Toddy Sween The Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue

August 18, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Aesthetics, Horror, Mystery/horror, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking towards his neighbourhood shopping centre.

As he was crossing the street a fat ugly blimp approached.

“What is it with you blimps?” Pan removed his astral laser machete, “The local news channels, when they aren’t busy scaremongering and bullshitting and changing statistics with regard to the Delta variant, have pointed out that ugly women have been beheaded here the past few weeks and yet you repulsive uglos keep coming back here ruining my day when my eyes are visually assaulted by your fugly appearance. Do you morons enjoy being beheaded or something? Or have you watched so much Ophrah in your couch surfing and refrigerator raiding existence that you have a false sense of self-esteem (which invariably happens to people who have watched too much Oprah) and actually suffer from the delusion that you’re not ugly? Rest assured you are ugly. And quite repulsively ugly at that.”

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

An operative for evil globalists George Soros and Bill Gates stood across the street taking notes in his notebook and pencil sketching and painting a watercolour in his sketchpad of the scene to report back to Soros and Gates about Pan Goatee.

. . .

Toddy Sween the Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue in New York was being visited by Mephistopheles the fallen Archangel.

Sween had sold his soul to Mephistopheles during the pandemic last year after his barber shop like other small businesses (which didn’t have the influence of Wal-Mart or Home Depot) were closed by orders of New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor Bill de Blasio and the Moloch worshipping New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo.

In exchange, Sween slit the throat of every 7th customer of his and dropped him down the hole underneath his barber chair.

The vampiress great great great grandmother of American country singer Lyle Lovett (Lyle didn’t know she was still alive) who owned a meat pie shop next door would use the bodies as ingredients for her meat pies.

Mephistopheles also said he would call upon Toddy Sween to do favours for him whenever he asked.

Sween on this day was given a list by Mephistopheles of people whose throats should be slit.

“These people live all over the world,” Sween noted, “How much time do I have to slit their throats?”.

“24 hours,” Mephistopheles replied.

“24 hours?” Toddy was incredulous, “How am I supposed to get around the world in 24 hours?”.

“The ancient Assyrian/Mesopotamian/Babylonian demon Pazuzu is going to carry you on his back,” Mephistopheles replied.

Mephistopheles whistled.

And the demon Pazuzu appeared.

The demon Pazuzu.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 18th
2021.

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Michelangelo Sees A Coven of Satanists Sacrificing One of Their Own

August 8, 2021 at 10:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“And the light of a candle shall shine no more at all in thee (Mystery Babylon); and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee (Mystery Babylon); for thy (Mystery Babylon’s) merchants were the great men of the earth; for by thy sorceries were all nations deceived.”
-Book of Revelation 18:23, King James Version

“… for your merchants were the great men of the earth; for by your pharmaceuticals were all nations deceived.”
-Book of Revelation 18:23, Contemporary English Translation

After Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. Of E. Parish Church in West London had read the two different translations of Revelation 18:23, he began his sermon,

“Now the Greek word translated sorcery in the King James Version is pharmakeia from which we get our modern English words “pharmacy” and “pharmaceuticals”. Pharmakeia in the Greek can mean “medicine” or “medication” or “magic” (as in witchcraft or sorcery not a stage show). Now as for “the great men of the earth”, great here means “powerful” not necessarily good…”

Renfield whispered to his friend Amadeus, “I wonder if “the great men of the earth” that Saint John foresaw were named George Soros, Bill Gates, Dr. Anthony Fraudci… I mean Fauci…”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises laboratories.

He had just turned off his waterproof reading lamp and fallen asleep.

He then had a dream (or was it a vision?) of a coven of dark robed and red hooded satanists who were performing a satanic ritual ceremony.

The leader of the group was holding a staff bearing the twisting snake symbol of Asclepius the Greco-Roman god of medicine (who was the son of the Olympian god Apollo and the mortal princess Coronis).

The leader’s robe was lifted behind him and another darked robed and red hooded figure was kneeling behind him and kissing his bare buttocks.

At the left hand of the leader was a dark robed and red hooded figure holding an upside down Crucifix.

Actor Tom Cruise who had inadvertently stumbled into Michelangelo’s dream quickly left the dream with eyes wide shut as the ghost of director Stanley Kubrick stood there utterly transfixed and borrowed a line from Marlon Brando, “The horror… the horror…”

The leader spoke, “Tonight is the night one of our own must be sacrificed.”

A large group of dark robed and red hooded figures came up and drew lots from a naked and beautiful priestess of Aphrodite.

As they drew their respective lots, the Michael Jackson song Thriller was played on a record player.

Soon the shortest lot fell on to one.

That figure tripped and fell.

His hood came down revealing New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo.

The leader of the coven dropped his hood revealing one George Soros.

The hooded figure who had been kissing Soros’ backside dropped his hood revealing one Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis).

The figure on Soros’ left who had been holding the upside down Crucifix dropped his hood revealing one Bill Gates.

Others started dropping their hoods and started pointing their fingers at Cuomo.

“You must be sacrificed,” Nancy Pelosi, Dr. Anthony Fauci, New York Sen. Chuck Schumer, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, California Gov. Gavin Newsom, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer and Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam all pointed in unison at Cuomo.

As did numerous others.

One lone figure dropped his hood about 20 seconds after the others, started pointing and spoke (after finally getting the instructions on his ear piece), “You must be sacrificed.”

The figure was one Joe Biden who still had his dead German shepherd dog Champ clinging to his leg.

Biden sneezed.

He then stopped pointing and stopped saying “You must be sacrificed” in order to pick up all his boogies off the floor and eat them.

“You must be sacrificed,” the rest continued pointing at Cuomo and speaking in unison.

“Throw him under the bus,” Soros commanded.

The black robed figures picked up Cuomo and threw him under an approaching bus driven by a ferocious looking demon and who had 665 other ferocious looking demons as bus passengers.

And that was the end of New York State’s baby killing and elderly person killing and sexually assaulting governor.

Michelangelo woke up and reached for a peanut butter cookie.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 8th
2021.

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New York’s Andrew Cuomo and Bill de Blasio Are Apostles of The Antichrist

August 3, 2021 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Tuesday night podcast.

Like most of Renfield’s podcasts (which upset woke zombie airheads who can’t stand the music scene in Kelowna, British Columbia and can’t stand visiting the Jack The Ripper Museum in London), he was once again exposing the evils of Covid Neo-Communism.

Said Renfield,

“Let me talk about a British writer most of you have probably never heard of named Stanley Johnson. In 1982, Mr. Johnson had a book published called The Marburg Virus. The book was republished in 2015 under the name The Virus. The plot of the book is about a virus that’s released on the world from a lab. The really interesting bit is that a vaccine (developed by Big Pharma in cahoots with a population control freak billionaire) is then given to the world’s population and ends up killing more people than the original virus itself.
Now you might be inclined to think that the writer of this piece of fiction (?) Mr. Stanley Johnson probably thinks that bumping off most of the world’s population is wrong.
However you’d be wrong.
For this writer Stanley Johnson had a non-fiction book published back in 1973 called The Population Problem in which he said that probably the biggest problem the world will face in the 21st Century is the population problem. He said that unless steps are taken “now” (meaning 1973) to reduce the world’s population, more radical steps might have to be taken in the “third decade of the 21st Century” to reduce the world’s population (by the way, the third decade of the 21st Century began in 2020).
What might those more radical steps be?
Possibly reducing the world’s population by vaccine in response to a virus released from a lab as happens in Stanley Johnson’s book The Virus?
And out of respect for the noted Edmonton, Alberta, Canada sports broadcaster Bryan Hall, I’m not going to talk about the fact that this writer Stanley Johnson is the father of Boris Johnson the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. No, I’m not going to mention that.”

Renfield then moves on to his next subject.

“For this segment,” Renfield explained, “I’m going to ask my friend Amadeus Emanon a question which, unlike Hillary Clinton during the 2016 U.S. Presidential debates, he doesn’t know the answer to ahead of time.”

Amadeus appears on the right hand side of the screen next to Renfield.

Renfield asks Amadeus, “Now Amadeus, it is spiked proteins in the mRNA “vaccine” that is supposed to help you ward off the spiked proteins from the Corona virus. How many spike protein particles would you say is in a single dose injection of mRNA vaccine?”.

“I have no idea,” Amadeus replied.

“Take a guess,” said Renfield.

“Um…. 10,000?” Amadeus replied.

“Higher,” Renfield hinted, “much higher.”

“100,000?” Amadeus guessed again.

“Higher,” said Renfield.

“500,000,” Amadeus guessed.

“Higher,” Renfield encouraged him.

“1 million?” Amadeus asked.

“Higher,” Renfield began drumming his fingertips on the table.

“10 million?” Amadeus was getting exacerbated.

“Try again,” Renfield smiled.

“100 million,” Amadeus said.

“Nope,” Renfield shook his head.

“I give up,” Amadeus threw up his hands.

“There are 40 trillion mRNA spike protein particles per injection whch spread throughout the entire body,” Renfield read the figure aloud.

“40 trillion?” Amadeus was shocked, “That’s a Hell of a lot.”

“Indeed,” Renfield nodded, “With emphasis on the word Hell.”

. . .

For the third and final segment of his podcast, Renfield noted that New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was thinking of banning all unvaccinated people from all public places and events in New York state.

He then mentioned how New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor and stalwart Apostle of The Antichrist Bill de Blasio had announced a proof of vaccine mandate for all indoor public places and activities beginning next month in the Big Apple New York City.

A drawing of a worm inside an apple was then shown on the screen behind Renfield.

The worm in the apple in the drawing had Bill de Blasio’s face on it.

An image of a leatherbound volume of Edgar Allan Poe’s poem The Conqueror Worm is then shown on the screen behind Renfield.

Then a video is shown of New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist asshole Mayor and stalwart Apostle of The Antichrist Bill de Blasio, “We are offering you the key to NYC and all its wonders. The key is to be vaccinated. If you are unvaccinated, you will not get the key to NYC and its wonders.”

Then a scene is shown from the 1942 Jacques Tourneur film The Cat People starring Simone Simon.

The scene shows actor Tom Conway’s character of psychiatrist Dr. Louis Judd pointing his walking stick at the key to the panther cage inside the zoo and saying, “The key.”

Judd repeats the line again, “The key.”

As animated cartoon black panthers stalk behind him.

Simone Simon’s character of Irena Dubrovna then turns into a panther, attacks Dr. Judd and kills him.

A video is then shown of Dr. Anthony Fauci being interviewed by Global News Canada’s Communist asshole U.S. correspondent Jackson Proskow.

In answer to a nauseating and sycophantic ass kissing question posed by Jackson Proskow, Dr. Fauci said, “We are going to have to start mandating that people be vaccinated. And we’ll start down at the municipal local level.”

Renfield then announced, “And so now, 40 years later, ladies and gentlemen, we now know what the New Age Movement slogan of the 1980s THINK GLOBALLY, ACT LOCALLY means. The Mark of the Beast system prophesied in the Apocalypse of Saint John Book of Revelation Chapter 13 “By which no one might buy or sell save he that had the mark” would begin at the local level and then spread globally.”

Renfield finished his podcast by publicly calling for the assassinations of Andrew Cuomo, Bill de Blasio and Dr. Anthony Fauci.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 3rd
2021.

Simone Simon in the 1942 Jacques Tourneur film The Cat People

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Pan Goatee Beheads Erroneous Notion of White Supremacy While Exorcist Recalls Demonically Possessed Nun

July 26, 2021 at 10:08 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was once again in the neighbourhood dollar store.

And there in the line-up was another repulsively ugly looking white woman.

There seemed to be a surplus of repulsively ugly looking white women wandering around the dollar store this past week.

What was up with that?

The Calgary Stampede was over.

Ugly looking white women should be back in the corral or the closet where they belong.

It was probably the influence of all these annoying pansies and fruits who go around celebrating Pride Week then Pride Month then Pride Year and now Pride Century, Pan Goatee reasoned.

Soon it will be Pride Millenium.

Instead of a 1000 Year Reich, it will be a 1000 Year Rainbow.

One guarded by Ernst Rohm and not Heimdall.

This ugly looking white woman had blue hair.

Pan Goatee blamed the preponderance of ugly white women in the city, in Alberta and in Canada as a whole on the influence of that odious western world political disease known as Critical Gender Theory radical Marxist feminism.

The abhorrent ideology turned any female who heavily imbibed its contents into a creature so repulsively ugly it caused even the Devil himself to vomit all over the place.

“My God but you’re ugly,” Pan Goatee quoted the John Cleese character of Basil Fawlty as he beheaded the ugly looking white women with blue hair, “You and others like you certainly rip a big hole into that erroneous theory of white supremacy. Any race that produces the likes of you certainly has nothing whatsoever to feel superior about. Hitler must have been insane.”

Goatee went on about Hitler’s insanity as he sliced the ugly white woman with blue hair into 999 trillion pieces, “Some individuals seem to be prone to all sorts of neuroses and psychoses. And I guess Hitler was obviously one of them.”

. . .

As most of the priests in Pope Francis’ Vatican were currently engaged in the Monday night gay sex orgy, the daughter of a Rome boarding house owner was wandering the halls and walls of the Vatican trying to find a priest who would come and administer the Last Rites to one of her mother’s lodgers an elderly priest and long retired exorcist.

The girl happened to run into one of the few heterosexual Vatican curia officials Samhain Cardinal Salaman a former professional stage magician turned Cardinal.

Cardinal Salaman accompanied the girl to her mother’s boarding house and administered the Last Rites to the dying exorcist.

When he had finished administering the Last Rites, the old exorcist spoke.

“There was one exorcism I recall more vividly than all the rest,” said the exorcist, “it was a nun who was demonically possessed.”

“Go on,” the Cardinal nodded, “A nun who was demonically possessed…”

“She was demonically possessed by an entity that identified itself as the Spirit of Pachamama,” the exorcist continued.

“The Spirit of Pachamama?” Cardinal Salaman was astounded.

“Yes,” the exorcist answered, “The nun had become possessed while giving birth to a child. The child’s father, the nun had told her fellow nuns in the convent, was a bishop.”

“How long ago was this, Father?” The cardinal asked the exorcist.

“Many many years ago, Father,” the old exorcist replied.

“Did the child live?” Cardinal Salaman wanted to know.

“Yes, the child lived,” the exorcist nodded.

“How old would the child be now?” Salaman inquired.

The exorcist did not answer.

For he had gone to his reward.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 26th
2021.

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100 More Days Till Halloween…

July 23, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“This is Jack Anderson at Terror 97 FM in London- the radio station that keeps you in stitches – a la style of Dr. Victor Frankenstein’s creation. This just in from Canada… Earlier today genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee slew two more ugly women in a Dollarama store in Calgary. And now here’s Air Supply singing their coming Halloween hit Two Less Ugly People In The World…”

. . .

There was a state of excitement prevailing in the Vatican among the city state’s wide assortment of Jesuit priests for word had come to pass that the demon Baphomet was going to address them at A Come As You Are convention in the Vatican Sauna Steam Bath House named Hyacinth Sizzles Apollo’s Swizzle Stick.

Meanwhile in the Papal Apartments, Pope Francis was consulting with one of his leading theological advisors Walter Cardinal Kasper.

“Your Unholiness,” Kasper addressed Bergoglio by his most appropriate title, “a group of flying saucer UFOs containing 6.66 feet tall T-Rex ET reptilians have landed within the walls of the Vatican.”

“What for?” Francis asked as he licked a Spartan Greek popsicle.

“We’re not sure,” Kasper answered.

. . .

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had been hiding inside a tomb in London’s Highgate Cemetery ever since British MP Renfield R. Renfield publicly called for the 10 Downing Street occupant’s assassination this past Wednesday.

The colourful and controversial MP had issued the assassination call after the Zombie Nosferatu Tory Prime Minister (whose forehead had been etched with the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST in red felt ink) announced this past Wednesdy that he intended to introduce a vaccine passport in Britain next month.

Bishop Sean Manchester the traditionalist Old Catholic Church Bishop of Glastonbury and a leading exorcist was walking around the cemetery amidst reports that a vampire was once again haunting the cemetery for the first time in 51 years.

As Johnson sat inside the tomb with sweat on his forehead, the ghost of Karl Marx (looking well roasted) appeared alongside him and asked him, “How’s it going?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish Leprechaun was in Highgate Cemetery eating cold mutton sandwiches and drinking Guinness beer.

He was listening to Terror 97 FM London on his old 1970s style transistor radio.

The radio was playing a commercial and a Halloween holiday jingle, “100 more days till Halloween… Silver Shamrock.”

A hand holding a silver shamrock suddenly appeared out of the ground near the old gravestone where Yaldabaoth was having his evening picnic totally freaking the wee leprechaun out.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 23rd
2021.

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Hitler’s Nazi Gestapo Are Alive and Well and Living In Police In The Canadian Province of Alberta

April 7, 2021 at 10:07 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Health, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God.”
-The Fathers of the American Revolution.

“It is morally imperative upon people across the globe today to remember the words of the Fathers of the American Revolution.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a rare Wednesday evening podcast.

And that was because of the developing political situation on the ground in the Canadian province of Alberta.

Sipping from a bottle of Alberta Crystal Clear Pure Vodka, Renfield said,

“The Antichrist RCMP in the Canadian province of Alberta have shown themselves to be the wholehearted ardent disciples of the emerging Antichrist New World Order by raiding Grace Life Church an Evangelical Protestant Church east of Edmonton the provincial capital and erecting steel barriers around it to prevent the people and pastors from entering.
As a Calgary Polish Church pastor well said of Calgary Police who were trying to close his Church this past Easter weekend, “Gestapo! Nazis! Get out!”.
For police in today’s Canadian province of Alberta are little better than the Nazi Gestapo of Hitler’s Third Reich.”

RCMP at the RCMP police station in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada were given a standing ovation by the demons Baal and Mephistopheles as they returned to the station after setting up steel barriers around Grace Life Church on the orders of AHS (Alberta Health Services which was today little more than a provincial branch of the Nazi Fascist Neo-Bolshevik Communist Hybrid New World Order known as the Great Reset and praised by the likes of Pope Francis, Justin Trudeau and Joe Biden).
Hordes of infernal demons sang of the heroic Gestapo like RCMP who returned like the conquering heroes of Norse battlefields to the halls of Valhalla, “For they’re the jolly good fellows, for they’re the jolly good fellows which nobody can deny, which nobody can deny…”

“I deny it,” said Renfield continuing his broadcast, “and backing up the Nazi Gestapo like raid on Grace Life Church by the RCMP was Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro. Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro is a Nazi Fascist pig who should be eliminated from the face of the earth. And I say that with all due respect.”

Tyler Shandro had returned home after a hard day of trying to build the global Fourth Reich down at the office.

He was surprised to see the ghost of Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels sitting in an arm chair in his living room offering him a warm cup of Meteorite Alien Insect Pods Greyish Green Tea.

Goebbels’ ghost had been recently released from the Underworld by Hades (Greek god of the Underworld) at the request of the Great Reset globalist oligarchical backers- men like George Soros and Bill Gates and Xi Jinping’s Supernatural entity advisor the Black Dragon.

“I’ve never heard of this brand of tea before,” Shandro looked at the label on the teapot, “Meteorite Alien Insect Pods Greyish Green Tea.”

“It was prophetically foreseen on a Halloween Night episode of the CBC program Murdoch Mysteries a few years back,” Goebbels’ ghost commented as he sipped on a spectral ghostly variant of the tea (which went into the making of the various new variants of Covid-19 made in various labs and released in various places across the planet the past few months), “it turned people who drank it into aliens. On that episode of Murdoch Mysteries, people down at Police Station House No. 4 drank it and became aliens and it soon spread across the entire city of Toronto. People became aliens and ceased being human. Constable George Crabtree was the last resister at Police Station House No. 4 and even he succumbed. And soon all were aliens.”

“So Torontonians became non-human aliens and now you want Albertans to become the same starting with me?” Tyler Shandro inquired.

“Exactly,” Goebbels’ ghost grinned, “You already were one of the biggest twits in Fascist fat slob Premier Jason Kenney’s cabinet (which is saying a lot) and so you were pretty well on your way there to becoming a non-human alien anyways. This will just finally tip you over the edge.”

“Okay,” Shandro drank the tea and a female zombie nosferatu entered the room and bit him on the lips and sucked the life out of him filling his body with unhatched alien insect pods from meteorites.

Norse goddess Freya appearing as a guest on Renfield R. Renfield’s podcast: Advises people to beware of zombie nosferatu and of drinking Meteorite Alien Insect Pods Greyish Green Tea

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 7th
2021.

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Jack The Ripper Nosferatu

March 31, 2021 at 10:22 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield received an email from Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

Whitstable was doing research into Count Orlok Nosferatu the bald-headed vampire who was the subject of F.W. Murnau’s 1922 German Expressionist silent film Nosferatu.

Whitstable had come across a diary from 1888 in which Count Orlok Nosferatu claimed that he had turned the man Scotland Yard called Jack the Ripper into a nosferatu back in the spring of 1888.

And that the murders of the Ripper’s Autumn of Terror in London in the late summer and early autumn of 1888 was Jack the Ripper going through an intense blood lust common to beginning nosferatu.

As he matured in his nosferatuhood, Jack settled down and just bit women on the neck to remove their blood instead of cutting their throats and removing their internal organs like he did when he was the Leather Apron Whitechapel Murderer of the Autumn of 1888.

After reading the email, Renfield recalled an antique journal that London art gallery curator Dashwood Forrest had come across written by a woman named Colleen Darcy O’ Derby who had apparently worked in a brothel in the seaside town resort of Brighton.

The experience that happened to Miss O’ Derby one spring night in 1889 struck Renfield as being an encounter with a nosferatu.

Renfield rang Forrest up and asked if he could take a look at the journal.

Forrest agreed and Renfield drove over in his 1937 Peugeot 402 Darl’mat to the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery.

Taking a look at the March 31st 1889 Journal entry, Renfield read in Miss Colleen Darcy O’Derby’s own words,

“This Jack as he called himself was a peculiar client.
Peculiar and repugnant.
He had a bald head, an elongated face, a flat nose, sinister lips, a mountainous chin and deadset eyes.
Like a human skull that still had a thin layer of flesh attached to it.
I could not sleep with the man no matter how much he paid me.
I ran from the room.
Along a boardwalked path that still had a chill in the air.
It felt more like winter than spring.
The few trees and few bushes along the path had the look of dead late autumn to them.
I felt like something was behind me.
A giant head without a body.

I turned and that’s exactly what it was.
A giant head without a body.
I screamed.
He gave a leering smile and a body of a caped figure carrying a walking stick suddenly appeared below the giant head as it shrank in size and attached itself to the body of the caped figure carrying the walking stick.
He spoke, in a hiss, like a snake, “I should do to you what I did to those women in Whitechapel last fall.”
I froze.
Was he the Whitechapel Murderer?
Leather Apron?
Jack the Ripper?
“But you’re too beautiful for that,” he grinned like the face of sinister Death as depicted in Churches built during the era of the Black Death.
Fangs protruded from his sinister lips and he bit me on the neck.
I could feel the blood and the life force drifting out of me.
He stopped.
He spoke, “You have only one ounce of blood left my dear. Should I drain it and turn you into a nosferatu? No. No, my dear. Your hair is far too beautiful for that. Baldness does not become you. A mere vampiress you shall be. Not nosferatu.”
And with that, he departed into the dark stormy sky from whence he came.
And I became a vampiress.”

“Very interesting,” Renfield made notes.

He then closed the journal, thanked Dashwood Forrest and returned to his car.

A beautiful woman with beautiful beautiful long long dark hair stood watching him as he got into his 1937 Peugeot 402 Darl’mat Roadster.

She smiled.

Her fangs glistened in the dark.

She put her hands through her long dark luxurious hair and laughed.

She was definitely vampiress.

But not nosferatu.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 31st
2021.

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Pan Goatee Beheads Again and Mordred Returns

January 20, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee figured that with Joe Biden’s Inauguration today, there would be lots of satanic activity and examples of incredibly bad taste going on.

And not just among the airheaded American film and music industry celebrities gathered in Washington DC or in some online based virtual reality of Mephistophelian making.

But in his little corner of the world as well.

Sadly for Goatee, this proved to be true.

Following Biden’s appointment of the hideously repulsively ugly Rachel Levine as Assistant Secretary of Health (foreshadowing a disaster for the American health care system of Stephen King Cujoian proportions), Goatee figured that fat ugly blimps would be coming out of the closet en masse.

More so than usual that is.

As fat ugly blimps had been coming out of the closet en masse ever since the advent of feminism in the Western world 50 years ago.

And had been growing worse with each passing decade.

Now with the senile old fool Joe Biden as President, fat ugly blimps would be trying to fit into their size 1500 waist waste trousers (with exceedingly great difficulty) and exiting the closet (each closet being about the size of the San Diego Zoo).

When Goatee approached the neighbourhood liquor store, he was shocked to see a fat ugly blimp inside the liquor store.

After barfing all over the place causing a minature flood in the shopping centre parking lot as a result of seeing the fat ugly blimp, Goatee then removed his astral laser machete from his astral laser holster and beheaded the fat ugly blimp before cutting her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee wondered as he calmly wiped the blood off his machete if he had some sort of obsession with the number 999 trillion in the same way that the Serbian/American scientist/inventor Nikola Tesla had an obsession with the number 3.

Not feeling inclined to enter the liquor store after its environment had been aesthetically polluted by the presence of the fat ugly blimp, Goatee went into the grocery store where he was confronted by the sight of an even more hideously repulsive fat ugly blimp.

Goatee stuck his head out the door and barfed all over the parking lot again.

Adding flood upon flood.

So much so that a person living in a house across the street started building himself an ark.

Goatee then turned back and cut off the fat ugly blimp’s head remarking, “Why can’t you fat ugly blimps just email Joe Biden your resumes instead of handing out your mirror shattering resumes in public?”.

He then cut the fat ugly blimp up into 999 trillion pieces.

After wiping the blood off his laser astral machete for the 2nd time within a space of 5 minutes, Goatee thought maybe he really did have an obsession with the number 999 trillion.

He should ask his psychiatrist the next time he saw him.

. . .

Inside the Duke of Tintagel Pub in Cornwall England, a man recently raised from the dead stood at the bar waiting to place his drink order.

The man was Mordred son of Arthur and Arthur’s half-sister Morgause (although Arthur did not know that Morgause was his half-sister when he banged her).

Mordred was also the man who slew King Arthur at the Battle of Camlann.

Although Mordred also succumbed to his own wounds at the hand of Excalibur and kicked the bucket shortly thereafter.

“Damn inconsiderate of him,” one of the horses at the Battle of Camlann thought to himself after Mordred knocked over a bucket of water with his left foot while giving up the ghost.

Mordred had been buried in an unmarked grave not far from the battle while Arthur’s body was carried across in a barge filled with beautiful women over to the Isle of Avalon.

Mordred’s body, although buried in an unmarked grave, was discovered through remote viewing after yet another DARPA Staring At Goats session.

The Director of U.S. Homeland Security had ordered that Mordred be brought back from the dead as this would fit in with the purposes of the Neo-Bolshevik Deep State.

So South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo was brought in to raise Mordred the slayer of Arthur from the dead.

When Mordred was successfully brought back from the dead and sucessfully recomposed (after having been successfully decomposing for centuries), Dr. Sterling Makabo remarked to the Homeland Security agents and DARPA operatives present, “I’m a lot funnier than that pompous verbose windbag Trevor Noah. So why can’t I have my own late night comedy show?”.

He poured some hydrogen peroxide on his hands to get rid of the worms of death that had attached themselves to Mordred’s skeleton.

“Should Trevor Noah ever die of massive boredom after being forced to watch re-runs of his alleged comedy show, we’ll let the show’s producers know that you should be kept in mind,” the Homeland Security agent remarked as DARPA operative Jefferey the otter (who had been busy catching fish in the nearby mist-filled lake of Avalon) joined him.

Now Jefferey the otter was sitting on top of a table in the Duke of Tintagel Pub drinking barrels of Green Minnow Beer as he blissfully barked out the melody of Roll Out The Barrel.

The recently raised from the dead Mordred was having a little less luck getting a drink standing up at the bar.

“Please,” Mordred cried out as a falcon possessed by the spirit of the Egyptian god Horus perched atop his shoulder, “I need a drink. I haven’t had a drink in ages.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 20th
2021.

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Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI To Receive Forced Vaccination

January 12, 2021 at 10:35 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

“The best argument against taking the vaccine is the fact that the Communist “Pope” Francis says everyone should take it.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP

As another part of the ongoing tyranny descending upon the world in the form of a dark lifeless mist ever since the spiritual/political virus known as Covid Communism descended upon the world in the wake of Xi Jinping’s Chinese Communist Party releasing a bioengineered weapon from the Wuhan Institute of Virology (whether intentional or accidental), the tyranny now extended to Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI who did not wish to receive the vaccine but the Vatican decided he’d be given a mandatory vaccine against his will.

The news reached the attention of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

He discussed it with Athelstan the personal butler and valet to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

“I’m now formulating a plan with my field operatives in my personal British Army brigade of gurkhas to break into the Vatican and rescue Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI before he’s given the DeathVaxx as Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher calls it,” Renfield explained.

“Break into the Vatican?” Athelstan raised an eyebrow, “But isn’t that place well guarded?”.

“It is,” Renfield nodded, “But you must remember that this will be a whole brigade of gurkhas attacking them. There aren’t too many guards on Earth who can hold out against an entire brigade of gurkhas. The only thing is that there may be demons guarding the Vatican according to the latest Set Enterprises Intelligence report. Still if there is any mortal warrior on Earth capable of kicking a demon’s ass, it would be a gurkha.”

“Good luck with that, sir,” Athelstan remarked as he went off to prepare a tray of tea and crumpets for Set.

Meanwhile in the woods outside the vampiress Lilith’s palatial estate near Astana, Kazakhstan:

Golgotha daughter of the vampiress Lilith with her pet raven Ancient Mariner’s Albatross on her shoulder

“Listen, Alby,” she called him by her pet name for him, “Listen to the silence but soon the world will be crawling with zombie nosferatu.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 12th
2020.

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Lilith In The Graveyard Garden of Good and Evil

January 3, 2021 at 11:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in the graveyard garden of good and evil

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing another one of his Sunday night podcasts:

“Just an important historical note of interest, which if shown to be correct, will be noted by future historians.
Here’s the gist:
A final political showdown is coming January 6th as the U.S. Congress meets to elect CCP stooge Joe Biden as President.
The 1st American Civil War began on April 12th 1861 just 13 days after the previous Easter Sunday (March 31st 1861).
Will the 2nd American Civil War begin on January 7th 2021 just 13 days after the previous Christmas Day?
History has a strange way of balancing itself out in such occurrences.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP

. . .

The body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was rushed from Dublin Ireland to London England by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airship the High Calypso.

It was assumed that the cause of Yaldabaoth’s death was the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka wearing a killer outfit.

However after an operation carried out by a surgical suit wearing Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster wearing a surgical mask and using his surgical gloved lobster claws to perform an incision, it was determined that the cause of death was Yaldabaoth’s eating poisoned lutefisk.

After a quick check of the Irish High King Brian Boru’s Medieval Treatise On Leprechaun Ailments (a copy of which was found in the billionaire vampire Set’s library and rare book collection), apparently eating poisoned lutefisk was one of the few things that could kill a usually immortal leprechaun.

After visualizing London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes wearing a killer outfit (which caused his lobster tank to explode), Michelangelo went into a trance and saw the circumstances which led to Yaldabaoth’s death.

Apparently after visiting the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland, Yaldabaoth had gone to Rome to see the Vatican’s ugly looking Nativity display (which was put up to welcome the arrival of an alien ET saviour who graduated with a degree in New York School of Art Abstract Surrealist and Neo-Modernist Studies).

After barfing all over the Vatican Nativity display, Yaldabaoth then wandered the halls of the Vatican.

At first he thought he had entered a gay bath house but after viewing classical and Renaissance works of art in the halls and on the walls, the wee leprechaun deduced that he was indeed inside the Vatican.

Yaldabaoth went into a room where some Vatican Cardinals had prepared a New Year’s Day feast for their fellow cardinal Robert Cardinal Sarah of Guinea the prefect of the Vatican Congregation For Divine Worship and The Discipline of the Sacraments.

The feast, which consisted of large portions of poisoned Norwegian lutefisk, had been made by a group of atheistic Marxist Cardinals hoping to bump off Cardinal Robert Sarah who was a devout Catholic Christian.

Yaldabaoth, who was starting to feel hungry after having previously barfed all over the Vatican’s Nativity display, then proceeded to eat up all the poisoned lutefisk.

And in so doing saved Robert Cardinal Sarah’s life.

. . .


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith next to Edgar Allan Poe’s grave in the cemetery of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Baltimore Maryland

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was kneeling in the cemetery of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Baltimore, Maryland.

She was kneeling in front of Edgar Allan Poe’s grave.

A group of mischievous Irish leprecauns living in Baltimore had put up Irish Celtic crosses atop Poe’s grave and graves next to it that would have caused the Ulster Irish Presbyterian pastor Rev. Ian Paisley of Belfast Northern Ireland to pull his hair out if he had still been alive and seen it.

It was a moonlit night in Baltimore, as billionaire Elon Musk who had just built himself an artificial moon and was giving a full moon trial test run over Baltimore on this lovely windswept evening, and so the moonlight shone down on top of Lilith in front of Poe’s burial place.

The artificial full moonlight of Elon Musk’s artificial moon was causing mysterious looking red roses to grow all over the cemetery.

A raven flew down atop Poe’s gravemarker and croaked “Nevermore”.

Indeed it would be the last time the Raven would croak Nevermore for he croaked shortly thereafter.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 3rd
2021.

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