Minerva

August 21, 2020 at 11:02 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Poetry) (, , , , , )

And all the leather bound volumes on shelves were buried under dust
And all the gold on many crowns had finally turned to rust
A wireless library stretched across the globe
which technocrats wanted implants in everyone’s frontal lobe

Every fact and every fiction was now determined by Google
10 years hence you may see pic of Siamese cat when you search for “poodle”
And all will say it must be so
For high tech is not our foe

Alexa has replaced the shrink by the couch
With bar codes in your hands, no money to welch
Social interaction is missing like a person’s lips
Buried under a mask with one’s nose and no sinking ships

All that one sees are the other person’s eyes
Which have been Net trained to show nothing but lies
“The truth is out there” is a phrase now foreign as ancient Etruscan
if Truth ever existed, it’s as dead as electoral collusion with a Russian

The truth is not out there, it’s neither here nor there
For every day is filled with hope previous generations labelled “despair”
They march in tune to the beat of a non-existent drummer
where an eternal winter is labelled an endless summer

Good little sheep they all are
Marching near and far
For 2020 was the year most lost perfect vision
As their minds were infected by a diabolical incision

2030 was the UN’s sustainable goal
But the world’s elites bet on a closer running foal
And they got their wish
from the bottom of a Wuhan petri dish

The medium was indeed the message like Marshall McLuhan predicted
And people soon ceased calling themselves “homeless” after they were evicted
The media echoed the same message day after day
And people’s souls were lost like needle in the hay
And the Devil smiled as he sang “You’re all going my way”

“Be careful what you wish for” was now an old forgotten refrain
lost in a forgotten past like the whistle of ancient steam train
They had spent so much time in the late 20th Century watching movies
about lands of Dystopia and the post-Apocalypse
That finally when in reality it came to pass, no one asked, what is this?

Far from the madd’ing crowd that was so maddening
He lived in a home far away
surrounded by books and old leather volumes
where the sun ruled the day and the moon ruled the night
And 2 +2 = 5 was never ever right

In his mind’s eye he saw the lovely Athena
ancient goddess of wisdom that haunted his dreama’
Minerva was her Roman name
and she bore wisdom’s flame

Holding ancient scrolls
She pointed towards those
Who sought her light still
like one man alone on the side of a hill
Who sought neither the blue nor the Matrix red pill
For all medication inclined for a soul to kill

Her owl flew in the direction
of a world far from perfection
Knowledge to impart
Even just for one was a start.

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday August 20th
2020.

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The Medusa Portrait

August 13, 2020 at 11:18 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, painting, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


The Medusa Portrait

Dr. Lionel Jarrett a professor of Classics at the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan stood looking at his daughter Eva while London art gallery curator Dashwood Forrest (owner of The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery) stood alongside a portrait painting of the famous Medusa.

The portrait of Medusa had been painted by Oscar Wilde who was much better known for his witty repartee, his plays, his short stories, his poems, his children’s stories and his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray than he was for artistically painting pictures.

It was only recently that Dashwood Forrest in his research and investigations had uncovered that Wilde was an artist (in the painting sense of that term) as well as a writer.

Wilde had apparently painted this picture of Medusa after a wild night of drinking absinthe and trying to write a poem about her.

In his dream that inspired the painting, Wilde had Medusa sit for him while he set up his canvas, palette and paints.

Medusa had returned for this sitting just after her appointment with her gay Spartan hairdresser.

Boasted the hairdresser at her appointment, “I had 299 fellow Spartans at my backside making us a noble band of 300 but I refused to bow the knee to the King of Persia.”

The hairdresser’s bloodcurdling tale had caused serpentlike curls to form at the top of Medusa’s hair which Wilde was able to capture in this sitting.

The serpents of course never did leave Medusa’s hair.

It really was the Hairstyling Appointment From Hell.

When Wilde woke up, he discovered that he had been sleep painting and had painted the portrait to its final finish.

Dr. Lionel Jarrett looking at his daughter Eva said he’d buy the painting for her.

The ghost of Orson Welles (just recently returned from Luxor, Egypt) took a black and white photo of the happy moment.

. . .

A naked Donald Trump was in the shower showering his golden toupee as his son-in-law Jared Kushner sat blindfolded outside the clear screen see-through screen shower cubicle.

“So, Jared,” Trump was using Johnson’s Baby Shampoo, “How did you get Israel and the United Arab Emirates to agree to establish diplomatic relations with one another?”.

“Well, Ivanka asked her friend London art gallery owner Dashwood Forrest to ask his friend the ex-Gorgon Medusa to visit a gay hairdresser in the town of Sparti, Greece (which lies at the site of ancient Sparta) and when she got snakes back in her hair, she was going to visit both Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Abu Dhabi Crown Prince Mohammed Al Nayhan and turn them to stone unless they agreed to establish diplomatic relations with each other.”

“So the answer to establishing peace is to get stoned?” Trump asked Kushner.

Meanwhile down in his basement, Democratic Party presumptive Presidential nominee Joe Biden was talking to his pet pot smoking desert cactus plant whom he had named Sweet Dementia, “Wow, that’s really crazy, man. You mean Kamala is descended from a slave owning family on the island of Jamaica and not descended from slaves? Wow, that really blows my mind. Good thing for me, my mind was blown a long time ago. Fortunately for me, most of the mainstream news media in this country are all disinformation branches of the New World Order Ministry of Propaganda and won’t bother mentioning that. Since Kamala and I are going to bring the Marxist New World Order to America. Now, I think I’ll go take a shower, Sweet Dementia. Care to join me?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 13th
2020.

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Huchuysisa At Luxor

August 12, 2020 at 11:10 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The Inca Vampiress Huchuysisa standing in front of one of the pillars of the Temple of Luxor

The Inca vampiress Huchuysisa stood alongside one of the pillars of the Temple of Luxor.

Approaching her was the ghost of Orson Welles who was walking with the ghost of a man who looked to be dressed in the garb of a classical Greek warrior.

Welles’ ghost was wearing spectral dark sunglasses and appeared to have lost weight the past week by a steady diet of spectral vegan plant based camelburgers.

“Look who I’ve found,” Welles’ ghost flashed a wide smile as he took off his spectral sunglasses.

“Who?” Huchuysisa asked.

“The ghost of Alexander the Great,” Welles introduced the ancient Greek king and conquerer, “Apparently the Greek god Zeus asked his brother Hades to release Alex from the realm of Hades back in January. Hades consented and Alex had gone on a Mediterranean cruise to see what the modern Mediterranean looked like. And wouldn’t you know it, this wretched CCP virus (which WHO has mandated everyone should call the Covid-19 virus so that’s why I’m not doing it) struck. Poor Alex’s ship was sailing aimlessly for months. It was finally allowed to dock in Alexandria after Alexander had to bribe a whole bunch of officials with a bunch of rare and valuable ancient Greek drachma coins that Charon the Styx river ferryman had neglected to remove from Alex’s mouth when he was crossing the Rivers Styx and Acheron after kicking the bucket centuries ago.”

“What is Alexander doing here at Luxor?” Huchuysisa asked.

“He’s come to see the Temple of Luxor where he had himself crowned Pharaoh of Egypt centuries ago,” Welles replied as he lit a spectral Cuban cigar.

“But some scholars claim he was never actually crowned Pharaoh of Egypt here,” Huchuysisa pointed out, “That he never got south of Memphis. That he was only crowned conceptually and not in person here. He got himself crowned conceptually at Luxor since being crowned Pharaoh at Luxor was the Egyptian Pharaohonic thing to do. And Alexander wanted to do it.”

“Is that true, Alex?” Welles’ ghost pulled a large spectral bottle of red wine out of his coat pocket.

“I don’t know,” Alexander’s ghost shrugged, “I can’t remember. I drank a little from the River Lethe (the river of forgetfulness in the Underworld). Not as much as my fellow spectral travellers who were with me did. I do remember much but there’s quite a bit I have forgotten.”

“I wonder,” Welles’ ghost poured himself a spectral glass of spectral red wine, “if Joe Biden ever stumbled and bumbled his way down to the River Lethe in the Underworld and mistaking it for the Pierian Spring, he drank deeply from it.”

The winged horse Pegasus flew by the vampiress and the ghostly duo.

Meanwhile down in his basement, Joe Biden mistaking his pot smoking cactus plant (which was a gift to him from some crazy Australian named Uncle Ernie who had taken way too many cuttings off his adopted nephew’s pet pot cactus plants) for his wife asked the plant, “Dear, who was it I named my Vice-Presidential running mate again? I’ve forgotten.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 12th
2020.

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Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka and Her Wolf Companion

August 8, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Folklore, Gothic, Gothic romance, love, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )


The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka

The immortal Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka had several wolf companions who served as her protectors.

Her longest serving was a wolf called Seneca who had served her ever since she became an immortal after bareback riding a rare white buffalo on the South Dakota plains back in the late 1870s.

Seneca had been a gift to her from her Medicine Man grandfather (long since deceased).

She had often felt that this wolf Seneca was a creature from another dimension.

The writer C.S. Lewis in one of his Narnia books had once talked about a planet which had several trees growing on it.

Each tree was its own separate universe or world or dimensional realm.

Just as C.S. Lewis saw the rise of the Transhumanist movement within Science (noted in his book That Hideous Strength).

So he foresaw the possibility of multiple worlds or multiple universes- something that modern physics now thinks possible.

Saint Jerome who translated the Bible into Latin -a book known to History as the Vulgate – had recounted in his diary a meeting with a faun (the Roman term for satyr- a creature who was part man and part goat- part of Greco-Roman mythology).

The faun had told Jerome not to worry.

That he (the faun) was a creature from another dimension.

But a dimension created by the same God that Jerome worshipped.

For the Great High God was the creator of the whole Cosmos (and Cosmos in Greek meant the whole created order).

So the faun explained to Jerome that there were many dimensions within the cosmos – the whole created order- not just the dimension in which Jerome’s Earth existed.

Although the faun explained there were a group of beings called the Watchers who had created fauns and satyrs and other hybrids (recounted in mythology) in this dimension.

These Watchers were the ancestors of the Nephilim (the giants) mentioned in the Book of Genesis Chapter 6.

The Watchers and their Nephilim off-spring caused great evil on the Earth which caused God to send the Flood.

When Tanaka had read Jerome’s account of his meeting with the faun, she wondered if Lewis had read it as well.

And caused Lewis to create the faun character of Mr. Tumnus in the Narnia books.

Tanaka reflected on her wolf protectors.

Some were supernatural.

Others were natural who were drawn to her.

There was one- a white wolf with blue eyes- that Tanaka thought was in fact human.

He was a shapeshifter.

Out walking with this blue eyed wolf protector in the woods near the northeastern English village of Barnack (in whose village rectory the noted writer Charles Kingsley author of the book The Water Babies had spent his childhood), Tanaka sat down and looked at him and communicated telepathically.

When the wolf answered Yes to being human, she communicated another question.

The wolf held his head down and then looked up again with sad eyes.

He had lost the ability to speak his own thoughts so he communicated with the lyrics of one of his favourite songs from his childhood – the song Sometimes When We Touch written by Canadian singer-songwriter Dan Hill:

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I’d rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie

For who am I to judge you
In what you say or do
I’m only just beginning
To see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes
And hide
I want to hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance’s an honest strategy
Leaves me grappling with my pride
But through the years of maturity
Some tenderness survives
I’m just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prizefighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes
And hide…

And with that the wolf closed his eyes and walked with his head down into the woods.

“Avalon,” she called out after him, “Don’t you want me to hold you till the fear in you subsides?”.

The wolf came back.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 8th
2020.

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Hi’ iaka’s Dance and Song: Dutchman On The Rocks

July 13, 2020 at 10:40 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“The time seems to be growing short!”
Poseidon said to his brother Hades
as he noticed sands through the centuries’ long hourglass
starting to run out.
“I wonder if I should send the sirens close to that ship
to beckon the Dutchman towards his final Stygian port!”
Poseidon stroked his beard and twiddled his trident.

“The sirens have long surpassed their quota of bringing ships in
towards their final Stygian ports,” Hades put on his spectacles
to browse the latest accounting report and statement
put together by his own personal infernal accountant,
“That Dutchman is a braggart and a fool.
He’ll offend somebody and when the final dice is rolled,
They whoever they may be will summon the Dutchman towards his final Stygian port.”

Captain Hendrick Van Der Decken
stood at the wheel of the Flying Dutchman
It had been a long time
since that fatal year of 1641
when he had blasphemed Christ
and thrown his Crucifix into the sea
after having sold his soul to the Devil
in the waters of the Cape of Good Hope
off South Africa

Hendrick had long since given up on the idea
of ever making landfall again
To sail ocean waters until Doomsday
he had accepted as his fate

An albatross with an arrow stuck in its feathered breast
landed on the ship’s wheel
and squawked like a parrot,
“You’re never going to make landfall until the Apocalypse,
You’re never going to make landfall until the Apocalypse!”.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Captain Van Der Decken grimaced.

“All right, the square root of pi is… oh, my God, I’ve forgotten!
The square root of pi is… oh, my God I’ve forgotten!”.
And with that the albatross spread its wings
and flew off
Presumably in search of an electronic calculator
or one positively mesmerizing abacus.

“Thanks for nothing!” Van Der Decken spit into the wind
And the wind returned the favour.
A huge splash of wave wiped off the spit.

The Captain followed a star in the heavens
Unbeknownst to him, the star was the comet NEOWISE
haunting the early morning sky in various parts of the world

His ship came within sight of Hawaii
And there on the rocks off shore
danced Hi’iaka the Hawaiian goddess of dance
She danced the hula and sang a sweet lovely song

Hendrick felt a stirring in his loins
Something he hadn’t experienced in centuries
and he steered the ship’s wheel in the direction of the song
and the sight of the heavenly vision

Hi’iaka’s elder sister Pele the goddess of volcanoes and fire
was offended by the Captain’s look of lust
and blew her top

Lava and molten rock
struck the ship Flying Dutchman
and broke it apart
The ship’s wheel and the Captain
landed on the rock
On which Hi’iaka danced the hula

As Hi’iaka danced,
she smiled
and wagged her finger
at the Captain
and said,
“No lei for you.”

And with that Captain Hendrick Van Der Decken
fell back below the surface of the waves
there to be ferried across the River Styx
and growled at on the shore
by the 3-headed dog Cerberus.

-A supernatural narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 13th
2020.

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Aphrodite: Pearl of The Meditteranean

July 9, 2020 at 10:49 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The ghost of the Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte had managed to convince Hades and Persephone to let him out of the Underworld for a while and let him wander the Earth.

The Earth was in the throes of chaos thanks to the Covid-19 virus and the global lockdown as well as ongoing Neo-Bolshevik insurrectionary riots and neo-Jacobin French Revolutionary Reign of Terror tactics going on in the United States of America.

It was just such a period of chaos and turmoil in France during the last decade of the 18th Century that had allowed Napoleon to come to power in France and eventually make himself Emperor of the French in the 1st decade of the 19th Century.

Now Napoleon wished to wander the earth to see who would emerge as the absolute ruler of the hour in this time of chaos.

He was currently walking the streets of Rome (the city he had made his son Napoleon II the King of).

He was quite startled to see an elk walking the streets of Rome.

The elk headed towards the colosseum and entered it.

Strange, the ex-Emperor thought to himself.

He had seen a few peculiar things in Rome back in the day but not that.

. . .

The Egyptian god Horus flew through the streets of London.

Horus had spent over 1500 years as a disembodied spirit after he had been decapitated by King Arthur’s sword Excalibur (capable of slaying immortals).

His spirit on and off had possessed the bodies of various mortal men during that time period but as soon as his mortal host’s body had kicked the bucket, he was left finding a new body to enter.

Now however the Chinese company Huawei had managed to invent a robotic falcon (a robot with all the capabilities and powers inherent in a falcon of nature but one that was immortal having been made from everlasting mineral materials).

A quick call from Horus’ new partner George Soros (The Horus-Soros Alliance had been negotiated by the ghost of Aleister Crowley in-between his incessant screaming as he roasted away on a barbeque spit down in Tartarus) to Soros’ good friend the Chinese Communist paramount leader Xi Jinping and Huawei had provided Horus with just the right robotic falcon body for his spirit to enter.

Now he was flying the streets of London in search of his prey.

Damn, Horus thought to himself.

With this Covid-19 pandemic going on, many people were wearing masks.

How would he able to recognize his prey if his prey was wearing a mask?

. . .

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was walking on a beach on the island of Cyprus.

There were reports that a giant oyster shell had washed up on this beach and Dracul’s friend Peter Whitstable (the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol) had asked him to investigate.

The shell was spotted near an open fire on the beach.

Van Helsing and his friend the ghost of Orson Welles approached the fire.

The giant oyster was being cooked over the open fire by the Greek god Dionysus.

“Do you know if a pearl also came with this shell?” Van Helsing asked the now thoroughly inebriated Greek deity (who had in a single night saved the Cypriot wine making industry from financial disaster).

“Hic! Hic! Hic!” Dionysus replied, “I was told by a gypsy wench that a pearl of great price was in the shell but that pearl of great price up and walked away.”

“It’s Dionysus vs. Christ! Don’t you understand?” The ghost of Friedrich Nietzsche spoke to the ghosts of Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus as the 3 philosophers sat like bumps on a log on a log further down the beach.

Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles returned to their hotel room.

There the Greek goddess Aphrodite (who was the pearl of great price from the oyster shell) was waiting for Van Helsing.

The ghost of Orson Welles was once again forced to shut his eyes as Van Helsing carried on with a goddess.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 9th
2020.

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Pan Goatee Beheads Fat Ugly Blimp While Marxist Quartet Visits DC

July 4, 2020 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Satyr serial killer Pan Goatee received an email from his local public library telling people not to put their library books in the microwave and turn it on in the mistaken belief that this will kill any Covid-19 virus lurking on the book covers and jacket.

“I can’t believe the stupidity of people these days,” Goatee remarked.

But there was plenty of stupidity going around as some fat ugly blimp was stupidly wandering around the neighbourhood where Pan Goatee lived.

Goatee quickly beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete and cut her up into 666 quadrillion pieces.

There was a beautiful woman who had been walking alongside the fat ugly blimp.

“Just on the off chance ugliness is contagious like the Covid-19 virus,” Goatee spoke in solemn infectious diseases “expert” tones as he beheaded the beautiful woman.

Dr. Anthony Fauci had never addressed the question on whether or not ugliness was contagious (although there was some evidence for it when one looked at news footage of the overall appearance of women who attended Hillary 2016 rallies 4 years ago).

Dr. Fauci himself had caught a mysterious virus a few days ago that had turned him into a garden gnome lawn ornament.

Although members of House and Senate Committees that Dr. Fauci had testified in front of the past week hadn’t noticed any difference.

As Joe Biden made his 4th of July message on his front lawn surrounded by garden gnome lawn ornaments whom, he told the assembled media, were wanting to smell his hairy legs, Biden said, “The most patriotic thing one can do this 4th of July is to wear a mask.”

Biden made the statement while NOT wearing a mask.

At the 4th of July fireworks display over Washington DC, the ghosts of Vladimir Lenin, Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and North Korea’s first Communist leader Kim Il-sung were all watching.

The ghosts of the Marxist quartet had been temporarily released by Hades from roasting away on their respective barbeque spits down in Tartarus at the request of Pope Francis who was quite anxious that the foursome should see this year’s 4th of July fireworks over Washington DC.

Pope Francis’ request to Hades had been co-signed by American economist Jeffrey Sachs, Bill Gates of Microsoft and botched vaccines fame, George Soros, WHO head Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres and Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.

“Just think,” Stalin shed tears, “By next year’s 4th of July celebrations, this country will belong to us.”

“Or at least your ideological successors at any rate,” the 3 heads of Cerberus growled as the famed Underworld dog chased the 4 back to Tartarus.

And then in the glow of the Buck Moon (the nickname of the July full moon because this is the time of year when the male deer begin to grow their antlers), Cernunnos the Celtic horned stag god of beasts and wild places stood atop the Washington Monument obelisk in the moonlight.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 4th
2020.

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Atargatis In Alexandria

June 27, 2020 at 10:28 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

In the courtyard of the Royal Alexandria Hotel
she sat
the Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis
on a late June evening in 1939

Although the sands of time
In various hourglasses
kept turning over
This way and that

The Egyptian god Thoth passed by
holding keys of Time
She saw a man named Quentin Talbot
encounter Thessalonike of Macedon
The half-sister of Alexander the Great
a couple of nights ago in the hotel ballroom

Then the scene shifted to a beach at Dunwich in Suffolk
where Thessalonike was about to sacrifice Quentin
to the old Celtic gods
on a June evening in 2020.

Dracul Van Helsing arrived to save Quentin
from being sacrificed
The next thing Atargatis knew
was she saw Van Helsing
making out with her own daughter Semiramis
In the upper bedroom
Of a Dunwich pub and inn.

Seated in an armchair and holding a spectral glass of spectral red wine
And watching the mortal-immortal sexual encounter on the bed
Was the ghost of Orson Welles
Who said,
Being a peep and watching this makes me feel like King Leer
A voyeur of some importance.

The scene vanished again
And she saw Adolf Hitler encountering Josef Stalin
In an Egyptian tomb
that had been transferred to the dungeon of Castle Dracula
in Transylvania

Hitler and Stalin were playing a chess game
For controlling America in the year 2020
The young Chinese Communist revolutionary Mao Tse-tung
dropped by
And told Hitler to use his white knight to crush a black pawn

Der Fuhrer like all racists
thought all Asians looked the same
And mistaking Mao for one of his Japanese allies
followed the future Chairman Mao’s advice

Stalin moved in for the kill
As Mao applauded
General Robert E. Lee’s battle flag of Northern Virginia
went up in flames across a map of the American south
Followed by the Stars and Stripes going up in flames
Across a map of the entire United States of America
Soon to be replaced by the Hammer and Sickle.

Atargatis leaned back on her chaise lounge as the combined scorpion and Phoenix fan above her kept her cool

A shadow fell across her.
She opened her eyes.
“Van Helsing, I presume?”
She said to the man standing alongside the chaise lounge.

Orson Welles’ ghost found himself in the Royal Alexandria Hotel courtyard
“Once again, I’m a witness… I’m a witness…”
He rang the bell alongside his chaise lounge
to summon the hotel porter to bring him a glass of red wine.

-A narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday June 27th
2020.

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Saint John’s Eve

June 23, 2020 at 10:47 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The last few days had been a haze for Quentin Talbot.

He had booked a room in the Royal Alexandria Hotel in Alexandria.

He had gone downstairs to the lobby and found himself transported back in time to 1939.

There had been a ball going on in the hotel ballroom.

He had gone in and met a woman who claimed to be Thessalonike of Macedon the half-sister of Alexander the Great.

Somehow Quentin found himself aboard a ship in Alexandria’s harbour.

Thessalonike had jumped overboard and turned herself into a mermaid.

Quentin then recalled something that a London art gallery curator and art dealer named Dashwood Forrest had told him.

There was an old legend that Thessalonike of Macedon had turned into a mermaid shortly after Alexander’s death.

The ship soon found itself off the coast from the Suffolk town of Dunwich on the North Sea coast.

Dunwich had been the capital of the Kingdom of East Anglia at one time and a major international port.

Its decline began when three great storms struck the town- one in January 1286, one in February 1287 and a third in December 1287.

Most of the buildings that had been present in 13th Century Dunwich including 8 churches had disappeared with the storms.

Local legend has it that at certain tides, church bells can still be heard beneath the waves.

Tonight as the tides surged in a great storm, Quentin could hear the bells ringing beneath the waves.

Quentin soon found himself being taken off the ship by dwarf like creatures.

Unbeknownst to him, the dwarf like creatures were korrigans from the Breton region of France.

At the same time over in Rome, another group of korrigans from Britanny were exiting a wooden statue of the Baphomet on wheels inside the Vatican.

Quentin soon found himself being taken down to the beach where Thessalonike (who had since shapeshifted back into human shape) was standing in front of an altar by a huge bonfire.

Thessalonike was dressed in the robes of a Druidic priestess and holding a huge sacrificial knife.

Quentin deduced that things weren’t looking too promising for him when the korrigans tied him to the altar.

A huge black dog with large red eyes, gigantic bared teeth and shaggy black fur came and sat by the bonfire.

The dog was that infamous Hellhound of English folklore known as the Black Shuck who was said to haunt the coastline and countryside of East Anglia.

The dog started to howl.

Of course, the Black Shuck was singing a song but to Quentin’s ears, it sounded like howling.

The song the Black Shuck was singing was, How Much Is That Human Sacrifice By The Window?

Coincidentally a stained glass window of Saint Elizabeth (cousin of the Virgin Mary) holding a baby Saint John the Baptist from one of Dunwich’s 8 lost sunken ancient churches had washed up on to the shore alongside the altar.

“Welcome to Saint John’s Eve 2020,” Thessalonike smiled a sinister smile at Quentin as she raised the knife.

“British Prime Minister Boris Johnson says you’re not practicing social distancing,” Dracul Van Helsing shouted as he aimed a crossbow and hit Thessalonike in the chest with an arrow.

“Shit,” Thessalonike started bleeding like a woman in a TV commercial for an obviously unsuccessful tampon product.

She headed to the ocean and dived in turning into a mermaid.

Gurkas from British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s personal British Army Brigade started wrestling with the korrigans.

Eventually Quentin was freed and the Saint John’s Eve Dunwich Human Sacrifice for 2020 was cancelled.

Van Helsing went to a nearby pub to have several cold beers while Quentin Talbot was taken to a doctor.

Inside the pub, Van Helsing was approached by the ancient Babylonian Queen Semiramis.

“Sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong, eh, Van Helsing?”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 23rd
2020.

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Hermes, Ares and The Inca Vampiress Huchuysisa

June 19, 2020 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Ares the Greek god of war had gone to Miami to visit his brother Hermes.

Since the 12 Olympians, like most gods and goddesses of the world’s ancient pantheons, have all started using messenger apps on their smart phones, tablets and laptops, there was no real reason to use a messenger god like Hermes anymore.

Hence Hermes had retired to Miami.

Ares had gone to Miami to boast to Hermes about his actions in trying to start wars in various parts of the world.

Ares found Hermes lying on a sandy beach.

The messenger god was wearing dark sunglasses and covered in Coppertone lotion.

“So, what have you been up to?” Hermes lit himself a joint.

“Well, I’m trying to start a war between India and China,” Ares started reading off the list of his accomplishments, “Recently at the Galwan River Valley in Ladakh, I’ve had Chinese troops attacking Indian soldiers using iron rods studded with nails since under the terms of a 1996 bilateral agreement, neither side shall open fire with guns or explosives. At least 20 Indian soldiers are dead and of course Beijing is as usual quiet about the number of casualties on its side.”

Hermes opened himself a bottle of Corona beer and started sipping it, “What else have you done?”.

“Well, I’ve had North Korea blow up its liaison office with South Korea in the border town of Kaesong and my friend Lady MacBeth has been whispering in the ears of Kim Yo-jong (sister of Kim Jong-un) the acting leader of North Korea these days to say further military action against South Korea is on its way,” Ares smiled from ear to ear unbeknownst to the fact that he was being lusted after by a Catholic priest monsignor from a Basilica in Washington DC.

Ares then received a notification on his smart phone, “This is wonderful. Troops from Nepal have been put on alert in their border region with India.”

“You seem to be working overtime to start World War III,” Hermes helped himself to a cheese and tomato sandwich from his picnic basket.

“I am,” Ares flexed his muscles causing the gay Catholic monsignor to swoon on the beach, “I’ve also had Turkey threatening war against Israel if Israel decides to annex large swathes of the West Bank next month. And earlier this month, the Kingdom of Jordan threatened similar military action against Israel.”

“Why is Benjamin Netanyahu so anxious to annex a large portion of the West Bank next month anyways?” Hermes started eating a lox cream and cheese bagel.

“Well, according to a Renfield R. Renfield podcast I heard recently, it’s because Donald Trump’s polling numbers are so low and Netanyahu fears Trump may not be re-elected this November. So the Israeli Prime Minister is going to annex the West Bank while he’s still got a friendly administration in Washington DC, ” the Greek god of war put some Coppertone lotion on his bare legs.

“So it’s the American electorate’s fault for backing the Communist Neo-Menshevik and Neo-Bolshevik Democrats against the would-be American Caesar Donald Trump that an all-out war may start in the Middle East next month?” Hermes noted that his ice cream cone had melted in the sun.

“Yes, one thing you can always count on is for the American voter to do something outrageously stupid,” Ares grinned.

Hermes decided to go buy another ice cream cone.

Since the ice cream stand was closed, he went back to his condo.

A woman was entering the door of the condo next door.

“Who’s that?” Ares asked.

“That’s my next door neighbour the Inca vampiress Huchuysisa,” Hermes answered, “Her life is apparently in danger from both the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama (whom Jamie Manson the bull headed bull dyke columnist for the National Apostate Reporter worships) and the flaming head of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.”

“Maybe she could use a Greek for protection,” Ares mused.

“I hope he doesn’t want to use a Trojan for protection,” the Catholic monsignor standing directly behind Ares mused.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 19th
2020.

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