Aphrodite In The Park
The Greek goddess Aphrodite in a park in London
The Greek goddess Aphrodite was sitting in a park in London.
She observed as the Greek god Asclepius met with the Norse trickster god Loki, a representative of evil deranged mad scientist Dr. Anthony Fauci and an envoy of Pope Francis.
The four discussed how to bring the Egyptian deities Isis, Osiris and Horus back from the dead as the three had all been bumped off earlier this week by Phoebe Sears a cryptographer and code breaker for Set Enterprises (Set Enterprises being owned by the London based ancient Egyptian vampire Set who was the arch enemy of brother Osiris, sister Isis and nephew Horus).
“Incest is never a good thing,” the blind ghost of Thebes’ Oedipus Rex commented as he walked by.
It was definitely applicable to Egyptian royal politics and intrigue especially when Egyptian royalty was elevated to godhood in a pyramid temple ceremony that prefigured contemporary Mormon Temple ceremonies by several millennia.
She watched as a Bud Lite drinking and cross-dressing Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI agent (on a covert mission for senile old fool Joe Biden) attempted to assassinate British MP Renfield R. Renfield for his recent elimination of much of Los Angeles Dodgers’ management.
The FBI agent was blown away to kingdom come (or queendom goeth) by Renfield sporting his Sean Connery personally autographed James Bond 007 gun.
Aphrodite then watched as Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles stole the magical love inducing bow and arrow 🏹 from her son Cupid/Eros 💘.
They did so because they needed Cupid/Eros’ bow and arrow 🏹 💘 for an upcoming mission on behalf of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit.
Aphrodite watches as Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles steal the magical bow and arrow from her son Cupid/Eros.
“Come here,” Aphrodite said to Dracul Van Helsing as she adjusted her skirt, “and get across my lap. You need a good spanking for doing that.”
Van Helsing did as he was told.
And Aphrodite spanked the living daylights out of Dracul’s bare bottom.
Van Helsing then made out with her when the spanking was over.
The ghost of Orson Welles grabbed the magic love 💗 inducing bow and arrow 🏹 of Cupid/Eros 💘 and got the Hell out of there.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Saturday May 27th
2023.
Preparing For A Regency Era Ball: From Jane Austen To Sanditon
A country rectory in rural England
Of the early 19th Century
While the Prince of Pleasure
Held his regency at London court
There far from the battlefield scars
Of the continent
That paid the price
For Napoleon’s ambition
England herself
Was at peace.
This sceptred isle
This other Eden
Demi-Paradise
This earth
This realm
This England
Thanks to Nelson’s Navy
And Wellington’s troops
This seat of Mars sees no martial strife itself
While young John stands in basement kitchen
Looking gaunt
Upstairs Jane
Miss Austen
Gets ready for the grand ball
On nearby country estate
Jane Austen a woman with imagination that dazzles
These grand balls inspire her vision
From a great mind
A passionate heart 💜
And a sensitive soul
Many a great tale would spring forth
And bud and bloom like
The English countryside
In the month of May
Over two centuries later
Her stories still inspire
And even her unfinished tales
Create unforgettable masterpieces
And love stories
That will dazzle for all time.
-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday May 17th 2023.
Byzantine Vampiress Theodora Is In Scotland Doing Advertising In Romanian
The Byzantine Vampiress Theodora was in a photo shoot in a beautiful Bed and Breakfast on Scotland’s Loch Lomond. It was for an ad in a Romanian magazine.
The Byzantine Vampiress Theodora was the subject of a vampiress hunt by governments all over the world as it was suspected she was involved in plots to stop the George Soros/Bill Gates/Klaus Schwab/ Pope Francis New World Order.
Byzantine Vampiress Theodora: A threat to the New World Order
Among the governments of the world embedded (venereally) with the New World Order was the government of Australia 🇦🇺.
Already three Australian states had lined up to enforce Digital IDs on their citizens.
Australia’s National Government of Anthony Albanese (after attending a weekend convention where the person in charge had ordered Bud Light Beer instead of Foster’s) had just named a notorious Australian drag queen who went by the name of Uncle Ernie to be the covert head of Australia’s foreign intelligence operations.
The news was greeted with sheer delight by the CCP Politburo in Beijing.
As the new covert head of Australia’s foreign intelligence operations, Uncle Ernie was sent to the UK to reign in the Byzantine vampiress Theodora.
He discovered that she was involved in a photo shoot on the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.
Likewise Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, working for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit, had discovered that Theodora was involved in a photo shoot on the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.
After snorting 3 dozen ounces of crack cocaine, Uncle Ernie decided to take the high road to Scotland 🏴.
He got into his motor vehicle 🚗 and eventually ended up crashing into the ruins of an Augustinian abbey in the town of Jedburgh, Scotland.
Uncle Ernie was arrested by Scottish police and charged with Driving Under The Influence as well as desecrating a Scottish national monument.
Dracul Van Helsing rented Mr. Bean’s mini car and thus took the low road to Scotland 🏴.
In this journey, he was accompanied by the ghost of Orson Welles.
Welles’ ghost wore a spectral Redpath tartan kilt and sporran and had a large steaming ghostly plate of Scottish haggis on his lap.
After hitting many a bump on the road to Scotland in Mr. Bean’s very low mini (always accompanied by excruciatingly earth shattering screams from Welles’ ghost), there was not much left of the plate of haggis by the time they reached the Scottish border.
As they passed Jedburgh, they noticed Uncle Ernie, wearing a Christian Dior evening gown plus handcuffs, being loaded into the back of a Scottish police van.
Eventually the duo reached Loch Lomond.
Van Helsing entered the B. and B. on the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond and encountered Theodora wearing the same dress as she was in this ad:
Naturally Van Helsing made out with Theodora on the spot.
Welles’ ghost, suspecting that Van Helsing was probably making out with Theodora, decided not to enter the B. and B.
Instead he walked down to the shore of Loch Lomond where he encountered a female Scottish pixie 🧚♀️ who threw him to the shore and made out with him.
The Loch Ness Monster (who had somehow wound up in Loch Lomond after a package thrown from the back of a Scottish police cruiser had wound up in Loch Ness and Nessie had discovered the contents and devoured them) came upon the spectacle of a kilt and sporran wearing Orson Welles’ ghost making out with a female Scottish pixie 🧚♀️.
“Oh my Void,” Nessie screamed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 16th
2023.
Jane Austen Encounters Dracul Van Helsing Again
Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing talks to noted British author Jane Austen in an English country garden as the pair sit on a bench outside an English country cottage
Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was taking a walk along a country path in that part of England associated with noted Regency era author Jane Austen.
The sky suddenly shifted from an extremely bright sunny one to a more cloudy but nevertheless pleasant looking evening anticipating the coming of a gentle rain.
Almost as if Dracul Van Helsing had encountered a vortex in time and had gone either forward or backward in time.
Suddenly Dracul Van Helsing recognized author Jane Austen wearing a pale lilac coloured nightgown and sitting on a bench in an English country garden outside an English country cottage.
Van Helsing had recently travelled back in time and had encountered a 28-year-old Jane Austen back in the spring of 1804.
“Hello, Mr. Van Helsing,” Jane smiled.
“Good evening, Miss Austen,” Dracul answered back.
The vampire hunter deduced that he must have again travelled back to the spring of 1804 when Jane Austen would have been 28.
Van Helsing sat down next to Jane Austen and the pair once again discussed art, literature, philosophy and life.
Jane asked Dracul about his strange looking modern attire.
“The period in which I come from has even stranger looking attire,” Van Helsing explained, “I live in an age where men think they’re women and women think they’re men.”
“My God,” Jane gasped.
“The age in which I live has the consciousness of the Void,” Dracul explained, “The inmates have taken over the asylum in my time and sanity and truth are regarded as crimes against the state and crimes against humanity.”
“Is there nothing good about your time?” Jane asked.
“Only when they make movies or TV series based on your books whether finished or unfinished,” Dracul replied.
Sanditon: A British TV series based on an unfinished novel by Jane Austen and the only good thing about the entire decade of the 2020s so far in Dracul Van Helsing’s opinion
“Nothing else good about the decade in which you’re currently living?” Jane inquired.
“Well, a friend of mine has developed computer software to help people with dyslexia,” Van Helsing answered.
Jane Austen had never heard of dyslexia.
Van Helsing explained that in the year 1877 the reading and spelling difficulties characteristic of dyslexia were first identified by Adolph Kussmaul a German professor of medicine.
His friend with dyslexia Timothy Wood was considered mentally disabled as a child and they wouldn’t let him enter the school system.
His grandmother however taught him to read using the King James Bible, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare and the novels of Sir Walter Scott.
Timothy Wood had once written a Jane Austen style Regency novel called The Sterley’s of Oakland Park which is available at
https://www.lulu.com/shop/timothy-wood/the-sterleys-of-oakland-park/paperback/product-1wg887g.html
“My favourite line from the book,” Dracul recalled, “was about a woman whose cooking was so bad that it was said of her that if she had been a cook in Britain’s Royal Navy, she’d have been the most formidable weapon in Napoleon’s arsenal.”
“Sounds like a line I could have written,” Jane Austen laughed.
“It does,” Dracul agreed.
The dyslexia software that Timothy Wood developed is available at
http://www.pollyspeaks4u.co.za/
Back in the year 2023, the former DARPA operative code named Hyperion Sturm has been brought back to DARPA to help out with a project he had developed.
The project was called Jefferey the Otter.
Jefferey was an actual otter that Hyperion Sturm had taught how to read and write.
Jefferey was used to read and translate (for he had been taught a dozen different languages) intelligence agency documents from all over the world.
Jefferey had two problems however.
He was dyslexic.
And he was an alcoholic.
Now thanks to Timothy Wood’s computer software for dyslexics (which is available at
http://www.pollyspeaks4u.co.za/ ) , Jefferey the Otter no longer has problems reading.
As for his alcoholism, well the otter had better join Alcoholics Anonymous.
Hyperion Sturm was brought to DARPA Headquarters for Jefferey the Otter had vanished.
Hyperion later found him in a strip bar drinking Green Minnow Beer alongside the great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg who was drinking Ernest Hemingway’s own invented cocktail called Death In The Afternoon (which was a mix of Champagne and absinthe).
“I prefer these to Dr. Anthony Fauci’s vaccine booster shots if I have to go,” Finneganburg explained.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 11th
2023.
London At Night: A Poem Inspired By Sanditon
In the night
London Town still shines very bright
And across the bridge
Our pathway guided by many a light
From the double decker bus to the clock
Through the mists we continue our walk
With you by my side
Whether we go for walk or ride
May our love please not hide
Let us not kill possible joy
Due to pride
Come my love take my hand
Without you I cannot stand
Though we go through a night scape land
May we rise from mundane to grand
Our hearts soar above the Strand
Oh my dear
I do not want you to fear
For you I’ll always be here
I’ll be with you far or near
So wipe way the tear
Big Ben tolls the present hour
Let us not fear love’s power
Not me or you but we and our
Our love a constant tower
An existence no longer dour
-A poem written by Christopher
An Alexander Colbourne
In Search of His Charlotte Heywood
Written Wednesday May 10th
2023.
Jane Austen Meets Dracul Van Helsing
Writer Jane Austen on a warm spring day
It was a warm spring day and Jane Austen was doing some sketching before applying watercolours.
Within a few seconds Jane noticed a man appearing out of nowhere on the stone walkabout around the lake.
The man was Dracul Van Helsing time traveller from the future.
Van Helsing had recently been watching Sanditon (a British television series based on Jane Austen’s unfinished novel) on PBS via satellite.
He was also a big fan of Austen’s novels Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion and Emma.
After having watched Tom Jones the new British drama on PBS’ Masterpiece Theatre (based on Henry Fielding’s classic 1749 novel) last night, Van Helsing reflected on the state of the world in the dystopian 2020s.
He had a further discussion with the ghost of Orson Welles on the subject this morning and decided to take the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Prototype Film 🎞️ Projector (an instrument of time travel) to England 🏴 in the year 1804 when Jane Austen would have been 28.
Van Helsing pushed a button on the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Prototype Film Projector and vanished into the mists of time.
Welles’ ghost was immediately worried that the charming sex addict Van Helsing might thoroughly charm Jane Austen and Jane Austen succumbing to his charms would end up being deflowered.
For Van Helsing had had his way with many beautiful goddesses and vampiresses although of course you couldn’t accuse Van Helsing of deflowering any of them like Hera, Aphrodite and Isis for instance although he had deflowered the virgin goddesses Athena and Artemis (which ticked their father Zeus off to no end).
The ghost of Orson Welles quickly hurried to Set Enterprises’ Laboratories where Set Enterprises’ Chief Scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was working.
Rocher had made a small replica of the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Prototype Film Projector 🎞️.
Welles borrowed the replica from Rocher, pushed a button on it and went back in time to the exact date and place where Dracul Van Helsing was hoping to encounter Jane Austen.
. . .
King Charles III, who was busy preparing for his coronation this coming Saturday, was also reading a report on what had transpired in Vienna yesterday.
British MP Renfield R. Renfield, who was holidaying in Vienna after co-chairing a secret conference of peace talks between Russia 🇷🇺 and Ukraine 🇺🇦, had been involved in a shoot out with American Deep State operatives yesterday.
Renfield of course had been involved in shoot outs with numerous American Deep State operatives while the conference was going on.
The directors of the American Deep State were horrified that someone had actually taken out many of their operatives.
Just like the directors of the American Deep State were horrified that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. had announced that he was running for the U.S. Democratic Party nomination against their puppet Joe Biden.
They heard from a little bird (a canary that was a cocaine addict and owned by Hunter Biden) that Renfield would be leaving Vienna for London yesterday.
So the American Deep State resolved to ambush Renfield on the streets of Vienna as he took a taxi from his hotel to the airport.
666 American Deep State operatives were dispatched for the operation.
And the end result was that 666 American Deep State operatives now lay dead on the streets of Vienna.
“Vienna is like a shooting gallery,” Dr. Henry Kissinger remarked as he watched the operation on YouTube livestream.
As for the 666 dead American Deep State operatives, as a result of Joe Biden’s gender inclusion and diversity policies, they were all men wearing dresses, make up and high heels.
. . .
“Our nation’s public libraries are now deprived of an enormous amount of storybook readers for children,” Joe Biden had tears in his eyes as he looked at the photos of the dead American Deep State operatives on the streets of Vienna.
. . .
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was back home in London and was currently being interviewed on Livestream by truly traditional Catholic media podcaster Taylor Marshall from the U.S.
Renfield was wearing a t-shirt that said I’D RATHER BE A KEYBOARD WARRIOR THAN A KEYBOARD PANSY.
The quote was in answer to an idiotic statement made by satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) a few weeks ago.
Of course Bergoglio has a habit of making nothing but idiotic statements (which is why he is acclaimed as a genius by globalist elitists and the brainless mainstream media) so researchers had some difficulty tracking down the original idiotic quote.
On his plane ride back from Hungary 🇭🇺 to Rome yesterday, Bergoglio was trying to take credit for the recent Vienna secret conference of Russian-Ukrainian peace talks.
Even though Samhain Cardinal Salaman (who happened to be the sole heterosexual administrator in Pope Francis’ Vatican) had started the talks without Francis’ consent.
. . .
The ghost of Orson Welles found Dracul Van Helsing with his head on the lap of Jane Austen.
No longer did Jane Austen have a sketch pad on her lap.
As in the above picture.
Instead it was Dracul Van Helsing who was having his forehead stroked by Miss Austen.
Welles’ ghost had a large rolling pin in hand ready to hit Van Helsing over the head should he make an attempt to deflower Miss Austen.
But he did not.
Instead they had a long and witty conversation.
With deep penetrating insight into art, literature and philosophy.
Finally Jane Austen said, “I must return home. My father, sister and brothers are expecting me for dinner.”
Van Helsing helped her gather up her sketch pad, watercolours and paint brushes.
Jane Austen walked off into the forest.
Welles’ ghost went forward in time before Van Helsing had a chance to see him.
When Welles’ ghost returned, Amadeus Emanon asked him, “So who is Dracul Van Helsing like in relation to Jane Austen? Alexander Colbourne? Or Sir Edward Denham?”.
Welles’ ghost lit a cigar, poured himself a glass of wine 🍷 and took a long pause before answering the question.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 1st
2023.
Sanditon
Sanditon is my favourite TV series of the past 3 years.
And if I had to give it some extra thought, I would probably come to the conclusion that it’s my favourite TV series of all time.
I’ve always had a thing for British Regency romance novels.
And for Jane Austen in particular.
Jane Austen being one of my top 5 favourite authors (the other 4 being William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Fyodor Dostoevsky and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle).
I first stumbled upon Sanditon a couple of years ago when someone posted the 6 episodes of Season 1 in English with German subtitles on YouTube (they’ve long since been removed).
From the pictures, they looked to be Regency dress and costumes.
So I clicked on Season 1 Episode 1 and started watching.
With the credits in German and no subtitles for the credits, I didn’t pay much attention.
But as I watched the show, the dialogue struck me and I thought this dialogue could easily have been written by Jane Austen.
For even though I was a big Jane Austen fan, I had never heard of her unfinished novel Sanditon.
And my father (who was a Public School History and Science teacher for over 30 years) and was a big Jane Austen fan had never mentioned Sanditon in his many discussions on her.
It was also from my dad that I inherited my love of Dickens and Shakespeare.
I developed my love for Dostoevsky after having received a book of Dostoevsky short stories from my Grade 12 Creative Writing teacher for getting the top marks in her Creative Writing class.
She had written an inscription in the book that my short stories that I had written reminded her of Dostoevsky’s short stories so that’s why she was buying me this book.
I had heard of many of Dostoevsky’s novels but I had never read any of his short stories at the time I was presented with that book.
I had read Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov in its entirety when I was just 14 years old (after having seen on late night television a movie version of it from the 1950s that starred Yul Brynner as Dmitri Karamazov).
And I inherited my love for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle when I read a children’s book edition of The Hound of the Baskervilles when I was just 8 years old and have been a big Sherlock Holmes fan ever since.
It was sometime after watching that YouTube series with English dialogue and German subtitles that I read that the series Sanditon was based on an unfinished novel by Jane Austen.
Well that explains how the dialogue in the series reminded me so much of Jane Austen I thought.
Last year I found myself in the middle of a move.
When the trailer I was renting a room in was sold by the landlord.
After about a month (during which time I stayed with a friend), I finally found a new place.
The landlady was a sympathetic woman who took sympathy in my plight as a struggling author and bought me a television set and hooked me up to the house’s cable.
Sadly she separated from the landlord last summer.
The landlord is a bit of a dipstick or a lot of a dipstick as he stepped on my android tablet last October thoroughly ruining the keyboard on it and never offered to replace it.
A friend of mine bought me a new iPad 15 Pro this past February so now I can once again do a lot more writing.
I got my new TV from my then landlady in mid-March of 2022.
One night after discovering I got both PBS Detroit and PBS Spokane on it, I tuned in one Sunday night and discovered Season 2 of Sanditon.
It was about halfway through the season when I started watching.
Half way through the episode I made the brilliant Sherlockian deduction that Sidney Parker must have died.
Which turned out to be correct.
However I found the figure of Alexander Colbourne a lot more intriguing than Sidney Parker.
Alexander Colbourne reminded me of a far better looking version of Orson Welles’ portrayal of Edward Rochester in the 1943 film Jane Eyre (based on the Charlotte Brontë novel).
Ben Lloyd-Hughes’ portrayal of Alexander Colbourne has all the existential angst of Welles’ portrayal of Edward Rochester in Jane Eyre but is far better looking than Welles (as is to be expected from a Jane Austen hero).
This is not to take anything away from Orson Welles who is one of my film idols.
He had an outstanding intellect and was a great director and screenplay writer.
I also have the ghost of Orson Welles appearing as a character in my vampire novel (having been dispensationally released from Purgatory by Hades the Greek god of the Underworld).
Of course not having the sexual orientation of Truman Capote or Gore Vidal, I didn’t start becoming a big fan of Sanditon because of Ben Lloyd-Hughes’ portrayal of Alexander Colbourne.
It was Rose Williams’ portrayal of Charlotte Heywood and Crystal Clarke’s portrayal of Georgiana Lambe that drew me in.
I’m not going to reveal any spoilers in my review here.
I will mention some of the very humorous dialogue:
Charlotte Heywood: Your niece Augusta thinks that you regard her as an intolerable burden to you.
Alexander Colbourne: Those were her exact words?
Charlotte Heywood: Well they were in French but yes.
And in the scene where the clergyman is giving a wedding rehearsal for Lady Denham and Rowleigh Price (an elderly couple getting married), the vicar says, “And in my sermon when I talk on conjugal relations, I shall point out that the world conjugal comes from the Latin word meaning ‘to yoke’…” to which Lady Denham responds, “You most certainly will not.”
The TV series Sanditon had excellent cinematography.
I would watch each episode 3 or 4 times on a Sunday night.
The two times it was shown on PBS Detroit and then the two times it was shown on PBS Spokane.
One of the stations had it on a third time early Monday morning but which I watched with the volume on Mute so as not to disturb my roommates in the house.
It was with the sound off (but knowing what the dialogue was having watched it twice before) that I truly appreciated the cinematography.
Episode 5 of Season 3 was a cinematic masterpiece.
Each scene one of the characters was in light and the other character was in semi-darkness within the same scene.
Save towards the final scenes when both characters were in the light.
A true cinematic masterpiece.
And the entire production of Sanditon was a masterpiece.
I’m usually leery of someone trying to finish a great author’s unfinished work because it invariably isn’t up to par with the author’s excellence of style.
But the makers and the cast of Sanditon succeeded.
They created a masterpiece.
Jane Austen was a great woman and a great author.
She deserves nothing less.
-A personal commentary
and review
Written by Christopher
Thursday April 27th
2023.
Zelda In Vienna
A woman sitting on a piano in Vienna
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was on a sightseeing holiday in Vienna after being involved in a secret conference to try to negotiate peace between Russia and Ukraine.
He was sitting in the elegant lobby of his hotel smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of bourbon.
“I congratulate you on your excellent choice of drink, sir,” said the white bearded man sitting across from him.
Renfield looked up and recognized the gentleman sitting across from him from seeing his image in old LIFE Magazine photos.
“Aren’t you Ernest Hemingway?” Renfield asked.
“I am the ghost of Ernest Hemingway,” the spectre announced, “condemned for a certain term to walk the night and watch other people smoke cigars and drink bourbon in hotel lobbies across the world, and for the day confined to fast in fires until the foul crimes done in my days of nature are burnt and purged away.”
“And what do you find worst?” Renfield blew smoke rings with his cigar and sipped his glass of bourbon.
“That’s not a fair question,” Hemingway looked enviously at the cigar in Renfield’s right hand and his glass of bourbon in his left.
“On this occasion fair is indeed foul,” Renfield commented as a waiter put a plate of barbecued chicken on the table next to him.
Renfield and Hemingway discussed literature as the MP ate his barbecue chicken.
When Renfield had finished and the waiter took the plate away, the bell 🔔 on the old clock in the lobby tolled.
“Ask not for whom the bell tolls,” Hemingway noted, “It tolls for thee.”
“Yes, but can you say that in Latin?” Quipped the ghost of John Donne as he walked by.
Hemingway looked downcast.
“No need to worry, Hemingway old boy,” Renfield smiled, “The current occupant of the throne of Peter can’t say it in Latin either.”
Hemingway smiled, “Did you see my friends F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda?”.
“Are their ghosts here?” Renfield finished his cigar and bourbon.
“I think it’s their mortal selves,” Hemingway answered, “The ghost of a ghost white salamander told me that the mortal selves of Scott and Zelda travelled here in some sort of time travel experiment after they met Nikola Tesla on some occasion back in the 1920s.”
“Where are F. Scott and Zelda?” Renfield asked.
“In the hotel’s piano room over there,” Hemingway pointed.
Renfield walked over to the piano room.
He stepped over Billy Joel who was lying on the floor singing, “Sing me a song, I’m the piano man…”
And there sitting on a piano covered with drinks (that were drank by Billy Joel as a mortal F. Scott Fitzgerald looked on enviously) was Zelda Fitzgerald.
“Great Gatsby!” Renfield shouted, “It’s Zelda Fitzgerald.”
Former Irish ☘️ Rover Will Millar walked by singing, “I’ll give you a daisy a day, dear…”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 26th
2023.
Sherrielock Holmes and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
World famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes the quite literally immortal twin sister of world famous London consulting detective Sherlock Holmes
Sherrielock Holmes the world famous London dominatrix was getting her photo taken by famous London photographer Murrell Haggarty.
Sherrielock Holmes was the quite literally immortal twin sister of world famous London consulting detective Sherlock Holmes.
Sherrielock had become immortal after eating a specially prepared bowl 🍲 of Lingzhi supernatural mushrooms back in the early 1890s.
She had offered some to her twin brother Sherlock but he had refused.
Thus Sherlock Holmes ended up kicking the bucket 🪣 🦶 in the 1930s.
When Dr. John Watson had approached his physician friend Arthur Conan Doyle about the proper way to market the exploits of his detective friend Sherlock Holmes, Doyle suggested that Watson publish the stories under his (Doyle’s) name.
That way many people might think that Sherlock Holmes was a fictional detective.
But those people who were helped by Holmes would realize that Sherlock was in fact a real life detective.
That would start endless speculation among the populace at large:
Was Sherlock Holmes fictional? Or was he real?
That enigmatic question Was Sherlock Holmes Man or Myth? would only lead to greater increase in the popularity of the Sherlock Holmes stories.
One thing Sherlock Holmes requested of the writing duo of Dr. John Watson and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was that they not mention that Sherlock had a twin sister Sherrielock Holmes.
It was all right mentioning that Sherlock Holmes had an older brother named Mycroft who was a high ranking official in the British government of the day.
But don’t mention Sherrielock Holmes, Sherlock begged.
Watson did mention Sherrielock once, but like Basil Fawlty in relationship to mentioning the War, he got away with it.
The reason Sherlock Holmes did not want it known that he had a twin sister named Sherrielock Holmes was because Sherrielock was a professional dominatrix.
Worse yet a professional dominatrix who had once owned a bordello brothel saloon in a ruckus causing Wild West town in Colorado during the 1880s in the days of the American Wild West (Belvedere who later became famous as the ghost of a Ghost White Salamander had worked as a bartender for Sherrielock Holmes in that saloon during the days that he was a mortal human).
Having a sister (worse yet a twin sister) who was a professional dominatrix who had once owned an American Wild West bordello brothel saloon would have been extremely embarrassing to Sherlock Holmes had those facts become known publicly.
Although most members of the Victorian and Edwardian era British House of Commons and British House of Lords had heard of Sherrielock Holmes since they were among her most constant clients.
Her client list included many members of the British cabinet and several standing Prime Ministers (who really were standing after a session with her).
Sherrielock Holmes was also the immortal great-grandmother of Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.
Sherrielock had been married to a French scientist Dr. Louis Rocher for 25 years from 1893 to 1918.
It was Louis who had prepared the special dish of Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms that had made Sherrielock immortal.
Someday Louis said he would eat such a dish (making him immortal) but he said he was going to wait.
He waited too long because he, as a member of the RAF, was shot down and killed by the Red Baron Manfred von Richthofen on April 20th 1918 (the day before the Red Baron Manfred von Richthofen was himself shot down and killed on April 21st 1918).
British MP Renfield R. Renfield had discovered that Sherrielock’s late husband Dr. Louis Rocher had been an illegitimate son of Sherlock Holmes’ arch enemy Prof. James Moriarty.
Thus Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher had both Holmes and Moriarty blood 🩸 in him with Sherlock Holmes having been his great uncle and Prof. James Moriarty his great great grandfather.
No wonder that Dr. Cadbury Rocher is the genius that he is.
Amadeus Emanon a friend of Sherrielock Holmes had been listening to his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s podcast.
Renfield had been podcasting from Vienna where he was attending a conference on behalf of the British government.
The past couple of days on his podcasts Renfield had been talking about the legend of the curse of the mummy’s tomb of King Tut.
The legend had begun 100 years ago yesterday (April 5th 1923) after George Edward Stanhope Molyneux Herbert the 5th Earl of Carnarvon (the financier of Howard Carter’s expedition that discovered King Tut’s tomb) had died from a fatal mosquito bite.
The legend of the curse of the mummy’s tomb of King Tut had blasted off with full force 100 years ago today (April 6th 1923) when Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (the man the world believed to be the creator of Sherlock Holmes) said that “an evil elemental brought into being by Egyptian occultism or the spirit of Tut might have caused the death of Lord Carnarvon” the man who, along with Howard Carter, had opened the tomb of King Tut.
Said Doyle, “The Egyptians knew a great deal more about these things (occultism and spiritualism) than we do.”
Doyle added, “One does not know what elementals existed in those days and how long those elementals existed and what might be their force.”
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle pointed out that if “they (the Egyptians) could put these elementals on guard over their dead bodies, they would certainly have done so.”
Doyle concluded, “Therefore I think it quite possible that Lord Carnarvon may have met his death through one of these elementals.”
After listening to the Renfield podcasts on this subject, Amadeus Emanon went to see Sherrielock Holmes.
Sherrielock was being photographed.
Then she had an appointment.
After she had finished spanking the living daylights out of errant British actor Hugh Grant, she then spoke to Amadeus.
“Do you know anything of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s research into elementals?” Amadeus asked.
“No, I don’t,” Sherrielock answered in the negative as she adjusted her skirt, “This will have to be dry cleaned. That bastard Hugh came all over it.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 6th
2023.
Dracul Van Helsing 
Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka and Dracul Van Helsing
April 28, 2023 at 9:42 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, love, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (Beautiful Tanaka, Dracul Van Helsing, Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka, Princess Tanaka, Sir Edward Grey, Tanaka, The Canadian Vampire Hunter Dracul Van Helsing, The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka)
The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka looks reflectively in the mirror upon hearing of the outbreak of the Great War that would become known to history as the First World War
At one point in her life (the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka became immortal after riding a ghost white buffalo back in the late 1870s) Tanaka had worked as personal secretary and stenographer to British Foreign Secretary Sir Edward Grey (the man who had been Britain’s Foreign Secretary at the outbreak of World War I).
She recalled very well the date of August 3rd 1914 when Sir Edward Grey had been busy in his office working the phones trying to prevent the outbreak of war in Europe.
By evening Grey knew his efforts wouldn’t succeed.
The next day Great Britain and its entire Empire of colonies around the world would declare war on Germany making it a World War and not just a European war.
It was getting dusk and the lamps were being lit in the park and the streets visible from the window of the Foreign Secretary’s office.
A journalist friend of Grey visiting the Foreign Secretary commented, “The street lamps are being lit.”
Grey replied, “The lamps are going out all over Europe and we shall not see them lit again in our lifetime.”
Tanaka, upon hearing those dreadful words, turned and looked at the reflection in the mirror by the office sink.
She walked home feeling very troubled in her soul and her spirit.
She saw a man standing against one of the street lamps.
The light seemed to be flickering on and off in the lamp.
Said the man, “Those lights have still not come on in my lifetime.”
Having said that, the man vanished.
He was Dracul Van Helsing time traveller from the future.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 28th
2023.
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