Reblog of The Death of The March Hare: A Poem
A narrative poem I wrote 3 years ago today:
On her throne, Persephone the Queen of the Underworld did decree
that the March Hare had brought joy to far too many
and it was time that this valiant hare should die
and should be now before March time did fly
So on this last day of March 2017
as the Hare drank tea with a Heartly Queen
the Messenger of Death did drop Polonium-210
into the hare’s teacup at the stroke of Big Ben
The hare raised the tea to his lips
as Mad Hatter recalled his latest trips
up through and outside the Rabbit hole
when the poor hare turned as black as coal
“Remember to pay the phone bill” were the Hare’s last words before he died
as into the frying pan went the Heartly queen’s kipper being fried
The March Hare fell over quite dead
and the Heartly queen turned bright red
“I did not say…
View original post 57 more words
The Storyteller: Weaving Cloth and Spinning A Tale
The Storyteller: Weaving Cloth and Spinning A Tale
Outside the world spins on its axis
As she spins cloth in actual praxis
In her mind she spins tales
like mermaid meeting whales
Fairies and butterflies sit on shelves
While her goldfish bowl swims with elves
Harlequin dolls on floors watch the cloth being weaved
As magic falls seamlessly out of her sleeve
For her mind is full of tales never told
of magical creatures and maidens bold
In a land she imagines where love ne’er grows old
Where knights shine and evil giants fold
Her old phonograph plays songs of yesteryear
Where sometimes those lyric memories can bring forth a tear
Her window on the world becomes a magic mirror
Where dark things are far but hope is nearer
Outside ships may burn and conquering dirigibles fly
While she entertains her fairy
audience with sweet lullaby
Sometimes in dark times, one has to stay home
But for a mind such as hers, she has a whole world to roam
-A poem written by Christopher
Thursday March 19th 2020
Leadership In Troubled Times: Light In Dark Ages
Leadership In Troubled Times: Light In Dark Ages
This was a photo montage music video I made back in 2009.
It is my personal favourite of all the photo montage music videos I made between 2008 and 2012 in those days when I still had a working desktop PC and was able to make them.
-Christopher
Edgar Allan Poe’s Ghost, Prince Prospero, Lady Death and A Vietnamese Vampiress Lady MacBeth
Edgar Allan Poe’s Ghost, Prince Prospero, Lady Death and A Vietnamese Vampiress Lady MacBeth
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was at Toronto Pearson International Airport to fly back to the United Kingdom from Canada after spending a brief time in the land of beavers, the maple leaf and legalized marijuana to examine for himself how a Trotskyite Marxist insurrection fared against an incompetent government.
As Marxist Trotskyite agitators and self-proclaimed indigenous warriors blockaded roads and railways and set fires all over the place, Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stood in front of his pot smoking antique mirror modelling one of Australian Uncle Ernie’s sequinned pink g-strings and wondered what the self-proclaimed Wet’ suwet’en hereditary chiefs would think if he showed up at a meeting with them wearing only this.
Before boarding the plane, Renfield told members of the Canadian media assembled there at the airport,
“Under the amazingly incompetent leadership of Justin Trudeau, I have seen Canada’s future…”
“… And it is Nicolas Maduro’s Venezuela,” he added before boarding the plane.
. . .
While lying in his bed, Donald Trump was visited by an entity identifying itself as the ghost of Edgar Allan Poe.
Poe’s ghost saluted Trump and said, “Hail Prince Prospero.”
“Who the Hell is Prince Prospero?” Trump asked as he struggled to put his toupee on.
“You are,” Poe’s ghost answered.
Outside in the White House Rose Garden, Lady Death strolled about.
. . .
Meanwhile inside the library of an exclusive gentlemen’s club in the City of London, Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (vampiress granddaughter of the late Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh), who had recently defected from Beijing to the Republic of Taiwan, was waiting for the People’s Republic of China Ambassador to the UK to show up.
Ho Babylon Minh had just come from a West London theatre where she had been playing Lady MacBeth carrying the real dagger that had been used to non-medically euthanize a leading London stage actor playing the role of Scotland’s King Duncan in what would be that leading stage actor’s last ever performance (where he would also be unavailable for a final curtain call).
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 29th
2020.
Carnevale In Venice: Masque of The Dread Death
Carnevale In Venice: Masque of The Dread Death
Coronavirus spreads
like jam on bread
China, Iran, South Korea,
Northern Italy
Wide clusters of cases
Authorities decree
no carnevale masque balls
In Venice
The night before Ash Wednesday
Thus Lent will arrive early for many
Mardi Gras in New Orleans
Parades and music
Party goers dance
Voodoo spells
Driven away by sounds of jazz
Many dollars are spent on the French Quarter
In Canada, Shrove Tuesday
aka National Pancake Day
Justin Trudeau with
post-Magical Mystery Tour pot smoke munchies
eats two dozen pancakes
covered in patriotic maple syrup
Goes to give speech on how to end child hunger
Ends up with a loss for words
But in Venice
no joy on the canal
Coronavirus has come out
But the children of the night
are natural rebels
Like wolves outside a Transylvanian nobleman’s castle
What music they make
They put on masks
Ladies in lovely Renaissance style evening gowns
Men wearing white wigs
And wearing Age of Louis XIV attire
likewise mask themselves
Rent gondolas
And sail canals of Venice
In defiance of authorities
Dance on the streets
One son of Night
wearing a New York Knicks
t-shirt walks around singing,
“I am what I am”
On his face he wears the Greek mask of Comedy
At the back of his head the Greek mask of Tragedy
He goes up to people with his happy smiling laughing face
He touches them gently
They fall to ground dead
He walks away
And you can see the sad crying unhappy face
He goes into an elegant Venetian hotel
And up to a room
Where he opens the door
And there is the Greek goddess Hera
The Queen of Olympus
Hera speaks,
Thanatos, son of Nyx,
You have turned a carnevale cruise
into Charon’s ferry ride across the Styx.
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 25th
2020.
Pan Goatee, Krampus and The 200th Anniversary of King George III’s Death
Pan Goatee, Krampus and The 200th Anniversary of King George III’s Death
Pan Goatee was enjoying an egg salad sub sandwich that he had bought from the Subway in the local shopping mall food court.
When he had finished the sandwich, he was going to buy himself a dozen Subway cookies for $6.
Just then an ugly looking female member of the ISIS Islamic State went up to the Subway with her detonation belt.
Goatee quickly beheaded the ugly looking creature before she could do any damage.
Although she had already caused a great deal of damage to the aesthetic environment with her ugliness.
Goatee then cut her up into 999 trillion pieces with his astral laser machete.
Rats recently released from the 1971 American horror film Willard in a repertory theatre then ate the ugly looking female suicide bomber.
They then vomited in nearby washrooms.
Goatee received a text message from the demon goat Krampus.
Krampus told Goatee that he had recently developed an allergy to the musical melody of the Johann Strauss waltz The Blue Danube whenever it was played.
“Wow, what a bummer,” Goatee stated sympathetically.
. . .
Today was the 200th Anniversary of King George III’s death.
And as such, Hades the god of the Underworld had granted the ghost of King George III a temporary dispensation to leave the Underworld.
As Cerberus was busy licking up the salt remains of Lot’s wife at the entrance/exit to the Underworld, the English poets Robert Southey and Lord Byron both stood there weeping at the cave of Hades/Sheol as they watched the late King George III of England leave (albeit only for a day).
Southey and Byron were not weeping over the late George III’s temporary absence but over the fact that both poets were wrong over their respective visions of judgment of King George III’s soul.
For George III had not entered heaven according to either man’s poetic thesis but was rather still currently spending a lot more time in Purgatory than either poet imagined (since neither Southey nor Byron had believed in Purgatory in their mortal lives).
The only people who were more upset than Southey or Byron at George III leaving Purgatory were the Puritan founders of America (who were mainly upset by the fact that Purgatory existed).
Hades and Persephone, after consultation with various devils and fallen angels, had come to the conclusion that the greatest Purgatorial punishment for the Puritans was for the ghost of Hamlet’s father King Hamlet of Denmark to drop by on a daily basis (as they were roasting away on their barbecue spits) and bang his staff (borrowed from Tolkien’s Middle Earth hero Gandalf) and announce to them, “The Bard was right. The Bard was right.”
He would then break into his speech that he had once delivered to young Hamlet,
“I am thy father’s spirit,
Doomed for a certain term to walk the night
And for the day confined to fast in fires,
Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature
Are burnt and purged away.”
And then as ever on a daily basis, Oliver Cromwell was cut up and put into an Irish shepherd’s pie and roasted in the oven.
Only to be repeated the next day.
George III spent his 200th deathday watching the impeachment trial of Donald Trump in the U.S. Senate while sitting next to U.S. Chief Justice John Roberts in the Senate chamber.
“So, this is what Washington and Jefferson and Ben Franklin’s project has come to,” George III laughed as he drank his now tax free ghostly tea rescued from the bottom of Boston Harbour.
As for Ben Franklin and his friend the English aristocratic rake Sir Francis Dashwood, they no longer found the terms “Members of the Hellfire Club” so funny anymore.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 29th
2020.
Renfield, A Disembodied Head, A Missing Peace Prize and Welles’ Gatsby MacBeth
Renfield, A Disembodied Head, A Missing Peace Prize and Welles’ Gatsby MacBeth
It was evening and British MP Renfield R. Renfield was once again on Skype talking to his friend Amadeus Emanon who was in Australia.
Amadeus was part of an international group of volunteers working to rescue koalas, kangaroos and other wildlife from the wildfires that were currently raging in that country.
“Some fire fighters and rescue volunteers captured some photos of an unusual sight today,” Amadeus mentioned.
“Oh, and what was that?” Renfield asked.
“It was photos of the flaming disembodied head of a Jesuit priest going around setting fire to trees,” Amadeus answered.
“That is a very unique and unusual form of arson,” Renfield used his Sherlockian powers of deductive reasoning to reach that conclusion.
“Angelique,” Amadeus referred to his girlfriend, “captured a video of it.”
Amadeus showed Renfield the video.
As flames of fire came forth from the disembodied head, the Jesuit said, “Survival of the fittest. Jump start the next evolutionary leap. Koalas and kangaroos won’t help the Cosmos evolve towards the Omega Point.”
“Makes you wonder if this Omega Point is worth evolving to,” Renfield commented as he took a swig of whisky.
. . .
The news video clip was of Donald Trump at a campaign event in Toledo, Ohio the night before.
Trump told his supporters, “I’m going to tell you about the Nobel Peace Prize, I’ll tell you about that. I made a deal, I saved a country and I just heard that the head of that country is getting the Nobel Peace Prize for saving the country. I said, ‘What, did I have something to do with it?’. Yeah, but you know, that’s the way it is. As long as we know, that’s all that matters… I saved a big war, I’ve saved a couple of them.”
Trump was stating that he deserved the Nobel Peace Prize for ending the war between Ethiopia and Eritrea.
Not Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed, 43, the man who actually ended the war.
The U.S. influence in the peace talks was minimal.
And so Donald Trump was making a whopper of a claim.
Probably the biggest whopper of a claim since then Prime Minister Brian Mulroney of Canada (the biggest most pompous and most arrogant asshole that Canadian politics has ever produced) made the whopper of a claim back in 1990 that he was the man single handedly responsible for the dismantling of the Berlin Wall in Europe and the ending of apartheid in South Africa.
Totally ignoring the efforts of Mikhail Gorbachev, Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II in the former event and the efforts of Nelson Mandela and F.W. De Klerk in the other.
. . .
The ghost of Orson Welles (who along with Winston Churchill’s ghost was one of two spirit advisors to Renfield R. Renfield) sat in a comfortable arm chair in the Set Estate mansion in West London sipping a glass of spectral red wine while Set’s cat Nefertiti Galore was dining on smoked oysters and vodka from her cat dish.
The ghost of Orson Welles was contemplating directing a new film- a roaring 1920s version of MacBeth in which MacBeth would appear as a Great Gatsby style figure and Lady MacBeth would come across as an even more narcissistic (than she was in Fitzgerald’s novel) version of Daisy Buchanan- one with severe psychopathic and homicidal tendencies.
Welles imagined MacBeth’s first meeting with the 3 Witches- not on a Scottish heath but in the grand drawing room of an elegant mansion on a colossal Long Island estate.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 10th
2020.
A Candidates’ Debate and Trump’s Missing Hairpiece
A Candidates’ Debate and Trump’s Missing Hairpiece
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was at another all-party candidates’ debate in his constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds.
As he waited for the debate to begin, he was reading the notes made by Set Enterprises’ secret agent Harvey Tallbanger (a 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka usually invisible bunny rabbit) at yesterday’s meeting between Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky and Russian President Vladimir Putin hosted by French President Emmanuel Macron and German Chancellor Angela Merkel at the Élysées Palace in Paris.
As Renfield sat sipping his Harvey Wallbanger drink, he noticed Harvey Tallbanger sitting on a chair next to the podium on stage.
The 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit was wearing ballet slippers, shorts and a Hawaiian t-shirt.
Renfield deduced that Tallbanger must have read the same blog post about Freddie Mercury once meeting a German record producer that he himself had read earlier today.
Renfield motioned to the pub keeper who was the host and chairperson of tonight’s debate.
“I’d like to buy Harvey Wallbangers for everybody all around,” Renfield said, “both the audience and the fellow candidates.”
“Very good, sir,” the pub keeper host and chairman nodded.
Towards the end of the debate, a thoroughly inebriated woman (who had gone up on stage and kissed Harvey Tallbanger) stood at the podium and microphone and said, “I am concerned about the quality of teachers in our country. I’d now like to read a letter I had recently written to my son’s schoolteacher.”
The woman cleared her throat, “I call it An Open Letter To My Son’s Teacher Who Gave My Son A ‘D’ On The Essay I Wrote For Him.”
Renfield and the rest of the candidates tried hard to contain their laughter.
“Dear madam,” the woman began, “I am extremely and personally hurt and humiliated by the mark you recently gave…”
And so the debate went.
. . .
The U.S. House of Representatives Judiciary Committee today had unveiled two articles of impeachment against U.S. President Donald Trump; abuse of power and obstruction of Congress.
Furious, Trump had tweeted about “do-nothing Democrats on a witch hunt” and then was going out on to the White House lawn to make an official statement to the press.
That’s when he looked in the mirror.
“Lexington,” Trump called out to his British butler and valet, “somebody cut a large piece of hair out of my toupee while I was sleeping. Who would do such a thing? I can’t face the press looking like a complete ass.”
“Well it’s never stopped you before, sir,” Lexington muttered under his breath.
. . .
Actor Rowan Atkinson pulled his Mr. Bean TV show teddy bear out of his suitcase.
He was shocked to see Teddy wearing a golden urine coloured wig.
“Teddy,” Atkinson was shocked, “You look like Donald Trump. Who would do this to you?”.
. . .
Dashwood Forrest owner of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery went to the room where he kept the Portrait of Dorian Gray and also as of yesterday the Portrait of Dorian Gray’s Teddy Bear.
On this evening when he approached the room, he did so with a feeling of trepidation.
For this morning when Forrest had checked on both paintings, the figure of Dorian Gray’s teddy bear had been missing from his painting.
Now as he pulled back the velvet curtains covering both paintings, Forrest was relieved to discover that both figures were safely in their appropriate spots within the frames.
“Oh Teddy,” Forrest looked at the figure of Dorian Gray’s teddy bear, “Where have you been? And what have you been up to?”.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 10th
2019.
The Portrait of Dorian Gray’s Teddy Bear
The Portrait of Dorian Gray’s Teddy Bear
Dashwood Forrest the owner of The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery had spent the day visiting a London Christmas Market.
On his way home, he had visited a small antique store where he noticed a rather old painting of a child’s teddy bear.
Intrigued by the painting, Forrest had bought the painting for £20 and brought it back to his gallery with him.
He gave the painting a cleaning and noticed the name of the artist- Basil Hallward.
The same artist who had painted the original portrait of Dorian Gray that Forrest had purchased at an estate sale back in October of 2012.
Prior to purchasing that painting, Forrest had just believed that the artist Basil Hallward was a fictional character and the famous portrait of Dorian Gray had been a figment of Oscar Wilde’s imagination.
Back on September 3rd of this year, the figure of Dorian Gray had disappeared from the painting when Hurricane Dorian had struck the Caribbean.
Only to return when the storm finally faded into oblivion.
And now here was a portrait of a teddy bear done by the same man who had painted a portrait of Dorian Gray.
Forrest noticed the year below Basil Hallward’s name -1860- the same year he had painted the picture of Dorian Gray.
Forrest decided to take the frame off and check the back of the canvas of the painting.
There on the back of the canvas of the painting were the words Portrait of Dorian Gray’s Toy Bear- painted 1860.
So Dorian Gray had owned a teddy bear before teddy bears became popular (teddy bears had emerged as a phenomenon back in the early 1900s and the toy bears had in fact been named after Teddy Roosevelt who was the U.S. President of the day).
Forrest went to the secluded room in the gallery where he kept the picture of Dorian Gray.
He hung the portrait of Dorian Gray’s teddy bear next to Gray’s portrait.
He then put the velvet curtains up again in front of both paintings, turned off the lights and closed the door.
Had he stayed in the room a few minutes longer, he’d have noticed the figure of Dorian Gray’s teddy bear in the portrait had gone missing.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 9th
2019.
Don Quixote and The Fountain of Youth
Don Quixote and The Fountain of Youth
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was temporarily back in London from the town of Tewkesbury.
Renfield was in the process of setting up his campaign re-election headquarters in Tewkesbury.
However he was back in London to attend the final session of this current Westminster Parliament to elect a new Speaker of the House of Commons to succeed John Bercow who was retiring as Speaker.
After Sir Lindsay Hoyle was elected the new Speaker, Renfield went to The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London where he had been invited to see a painting that the gallery had recently acquired.
Upon Renfield’s arrival, Dashwood Forrest showed him the new painting:
“What’s the painting called?” Renfield asked Forrest.
“It’s called Don Quixote Kisses Dulcinea del Toboso,” Forrest answered.
“Really?” Renfield accepted a piece of shrimp offered him by one of the catering waiters, “I must say Don Quixote looks rather young in that painting and not the old fogey depicted in Cervantes’ novel.”
“There’s an interesting story to that painting,” Forrest accepted a vegan hot dog from another waiter, “this painting was actually painted in 19th Century Mexico. According to the artist’s notebook, he actually met the young looking Don Quixote and the young looking Dulcinea del Toboso. Quixote, said the artist, did not die after recovering his sanity and renouncing his ideals of knightly chivalry like Cervantes said at the end of his work. Instead Quixote sailed to the New World and went to Florida where he discovered the Fountain of Youth. He drank from it and became young again. He returned to Spain and brought Dulcinea del Toboso to the New World and to Florida where she too drank from the Fountain of Youth. She too became eternally young. The couple then moved to Mexico where they were living when the artist painted this picture.”
“So according to the painter of this picture,” Renfield helped himself to a whisky, “Don Quixote was a real person and not a figment of Cervantes’ imagination.”
“That is so,” Forrest nodded.
“I wonder where the Fountain of Youth is located,” Renfield looked intently at the painting.
. . .
“I see you got yourself a new dog in Florida to replace Caesar,” Donald Trump remarked to one of his secret service bodyguards named Schneider.
“This is Caesar,” Schneider petted the young pup.
“Nonsense, Caesar looked to be on his last legs when he was here in this office,” Trump remarked, “he was 12 years old and dying. And you said you were taking him to Florida on one last holiday before he went off on his final journey.”
“I was,” Schneider said, “But when I took him for a walk down there, he found a spring and drank from it. And now he looks like this.”
“Where is this spring?” Trump demanded to know.
“I’ve forgotten,” Schneider lied knowing what sort of man he was dealing with in Trump.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 4th
2019.
