The Bride of Baphomet: A Horror Poem

July 18, 2018 at 10:14 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Bride of Baphomet: A Horror Poem

Atargatis’ mermaid invasion of the Israeli state was called off
on the day marking death of last Czar Romanov
so this wedding could take place
for the Baphomet would not lose face
He was in Jerusalem for his wedding
while devil worshipers checked his hotel bedding
It was the day after the anniversary of Bolshevik royal slaughter
that the Baphomet would take his trip to the altar

Who was his Bride?
DARPA’s latest pride
Panty Goatee
with a cheese soufflé
her pussy could take a lot of heat
for someone minus goats’ legs and feet

And the Baphomet could lick on and on to his heart’s content
like a porno film with a Hellish bent
Pussy filled with cheese soufflé
For gourmet Eros was the order of the day

Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA had given the order
while volcanoes erupted in the land of Mordor

Panty’s twin brother Pan from whom she had been genetically cloned
wouldn’t be at wedding for he hadn’t been phoned.

So he had spent the day killing ugly females
with laser machete and his razor sharp nails
For he never got a manicure
but instead lopped off heads like combine in manure
Caligula Farms
definitely had its charms
for those who let their fat cows out of the barns

Diablotron the AI god
for whom Elon Musk was a silly sod
had instructed Faustus Imhotep on the wedding
right down to the size of nanite infested bedding
It would all come together like a Lovecraft tome
this wedding of Baphomet and Panty Goatee

The union of old gods with the new
So Armageddon can come true
Saint John might Divine
with all that’s fine
but the Apocalypse
Would follow Baphomet lips
Cheese soufflé is better with a mushroom
of an atomic variety for Bride and groom

The wedding would take place on the Temple Mount
recently vacated by Dracula the Count
The old Transylvanian/Wallachian
accompanied by a single Dalmatian
had taken a recent tour of the Holy City
And said aloud, it’s all very pretty

But it was called the City of Peace for nought
for it was a place for which many had fought
It was a scene of much blood and gore
awaiting a visit by Donald the bore
But until that time
when idiocy turns sublime
This royal wedding must take place
to let blood flow in this Holy place
Sacred to religions three
like Lakota warrior’s heart at Wounded Knee
It must all end in grief and strife
amidst much taking of human life

The Bride of Baphomet awaits
the cry of Banshees and Grecian Fates
Many threads of life will be cut
while she drinks blood from a golden cup

-A horror poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 18th
2018.

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Peter Whitstable: On The Trail of Demon Possessed Dogs In The English Countryside

July 15, 2018 at 11:14 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Peter Whitstable: On The Trail of Demon Possessed Dogs In The English Countryside

British MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked after watching Infowars Conspiracy Theorist Alex Jones on YouTube on his laptop, “This Alex Jones is an idiot for calling New York’s 14th Congressional District Democratic Party nominee Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a Communist. The man doesn’t seem to know the difference between a Communist and a Eurosocialist.”

“And then of course,” Amadeus Emanon remarked in reply, “There’s British television interviewer Piers Morgan who’s an idiot for not knowing that journalist Ash Sarkar is a Communist when everyone else in Britain knows that Ash Sarkar is a self admitted Communist.”

“That was pretty funny,” Renfield smiled, “when pompous Piers said to her “You talk like a Communist” and Ash replied, “I am a Communist, you idiot.” “

. . .

Vladimir Putin lay down to rest.

Today he awarded the 2018 FIFA World Cup to France 🇫🇷.

Tomorrow he’d be meeting America’s Twitterer-In-Chief Donald Trump.

As Putin lay on his pillow, a raven flew in through the window and cried, “Beware the Lobsters of July!
Beware the Lobsters of July!”.

A bust of Pallas Athena fell off his bedroom writing table.

And a leather bound old volume copy of The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe fell off his book shelf.

The raven turned and flew out the window.

“What the Hell,” Putin wondered, “does that mean?”.

. . .

Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol was trekking through the English countryside.

A pair of demonically possessed dogs were running loose.

They had escaped after an exorcism attempt was performed on them by the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the vicar of Saint Swithin’s By The Floodwaters Parish Church.

They had then tried to attack U. S. President Donald Trump at a statue unveiling outside The Trump Arms Pub in London.

And now they were running lose in the English countryside creating chaos and havoc.

Eating sheep 🐑 and then regurgitating goats 🐐.

One of the demon possessed dogs used to be a Dachshund named Bashful.

He had now turned into a giant spectral wolfhound who was the Hound of The Baskervilles Reincarnated.

The other demon possessed dog was a Welsh corgi named Friendly.

He had since turned into a dog with the body of a Saint Bernard but he now had 3 heads- the head of a Rottweiler, the head of a Bassett hound and the head of a chihuahua.

Whitstable stumbled onto an English country pub.

He decided to go inside and ask them if they had seen the demon possessed dogs who were somewhat recognizable in appearance.

When he came through the door, he noticed to his surprise the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith sitting on a chair at the end of the bar.

“Good evening, Mr. Whitstable,” she smiled her sweet Vampiric incisors at him, “Can you tell me where your friend Dracul Van Helsing is?”.

“What do you want with Van Helsing?” Whitstable asked.

At that moment, a copy of the Kama Sutra fell off one of the pub book shelves.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 15th
2018.

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Dr. Faustus Imhotep Unveils Panty Goatee

July 9, 2018 at 11:48 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Politics, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Dr. Faustus Imhotep Unveils Panty Goatee

“Guess who may become Prime Minister of Britain 🇬🇧 in the next few weeks?” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked his good friend Amadeus Emanon.

“Who?” Amadeus Emanon inquired of Renfield as he was about to eat the first of half a dozen steak sandwiches he had ordered from Cato’s Catering.

“Me,” Renfield grinned.

For the second time in two weeks, Amadeus Emanon put his knife and fork 🍴 aside as he lost his appetite.

“How did this come about?” Amadeus stared blankly into space.

“Through the resignations of David Davis as Brexit Secretary and Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary,” Renfield explained, “There’s a terrible split in both the Conservative Cabinet and the Conservative Party over Prime Minister Theresa May’s Brexit deal with the European Union 🇪🇺. The government may collapse at any moment.”

“So how does that help you become Prime Minister?” Amadeus buried his head in his hands.

“Well,” Renfield grabbed the knife and fork and proceeded to start eating the first of his friend’s steak 🥩 sandwiches, “rather than call an election and face the possibility of another hung government (maybe quite literally hung), Her Most Gracious Majesty The Queen wants the Conservatives and Labour to join together in a coalition National Unity Government with me serving as Prime Minister and head of the coalition National Unity government since Her Majesty believes that I’m the current contemporary British MP who is most like the first Prime Minister of her long reign who was none other than Sir Winston Churchill.”

Amadeus stared solemnly as Renfield started eating the second of his steak 🥩 sandwiches after finishing the first.

“So since I’m about to become Prime Minister, I’m afraid I can’t fly to Helsinki next week carrying the genetically created Japanese Ninja lobster assassin Shinigami to bump off two individuals who are holding an important meeting there on July 16th. One individual has to be killed as vengeance for the Novichok caused death of British citizen Dawn Sturgess and the other individual has to be killed for insulting the Prime Minister of a British Commonwealth country. Therefore I’ve hired the famous London private eyes (and former MPs) Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie (and got them temporary licenses to kill from Her Majesty’s Government) to carry Shinigami into the country.
Dr. Cadbury Rocher finally perfected his latest genetic creation this past June 28th. Shinigami now has a deadly dose of the most fatal scorpion 🦂 poison within his lobster claws. And his handlers (i.e. Agathor and Magog) will be wearing special gloves 🧤 so they will not be subject to the poison. I’ve since bought stock in Russian and U.S. state funeral catering companies based on this insider information so I can make tons of money after these two individuals kick the bucket thanks to Shinigami’s poisoned dipped lobster claws.”

Amadeus looked on wistfully after Renfield had demolished the third of the half dozen steak 🥩 sandwiches.

Then an idea 💡 occurred to him.

“Do you remember a couple of weeks ago, you were trying to find the personal phone number of New York’s 14th Congressional District Democratic Party nominee Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez?” Amadeus smiled.

“Oh yes?” Renfield paused just before taking a bite of the 4th steak 🥩 sandwich.

“Well, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders’ Private Secretary phoned you (while you were out preaching the Good News of Transhumanism to female workers in London’s Red Light District) just before she leaves on a 4-week undisclosed personal vacation with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s number. A number I wrote down.”

“Great!” Renfield grinned like the Cheshire Cat about to devour the world’s largest tuna fish sandwich and laid aside both his fork and the plate of the uneaten 4th steak 🥩 sandwich, “What is it?”.

Amadeus continued smiling, “Well I wrote it down and also didn’t memorize it. I left it on the table by the front door and the new cleaning lady for the mansion ripped it up into hundreds of pieces and threw it in the garbage can outside. And as you know, garbage pickup is today.
So I’m afraid the number is lost to you for the next 4 weeks.”

As Renfield stared blankly into space for the next 5 minutes, Amadeus went to the kitchen drawer and got himself a clean knife and fork 🍴 and proceeded to eat the last 3 steak sandwiches.

. . .

Pope Francis was meeting with one of his newest appointed cardinals Samhain Cardinal Salaman (who prior to being elevated to the Vatican College of Cardinals worked as a stage magician by trade under the name Salaman the Magician).

Up until his appointment, Salaman wasn’t even Catholic (he had been an adherent of the Black Magic aspects of Jewish Kabbalistic mysticism).

But after Pope Francis had talked him into being a Cardinal, he was baptized a Catholic, confirmed a Catholic, ordained a deacon, ordained a priest, consecrated a bishop and then elevated to the Cardinalate all on the same day.

Salaman was also named the Archbishop of the newly created Welsh Diocese of Llanthony Abbey and the Black Mountains.

Francis was discussing with the new Cardinal Samhain Salaman his plans for a new ecumenical Mass that was being worked on by a committee of Roman Catholics, Lutherans and Anglicans.

Francis desired a new version of the Lord’s Prayer (Christ’s original wasn’t good enough for the 21st Century in his enlightened papal opinion) for the new Mass.

For that purpose, Francis had asked Hades the Greek god of the Underworld to release the spirit of the 1960s U.S. Episcopal bishop of California the Right Reverend James Albert Pike from the fires 🔥 of Tartarus to come up to Earth’s surface and write a new version of the Lord’s Prayer for the new Mass.

Francis and Cardinal Samhain Salaman were now reading the first draft of the late Bishop Pike’s literary masterpiece,

“Our transgendered parent who’s far out of this world,
Groovy is your name…”

. . .

Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA was about to unveil his latest genetic creation and agency assassin Panty Goatee to General Custer Eastmoreland the U.S. Army General responsible for overseeing DARPA.

Panty Goatee was the genetically cloned twin sister of DARPA contract assassin and satyr serial killer Pan Goatee.

Dr. Faustus Imhotep had given the U.S. Twitterer-In-Chief a sneak preview of Panty Goatee back on May 13th of this year but the Donald had thrown a major spaz attack and pulled out his toupee upon seeing her.

The reason?

The Donald did not like her furry style goat 🐐 legs.

He ordered Dr. Faustus Imhotep to have Panty lose the fur.

So after rechecking the DNA formula, he did some genetic tweaking and managed to eliminate the fur off her legs.

Now Dr. Faustus Imhotep was showing General Custer Eastmoreland the new and improved Panty Goatee.

After taking off the Harry Potter and Severus Snape emblazoned curtains, Dr. Faustus Imhotep unveiled Panty Goatee to the general:

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 9th 2018

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Reblog- Aztec Vampiress Qonzilqointec and The Roswell UFO Crash

July 8, 2018 at 10:18 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in mourning for the victims of the Roswell crash

A vampire novel chapter I posted a year ago yesterday on the 70th Anniversary of the Roswell crash- a crash that UFO 🛸 enthusiasts believe was of an extraterrestrial 👽 spacecraft that contained the bodies of ET grays.

Dracul Van Helsing

Qonzilqointec On 70th Anniversary of Roswell UFO Crash

French UFO researcher Jacques Vallee was sipping cognac and reflecting on how it was 70 years ago today that a UFO flying saucer was said to have crashed on a ranch near the town of Roswell New Mexico.

Later the crashed vehicle was said to be just a downed weather balloon.

Although others had speculated that the crashed vehicle was a self-conscious self-aware Hoover vacuum cleaner that had a premonitory vision of the message implied in Richard Bach’s 1970s bestseller Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Vallee didn’t know what to think about the incident.

ET better phone the nearest American Automobile Association Auto Club, was that what happened ? Vallee wondered.

His housekeeper entered the room to tell Vallee about two phone calls for him.

Mikhail Gorbachev was on Line 1 and Pope Francis was on Line 2.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister…

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Daniel Hyperion’s The Agony of Ecstasy Announcement

July 6, 2018 at 10:20 pm (Fantasy, Folklore, Literature, Mythology, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural) (, )

This post serves as an excellent introduction to the novel my good friend and fellow writer Daniel is currently writing.

If you haven’t partaken of the pleasure of reading Daniel’s writing, please do so.

Return of Dragons

“You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope…I have loved none but you.”

― Jane Austen, Persuasion

TAofE Author Note 2

Dear Readers,

I wanted to share the major milestone I’ve reached with the story, The Agony of Ecstasy,  My epic tale of love and vengeance that transcends time. The story loosely follows the belief of the Greek philosopher, Plato who presented the concept that we are a half soul in search of our other half.

Soulmates that are reborn and brought together in each phase of their soul journey are elevated in their oneness to some divine perfection. This is a thought I’ve entertained for most of my life. The soul is taught through the mind and body’s experiences, which are most painful at times. In the deepest love, we find the greatest pain, an agony of ecstasy.

Alexandra Drăgana and The Viscount Cezar Răzvan must determine if they are soulmates…

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The X-Files Enter Michelangelo’s Dreams

July 4, 2018 at 11:54 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Short play, Short play/ comedy, Television, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

The X-Files Enter Michelangelo’s Dreams

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster after binge watching 1990s episodes of The X-Files starring David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson then went to sleep 💤 in his aquarium at Set Enterprises and dreamed an X-Files related dream.

Fox Mulder (drinking a glass of bourbon) : What I want to know Scully is what do the highest levels of the U.S. government want with the Greek nature god Pan’s perfectly preserved body?

Dana Scully (shrugging): I have no idea, Mulder. I have no idea what the highest levels of the U.S. government are thinking. Or even if they think at all.

Nicotine Patch Inhaling Man (sitting at the next table in the bar): I wish my doctor hadn’t advised me to give up cigarette smoking. I imagine I look pretty stupid doing this. (continues to inhale the nicotine off the patch with his nose)

Mulder (musing aloud): I wonder if it’s possible for someone’s hairpiece to be more fun than a barrel of monkeys?

Scully: What are you aiming at, Mulder? For someone to describe you in a tweet as “a mediocre FBI agent. Spends time chasing UFOs 🛸, Sasquatch and Loch Ness monster. Huge FAIL.”

Mulder: You think the Big Chief would actually mention me, Scully?

Scully: Considering the amount of time you spent watching that Stormy Daniels porn video last night, you and he do have something in common.

Mulder (smiling): Yes and it didn’t cost me $130,000 either.

Scully: But you’re right, Mulder. The government obviously wants something with the Greek nature god Pan’s perfectly preserved body.

Mulder: Genetic research at DARPA?

Scully: Most likely, Mulder.

Mulder: Which catacomb below the Vatican is the Greek nature god Pan located in?

Scully: The hieroglyphs under the base of Michelangelo’s statue of the nature god Pan reveal the whereabouts of the catacomb, Mulder.

(A small tabby cat walks by combing its fur with a comb in its paws 🐾)

Mulder: By Michelangelo, I take it you mean the Renaissance sculptor and painter, Scully, and not the psychic lobster who’s asleep in his aquarium at Set Enterprises dreaming about us?

Scully: Exactly, Mulder.

Mulder: And I strongly suspect that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster will use the information he gleaned in this dream to inform the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and Set will therefore beat both DARPA and America’s Twitterer-In-Chief in getting the Greek nature god Pan’s body first.

Scully (smoothing her skirt and crossing her legs): Of course, Mulder.

Nicotine Patch Inhaling Man (after inhaling the tape that came with the patch): I must inform the Twitterer-In-Chief about this.

(He adjusts his election style campaign pin button on his suit which identifies him as a member of Skull 💀 and Bones 🍖 to other Skull 💀 and Bones 🍖 Society members. The button has on it two facial images- the image on the left is of Dana Scully and the image on the right is of DeForest Kelley’s Star Trek character Dr. Leonard H. McCoy)

At that moment, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster awoke.

Someone had left the TV on in the lab and BBC News had a breaking news story about how an intruder with a machete was found in Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s greenhouse.

Apparently the intruder was stopped by one of Mr. Trudeau’s greenhouse plants.

BBC News Announcer: “The Canadian Prime Minister apparently owns a genetically created cactus 🌵 plant that has a mouth and has the ability to smoke marijuana cigarettes. The plant was specially developed for him by Set Enterprises scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher right here in London. The cactus 🌵 plant apparently blew pot smoke 💨 in the machete wielding intruder’s face and sent him higher than a kite. The intruder is apparently undergoing surgery at Ottawa General Hospital to have cactus 🌵 needles removed from his goat 🐐 like furry bottom after he landed on top of the pot smoking cactus 🌵 plant and was busy shouting at the greenhouse ceiling, “The Nibiruan ET grays are coming. And Gali-Gula is their leader.”

“Meanwhile President Trump had apparently issued a tweet in which he offered condolences to the Canadian people over the death of Mr. Trudeau. He later deleted the tweet and said he was misled by fake news…

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 4th
2018.

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Miranda- Mermaid Turned Human

June 25, 2018 at 10:25 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Miranda- Mermaid Turned Human

The Controller of The Golem was deep in thought.

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan had won both yesterday’s Presidential and Parliamentary elections.

Now Erdogan would head an Executive Presidency with virtually no limits on his powers (much like Xi Jinping recently achieved in the People’s Republic of China 🇨🇳 and Donald Trump hoped that someday, His Divine Self willing, would be able to achieve in the United States of America 🇺🇸).

What this meant for the future was that someday the entire Middle East might be under the rule of a revived Ottoman Empire with Erdogan as the omnipotent Sultan of Constantinople and Caliph of the Global Islamic Caliphate.

“It doesn’t bode too well for Central and Eastern Europe either,” remarked Prince Vlad Dracula of the situation where the nations of Central and Eastern Europe had been ruled by the Turks for centuries.

“If only General Belisarius were alive today to kick Erdogan’s ass,” the Byzantine vampiress Theodora remarked about her late husband Justinian’s general who reconquered much of the Western Roman Empire for Byzantine Constantinople.

“What will this portend for the future?” The Controller whose real first name was Nathan sighed.

The trio who were standing in a public park in Istanbul suddenly heard a soft feminine voice say, “It portends danger.”

The trio turned to look at the voice and this vision greeted them:

The Controller of The Golem recognized her as Miranda the mermaid.

Only now she had become human.

The reason being that Miranda had recently swum down the Thames River towards the Set Enterprises laboratory at Canary Wharf.

There she sang for Dr. Cadbury Rocher to come out to her.

Attracted by the lovely singing voice, Dr. Cadbury Rocher came out to see who it was.

Amadeus Emanon and Renfield R. Renfield followed.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster likewise crawled out of his aquarium and outside to see who the lovely siren was with the voice of a nightingale singing at Canary Wharf.

Miranda asked Dr. Rocher to invent for her a potion which when she drank it would turn her temporarily fully human.

Dr. Rocher went inside his laboratory and came back half an hour later with the potion.

Just in time to stop Miranda from strangling Renfield with her fish tail as the British MP was serenading her with his own paraphrased version of those old Crystal Gayle lyrics, “… when I dream, I dream of you, maybe someday my dreams will come true”.

Miranda drank the potion and turned human much to Renfield’s relief and much to Michelangelo’s disappointment (as he covered his lobster ears with his claws and telepathically hummed the song It’s A Long Way To Tipperary to drown out the sound of Renfield’s singing).

“What is happening, Miranda?” Nathan asked his mermaid turned human friend.

“Atargatis has landed on the beaches of Tel Aviv with her harpoon carrying mermaid warrioresses ready to launch an all out assault on the land of Israel 🇮🇱,” said Miranda.

Meanwhile on the beaches of Tel Aviv, the ghost of Orson Welles stood in the sand and directed a ghostly film crew of ghostly cameramen and ghostly technicians to film the invasion.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 25th
2018.

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Orson Welles, Atargatis and Athena

June 24, 2018 at 11:51 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Orson Welles, Atargatis and Athena

Orson Welles ordered his 4th glass of wine 🍷 of the evening.

As he sampled it, he hoped he wasn’t turning into a lush.

Being a lush might be good enough for Sir John Falstaff but it wasn’t good enough for him Orson Welles.

He had too much he wanted to tell the world.

As Welles took another sip of the wine 🍷, he reflected on his failed marriage to Rita Hayworth whom he had formally divorced on November 10th of last year (the current evening in which he sat drinking wine in The Mermaid Wine Bistro and Lounge was June 24th 1948).

What had happened that caused his marriage to go wrong?

Probably many factors Welles thought as he gazed at his reflection in the blood red liquid of the glass.

He reflected back to the time he had considered making his own film version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula – one that he thought would be vastly superior to the 1931 Universal Pictures film version with Bela Lugosi.

Financing for the project had fell through but he had done several screen tests for it.

Including one with a beautiful Romanian brunette woman who interestingly enough called herself Draculina.

During the screen test, Welles who had been reading the role of Jonathan Harker to her playing the role of one of Dracula’s wives was very impressed by her extremely authentic vampiress like performance.

During the test, Draculina had gotten so into character (she must have been an avid student of Russian theatre practitioner Konstantin Stanislavsky), she had leaned over and given Welles a very passionate bite and hickey on the neck.

Unfortunately, Draculina did this just as Rita entered the studio.

That certainly didn’t help the relationship between husband and wife, Welles thought as he finished his glass and ordered a fifth.

The director turned his attention to other matters.

He thought about the peculiar dream he had had last night in which a lobster had appeared to him and communicated with him telepathically.

The lobster explained that his name was Michelangelo and he was a psychic lobster who was communicating with him from London in the year 2018.

Michelangelo explained to him that the Syro-Phoenician mermaid goddess Atargatis (who was the mother of Semiramis the 1st Babylonian Queen) was intending to destroy the State of Israel 🇮🇱 in that year of 2018.

It was at that moment that the phone rang waking Welles from his deep sleep.

It was a wrong number.

“No, this isn’t Floppety’s Flop House,” Welles slammed the receiver down angrily.

Welles finished his 5th glass of wine 🍷 and decided not to order another.

Otherwise he might really turn into a Sir John Falstaff.

He reached for his overcoat and hat.

He then stumbled out into the night and waved down a taxi that would drive him home.

When he arrived and fumbled around in his pocket for the keys to his room, Welles thought about the strange dream.

If this Atargatis woman of the sea was going to try to destroy Israel in 2018, that meant the nation would survive at least another 70 years.

Israeli independence had only been declared by Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion last month and already it was locked into a war of survival with its Arab neighbours.

Why had this psychic crustacean contacted him anyways, Welles wondered?

What could he a man of the theatre do about a Syro-Phoenician mermaid goddess planned invasion 70 years down the road?

“Oh Lord, send me wisdom,” Welles prayed aloud as he opened the door to his room.

Standing there waiting for him was Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 24th
2018.

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Dracul and Draculina and Athena

June 23, 2018 at 10:54 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dracul and Draculina and Athena

After Dracul Van Helsing went to the TV studio where the Countess Draculina had been broadcasting, he let her know that her father Dracula was back from the dead and was now one of the living Undead again.

The old Transylvanian Count and Wallachian Prince had been in Syria fighting alongside the Kurds against invading Turkish forces.

Now he was wandering the streets of Istanbul along with the Byzantine vampiress Theodora and the Israeli Mossad agent code named the Controller of The Golem.

They were campaigning for opposition political parties running against megalomaniac President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and his Islamist party which were intent on restoring the Ottoman Empire.

Both the Presidential and Parliamentary elections were being held tomorrow in Turkey.

Now on this Saturday night, the trio were taking a break from campaigning and were enjoying a dinner of lahmacun and drinking Turkish coffee in an Istanbul cafe while they watched a wrestling match going on outside in the street between Cerberus the 3 headed dog of The Underworld and the ghost of Saddam Hussein.

Saddam’s ghost lost.

His ghostly arms and legs had been bitten off by Cerberus’ 3 heads.

Cerberus belched 3 times- one for each head.

The 3 Furies (aka the Erinyes aka the Eumenides) showed up in leather skirted dominatrix outfits and driving a combination black hearse and ambulance.

They picked up the howling Saddam and his separated limbs and stuck them in the back of the hearse/ambulance and headed back to the Underworld of Hades.

“You don’t see that everyday,” Dracula remarked to Theodora and the Controller of the Golem.

Coincidentally Draculina said the same thing to Dracul Van Helsing as she orgasmed for the umpteenth time as the vampire hunter gave her a lesson in tantric sex from the Kama Sutra.

Dracul and the vampiress weather forecaster were back in Dracul’s room in the old Carpathian Mountain inn.

A horse and carriage then showed up at the inn to drive Draculina to Bucharest Airport where she’d catch the evening flight from Bucharest to Istanbul.

“I’ve been to Istanbul before you know,” Draculina remarked as she put her dress back on, “my mother was Turkish you know.”

“I didn’t know that,” Dracul adjusted his tie, “so your father was a Wallachian Prince who’s best known in history for impaling Turks and yet your mother was Turkish.”

“Yes but he impaled her with flesh and not wood,” Draculina put on her pantyhose, “and that instrument gave her pleasure unlike the stakes my father used on the Turkish warriors.”

“I understand the same could not be said for Isis and Osiris on the night they conjugally conceived Horus since Isis couldn’t find Osiris’ phallus after Set had cut him up into 14 pieces and so they were forced to use a phallus made of wood,” Dracul reflected aloud.

“Ouch,” Draculina winced.

“No wonder they’re always showing the Eye of Horus everywhere,” Dracul noted, “what is mistaken for Illuminati symbolism is actually the Egyptian deity advertising for a good ophthalmologist somewhere who can actually get the splinters out of his eye.”

Meanwhile in Damascus, Syria, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad received a phone call on his Hermes Trismegistus smart phone.

“Yes, I did study ophthalmology in London,” Bashar replied to the caller’s question.

“Splinters eh?” Bashar took notes.

In another one of the palace rooms, the head of the Syrian Orthodox Church was chanting the Gospel passage of the day for a small group of Christians who worked in the palace – “Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5)

“How’s your name spelled?” Bashar asked, “Horus? Would that be like the Egyptian god? It would. Well if you can drop around the palace tomorrow…”

After the coach and horse had picked up Draculina, Dracul went for a walk in the woods near the Inn.

There he came across the Greek goddess Athena looking pensive.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday June 23rd
2018.

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Pope Francis and The Satanic Sacrifice In Geneva

June 22, 2018 at 10:15 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Pope Francis and The Satanic Sacrifice In Geneva

Pan Goatee was walking around transit stops once again continuing his aesthetically inspired efforts in making the city more attractive by improving the visual appearance of its local transit system.

He had his laser machete and a karaoke headpiece with him.

He also had a can of gasoline.

As he started this evening’s slash and burn policy of ridding the city of its ugly females, he sang his own version of an old Wang Chung song from the mid-1980s:

I’d slash a million heads
to promote beauty
(Cuts off the head of an ugly looking girl)
So if you’re feeling low
cause you saw an uglo
(kicks the head away)
The blades I use are strong
They create beauty
But now the gasoline’s on
Light this head to Hell

(Pours gasoline over the head)

Rip it up
Slash down
Rip it up
Rid the world of its frown
Rip it up
Burn down
Rip it up
Beauty increases in town

Everybody slash ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody slash ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody slash ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight

Deep in the world tonight
(cuts off the head of a fat ugly woman)
The heads are going down
The blood will really flow
all the way across town

Rip it up
(cuts off the head of an even fatter and even uglier woman)
Slash down
Rip it up
Kick it down the ground
(Kicks head down the street)
Rip it up
burn down
Rip it up
Get out what’s inside of you
(takes off his Happy Days Fonzie black leather jacket and exposes a t-shirt that says GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER PSYCHOPATH)

Everybody kill ughs tonight
Everybody kill ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight…

On the edge of oblivion
All the world is Babylon
And all the love and everyone
A ship of fools sailing on
It’s the Voyage of the Damned tonight
Charon is hanging on

Across the nation
massive constipation
Everybody Ex-Lax tonight
An enema that cuts through the grime
I don’t consider it a crime

. . .

The ghost of the late Iraqi President Saddam Hussein had somehow managed to escape the fires 🔥 of Tartarus when Hades (the Greek god of the Underworld) had his back turned.

Hades at the time was taking some giant lobsters out of a bag that were a gift to him from his brother Poseidon the god of the sea 🌊.

Hades was planning to roast the lobsters at a massive shake and bake that he was planning at one of the world’s largest volcanoes 🌋 during the next month.

Saddam’s ghost was currently in the city of Istanbul because he had heard that the Vietnamese government in Hanoi was going to name Ho Babylon Minh (the vampiress granddaughter of the late Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh) the Vietnamese Ambassador to the revived Ottoman Empire.

Saddam who had spent time roasting away on a spit in Tartarus was a little behind (in the opinion of Truman Capote’s ghost) in his knowledge of the world’s current affairs.

He was not aware that Turkey’s 🇹🇷 despotic and demagogic President Recep Tayyip Erdogan had not yet formally proclaimed the revival of the Ottoman Empire with himself (Erdogan) as the new Sultan of Constantinople and the new Caliph of the new Global Islamic Caliphate.

Erdogan was hoping to do extremely well in the Presidential and Parliamentary elections this coming Sunday June 24th (the Feast Day of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist) and then he’d announce the creation of the revived Ottoman Empire with himself as Sultan and Caliph.

As Hades rummaged through the bag of lobsters looking for a psychic lobster to eat first, Persephone noticed that Saddam’s ghost had gone missing.

She immediately sent the 3-headed dog Cerberus up to Earth to find Saddam’s ghost and bring him back to Tartarus.

. . .

Pope Francis was in his bedroom in the Vatican discussing the difference between dreams and reality with the ghost of Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung.

Why Pope Francis had asked Hades to temporarily grant Dr. Jung’s ghost a dispensation to leave Purgatory for a while was there was something that the Jesuit pontiff wished to discuss with the well known expert on dreams.

The matter had been bothering Father Jorge Mario Bergoglio (as Pope Francis was known to close associates) for the past 24 hours.

Ever since he had returned to Rome from Geneva.

The pontiff had spent the Summer Solstice in Geneva attending 70th anniversary celebrations for the World Council of Churches.

After the celebration, Francis had been invited to attend what was called “a non-Anglican Evensong service” in an abandoned and desolate Catholic Church on the outskirts of Geneva.

During the service, Francis saw a 16-year-old beautiful young Russian girl (who was said to be both a virgin and the youngest living (until then) female relative of the old Russian Imperial Romanov family) sacrificed to the satanic idol image of Baphomet while Vladimir Lenin’s ghost looked on and applauded.

During the sacrifice of the Russian girl, the Baphomet appeared in person and sang those old Cat Stevens lyrics, “I’m being followed by a moonshadow, moon shadow, moonshadow” as he played the song on an electric guitar 🎸 while a werewolf howled outside the very unusual looking stained glass window depicting the image of Judas Iscariot.

“What I want to know,” Francis asked Jung as he wiped his glasses, “was this just a dream I had or did this actually happen?”.

Jung took off his own pair of spectral glasses 👓 and wiped them with his spectral handkerchief, “I’ll need to discuss this further with one of my colleagues. Preferably Sigmund Freud.”

Francis got on his Hermes Trismegistus smart phone and dialled Hades’ private number to ask him to give Sigmund Freud’s ghost a temporary dispensation from Purgatory.

“Awwww, shit,” Hades cried as one of the lobsters pinched him on the buttocks with his claws when the Greek chthonic deity was distracted by the sound of Johann Sebastian Bach’s Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring ring tone playing on his own Hermes Trismegitus smart phone.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 22nd
2018.

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