Of Castros and Other Despots

April 17, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

It was 60 years ago today that the American CIA’s poorly planned and thoroughly botched Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba took place.

The plan was to drive the Castro Communist government of Cuba out of power.

The Communists are still in power in Cuba today.

And today the American CIA itself (along with the rest of the American Deep State) is now crawling from top to bottom with Neo-Bolshevik Communist ideologues.

Raul Castro the former President of Cuba (and successor to Fidel Castro) used the 60th anniversary of the Bay of Pigs invasion to announce his resignation as leader of Cuba’s Communist Party today.

-Renfield R. Renfield British MP doing his Saturday night podcast from Lord Horatio Nelson’s column atop London’s Trafalgar Square.

. . .

The Bay of Pigs invasion is not the only anniversary to be noted on this April 17th 2021.

It was 39 years ago today on April 17th 1982 that Her Majesty Elizabeth II in her role as Queen of the Dominion of Canada signed into law in Ottawa the new Canadian Constitution that included the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Today if you click on the link to the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms at the Government of Canada website, a message pops up that the link to this page you’re looking for is now broken.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Last night Ontario Premier (and for all intensive purposes absolute Fascist dictator) Doug Ford the leader of Canada’s largest province announced the most draconian lockdown measures ever.

Police would be allowed to arbitrarily stop any pedestrian walking the streets or any person driving a vehicle and ask them for their ID papers with home address as well as an explanation of why they’ve left their homes.

Roadblocks and checkpoints had also been set up on Ontario’s borders with the provinces of Manitoba and Quebec to turn back any person deemed unfit to enter the province.

After making the announcement the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST suddenly appeared written in black and red felt ink on Doug Ford’s forehead and a Lake Ontario Beach Rubbish Cream Pie was thrown in his face by an invisible entity (identified as a 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears according to a Harvey Wallbanger drinking bystander).

Today Ford announced he was dropping giving police the powers to arbitrarily ask someone for their ID papers and home address and an explanation of why they were outside their homes after an outcry from Ontario’s civil libertarian leaders (of which there were not too many in the Ontario of the Great Reset).

However Ford did offer a caveat “unless police suspected the person might possibly be attending a mass social gathering”.

Given the Nazi Gestapo like mentality or Neo-Bolshevik Communist secret police like mentality of many police officers in Canada (to say nothing of the rest of the Western world), that caveat would be enough to give any power hungry corrupt cop (of which there are far too many in Canada and the Western world) the legal cover he needed to persecute and harass somebody he didn’t like the look of or just didn’t like for whatever reason.

-Renfield R. Renfield British MP broadcasting from above the Canadian High Commission in London, England.

. . .

Prince Philip’s funeral was held at St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle today.

As the day gave way to night, the London-based ancient Egyptian vampire Set stood on the grounds of Windsor Castle and paid his respects from a distance.

Set had met the Duke of Edinburgh on a few occasions.

Meanwhile far off in the Canadian province of Alberta, a trio of deities were having a bit of fun.

Thor, Loki and a robotic falcon possessed by the spirit of the Egyptian god Horus had kidnapped a statue of a white unicorn from the small village of Delia, Alberta.

For the past two years, Morgan the Mystical Unicorn had stood in front of an arts and crafts shop in the small village of 215 people.

Then a couple of nights ago, the white unicorn (made of stainless steel) had been stolen.

Today it had been found in a farmer’s field not far from the village.

Its horn had been hammered off and then fitted upside down into the horse’s head.

A cruel thing to do to a statue of a unicorn.

A woman named Delia (she was in fact the Greek goddess Artemis whose epithet Delia meant “Woman born on the island of Delos”) was sure that the three deities’ abduction and smashing and inverting of the horn inside the head of Morgan the Magical Mystical Unicorn was directed at her.

In the form of a message.

A message directed against her.

And somehow connected with the funeral of Philip (since Philip had also been the name of the father of the Macedonian Greek king Alexander the Great).

And the unicorn (along with the lion) had been longstanding symbols of the British monarchy to be found on their coat of arms.

And somehow this tied in with “the little horn of the Book of Daniel” (Daniel Chapter 8 which was seen as a prototype of the Antichrist).

Already Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was using an Oxford cryptographer to deciper the message the whole Morgan the Mystical Unicorn abduction from the village of Delia and the horn smashing and inversion intended to convey.

The Greek goddess Artemis: Whose epithet is Delia.

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The Turning Point

April 9, 2021 at 8:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

“So, where is your friend Renfield R. Renfield tonight?” Angelique Dumont asked her boyfriend Amadeus Emanon as he came over to her apartment.

“I was informed by Athelstan the butler at the Set Mansion this morning that Renfield has apparently decided to vanish for a few days,” Amadeus answered.

“Vanish?” Angelique seemed perplexed.

“Yes, the number of governments and wealthy global oligarchs around the world who want to see him assassinated has really grown exponentially the past week,” Amadeus explained.

“So I take it then that Renfield won’t be attending Prince Philip’s funeral?” Angelique inquired.

“Well I understand Philip’s funeral is to be a small affair at the Duke of Edinburgh’s own personal request plus Covid restrictions are in place,” Amadeus was eating a Worcestershire sauce laced grilled cheese sandwich, “Plus I don’t think Renfield would have really been invited anyways.”

“Prince Philip didn’t like Renfield?” Angelique Dumont put honey in her tea.

“I don’t think Philip knew Renfield very well,” Amadeus pointed out, “But Prince Philip’s eldest son Charles Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall certainly doesn’t like Renfield very well.”

“Why doesn’t Prince Charles like Renfield?” Angelique wanted to know.

“Well, because a few years ago, Charles was only standing a few feet away from Renfield when Renfield said to someone else that in his opinion Charles’ 2nd wife Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall looked like a horse,” Amadeus sipped a ginger beer.

“That would explain the Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall Charles’ dislike of Renfield,” Angelique admitted.

“The next day, Renfield did issue an apology… to horses,” Amadeus recalled, “but even that didn’t quite cut the mustard with Prince Charles.”

“I should say not,” Angelique shook her head, “But I think Her Majesty the Queen likes Renfield does she not?”.

“Yes,” Amadeus nodded, “Because Renfield once saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.”

. . .

“Who’s this Prince Philip guy?” American President Joe Biden asked one of his aides, “Is he the fellow who made Philips Electric Shavers?”.

“No, Mr. President,” The aide wore a t-shirt that said I’M WITH STUPID with an arrow pointing in Biden’s direction, “He was the Prince Consort of the Queen of England.”

“Victoria?” Biden reached for a glass of water to take his Geritol pills.

“That was Prince Albert,” his aide sounded exasperated, “And Victoria was queen for the most part of two centuries ago.”

“Who’s the current Queen?” Biden inquired.

“Are you referring to the Sovereign of Great Britain or your recent appointment to the position of Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services?” His aide wanted to know.

Biden scratched his head at that one.

. . .

After administering a severe spanking to Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing for being late to their meeting, the Norse Goddess Freya went to a corner of the room and stood looking at him.

“So did you find out if it’s true that my son Thor has formed an alliance with Loki?” Freya asked.

“It’s true,” Dracul Van Helsing lit a cigarette and poured himself a glass of bourbon.

“But such an alliance was not foreseen in the Poetic Edda or Prose Edda?” Freya pointed out.

“That’s true as well,” Van Helsing nodded, “Anyhow Thor and Loki have formed an alliance with Osiris and Horus to bring about a Great Reset New World Order. That idiotic English language mantra Build Back Better is being translated into ancient Norse and ancient Egyptian even as we speak.”

“This is depressing news,” Freya sighed, “I need a conjugal encounter right now to get rid of my depression.”

“So do I,” Van Helsing confessed.

They were soon on the bed in the apartment making out with one another.

The ghost of Orson Welles walked in at that moment.

“Not again,” Welles’ ghost went back into the hall.

A Norwegian otter carrying a notepad and a pencil asked Welles if he knew the ancient Norse word for Google.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 9th
2021.

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Yaldabaoth’s Interesting 48 Hours

March 29, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“I understand Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun has had an interesting 48 hours,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked to his friend Amadeus Emanon as they sat down to late evening tea and crumpets in the dining room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal west London mansion.

“He did?” Amadeus bit into a crumpet.

“Yes, yesterday he was almost arrested by Irish Garda police for driving a Catholic priest to his parish church to say public Mass,” Renfield answered.

“Is that a crime?” Amadeus was shocked.

“It is now,” Renfield nodded, “The Antichrist government of the once Catholic nation of Ireland is now the most Antichrist government in Western Europe. They’re recently made it a crime for a priest to leave his home to say a public Mass as well as made it a crime for anyone to leave their home to attend Catholic Mass.”

“How did Yaldabaoth escape the Irish Garda Police?” Amadeus inquired.

“The car Yaldabaoth was driving was a replica of the Batmobile from the 1966-68 television series Batman starring Adam West and Burt Ward (that the little leprechaun won in a Guinness drinking contest a few years back) so he managed to outrun them,” Renfield explained.

“Then what did Yaldabaoth do in his next 24 hours?” Amadeus poured himself a cup of English Breakfast Tea even though he was having late evening tea and crumpets.

“Well, earlier today Yaldabaoth was small enough to fit inside a baby submarine the Seed of Nautilus that succeeded in freeing the 1300 foot Evergreen Marine container ship MV Ever Given that was stuck in the Suez Canal,” Renfield smiled.

“Yaldabaoth was responsible for freeing the Ever Given?” Amadeus was astounded.

“Yes, his mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom should be so proud,” Renfield sipped his own cup of English Breakfast Tea.

Meanwhile the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having a phone conversation with his CEO of Set Enterprises a man called Watson Holmes.

“This is a public relations disaster,” Set wept in his beer, “Our company has baby subs. We could have easily leant Yaldabaoth one when he was doing his deep canal route dive to free the Ever Given that was stuck in the Suez Canal. Instead my rival, sister and sister-in-law the Paris based Egyptian vampiress Isis gets all the glory and publicity for letting Yaldabaoth use her baby sub the Seed of Nautilus ”

“I’m afraid it was that idiot Dr. Marmalade Montague who took the phone call when Yaldabaoth phoned Set Enterprises,” Set Enterprises’ CEO Watson Holmes explained, “Dr. Montague misheard and thought Yaldabaoth was asking for a baby tub to use. And Marmalade said, “Sorry, we have no baby tubs” and hung up the phone.

Meanwhile in Paris, France the Egyptian vampiress Isis (who was worshipped as the goddess of the moon, magic and healing in ancient Egypt and who was Set’s rival, sister and sister-in-law as well as the wife of Osiris and the mother of Horus) was basking in the glory of having had her baby sub the Seed of Nautilus used by Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun in freeing the container ship Ever Given from the Suez Canal.

She was being photographed by the assembled world press.

Egypt’s goddess Isis basking in glory.

It was a good thing for Yaldabaoth that he was still in Egypt.

Otherwise he might have keeled over and died on the spot had he been in Paris and saw the killer outfit that Isis was wearing.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 29th
2021.

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Cleopatra, Maitreya and Yaldabaoth On Saint Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, magic, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It was Saint Patrick’s Day 2021.

And Yaldabaoth was on a bridge overlooking the River Liffey in Dublin, Ireland.

The night before he had been in a psychiatrist’s office at Saint Raphael’s Hospital in London.

The session was to help him overcome his drinking problem.

But judging from the amount of Guinness he had drunk on this Saint Patrick’s Day Evening in Dublin, it was obviously going to take more than one session.

“Yaldabaoth,” the man named Peter Whitstable (whose unofficial title was the Fox Mulder of Interpol) greeted him.

“What are you doing here in Dublin?” Yaldabaoth asked, “Do you have some more cloak and dagger work for me to do?”.

The leprechaun put on a green cloak and then pulled a green jade dagger out of one of his green socks and put it in his green belt.

“As you know the past dozen years, the Irish government has become increasingly made up of Apostles of the Antichrist,” Whitstable noted.

“I imagine Saint Paddy is not too pleased with that,” Yaldabaoth drank his Guinness, “Is Harvey Tallbanger the invisible (to mortals) bunny rabbit here to throw green algae cream pies in their faces?”.

“Most likely yes to your first statement and I don’t know to your second,” Whitstable answered, “I do know most leading members of the Irish government have taken an oath of allegiance to a hidden and secret High King of Ireland.”

“And who is this hidden and secret High King of Ireland?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Maitreya a golden cobra serpent supernatural entity from the Himalayan region of Tibet and Nepal,” Whitstable replied.

“Oh yes, he did have himself crowned High King of Ireland at the Hill of Tara back on Saint Patrick’s Day in 2018,” Yaldabaoth wiped his runny nose with a green handkerchief, “I believe he had crowned Queen Cleopatra VII Philopator of Egypt (whom he had resurrected from the dead) his High Queen as well.

“Exactly,” Whitstable nodded, “Cleopatra is currently staying at a hotel here in Dublin.”

“What hotel?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“This one,” Whitstable handed the leprechaun a card with the hotel address on it, “I want you to get her photograph for my Interpol files. We do not have a photo of the living Cleopatra.”

“Seeing as how she’s been dead since the 1st Century BC and was only resurrected 4 years ago, I can see why,” Yaldabaoth nodded, “I imagine Saint Paddy is probably ticked that not only has a serpent returned to Ireland (he having driven the serpents out of Ireland) but is further ticked that a serpent has crowned himself High King of Ireland.”

“I would imagine,” Whitstable agreed.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, U.S. President Joe Beijing O’ Biden asked one of his aides why one of the White House fountains was green.

“You ordered it dyed green for Saint Patrick’s Day,” his aide answered.

“I did?” Biden scratched his head, “Is it Saint Patrick’s Day?”.

The aide nodded.

“Then why is my desk cactus dressed as Santa Claus, why is my dog dressed like the Easter Bunny and why is Hunter dressed like a crack pipe smoking Great Pumpkin?” Biden inquired.

Meanwhile back in Dublin, Ireland, Yaldabaoth entered the hotel room where Cleopatra was staying.

He carried in his hands a black and white film camera that had once belonged to film director Orson Welles when he was alive.

Yaldabaoth entered Cleopatra’s bedroom and snapped a photo.

Cleopatra the former Queen of Egypt and current High Queen of Ireland

After snapping the photo, Yaldabaoth gasped, “My God, that’s a killer outfit you’re wearing.”

He then fell over dead.

“Jesus,” an Irish Jesuit priest, who was recently defrocked by his superior for being straight and heterosexual, remarked as he walked by the open door in the hallway.

“Oh, the void, the void,” a spider, who had recently come in contact with radioactive material in a science lab, remarked as he crawled by.

“This looks like a job for Dr. Marmalade Montague and his Hendrick’s Gin Dunking Machine,” Harvey Tallbanger commented as he walked by and noticed Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun lying dead at Cleopatra’s spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes feet.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 17th
2021.

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Sophia Wants Yaldabaoth To See Dr. Adaeze Salisu

March 16, 2021 at 10:02 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Dr. Adaeze Salisu

“Who is this woman?” Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun asked his mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom, “And why are you showing me this photograph of her?”.

“I thought since you’ve been doing cloak and dagger work on behalf of Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol,” Sophia explained, “You might take more notice if a photograph was shown of her. Like the leader of the Mission Impossible team looked at photographs of people before a recording self destructed in 10 seconds.”

“Nothing is going to self-destruct around here in 10 seconds is it?” Yaldabaoth looked around the room with concern.

“Of course not,” Sophia laughed, “Anyhow, now that I’ve got your attention with that photograph, the woman is Dr. Adaeze Salisu the head of psychiatry at Saint Raphael’s Hospital in London. I want you to see her.”

“You want me to see a psychiatrist?” Yaldabaoth’s jaw dropped and a gold doubloon coin fell out of his mouth.

“About your drinking problem,” Sophia sighed, “You must admit you’ve had a severe drinking problem for centuries.”

“And why can’t I have it for several more centuries?” Yaldabaoth protested.

“You should really be doing more with your life than drinking,” Sophia looked glum.

“But like you yourself said I’ve been doing cloak and dagger work on behalf of Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol,” Yaldabaoth pointed out.

“And how has that been working out for you?” Sophia asked, “You’ve died twice when you met one of your fellow cloak and dagger secret operative associates the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka. And then on another occasion you were mooned by British Prime Minister Boris Johnson.”

“Cloak and dagger work wasn’t meant to be a bed of roses,” Yaldabaoth got the feeling he was sitting on thorns and stood up.

“Anyhow I’ve booked an appointment for you this afternoon,” Sophia smiled.

“You have?” Yaldabaoth was shocked.

Later as Yaldabaoth walked the streets of London in the direction of Saint Raphael’s Hospital, “Why would I need to see a psychiatrist?”.

He looked down an alleyway and noticed a stegosaurus sniffing a line of laundry.

“On the other hand…” Yaldabaoth took off his little green hat and scratched his head.

Later in the office of Dr. Adaeze Salisu.

Looking at Dr. Adaeze Salisu, he said, “I thought I as the patient was supposed to be the one lying on the couch while you as the psychiatrist sat on the chair.”

“I like doing things a little differently in my practice,” Dr. Adaeze Salisu smiled.

“I liked your sign on the door that said THE DOCTOR IS IN,” Yaldabaoth smiled, “I don’t suppose Psychiatric Help is still 5c like it was in the days of Charlie Brown, Lucy, Snoopy, Linus and the Peanuts gang.”

“No, I’m afraid it’s a lot more than 5c,” Dr. Salisu shook her head.

“Pity,” Yaldabaoth smiled, “I don’t suppose you have anything stronger to drink than that package of Canadian Red Rose Tea I see on your desk.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 16th
2021.

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Harvey Tallbanger, Antichrist Apostle Mario Draghi, Inanna and Ishtar

March 12, 2021 at 11:10 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Italian Prime Minister Mario Draghi announced that Italy would be under a total lockdown over the Easter weekend for the 2nd year in a row.

Before going to address a virtual press conference, Draghi unbeknownst to himself, was injected with Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Truth Serum by Harvey Tallbanger (the invisible to mortals) 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

Harvey was a Welsh pooka a mischievous supernatural creature from Welsh and Celtic folklore.

During the press conference, Italian Prime Minister Mario Draghi was asked why he decided that Easter should be cancelled for the 2nd year in a row in Italy.

“Because I’m an Apostle of the Antichrist,” Draghi (well under the influence of the Dr. Cadbury Rocher Truth Serum) replied.

As he answered, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST appeared in red and black felt ink letters on his forehead.

Draghi continued, “If we can stop the Sacrifice of the Mass from being said in Churches all over the world, this will definitely lay the foundation for the Antichrist’s imminent appearance on the world stage. Because unbeknownst to many of you, many world leaders and I worship the Antichrist in private and secret. We’ve been able to use the Wuhan CCP Virus pandemic to close Churches and stop the Sacrifice of the Mass all over the world. And it’s especially effective when you’re able to stop the Sacrifice of the Mass from being said at Christmas and Easter.””

Joe Biden was watching the Mario Draghi press conference on his TV set in the Oval Office.

He asked his marijuana pot smoking cactus plant Sweet Dementia sitting atop his Oval Office desk, “Am I one of those world leaders who secretly worship the Antichrist?”.

Because he had apparently forgotten.

“Yes,” Sweet Dementia spelled out the word in the air through her pot exhalation smoke.

“Wow, that really blows my mind,” Beijing Joe remarked, “No wonder I get along so well with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. To say nothing of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts.”

Meanwhile in the Vatican, the Sumerian goddess Inanna and her identical twin sister the Akkadian/Assyrian/Babylonian goddess Ishtar were watching the Mario Draghi press conference on the TV set in Pope Francis’ study.

They had flown to Rome with Pope Francis on his plane ride back from Iraq.

“We must stop Mario Draghi from talking,” Inanna remarked to Ishtar, “He’s blabbing too much.”

They flew (like bats out of Hell) to the site of Mario Draghi’s press conference where they knocked him out.

As Draghi lay there unconscious on the floor, he received a spaghetti and meatball laced cream pie in the face – courtesy of Harvey Tallbanger.

Inanna or Ishtar? : Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 12th
2021.

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Hera and The Gangsters

March 1, 2021 at 11:39 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Ghost Story, Mythology, Plays, Romance, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Hera starring in a 1930s Broadway play about gangsters

It was the decade of the 1930s.

And the Greek goddess Hera was honing her theatrical skills by starring in a Broadway play about gangsters.

It was dress rehearsal night – the evening before the official opening.

Hera was awaiting the arrival of the gangster boss Big Frank Malone.

A man came on stage wearing a fedora hat and gangster suit and carrying a big violin case.

Hera, speaking out of character, said, “You don’t look like John Barrymore to me.”

“I’m afraid John is a bit under the weather tonight,” the understudy replacement for John Barrymore replied.

“How many bottles did he have to drink today?” Hera asked.

“You know the real Barrymore obviously,” Dracul Van Helsing, who had time travelled from the future and was now playing the role of Big Frank Malone in this play about gangsters, replied.

“That’s funny,” the ghost of Orson Welles, who had likewise time travelled from the future, remarked as he sat in the front row, “I don’t ever recall John Barrymore starring in a play about gangsters.”

“He possibly drank before each performance and never made it to the stage,” Van Helsing noted.

“By Jove, I think you’re right,” Welles agreed.

“Please, don’t use one of my husband’s Roman names,” Hera stood up.

“I forgot,” Welles bowed, “I do apologize.”

Hera approached Van Helsing, “Well, Dracul, since you’ve come from the future to step in for the great John Barrymore, perhaps we can do an improvisational performance tonight.”

“And what improvisational performance did you have in mind?” Van Helsing inquired.

“How about making out here on the stage?” Hera smiled.

And Hera and Van Helsing did just that.

“Not again,” Welles’ ghost buried his ghostly head in his ghostly hands.

As Hera and Van Helsing made out, soon thunder and lightning flashed around the stage.

“And furthermore, I just would happen to be in the very theatre on the night the Greek god Zeus decided to attend a Broadway play,” Welles’ ghost sighed.

The next day a hangover stricken John Barrymore was asked what happened to the theatre as it lay in ruins.

“Well, I know people are once again going to say this was a hallucination brought on by too much drink on my part,” Barrymore commented, “but it was an angry and cuckholded Greek god Zeus who destroyed this theatre because his wife the Olympian queen Hera was making out with a mortal.”

The members of the New York press laughed and shook their heads.

And that was the reason history has no record of John Barrymore starring in a Broadway play about gangsters.

The ghost of radio announcer Paul Harvey appeared in front of the lightning produced charred ashes of the theatre and gave his usual radio show sign-off, “And now you know the rest of the story.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 1st
2021.

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Set Gets A Call From His Accounting Department

February 24, 2021 at 11:46 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was sitting in his study and listening to the radio.

He was once again surprised to hear his former employee and current British MP Renfield R. Renfield reading the BBC World News Report on BBC Radio.

Renfield said, “Next month on his trip to Iraq, the extremely ecumenically minded Pope Francis will be holding an interfaith religious service on top of the ancient Babylonian temple to the Mesopotamian moon god Nanna. No word yet on whether Nanna himself plans to attend the service.”

Set guffawed.

Spewing the Earl Grey tea in his mouth all the way to the far side of the study.

Renfield went on, “And in further news regarding Pope Francis, the pontiff said all journalists wishing to fly with him on his plane to and from Iraq must be vaccinated against the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus known to the world as Covid before being allowed to fly with him.
Those journalists who wish to ask him questions leading to one of his usual idiotic rambling answers must be vaccinated twice…”

The phone rang on the desk next to Set’s chair and he turned the radio off.

The vampire picked up the receiver.

It was one of those old phones that you often see in gangster movies of the 1920s and ’30s.

“Sol Invictus Set,” the vampire said giving the full name he wrote down on his British Citizenship certificate when he received British citizenship back in the 1920s.

“Hello, Mr. Set,” the voice on the other end spoke, “This is I.M. Boring from the Set Enterprises Accounting Department.”

“Oh yes, Mr. Boring,” Set yawned, “What can I do for you?”.

“We’ve noticed an expenditure claimed by one of your employees that we think you should really be concerned about,” Boring explained.

“Oh yes,” Set put down his cup of tea and proceeded to drink the entire pot of coffee on the tray next to him to keep himself awake.

“One of your employees put down as an expenditure the cost of 2002 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin over the past month,” Boring noted.

“By 2002,” Set finished the entire pot of coffee, “Do you mean the year the gin was made or the numerical amount of bottles of gin that was consumed?”.

“The numerical amount of bottles of gin that was consumed,” Boring answered.

“Jesus,” Set was fully awake now and spoke a name that probably wouldn’t be mentioned in the interfaith service atop Nanna’s temple next month, “This employee must be sent to Alcoholics Anonymous right away or face permanent termination of his employment.”

“It gets worse, Mr. Set,” Boring explained.

“It does?” Set rang the bell on his tray to summon his butler and valet Athelstan.

The billionaire vampire was going to ask his gentleman’s gentleman to bring him Set a much needed bottle of Hendrick’s Gin.

“Apparently the entire 2002 bottles of gin were consumed on two separate days,” Boring went on, “1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin consumed back on Thursday February 4th and 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin consumed 2 days ago on Monday February 22nd.”

“My God,” Set reached for a hot buttered scone, “Talk about the mother of all drinking problems. Doesn’t the said person realize that binge drinking is dangerous. He should really space out his alcohol consumption. And not do it all at one time every 3 weeks.”

“And not charge the cost of his alcohol consumption to his employer,” Boring noted.

“Indeed,” Set wholeheartedly agreed and started putting some marmalade on his hot buttered scone, “And what was the name of this employee?”.

“Dr. Marmalade Montague,” Boring answered.

Set quickly checked the brand name of his marmalade.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 24th
2021.

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Marmalade and Hendrik’s Gin Revive A Leprechaun Again

February 22, 2021 at 11:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was once again lying under a contraption invented by Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague that would pour 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin down the leprechaun’s throat that would bring him back from the dead.

A recipe written down by Asclepius (the Greek god of medicine who was killed by a thunderbolt from Zeus) that wound its way on to a late 1940s matchbook from a Cairo nightclub said that a combination of juniper, cucumber and damask rose could be used to resurrect a leprechaun from the dead.

It just so happened that the ingredients used in making Hendrick’s Gin were juniper, cucumber and damask rose.

An analysis of the leprechaun’s blood showed that he had been poisoned by a combination of champagne and Fire Salamander toxic poisoning.

According to a Facebook status post Yaldabaoth had made this past Saturday night, the leprachaun wound up hopelessly lost in the streets of London and entered a building that he thought was the Imperial Aurora Hotel where he was staying.

He went up to his hotel room floor in the elevator and when he got off the elevator, he saw that he was in fact not in a hotel but most likely in an apartment building.

He decided to check out the floor and when he got back from his rounds of the floor, he noticed a beautiful woman wearing a short skirt pointing a gun at two men and forcing them to get on the elevator with her.

The men must be gay, Yaldabaoth deduced in Sherlockian fashion, because otherwise such a woman should have absolutely no problem in getting a couple of men to get into an elevator with her.

Yaldabaoth happened to pass an apartment door that was still open.

He peered inside and happened to notice a bottle of champagne with two glasses on a small table in the middle of the room.

The leprechaun went inside and ignoring the two glasses, he drank straight from the bottle.

It was probably here that the leprechaun received his poisoning, Dr. Marmalade Montague deduced.

Someone must have added Fire Salamander poison to the bottle of champagne.

Judging from the amount of Fire Salamander poison in the champagne, this combination would have killed a mortal human within a space of 2 to 3 hours.

In Yaldabaoth’s case, being a somewhat usually immortal lepechaun, the poison didn’t kick in until 24 hours later when he entered the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka’s hotel room at the Imperial Aurora and noticed her wearing a killer mini skirt outfit.

The sudden rush of adrenaline with the combination of the champagne and Fire Salamander poison caused the leprechaun to keel over.

On the other hand as that classy and classically inclined arch villain Raymond Red Reddington once put it on an episode of The Blacklist, “Look on the bright side. At least he died with an enormous erection and a smile on his face.”

Dr. Marmalade Montague pushed a button and his contraption started pouring 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s gin down the leprechaun’s throat.

Set Enterprises’ Dr. Marmalade Montague rushes away from his Thames River bridge proposition after receiving a phone call that Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun had keeled over again.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 22nd
2021.

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Carson Cody Albion Encounters Greek Goddess Psyche In Shanghai

February 12, 2021 at 11:16 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )


The Greek goddess Psyche in Shanghai

The year was 1947.

And Los Angeles Private Eye Carson Cody Albion was pursuing an arms smuggler to Shanghai.

Albion had been hired by Howard Hughes of all people.

Howard Hughes, one evening after drinking far too much, had taken to his room what one Hughes accomplice called “the ugliest looking woman that he had ever seen”.

The “ugliest looking woman” turned out to be FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover in drag.

The equally inebriated Mr./Ms. Hoover told Hughes that there was a Hollywood film mogul that was strongly suspected of Communist sympathies.

This film mogul had paid for arms to be shipped to Mao Tse-tung’s Communist forces in China.

And an arms dealer would soon be sailing to Shanghai China from the Port of Los Angeles carrying arms to be delivered to a Mao Tse-tung associate in Shanghai.

Hughes did not trust the FBI to capture the arms dealer and his arms.

He felt leery of an agency headed by a man who dressed in drag.

So he hired Carson Cody Albion to sail aboard the ship S.S. Call of The Orient and to be on the lookout for any suspicious people who might be arms dealers.

Albion recognized a Greek importer of Persian rugs on the ship Alexander Darius and wondered why he wasn’t on the U.S. East Coast sailing a ship to Greece or Iran.

Albion suspected that Darius was the arms dealer.

Upon arrival in Shanghai, he noticed Darius had large amounts of crates delivered to a warehouse in the city.

Albion entered the warehouse and opened one of the crates.

It was full of various guns.

He alerted Shanghai Police Authorities and the warehouse was raided and the arms were seized by forces loyal to the Nationalist Kuomintang Government of China under President Chiang Kai-shek.

That night Alexander Darius visited Albion’s hotel room and labelled his room full of bullets.

It was fortunate for Albion that he wasn’t in his hotel room that night.

However the noise of the bullets disturbed the occupants of the next room to Albion’s which were a powerful Shanghai courtesan and her client.

The noise of the bullets caused the courtesan’s client to ejaculate prematurely leaving an enormous stain on the courtesan’s expensive silk sheets.

Angered the courtesan left her room and carrying her own gun encountered Alexander Darius who now stood holding an empty gun after spraying bullets around Albion’s room.

She shot Alexander Darius dead.

He wouldn’t be importing any more Persian rugs to America or exporting any more U.S. arms to China.

Meanwhile Albion had gone to a bar called The Shanghai Scorpion.

While there, he happened to glance in the direction of the lounge’s statue of Kwan Yin the Buddhist goddess of mercy and noticed a woman standing in front of the statue.

Albion recognized the woman from his Encyclopedia of Greek Mythology.

She was the Greek goddess Psyche wife of Eros/Cupid the Greco-Roman god of love (who was the son of Aphrodite/Venus).

“Aren’t you the Greek goddess Psyche?” Albion approached her with his drink in hand.

“I am,” Psyche answered.

“What are you doing here in Shanghai?” Albion asked, “So far from Greece?”.

“It’s getting close to Valentine’s Day and I’m sick of my hubby Cupid going around shooting arrows into people’s hearts,” Psyche sighed, “So I came to Shanghai to escape all his Valentine’s Day madness.”

“Can I buy you a drink?” Albion asked.

“Why not?” Psyche agreed.

After The Shanghai Scorpion Lounge closed, Albion and Psyche went back to Psyche’s hotel room.

Thus saving Albion’s life.

Of course Albion had become immortal a few years ago so the bullets of Alexander Darius might not have had an effect.

But they were silver bullets.

So then again they might have.

Still Albion got to watch the Shanghai sunrise with the Greek goddess Psyche.

The same could not be said for Alexander Darius.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 12th
2021.

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