Napoleon VI Looking For A Public Relations Coup

November 12, 2017 at 7:30 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Napoleon VI Looking For A Public Relations Coup

The kraken who called himself Napoleon VI (formerly Italian mad scientist Dr. Poseidon Prometheus who had uploaded his consciousness into the body of a cyborg octopus ๐Ÿ™- part octopus and part robot) had been moping around the house ever since he lost the 1st round of the French Presidential election this past April coming in 12th of the 12 Presidential candidates running.

His wife Medusa (the ex-Gorgon) was getting sick of his constant moping and his constant bellyaching for a bellyaching kraken is not a pleasant sight.

“Why don’t you do something concrete?” Medusa scolded as she stood in her new Christian Dior evening gown and read a new book explaining the possible whereabouts of ex-Teamsters boss Jimmy Hoffa, “Instead of constantly complaining, do something to get your name in the news. The French electorate are regretting having elected Emmanuel Macron President. Do something positive and praiseworthy and you’ll become famous and get elected President of France next time.”

“But what can I do?” Napoleon VI wondered which one of his 8 metallic tentacled arms he should use if he was ever invited to play golf with Donald Trump.

“Well, there’s talk of a possible war between Saudi Arabia ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ and Iran ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท. Why don’t you see if you can’t bring peace between the two countries? Then you’ll be hailed as the great peacemaker,” Medusa adjusted her gown.

“I suppose I could,” Napoleon VI realized he’d probably have to skip the Monte Carlo Monopoly Game Board Tournament if he were to do that.

. . .

The two Bedouins riding on their camels ๐Ÿซ through the Arabian Desert were startled to see a giant octopus ๐Ÿ™ parachuting out of a plane โœˆ๏ธ and landing on the sands not far from them.

“I say,” the Kraken Napoleon VI spoke in a Monty Python style British accent thinking that this would make him more understandable to people who only spoke Arabic, “can you direct me to Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman’s palace in Riyadh?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday November 12th
2017.

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The 100th Anniversary of The Russian Bolshevik Revolution

November 7, 2017 at 9:04 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The 100th Anniversary of The Russian Bolshevik Revolution

Renfield R. Renfield MP stood up in the British House of Commons and began his speech, “It was 100 years ago today that the Russian Bolshevik Revolution occurred when at 9:40 PM local time the cruiser gunship Aurora fired a shot at the Winter Palace in Petrograd (St. Petersburg) forcing the Provisional Government of Alexander Kerensky to surrender.
The Revolution marked the start of a century of bloodshed as Communists killed millions of people in their attempt to create a Utopia of peace, bread and prosperity.”

. . .

100 years earlier-

October 25th 1917 (on the old Julian calendar which Russia was using at the time)

November 7th 1917 (on the new Gregorian calendar which the Russian Socialist Federative Soviet Republic under Lenin would later adopt in 1918).

On the cruiser gunship Aurora, the 50-foot long Egyptian Serpent Apophis was coiled aboard deck.

Apophis who had convinced the German Kaiser Wilhelm II to smuggle Lenin back into Russia via Finland.

Apophis who had convinced the “useful idiots” in the Woodrow Wilson Administration to allow Leon Trotsky to leave the U.S. and return to Russia.

Apophis who hoped the new Red Dawn would forever block out Ra’s rising sun.

“Will anyone be able to stop this Revolution?” The Bolshevik captain of the Aurora asked.

“No,” Apophis shook his serpentine head, “it’s not likely that sometime within the next year that they’ll dig up Set from his tomb and he shall once again slay me with his giant spear like he used to do when he rode as a passenger aboard Ra’s solar barge.”

. . .

Renfield (whose code name was The Spear of Set when he worked at Set Enterprises) concluded his speech, “Vladimir Putin’s mistake in Russia is to attempt a synthesis of Imperial Czarist Russia and Soviet Stalinist Russia – a synthesis bound for failure. As with every other Hegelian synthesis in history. For as any person inclined towards sensible philosophy knows- Hegel was a pompous ass full of wind and fury whose flatulence in history will ultimately signify nothing.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 7th
2017.

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Kwan Yin In Banff National Park

September 27, 2017 at 3:41 pm (Fantasy, Folklore, Mythology, Nature, News, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Kwan Yin the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy could sense that the deer in Banff National Park were troubled by the fire in nearby Waterton Lakes National Park.

Their animal senses picked up that something was wrong.

So Kwan Yin went to Banff National Park to comfort the deer.

Kwan Yin The Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy

Kwan Yin her mercy
extends to all God’s creatures
even tiny deer

-A vampire novel chapter
and haiku
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 27th
2017.

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Dracul Van Helsing Meets The Norse Goddess Freya

September 25, 2017 at 3:27 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The results of the German national election were in.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel had won a 4th term in office.

But the far-right ultra-nationalist AfD (Alternative fur Deutschland) came in 3rd place in the number of seats they won in the German Bundestag.

The Norse goddess Freya knew this would amount to trouble.

Already the Germanic god Wotan (whose Norse name was Odin) was making plans with the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf to take advantage of AfD’s surprising showing.

Ever since the bloodshed unleashed by German leaders Kaiser Wilhelm II and Fuhrer Adolf Hitler during the 20th Century, Freya thought of herself as more a Norse goddess rather than a Germanic goddess.

Today she would be meeting with vampire hunter and MI-6 agent Dracul Van Helsing to discuss the German election result and AfD’s showing.

Given his background in investigating matters supernatural and paranormal, Dracul would take note of Freya’s knowledge of the dark supernatural forces involved in AfD’s upsurge in popularity among the German electorate.

Plus Dracul Van Helsing was friends with British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield believed to be Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II’s most favoured choice to become Prime Minister should a National Unity coalition government be formed in the Westminster Parliament.

Freya sat there waiting for him.

The Norse Goddess Freya

Dracul Van Helsing approached.

“Are you ready to get started?” Freya asked.

“Yes,” Dracul answered, “but only if you take me over your knee and spank me first.”

“All right,” Freya adjusted her gray mini dress for she had been expecting this request, “lay across my skirt and I’ll spank you.”

She had heard that Dracul had made this request of other goddesses and vampiresses before entering into delicate negotiations.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 25th
2017.

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Kwan Yin, Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield and Pope Francis

September 16, 2017 at 5:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Kwan Yin, Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield and Pope Francis

Kwan Yin stood outside the Prince of Wales Hotel on Upper Waterton Lake.

The Buddhist Goddess of Mercy was wearing a long flowing white dress.

But she was invisible to the Calgary Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ Department firefighters standing guard outside the hotel.

As the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith approached in the wind driving the fire towards the hotel, Kwan Yin stood holding a lotus flower ๐ŸŒบin her hand.

When Lilith, wind and fire got to within 100 metres of the Prince of Wales Hotel, Kwan Yin gently blew lotus petals off the lotus flower ๐ŸŒบ in the direction of Lilith, wind and fire.

Lilith immediately fell on her ass with the fire singeing the hem of her scarlet red evening dress.

“Bitch,” Lilith fumed at Kwan Yin.

“The kraken Tutsokiua must not be allowed to arise from his sleep at the bottom of Upper Waterton Lake just yet,” Kwan Yin’s voice was the supreme melody of gentleness in feminine speech.

The Buddhist Goddess of Mercy then vanished leaving Lilith to fume and smoulder along with the ashes and cinders in her hair.

. . .

North Korean despot Kim Jong-un sat in his garden surrounded by fountains, roses and piles of human skulls.

He sat on the ground in lotus position wondering how he’d ever get up again and sang a now virtually forgotten Elvis ๐Ÿ•บ Presley song from the mid-1960s,

“Tell me just how can I take this yoga serious
When all it ever gives to me is a pain in my posterior-us…”

Kim Jong-un made a mental note to himself to have his yoga instructor shot the next day.

In his right hand, he held a daisy flower.

The dictator was awaiting the arrival of Ahriman the Persian Zoroastrian god of evil.

As he waited, Kim pulled a petal off the daisy, saying about Donald Trump, “He loves me…”

Then with the next daisy petal pulled off, he’d say, “He loves me not…”

By the time Ahriman finally arrived, Kim had pulled the final petal off the daisy, “He loves me not…”

. . .

“What’s on your mind, Dracul?” The British Transhumanist Member of Parliament Renfield R. Renfield asked the Canadian vampire hunter.

“Well,” Dracul Van Helsing responded, “I was at a site last night which had a link that I clicked on and the link was to the on-line papal encyclical Laudato Si. It was getting late so I only read the first few paragraphs.
Now I’ve read many other Papal Encyclicals before- those written by Leo XIII, St. Pius X, Pope Pius XI, Pope Pius XII, St. John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI.
And I must say after reading the first few paragraphs of Pope Francis’ Laudato Si, I felt like I was reading the opening paragraphs of a badly written Grade 7 Junior High School essay rather than the opening paragraphs of a papal encyclical.”

“Maybe in Pope Francis’ case, they amount to the same thing,” Renfield suggested.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 16th
2017.

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Waterton Lakes, Wind and Fire

September 11, 2017 at 4:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Waterton Lakes, Wind ๐Ÿ’จ and Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Waterton Lakes, Wind and Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith had been regarded as a storm goddess in the nations of the ancient Middle East.

When U. S. President George W. Bush in his first inaugural address asked, “Do you not think an angel rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm?” he was referring to Lilith.

Iraqi President Saddam Hussein had recently pissed Lilith off and so had to go.

Attacks on the Twin Towers in New York would ensure an eventual U.S. invasion of Iraq and the toppling of Saddam.

Now Lilith was hoping to raise an ancient ally in North America.

A kraken at the bottom of Upper Waterton Lake in Waterton Lakes National Park in southern Alberta on the Alberta-Montana Canada-U.S. border.

The kraken’s name was Tutsokiua and had been asleep at the bottom of Upper Waterton Lake for 5000 years.

One of the ways of raising Tutsokiua was having a wildfire reach the lake where he resided.

Lilith had already caused a wildfire to burn down the Sperry Chalet in nearby Glacier National Park in Montana.

Glacier National Park had been the site of a U.S. House of Episcopalian Bishops meeting back in the mid-1960s which considered having a heresy trial for Episcopal Bishop James Albert Pike one of her most ardent and committed supporters.

The House of Bishops decided not to go through with the heresy trial but Lilith still decided to get revenge some day anyways.

It was in the dining room of the Sperry Chalet that a group of anti-Pike Anglo-Catholic Episcopal Bishops plotted their strategy.

Lilith after seducing Zeus swiped one of his lightning โ›ˆ bolts โšก๏ธ and ignited the Sprague Fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ by lightning on August 10th.

The fire spread and burnt down the Sperry Chalet (opened in 1914 by the Great Northern Railway) on August 31st.

The Kenow wildfire was Lilith’s weapon to raise the kraken Tutsokiua from the depths of Upper Waterton Lake.

After seducing Zeus again (Zeus was such an easy target ๐ŸŽฏ for her sultry sexy seductive charms), she swiped another lightning โ›ˆ bolt โšก๏ธ and started the Kenow wildfire back on September 1st with a lightning strike in the Flathead Valley just across the border from the national park in the province of British Columbia.

The fire ๐Ÿ”ฅ was spreading through the Akamina Valley and was expected to cross the Alberta-B.C. border into the Cameron Valley in Alberta’s Waterton Lakes National Park today.

Lilith who was riding in the wind ๐Ÿ’จ behind this storm (but former U.S. President George W. Bush was too busy being a spectator at NFL Football ๐Ÿˆ games to notice this time) was hoping to drive the fire towards the Prince of Wales Hotel on Upper Waterton Lake by the middle of this week.

The Prince of Wales Hotel opened in 1927 having been built by the U.S. Great Northern Railway to lure American tourists during the Prohibition era.

The hotel was named after the Prince of Wales (the future King Edward VIII) in a transparent attempt to entice him to stay in the hotel on his 1927 Canadian tour but the prince stayed at a nearby ranch instead.

Lilith felt that if the 90-year-old hotel burnt to the ground that this would generate sufficient atmospheric chaos to cause the kraken Tutsokiua to arise from his sleep ๐Ÿ˜ด at the bottom of Upper Waterton Lake.

Then burning the Prince of Wales Hotel (named after the obnoxious future King Edward VIII) to the ground would be another act of personal revenge on Lilith’s part.

Years ago when she was at a formal dinner and dance ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป in England back in the 1930s, she was expecting the Prince of Wales to ask her to dance but instead he asked that floozy Mrs. Wallis Simpson.

Hell definitely has no fury like a Lilith scorned.

As for her ardent supporter and admirer the late Episcopal bishop James Albert Pike, he was now a confirmed believer in the existence of Hell (a doctrine that he denied during his earthly lifetime).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 11th
2017.

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A Kraken Rises As A Curtain Goes Down

September 9, 2017 at 6:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

A Kraken Rises As A Curtain Goes Down

There are krakens and then there are krakens.

For example there is the Kraken who calls himself Napoleon VI.

In his mortal life, he had been Italian mad scientist Dr. Poseidon Prometheus dying from a fatal disease so he had uploaded his consciousness into the body of a cyborg octopus ๐Ÿ™- part machine and part living octopus ๐Ÿ™ (given a special serum of Kraken immortality that had been developed by Dr. Poseidon Prometheus’ British mad scientist friend Dr. Cadbury Rocher who had in his possession in a secret aquarium the Greek god Zeus’ own personal Kraken who is released into the world’s oceans ๐ŸŒŠ whenever Zeus shouts “Release the Kraken!”).

Prior to uploading his consciousness into the cyborg octopus body, Dr. Poseidon Prometheus had also placed a portion of the brain of the original French Emperor Napoleon I (that he had in his possession) into the octopus’ brain.

Dr. Poseidon Prometheus had been a big admirer of both Emperor Napoleon I and Emperor Napoleon III so wanted a piece of Napoleonic brain before venturing forth into cyborg octopus immortality.

Shortly after he became a Kraken, Napoleon VI (as he now called himself) had met and fell in love ๐Ÿ˜ with the ex-Gorgon Medusa whom Dr. Cadbury Rocher had recently revived from the dead having reunited her original head and her original body. Medusa had been restored to her original beauty after Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s robotic barber (that he called Edward Scissorhands II) had given the Gorgon’s snake ๐Ÿ ridden hairstyle ๐Ÿ’ a thorough cut and chopping.

Edward Scissorhands II had then applied a natural hair growth formula (that Dr. Cadbury Rocher had developed) to Medusa’s scalp and the now ex-Gorgon’s natural human hair grew back.

Napoleon VI had himself crowned Emperor of France ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท as the Emperor Napoleon VI in Paris’ Notre Dame Cathedral a couple of years ago with the papal blessing of Pope Francis for the coronation ceremony.

However the one hitch turned out to be that no one in France itself recognized the coronation.

To correct the situation, Napoleon VI and Medusa had started their own political party ๐ŸŽ‰ in France the Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party earlier this year.

The two member party ๐ŸŽ‰ then nominated Napoleon VI as the Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party candidate for President of France.

The plan was that when Napoleon VI was elected President of France, he’d then call a referendum asking the French people to elect him Emperor of the French.

But alas the best laid plans of Kraken and ex-Gorgon, they often go astray.

Napoleon VI wound up in 12th and last place of the 12 Presidential candidates running in the 1st round French Presidential election.

The heavy make-up wearing Emmanuel Macron then won the Presidency of France in the subsequent run-off election- a decision which the citizens of France ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท had now come to regret.

They would have been better to choose calamari with their cheese ๐Ÿง€ rather than a piece of rouge wearing white chocolate ๐Ÿซ macron.

Meanwhile over in the Caribbean, the North Korean ship The Red Scorpion ๐Ÿฆ‚ was transmitting a satellite broadcast of North Korean despot Kim Jong-un reciting aloud passages from a medieval Korean copy of The Necronomicon.

The Red Scorpion had entered the Caribbean on August 17th and had begun broadcasting aloud the Kim Jong-un oral readings from The Necronomicon (Medieval Korean edition) the same day that a then Tropical Storm โ›ˆ called Harvey had formed.

That day a Kraken called Uhluhtc had risen from the bottom of the Caribbean Sea ๐ŸŒŠ following Kim Jong-un’s readings from The Necronomicon.

Uhlucth’s thrashings had led to Harvey forming and then Irma forming and then Jose forming and then Katia forming.

And those were only from Uhlucth thrashing at the bottom of the sea.

Only the gods knew what storms would form as Uhlucth made his way to the top.

Meanwhile in Paris, the curtain came down after 30 seconds as Napoleon VI auditioned for the role of the Phantom in a Paris production of The Phantom of The Opera with the director screaming “Next!”.

Aboard the Red Scorpion, Captain Dragon Sun the ship’s head officer was watching the 1942 horror film The Cat People on his television when his phone went off.

Another Necronomicon satellite transmission from Pyongyang was coming through.

“Next!” The captain shouted to his ship’s communications officer.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 8th
2017.

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On The Beach

August 31, 2017 at 3:28 pm (Arts, Culture, Mythology, Plays, The Supernatural, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) ()

The great London stage actor Sir Carlton Hardisty sat on the North Sea beach on Norfolk’s coast.

He had spent a quiet summer with his daughter and grandchildren down in Cornwall.

And was now looking forward to the start of the West London theatre season this autumn.

Although he hadn’t quite escaped from his acting career over the summer.

They had wanted him to perform a murder in the Jamaica Inn one weekend down at that famous pub in Bodmin Moor which was the subject of Daphne du Maurier’s 1936 novel and Alfred Hitchcock’s 1939 film.

He found out that talking like Charles Laughton and not Johnny Depp didn’t make such a big hit with the younger crowd while playing the role of a Cornish cutthroat pirate.

Still he enjoyed eating the Cornish pasties after his performance.

Now that summer was winding down, he found the need to be alone.

As Greta Garbo once said, “I want to be alone.”

So he had left the Cornish coast and went in a straight northeasterly direction to the Norfolk coast.

Now he was sitting on a beach overlooking the North Sea.

He sat there wondering if he was too old to play James Bond.

It was damned inconsiderate of Daniel Craig to sign on to do another Bond picture thus robbing him of the chance to play the coveted secret agent.

Oh well, maybe he’ll end up playing an aging Captain Kirk who cries at Mr. Spock’s deathbed before he had the chance to ask Spock to march in a Gay Pride parade with him.

Hardisty looked down at the object in his hand.

It was a ship in a bottle.

Or more precisely Captain Nemo’s submarine Nautilus from Jules Verne’s novel 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.

His grandson had made it and asked his grandfather to cast the bottle adrift in the North Sea.

Inside the Nautilus submarine itself was a note written in Latin, his grandson had explained.

A message in a ship in a bottle.

Written in Latin.

Oh well, maybe Julius Caesar’s ghost will find it, Sir Carlton reflected as he threw it into the North Sea.

Otherwise the Latin message would be Greek to most people especially a Novus Ordo Catholic priest.

After he threw the bottle into the sea, a seagull circled around him flying metres above his head.

Then the seagull landed on the beach and circled around him walking in the sand.

Then it flew away squawking.

The whole scene reminded him of Nina’s line from Anton Chekhov’s play The Sea Gull, “You speak in symbols.”

Speaking of Chekhov, maybe he could ask the Starship Enterprise’s navigator to march in a Gay Pride parade with him now that Spock was dead, Sir Carlton Hardisty thought aloud reverting to character as an aging Captain James Tiberius Kirk with emphasis on his middle name.

30 metres from shore, the Greek god of the sea Poseidon stood with his head just above the waves picking his nose with his trident.

“Puck was right,” Poseidon puckered as he picked, “What fools these mortals be.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 31st
2017.

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The Entity/Being In The Painting/From The Painting

August 21, 2017 at 3:33 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The great South African artist SAREJESS looked at some of the paintings he had painted the past couple of months.

Paintings based on dreams and visions he had had.

A grandfather clock with pendulum surrounded with ancient Egyptian markings.

A large hourglass filled with sand on a sandy beach that was turned over again by mermaids in the surging tide.

A sundial that was able to operate in the moonlight at night in the courtyard of an ancient Egyptian palace.

A lovely blonde working girl in the Wild West who wore a beautiful vintage railway watch on a chain worn down the cleft between her magnificent pair of knockers in a low-cut blouse.

A cuckoo clock that had a cuckoo bird bearing the face of Orson Welles as Harry Lime the Thrid Man coming out of it followed by a cuckoo bird bearing the face of an older looking Orson Welles as an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh coming out of it.

A giant hamster standing atop the clock tower of Big Ben.

A ship of the Greek god Hades sailing on the sea that he painted first and later had a dream about.

Another dream with the clock tower of Big Ben sending out a searchlight signal advertising the 1001 positions of the Kama Sutra. Also in the dream and the painting were the TARDIS phone booth from the Dr. Who TV series and the vintage railway watch on a chain down her knockers wearing blonde Serena (now dyed a redhead) wearing a sexy red dress and standing in the snow with two weapons in her hands blasting away at a group of North Korean Army soldiers.

Now last night SAREJESS had another dream.

What he knew was the final dream.

And the final painting of this particular series of paintings.

He painted a picture of an ancient Egyptian wearing white high priestly robes and carrying a scroll in his right hand.

Only this Egyptian high priestly figure had the head of an African sacred ibis bird rather than a human head.

The ibis headed ancient Egyptian figure was followed by a group of baboons.

In the dream, the baboons (following the figure) could talk and were saying prayers of thanksgiving that they were not red spider monkeys.

In the background was Donald Trump shampooing his hair.

SAREJESS recognized the being/entity that he had just painted- the Egyptian high priestly robed figure with a scroll in his hand and the head of an ibis on his head- Thoth.

Thoth the Egyptian god.

Thoth the god of wisdom, writing, counting and medicine.

Thoth the god of magic.

Thoth the scribe and messenger of the gods.

Thoth the creator of hieroglyphs.

The author of Egypt’s sacred laws.

The recorder of the eternal verdict on a deceased person’s heart.

Thoth the god of intelligence, thought, logic and reason.

Thoth the god of the moon.

In fact in many ancient Egyptian paintings, Thoth was often depicted with a lunar disc over his head.

Thoth was known as “The Heart of Ra”, “The Measurer of Time” and “The Master of the Words of God”.

His silver barque transported the souls of the dead across the night sky.

Thoth, to SAREJESS’ amazement, moved in the painting and boarded his silver barque.

Then Thoth walked straight out of the painting carrying the small silver barque (that SAREJESS had just painted) with him.

A blank figure in the painting now stood where Thoth had just walked out.

Thoth then left SAREJESS’ studio carrying the silver barque with him.

“Tim,” his wife Winnie called to him from the kitchen, “who was that very odd looking gentleman who just walked out of your studio? Is he going to buy a painting?”.

“No, dear, I don’t think so,” SAREJESS answered.

Thoth walked down to the beach at Port Elizabeth still carrying the small silver barque with him.

As soon as Thoth put the barque in the salt waters of the Indian Ocean, it grew to life size.

Thoth then boarded the barque and sailed straight up into the sky.

His lunar disc silver barque then sailed but this time it was not the night sky that Thoth transported the souls of the dead across.

It was the day time sky across America from Lincoln City Oregon down to Charleston South Carolina.

And many people saw the ancient Egyptian moon god Thoth’s total eclipse of the sun.

. . .

As Bonnie Tyler stood in front of a statue of the Egyptian sun god Ra singing the song “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set awakened in his sarcophagus in London in a sweat (and he hadn’t been down to the gym in millennia).

He motioned for his valet and butler Athelstan to bring him his Hugh Hefner like red velvet smoking jacket and his pipe.

As he sat there smoking, he said quietly, “Thoth has returned. Now many people will start returning from the dead.”

. . .

Now down at the Set Enterprises’ laboratory, Set’s long dead (since 1924) fiancee Serena opened her eyes.

The Time Traveler’s soul had returned to her earthly body.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 21st
2017.

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A Timely Showdown In The Klondike

August 19, 2017 at 3:14 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , )

North Korean despot Kim Jong-un and his British House of Lords member Communist adviser Lord Byron Jennings had been working on another angle to destroy America besides nuclear weapons and the intercontinental ballistic missile program.

The idea was to send a 100,000 man North Korean Army with advanced weaponry, machine guns and tanks back in time and conquer America in the days when America did not have such weapons.

They sent their good friend Ares the Greek god of War to the Underworld to consult with Saturn/Cronus the Titan god of time on how this could be possible.

Saturn/Cronus told Ares that his reign was of course the Golden Age prior to being overthrown by his son Zeus/Jupiter.

And ever since, Saturn explained, he always had a hankering for gold.

In fact he had been building himself a small portal through time to reach Dawson City Yukon in the year 1897 at the height of the Klondike Gold Rush.

Saturn was still trying to figure out how to leave Tartarus (“that 3-headed dog Cerberus is a real pain in the ass namely because that’s where he always bites me” – Saturn/Cronus said half in Latin and half in Greek) but Ares was welcome to take the portal to Kim Jong-un and see what he could do with it on the promise that once Kim Jong-un had invaded and conquered America, he would then invade and conquer the Realm of Hades and release him the Tartarus imprisoned Saturn/Cronus (for the Titan had it on good authority that the United States of America was the gateway to Hell on Earth).

“How will I be able to carry this portal?” Ares asked Saturn looking at the large astral laser holographic rotating tunnel.

Saturn/Cronus started singing a Latin and Greek version of that old Jim Croce song “If I could save time in a bottle…’

The large astral laser holographic rotating tunnel portal then shrank to a very small size.

Saturn then reached for a bottle of The Kraken Black Spiced Rum, took the top off, said in a loud voice “Release the Kraken!” and then proceeded to empty the liquid contents of the bottle down his throat.

Saturn then instructed Ares to put the shrunken rotating portal vortex into the empty bottle and take it back to Kim Jong-un with the following instructions…

Ares told Kim Jong-un that he’d only be able to send a small group of men back in time to the Klondike in the year 1897- a group of 5000 men.

And then once they had secured the area of the spatial/temporal location of the portal, it would be possible to send more men- like Kim’s envisioned 100,000 man army.

The 100,000 man army could then march from the Klondike to Alaska and take it over.

Then board ships heading further south and take over the U.S. mainland.

Thus North Korea would be able to successfully conquer America in the late 1890s and not have to resort to nuclear weapons.

Ares then poured the rotating vortex out of the empty bottle of The Kraken Black Spiced Rum.

The astral laser holographic rotating tunnel portal then expanded to its original size.

Kim Jong-un then called for the leader of the 5000 men who would initially be sent back in time- a man by the name of Sum Yung Fuul.

Sum Yung Fuul was a big fan of the Jack London novels The Call of the Wild and White Fang and would use his knowledge of both books to find his way around the Klondike in that time period once there.

Sum Yung Fuul and his 4,999 men then walked into the rotating vortex singing the North Korean National Anthem which Lord Byron Jennings played on his theremin.

Sum Yung Fuul and his men then arrived in the Klondike on Thursday December 23rd 1897.

December 23rd of course was the last day of the ancient Roman Festival of the Saturnalia (which began on December 17th and ended on December 23rd) and it was for that reason that Saturn had chosen this date for which the rotating portal would land at the height of the Saturnalia festival.

Sum Yung Fuul and his men then walked out from the forest in which they landed and entered Dawson City.

While walking through Dawson City they encountered a blue box in the middle of the main street that said in large letters at the top just below a shining lantern POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX.

“Did they have public pay phone booths in the Klondike in 1897?” A young lieutenant asked Col. Sum Yung Fuul.

“I don’t think so,” Sum Yung Fuul replied.

He hadn’t recalled Jack London mentioning it in his books.

Another young lieutenant was about to say that it looked a lot like the TARDIS from the Doctor Who television series on BBC One but didn’t when he remembered that it was only Kim Jong-un who was allowed to watch decadent Western world TV shows and movies in the Hermit Kingdom.

If he were to open his mouth, he’d be shot by firing squad.

So he didn’t open his mouth.

The men then proceeded into the forest on the other side of Dawson City.

The lieutenant looked at his compass.

“We’ve almost got this spatial/temporal location for the portal secured, sir,” the lieutenant said to Sum Yung Fuul.

Just then a woman appeared in front of them out of nowhere.
Steampunk Klondike Serena of The Snows

The redheaded red dress woman (who was in fact the blonde Steampunk time traveler Serena who had dyed her hair red for this occasion since she’d be dealing with fighters in a Communist army) fired from both of the weapons she carried in her hands.

Like the TARDIS phone booth on Dawson City’s main street which was bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, each weapon that Serena held in her hand contained 100,000 rounds of ammunition each.

She blew all 5000 men away to Hermit Kingdom come.

She then blew into each weapon and put each one back into her side holsters on either side of her sexy red skirt.

The North Korean invasion of America in the late 1890s had been nipped in the bud before it even began.

Meanwhile Donald Trump tweeted,

@realDonaldTrump Just had a vision of a woman named Serena. Lovely lady. I wonder who she is?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 17th
2017.

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