The Kim Yo-jong Van Helsing Encounter
The Kim Yo-jong Van Helsing Encounter
Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was meeting Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a popular London Fish N’ Chips shop called Cockney Kids Fish N’ Chips.
Van Helsing had just returned from Wales 🏴 where he had spent the entire week making out with Lepardia Marango who was the South African government’s Cultural Attaché in London.
Whitstable was still trying to recover from the shocking and totally unexpected news that North Korea’s Kim Jong-un had invited Donald Trump to meet with him and Trump had accepted.
Whitstable was convinced that there was something more at work here than just the diplomatic efforts of South Korea’s President Moon Jae-in.
“Dracul,” Whitstable wanted to know, “was there something more to your encounter with Kim Yo-jong than just finding out if she was a kumiho (a nine-tailed fox from Korean folklore and mythology who’s over a thousand years old and has the ability to shapeshift back and forth into a beautiful woman).”
“As Richard Dawkins is my witness,” Dracul answered, “there wasn’t.”
At that moment, the chef/owner of Cockney Kids Fish N’ Chips Shop immediately took the Today’s Special: All You Can Eat Fish and Chips sign off the counter as soon as he saw Amadeus Emanon walk through the door of the restaurant.
…
French President Emmanuel Macron was reading a report compiled by French Intelligence on whether the government of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad had been using chemical weapons against civilians in the Eastern Ghouta suburb.
He turned white when reading the report.
He immediately got on the phone ☎️ to U.S. President Donald Trump.
Meanwhile in the Oval Office, Donald Trump was reading an NSA (National Security Agency) report that was turning his orangish reddish toupee white.
The NSA was currently monitoring a blogger who ostensibly was writing a science-fiction novel on-line but DARPA was convinced that there was something more to it.
“Oh my Divine Self,” Trump exclaimed to an aide, “There may be the possibility that an illegal Japanese alien in this country is actually the Greek Gorgon Medusa in disguise.”
…
Meanwhile in his parliamentary office in Westminster, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was telling the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill over brandy, “I, an Opposition MP with only 2 seats for my Party in Parliament, have been invited by the Home Secretary Amber Rudd to a meeting of the government’s emergency committee Cobra tomorrow to discuss the nerve agent attacks on former Russian spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia Skripal.”
“Congratulations, Mr. Renfield,” Churchill raised his glass, “You appear to have arrived.”
…
Meanwhile back in his London apartment, Dracul Van Helsing received a phone call from Kim Yo-jong the younger sister of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.
“Dracul,” she said breathlessly, “Thank you for the gift. Wherever did you find an ancient Korean edition of the Kama Sutra?”.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 9th
2018.
Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec On New Year’s Eve
Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec On New Year’s Eve
Dressed in a lovely purple evening dress, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec waited for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to arrive to escort her to a New Year’s Eve ball.
Dracul arrived dressed in a tuxedo.
“Cocktails before we leave?” She asked.
“An excellent idea,” Dracul took off his top hat and cane.
As they downed a champagne cocktail, Qonzilqointec made a toast, “To the New Year.”
“To the New Year,” Dracul raised his glass.
Happy New Year, everyone.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 31st
2018.
Rose In The Snow: A Poem
Rose In The Snow: A Poem
As I was walking through the snow so clean and so bright
It was a crisp and frosty cold winter night
and there on the snow all around
was a single red rose lying on the ground.
I stood wrapping my cloak from the chill from the air
and looked at the blood red rose petals that lay there so bare
What was this that greeted my sight?
The sad result of some lovers’ fight?
Was this the final answer flung in some one’s face?
After someone decided a vase would be out of place?
Was this love now dead like this rose in the snow?
All that answered in the night was a cold wind’s blow.
-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday January 24th 2016.
