Wilkie The Cat Performs Nat King Cole: A Poem

October 19, 2018 at 8:59 pm (Comedy, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Musicals, News, Poetry, Politics, Satire, theatre, Theatre Arts) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Wilkie The Cat
had a lovers’ spat
His girlfriend Mitzi
was raging spitzy

She had broken her parasol
saving Wilkie from a very deep hole
by red hot pokering a Saudi librarian mole
Trump defended the Saudi librarian assassin
and took to Twitter tweety bashin’

Saudi Arabia had threatened to fly planes into Canadian Toronto’s CN Tower
while Mohammad bin Salman like Putin gave Trump a golden shower
No wonder the Donald’s hairpiece was a sickening gold yellow toupee
for Putin and the Saudi Crown Prince performed like it was a rainy day
Mid-term elections were soon on the way
Was Robert Mueller making hay?
Democrats wondered
as Lizzie Warren blundered

The New York Times defended the Senator’s DNA test
because of brains and intelligence, The Times had not been blessed
It took one to hate one was that old adage
which is why Trump and The Times exchanged nasty tweets and cabbage

But fortunately for Wilkie’s relationship, he got a good gig
and an assignment that his girl Mitzi should really dig
He and she were invited to perform at a political party function
and did not have to play the part of Beverly Hillbillies at Petticoat Junction

It was at the Lincoln Performing Arts Centre
and Wilkie promised Mitzi he wouldn’t go on a bender

Mitzi dressed as Elizabeth Warren took to the stage
while politicos gazed at her like lions released from a cage
Mitzi began to sing,

Cherokee people,
Cherokee tribe,
so proud to live
so proud to die

and maybe someday when we’ve learned,
Cherokee Nation will return, will return

Wilkie The Cat came on stage dressed like Nat King Cole,
he really relished getting into this role
He pointed at Mitzi as Warren and began to sing,
“Oh yes, she’s the great pretender…”
after the show, Wilkie went on a bender.

For he got the attending crowd wrong
turning this into his Lincoln Center swan song
He thought he was performing to Republicans but alas! they were Democrats
and now Wilkie and Mitzi were once again unemployed performing arts cats.

-A Wilkie The Cat poem
written by Christopher
Friday October 19th
2018.

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Phantom of The Opera: A Poem As Sung and Recorded By Amadeus Emanon

September 14, 2018 at 10:37 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Fantasy, Film, Folklore, Ghost Story, love, Music, music videos, Musicals, Poetry, Romance, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Phantom of The Opera: A Poem
Sung and Recorded By Amadeus Emanon

Amadeus Emanon was at London music promoter Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell’s Wuthering Heights and Glencoe Hospitality Recording Studios (owned by Heathcliff’s company Aulos Music and Recording Ltd.) to record his first album Erik’s Lament: The Agony and Ecstasy of A Phantom In The Night.

Amadeus Emanon sang this song:

Phantom of The Opera: A Lament

Oh Phantom, you are the lonely one
You loved Christine who was daylight
to your realms of darkness
She let the sunlight shine in your heart
You taught her to sing
But she taught you to love
And hers by far was the greater gift

There in your lair beneath the Opera deep
Where you lay many an hour to lie there and weep
And let the hate consume your heart like heat
Burned and singed was it making your scar look neat

For your look you thought no one could love
Depriving you of joy on earth and in heaven above
But Christine looked and she saw
but you turned away and you let her go
For in the mirror you saw just the scar
But in her eyes, she saw your very soul
But you did not see and you did not know
And your love departed by the river’s flow

Oh what music you could have made
But your heart you buried in hate’s grave
For Christine wanted to be your love not your slave
Now she’s left you and gone away
While you pine all night and long for day
The day you once had but chased away
leaving you with childhood toys you used to play
And now your soul then your music will decay.

(-A poem written by Christopher
Friday September 7th 2018)

Inspired by the character of Erik as he is portrayed in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical The Phantom of The Opera.

Amadeus Emanon as he appears on the cover of his album (making it look like he was posing with his violin in an old 19th Century style photograph)

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Renfield’s Past Forays Into The Theatrical Arts

June 15, 2017 at 3:12 pm (Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, Musicals, Stage, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Britain’s The Sun newspaper decided to do a story on newly elected British MPs.

The first MP selected was Renfield R. Renfield the newly elected MP for the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds.

He was one of two MPs elected for the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party.

Allthough Mr. Renfield founded the British Transhumanist Party in 2013, he was ousted as Party Leader in 2015 after the British Transhumanist Party’s disastrous showing in the May 2015 UK General Election.

He was replaced by Welsh songstress Morgana Fay Lee (who some people call the Welsh Vampiress Morgana) as Party Leader.

Morgana Fay Lee was likewise elected an MP in her constituency of Newbridge in Wales.

After their two parliamentary electoral victories in this past June 8th UK General Election, Morgana announced she was stepping aside as Party leader saying she was unable to carry out much duties in the daytime (further leading to speculation that she’s a vampiress).
Welsh Vampiress Morgana
Welsh Vampiress Morgana After Twilight

Although Mr. Renfield R. Renfield is a long-time Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for the British firm Set Enterprises (owned by the billionaire Egyptian Mr. Sol Invictus Set), he is best known for his forays into the field of theatrical arts.

A Clockwork Orange
Scene from Renfield R. Renfield’s West End London’s stage production of Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange.

Puccini's Madame Butterfly
Scene from Renfield R. Renfield’s production of Puccini’s Madame Butterfly.

My Fair Lady
Scene from Renfield R. Renfield’s production of the musical My Fair Lady.

Hot Girls In Love
A scene from the music video Renfield R. Renfield shot for the song Hot Girls In Love.

Alice In Wonderland
And upon not seeing either the March Hare or the Mad Hatter anywhere in sight, Alice poured tea for herself.
-From the Renfield R. Renfield production of Alice In Wonderland.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 15th
2017.

The Welsh Vampiress Morgana
The Welsh Vampiress Morgana: Never appeared in a Renfield R. Renfield production thus saving her musical and artistic career and allowing her to be elected to Parliament.

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Adolf Hitler: The Opera: Interlude Between Act I scene i and Act I scene ii

December 22, 2016 at 6:39 pm (History, Music, Musicals, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Adolf Hitler: The Opera: Interlude Between Act I scene i and Act I scene ii

Renfield R. Renfield has decided to put in an interlude between Act I scene i and Act I scene ii for the opera on Adolf Hitler he was commissioned to write.

In this interlude, an actor who looks a lot like the late Ugandan dictator Idi Amin but who has a singing voice that sounds much like singer Harry Belafonte stands on stage between acts and sings the following song:

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Adolf?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He killed a lot of people but the evil they die middle aged
I just looked around and he’s gone.

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Josef?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He killed a lot of people but the evil they die somewhat old
I just looked around and he’s gone

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Mao?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He killed a lot of people but the evil they die elderly
(particularly if they’re Asian- must be that rice diet)
I just looked around and he’s gone

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Kim?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
You’re probably asking me which one?
But to me, North Korean despots all look the same
I just look around and they all look the same

* * *

At this point, Amadeus Emanon stopped reading Renfield’s script.

Said Amadeus while munching on a chocolate eclair, “I’m amazed at the way you were able to work politically incorrect ethnic stereotypes into a song that was already politically incorrect in its praise of despotic dictators.”

“I know,” Renfield grinned, “I just can’t help being a genius.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 22nd
2016.

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Adolf Hitler: The Opera Act I, scene i

December 13, 2016 at 5:32 pm (History, Music, Musicals, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Adolf Hitler: The Opera Act I, Scene i

Renfield R. Renfield had been commissioned by an individual known only as Robur The Conquerer to write an opera about the life of Adolf Hitler.

Most artists would have been reluctant to write an opera about a figure of such infamy.

Renfield was the type of artist who would not succumb to such reluctance.

He’d do anything for money- or a great tasting tuna fish sandwich- or a steamy blow job from a sexy and voluptuous porn star in a hot tub.

Robur The Conquerer arranged for Renfield to get all three.

As a result, Renfield was now working on an opera about Adolf Hitler.

Act I, scene i, Adolf Hitler: The Opera

(The young Hitler stands on the set of a Wagnerian opera that was staged in Linz, Austria and imagines himself to be the knight Parsifal)

Hitler (singing) : To be a Fuhrer King,
to be a Fuhrer King
it is, it is, a glorious thing to be a Fuhrer King.

(He pauses)

Hitler (breaks into song again):
How much is that Swastika in the window?
The only with the squiggly tail.
I do hope that Swastika is for sale.

(He pauses again)

Hitler: I could have Crystal Night
I could have Crystal Night
I could send my troopers
in German beer stein stupors
And smash a thousand windows…

(He pauses again)

Hitler: Oh why can’t the Germans teach their children how to hate
Oh why can’t the Germans teach their children how to hate
For being the Aryan Master Race is assuredly our fate…

(He pauses again)

Hitler: The camps are alive with the sound of screaming
with screams they have screamed
for a thousand years
Our Reich will be blessed with the sound of screaming…

Hitler: Stormtroopers with pistols
marching to Aryan whistles
these are a few of my favourite things…

(He pauses again)

Hitler: Old Jews charge exorbitant rent
Kaisers and Czars are duly spent
I’m a man of means by no means
King of the world

I know all of the nations and all of their names
They will drown in Nordic god rains
old legends I have found
will make our Aryan future sound
I’m a man of means by no means
King of the World

(He pauses again)

Hitler: To be a Fuhrer King,
to be a Fuhrer King
it is, it is a glorious thing
to be a Fuhrer King

Deep Booming Sinister Voice (from back of the theatre) : And what would you give, young Adolf, in return for being a Fuhrer King?

-A Renfieldian opera
written by Christopher
Thursday December 8th
2016.

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On Don Quixote, Foolishness and Christ

July 20, 2015 at 7:52 pm (Literature, Musicals, Personal essays, Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

On Don Quixote, Foolishness and Christ

I was a boy at a public speaking competition
the prize: a trip to visit the UN in New York City
but I didn’t win
I came in second
so no trip to the Big Apple for me
just a week at a summer camp in the Alberta Rockies
My uncle tried to cheer me up by saying the truly great orators of Roman history often started out winning 2nd in public speaking competitions in their youth
Those who won first were usually devoid of original ideas and won by singing praises and kissing the ass of the current status quo in Rome
They quickly went into obscurity and were forgotten in the annals of history
Those who won second were brilliant speakers who couldn’t be ignored but yet their original ideas frightened the competition judges so they were awarded runner up rather than the big prize
My uncle’s words did cheer me up
but what I remember most about the competition was the event’s guest adult speaker
an ordained minister in the United Church of Canada
who chose as his topic Cervantes’ Don Quixote
The minister mentioned that in writing Don Quixote,
Cervantes’ purpose was to mock ideas of knightly chivalry
That chivalry was an idea from long ago
only kept alive in novels
and those who tried to live by such ideas were foolish
and ended up being made fools of like Don Quixote
But the minister said that in reading Don Quixote himself,
Cervantes’ work had the opposite effect on him than the author intended
That Don Quixote was a fool, yes
but a fool in the sense that Christ was a fool
fighting for ideas that were worth fighting for
That Don Quixote suffered and was mocked
but then so Christ suffered and was mocked
that there are causes worth suffering for and being mocked for
Quixote had taken a loose woman and imagined her a lady Dulcinea del Toboso
Christ took a woman out of whom He had cast 7 devils and made her a lady Mary Magdalene
Mary Magdalene went from sinner to saint because Christ truly saw who she was and what she could become
And Mary became that because she was transformed by this image that Christ had for her
In the musical Man of La Mancha the loose woman that Quixote imagined a lady Dulcinea del Toboso
although cynical and scornful at first
slowly turns into that lady
because Quixote’s love for her is more noble and pure than any she has ever known
By the end of the musical,
she too wishes “to dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go…
To reach the unreachable star.”

And the last stanza of Don Quixote’s Impossible Dream,
“And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star.”

That man in the last stanza, the United Church minister concluded in his talk, was Christ.
He dreamed the impossible dream- that God could become truly human and would know the suffering and toil and pain it is to be human.
He bore with unbearable sorrow, betrayed by a friend, denied by a friend, abandoned by friends, a Crown of Thorns, beatings and mockery and a Cross unto death.
He went where the brave dared not go
The place that was foreordained for His death – in His case the city of Jerusalem (“And it came to pass, when the time was come that He should be received up, He stedfastly set His face to go to Jerusalem” -Luke 9:51).
He fought the unbeatable foe- Death- and beat him.
He reached the unreachable star- He restored fallen man -who was trapped in a Hell of his own making- to Paradise.

-A personal narrative poem
written by Christopher
Monday July 20th
2015.

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Haiku About Scottish Singer Susan Boyle’s 2009 Appearance On Britain’s Got Talent

July 18, 2015 at 7:32 pm (Entertainment, Music, Musicals, Poetry, Songs, Television, TV Shows) (, , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Scottish Singer Susan Boyle’s 2009 Appearance On Britain’s Got Talent

She did dream a dream
wowing stern Simon Cowell
dreams sometimes come true

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Phantom of The Opera: A Poem

October 27, 2014 at 3:19 pm (Entertainment, Musicals, Mystery/horror, Poetry) (, , , )

Phantom of the Opera: A Poem

Watch, watch the chandelier fall
on the rafters Erik does crawl
a sensitive soul ill treated by the human race
now his vengeance is wreaked in this place
The Paris Opera House
Christine his desired spouse
now Christine might have loved the artist in him
but for her- murder is the darkest sin
so Viscount Raoul de Chagny becomes her mate among the human race
for Christine detested Erik’s scar but not the one on his face
(listen to the drum roll)
for the one on his soul.

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday October 27th 2014
inspired by the Andrew Lloyd Webber
musical The Phantom of The Opera

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Haiku About Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers

March 3, 2014 at 7:20 pm (Entertainment, History, Movies, Musicals, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers

Astaire and Rogers
dance night away as top hat
tails meet dress and heels

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