the colour red) actually appeared on her dress in the black and white photograph.

She was pointing a finger at someone (almost as if she was pointing at him from the photo).

Behind her was a word on the wall written in blood (again blood red showed up in the black and white photo).

The word was KAN’IN.

The next morning they found Moreau’s body dead in the photo archives of the British Museum.

His throat had been slashed from ear to ear as if he had just revealed Freemasonic secrets.

All the photos were gone.

Save for one black and white photo showing a woman in a long white dress with long black hair over her face standing over the body and pointing an accusatory finger at him.

The woman had very long sharp fingernails on her accusatory hand.

The nails were blood red (and red actually showed up in the B and W photo).

-A short story written by
Christopher
Wednesday August 8th
2018.

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The Reason Cthulhu Is In California and Trump Gets Advice From Gen. Pinochet’s Ghost On Military Coup

August 7, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Literature, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Reason Cthulhu Is In California and Trump Gets Advice From Gen. Pinochet’s Ghost On Military Coup

The Times of London sent their top ghostly spectral reporter Belvedere the ghost of the ghost white salamander to San Francisco to interview the Lovecraftian Great Old One god monster Cthulhu who had recently showed up in San Francisco Bay.

Other reporters had tried to interview the beast from the sea 🌊 but they ended up being eaten by the Creature from R’ lyeh (an underwater city in the South Pacific).

On hearing of the number of American mainstream reporters who were eaten by Cthulhu, Donald Trump tweeted, “See even Cthulhu thinks that the media is the enemy of the American people. And he can probably shoot through a hoop a lot better than Lebron James.”

An hour later Melania Trump tweeted, “Cthulhu is an inhuman monster.”

A leading American divorce lawyer then tweeted, “Who wants to grab me first? The Donald or Melania? Call me as Blondie once said.”

Since Belvedere was already a ghost, he didn’t have to worry about being eaten by Cthulhu although that didn’t stop Cthulhu from trying.

Finally in order to shut the pesky ghostly ghost white salamander Belvedere with his annoying questions up, Cthulhu finally broke down and revealed the reason for his trip to California.

“I want to see the Sacred Riana in the quarterfinals of the 2018 America’s Got Talent competition,” Cthulhu explained, “I watched her win the 2017 Asia’s Got Talent competition last year via underwater satellite TV in my cage in R’lyeh. Never have I been so turned on by anyone in hundreds of millions of millennia. I thought all this time I had become totally celibate. Which is why Lovecraft called me the High Priest of the Great Old Ones. He thought I was a Great Old One equivalent of Pope Hildebrand (aka Pope Gregory VII who reigned from April 22nd 1073-May 25th 1085) and thought that since celibacy was good enough for him, it was good enough for all the clergy in the West. I must confess I really didn’t have any sexual feelings until I watched the Sacred Riana in the 2017 Asia’s Got Talent competition.”

“I think you told me way more information than what I actually wanted to know,” Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander turned even whiter than his usual ghostly white self.

The Sacred Riana terrifies Mel B. On America’s Got Talent 2018.

. . .

“Who are you?” Donald Trump asked the ghostly spectral figure of the General who only seemed to speak Spanish, “This is why we need to build a wall. Are you the fellow who put all those Mexican drug dealers’ heads on those spikes in the White House Rose Garden recently? I must admit they helped my morning bowel movement considerably but still I don’t really relish having the crap scared out of me.”

“I am the ghost of Gen. Augusto Pinochet,” the spectre explained in Shakespearean English finally, “confined both day and night to fast in fires 🔥 until the foul crimes done in my days of nature are burnt and purged away. Unfortunately for me, that’s going to last from here until eternity.”

“So what are you doing here in the Oval Office then?” Trump asked.

“Hades the Greek god and guardian of the Underworld released me temporarily,” Gen. Pinochet’s ghost explained, “Pope Francis seems to get on Hades’ nerves with all his claims about Hellish Tartarus not existing. Many in the celestial council of small-g gods are starting to think that Hades is falling down on the job. So since Hades dislikes Pope Francis and Pope Francis happens to dislike you, Hades released me to give you advice.”

“Advice on what?” Trump looked in the mirror and wondered if the Chilean military dictator might be able to recommend a good hair product for more natural looking hair colour.

“On how to organize a military coup d’état and seize power just on the off chance the Robert Mueller probe does turn up something and Congress decides to impeach you,” Gen. Pinochet’s ghost explained.

“Beg your pardon, sir,” Lexington the Presidential butler and valet opened the Oval Office door, “but former Secretary of State Dr. Henry Kissinger is on line 1. He has just had a dream about a 1950s Mamie Van Doren 3-D motion picture that he’d like to discuss with you.”

“Is that the one where the movie announcer in the ad trailer for it says She’ll knock both your eyes out?” Trump helped himself to some left over Mexican spicy 🌶 breasts that Lexington had prepared for him this past weekend.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 7th
2018.

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