Tiny Tony

December 24, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Christmas, Music, Poetry, Radio, Songs, Theatre Arts) (, )

Everyone sings of Rudolph
And Frosty the Snowman too
And all the other happy folks
That make Christmas dreams come true
But there’s one little fellow
Who’s forgotten every year
He’s Santa’s special barber
Who trims old Santa’s hair

He’s Tiny Tony
He stands upon the chair
He’s such a little shaver
To take care of Santa’s hair
He’s Tiny Tony
Who everyone should meet
Happy Tiny Tony
Keeps Santa looking neat

When Christmas Eve comes here at last
And all the bags are packed
And Santa knows which boys and girls
Have been good or bad
He’ll stop into Tony’s barbershop
And you’ll hear old Santa say,
A little off the side, a little off the top
For tomorrow is Christmas Day

He’s Tiny Tony
He stands upon the chair
He’s such a little shaver
To take care of Santa’s hair
He’s Tiny Tony
Who everyone should meet
Happy Tiny Tony
Keeps Santa looking neat

Santa’s hair is all in place
His beard is neat and trim
And you can see his jolly face
Because Tony keeps it prim
If you ever visit the North Pole
The pole is quite a sight
For it’s just like a barber pole
It’s painted red and white

He’s Tiny Tony
He stands upon the chair
He’s such a little shaver
To take care of Santa’s hair
He’s Tiny Tony
Who everyone should meet
Happy Tiny Tony
Keeps Santa looking neat.

-A song written by
Bob Bradburn
CHQT Radio Producer
and Host
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
1967.

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One Silent Night

December 23, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Christmas, Culture, History, Music, Poetry, Songs) (, , )

It was a quiet night in 1816
When a young Austrian priest
Joseph Mohr
Went for a walk
Around the village of Oberndorf
In Austria

He looked out over a very quiet
snow-laden town
And the stars glistening
In the frosty heavens above

In his mind’s eye
He saw a beautiful young maiden
Wrapping a newborn babe
In a blanket
In a stable
In the back courtyard
Of an old inn
At the edge of a small town

The young maiden sang the sweetest lullaby
To her young son
He did not understand the words to the song
The young maiden sang
But it was the sweetest melody he had ever heard

He went home and wrote words to the melody
He did not know the words the young maiden sang
But he wrote the words of what he himself
Saw that night

A couple of years later
Franz Zaber Gruber
The choir director
Of Saint Nicholas Church
In Oberndorf
Wrote music to accompany
The words that Father Mohr
Had written to accompany
The melody he heard in his mind

And that Christmas Eve in 1818
At Saint Nicholas Church in Oberndorf
Austrian villagers first heard
The song lyrics and melody
To
Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht

Silent night, holy night.

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday December 23rd 2020
The Night Before
Christmas Eve 2020.

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Renfield Ends His Podcast With A Song

August 23, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Music, News, Songs, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Sunday night livestream video podcast analyzing geopolitical affairs and current events.

Tonight he decided to end his podcast by singing a song.

He came down to the last item before singing a song,

“Last night my best sources in Istanbul tell me that the Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian the Great) beat the crap out of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan for turning a former Orthodox Byzantine Christian monastery into an Islamic mosque.
She couldn’t have beat the entire crap out of him because if she had, there wouldn’t have been much left of him. If she had beat the entire crap out of him, they could have buried him in a cigar box.”

Renfield then broke into a song.

It was a country music song in which Renfield gave a stirring country musical rendition – a combination of the voices of Johnny Cash, Kenny Rogers and Marty Robbins rolled into one.

Sang Renfield,

“When the moo cows, when they make milk,
It’s the only milk I do adore,
When the moon shines over the cow shed,
I hope the cows are making plenty more…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 23rd
2020.

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Vera Lynn

June 18, 2020 at 9:20 pm (Culture, Entertainment, History, Music, News, Obituaries, Personal essays) ()

R.I.P. Vera Lynn (March 20th 1917 – June 18th 2020) the British singer who was called England’s Sweetheart and the English Nightingale during World War II for singing such inspirational songs as We’ll Meet Again, The White Cliffs of Dover, There’ll Always Be An England, and Lily Marlene.

She died on the 80th Anniversary of Sir Winston Churchill’s This Was Their Finest Hour speech (that Churchill delivered on June 18th 1940).

80 years later was the day England’s Finest Singer went to her Heavenly Abode.

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Leadership In Troubled Times: Light In Dark Ages

March 16, 2020 at 10:04 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Literature, love, magic, Movies, Music, music videos, Romance) ()

Leadership In Troubled Times: Light In Dark Ages

This was a photo montage music video I made back in 2009.

It is my personal favourite of all the photo montage music videos I made between 2008 and 2012 in those days when I still had a working desktop PC and was able to make them.

-Christopher

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Qonzilqointec Takes In Carmen At The Royal Opera House

February 4, 2020 at 11:59 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, love, Music, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec Takes In Carmen At The Royal Opera House

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was in London.

She was to meet her date Dracul Van Helsing this evening to attend the Royal Opera House performance of Georges Bizet’s Carmen.

Interestingly enough, the Bavarian and Austro-Hungarian goat demon Krampus (who had been down in Cornwall visiting his father’s grave) had had tickets to attend this evening’s performance of Carmen.

But at the last minute, the goat demon had come down with a severe allergy to the melody and tune of the song Habanera that Carmen sings in Act 1.

And that was his favourite part of the whole opera so Krampus was unable to attend.

He left his ticket at the box office so some last minute person could buy it.

The ticket was purchased by Dr. Cadbury Rocher who had just finished his final touches on the cannabis pot smoking cactus plant Magical Mystery Tour that was to be delivered to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in Ottawa.

Qonzilqointec and Dracul talked to Dr. Rocher in the lobby prior to curtain call.

They discussed the Iowa caucus which turned out to be a public relations disaster for the U.S. Democratic Party.

The app that was supposed to give the results to the State Committee had failed.

“I was just talking to Renfield about this,” Dr. Rocher said to the Aztec vampiress and Van Helsing referring to the British MP who served on the UK House of Commons Intelligence and Foreign Affairs Committee, “and he’s already determined what happened. Apparently the app was hacked by the billionaire Egyptian vampire Set’s pet cat Nefertiti Galore, Boris Johnson’s pet Jack Russell-cross dog Dilyn and a couple of Her Majesty the Queen’s Welsh corgis.”

“Who did the Iowa Democrats get to develop this app for them?” Dracul inquired.

“Apparently some nutty Australian who calls himself Uncle Ernie,” Rocher replied, “who interestingly enough was arrested at London’s Heathrow Airport yesterday for trying to enter the country illegally. To say nothing of showing up at airport Customs in the nude.”

The Royal Opera House announcer announced that this evening’s performance would start in 5 minutes.

The three headed into the auditorium to take their seats.

Krampus who was listening to the performance on the radio while taking a bath in his hotel room broke into a severe case of hives when the lead female singer playing Carmen started singing Habanera.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 4th
2020

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Tagged For Happiness

September 29, 2019 at 10:46 pm (Commentary, Inspiration, Life, Music, music videos, Personal essays) (, , )

Tagged For Happiness

I’ve been tagged for happiness by Jessica:

Home

Let’s keep looking at the bright side of life.

I’m tagging Daniel

https://returnofdragons.wordpress.com/

and Sherry

https://sherriedevaleriahendrie.wordpress.com/

Rules:

1. Each Thursday, Beckie will pick a theme (Naturally something positive).

2. She will therefore tag two bloggers to continue the themed positive message along.

3. You the recipient of the tag can select anyway you want to share this positivity (Example Quote, Affirmation, Music Video, Memes, Pictures etc. as long as it sticks to the theme).

4. Please create a ping back to the original post 

“POP!” Pop of Positivity Share

as well as notifying your tagged bloggers that you have selected them.

For the theme of Happiness, I will be sharing two videos.

The videos are on the subject of joy.

Joy is actually something somewhat different from happiness.

Joy is something you can suddenly experience even in the midst of despair.
-Amadeus Emanon

The above is a quote from Amadeus Emanon one of the characters in my vampire novel that he made many years ago.

For a full explanation on what is the difference between joy and happiness, I suggest reading C.S. Lewis’ book Surprised By Joy.

For a brief explanation, I would say joy is something that is bestowed supernaturally.

Happiness is generally dependent on the physical world and one’s surroundings (people and places).

Ever since my dad died from cancer back in June 2010 and I developed clinical depression as a result, happiness has been something difficult to find on a daily basis.

But in the years since my dad died, I have experienced joy.

Joy is something that is bestowed as a blessing from an external force or what I would say as a blessing from an external person (let Star Wars keep its force. Electricity is a force but it is not a person). That external person being God.

Here then are the songs that for me express joy and give me joy:

Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring

Fairest Lord Jesus

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Napoleon’s 250th Birthday and Woodstock 50th Anniversary

August 15, 2019 at 10:00 pm (History, Music, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Napoleon’s 250th Birthday and Woodstock 50th Anniversary¬†

Today was the Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte’s 250th birthday.

To celebrate the occasion the Kraken who called himself Napoleon VI and was the leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party (this particular Kraken had been Italian mad scientist Dr. Poseidon Prometheus prior to uploading his consciousness into the body of a cyborg octopus back in June 2015) was going to blow out 250 candles on a huge Black Forest cake on the banks of the River Seine in Paris.

Medusa (the ex-Gorgon who had married the Kraken with Pope Francis’ papal blessing back in January 2017) led the assembled crowd on the banks of the Seine into singing Happy Birthday.

Medusa and the Paris Impromtu Singers sang,

“Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday, dear Napoleon,
Happy Birthday to you…”

Everyone whistled and applauded.

The ghost of the Emperor Napoleon (who had been granted temporary dispensational leave from the Underworld by Hades and Persephone for this occasion) wiped spectral tears from his ghostly eyes.

The Kraken leaned over to blow the 250 candles out on the Black Forest cake when he suddenly noticed that he had totally run out of hot air (he had used up his hot air giving a speech in the European Parliament yesterday on the subject of climate change).

His inability to blow out the candles started a massive fire on the Black Forest (that is the cake and not the forest in southwestern Germany).

Napoleon VI the Kraken got one of his tentacles (as opposed to one of his testicles) caught on fire and started dancing up and down the banks of the River Seine going, “Ooch! Ouch! Ooch! Ouch!”.

At that moment an otter called Jefferey de Montmartre (a DARPA operative) dived into the River Seine causing a huge splash that put the candles and the fire out.

Medusa then began to cut the cake (which now looked more like a Baked Alaska than a Black Forest cake) and started handing slices out.

Today was also the 50th Anniversary of the start of the Woodstock Music Festival.

Billed as “an Aquarian exposition: 3 days of peace and music”, it was held at Max Yasgur’s 600-acre dairy farm in Bethel, New York.

Interestingly enough, there was a pot-smoking hippy coincidentally named Rip Van Weedwrinkle who had fallen asleep just before the concert 50 years ago and now had just woken up 50 years later in one miraculous feat of survival (all a testament to the power of British Columbia’s Sechelt Peninsula marijuana).

He woke up singing, “What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?”.

He raised himself up, brushed the cobwebs out of his long graying hair and beard and looked around at the empty fields that surrounded him.

“Hey, where is everybody?” He called out, “When does the concert start? Anyone?”.

His voice echoed through the empty fields and was answered by the Aquarian Age moo of a cow in the distance.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday August 15th
2019.

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The Kraken Plays 4 Accordions While Renfield Sings O Sole Mio

May 11, 2019 at 8:47 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Music, music videos, Mythology, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Renfield had just arrived in Paris from Thailand where he had spent the past two weeks on an official state visit.

Tonight in Paris, he would be participating in a joint British Transhumanist-Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party rally for the upcoming European Parliament elections.

He and the Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party leader the Kraken Napoleon VI would be performing a musical duet together in the rally that was held at Quasimodo’s Cafe in downtown Paris.

The Kraken was in possession of 4 accordions which he would be playing with his 8 arms while Renfield would be singing the popular Neapolitan song O Sole Mio.

Renfield began as the Kraken lovingly caressed and played his accordions,

Che bella cosa na jurnata e’ sole
Naria serena doppo na tempesta!
Pe’ ll’aria fresca pare gia na festa
Che bella cosa na jurnata e’ sole.

When Renfield had finished to vigourous applause, he then spoke,

“Europe! This is your final chance
to break Brussels’ chains and dance
to the tune of liberty
resist Macron’s fiberty.”

He then sang the English language version of O Sole Mio whose lyrics were made popular by Elvis Presley in his 1960 recording of the song:

It’s now or never
(the cafe’s dancer Esmeralda comes on stage dressed as the goddess Europa being chased by a figure who looks like the Greek god Zeus riding a bull who has the facial features of Josef Stalin)
Come hold me tight
(Esmeralda as Europa goes rushing into Renfield’s arms)
Kiss me my darling
(Esmeralda as Europa kisses Renfield and blows a kiss to the accordion playing Kraken Napoleon VI as the phrase VOTE BRITISH TRANSHUMANIST-AQUARIAN AGE BONAPARTIST ALLIANCE appears in the background behind the stage)
Be mine tonight
(Esmeralda as Europa helps Renfield into a matador costume as the Zeus ridden Stalinesque bull pepares to charge)
Tomorrow will be too late
(The Zeus ridden Stalinesque bull charges at Renfield)
It’s now or never
(The matador Renfield pulls out his sword)
My love won’t wait
(Renfield slays the Zeus ridden Stalinesque bull with his sword and then proceeds to make out with Esmeralda as Europa as the curtain falls).

The rally was a huge success.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 11th
2019.

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Lepardia Marango and Dracul Van Helsing Enjoy An Evening of Bach and Vivaldi

April 4, 2019 at 10:35 pm (Arts, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Music, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )


Lepardia Marango: South African Cultural Attache and Dracul Van Helsing’s date for an evening of Bach and Vivaldi

Canadian vampire hunter Dracil Van Helsing had been given a pair of tickets to this evening’s London Philharmonic Concert entitled An Evening of Bach and Vivaldi.

MP Renfield R. Renfield had originally purchased the tickets for himself and his parliamentary colleague MP Morgana Fay Lee but they both had been invited to a dinner with British Prime Minister Theresa May tonight to discuss the new May-Corbyn Plan for Brexit (of which The Economist magazine had been given a sneak peak and had sent its editor into a state of orgasm).

Dracul Van Helsing decided to ask as his date for this evening Lepardia Marango who was the Cultural Attache at the South African Embassy in London:

Dracul Van Helsing picked her up in a 1939 Rolls-Royce Phantom III that had for its chauffeur Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

They enjoyed a steak and seafood dinner at the Savoy Hotel and then went to the concert.

As the orchestra was warming up, Lepardia and Dracul discussed the concert as they looked at the program sheets.

“I see the Kraken who calls himself Napoleon VI is going to be singing Bach’s Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring in the guest singer song recital with the orchestra tonight,” Dracul noted.

“Isn’t he a French politician?” Lepardia asked.

“Yes, he heads the Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party and he won last place in a field of a dozen candidates in the last French Presidential election. Although he and his wife Medusa did win seats in the National Assembly for the Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party,” Dracul answered.

“His wife Medusa?” Lepardia queried, “She’s the ex-Gorgon?”.

“That’s right,” Dracul nodded, “Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s robot barber Edward Scissorhands II gave her a haircut and removed all her snakes. I believe they were sent over to Ireland along with some dandruff remover on a Saint Patrick’s Day a while back. Medusa is now a beautiful woman again.”

“Didn’t he crown himself Emperor of France a few years back?” Lepardia inquired in relation to the Kraken.

“He did,” Van Helsing replied in the affirmative, “The only one who recognized the coronation was Pope Francis who did so in the hopes of providing greater inter-species cooperation on the planet.”

Lepardia and Dracul listened in rapture as all of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons were played.

They went out at intermission and enjoyed a glass of champagne.

An acquaintance of Miss Marango informed the duo that the dinner meeting with Theresa May had apparently and abruptly ended when Renfield had poured spaghetti and meatballs over the head of Baron Rothschild in a heated argument.

The pair then went into the auditorium for the 2nd half of the concert.

The final performance of the evening was the Kraken singing Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring.

The Kraken came out looking resplendent in a multi-armed and multi-legged tuxedo with aquamarine coloured bow tie.

He bowed to the audience’s applause and then proceeded to sing Bach’s Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring.

Half-way into his recital, the Papal Nuncio to London Msgr. Eltonjohnus Oscarwildeus stood up in the audience and accused the Kraken of proselytism by singing a song with such lyrics.

Msgr. Eltonjohnus Oscarwildeus pointed out that Pope Francis had just declared proselytism a mortal sin on a recent visit to Morocco and the Kraken shouldn’t be doing such things.

The Kraken’s wife Medusa stood up in the audience and defended her husband pointing out that the Kraken was in fact a Scientologist as a result of a weekend seminar workshop he had attended with Tom Cruise and John Travolta.

Medusa then pointed out that she herself was a defrocked priestess of the Temple of Athena.

A London imam, who in fact had been enjoying the Kraken’s recital of Bach’s Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring, proceeded to end the interruption by punching the lights out of Msgr. Eltonjohnus Oscarwildeus.

The papal nuncio to London was then carried out on a stretcher as he quietly hummed the Beatles’ song, “In an octopus’ garden in the shade…”

After the concert was over, Dracul and Lepardia then went to a quiet cafe for coffee and dessert.

The papal nuncio meanwhile was wheeled into the waiting room of a London hospital where coincidentally Renfield R. Renfield was sitting there waiting with a late Victorian/early Edwardian antique teapot stuck to his hand.

Renfield remarked to his parliamentary colleague Morgana Fay Lee, “I feel so much like Rowan Atkinson’s Mr. Bean right now.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 4th
2019.

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