Dr. Marmalade Montague Investigates Causes of Sulphuric Explosions

September 28, 2022 at 11:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dr. Marmalade Montague was a scientist who worked at Set Enterprises in London.

Even though he had no official background in science.

He had owned a bakery in Paris that went out of business during the 2020 plandemic lockdown under the orders of France’s Neo-Vichy tyrant Emmanuel Macron.

Still Marmalade Montague knew more about science than most of the so-called health “experts” who dispensed bad advice by the manure filled truckload during the plandemic of 2020-2021.

Dr. Marmalade Montague’s current project was investigating the causes of sulphurous explosions.

For this purpose he had sent Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was the son of Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom) to the Yellowstone Caldera Supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park to pick up a sample of sulphurous contents bubbling up from the ground.

While Yaldabaoth was there using a baby bottle to pick up a sample from one of the bubbling craters, the crater had a major explosion.

Luckily for Yaldabaoth, being a leprechaun, he was immortal so the explosion didn’t kill him.

However it did put a dent into his plans to spend a night at the Moonlite BunnyRanch in Nevada as he could hardly go into the place smelling like rotten eggs.

The explosion did however kill a sasquatch who was walking by.

The sasquatch was currently in the process of litigation (a major lawsuit) against the man codenamed PH Unbalanced by Britain’s MI-6 Agency and the man considered the world’s most boring author.

The world’s most boring author had written a novel claiming that this sasquatch had murdered the world’s most boring sheriff’s deputy.

The claim was in fact true but what the sasquatch objected to was being written about and included as a character in a novel that was so unbelievably colossally boring.

He hadn’t been able to get a date since the novel was published as most female sasquatch and even a few gay, bisexual and transgendered sasquatch considered him too boring to date.

The sasquatch had gone to a City of Laramie Wyoming law firm to launch a lawsuit against the world’s most boring author PH Unbalanced filing the claim that “being included as a character in the world’s most boring novel written by the world’s most boring author had totally ruined his sex life”.

Now as a result of the sulphurous explosion, the sasquatch was dead.

Yaldabaoth after several months of showering would be able to have a sex life again.

The poor sasquatch being dead could not.

Dr. Marmalade Montague was also investigating the cause of Joe Biden’s sulphurous bowel movements alluded to into final (and end of life) reports written by some of the world’s late top secret agents in spy agencies.

For that, Dr. Marmalade Montague was using the visions of Michelangelo the psychic lobster.

Apparently back on January 28th 2021 (7 days after Biden was inaugurated having successfully stolen the 2020 U.S. Presidential election), senile old Joe had been invited to speak at a United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City in March of that year.

He was not to be the number one speaker however.

He was to be the number two speaker (which was appropriate for Joe).

The number one speaker was to be the well known Jewish Rastafarian and self described “independent pharmaceutical manufacturer” from Australia known by the popular moniker of Uncle Ernie (assuming of course that Uncle Ernie wouldn’t be in jail in Australia “drummed up on some nefarious charges brought against him by the government” as Uncle Ernie would put it).

The fallen archangel Mephistopheles (who was one of Joe Biden’s 3 supernatural advisors along with Baal and Baphomet) had recommended to Joe that he send someone to try to find the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and bring them to the U.S. for Joe Biden to eat the remains prior to giving his number two speech to the United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City.

The Gadarene swine of course had been possessed by the demons known as Legion and had been sent by Jesus Christ into the swine after Jesus had successfully exorcised a man known as the Gadarene demoniac.

The swine then charged into the Sea of Galilee.

Thus acting on orders from Joe Biden, the American Deep State set about to recover the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

Israeli Mossad agent Anna Chador to a Tel Aviv based scuba diver: “Would you be able to dive to the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and see if the remains of the Gadarene swine are still down there and if they are to bring them up to the surface?”.

He: Yes.

Unfortunately for Biden and Mephistopheles, those agencies associated with the American Deep State such as the CIA were having a top secret convention at Area 51 (remember this was the time of the plandemic and everything and everyone was supposed to be in lockdown) and the treats at this top secret convention were Australian Uncle Ernie’s independently made pharmaceuticals.

Thus after the convention, the CIA were in no shape whatsoever to go looking for the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

However there were plenty of reports of sightings of UFOs and ETs at Area 51 after this convention.

Thus the spaced-out CIA outsourced the mission to the Israeli Mossad.

The task was assigned to one of Israel’s top female agents Anna Chador and after consulting with a Tel Aviv based scuba diver, a deep sea mission was undertaken and the Gadarene Swine were found perfectly preserved at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

The bodies were raised from the depths and then flown to Washington DC.

Hell’s Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsay was brought in to cook the remains at the White House.

He made pork chops out of them which he topped with his famous homemade Sriracha laced apple sauce.

Joe Biden ate all of the Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce leaving the other guests at dinner hungry and awestruck at the senile old fool’s ravenous appetite.

The Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce remained fully stuck in Joe Biden’s intestines and could never be removed (something the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles knew would happen).

The direct result of the Gadarene swine pork chops and Sriracha laced homemade apple sauce being forever stuck in Biden’s intestines would be that he would always have sulphurous explosive bowel movements.

It was fortunate that the New York Chapter of the United Jewish Appeal decided to have their dinner and speeches via Zoom due to the plandemic.

The secret service agents guarding Biden on the night of his United Jewish Appeal Zoom dinner speech were not so lucky.

In an effort to boost the profits of the pharmaceutical manufacturing investments of one Dr. Anthony Fauci, the cause of the secret service agents’ deaths was listed as Covid rather than sulphurous fumes.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 28th
2022.

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Pan Goatee Beheads Yet Another Uglo At The Dollar Store

August 2, 2022 at 10:34 pm (Aesthetics, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, )

Pan Goatee managed to survive the August 1st long weekend without seeing a single uglo.

But it’s the 2nd day of August and a repulsive looking uglo once again has to put in an appearance in the local dollar store.

Pan Goatee was down at the local Dollar store.

There was once again only one cashier working tonight but that was okay because there was only one person ahead of him and he only had one item.

A bag of potato chips.

But sadly for Pan Goatee, the would-be potato chip purchaser was a total moron.

He did not know how to tap his card on the machine to make a purchase.

5 minutes later the imbecile somehow inadvertently managed to successfully tap the machine and a potato chip purchase was made.

The moron then left the store.

Goatee went up to the cashier and put his bottles of Lemonade and Diet Pepsi down.

Even though there was no other customers an airheaded cashier came and opened up another till.

And lo and behold a repulsive looking uglo (of the thin ugly looking stoat like variety) arrived and got in front of Pan Goatee to head to the newly opened airhead’s till.

The uglo had a female friend with her.

The repulsive looking uglo said in a squeaky squealy high pitched voice to the airheaded cashier, “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re pretty?”.

“Well too bad the same couldn’t be said about you, bitch,” Goatee commented as he beheaded the uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

He then beheaded the uglo’s friend for being a friend of the uglo.

He then beheaded the airheaded cashier for opening up a new till right at the front of the straight line of cash registers allowing the repulsive looking uglo to get in front of him.

After the satyr finished cutting up the latter two into 999 trillion pieces each, Krampus arrived looking suntanned and burnt to a crisp from his tropical Hawaiian vacation to carry the remains of Pan’s victims down to the fiery flames of Tartarus.

Ares the Greek god of war (who had been filling in for Krampus while the latter was on vacation) had himself now gone on vacation to Taiwan.

Which was a stupid place to be seeing as how Nancy Pelosi was there.

Goatee left the store and happened to spot the moron with the bag of potato chips who had taken so long to figure out how to tap his card on the credit/debit card digital reading machine.

“Because of your bloody goddamned stupidity in trying to figure out how to do something so simple as to tap a card on a machine, I was forced to encounter a repulsive ugly looking woman,” Goatee explained as he beheaded the bag of potato chips carrying imbecile and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

When Krampus arrived to pick up the remains of the beheaded and dismembered moronic imbecile, Pan threw the partly eaten bag of potato chips at the Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon, “Here, enjoy these. In appreciation of your hard work.”

As Pan Goatee walked down the street, he encountered the Demon Buffalo of Buffalo Lake and now (the recent papally blessed) Lac Ste. Anne.

“I was wondering,” Pan asked the Demon Buffalo, “if you knew who this great Western Grandmother opening up the Circle of Spirits was that was being invoked by Huron-Wendat First Nations shaman Raymond Gros-Louis while satanic AntiPope Francis, his retinue of bishops and cardinals, Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau and Canadian Governor-General Mary Simon all placed their hands on their hearts while she the great Western Grandmother with her Circle of Spirits was being invoked at the Citadel in Quebec City?”.

“Well,” the Demon Buffalo started eating nearby passers-by, “I imagine that the great Western Grandmother who was being invoked is Spider Grandmother who is an important figure in the mythology, oral traditions and folklore of many Native American cultures in the southwestern United States. In Hopi mythology, Spider Grandmother also called Gogyeng Sowuhti can take the shape of an old or timeless woman or take the shape of a common spider in many Hopi stories. When she is in her spider shape, she lives underground in a hole that is like a Kiva. A Kiva is a space used by Puebloans (the Pueblo peoples of the southwest) for rites associated with the kachina (spirit being) system. The kiva is a large room that is circular and underground and generally used for spiritual ceremonies. In the Hopi creation story, Tawa the sun god and Spider Woman (aka Spider Grandmother) the Earth Goddess separate themselves into parts to create other lesser gods, then create the world and its creatures. This is similar to the Zuni creation myth where Spider Grandmother also plays a part. In Navajo mythology, Spider Woman is said to cast her web like like a net to capture and eat misbehaving children. She spent time on a rock aptly named Spider Rock which is said to have turned white from the bones resting in the sun. In the Pueblo tradition, she is called Spider Old Woman. The Spider Woman or Spider Grandmother of the southwestern U.S. tribes is believed to be the same being/entity as the pre-Columbian Teotihuacan Great Goddess because their pictorial representations are the same.”

“Thanks,” Pan said.

“You’re welcome,” the Demon Buffalo belched after having eaten a University of Calgary anthropology professor.

-A vampire novel chapter
written Tuesday August 2nd
2022.

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Mistress of The Dark

June 30, 2022 at 10:59 pm (Entertainment, Film, Horror, Mystery/horror, Mythology, Short Story, Television, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Greek goddess Aphrodite filling in for vintage horror movie TV show hostess Vampira on a summer evening in Los Angeles in 1954

Vampira hosted a vintage horror movie TV show on the Los Angeles ABC TV affiliate KABC-TV from 1954 to 1955.

It was a summer evening in 1954 and Vampira had come down with laryngitis.

How was she to host her show tonight?

It was fortunate for Vampira that her drinking companion that night was the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

Aphrodite volunteered to fill in for her.

The scene now switches to a Los Angeles home where 8-year-old Henry a rather precocious boy used to go downstairs to the living room while his parents were asleep and turn on the family black and white TV on low volume and watch The Vampira Show on late night TV.

Tonight he was doing the same again.

The show’s announcer announced, “Regrettably Vampira is unable to host the show tonight…”

“Awwww…” said Henry.

“However Aphrodite is going to fill in for her and here’s Aphrodite…”

“Yay,” said Henry when he saw her.

Henry didn’t think much of the movie being shown but he did like the scenes where Aphrodite gave commentary.

Having divine sight, the goddess saw the psychopathic clown that had entered Henry’s family home and was holding a knife over Henry as the boy sat on the floor in front of the television.

She grabbed the vampire stake from inside the movie being shown and putting her hand through the TV screen in the living room staked the psychopathc clown to death.

“Wow, cool,” Henry enthused.

His mother was not so enthusiastic when she saw the mess on the living toom floor the next morning.

Henry was unable to sit down comfortably for the next week.

-A short story
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 30th
2022.

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The Baron and Beelzebub

May 4, 2022 at 9:26 pm (History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, )

A statue of Beelzebub suddenly appeared mysteriously atop Castle von Luftwaffen

Back on January 18th 1871 Germany united as a nation under Chancellor Otto von Bismarck.

Hwever unbeknownst to history Bismarck had a rival named Baron Hermann von Luftwaffen.

Baron Hermann von Luftwaffen at a huge banquet at Castle Luftwaffen on January 18th 1846, after overindulging in sauerkraut and sausage, decided on a whim to sell his soul to the demon Beelzebub for 25 years of wealth and power.

Baron von Luftwaffen got his 25 years of wealth and power.

However as January 18th 1871 approached, Baron Hermann von Luftwaffen started feeling nervous.

The demon Beelzebub would soon be arriving to collect his debt.

He also was ticked at the fact that Germany would soon become a united Empire for the first time in almost a millenium since the days of Frederick Barbarossa King of Germany and Holy Roman Emperor.

He was wanting to become the first Chancellor of a reunited Germany.

He was planning to send his rival Otto von Bismarck a large slice of poisoned venison (deer meat) for a banquet that the Prussian leader was planning.

Unfortunately for von Luftwaffen, Bismarck’s chef burnt the venison so the venison wasn’t served.

After consulting with a Church lawyer (a Jesuit), Baron Hermann von Luftwaffen discovered that if he could become immortal, his contract with Beelzebub would become null and void since he von Luftwafften couldn’t die and his body and soul couldn’t become separated.

The baron wasn’t sure how he could become immortal.

He didn’t have enough time to find the Fountain of Youth in Florida or search through various ancient, medieval and Renaissance documents for a possible elixir of eternal life or a spell to make him immortal.

However his spies informed him that the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith had been seen in Berlin.

Perhaps Lilith could turn him into a vampire and he could enjoy a form of vampiric immortality.

On January 17th 1871 Lilith turned Baron Hermann von Luftwaffen into a vampire.

Baron von Luftwaffen rode back in triumph to his ancestral home Castle von Luftwaffen.

He went for a walk atop his castle.

He was shocked to see a statue of Beelzebub atop one of his castle towers.

He was so shocked that he stood there absolutely petrified.

When morning arrived, the statue of Beelzebub came to life as the demon Beelzebub.

Beelzebub grinned and said,”Don’t you know that as a vampire you shouldn’t be standing there in the sunlight?”.

Baron Hermann von Luftwaffen gave an anguished cry as he burst into flames.

Beelzebub collected his soul.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 4th
2022.

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The Vision of Apophis

April 26, 2022 at 9:25 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Apophis the ancient Egyptian serpent god of chaos, darkness, evil and destruction

A tourist bus rolled through the desert
Towards the pyramids
An astronomer Paul Leblanc
Had fallen asleep aboard the bus

He dreamed he was heading towards the pyramids
When suddenly stars fell from the sky into the desert
And a fierce looking serpent
That the well educated Leblanc
Recognized as the serpent god Apophis
Seemed to embrace the entire desert
As the fires of Hell rose
From beneath the sands

Leblanc woke up
As the pyramids came into view
No sign of Apophis, falling stars or Hell fire rising
from desert sands
Leblanc looked to his left
At his fellow passenger
Who turned out to be
Thoth
The Egyptian god of time
With his ibis head
And all

Thoth picked up a very tall hour glass
Whose sands had run out
Thoth grinned and said,
“Time’s up”
The first of several falling stars
Appeared across the Egyptian desert
Night sky
Over the pyramids

-A horror poem
written
Tuesday April 26th
2022.

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The Panther Woman and The God of Surprises

April 22, 2022 at 11:30 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Gothic, History, Horror, Mystery, Mystery/horror, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Claudia Simon The Panther Woman

Carson Cody Albion, a private eye then based in New Orleans, was spending April of 1935 visiting New York City.

He was visiting an old college acquaintance of his who had now become an inspector in the New York Police Department.

“Inspector Hennessy,” his secretary brought into her boss’ office the private eye from New Orleans, “a Mr. Carson Cody Albion to see you.”

“Carson, my old friend,” the Inspector rushed to greet him.

They discussed old times and college days.

And how the philosopher Hegel (who they had both studied in the same philosophy course they took) was a major pain in the ass.

However Hegel’s influence on the world was profound in the decade of the 1930s.

Hegel, as interpreted through the lens of the left wing Hegelians particularly Marx, was influencing Bolshevism and Communism.

Hegel, as interpreted through the lens of the right wing Hegelians particularly Nietzsche, was influencing Nazism and Fascism.

Inspector Hennessy was then discusing cases he was working on.

One involved a wild animal walking the streets of New York City.

A black coloured panther with golden green eyes who ripped out the throats of its victims.

The other involved a serial killer dressed as a clown who slashed the throats of his victims.

Beside his victims, he left a fortune cookie that always had the same message, “Be prepared to be surprised by the god of surprises.”

Albion said he’d help Hennessy with the case.

As Albion walked back to his hotel, he passed a tarot card reading room.

A very beautiful young woman dressed in the beautiful coloured blouse and skirt of a gypsy woman stood outside.

“A reading, sir,” she smiled at him.

“Why not?” Said Albion.

He did not believe in tarot cards or crystal balls but he had time to kill.

Interestingly enough the reading sort of matched the case his friend Inspector Hennessy was working on.

When the reading was over, the lovely brunette gypsy woman smiled at him and said, “Remember, sir, it takes a thief to catch a thief.”

Curious statement, Albion thought.

Albion was walking by a Church – Saint Raphael’s- when he noticed the priest locking up.

“Good evening, Father,” Albion said.

“Good evening,” said the priest, “You’re Carson Cody Albion are you not?”.

“Why, yes,” Albion nodded, “You know me?”.

“I have a niece who lives in New Orleans,” the priest explained, “She’s sent me newspaper clippings about your exploits. She knows I have a weakness for detective stories- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes, G.K. Chesterton’s Father Brown and Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot.”

“Excellent writers and excellent detectives all of them,” Albion acknowledged.

“Working on a case here in New York?” The priest asked.

Albion mentioned the panther and also the clown serial killer who called himself the God of Surprises.

“This clown serial killer the God of Surprises is a sinister individual,” the priest crossed himself with the Sign of the Cross, “I believe he’s human but yet he’s possesed of a supernatural paranormal power that I believe is demonic in origin.”

“What makes you think that, Father?” Albion was curious.

“I have to go to a hospital to hear confessions but meet me here at the rectory at noon tomorrow,” the priest pointed, “It’s right next to the Church.”

Albion agreed.

At 2 AM Albion woke up.

Feeling restless he decided to go for a walk.

He walked past Saint Raphael’s Church and was surprised to see a moving van out in front.

A moving van in the middle of the night?

At a Church?

The movers were moving Crosses and Crucifixes and statues of Mary and the Saints from the Church into the van.

This is curious, Albion thought.

He looked at the name on the van PILTDOWN AND PEKING MOVERS.

Weird, Albion thought.

The following morning Albion again walked in the direction of the Church.

This time for his noon appointment with the priest rector of Saint Raphael’s at the Church rectory.

He was surprised to see CRIME SCENE yellow tape around the Church building.

Albion figured that possibly the middle of the night movers were in fact burglars and he Albion had neglected to stop them.

“What’s happened here, Hennessy?” Albion asked the inspector when he saw him.

“Well aside from the obvious theft of the Crosses and Crucifixes and statues of Mary and the Saints, the priest Father Lacroix was found dead at the altar with his throat slashed,” Hennessy stated, “along with a fortune cookie carrying the message, BE PREPARED TO BE SURPRISED BY THE GOD OF SURPRISES. Witnesses saw a clown carrying a bloodied knife flee the Church building.”

Hennessy and Albion went to talk to the rectory’s housekeeper to see if she knew if Father Lacroix had any enemies.

The housekeeper, an Irish woman in her mid-50s, sobbed that this clown serial killer the God of Surprises must be demonically possessed.

That’s why the Crosses and Crucifixes and statues of Mary and the Saints were taken out so that the demonic clown serial killer The God of Surprises could enter the Church and kill Father Lacroix.

Indeed it turned out there was no such moving company as PILTDOWN AND PEKING MOVERS.

Albion after helping Hennessy had gone to a local public pool for a swim.

While walking through the pool area he saw this woman.

Albion stopped to look at her.

“You recognize me, monsieur?” the woman spoke with a French accent.

As a matter of fact, he had seen a sketch of her.

In the notebook of one Barnabas Van Helsing a vampire hunter who wasn’t quite as famous as his elder brother Dr. Abraham Van Helsing.

Back in the early 1890s the City of New Orleans had been terrorized by a wild black panther with golden green eyes who killed New Orleans citizens by ripping out their throats.

Van Helsing had caught up with the panther who, the vampire hunter had claimed in his notebook, had shapeshifted into a beautiful woman.

The woman, Van Helsing claimed was an immortal, who turned into a panther on certain nights.

She was a 17th Century French noblewoman named Claudia Simon.

Van Helsing had sketched her picture.

Albion recognized the woman standing in front of him as being the same woman in Barnabas Van Helsing’s sketch.

He also recalled something else.

Something the gypsy woman had said to him yesterday.

It takes a thief to catch a thief.

A couple of hours later a very beautiful woman was walking through a dark neighbourhood.

The sounds of the stilettos on her high heeled shoes clicking the pavement.

The constant pulling up of her coat and adjusting of her skirt.

A clown started to follow her.

He carried a knife.

He walked very stealthily behind her and was about to strike… when the woman suddenly turned and spun around on her heels.

He was surprised.

“You appear to be surprised, oh, God of Surprises,” said the woman with a most exquisite French accent.

She turned into a panther and ripped out his throat.

The clown shouted out several last words before he died.

As Hennessy and Albion wrapped up the investigation, they discovered that the clown was a Jesuit priest named Father Edgar Noeticus who had studied under the French Jesuit priest paleontologist Father Pierre Teilhard de Chardin over in China.

No one was sure when Father Noeticus had left China and when he returned to the U.S.

However after he got his throat ripped out by the panther woman, he shouted out one final last cry, “Someday a Pope shall venerate me the God of Surprises.”

In his right hand as he died he clutched a fortune cookie with the message BE PREPARED TO BE SURPRISED BY THE GOD OF SURPRISES.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 22nd
2022.

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Toddy Sween The Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue

August 18, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Aesthetics, Horror, Mystery/horror, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking towards his neighbourhood shopping centre.

As he was crossing the street a fat ugly blimp approached.

“What is it with you blimps?” Pan removed his astral laser machete, “The local news channels, when they aren’t busy scaremongering and bullshitting and changing statistics with regard to the Delta variant, have pointed out that ugly women have been beheaded here the past few weeks and yet you repulsive uglos keep coming back here ruining my day when my eyes are visually assaulted by your fugly appearance. Do you morons enjoy being beheaded or something? Or have you watched so much Ophrah in your couch surfing and refrigerator raiding existence that you have a false sense of self-esteem (which invariably happens to people who have watched too much Oprah) and actually suffer from the delusion that you’re not ugly? Rest assured you are ugly. And quite repulsively ugly at that.”

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

An operative for evil globalists George Soros and Bill Gates stood across the street taking notes in his notebook and pencil sketching and painting a watercolour in his sketchpad of the scene to report back to Soros and Gates about Pan Goatee.

. . .

Toddy Sween the Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue in New York was being visited by Mephistopheles the fallen Archangel.

Sween had sold his soul to Mephistopheles during the pandemic last year after his barber shop like other small businesses (which didn’t have the influence of Wal-Mart or Home Depot) were closed by orders of New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor Bill de Blasio and the Moloch worshipping New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo.

In exchange, Sween slit the throat of every 7th customer of his and dropped him down the hole underneath his barber chair.

The vampiress great great great grandmother of American country singer Lyle Lovett (Lyle didn’t know she was still alive) who owned a meat pie shop next door would use the bodies as ingredients for her meat pies.

Mephistopheles also said he would call upon Toddy Sween to do favours for him whenever he asked.

Sween on this day was given a list by Mephistopheles of people whose throats should be slit.

“These people live all over the world,” Sween noted, “How much time do I have to slit their throats?”.

“24 hours,” Mephistopheles replied.

“24 hours?” Toddy was incredulous, “How am I supposed to get around the world in 24 hours?”.

“The ancient Assyrian/Mesopotamian/Babylonian demon Pazuzu is going to carry you on his back,” Mephistopheles replied.

Mephistopheles whistled.

And the demon Pazuzu appeared.

The demon Pazuzu.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 18th
2021.

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Michelangelo Sees A Coven of Satanists Sacrificing One of Their Own

August 8, 2021 at 10:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“And the light of a candle shall shine no more at all in thee (Mystery Babylon); and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee (Mystery Babylon); for thy (Mystery Babylon’s) merchants were the great men of the earth; for by thy sorceries were all nations deceived.”
-Book of Revelation 18:23, King James Version

“… for your merchants were the great men of the earth; for by your pharmaceuticals were all nations deceived.”
-Book of Revelation 18:23, Contemporary English Translation

After Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. Of E. Parish Church in West London had read the two different translations of Revelation 18:23, he began his sermon,

“Now the Greek word translated sorcery in the King James Version is pharmakeia from which we get our modern English words “pharmacy” and “pharmaceuticals”. Pharmakeia in the Greek can mean “medicine” or “medication” or “magic” (as in witchcraft or sorcery not a stage show). Now as for “the great men of the earth”, great here means “powerful” not necessarily good…”

Renfield whispered to his friend Amadeus, “I wonder if “the great men of the earth” that Saint John foresaw were named George Soros, Bill Gates, Dr. Anthony Fraudci… I mean Fauci…”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises laboratories.

He had just turned off his waterproof reading lamp and fallen asleep.

He then had a dream (or was it a vision?) of a coven of dark robed and red hooded satanists who were performing a satanic ritual ceremony.

The leader of the group was holding a staff bearing the twisting snake symbol of Asclepius the Greco-Roman god of medicine (who was the son of the Olympian god Apollo and the mortal princess Coronis).

The leader’s robe was lifted behind him and another darked robed and red hooded figure was kneeling behind him and kissing his bare buttocks.

At the left hand of the leader was a dark robed and red hooded figure holding an upside down Crucifix.

Actor Tom Cruise who had inadvertently stumbled into Michelangelo’s dream quickly left the dream with eyes wide shut as the ghost of director Stanley Kubrick stood there utterly transfixed and borrowed a line from Marlon Brando, “The horror… the horror…”

The leader spoke, “Tonight is the night one of our own must be sacrificed.”

A large group of dark robed and red hooded figures came up and drew lots from a naked and beautiful priestess of Aphrodite.

As they drew their respective lots, the Michael Jackson song Thriller was played on a record player.

Soon the shortest lot fell on to one.

That figure tripped and fell.

His hood came down revealing New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo.

The leader of the coven dropped his hood revealing one George Soros.

The hooded figure who had been kissing Soros’ backside dropped his hood revealing one Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis).

The figure on Soros’ left who had been holding the upside down Crucifix dropped his hood revealing one Bill Gates.

Others started dropping their hoods and started pointing their fingers at Cuomo.

“You must be sacrificed,” Nancy Pelosi, Dr. Anthony Fauci, New York Sen. Chuck Schumer, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, California Gov. Gavin Newsom, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer and Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam all pointed in unison at Cuomo.

As did numerous others.

One lone figure dropped his hood about 20 seconds after the others, started pointing and spoke (after finally getting the instructions on his ear piece), “You must be sacrificed.”

The figure was one Joe Biden who still had his dead German shepherd dog Champ clinging to his leg.

Biden sneezed.

He then stopped pointing and stopped saying “You must be sacrificed” in order to pick up all his boogies off the floor and eat them.

“You must be sacrificed,” the rest continued pointing at Cuomo and speaking in unison.

“Throw him under the bus,” Soros commanded.

The black robed figures picked up Cuomo and threw him under an approaching bus driven by a ferocious looking demon and who had 665 other ferocious looking demons as bus passengers.

And that was the end of New York State’s baby killing and elderly person killing and sexually assaulting governor.

Michelangelo woke up and reached for a peanut butter cookie.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 8th
2021.

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New York’s Andrew Cuomo and Bill de Blasio Are Apostles of The Antichrist

August 3, 2021 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Tuesday night podcast.

Like most of Renfield’s podcasts (which upset woke zombie airheads who can’t stand the music scene in Kelowna, British Columbia and can’t stand visiting the Jack The Ripper Museum in London), he was once again exposing the evils of Covid Neo-Communism.

Said Renfield,

“Let me talk about a British writer most of you have probably never heard of named Stanley Johnson. In 1982, Mr. Johnson had a book published called The Marburg Virus. The book was republished in 2015 under the name The Virus. The plot of the book is about a virus that’s released on the world from a lab. The really interesting bit is that a vaccine (developed by Big Pharma in cahoots with a population control freak billionaire) is then given to the world’s population and ends up killing more people than the original virus itself.
Now you might be inclined to think that the writer of this piece of fiction (?) Mr. Stanley Johnson probably thinks that bumping off most of the world’s population is wrong.
However you’d be wrong.
For this writer Stanley Johnson had a non-fiction book published back in 1973 called The Population Problem in which he said that probably the biggest problem the world will face in the 21st Century is the population problem. He said that unless steps are taken “now” (meaning 1973) to reduce the world’s population, more radical steps might have to be taken in the “third decade of the 21st Century” to reduce the world’s population (by the way, the third decade of the 21st Century began in 2020).
What might those more radical steps be?
Possibly reducing the world’s population by vaccine in response to a virus released from a lab as happens in Stanley Johnson’s book The Virus?
And out of respect for the noted Edmonton, Alberta, Canada sports broadcaster Bryan Hall, I’m not going to talk about the fact that this writer Stanley Johnson is the father of Boris Johnson the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. No, I’m not going to mention that.”

Renfield then moves on to his next subject.

“For this segment,” Renfield explained, “I’m going to ask my friend Amadeus Emanon a question which, unlike Hillary Clinton during the 2016 U.S. Presidential debates, he doesn’t know the answer to ahead of time.”

Amadeus appears on the right hand side of the screen next to Renfield.

Renfield asks Amadeus, “Now Amadeus, it is spiked proteins in the mRNA “vaccine” that is supposed to help you ward off the spiked proteins from the Corona virus. How many spike protein particles would you say is in a single dose injection of mRNA vaccine?”.

“I have no idea,” Amadeus replied.

“Take a guess,” said Renfield.

“Um…. 10,000?” Amadeus replied.

“Higher,” Renfield hinted, “much higher.”

“100,000?” Amadeus guessed again.

“Higher,” said Renfield.

“500,000,” Amadeus guessed.

“Higher,” Renfield encouraged him.

“1 million?” Amadeus asked.

“Higher,” Renfield began drumming his fingertips on the table.

“10 million?” Amadeus was getting exacerbated.

“Try again,” Renfield smiled.

“100 million,” Amadeus said.

“Nope,” Renfield shook his head.

“I give up,” Amadeus threw up his hands.

“There are 40 trillion mRNA spike protein particles per injection whch spread throughout the entire body,” Renfield read the figure aloud.

“40 trillion?” Amadeus was shocked, “That’s a Hell of a lot.”

“Indeed,” Renfield nodded, “With emphasis on the word Hell.”

. . .

For the third and final segment of his podcast, Renfield noted that New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was thinking of banning all unvaccinated people from all public places and events in New York state.

He then mentioned how New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor and stalwart Apostle of The Antichrist Bill de Blasio had announced a proof of vaccine mandate for all indoor public places and activities beginning next month in the Big Apple New York City.

A drawing of a worm inside an apple was then shown on the screen behind Renfield.

The worm in the apple in the drawing had Bill de Blasio’s face on it.

An image of a leatherbound volume of Edgar Allan Poe’s poem The Conqueror Worm is then shown on the screen behind Renfield.

Then a video is shown of New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist asshole Mayor and stalwart Apostle of The Antichrist Bill de Blasio, “We are offering you the key to NYC and all its wonders. The key is to be vaccinated. If you are unvaccinated, you will not get the key to NYC and its wonders.”

Then a scene is shown from the 1942 Jacques Tourneur film The Cat People starring Simone Simon.

The scene shows actor Tom Conway’s character of psychiatrist Dr. Louis Judd pointing his walking stick at the key to the panther cage inside the zoo and saying, “The key.”

Judd repeats the line again, “The key.”

As animated cartoon black panthers stalk behind him.

Simone Simon’s character of Irena Dubrovna then turns into a panther, attacks Dr. Judd and kills him.

A video is then shown of Dr. Anthony Fauci being interviewed by Global News Canada’s Communist asshole U.S. correspondent Jackson Proskow.

In answer to a nauseating and sycophantic ass kissing question posed by Jackson Proskow, Dr. Fauci said, “We are going to have to start mandating that people be vaccinated. And we’ll start down at the municipal local level.”

Renfield then announced, “And so now, 40 years later, ladies and gentlemen, we now know what the New Age Movement slogan of the 1980s THINK GLOBALLY, ACT LOCALLY means. The Mark of the Beast system prophesied in the Apocalypse of Saint John Book of Revelation Chapter 13 “By which no one might buy or sell save he that had the mark” would begin at the local level and then spread globally.”

Renfield finished his podcast by publicly calling for the assassinations of Andrew Cuomo, Bill de Blasio and Dr. Anthony Fauci.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 3rd
2021.

Simone Simon in the 1942 Jacques Tourneur film The Cat People

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Pan Goatee Beheads Erroneous Notion of White Supremacy While Exorcist Recalls Demonically Possessed Nun

July 26, 2021 at 10:08 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was once again in the neighbourhood dollar store.

And there in the line-up was another repulsively ugly looking white woman.

There seemed to be a surplus of repulsively ugly looking white women wandering around the dollar store this past week.

What was up with that?

The Calgary Stampede was over.

Ugly looking white women should be back in the corral or the closet where they belong.

It was probably the influence of all these annoying pansies and fruits who go around celebrating Pride Week then Pride Month then Pride Year and now Pride Century, Pan Goatee reasoned.

Soon it will be Pride Millenium.

Instead of a 1000 Year Reich, it will be a 1000 Year Rainbow.

One guarded by Ernst Rohm and not Heimdall.

This ugly looking white woman had blue hair.

Pan Goatee blamed the preponderance of ugly white women in the city, in Alberta and in Canada as a whole on the influence of that odious western world political disease known as Critical Gender Theory radical Marxist feminism.

The abhorrent ideology turned any female who heavily imbibed its contents into a creature so repulsively ugly it caused even the Devil himself to vomit all over the place.

“My God but you’re ugly,” Pan Goatee quoted the John Cleese character of Basil Fawlty as he beheaded the ugly looking white women with blue hair, “You and others like you certainly rip a big hole into that erroneous theory of white supremacy. Any race that produces the likes of you certainly has nothing whatsoever to feel superior about. Hitler must have been insane.”

Goatee went on about Hitler’s insanity as he sliced the ugly white woman with blue hair into 999 trillion pieces, “Some individuals seem to be prone to all sorts of neuroses and psychoses. And I guess Hitler was obviously one of them.”

. . .

As most of the priests in Pope Francis’ Vatican were currently engaged in the Monday night gay sex orgy, the daughter of a Rome boarding house owner was wandering the halls and walls of the Vatican trying to find a priest who would come and administer the Last Rites to one of her mother’s lodgers an elderly priest and long retired exorcist.

The girl happened to run into one of the few heterosexual Vatican curia officials Samhain Cardinal Salaman a former professional stage magician turned Cardinal.

Cardinal Salaman accompanied the girl to her mother’s boarding house and administered the Last Rites to the dying exorcist.

When he had finished administering the Last Rites, the old exorcist spoke.

“There was one exorcism I recall more vividly than all the rest,” said the exorcist, “it was a nun who was demonically possessed.”

“Go on,” the Cardinal nodded, “A nun who was demonically possessed…”

“She was demonically possessed by an entity that identified itself as the Spirit of Pachamama,” the exorcist continued.

“The Spirit of Pachamama?” Cardinal Salaman was astounded.

“Yes,” the exorcist answered, “The nun had become possessed while giving birth to a child. The child’s father, the nun had told her fellow nuns in the convent, was a bishop.”

“How long ago was this, Father?” The cardinal asked the exorcist.

“Many many years ago, Father,” the old exorcist replied.

“Did the child live?” Cardinal Salaman wanted to know.

“Yes, the child lived,” the exorcist nodded.

“How old would the child be now?” Salaman inquired.

The exorcist did not answer.

For he had gone to his reward.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 26th
2021.

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