Yaldabaoth Meets A Bake-Danuki Tanuki

June 14, 2020 at 10:33 pm (Folklore, magic, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was in Geneva Switzerland visiting a friend of his Mittendorf Lesterius who was one of the garden gnomes of Zurich.

“What’s that a statue of?” Yaldabaoth pointed towards a statue.

“That’s a bake-danuki tanuki,” the garden gnome answered as he pulled millions of Swiss francs out of his trousers and started counting it.

“A what?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Well, a tanuki refers to a Japanese raccoon dog,” Mittendorf Lesterius explained, “The bake-danuki is a type of tanuki yokai (yokai is Japanese for supernatural beings) found in the classics and folklore and legends of Japan. Although the tanuki itself is a real existing animal, the bake-danuki of Japanese literature is a strange supernatural animal. They are able to shapeshift into other things or even people and can possess human beings. Most of the time though, this legendary tanuki the bake-danuki is reputed to be mischievous and jolly, a master of disguise and a shapeshifter, but somewhat gullible and absentminded.”

“So this statue then,” Yaldabaoth ate a bowl of Irish potatoes, “Is it a real statue or a bake-danuki tanuki in disguise?”.

“There’s one way to find out,” the garden gnome of Zurich smiled, “Pour some real Japanese sake over it.”

Mittendorf Lesterius poured sake over the statue and the statue came to life as a real bake-danuki tanuki.

The bake-danuki tanuki introduced himself as one Shogun Sake Kanasatake by name, grabbed a full bottle of sake and broke out into song,

Old comrades marching through the land
Forming steadfast and loyal friendships
Whether in need or in danger
They always hold together anew
During the attack, we will give them blow for blow
Honour and glory shall victory bring us
Let’s go, comrades, freshly reloaded (he helps himself to a 2nd bottle of sake)
This is our marching music (plays the accordion with his feet)
During the maneuver, the whole regiment accomodated
Itself in the headquarters of the nearest village house
And at the inn, there was flirting
With all the girls and especially the innkeeper’s daughter…

At that moment, a very Swiss looking gentleman wearing shorts and lederhosen approaches and shoots the bake-danuki tanuki in the buttocks.

The bake-danuki tanuki flees.

“I take it that was probably the innkeeper,” Yaldabaoth helped himself to a bottle of sake.

“You’re probably right,” the garden gnome of Zurich likewise helped himself to a bottle of sake.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 14th
2020.

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Alan Dershowitz and Sobek

May 25, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Science, Science-Fiction, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Alan Dershowitz and Sobek

Lawyer Alan Dershowitz was conducting a thought experiment.

He was imagining himself a defence lawyer at the Old Bailey in London in 1888, that Jack the Ripper had been caught and arrested and he Dershowitz had been asked to defend the Ripper.

He was playing in his mind his opening address to the jury at the start of the Ripper’s trial, “Members of the jury, I’d like to say a few words about my client who’s the noblest Briton of them all…”

His thought experiment was interrupted by a knock at the door.

He opened it and standing there was the Egyptian crocodile god Sobek.

Dershowitz had met Sobek on a few occasions before in the presence of a presumably late former client of his Jeffrey Epstein.

Epstein used to hang out with Sobek quite often that is when the pervert pedophile financier wasn’t busy hanging out with the likes of Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Donald Trump and Prince Andrew.

“Sobek,” Dershowitz smiled, “I haven’t seen you since Jeffrey allegedly hung himself in prison after he had knocked himself out and then tied a noose around his neck while still unconscious.”

“Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end,” Sobek quoted old Mary Hopkin lyrics to the attorney.

“What brings you here?” Dershowitz waved the crocodile over to an arm chair in his living room.

“I’d like to thank you for giving those Christians a hard time who think that a mandatory vaccine could be the Mark of the Beast system prophesied in the Book of Revelation Chapter 13,” Sobek sat down and helped himself to some pretzels from an appetizer dish on the coffee table.

“It was no problem,” Dershowitz lit himself a cigar and offered one to the crocodile god which Sobek accepted, “I called their bluff by saying “We all know that the Devil can cite Scripture to his purposes.” And then I proceeded to bolster my own argument by doing just that. Citing an obscure passage in the Book of Leviticus (Chapters 12 and 13 to be precise) which nobody bothers to read anymore save the occasional old fashioned Calvinist and occasional old fashioned Presbyterian who are totally obsessed with blood and gore and all manner of obscure long winded regulations. Heck even most religious Jews don’t bother reading it anymore since we no longer do living animal sacrifices in the contemporary Israelite religion. I myself am a secular inclined Jew. I suppose if I were religious, I might belong to the Synagogue of Satan that Christ and Saint John the Apostle warned about.”

“Glad to hear it,” Sobek blew smoke rings in the shape of Nile River bulrushes.

“Why are you so into mandatory vaccines?” Dershowitz asked.

“Well our friend Jeffrey was into mandatory vaccines,” Sobek smiled showing his perfectly snow white teeth.

“That I didn’t know,” Dershowitz poured a brandy and offered one to Sobek which the crocodile god accepted, “what type of vaccine was he into developing?”.

“It could be used for anything actually,” Sobek sipped his brandy, “He was intending to use administering the vaccine as a cover for something else.”

“And what would that be?” Dershowitz inquired.

“To change people’s DNA,” Sobek answered.

“I knew Jeffrey was obsessed with the idea of creating a master race,” Dershowitz moved a chess piece on a board next to him, “My cousin Anna’s best friend Rachel’s rabbi Goldbloom didn’t approve because it reeked of the Nazis Heinrich Himmler and Adolf Eichmann and their work.”

“Jeffrey was investigating cases where alleged UFO abductees were supposedly given alien implants aboard the UFOs they were taken,” Sobek explained.

Dershowitz looked on in horror as an invisible opponent captured his Queen.

He then looked over at Sobek.

“That I didn’t know,” Dershowitz swallowed his cigar and had to wash it down with brandy, “Jeffrey was always full of surprises.”

“Some doctors did find strange implants in the bodies of a few alleged UFO abductees,” Sobek pointed out, “And what these implants had in common was they were slowing changing the DNA of the abductees.”

“To what?” Dershowitz asked.

“Jeffrey wasn’t sure,” Sobek shrugged, “But it was something not human. His research came to an abrupt end when he was arrested and later suicided in prison.”

“I take it Jeffrey was wanting to administer these DNA changing implants to people,” Dershowitz moved a white bishop on the board.

“He was,” Sobek nodded, “But he realized most people, like the abductees aboard the alien craft, would probably object to having these implants. So he thought they could be administered as an extra bonus. Like say with a mandatory vaccine.”

“I wonder if Jeffrey ever discussed his plans with Bill Gates,” Dershowitz played with his white bishop and a black king’s knight as he looked over at the TV screen and it was showing some old news footage of Bill Gates meeting Pope Francis a few years back.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 25th
2020.

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Sanhedrin Say Performing Passover Sacrifice Can End Covid-19 Pandemic

April 6, 2020 at 10:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, magic, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Sanhedrin Say Performing Passover Sacrifice Can End Covid-19 Pandemic

At a press conference today dealing with how the New Zealand government is battling the Coronavirus pandemic, New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced that she had declared both “the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny are essential workers” and that the children of New Zealand should not be worried that the pair are at all affected by the pandemic.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, watching the New Zealand Prime Minister’s press conference on television, remarked, “Jacinda must have finally smoked that complimentary piece of legalized Canadian cannabis that I sent her.”

. . .

Barbados Prime Minister Mia Mottely was forced to announce that 20 ventilators destined for Barbados as part of an act of philanthropy pledged by Barbados born international pop star Rihanna were seized by the United States.

Shortly after Prime Minister Mottely’s announcement, U.S. President Donald Trump was sitting at his desk in the Oval Office when he was suddenly hit with a cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity.

“What’s with all these cream pies in the face lately?” Trump cried out, “And to top it off, it was laced with Mexican tacos and salsa sauce and guacamole cream. I hate anything Mexican.”

Trump then had Corona beer poured all over him by the same invisible entity.

“Now I’ve been hit by Corona,” Trump cried out.

Men wearing hazmat suits then entered the Oval Office and carried Trump off to a place where he could be quarantined.

. . .

Rihanna was social distancing at a closed astronomical observatory and livestreaming on line.

It was nighttime and as she sang, “Shine bright like a diamond… We’re like diamonds in the sky”, a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit holding a magic lantern film projector (that had been worked on by Houdini, Pantages, Nikola Tesla, Orson Welles and Hedy Lamarr) making him visible to people without them needing to drink Harvey Wallbangers, appeared peering through the glass at the top of the open air telescope and waved at the livestream viewing audience.

. . .

The Israeli Sanhedrin has petitioned both Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and U.S. President Donald Trump to allow the Passover Sacrifice to occur on the Temple Mount.

The Pesach sacrifice has not taken place on the Temple Mount in nearly 2000 years.

“The only thing preventing the Jewish people from performing the Passover sacrifice is the Israeli government,” Rabbi Hillel Weiss the spokesman for the Sanhedrin said.

Added Rabbi Weiss, “We are proposing bringing a temporary altar for one day to sacrifice one lamb for the entire Jewish nation.”

Dov Stein the Secretary to the Court of the Sanhedrin in Jerusalem Israel had written a letter to both Benjamin Netanyahu and Donald Trump asking for the ceremony to be performed.

Stein wrote in his letter to both men that if the sacrifice of the Passover lamb occurred in the spring feast beginning at sundown on Wednesday April 8th 2020 or Nisan 14th 5780 (Hebrew calendar), this would put an end to the Covid-19 pandemic that was currently a modern day plague on humanity.

. . .

Meanwhile in the intensive care unit of a U.S. Naval Hospital, Donald Trump was protesting that, unlike Britain’s Prime Minister Boris Johnson, he did not have the Coronavirus.

Meanwhile a creature who did not have a head but had the arms and torso of a man and had two slithering serpents for legs was running around the Donald’s bed.

The creature finally went under the bed and re-emerged with the head of a rooster that it then put on its human torso’s shoulders.

“You must forgive me for running around like a chicken with its head cut off,” the rooster headed creature apologized, “But that’s exactly what happened. Pan Goatee who had taken too many of the notorious Australian Uncle Ernie’s Chemicals of The Day thought I was an ugly looking woman and so cut my head off.”

“Who the Hell are you?” Trump asked.

“I’m the ancient Gnostic god Abraxas,” the creature replied, “And I want you to tell Netanyahu that he should allow the Sanhedrin to go ahead with its Passover Pascal lamb sacrifice this coming Wednesday.”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday April 6th
2020.

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Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

March 26, 2020 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having a conversation with British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Both men were 6 meters away from one another so they wouldn’t be shot by killer drones recently commandeered by WHO (the World Health Organization) for those who violated the world body’s social distancing rules.

Athelstan was also wearing a face mask.

Although whether this was because he feared getting the Coronavirus or because he had just cleaned out the kitty litter box belonging to Nefertiti Galore (the vampire Set’s fiercely protective house cat) is a matter for speculation.

“So, Mr. Renfield,” Athelstan coughed through his face mask, “I hear that Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam issued an Executive Order this past Monday making it a criminal offense to hold a Church service with more than 10 people present. If found guilty, people could be imprisoned for 12 months and/or fined $2,500.”

“I imagine,” Renfield lit his pipe, “that the Baal and Baphomet worshipping Marxist despot Ralph Northam was positively ejaculating in ecstasy and orgasm at being able to sign such an Executive Order. I don’t imagine he’ll ever bother rescinding it even when the pandemic is over.”

“Probably not, sir,” Athelstan dusted off a portrait painting of the late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher dressed in a medieval Iron Maiden torture chamber item suit, “Did you hear that Pope Francis’ personally designated papal successor Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle is saying let’s overcome the Coronavirus with a pandemic of love?”.

“Well,” Renfield sipped his pipe, “Isn’t that jackass just the epitome of romance?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was flying a magic shamrock flying carpet from his rented farmhouse in Vermont to New York City.

Yaldabaoth had recently left Ireland after that country had closed all its pubs (As Yaldabaoth remarked at the time, “You know a world situation is serious when it forces Ireland to close all its pubs.”)

He had gone to Vermont hoping that the pubs would be open.

Many of them were closed but lucky for Yaldabaoth, there were plenty of Vermont country gentlemen who made their own moonshine.

Yaldabaoth rented his Vermont farmstead from another Irish leprechaun The Fantastic Flanigan.

The Fantastic Flanigan had the honour of being the world’s shortest UFC fighter.

He also had the honour of being the world’s only always defeated UFC fighter.

Generally all the other UFC fighters used the Fantastic Flanigan as practice for the day the old medieval sport of dwarf tossing was once again brought back into the world.

It so happened that the Fantastic Flanigan owned a flying carpet (made from magic shamrocks) so he had left it behind in the barn for Yaldabaoth to use.

Flanigan was currently spending his social isolation time at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

As Yaldabaoth approached New York City, he was shocked to see the Big Apple surrounded by an army of Dullahans (A Dullahan was a black horse riding headless horseman of death).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 26th
2020

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The Storyteller: Weaving Cloth and Spinning A Tale

March 19, 2020 at 10:17 pm (Fantasy, Literature, magic, Poetry, Romance) ()

The Storyteller: Weaving Cloth and Spinning A Tale 

Outside the world spins on its axis
As she spins cloth in actual praxis
In her mind she spins tales 
like mermaid meeting whales 

Fairies and butterflies sit on shelves
While her goldfish bowl swims with elves
Harlequin dolls on floors watch the cloth being weaved
As magic falls seamlessly out of her sleeve 

For her mind is full of tales never told
of magical creatures and maidens bold
In a land she imagines where love ne’er grows old 
Where knights shine and evil giants fold

Her old phonograph plays songs of yesteryear
Where sometimes those lyric memories can bring forth a tear 
Her window on the world becomes a magic mirror 
Where dark things are far but hope is nearer 
Outside ships may burn and conquering dirigibles fly
While she entertains her fairy 
audience with sweet lullaby 

Sometimes in dark times, one has to stay home
But for a mind such as hers, she has a whole world to roam

-A poem written by Christopher
Thursday March 19th 2020

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Leadership In Troubled Times: Light In Dark Ages

March 16, 2020 at 10:04 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Literature, love, magic, Movies, Music, music videos, Romance) ()

Leadership In Troubled Times: Light In Dark Ages

This was a photo montage music video I made back in 2009.

It is my personal favourite of all the photo montage music videos I made between 2008 and 2012 in those days when I still had a working desktop PC and was able to make them.

-Christopher

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The Magician and The Illusion

February 7, 2020 at 11:24 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, magic, Poetry, Romance) ()

The Magician and The Illusion

The magician ended up with a black eye 
His illusion went astray
The audience saw right through him 
and one patron let him know there’s Hell to pay

But his loyal and sexy assistant remains at his side
Offering him arms of comfort
As at the back of a wagon they hitch a ride

And next to them the old carnival barker sits
His bark definitely worse than his bite
And this circus must plain hit the road out of people’s sight 

The road to Oz was much like this 
Behind the curtain lay smoke and mirrors 
But Kansas whirlwinds and melting witches 
Led to the worst of a wizard’s fears 

Sometimes magic acts fall apart 
Sometimes the illusion will not hold 
But when it does and grips a land
dark history will unfold

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday February 7th
2020.

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Willard 1971 Film Characters Show Up In The Year of The Rat

January 25, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, Film, magic, Movies, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Willard 1971 Film Characters Show Up In The Year of The Rat

“When was this photo taken?” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked art gallery owner Dashwood Forrest as he held a martini (stirred not shaken) at an exhibition of the photographs that never made it into LIFE Magazine during the years of its existence.

“Sometime in the 1950s in Havana, Cuba,” Forrest answered.

“That’s a zombie isn’t it?” Renfield inquired.

“It is,” Forrest replied as he accepted the cocktail drink called the Zombie that was handed to him by his living dead walking dead Irish manservant Mulligan the Irish zombie.

Dead skeleton meets living dead Zombie.

. . .

Krampus the demon-goat of old Bavaria and the old Austro-Hungarian Empire received an elegantly written handwritten note from his friend the genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee (who specialized in killing ugly women) complaining about the vast number of ugly women living in the City of Calgary.

Krampus decided to help his friend out.

He went to a Calgary repertory theatre that were showing the 1971 American horror film Willard (about a young man who trains rats to eat people) to mark the start of the new Chinese lunar new year The Year of the Rat that begins today.

It was the sort of thing that a city like Calgary known for its brainless white Caucasian males (with the exception of Pan Goatee as well as a journalist/historian/geopolitical analyst who lived on a medical disability pension) and its hideous repulsively ugly Caucasian white females (of which sadly there were very few exceptions) would put on to mark the start of a Chinese New Year that called itself the Year of The Rat.

Krampus went to the theatre and calling upon an ancient spell from an ancient Aztec copy of The Necronomicon brought the rats to life off the movie screen and into the theatre where they proceeded to eat the brainless white men and the ugly white women.

After vomiting their unsatisfactory meals into the theatre toilets and urinals, the rats then went running out into the streets of Calgary.

Fortunately a former Neo-Nazi (who this morning had become a born again non-white supremacist after seeing how ugly the white women of Calgary were thus showing the idea of whites being the master race to be a total lie) had already left the downtown core and so avoided being eaten by the rats.

Pan Goatee meanwhile was entering his nearby shopping mall food court.

Approaching from the direction of the public library was an ugly looking white woman who looked like a hideous medieval cathedral gargoyle sporting an Afro.

“Cultural appropriation again, eh, you pathetic blemish on the peas in the garden of Mendelian genetics,” Goatee remarked as he beheaded the creature and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

As he walked away, no dark glasses wearing and barf bag wearing Hounds of Hell showed up.

As they were all being treated for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from trying to environmentally dispose of Goatee’s uglocidal victims the other day.

Goatee went inside the food court where he was enjoying a Vietnamese submarine sandwich and a Lebanese donair style pizza.

Unfortunately for him, the most hideously ugly thin stoat sized white woman in all recorded history walked by and walked around the food court.

Goatee immediately cut up the ugly woman into 999 trillion pieces without bothering to behead her first.

He put on Welder’s glasses and put his astral laser machete on slow-mo (for slow motion) to take its time on cutting up the ugly looking creature into tiny pieces.

Using the Michtlantecuhtli tempus suspendendi ray, Goatee was able to withhold death from ending the uglo’s agony until such time as the 999 trillionth piece fell to the floor.

“How am I going to clean up this mess?” The food court janitor asked as he arrived on the scene.

His answer soon became apparent with the arrival of hundreds of thousands of rats who appeared and proceeded to eat up the Guinness Book of World Records holding uglo thin sized stoat award winner.

Another group of hundreds of thousands of rats went into the washroom where they vomited up the remains of the white uglo looking gargoyle with the Afro they had encountered and eaten outside.

Well so far today, Goatee had encountered an uglo looking gargoyle and an uglo looking stoat.

All that was needed to totally ruin his day was for him to encounter a fat ugly blimp.

That happened as soon as he went outside to cross the street to the bus stop in front of the high school.

There approaching him was a fat ugly blimp with her stupid looking brainless white boyfriend (with lousy taste in women).

Goatee beheaded the blimp as well as her stupid boyfriend.

He cut up both uglo and brainless boyfriend into 999 trillion pieces each.

He wasn’t sure what 999 trillion x 2 was as he had left his antique Chinese abacus at home.

He wondered if it would have taken him awhile to figure out that particular multiplication.

Oh well, he wouldn’t worry about it, he thought as he headed for home.

Up on the roof of the high school, Socrates and Ben the two mastermind rats who lead the band of rats in the 1971 film Willard were busy examining the satellite TV dish at the top of the high school as there were no satellite TV dishes on top of high schools back in the era of 1971.

. . .

The demon Mephistopheles to the Norse goddess Hel: I wonder what the Year of the Rat will bring, my dear?

. . .

Yaya Han the Chinese leprechaun had a combined Chinese Lunar New Year/Robbie Burns Day dinner celebration with Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

They had sweet and sour haggis as a Beijing wrestler wearing a little known Ming Dynasty tartan style kilt recited Robbie Burns’ Address To A Haggis before plunging the ancient Chinese dagger into the haggis.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Saturday January 25th
2020.

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Sherry and The Unicorn

September 15, 2019 at 10:55 pm (Commentary, Folklore, History, Inspiration, Life, love, magic, Mythology, Nature, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural) (, , )

Sherry and The Unicorn

The golden colours of autumn
Shone brightly around the hills and trees
As Sherry set out from her beautiful rustic old farmstead and grounds

Autumn was her favourite time of year she reflected 
As a cool autumn breeze blew gently through her dark hair

Sherry loved to go on evening walks 
Sometimes alone
Or with her dog 
Or one of her children 

Tonight she was alone 
Alone to contemplate 
And silently communicate with both God and Nature
Which was one of her favourite past times 
Contemplating and communicating with both God and Nature

She set out on the path
That would take her along the river
And by the woods

In her eyes both peace and sadness
Peace from communicating with God and nature 
Sadness from the night her nearly 3 year old daughter died from pneumonia 
In her arms 
On the night when the worst March snowstorm of the century hit Western Europe 
And ambulances were unable to get through the snow drifts 
To reach the farm stead 
And rush the girl to hospital

Sherry gave the impression of one who had lived a thousand lives
For her eyes seemed to reflect the wisdom of one who had

She had been born in the Malaysian province of Sarawak
On the island of Borneo
Through her veins flowed the blood of the Iban 
Who were the famed Head Hunters of Borneo
Whose exploits and ferocity 
Were the stuff of folk lore 
But were now a gentle and loving people 
Since the light of Christ had been brought to them

Also the blood of the Malay flowed through her veins
The people who gave Malaysia its name

On her father’s side she had both Chinese and Japanese ancestry 
For her paternal grandfather and paternal grandmother had a Romeo and Juliet style love story
But one with a happy ending

Her grandfather was Japanese 
Having been born into a noble Japanese Samurai family 
Of one of the many Samurai clans that existed throughout Japan
And still existed prior to Gen. MacArthur’s governorship of the country in the post-World War II years

Now those mighty Samurai clans existed only in history books and ancestral family stories 
And of course Hollywood and Japanese films 

But her grandfather a noble Samurai knight 
Had fallen in love with a Chinese woman
In a time period when the Samurai clans had fallen under the sway of Tojo
And an extreme militaristic form of Shintoism 
Whose Japanese master race theories about Japanese racial superiority among Asians
Were matching Hitler’s German racial superiority theories about 
German racial superiority 
Among the peoples of Europe 

So it would not do for a Japanese samurai knight 
To fall in love with a Chinese woman
And worse still as far as his family and clan 
were concerned-
He wanted to marry her!

Keep her as a kept woman if you must 
His immediate male family members told him
But do not, under any circumstances, marry her.

But this noble Samurai knight was truly noble by nature 
And not noble in name only.
He married the woman he loved-
A woman of China!

The result was the the pronouncement of a Japanese Samurai clan’s equivalent 
Of an Iranian ayatollah’s fatwa-
A death edict for both the Samurai 
And his bride!

The couple fled as far away from the reach of the Samurai clans as they could get
To the island of Borneo!

And many years later Sherry was born
The granddaughter of these star-crossed lovers

Sherry was teased as a child
Because the village because of the darkness of her eyes 
Thought her the reincarnation 
Of the River serpent woman
Who haunted her village and family folklore
A great great great grandmother several generations back in her Iban family tree 
Who had a human body for the top part 
But a serpent body for the bottom part of her body

It was said the River serpent woman 
had extremely dark eyes
And Sherry had the darkest eyes of any female currently living in her family

But that was Sherry’s past
And the sights of autumn and deer
And rabbits and squirrels was Sherry’s present

The unicorn sat down in the clearing of the woods
A magical and enchanting creature 
In an age where the only magic and enchanting were done by dark beings
And therefore magical enchanting creatures of God were rarely seen

Of course the Unicorn being an essentially shy creature preferred it this way
Being able to walk the woods and hills freely without being gaped at by other creatures
Particularly those creatures with 2 arms and 2 legs and ten fingers and 10 toes who seemed to be particularly fond of gaping 
Particularly those who carried those annoying little objects in their hands
And were always emitting flashes of light at themselves 
Particularly as they stood alongside other creatures 

The unicorn looked up 
And then paused
For one of those creatures 
He was just thinking about
Was standing on the other side of the River 
And looking at him.

The unicorn thought about turning to run
He turned its gaze back to the creature
And the creature did something odd for this type of creature 
Instead of getting closer to get a better look at him
The creature sat down on the banks of the River 
And just looked 

Not an annoying look either 
Just a contemplative look 
It was not eying the Unicorn either for dinner or emitting a flash 
From an object in its hand 
Just a gentle look 
A look that seemed to acknowledge 
The Unicorn as a fellow subject 
Rather than an object to be simply gaped at
For the sake of gaping 

The creature on the other side of the River then smiled at the Unicorn
That was it!
A simple smile
It seemed to be a kind smile 
The Unicorn thought
Not a nasty or self-absorbed smile
That too often seemed to accompany the countenance
Of creatures like these

For some reason the Unicorn felt inclined to cross the River 
On the other bank now 
As the Unicorn stood 
He noticed the creature with the kind smile 
Had still not made any movement towards it-
The Unicorn.

The Unicorn approached and bowed its head and horn within inches of the creature with the kind smile 
The creature with the kind smile gently patted his head and horn 
And smiled some more.
The Unicorn gave the creature its own kind smile 
And walked back across the River and then into the woods from whence it came.

When she returned home, some of her children called out to Sherry,
“Did you have a good walk, Mom?”.

“Yes, I did,” Sherry nodded as she took off her coat, “A very good walk.”

“Did you see anything?” The children asked.

“Yes,” Sherry smiled, “I saw some deer. And some rabbits and a squirrel.”

Sherry put her finger to her lips and mused aloud, “And let’s see. What else did I see?”.

Then she thought some more and then smiled, “Oh yes. And I saw a Unicorn.”

“Oh, Mom!” The children giggled and laughed.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday September 15th
2019.

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Dashwood Forrest, The Empty Portrait and Hurricane Dorian

September 3, 2019 at 11:01 pm (Aesthetics, Art, Arts, Fantasy, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Philosophy, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Dashwood Forrest, The Empty Portrait and Hurricane Dorian

Dashwood Forrest sat in his office in his art gallery in London and quietly sipped a drink of absinthe.

The Green Fairy as it was called was one of the favourite drinks of his idol the writer, novelist, poet and playwright Oscar Wilde.

Forrest’s living dead Irish manservant Mulligan the Irish zombie (who had been brought back from the dead many years ago by South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo) was out for the evening.

Mulligan had been hired for the evening by British MP Renfield R. Renfield to haunt the residence of British Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn and stand outside the back entrance of Corbyn’s lodgings and say in a spookily haunting zombie voice (with an Irish lilt to it), “The Irish backstop ends at your back door, Mr. Corbyn. The Irish backstop ends at your backdoor.”

As Jeremy Corbyn began to suffer the worst nightmares of his life, Forrest finished his glass of absinthe, left his office and locked it.

He walked down to the end of the gallery where he entered a room marked PRIVATE.

No one (not even Mulligan the Irish zombie) ever entered that room.

Only he Dashwood Forrest art historian, art gallery curator and extraordinary gentleman of many talents ever entered that room.

For that room contained a portrait behind purple velvet curtains.

A portrait of a man.

A portrait of a man painted in the year 1860.

A portrait that was first mentioned in a book published in July 1890.

A book that most people (and even Dashwood Forrest himself for most of his life) had considered a work of fiction.

Until Forrest came across the painting in an estate sale back in October of 2012.

The picture was of a man named… Dorian Gray.

And the artist who signed the picture was named Basil Hallward.

The painting was of an extremely handsome young man in his early 20s.

Exactly as described in Oscar Wilde’s famous Gothic Philosophical novel of the 19th Century- The Picture of Dorian Gray.

Forrest drew back the purple velvet curtains that covered the painting and hid it from view.

Forrest got the shock of his life when he saw the portrait was empty.

There was no subject in the painting.

Dorian Gray was gone.

. . .

Forrest stared blankly at the blank canvas and blinked.

His smart phone went off.

It was a text message from his friend Amadeus Emanon.

A Set Enterprises satellite over the Bahamas had photographed the eye of the storm of Hurricane Dorian.

And a giant mysterious almost human figure seemed to be standing and moving with the eye of the storm in the hurricane.

Forrest again blinked.

For the figure was the spitting image of Dorian Gray.

The figure now missing from the painting.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Tuesday September 3rd
2019.


Sibyl: She loved Dorian in vain.

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