The Cat People and The Wolfman
Simone Simon as Irena Dubrovna the black panther shapeshifting cat woman New York City based Serbian born and raised fashion illustrator who tore a psychiatrist to pieces with her claws
Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish Church in West London was meeting with one of his parishioners the world-famous concert pianist Amadeus Emanon in his vicarage kitchen who was enjoying the homemade cinnamon buns made by Father Aidan’s housekeeper Mrs. Lancaster.
Amadeus Emanon was already on his 36th cinnamon bun.
“Do you suppose Mrs. Lancaster might make some more?” Amadeus asked as he looked at the now empty plate.
“Well I do believe it takes awhile to make those cinnamon buns,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds explained, “plus I think she’s currently busy listening to your friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Wednesday night podcast.”
From upstairs in Mrs. Lancaster’s bedroom could be heard the voice of Renfield R. Renfield saying, “Wow. What a shocker. The cocaine snorting editors of Britain’s The Economist Magazine are calling for cocaine use to be legalized.”
“You know,” Amadeus helped himself to a gingerbread cookie man that Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds brought him from the refrigerator, “Renfield was telling me that Russian President Vladimir Putin hired a Siberian shaman to go to New York City and raise from the dead the body of the Serbian cat woman Irena Dubrovna. As Miss Dubrovna’s spirit has graduated from Purgatory to Paradise, she won’t be returning to her body. However a famous homicidally inclined Byzantine mermaid Echidna Antiochus who was put to death on the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I’s orders has had her spirit granted a dispensational release from the Underworld by Hades and has taken possession of Irena Dubrovna’s body.
She is going to Kiev Ukraine as an ally of Putin and will be using Irena Dubrovna’s body to turn into a black panther to rip apart bodies of Ukrainians because the demon Moloch appearing as Saint Michael the Archangel has told Vladimir Putin that it’s the right thing to do.”
“How horrifying,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds made the Sign of the Cross.
Father Aidan’s making the Sign of the Cross caused a Calvinist street preacher standing on the sidewalk outside the vicarage to drop dead.
“The thing is,” Amadeus scratched his head, “I always thought the 1942 film The Cat People starring Simone Simon was a work of fiction. I didn’t think it was based on a real incident and I didn’t think Irena Dubrovna was a real actual person.”
“Well, it turns out,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds checked out a passage in the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work (written before he died) Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film, “that there really was an Irena Dubrovna in the late 1930s and that what happened in the film was true.”
“Wow,” Amadeus Emanon walked over to the refrigerator and brought out the entire plate of gingerbread men cookies that he then started eating, “Next thing you know you’ll be telling me that there really was a werewolf called Larry Talbot and that the classic 1941 Universal Pictures monster horror film called The Wolfman that starred Lon Chaney Jr., Claude Rains and Evelyn Ankers was based on something that actually happened in real life.”
“Well, actually,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds cleared his throat, “I can tell you that Larry Talbot did actually exist and what happened in the 1941 film The Wolfman was true and I don’t need to consult the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film to determine that. For it turns out my grandfather the Anglican clergyman Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds was the curate of Saint Magloire’s Church in Llanwelly Wales near Talbot Castle at the time Larry Talbot arrived in the village to flirt with Gwen Conliffe the daughter of the village antique shop owner and to get bitten by Bela the gypsy fortune telling werewolf.”
“Really?” Amadeus paused in the middle of eating his 6th gingerbread man cookie.
“Yes,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds nodded, “As an interesting postscript to the film which ended with Larry Talbot getting killed by his own wolf’s head silver cane walking stick wielded by Larry’s father Sir John Talbot, the Talbot Castle game keeper Frank Andrews (played by actor Patric Knowles in the film), who was Gwen Conliffe’s fiance, ended up getting killed by a wererabbit bunny rabbit that had apparently been originally bitten by Larry Talbot. After the Saint Magloire’s Church exorcism team made Welsh rarebit out of the Welsh wererabbit, after an appropriate period of mourning for the late departed Mr. Andrews, Gwen Conliffe ended up marrying the young curate Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds. So Gwen Conliffe is actually my grandmother.”
“Holy fuck,” Amadeus Emanon commented.
Mrs. Lancaster came down the stairs and washed Amadeus Emanon’s mouth out with soap.
. . .
Outside 10 Downing Street, Larry the 10 Downing Street cat was chasing away the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow and his spectral black horse.
Inside 10 Downing Street, former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was trying to convince current British Prime Minister Liz Truss to hire a witch doctor or shaman to raise the famous Wolfman werewolf Larry Talbot from the dead in the Llanwelly Village Cemetery in Wales and send him to eastern Ukraine to eat and devour Russian soldiers.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 12th
2022.
Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers) among the gypsies
Renfield R. Renfield Shows A Movie Trailer On His Podcast
British MP Renfield R. Renfield would be showing a movie trailer for a global blockbuster new movie on his Monday night podcast.
Fans of the Renfieldian podcast wondered what new movie he’d be showing a trailer for.
So they tuned in to find out.
Said Renfield, “This is a trailer I’ve written, directed and produced myself.
My friend the ghost of Orson Welles is doing the voice-over narration for the trailer.”
Renfield then showed the trailer.
Narrator and movie trailer announcer: For all those of you who were frightened to death by CORONAVIRUS (released in the autumn of 2019) and were so frightened you spent time locked inside your houses isolated and alone and quarantined from the rest of the world driving small businesses, family owned grocery stores and neighbourhood locally owned restaurants into bankruptcy while Amazon, Walmart, Costco and Big Pharma made grossly huge and obscenely excessive profits, the makers of CORONAVIRUS (2019) are pleased to bring you this spring MONKEYPOX: The Sequel.
Bill Gates is back in his role as the billionaire oligarch who wants to reduce the world’s population to 500 million people as it is written on the mysterious and suspiciously erected Georgia Guidestones.
Klaus Schwab reprises his role as the German engineer who wants to bring you a totalitarian One World Government and have everyone either dead or turned into a robotic cyborg by the year 2030.
George Soros returns as the nauseatingly annoying pipsqueak of a billionaire who engages in such evil endeavours because he’s… well… just plain evil.
Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus is back in his supporting role as the non-medical doctor doctor Tigray People’s Liberation Front Neo-Maoist head of WHO- the World Health Organization- controlled and owned by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Big Pharma and the Chinese Communist Party although that fact is not mentioned and advertised on their letterhead stationery.
Joe Biden puts in a cameo appearance as the diaper wearing senile old fool who wants to give WHO absolute global control over managing the health policy of every nation on the planet.
And Kamala Harris puts in a cameo appearance as a dumbed down version of the villainess Madame Defarge from Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities as she cackles her way through television interviews in which she sings the praises of child sacrifice to Baal and Moloch.
Dr. Anthony Fauci guest stars as the evil mad scientist (so beloved by the brainless mainstream media) who relishes in telling every American citizen what to do and how to follow the science even though the science Dr. Fauci follows changes hour by hour.
Jorge Mario Bergoglio is back in his supporting role as the Satanic AntiPope Francis who tells his flock to take whatever vaccine Bill Gates and company is offering them even if it kills them.
Announcer and Trailer Narrator (in very sinister tones): Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
Because that’s what the brainless mainstream media wants you to be…
Announcer and trailer narrator (in very bold and grandly eloquent overdramatic tones): MONKEYPOX: The Sequel.
Coming soon to a planet of nutcases and morons near you.
-A Renfieldian movie trailer
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 23rd
2022.
Sophia Loren, Yvonne de Carlo and Gina Lollobrigida will not be appearing in this turkey of a film
Ghost of Orson Welles Dreams He’s Directing Marilyn Monroe In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice
Marilyn Monroe appeared in Orson Welles’ dream this evening
The ghost of Orson Welles was fast asleep in his favourite armchair in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London mansion.
Earlier this evening Orson Welles had been giving British MP Renfield R. Renfield advice on how to respond to last week’s World Government Summit in Dubai.
At the World Government Summit, World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab called for One World Government to be implemented immediately.
Also at the World Government Summit in Dubai last week, economist Dr. Pippa Malmgren, who served as Special Economic Policy advisor to America’s scumbag Neo-Conservative President George W. Bush, called for a global Digital Currency.
Under her plan all forms of cash would be scrapped to be replaced by a global digital currency administered by a One World Government.
Back in Canada the moronic Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau said that any talk of an impending world government was just a conspiracy theory.
Castro’s low-IQ Canadian son was immediately hit in the face with a poison mushroom cream pie thrown by the invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka purple bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.
On behalf of Renfield, the ghost of Orson Welles directed a commercial warning of the dangers of a One World Government and a global Digital Currency.
In the commercial Orson had the ghost of Charles Laughton playing a high-tech digital age Roman Emperor Caligula arguing on the need for a global Digital Currency.
Laughton played an insane power mad Caligula perfectly.
As Caligula had the rear end of his horse marched into the chambers of the U.S. Senate to take his seat, the chief priest of the Galli (the eunuch transgendered priests of the cult of the goddess Cybele in ancient Rome) named Jorgaius Marius Bergoglius Franciscus (who was played by the ghost of Truman Capote) called on the need for everyone to accept the Digital Currency.
Jorgaius Marius Bergoglios Franciscus screamed his head off as the Commander of the Praetorian Guard (played by the ghost of Vincent Price) burnt a mark into the forehead and right hand of the transgendered priest prelate.
“You now have the Digital Currency mark,” the Praetorian Guard Commander smiled, “Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand…”
Orson Welles was now dreaming of directing Marilyn Monroe in his own film adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.
Marilyn Monroe playing Elizabeth Bennett waits on the bottom stairs for Mr. Darcy to show up.
But who was playing Mr. Darcy?
Welles woke up at that point.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 6th
2022.
Renfield’s Monday Night Podcast and Michelangelo’s Vision of Renfield At Future Oscars
Violinist Tina Guo is performing with the Hans Zimmer Live Tour over in Europe
Hans Zimmer won Best Musical Score for the movie Dune at last night’s Oscars
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Monday night podcast.
Said Renfield, “A few days ago senile old fool Joe Biden was in Poland shooting his mouth off about “freedom” and “liberty”.
What does a vaccinazi despot like Joe Biden know about “freedom” and “liberty” when he wanted to impose a national vaccine mandate on all of America?
The senile old fool Joe Biden also called for “Putin to be removed from power”. There’s nothing like tellng the leader of a rival nuclear power that you want him removed from power.
Of course Joe Biden’s handlers want nuclear war with Russia.
That way they can reduce the world’s population without waiting for those vaccine booster shots to kick in.
Although they are doing an excellent job in my own country of England.
British government data shows that 92.2% of all Covid deaths are among the triple vaccinated.
And last week Eastern European members of the European Parliament gave visiting Canadian Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau the raspberry that he so richly deserved.
Romanian and Croatian MEPs mentioned how he sent police horses to trample peaceful protestors and then passed an Emergencies Act so that he could seize the bank accounts of people whose political views he disagreed with.
This is the stuff of dictatorship the Romanian and Croatian MEPs pointed out (who were all too familiar with Communist dictators in their own countries).
Even the Presidents of both El Salvador and Honduras have called Justin Trudeau a despot and a dictator for sending police horses to trample protestors and for seizing bank accounts.
Personally I think Justin Trudeau should be publicly hanged by the neck until dead and his Nazi/Communist hybrid hag henchwoman Chrystia Freeland should be burnt at the stake as a witch.
Failing that, both of them should be charged with high treason against the Charter of Rights in the Canadian Constitution (that Justin’s stepdad Pierre had put in) and then thrown in jail.
If Justin Castro Trudeau was to have his lily white ass sodomized numerous times while he was in prison,that would be the best thing that could ever happen to him.”
. . .
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of a future Oscars ceremony some years down the road.
Renfield had been nominated for the role of Best Actor for playing the role of Prince Hal in a Kenneth Branagh directed production of William Shakespeare’s Henry IV Part 1.
Michelangelo was surprised to see Renfield was married in the vision as he sat at a front table close to the stage with his wife.
A foul mouthed comedian Justin Trudeau was to present the next award for Best Porn Film (a new Oscar category) in Michelangelo’s vision.
Foul mouthed comedian Justin Trudeau was a former Canadian Prime Minister who had been jailed for treason for a number of years.
Despite Justin Trudeau having been such a huge asshole, believe it or not his anus was a lot bigger after it had left prison than it was before coming in.
The foul mouthed alleged comic Justin Trudeau made an obscene insulting remark about Renfield’s wife.
Renfield got up on to the stage and approached the foul mouthed comic.
“Oh, oh,” one of the Academy Awards commentators could be heard saying, “I wonder if Renfield is going to punch Justin Trudeau like Will Smith did to Chris Rock a few years back.”
Renfield reached into his pocket, pulled out a gun and blew Justin Trudeau’s head off.
Justin Trudeau lay dead on the stage in a pool of blood- his perfectly coiffured hair now a tangled mess.
“Oh, oh,” one of the other commentators said, “I wonder what can be done about this situation as Renfield was granted a 007 License To Kill by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II a few years back. Maybe if he wins the Best Actor Award for his portrayal of Prince Hal in Henry IV Part 1, they’ll take the Oscar away from him.”
“Not if they want to live until the next morning, they won’t,” his commentating partner suggested.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 28th
2022.
Orson Welles’ Ghost Arranges For Russian Billionaire Oligarch To Be Bumped Off In Switzerland
The Russian oligarch billionaire felt like he was entering a scene in a late 1940s Film Noir movie.
Which in a sense he was.
Billionaire oligarch Hunterovich Pervertovsky (the son of the senile old fool Russian billionaire oligarch Josef Pervertovsky famous for going around sniffing the hair of beautiful women and for always wanting to dangle young girls on his lopsided knees as his pair of Russian made Depends dangled around his brown coloured ankles) was standing face to face with a woman who was the spitting image of actress Laurette Luez in the 1949 Film Noir movie D.O.A.
The entire scene had a black and white feel to it.
That’s because it was being directed by the ghost of the great film director Orson Welles.
His friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had arranged for the pro-Taiwan Vietnamese secret agent Ho Babylon Minh to drop a Mickey into Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s hot toddy as he ate his rotisserie chicken accompanied by Black Sea caviar in the Swiss chalet restaurant.
Unbeknownst to him a Ukrainian band with a Ukrainian ukulele player played that old Canadian restaurant TV commercial song “Life should taste as good as Swiss Chalet” from the top floor of the chalet as Ho slipped the mickey into his drink.
Hunterovich hit the floor faster than one of his many dropped laptops.
He soon found himself in this room, his head was spinning in a haze and everything looked black and white to him.
And he saw this vision:
Actress Laurette Luez smoking a cigarette
“There’s a glass of vodka in front of you, Comrade Uber-capitalist Hunterovich Pervertovsky,” Miss Luez pointed with her shapely leg.
Pervertovsky picked up the glass and drank.
His face suddenly turned very red like the flags rising above the Saint Petersburg Winter Palace on a Julian calendar October day in 1917.
“I believe it’s Polonium-210 that you use to get rid of the opponents of your friend Vlad the Exhaler’s regime isn’t it?” Miss Luez smiled, “Well there was enough Polonium-210 in that glass of vodka to kill a race horse. And personally I along with Mr. Welles, Mr. Van Helsing and Miss Ho have nothing against race horses.”
Hunterovich Pervertovsky the son of Josef Pervertovsky was D.O.A.
Meanwhile on Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s laptop (which had just landed at his feet) were the plans for Russia’s newest Kinzhal (Dagger) hypersonic missiles just used in Ukraine.
The plans were delivered to Set Enterprises in London.
And not the British government.
As the Bitish government was under the control of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum and the Great Reset New World Order.
Set Enterprises was not.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 20th
2022.
Poem About Sidney Poitier R.I.P.
Sidney Poitier (February 20th 1927 – January 6th 2022)
Christ said, “Consider the lilies of the field,
they toil not, they spin not
Yet Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these”
How fitting that this great actor and man of class
Won an Oscar for a film titled Lilies of The Field.
Guess who’s coming to dinner?
A man who is a scholar and gentleman
A man of considerable talent
A man of great charm and personality
A man who made a difference in the world
A life well lived
And now all we can say is
To Sir with love.
-A poetic tribute to Sidney Poitier
Written by Christopher
Friday January 7th
2021.
Rita Hayworth and Harvey Tallbanger
Rita Hayworth was sitting there with an old fashioned box camera on her lap.
Suddenly she looked up and noticed a tall handsome 6 foot 8 tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears looking at her.
What was in that glass of orange juice and vodka she had drunk?
Other than orange juice and vodka.
Galliano perhaps?
The bunny rabbit approached her.
“You can see me?” The bunny rabbit (whose name was Harvey Tallbanger) asked as he introduced himself.
“I can,” She answered.
“Put the blame on Mame,” actor Jimmy Stewart entered the studio even though he wasn’t making a film there.
“Jimmy Stewart, Harvey,” Rita said, “Harvey, Jimmy Stewart.”
“Who is this Harvey?” Stewart asked.
“You can’t see him?” Rita asked.
“Obviously not,” Stewart replied, “Has being married to Orson the Boy Wonder suddenly driven you crazy?”.
Harvey Tallbanger turned and exited.
He had been scheduled to throw a cream pie in one of the film studio heads’ faces.
“No,” Rita said to Stewart as she stood up to go, “And be careful what you say. You may make a film with that Harvey someday.”
Elsewhere.
“It’s a wonderful life,” one of the secretaries remarked after the film studio head got a cream pie in his face.
And so ended another of 11-year-old Nicholas Carlyle’s winter wonderland dreams.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 4th
2021.
Red October
“Where do you want the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern to take you?” The ghost of Orson Welles asked his companion.
“I’ll let you decide,” his companion answered.
“All right,” Welles’ ghost sipped a spectral glass of spectral red wine and spun the globe of the world in the Set Estate Library.
Welles put his finger down.
“Ah,” said Welles, “That’s a nice place. Very nice place.”
Welles reached into the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s glass jar coin collection (of coins dating back to the 1500s from various nations in the world) and pulled out a coin.
“Ah, a very recent time but that might be okay,” Welles stated.
He pushed the button on the Houdini-Pantages-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern Film Projector.
This magic lantern could be used for time travel.
As Welles’ ghost and his companion flew through the space and time continuum, Welles remarked, “Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster is referring to this month we just left as Red October 3.0. Do you know what he means by that?”.
“Well,” his companion answered, “The first Red October was October 1917 when Russia went Bolshevik Communist. And the second Red October… or Red October 2.0 is October 1949 when mainland China went Communist and became the People’s Republic of China. Red October 3.0 is October 2021.”
“So who will go Communist this time?” Welles lit himself a cigar.
“The United States of America,” his companion answered, “according to Michelangelo.”
“So here we are,” Welles announced, “Hawaii, October 2009.”
“Sometime between October 15th and October 25th 2009,” his companion read the sign.
“Do you have any idea who that very beautiful young woman is?” Welles inquired.
“That’s Q’orianka Kilcher,” his companion answered, “She played the last Crown Princess of Hawaii, Princess Ka’iulani, in the movie Princess Ka’iulani that came out that year of 2009.”
“I see,” Welles sipped his wine.
“October 15th to 25th, 2009,” his companion reflected, “My dad would have still been alive then.”
“Your dad?” Welles blinked.
“He collapsed to the floor while shaving in the bathroom on May 18th 2010 and had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance,” his companion recalled, “he died less than a month later on June 16th 2010.”
“I see,” Welles finished his wine and looked around for another glass.
“One of the many strange things he said to me before he died was, Chris, fight Red October,” his companion said.
“Did he explain what he meant?” Welles asked.
“No, he never did,” his companion looked again at the sign.
“In the meantime, let’s go see a movie,” his companion suggested, “At least in this month and this year, we don’t need a vaccine passport to get in.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 1st
2021.
Dracul Van Helsing 
Sanditon
April 27, 2023 at 10:15 pm (Art, Arts, Commentary, Culture, Entertainment, Film, History, Literature, love, Movies, Personal essays, Romance, Television) (Alexander Colbourne, British drama, Charlotte Heywood, Rose Williams, Sanditon, Television, television shows)
Sanditon is my favourite TV series of the past 3 years.
And if I had to give it some extra thought, I would probably come to the conclusion that it’s my favourite TV series of all time.
I’ve always had a thing for British Regency romance novels.
And for Jane Austen in particular.
Jane Austen being one of my top 5 favourite authors (the other 4 being William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Fyodor Dostoevsky and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle).
I first stumbled upon Sanditon a couple of years ago when someone posted the 6 episodes of Season 1 in English with German subtitles on YouTube (they’ve long since been removed).
From the pictures, they looked to be Regency dress and costumes.
So I clicked on Season 1 Episode 1 and started watching.
With the credits in German and no subtitles for the credits, I didn’t pay much attention.
But as I watched the show, the dialogue struck me and I thought this dialogue could easily have been written by Jane Austen.
For even though I was a big Jane Austen fan, I had never heard of her unfinished novel Sanditon.
And my father (who was a Public School History and Science teacher for over 30 years) and was a big Jane Austen fan had never mentioned Sanditon in his many discussions on her.
It was also from my dad that I inherited my love of Dickens and Shakespeare.
I developed my love for Dostoevsky after having received a book of Dostoevsky short stories from my Grade 12 Creative Writing teacher for getting the top marks in her Creative Writing class.
She had written an inscription in the book that my short stories that I had written reminded her of Dostoevsky’s short stories so that’s why she was buying me this book.
I had heard of many of Dostoevsky’s novels but I had never read any of his short stories at the time I was presented with that book.
I had read Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov in its entirety when I was just 14 years old (after having seen on late night television a movie version of it from the 1950s that starred Yul Brynner as Dmitri Karamazov).
And I inherited my love for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle when I read a children’s book edition of The Hound of the Baskervilles when I was just 8 years old and have been a big Sherlock Holmes fan ever since.
It was sometime after watching that YouTube series with English dialogue and German subtitles that I read that the series Sanditon was based on an unfinished novel by Jane Austen.
Well that explains how the dialogue in the series reminded me so much of Jane Austen I thought.
Last year I found myself in the middle of a move.
When the trailer I was renting a room in was sold by the landlord.
After about a month (during which time I stayed with a friend), I finally found a new place.
The landlady was a sympathetic woman who took sympathy in my plight as a struggling author and bought me a television set and hooked me up to the house’s cable.
Sadly she separated from the landlord last summer.
The landlord is a bit of a dipstick or a lot of a dipstick as he stepped on my android tablet last October thoroughly ruining the keyboard on it and never offered to replace it.
A friend of mine bought me a new iPad 15 Pro this past February so now I can once again do a lot more writing.
I got my new TV from my then landlady in mid-March of 2022.
One night after discovering I got both PBS Detroit and PBS Spokane on it, I tuned in one Sunday night and discovered Season 2 of Sanditon.
It was about halfway through the season when I started watching.
Half way through the episode I made the brilliant Sherlockian deduction that Sidney Parker must have died.
Which turned out to be correct.
However I found the figure of Alexander Colbourne a lot more intriguing than Sidney Parker.
Alexander Colbourne reminded me of a far better looking version of Orson Welles’ portrayal of Edward Rochester in the 1943 film Jane Eyre (based on the Charlotte Brontë novel).
Ben Lloyd-Hughes’ portrayal of Alexander Colbourne has all the existential angst of Welles’ portrayal of Edward Rochester in Jane Eyre but is far better looking than Welles (as is to be expected from a Jane Austen hero).
This is not to take anything away from Orson Welles who is one of my film idols.
He had an outstanding intellect and was a great director and screenplay writer.
I also have the ghost of Orson Welles appearing as a character in my vampire novel (having been dispensationally released from Purgatory by Hades the Greek god of the Underworld).
Of course not having the sexual orientation of Truman Capote or Gore Vidal, I didn’t start becoming a big fan of Sanditon because of Ben Lloyd-Hughes’ portrayal of Alexander Colbourne.
It was Rose Williams’ portrayal of Charlotte Heywood and Crystal Clarke’s portrayal of Georgiana Lambe that drew me in.
I’m not going to reveal any spoilers in my review here.
I will mention some of the very humorous dialogue:
Charlotte Heywood: Your niece Augusta thinks that you regard her as an intolerable burden to you.
Alexander Colbourne: Those were her exact words?
Charlotte Heywood: Well they were in French but yes.
And in the scene where the clergyman is giving a wedding rehearsal for Lady Denham and Rowleigh Price (an elderly couple getting married), the vicar says, “And in my sermon when I talk on conjugal relations, I shall point out that the world conjugal comes from the Latin word meaning ‘to yoke’…” to which Lady Denham responds, “You most certainly will not.”
The TV series Sanditon had excellent cinematography.
I would watch each episode 3 or 4 times on a Sunday night.
The two times it was shown on PBS Detroit and then the two times it was shown on PBS Spokane.
One of the stations had it on a third time early Monday morning but which I watched with the volume on Mute so as not to disturb my roommates in the house.
It was with the sound off (but knowing what the dialogue was having watched it twice before) that I truly appreciated the cinematography.
Episode 5 of Season 3 was a cinematic masterpiece.
Each scene one of the characters was in light and the other character was in semi-darkness within the same scene.
Save towards the final scenes when both characters were in the light.
A true cinematic masterpiece.
And the entire production of Sanditon was a masterpiece.
I’m usually leery of someone trying to finish a great author’s unfinished work because it invariably isn’t up to par with the author’s excellence of style.
But the makers and the cast of Sanditon succeeded.
They created a masterpiece.
Jane Austen was a great woman and a great author.
She deserves nothing less.
-A personal commentary
and review
Written by Christopher
Thursday April 27th
2023.
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