Ulysses, The World Communists’ Trojan Horse and Tom Cruise’s Comeuppance

December 16, 2020 at 11:38 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

“It is an ironic masterstroke of history that a man with the heart and soul of a Ku Klux Klansman (let’s call him Joe Biden) would be used by the Communists as a trojan horse to seize control of the U.S. Presidency.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP

In the Elysian Fields, Ulysses the Greek hero king of Ithaca was complaining to King Agamemnon of Mycenae (who was busy lying on a couch as he was getting counselling from the ghost of Sigmund Freud over his relationships with his children Electra and Orestes), “I knew the Trojan Horse. I was friends with the Trojan Horse. Hell, I built the bloody Trojan Horse. Joe Biden is one fucked up Trojan Horse.”

At the request of Ulysses’ patron and muse Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom, Ulysses was dispensationally released from the Underworld by Hades and Persephone to do battle with the KKK heart and soul Trojan Horse of the Great Reset World Communist Party.


Penelope the Queen of Ithaca awaits the return of her husband Ulysses

. . .

After losing a snowball fight to British MP Renfield R. Renfield, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had agreed to relax lockdown restrictions in the UK over Christmas.

Up to 3 households could meet over Christmas for a social gathering.

The lockdown restriction loosenings had been met with outrage by the Neo-Stalinist and Neo-Maoist health authorities and “experts”.

As they gathered to protest the easing restrictions, a 6 foot 8 tall invisible bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears and a group of small snowclad garden gnome lawn ornaments carrying cream pies launched those dessert missiles into the faces of the Communist constipated looking health authorities and “experts”.

“That bunny rabbit and those gnomes weren’t wearing masks or practicing social distancing,” a Harvey Wallbanger drinking health “expert” remarked.

. . .

“You’re not wearing masks or practicing social distancing,” an irate actor Tom Cruise beat up up his film’s camera crew and some movie extras on a London street.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield happened to be walking by when he noticed the commotion being caused by the abusive and profanity spewing Hollywood superstar nutjob.

Renfield went up to Cruise, grabbed him and drove his head through a wall rendering him unconscious.

Renfield continued walking down the street singing,

“Have yourself a Merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on
Our troubles will be out of sight…”

The incident was captured on camera.

Actress Nicole Kidman, watching news footage of it on television, gushed, “Who was that handsome man?”.

“I believe that’s your ex-husband,” her hairstylist replied.

“No, not that moron,” Nicole said, “The one who just drove his head through a wall.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 16th
2020.

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The Third Man

December 15, 2020 at 11:45 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

“So,” Renfield remarked to his parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana Fay Lee, “I see someone has been hacking into the computers of the U.S. Treasury and Commerce departments. The SolarWinds Orion a computer network tool is being exploited by malicious actors. Various other government, technology and telecoms organizations all across the world have fallen victim to these malicious attacks since March of this year. Including Dominion Voting Machines. Although the mainstream Marxist media isn’t mentioning that since that might cast doubt on Joe Biden’s election. Some people think it was Russia responsible but it was most likely China.”

. . .

After a visit from his Masonic Lodge Grand Master, Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell recognized Joe Biden as U.S. President-elect and also urged people to take the mRNA vaccines for the Wuhan CCP virus.

Meanwhile in Russia, Russian President Vladimir Putin also recognized Joe Biden as U.S. President-elect even as he co-ordinated plans with Turkey and Iran for an attack on Israel.

. . .


It was the street in Vienna
where Orson Welles had walked
As Harry Lime
The Third Man

The streets were deserted
Covid-19
The Wuhan CCP Virus
Had decreed it so

It had turned health experts
Into Gulag camp overlords
It had turned politicians
Into Hitlers and Stalins and Maos

The people were locked in their homes
Wearing masks and social distancing
Christmas was to be forgotten
Like Scrooge when evil noted

Dracul Van Helsing stood alone

Facing a street of descending street lamps
And a moon that towered
Over the darkening smoke of chimney

A chimney like Mount Doom
That blew the smoke of Sauron
As in the land of Mordor
Where the shadows lie

Van Helsing walked the cobblestone streets
A zither then played the score
of Anton Karas’ theme music
On the night the music died.

-A vampire novel chapter
and poem
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 15th
2020.

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Renfield Comes Across 1950s Sherrielock Shakespearian Erotic Film

November 11, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Arts, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )


World famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes: Good with an axe as well as a paddle and a whip

British MP Renfield R. Renfield decided to take a break from fighting George Soros, Bill and Melinda Gates, World Economic Forum Chairman Karl Schwab, Pope Francis and the ongoing Neo-Bolshevik Revolution in the United States.

He fired off an email to British Prime Minister Boris Johnson who had just recognized Joe Biden as President-elect of the United States.

Solely on the basis that the AP Associated Press had declared so this past Saturday November 7th and numerous mainstream Marxist media outlets had followed suit.

Renfield’s email asked Boris Johnson, “How does it feel to be an idiot?”.

He then read an email from a friend of his who had sent him a link to a YouTube video.

The video was of a 1950s erotic film that had apparently starred world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes.

Sherrielock Holmes was the twin sister of world-famous London consulting detective Sherlock Holmes.

In the 1890s, she had become immortal after eating a particularly powerful Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom.

Not looking a day over 30 (even though she was in her 40s when she ate the mushroom), she had married French scientist Dr. Louis Rocher (who it was later dscovered was in fact the illegitimate son of Prof. James Moriarty who was her brother Sherlock’s mortal enemy).

She and Louis Rocher had several children.

Louis Rocher, who served in the RAF during World War I, was shot down and killed by the Red Baron just the day before the Red Baron himself was shot down and killed by a couple of Canadian pilots.

One of Sherrielock’s descendants was her great-grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher who was Set Enterprises’ chief scientist.

Having both Holmes and Moriarty blood in his veins, Dr. Cadbury Rocher often alternated between good and evil during his distinguished career as a mad scientist.

The film was called Shakespearian Sherrielock and was shot in black and white as of course were many movies back in the 1950s.

The film began with this scene:

Sherrielock was busy examining an axe as the estate’s chief servant Hemlock the Dwarf stood on the house stairs looking at her.

Hemlock the Dwarf: Thou lookest like thou art about to choppeth off someone’s head.

Sherrielock: Aye, Hemlock, I am.

Hemlock the Dwarf: I hear the Lady Anne Boleyn, late Queen of England, lost her fair head on this May fair morning.

Sherrielock: Aye, that she did. Her blood now soaketh the pavement of the Tower of London where no fair flowers bloometh.

Hemlock: Who art thou thinking of beheading this morning?

(The dwarf did ask as he approached her)

Sherrielock (raising her axe above the dwarf): The one who gave the hemlock to my favourite horse Socrates.

Hemlock (terrified): Mistress, thou knowest? Let me explain. It was only because thou didst love that horse more than me.

But Hemlock had run out of explanations for his head became separated from his neck by the cutting edge of Sherrielock’s axe and it did roll on to the floor.

Sherrielock (ringing a bell): Maid, come cleaneth up this mess.

Later that night, Sherrielock sat on her bed and waited for Hans Falstaffson the Courier to show up.

Hans Falstaffson the Courier (played by actor Orson Welles) shows up.

Renfield, enjoying the movie so far as he ate his popcorn, said, “Wow, I never knew Welles ever appeared in a 1950s erotic soft porn film.”

“Hans, thou art late,” Sherrielock admonished him.

“My lady, I do apologize,” Hans Falstaffson bowed.

Sherrielock: For thy errant tardiness, I must spank thee on the bare bottom with this sturdy paddle.

Falstaffson (bowing): Very well, my lady.

(Orson as Hans Falstaffson takes off all his clothes)

“Oh God,” Renfield shields his eyes, “I’ll never be able to get that image out of my mind.”

Sherrielock sits on the bed and straightens and smooths the skirt of her dress as Welles’ Falstaffson approaches and lies across her lap waiting to receive his punishment.

Welles who had chosen to use the Stanislavski method in the making of this film would undergo the same gruelling paddling on his backside as that of his character Hans Falstaffson the Courier.

Thus Welles’ and Falstaffson’s screams merged and echoed as one as the character/actor’s buttocks turned as crimson red as a lobster flambe or the ripest of all tomatoes while Sherrielock vigourously administered the spanking.

100 of the best.

100 of the worst.

It was the best of times.

It was the worst of times.

When the spanking was over, Sherrielock held Welles/Falstaffson’s head against her most ample and delightful bosom and comforted him.

Sherrielock (gently stroking his hair): Art thou happy that I spanked thee?

Welles/Falstaffson (nodding): Aye, my lady. My bottom stingeth like the scorpion in the noonday sun.

And as everybody knows who was on YouTube today, the system crashed at 7:13 PM U.S. Eastern Standard Time Wednesday November 11th 2020.

“Shit,” Renfield exclaimed as the video konked out at this most dramatic moment.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 11th
2020.

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Halloween 2020

October 31, 2020 at 10:35 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Cerberus sat on river banks intersecting the Rivers Styx and Acheron.

He was waiting for Charon’s ferry to arrive carrying the souls of the recently departed.

From there the souls would either go to the Asphodel Meadows (where indifferent souls- those who did not commit any significant crimes but at the same time did not achieve any greatness in their deeds- go), the Elysian Fields or Elysium (where the pure and righteous souls go) and then there was Tartarus (where great evil doers among supernatural entities and mortal humans go).

Paradise (where the Church Expectant was located) was between the Asphodel Meadows and Elysium.

Purgatory (where the Church Suffering was located) was between the Asphodel Meadows and Tartarus.

Tartarus of course was where the damned were located.

Away from the realm of the Underworld far far far above was Heaven where God the Father resided.

There the Saints (the Church Triumphant) were located.

Jesus Christ and His Mother the Virgin Mary resided in Heaven but paid many visits to both Paradise and Purgatory.

They never visited Tartarus.

The ferry pulled up to shore and Cerberus looked at his list of passengers for this voyage.

A very distinguished looking man got off the ship and said, “The name is Connery. Sean… Connery.”

Cerberus looked at the list and said to Sean Connery, “You’re lucky, Mr. Connery. No Tartarus for you.”

It was a statement Cerberus rarely made to politicians after they had kicked the bucket.

And speaking of possible potential clients for Tartarus, Hunter Biden was reflecting back on some of the sex videos that were on his laptop that he had forgotten to pick up from a computer repair shop and which was now in the hands of the FBI.

One of the videos showed Hunter opening his door to a member of an escort service (which was at least better than his having sexual relations with underaged girls which was the case with a lot of the videos shot over in the People’s Republic of China).

Hunter invited the woman in and to get himself in the mood, he watched a couple of porn videos with the escort.

The first video they watched showed a Catholic clergyman having a sex orgy with a whole bunch of women in his church.

The video appeared to be a real amateur shot video and not a professional porn production.

Since the clergyman was doing it with adult women and not altar boys or young seminarians, he was obviously not a member of the Theodore McCarrick branch of the American Catholic Church.

The second video Hunter and the escort watched showed a man raping a young woman in the back seat of a car.

After watching the two videos, Hunter then was sufficiently aroused enough to get it on with the escort.

Hunter smiled as he thought back on the memory.

And to think in a few days’ time, his father could become the President of the United States of America.

Meanwhile in Beijing the capital of Communist China, the nation’s paramount leader Xi Jinping sat at his desk grinning like a Cheshire cat.

And in the village of Sleepy Hollow in New York, Tiffany Twisted the immortal witch of Hotel California fame was confessing to Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun that she had fallen in love with him.

“And is that such a bad thing?” Yaldabaoth asked as he drank his 99th Guinness of the evening.

“The thing is your half-brother hired me to kill you,” Tiffany shed tears, “and now I can’t do it.”

And having said that, the immortal witch Tiffany Twisted then vanished into the flames of the room’s fireplace behind her.

“Who’s your half-brother?” Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow asked the leprechaun after Yaldabaoth had told him the sad tale.

“To my infinite shame and disgrace the demon Baphomet,” Yaldabaoth hung his head.

“The demon Baphomet?” The Headless Horseman was shocked.

“Yes, many centuries ago my mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom made out with Pan the Greek satyr god and she gave birth to a demon as a result,” Yaldabaoth opened his hundredth can of Guinness.

Meanwhile at a Joe Biden campaign rally, the demons Baal and Baphomet stood on either side of a campaign sign behind Joe that read, FOR THE SOUL OF A NATION.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 31st
2020.

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Origins of May The Fourth

May 4, 2020 at 10:00 pm (Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery, News, Science-Fiction, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Origins of May The Fourth

Back in the mid-1970s as George Lucas was holding auditions for the voice of Darth Vader for his upcoming Star Wars motion picture, among those auditioning for the voice role were writer and actor Truman Capote.

This was the line all audition participants were to speak when auditioning for the Darth Vader voice role, “May the Force be with you.”

Then it came Truman Capote’s turn to audition.

Truman Capote (speaking with his usual fruity lisp): May the fourth be with you.

Thinking that for a galactic villain whose voice was supposed to send chills down audience spines and make their blood run cold, the makers of Star Wars settled for the deep baritone voice of James Earl Jones instead.

However back in the early 2000s, an Australian with the popular nickname of Uncle Ernie found the Truman Capote audition video tape in an old Star Wars lunch box he found in some old cupboards in his backyard unregulated and illegal pharmaceutical manufacturing lab.

And a legend was born.

Since that time, May the Fourth became known as International Star Wars Day.

As May the Force Be With You became Truman Capote’s immortal May the Fourth Be With You.

. . .

“Beam me up, Scotty,” William Shatner spoke to his AI automated dispenser of his favourite brand of toilet paper as he sat on his starship throne.

. . .

Meanwhile in the catacombs of Paris, Marmalade Montague the eccentric former baker who had recently proclaimed himself Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze overheard a plot by a group of Grand Orient Lodge Freemasons to turn Notre Dame Cathedral into a New Age Freemasonic Temple.

Said the Grand Orient Lodge master, “I’ve been told by the Divine Falcon Headed Human Body Hybrid Horus himself that a world altering miracle will happen this coming May 14th.”

“That’s the same day Pope Francis told all the religions of the world to pray together isn’t it?” the Lodge secretary inquired.

“It is,” the Grand Orient Lodge master answered.

Marmalade Montague decided he better exit the catacombs before his presence was noted.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 4th 
2020.


The Greek goddess Aphrodite pointing downwards at a snake slithering along the floor of one of the Vatican Museum halls.

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Orson Welles Contemplates Movie Scene

April 12, 2020 at 10:57 pm (Biographical, Film, History, Movies, Radio, Short Story) (, , )

Orson Welles Contemplates A Movie Scene

The year was 1940 and Orson Welles was in the process of filming his classic film Citizen Kane.

It came to Welles’ attention one day that a popular radio show host was visiting the studio next door to where Welles was shooting.

Welles himself had been in radio as the voice of that mysterious figure The Shadow (whose alter ego was Lamont Cranston wealthy young man about town) from September 1937 to October 1938.

Welles had also been the host, star and narrator of CBS’ Mercury Theatre On The Air which ran for 22 episodes from July 11th to December 4th 1938.

The most notable episode was Welles’ October 30th 1938 adaptation and broadcast of H.G. Wells’ The War of The Worlds which came across like a regular news broadcast and sent a great deal of the American population into panic thinking they were actually being invaded by Martians.

The popular radio show host in the studio next door was the host of a program that Welles himself liked and enjoyed listening to.

Welles summoned the radio show host to talk to him as he wanted the man’s input into a movie he was considering making.

During the course of the conversation between Welles and the popular radio show host, Welles told the man, “I’m thinking of bringing an old story to life and setting it in modern times. Do you think it is proper for me to do that?”.

The host asked Welles what he was thinking of doing.

Welles mentioned that he’d have one set of characters wearing expensive jewel laced wrist watches as they were plotting.

And a couple of other characters would be wearing the robes of U.S. Supreme Court justices.

The radio host said that would be all right provided Welles didn’t change the nature, essence and personality of the character who was the central figure in the story.

Welles said he would not.

The popular radio show host gave his approval to Welles’ idea.

. . . 

Welles sat down with pen and paper in front of him and conceived of a scene for the movie he was contemplating making.

The woman he was thinking of for the central female role in the film was a young starlet he had recently met called Margarita Carmen Cansino of Hispanic heritage who had recently changed her name to Rita Hayworth.

Welles pictured Margarita sitting at a table in a lounge downing several cocktails and mourning the recent death of a friend.

A man tries to make a move on her and she quickly brushes him off.

Leaving the lounge, she calls a taxi and heads to the funeral home where her friend is.

She walks into the viewing parlour where his body was available for viewing.

“Egad, wrong parlour,” she sighs and heads to another.

She races around the funeral home trying to find the parlour.

In one viewing room, she encounters a man who speaks to her in a foreign language.

She brushes him off and goes to find the funeral home director.

She encounters a man standing in front of her.

“You must be one of the undertakers,” Rita’s character says to him, “I was wondering if you could tell me what viewing room Joshua Josephson is in.”

The man said to her one word, “Mary.”

She then recognized him.

She then understood the words the man speaking in the foreign language had said to her in one of the viewing rooms, “He is not here. He is risen.”

. . .

Post-Script: The popular radio host that Welles had met at the studio that day in 1940 was Father Fulton J. Sheen (who later became a bishop and later an archbishop) who had hosted NBC’s The Catholic Hour on radio since 1930 and would host it for another 10 years until 1950.

The people Welles would have as wearing expensive jewel laced wrist watches were the Pharisees.

The two men who would be dressed in robes of Supreme Court justices would be Pontius Pilate and Herod Antipas.

Sadly Welles never made the picture.

Fulton’s one bit of advice to Welles in setting the Gospel story in modern times was to make sure that Jesus’ character was still that of “God incarnate as man, born of a virgin, performed miracles, died to save humanity from their sins and rose again from the dead on the third day.”

The movie scene mentioned above was totally of my own creation and speculation.

I do not know whether Welles had intended his future wife Rita Hayworth to play Mary Magdalene or not.

Or whether the final scene would be set in a modern funeral home.

Or whether Mary Magdalene would be looking for the body of Joshua Josephson (which is how you’d say Yeshua bar Yosef or Jesus son of Joseph in contemporary English).

-written by Christopher 
Easter Sunday
April 12th 2020


Mary Magdalene (portrayed by Margarita Carmen Cansino aka Rita Hayworth) with the red roses she is planning to lay at the grave of a recently departed friend.

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Return To Field of Dreams

April 8, 2020 at 11:11 pm (Avatar Speaks, Entertainment, Fantasy, Film, Inspiration, Literature, Movies, News, Poetry) (, )

Return To Field of Dreams

Marcus Shimbiro had a dream
When as an 8-year-old boy 
he left his native Kenya
For the U.S.
He wanted to become a baseball player someday 
He did excel at sports and particularly at baseball 
In high school, he was hitting home runs 
The same way he downed ice cream cones
with a vengeance 

But then came that fateful day 
He fell off his neighbour’s roof 
While helping him paint it
And broke his arm and his leg 

His arm and leg eventually healed of course 
But he was not the same player ever again
He could no longer run
Or hit a home run.

Angry and bitter a few weeks before graduation
He borrowed a friend’s car and headed for Iowa
Why Iowa?
Because it was the home state of the Field of Dreams
That famous 1989 sports fantasy movie with Kevin Costner and James Earl Jones
About the Iowa corn farmer who plows part of his corn field 
To build a baseball field
A field on which Shoeless Joe Jackson 
And 7 other famous 1919 Chicago Black Sox players play

On that field in which Shoeless Joe and 7 others played
Was a player named Archibald “Moonlight” Graham
Who played one game for the New York Giants in 1905 
but never had a turn at bat
Corn farmer Ray Kinsella (Costner) 
and author/writer Terrence Mann (Jones) drive to Minnesota 
Where they learn that Graham was a physician who had died years earlier
During a late night walk, Ray finds himself transported back to 1972
Where he encounters the elderly Graham (Burt Lancaster) who says he left baseball for a satisfying medical career
During the drive back to Iowa,
Ray picks up a young hitchhiker who introduces himself as Archie Graham
and says he wants to be a baseball player 
Eventually, Graham gets the chance to play baseball with Shoeless Joe and other baseball greats in the Field of Dreams
But at a critical point in the game, Graham leaves the field of dreams 
To administer emergency medical aid 

Graham makes his choice 
To be a doctor after all.

And now Marcus Shimbiro torn with rage at having his dreams dashed 
Was trying to find this Field of Dreams of film-lore
To play baseball 
Or at least find out what he was to do with his life 

It was nighttime 
and as he drove by a corn field
He was shocked to see baseball players playing ball in the field 
He pulled in
And sat with the other spectators 
And watched the greats of baseball play the game 
Shoeless Joe Jackson, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio and many others

He was shocked to discover Dr. Archibald Graham sitting next to him 
offering him a hot dog and a coke
“Too bad about your fall, Marcus,” Graham remarked as he ate his own hot dog.
“It is,” Marcus frowned, “it’s not as if I could be a doctor like you not having baseball to fall back on.”
“Who says you can’t be a doctor?” Graham looked at him.
“I don’t have the marks or the aptitude for it,” Marcus answered.
“But you are good at observation and analysis and above all, perseverance, you may not get flying colours right away but with your observation and analysis and perseverance, you might spot something others have missed and that might make all the difference in the world someday,” Dr. Graham noted, “Ever hear the fable of the tortoise and the hare? The tortoise won the race in the end.”
“But that’s just a fable and a fairy tale,” Marcus pointed out, “That doesn’t happen in the real world. Most of the time, it’s the hare that wins and not the tortoise.”
“Most of the time that’s true, Marcus,” Graham agreed, “But often it’s at the most critical junctions in the world and in history that the tortoise wins the race. And at such times, the hare is usually not a foe but a friend. And it usually turns out to be one race where the hare was happy to see the tortoise win.”

Marcus looked at Graham.

He wasn’t quite sure what Graham meant by those words but somehow deep down inside himself, he felt they were important.

“So, do you think I should go into medicine?” Marcus asked.
“I do, Marcus, I do,” the elderly doctor patted him on the shoulder.

And seconds later, Dr. Graham, the players, the spectators and the baseball field were gone.

And all that was left…

… Was an empty corn field.

Marcus Shimbiro went into science and into medicine.
He didn’t always get the best marks.
But he studied hard and learned from his mistakes.
And developed a profound sense of analysis and insight.
He didn’t think he was good enough to treat patients but he went into research.
Using his memory and his insight and analysis in that line of work.

And then one day in the year 2020, 
analyzing data and keeping track of things he and his numerous colleagues all over the world were doing,
Dr. Marcus Shimbiro discovered…

…. the vaccine for the Covid-19 Coronavirus.

We can all dream, can’t we?

And hope… is the knowledge that sometimes dreams can become reality.

-A narrative poem written by Christopher
Wednesday April 8th 2020.

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Leadership In Troubled Times: Light In Dark Ages

March 16, 2020 at 10:04 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Literature, love, magic, Movies, Music, music videos, Romance) ()

Leadership In Troubled Times: Light In Dark Ages

This was a photo montage music video I made back in 2009.

It is my personal favourite of all the photo montage music videos I made between 2008 and 2012 in those days when I still had a working desktop PC and was able to make them.

-Christopher

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Willard 1971 Film Characters Show Up In The Year of The Rat

January 25, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, Film, magic, Movies, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Willard 1971 Film Characters Show Up In The Year of The Rat

“When was this photo taken?” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked art gallery owner Dashwood Forrest as he held a martini (stirred not shaken) at an exhibition of the photographs that never made it into LIFE Magazine during the years of its existence.

“Sometime in the 1950s in Havana, Cuba,” Forrest answered.

“That’s a zombie isn’t it?” Renfield inquired.

“It is,” Forrest replied as he accepted the cocktail drink called the Zombie that was handed to him by his living dead walking dead Irish manservant Mulligan the Irish zombie.

Dead skeleton meets living dead Zombie.

. . .

Krampus the demon-goat of old Bavaria and the old Austro-Hungarian Empire received an elegantly written handwritten note from his friend the genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee (who specialized in killing ugly women) complaining about the vast number of ugly women living in the City of Calgary.

Krampus decided to help his friend out.

He went to a Calgary repertory theatre that were showing the 1971 American horror film Willard (about a young man who trains rats to eat people) to mark the start of the new Chinese lunar new year The Year of the Rat that begins today.

It was the sort of thing that a city like Calgary known for its brainless white Caucasian males (with the exception of Pan Goatee as well as a journalist/historian/geopolitical analyst who lived on a medical disability pension) and its hideous repulsively ugly Caucasian white females (of which sadly there were very few exceptions) would put on to mark the start of a Chinese New Year that called itself the Year of The Rat.

Krampus went to the theatre and calling upon an ancient spell from an ancient Aztec copy of The Necronomicon brought the rats to life off the movie screen and into the theatre where they proceeded to eat the brainless white men and the ugly white women.

After vomiting their unsatisfactory meals into the theatre toilets and urinals, the rats then went running out into the streets of Calgary.

Fortunately a former Neo-Nazi (who this morning had become a born again non-white supremacist after seeing how ugly the white women of Calgary were thus showing the idea of whites being the master race to be a total lie) had already left the downtown core and so avoided being eaten by the rats.

Pan Goatee meanwhile was entering his nearby shopping mall food court.

Approaching from the direction of the public library was an ugly looking white woman who looked like a hideous medieval cathedral gargoyle sporting an Afro.

“Cultural appropriation again, eh, you pathetic blemish on the peas in the garden of Mendelian genetics,” Goatee remarked as he beheaded the creature and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

As he walked away, no dark glasses wearing and barf bag wearing Hounds of Hell showed up.

As they were all being treated for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from trying to environmentally dispose of Goatee’s uglocidal victims the other day.

Goatee went inside the food court where he was enjoying a Vietnamese submarine sandwich and a Lebanese donair style pizza.

Unfortunately for him, the most hideously ugly thin stoat sized white woman in all recorded history walked by and walked around the food court.

Goatee immediately cut up the ugly woman into 999 trillion pieces without bothering to behead her first.

He put on Welder’s glasses and put his astral laser machete on slow-mo (for slow motion) to take its time on cutting up the ugly looking creature into tiny pieces.

Using the Michtlantecuhtli tempus suspendendi ray, Goatee was able to withhold death from ending the uglo’s agony until such time as the 999 trillionth piece fell to the floor.

“How am I going to clean up this mess?” The food court janitor asked as he arrived on the scene.

His answer soon became apparent with the arrival of hundreds of thousands of rats who appeared and proceeded to eat up the Guinness Book of World Records holding uglo thin sized stoat award winner.

Another group of hundreds of thousands of rats went into the washroom where they vomited up the remains of the white uglo looking gargoyle with the Afro they had encountered and eaten outside.

Well so far today, Goatee had encountered an uglo looking gargoyle and an uglo looking stoat.

All that was needed to totally ruin his day was for him to encounter a fat ugly blimp.

That happened as soon as he went outside to cross the street to the bus stop in front of the high school.

There approaching him was a fat ugly blimp with her stupid looking brainless white boyfriend (with lousy taste in women).

Goatee beheaded the blimp as well as her stupid boyfriend.

He cut up both uglo and brainless boyfriend into 999 trillion pieces each.

He wasn’t sure what 999 trillion x 2 was as he had left his antique Chinese abacus at home.

He wondered if it would have taken him awhile to figure out that particular multiplication.

Oh well, he wouldn’t worry about it, he thought as he headed for home.

Up on the roof of the high school, Socrates and Ben the two mastermind rats who lead the band of rats in the 1971 film Willard were busy examining the satellite TV dish at the top of the high school as there were no satellite TV dishes on top of high schools back in the era of 1971.

. . .

The demon Mephistopheles to the Norse goddess Hel: I wonder what the Year of the Rat will bring, my dear?

. . .

Yaya Han the Chinese leprechaun had a combined Chinese Lunar New Year/Robbie Burns Day dinner celebration with Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

They had sweet and sour haggis as a Beijing wrestler wearing a little known Ming Dynasty tartan style kilt recited Robbie Burns’ Address To A Haggis before plunging the ancient Chinese dagger into the haggis.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Saturday January 25th
2020.

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Rita Hayworth’s 101st Birthday

October 17, 2019 at 9:32 pm (Arts, Culture, Film, Movies, Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

Rita Hayworth’s 101st Birthday

Happy Birthday, Rita Hayworth (born Margarita Carmen Cansino)

Haiku For Rita Hayworth

Actress and dancer
Was queen of the silver screen
Enchanting goddess

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