The Feast of The Beast 2023
Back in 1955 the Greek goddess Artemis was in possession of the silver arrow of Chiron the centaur
Attending a Chiron the Centaur exhibit at the British Museum in March 1955, the Greek goddess Artemis had the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur in her purse.
Artemis exited her vehicle to walk to the British Museum.
A female Soviet KGB agent who was a master pickpocket stole the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur.
It was taken to Moscow where it was placed in the KGB Archives but lost by one KGB Archivist Harry Wooismeovich.
For his efforts, Harry Wooismeovich was shot by firing squad under orders by Nikita Khrushchev.
Harry Wooismeovich’s last words were “Oh, who’s Winston Churchill?” in answer to a British government telegram for clemency and “Woo is me!” in answer to being shot.
The silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur was thus lost to history.
Causing the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit to face a dilemma on March 23rdrd 2023.
Every March 23rd was the Feast of The Beast for some dark magic practicing occultic secret societies.
Among the dark deities venerated by these occultic secret societies was Apophis the Egyptian god of chaos and darkness.
Once long ago in the mists of antiquity it was the case that every night Apophis would attack the solar barge of Ra the Egyptian god of light and the sun.
The Egyptian god Set would come to Ra’s aid every night and defeat Apophis.
In those days Set was considered a hero and a good guy.
He only became a villain to history after cutting up his brother Osiris into 14 pieces (even though Osiris was the Egyptian Justin Trudeau of his day and most likely deserved what he got).
Miranda Singh of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had discovered that one dark magic occultic secret society would be sacrificing a ghost of all things on this particular Feast of the Beast.
And the ghost would be sacrificed down in Cornwall to prevent a descendant of King Arthur from rising to power on the world stage and instead allow a descendant of Mordred to rise to power on the world stage.
King Arthur had been born at Tintagel Castle in Cornwall and the sacrifice of the ghost would be performed at Tintagel Castle.
A ghostly sacrifice rather than a human sacrifice was necessary to enact a major geopolitical event.
And the ghost chosen for the Tintagel Castle Cornwall sacrifice was none other than the ghost of Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander who was a personal friend of Sherrielock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes’ quite literally immortal twin sister), Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Orson Welles.
Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander had been waylaid in London’s Highgate Cemetery last night by Persephone the Greek goddess of the Underworld and a rag tag group of Breton korrigans.
The ghostly sacrifice would be performed by a demon possessed elk who had been given as a gift to Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby by the U.S. Federal Cabinet of Joe Biden in appreciation for his support of gay and transgender rights.
Apparently the only way of slaying a demon possessed elk was to kill it with a silver arrow.
After a brief meeting of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit in which the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds (the Anglo-Catholic Vicar of St. Genevieve’s Church in West London and the Church of England’s leading exorcist who tried to exorcise Italian historian Roberto de Mattei the only known person (so far) to have become demonically possessed as a result of receiving the DeathVaxx vaccine) served as an advisor, it was agreed that the most effective way of slaying this demonically possessed elk was to use the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur.
Which was lost to history.
So Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles using the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern projector went back in time to steal the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur from the Greek goddess Artemis before Nikita Khrushchev’s acclaimed pickpocket female KGB agent had the chance to do so.
Dracul saw Artemis exiting her vehicle on the night of the Chiron the Centaur Exhibit at the British Museum:
Van Helsing immediately grabbed the arrow.
Artemis said, “Dracul, how dare you steal the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur?”.
She immediately grabbed Van Helsing, took him over her knee and spanked him.
While being spanked, Dracul threw the silver arrow to the ghost of Orson Welles who went forward in time to the place of Tintagel Castle in Cornwall on the night of Thursday March 23rd 2023.
Van Helsing then made love 💕 to the Greek goddess Artemis on the large luxurious back seat of the classic 1950s era vehicle.
After goddess and vampire hunter had finished rocking the vehicle, Dracul went forward in time to Tintagel Castle in Cornwall on the night of Thursday March 23rd 2023.
He grabbed his crossbow and the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur from the ghost of Orson Welles.
The Celtic stag god Cernunnos had already been killing with his crossbow and silver arrows various supernatural entities participating in the ceremony.
For reasons known only to himself, the Celtic stag god did not wish to see a descendant of Mordred ascend to power on the world stage.
The demon possessed elk was raising the supernatural sword 🗡️ Excalibur above the ghostly spectral salamander throat of Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander.
Both Cernunnos and Van Helsing fired their crossbows at the same time.
After a silver arrow pierced the demon possessed elk’s throat, the elk said in Latin in Shakespearian Julius Caesar like fashion, “And thou, Cernunnos? Or was it thou, Dracul?.”
Even Cernunnos’ PH Unbalanced hairstylist didn’t know for sure.
Thus it was a question/answer never asked on the Canadian-American game show ghost host Alex Trebek’s TV program Jeopardy in the Elysian Fields of the Realm of the Underworld.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 23rd
2023.
Persephone Meets Belvedere
Persephone the Greek goddess of the Underworld in London’s Highgate Cemetery
Persephone the Greek goddess of the Underworld was in London’s Highgate Cemetery for reasons known only to herself.
Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander (who was a reporter for the Times of London) was walking through the cemetery.
Belvedere had once been human.
He had been a deserter from the Confederate Army during the U.S. Civil War, became an outlaw in the Wild West for many years and then worked as a bartender in the Wild West saloon known as the Wild Tomatoes 🍅 and Mushrooms Saloon.
The saloon had been owned by Sherrielock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes’ twin sister who became immortal after eating some Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms) when she lived in the American Wild West.
One night Belvedere had slept with a working girl who had a room in the saloon.
He refused to pay her for her services.
It turned out she was a gypsy enchantress as well so she turned Belvedere into a Ghost White Salamander (of the sort that reveals itself to Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith Jr. in Smith’s first and original telling of the find of the Golden Tablets. Later the Ghost White Salamander became Jesus Christ and then God the Father and Jesus Christ and then finally the angel Moroni in Smith’s subsequent retellings of the story).
Having become a Ghost White Salamander, Belvedere quickly ran out into the street outside the saloon where he was promptly run over by a settlers’ covered wagon heading west and thus ended up becoming the ghost of a Ghost White Salamander.
After a long and varied ghostly haunting of this planet Earth, Belvedere was now a reporter for The Times of London.
He was currently wandering through London’s Highgate Cemetery.
He thought of finding where Karl Marx was buried.
He looked around and saw a bunch of Crosses on gravestones and deduced he must be in the Christian part of Highgate Cemetery.
It was highly unlikely that a Jewish publicly proclaimed atheist who privately wrote love poems to the Devil whom he called Oulanem (which was a 19th Century occultic secret society name for the Devil) like Karl Marx would be buried in the Christian portion of Highgate Cemetery.
Belvedere was walking along on his tiny white spectral ghostly amphibian legs when he suddenly saw the Greek goddess Persephone in the clearing.
There was a full moon behind her.
Belvedere checked his calendar on his ghostly miniature spectral Apple Watch ⌚️.
He didn’t think there was supposed to be a full moon 🌕 tonight and indeed there wasn’t supposed to be.
It was supposed to be the start of the Islamic month of Ramadan after all.
Persephone smiled at him.
“Belvedere,” she said to him and then zapped him with a laser ray that shot out of the long black fingernail on the middle finger of her left hand.
The ghost of the Ghost White Salamander was knocked unconscious.
Persephone directed some Breton korrigans to pick up up the ghostly spectral body of the Ghost White Salamander and carry him to Cornwall.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 22nd
2023.
Aphrodite Spanks


The Greek goddess Aphrodite
Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun 🍀 had just stolen a bottle of ambrosia on Mount Olympus.
Of course the leprechaun ☘️ was already immortal.
He just liked drinking ambrosia for the taste.
After knocking out Ganymede (male cupbearer to the gods of Olympus) with a sleeping potion and getting his friend Dracul Van Helsing to make out with Hebe (female cupbearer to the gods) to distract her, the little leprechaun 🍀 ☘️ helped himself to a bottle of ambrosia from the Mount Olympus cupboard.
As he walked by Aphrodite’s room, he saw her looking like this:
So naturally he entered.
“You little thief,” Aphrodite said to the leprechaun 🍀 ☘️ when she noticed the bottle of ambrosia in his hand.
She took Yaldabaoth over her knee and spanked him.
Yaldabaoth walked away from Mount Olympus rubbing a sore bottom and minus the bottle of ambrosia.
Hebe suddenly walked past Aphrodite’s room with an ecstatic smile on her face.
Seconds later Dracul Van Helsing walked by Aphrodite’s room with an ecstatic smile on his face.
The Greek goddess of love ❤️ quickly deduced in Sherlockian fashion what had transpired between the two.
So she grabbed Dracul Van Helsing, brought him into her room, took him over her knee and spanked him.
They then made love together.
Meanwhile in London, British MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked to the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill, “Dracul doesn’t seem to be answering his cell phone.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 20th
2023
Greek Goddess Aphrodite On A Train Plus 10th Anniversary of Pope Francis’ Election
The Greek goddess Aphrodite was riding a train to eventually get to Glastonbury Abbey.
The Greek goddess Aphrodite had a heard a tale currently circulating among some gods and goddesses that a descendant of King Arthur would someday be the Emperor of a revived Holy Roman Empire.
She endeavoured to look into the matter and decided to start by going to Glastonbury Abbey the alleged burial place of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere of Camelot.
Glastonbury Abbey was also believed to be close to the mythical mystical isle of Avalon where according to another legend King Arthur was just asleep 😴 💤 and resting and waiting to someday reign again on the throne of Britain.
Something that no doubt would come as a severe shock to His Majesty King Charles III if it were to happen in his lifetime.
It turns out Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was also riding this train because he had heard that the evil vampire Toulouse La Track (a vampire who rode aboard British Railway trains 🚊 and sucked the blood 🩸 of beautiful young women while showing them sketches for his paintings 🖼️ ) was aboard this train.
Dracul found Toulouse La Track’s cabin and killed him by staking him through the heart.
If Dracul had not staked and killed Toulouse La Track, the train’s conductor would have most likely done so as this would have been the 72nd time that the vampire 🧛♂️ had been caught riding without a bought and paid for British Rail ticket.
Dracul then set out to find his own train compartment.
He opened one door and saw Aphrodite:
Naturally Dracul Van Helsing being Dracul Van Helsing made out with her.
The ghost of Orson Welles walked in on the scene of the divine climax.
“Holy orgasm, Batman!” Said Welles’ ghost who had binge watched episodes of the 1960s American TV series Batman the night before.
. . .
“So he came with the king’s mandate, bringing nothing worthy of the high priesthood, but having the fury of a cruel tyrant, and the rage of a savage beast.”
-II Maccabees 4:25
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing his Monday night podcast on this evening of March 13th 2023, “Today is the 10th anniversary of the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio being elected to the throne of Peter…”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 13th
2023.
Koridwen, Churchill and The Miraculous Bottle of Brandy
Koridwen was the Mother of the Korrigans that race of supernatural creatures who were magical dwarves and lived underground in Brittany.
Koridwen was the wife of Hu-Ar-Braz the first of the Druids.
Her youngest son was the first of the korrigans.
Called Taliesen the Bard in Welsh and Cornish mythology.
In the 1950s, the ghost of Marshal Philippe Petain (the Chief of State of Vichy France) was granted a dispensational release from the underworld by Hades.
The request for Marshal Petain’s release was made by the Norse god Odin/Germanic god Wotan for reasons known only to that deity.
Anyhow Marshal Petain set out to bump off Winston Churchill at Christmas 1954.
Churchill was kept alive by a bottle of very good tasting brandy that had been mixed with water from a spring at Walsingham England the site of a miraculous Marian apparition in the mid-11th Century known as Our Lady of Walsingham.
The bottle was quite tall.
And finally ran out in late January of 1965 at which time Churchill died.
Churchill only sipped from that bottle when he thought his life was in mortal danger.
Marshal Petain’s ghost was able to convince Taliesen the first korrigan to steal that bottle of brandy as a Christmas present from the ghosts of Vichy France and the Third Reich to Winston Churchill at Christmas 1954.
No one was quite sure how in the mists of history of the 1950s that Taliesen returned that bottle to Churchill.
However evil scientists working at CERN in the year 2023 decided to try a time travel experiment.
Billionaire eugenicist Bill Gates had become aware that a nuclear ☢️ world war in the mid-1950s would prevent the world population from reaching the 9 billion people mark in the early 21st Century (a number that the racist and crypto-Nazi son of a Freemason hated).
So therefore the time travel experiment prevented Taliesen from returning that bottle to Churchill at Christmas 🎄 1954.
And thus Churchill wasn’t alive to give Anthony Eden advice in the Suez Crisis of 1956 asking the then British Prime Minister Anthony Eden to stand down and prevent the Suez Crisis from breaking out into World War III.
British MP Renfield R. Renfield became aware of the Bill Gates-CERN plot and sent Dracul Van Helsing back in time to Christmas 1954 using the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern as an instrument of time travel.
Dracul wasn’t sure of how to track down Taliesen the first korrigan.
But he was able to track down Koridwen the wife of Hu-Ar-Braz (the first of the Druids) and the mother of Taliesen the first of the korrigans.
Naturally Van Helsing made out with Koridwen.
And Koridwen convinced her son Taliesen to give back the miraculous bottle of brandy to Churchill.
Thus Churchill was still alive during the Suez Crisis to give his successor Anthony Eden much needed advice to prevent the Suez Crisis from turning into a nuclear ☢️ World War III.
“Well it’s nice to see Van Helsing’s sex addiction is good for something,” Renfield commented when informed what had happened.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 10th
2023.
Greek Goddess Hera Expresses Her Concern Over The Russia-Ukraine War
Greek goddess Hera On Mount Olympus
The Greek goddess Hera was looking very contemplative as she stood atop the balcony of her home on Mount Olympus.
“A silver drachma coin for your thoughts,” Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing commented as he stepped on to the balcony.
“Dracul, what are you doing here?” Hera was shocked.
“The ghost of a ghost white salamander told me that you were feeling distressed about something so I came as quickly as I could,” Dracul replied.
“Yes, I’m distressed by this Russia-Ukraine War,” Hera stated.
“So are many mortals and immortals,” Dracul noted.
“The thing is my husband Zeus says he’s now going to actively fight in the war alongside the Russians,” Hera’s eyes flashed, “He’s going to openly throw thunderbolts against the Ukrainians.”
“That will certainly take the war in a whole new direction,” Van Helsing commented as he raised his crossbow and fired a silver arrow killing the eagle 🦅 that fed on Prometheus’ liver.
“Your arrow was able to reach the Caucasus Mountains 🏔️ ⛰️ ?” Hera raised an eyebrow.
“I have a very long arrow,” Dracul confessed.
The recently slain eagle 🦅 told Cerberus upon his arrival in the Underworld, “It was a blessing in disguise. I was getting sick of eating liver every day.”
“Why is Zeus so blatantly going to help the Russians?” Van Helsing inquired.
“Because he just found out that the Norse god Odin/Germanic god Wotan is helping the Ukrainians,” Hera replied.
“That’s right,” Dracul nodded, “Odin/Wotan is in disguise 🥸 as the NATO German General Wolfgang Vulkan.”
“So an open war between two kings of ancient pantheons will be a disaster for the planet,” Hera pointed out.
As there was not much the pair could do about the simmering conflict at the moment, Hera and Van Helsing decided to make out then and there.
At that moment, Zeus was at the front door of his Olympian mansion having just arrived home from the thunderbolt ⚡️ factory 🏭.
Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec and The Death of Josef Stalin
The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec
It was 70 years ago yesterday on March 5th that Soviet dictator Josef Stalin kicked the bucket 🪣🦶 (Stalin having croaked 🐸 on March 5th 1953).
The only Canadian in mourning at the time was Pierre Elliot Trudeau.
Present at the death of Josef Stalin was the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.
Qonzilqointec was present at Stalin’s death because she had been present at the death of Stalin’s enemy Leon Trotsky in Mexico City in August 1940.
On August 20th 1940 Trotsky had been given a blow to the head by an ice pick wielded by a Spanish Stalinist agent Ramon Mercader.
Trotsky died a day later on August 21st 1940.
Or at least that had been the story given to the world.
In reality Trotsky had been turned into a vampire by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec on that date.
Qonzilqointec had done so at the request of a friend of hers the Mexican artist Diego Rivera.
Diego Rivera had told the Aztec Vampiress that Trotsky was a nice guy so she turned him into a vampire.
Trotsky changed his name to Lev Tomi and started working as a bureaucrat at the UN.
He eventually became Secretary-General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change back in 1993.
In 2021, Joe Biden named Tomi the unofficial Chief of Staff of The U.S. Armed Forces.
Last year in 2022, Lev Tomi/Leon Trotsky was named Commander of NATO Forces in Eastern Europe.
Where he would challenge Vladimir Putin’s plans to re-establish a Neo-Czarist Russian Imperial Empire.
On March 1st 1953, Qonzilqointec had flown to Moscow when her sources told her that Stalin was on the verge of kicking the bucket.
There she tormented the Soviet dictator with promises of vampiric immortality.
On March 5th 1953 as Stalin was about to go screaming 😱 into that not-so good (for him) night, Qonzilqointec smiled, bared her vampiric fangs and said, “Just joking.”
Stalin swore an obscenity at her.
Qonzilqointec said, “Remember the Ukrainian kulak farmers who died in the Holodomor of 1932-33.”
Stalin kicked the bucket.
He paid Soviet rubles to the ferryman Charon to ferry him across the Rivers Styx and Acheron.
Charon swore at him for paying in such a currency.
Cerberus escorted Stalin to his rotating roasting barbecue spit down in Tartarus.
In the decade of the 2010s, Stalin was given a dispensational release from Hades along with Adolf Hitler at the request of World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab who was working on a synthesis of Stalinism and Nazi Fascism to bring about a totalitarian One World Government by the year 2030.
A lot had happened in 70 years.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 6th
2023.
Greek Goddess Hera Awaits New Year’s Eve
Le₱ardia Marango In Kiev
The last thing he saw before he felt a konk on the head and everything went dark.
Renfield’s Thursday December 8th ₱odcast
Dracul Van Helsing 
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