Reblog of La Coco Mojo Trobada

October 14, 2018 at 10:46 pm (Folklore, Literature, Mythology, Poetry, The Occult, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , )

David Redpath makes it with a succubus who’s a daughter of Cernunnos the Horned God in Celtic mythology.

As Pope Francis might put it, you can’t keep a good Stang down.

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Pan Goatee Beheads More Fat Ugly Blimps, Putin’s Latvian Victory and Atlantis Discovered

October 6, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Science-Fiction, The Occult, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee Beheads More Fat Ugly Blimps, Putin’s Latvian Victory and Atlantis Discovered

DARPA contract assassin and genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee decided to visit a McDonald’s restaurant he hadn’t been to for a while.

He hoped that there would be no fat ugly blimps in there who would ruin his appetite.

Pan ordered the Big Mac combo and after eating it, lo and behold a couple of extremely repulsively ugly fat ugly Caucasian blimps entered the restaurant and went and sat like elephants in a booth not far from him.

After throwing up all over Ontario Premier Doug Ford (who was in Calgary to attend an Axe The Carbon Tax rally), he said to the Premier now sporting a 🤮 green (formerly black) t-shirt that said JUST SAY NO TO THE CARBON TAX, Pan said to Ford, “You really should have a t-shirt that says JUST SAY NO TO FAT UGLY BLIMPS. Fat ugly blimps are more of a threat to the world’s existence and future survival than a carbon tax is.”

Goatee after redecorating the colour of Doug Ford’s t-shirt then walked over and beheaded the two fat ugly blimps.

Krampus the 2nd arrived on the scene to cut up the two fat ugly blimps into 666 quadrillion pieces and then put them into environmentally unfriendly plastic garbage bags, pour gasoline on them and then burn down a drug dealer’s house with them.

Goatee then tried to enjoy the rest of his Coca-Cola but then another fat ugly white blimp came and sat directly in front of him.

Goatee then threw up all over Alberta’s Provincial Education Minister David Eggen a member of the NDP cabinet and therefore a supporter of the carbon tax.

“I have to be fair to both sides of this question,” Goatee remarked when he had finished vomiting 🤮.

Goatee then went over and beheaded this third fat ugly white blimp.

Once again Krampus the 2nd arrived on the scene and performing his usual déjà vu modus operandi that he had been taught by Pan Goatee eventually set another drug dealer’s house on fire with fat ugly blimp remains (for as David Bowie noted, “You can’t put out fire 🔥 with gasoline ⛽️ “).

Nero’s ghost played on his violin 🎻, “Burn baby burn. Disco inferno…” as the house burnt to the ground although this drug dealer’s house was no New York City Studio 54.

. . .

Meanwhile over in Riga, Latvia 🇱🇻 the pro-Russia party Harmony won the most votes 🗳 in today’s Latvian general election.

What probably sealed the pro-Russia Harmony party’s victory was the recent visit of Pope Francis to Latvia 🇱🇻 two weeks ago.

Pope Francis was denounced as a “disciple of the Devil” by Russian 🇷🇺 President Vladimir Putin in a speech to servicemen and sailors at a Russian naval shipyard last year.

After seeing Pope Francis in person so recently, the Latvian people no doubt reached the conclusion that Putin was correct in his assessment and decided to vote for the pro-Russia Harmony party.

. . .

Meanwhile over in the Atlantic Ocean, the French marine biologist, marine archaeologist and oceanographer Louis Alphonse Cousteau’s older brother Toulouse Cousteau had just discovered the lost continent of Atlantis (as his younger brother Louis Alphonse had just discovered the lost continent of Lemuria in the South Pacific a couple of weeks ago).

Both Cousteau brothers were great nephews of the famous 20th Century French oceanographer Jacques Cousteau.

And both Cousteau brothers had used the geographic coordinates used in a 36-page letter that Nikola Tesla had written in the early 1940s to FDR’s 2nd Vice-President Henry A. Wallace containing the mystical visions of a Croatian Austrian German woman mystic Maria Orsic (whom Tesla described as the true love of his life) on the destruction and locations of both Lemuria and Atlantis to find both lost continents respectively.

Toulouse Cousteau sat aboard his vessel The Calypso Beat (a former Venezuelan oil tanker) and toasted his find with a glass of British Columbia Okanagan Valley Red Wine 🍷.

The lost continent of Atlantis beneath the Atlantic waves 🌊.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 6th
2018.

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Brisbane’s Archbishop Coleridge and The Slaughter of The Albatrosses

October 3, 2018 at 10:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Humour, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Brisbane’s Archbishop Coleridge and The Slaughter of The Albatrosses

At the Vatican in Rome, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was still in heavenly bliss after spending a night making out with the Vampiress Allatallahbel’s astral body twin double the succubus Asherah who was wearing a sexy nun’s outfit of veil, short skirted habit mini dress and black silk pantyhose.

Pope Francis was still vomiting 🤮 Gadarene pigs’ feet.

He got a Get Well card from Kwan Yin the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy which gave him a recipe for a Korean pork dish with the inscription, “Try this. Korean pork is a lot healthier and less demonically possessed than Gadarene pork.”

At Brisbane in Australia 🇦🇺 meanwhile the pervert friendly and demon worshipping Roman Catholic Archbishop Mark Coleridge was having a dream where he was dressed as an ancient mariner and slaying albatrosses with a cross bow left, right and center.

A group of angry sailors angry that their ship had crashed on the rock as a result of Archbishop Coleridge slaying so many albatrosses ripped the gold pectoral Cross off from around his neck and put a necklace of albatrosses around his neck.

The Archbishop’s gods Baal and Baphomet appeared to him and said they actually preferred the necklace of albatrosses around his neck rather than the Cross.

Archbishop Coleridge went into a pub and downed several pitchers of Carlton Draught.

After doing so, the Archbishop went into a reception hall and stopped a wedding guest from entering the hall in order to tell him his story of the slaughter of the albatrosses.

The wedding guest punched Archbishop Coleridge and sent him flying across 3 oceans into a British Premier League football ⚽️ stadium.

The Archbishop decided to become a hawker of goods in the stadium and went around shouting “Albatross! Albatross!”.

“What does it taste like?” asked a spectator.

“How do I know what it tastes like?” The Archbishop retorted angrily, “It tastes like bloody sea bird bloody flavour.”

“Do you get wafers with it?” The spectator asked.

“Of course you don’t get bloody wafers with it,” Archbishop Coleridge answered as Communion wafers fell out of his ass by the truck load.

“All right, I’ll take that one then,” the spectator paid the Archbishop and the Archbishop ripped the selected albatross off his necklace of albatrosses and gave it to the man.

Archbishop Coleridge was then attacked by a zombie 🧟‍♂️ Norwegian Blue parrot tired of pining for the fjords and so brought back from the dead.

The Archbishop fell from the stands on to the field.

On the field, he was set upon and choked to death by a python 🐍 named Monty.

After kicking the bucket, Archbishop Coleridge was horrified to discover that his idol Pope Francis was wrong about Hell.

Mercifully at the moment Coleridge tumbled into the flames 🔥 while Australian singer Olivia Newton John sang, “Xanadu, your neon lights will shine for you, Xanadu” while the Mongolian Chinese Emperor Kublai Khan stood and applauded, the Archbishop suddenly woke up.

It had all been a dream.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 3rd
2018.

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Vatican Roulette- Gambling On There Being No Hell

October 1, 2018 at 10:25 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Vatican Roulette- Gambling On There Being No Hell

Pope Francis was having a late night supper in the Vatican with Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal, the 6 last surviving Vampiric Knights-Templar, Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow, his horse a zombie black horse named Bucephalus Reborn and Amourous Laetitia the personal black cat and familiar of Hecate (the Greek goddess of witchcraft).

Samhain Cardinal Salaman (a former professional stage magician who knew how the Indonesian ghost magician The Sacred Riana and the Canadian-American magician Shin Lim performed their tricks and illusions) had been invited to the dinner but declined when he heard what was on the menu.

On the menu was pork – pork that had been found either at the bottom of a lake or the bottom of a sea by Allatallahbel’s friend the mermaid 🧜‍♀️ goddess Atargatis (who was the mother of Semiramis the famous Assyrian Queen).

The sea bound pork was becoming quite indigestible.

Bucephalus Reborn the zombie black horse was quite literally throwing up cotton from eating it.

Pope Francis promptly lost his appetite for eating cotton candy at a circus anytime in the near or far foreseeable future.

It was fortunate for the Headless Horseman Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden that he only ate pumpkin 🎃 pie 🥧.

Thus avoiding the pork.

Amourous Laetitia decided to throw in the towel and become a vegetarian for the first time in her millennia old life.

She not only lost her pork dinner as a result of this meal but brought up her lunch as well.

That old buzzard of a vulture didn’t taste as good coming up as it did going down.

“I wonder where Atargatis got this pork from?” Allatallahbel threw up all over the gay Jesuit priest who served as Pope Francis’ valet.

Gospel of Mark Chapter 5:

Jesus exorcises the Gadarene demoniac asking the unclean spirit possessing the man, “What is thy name?” and the unclean spirit (or spirits) replies, “My name is Legion: for we are many.”

The demons possessing the man asked Christ to send them into some nearby swine.

Jesus granted them leave to do so.

The unclean spirits went into the swine and the herd of about 2000 ran off a cliff into the sea and were choked in the sea 🌊. (Mark Chapter 5: 1-20).

. . .

The leaders of the United States, Mexico and Canada announced that they had agreed to a renewed NAFTA trade deal to be renamed USMCA (United States Mexico Canada Agreement).

After Donald Trump had issued a victory tweet announcing the formation of USMCA, a group of Greenwich Village bathhouse employees wearing nothing but jockey briefs (which had pictures of Donald Trump at the back of the briefs) came out and did a dance routine on the streets bending over and singing a paraphrased version of an old 1970s Village People song, “Down at the USMCA…”

. . .

The newly installed Samhain Cardinal Salaman (former professional stage magician and ex-practicing Kabbalist) wasn’t sure whether he believed in the God of Catholicism or not.

But then years ago, Pope Francis had said that there was no Catholic God.

Still Samhain Cardinal Salaman decided to go down to Saint Raphael’s Chapel and pray to “whom it may concern”.

When he entered the chapel, he saw this vision greeting him:

A nun dressed in very unusual nun attire.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 1st
2018.

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The Lost Continent of Lemuria, The City of Mu and The Ultimate Dragon Warrior Princess

September 25, 2018 at 10:54 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The Lost Continent of Lemuria, The City of Mu and The Ultimate Dragon Warrior Princess

French oceanographer, marine archaeologist and marine biologist Louis Alphonse Cousteau (the great nephew of the famous 20th Century French oceanographer Jacques Cousteau) was diving in the South Pacific off his ship The Ariel Calypso.

He was searching for the lost continent of Lemuria which he believed was in this area.

His fellow scientists laughed at him for believing in the existence of the lost continent of Lemuria and its long lost capital city of Mu calling it a legend, a myth and a fable with no basis in fact.

Louis Alphonse was anxious to prove these sceptics wrong as Heinrich Schliemann had done back in the 19th Century when he had discovered the city of Troy and thus proved Troy’s historicity.

Homer was right and the 19th Century German so called higher critics were wrong.

Cousteau hoped to do the same for those who doubted the existence of Lemuria and Mu.

Cousteau’s research like that of his great uncle Jacques had received a great deal of funding from the French government.

But when Emmanuel Macron was elected President of France, that funding was cut so the new French President could blow it on spending for huge military parades to impress a far older man (let’s call him Donald Trump) the object of Emmanuel’s gay reverse cougar like man crush.

Just like his far older wife Brigitte was the object of his hetero reverse cougar like woman crush.

For Emmanuel Macron seemed to be a French version of that old U.S. Country Western music song This Door 🚪 Swings Both Ways.

As such, Louis Alphonse Cousteau had to look around for a new source of funding.

He found it in the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Set said his memory wasn’t like it used to be (senility seemed to have finally set in after several thousands of years) but the former ancient Egyptian god of chaos, darkness and the desert was pretty sure he had heard of Lemuria’s existence when he was part of Egypt’s divine royal dynasty.

That Lemuria was a land full of gold, jade and valuable gems and minerals.

Cousteau had hired the famous Greek Italian female diver Sophia Lollobrigida to dive for him on this expedition.

As Cousteau sat on the deck of his ship The Ariel Calypso waiting for Sophia to surface, he heard a rustling of the waves.

The sexy looking Sophia Lollobrigida appeared in her skin tight bikini, diver’s mask and aqualung.

She took off her mask and smiled at him.

“I found it,” she said excitedly, “I’ve found the lost city of Mu on the lost continent of Lemuria.”

Meanwhile back at the Set Enterprises laboratory in London, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision while in his lobster tank.

The vision was accompanied by an audible voice, “The dwelling place of the ultimate dragon warrior princess has been found.”

Michelangelo’s vision of the ultimate dragon warrior princess- the Princess Lenora of Lemuria:

The Princess Lenora of Lemuria in her palace in the lost city of Mu.

Only moments after getting the vision, Michelangelo’s lobster tank exploded.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 25th
2018.

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Pan Goatee and The Genetic Clone of Krampus

September 15, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, Entertainment, Folklore, Mythology, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Pan Goatee and The Genetic Clone of Krampus

Pan Goatee was hating living in Calgary.

He had never seen so many ugly women in one place as he had in this city.

The DARPA contract assassin and satyr serial killer had been ordered by DARPA to spy on supporters of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Federal Liberal Party in this city and bump them off if necessary.

DARPA was following the strict orders of a certain toupee wearing bozo (whose DARPA code name was the GOO – short for Great Orange 🍊 Orifice) in doing this.

The trouble was since there were so many ugly women in the city, Pan Goatee was spending a lot more time on his hobby of serial killing ugly women than he was on following instructions for DARPA.

In addition to killing ugly women, Pan Goatee had also been burning down drug gang controlled neighbourhoods in the city as part of his urban improvement project.

However he had developed machete wielder’s elbow on his right arm (as a result of beheading multitudes of ugly women with his astral laser machete) and arsonist’s thumb on his left hand (as a result of setting fires that burned down drug gang controlled neighbourhoods).

He was in pretty rough shape and Obamacare really didn’t help pay for treating his ailments.

“What a stupid policy Obamacare was,” Pan Goatee seethed.

Goatee asked Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA to make a genetic clone of Krampus (the half-demon half goat entity) who served as assistant to the saintly Saint Nicholas in Bavaria, Austria and Central Europe during the festive Advent and Christmas 🎄 seasons.

“I need Krampus as my assistant,” he explained.

Through cutting back financial support to ISIS, al-Qaeda, al-Nusra and other Islamist terrorists fighting Bashar al-Assad in Syria, the U.S. government was able to find the funding necessary to genetically clone Krampus.

Krampus was delighted to provide his DNA for a genetic clone of himself to serve as a personal assistant to Pan Goatee.

He was a big admirer of Pan Goatee’s and had in fact started an online Facebook fan club for the satyr serial killer of ugly looking women.

Numerous feminist groups and Hillary Clinton supporters had petitioned Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg to remove the group off Facebook but Zuckerberg refused.

Krampus had threatened to carry Zuckerberg off to Hell this coming December if he disbanded the group.

Just on the off chance that Pope Francis’ judgement on Hell was about as good as his judgement in covering up for pedophile covering bishops, Zuckerberg didn’t want to take a chance.

This Saturday September 15th 2018, Dr. Faustus Imhotep presented Krampus’ genetic clone Krampus The 2nd as a gift 💝 to Pan Goatee.

Krampus The 2nd jogged 7 times around the city of Calgary in honour of the 7 Hills of Rome.

Krampus then carried a large Christmas sack behind him as he and Pan Goatee went off to do a day’s work.

When Pan went to buy a submarine sandwich, a fat ugly white blimp got in his way.

“You stupid ugly looking thing,” Pan Goatee punched her full force in her ugly looking face with his bandaged thumb left hand.

Krampus then beheaded her with Pan’s astral laser machete and proceeded to cut her up into 666 quintillion pieces.

He shoved the pieces into a Pope Francis approved environmentally friendly plastic garbage bag and put it into his sack and ran off to a drug gang controlled neighbourhood which the cloned demon goat burnt down with the fat ugly blimp’s arson soaked remains.

He rejoined Pan Goatee as Goatee stood at a traffic light.

Goatee noticed a fat ugly white blimp across the street from him and so he went and punched her in the face with his bandaged thumb left hand.

Krampus The 2nd beheaded her.

666 quintillion pieces.

Environmentally friendly garbage bag.

Arson soaked fat ugly blimp remains.

Bye-bye another drug gang controlled neighbourhood.

The demon goat jogged back to rejoin the half-human half-goat satyr.

Goatee tried jaywalking across the street but a cop stopped him.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to give you a ticket,” said the cop.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to order you beheaded,” said Pan Goatee.

Krampus The 2nd repeated the process with the cop as he did for the two fat ugly white blimps.

The cop would have been happy to know that his arson soaked remains burnt down another drug gang controlled neighbourhood. 😀

Goatee and Krampus The 2nd went for a ride on the transit train.

A fat ugly white blimp tried to board the train as Goatee was getting off.

“Out of the way, you hideously fat ugly repulsive looking creature,” Goatee punched her full force in her fat ugly face with his bandaged thumb left hand.

Behead. Slash into 666 quintillion pieces. Eco-friendly garbage bags. Arson soaked remains. Another drug gang neighbourhood sings a mournful dirge version of that old campfire 🔥 folk song Kumbaya.

Krampus The 2nd was getting it down to a fine art form.

When the cloned half-demon half goat rejoined the half-Human half-goat satyr, Goatee was boarding the transit train again.

This time a fat ugly white blimp got on behind him.

“You fucking fat ugly cow,” Goatee shouted at her, “Why don’t you have the decency to wear a paper bag over your head when you go out in public, you inconsiderate fat assed ton of lard.”

He punched her full force right in her stupid fat ugly pathetic face.

As Pan Goatee headed off to the emergency ward of the nearest hospital to get four knuckles and four fingers on his left hand bandaged, Krampus The 2nd went into full gear.

Beheading. Slicing into 666 quintillion pieces. Eco-friendly garbage bags. Arson soaked remains. 360 alarm fire.

Nero’s ghost played on his violin 🎻 Another One Bites The Dust while Pablo Escobar’s ghost counted the number of Air Miles points he had earned from buying boxes of ghostly spectral Kleenex tissues.

Krampus The 2nd: Aiding Pan Goatee in his ongoing campaign to rid the world of ugly looking women and other annoying people.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 15th
2018.

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The Mermaid of The Rivers of Borneo

September 12, 2018 at 11:40 pm (Folklore, Mystery, Mythology, Nature, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The Mermaid of The Rivers of Borneo: A Poem

Like a scene from Paradise
a beautiful South Seas Island
on a moonlit night

Gentle and tranquil stream
reflecting pale moonlight
Green trees rise in adoration
of the heavens above
A cathedral of nature
where solitude and worship are one

A long forgotten fierce deity looks on
His power now as devoid of life
as the dead wood from which he’s carved

The Iban of Borneo who worshiped
these deities no longer hunt for heads
Disciples of Christ
They follow His words of wisdom
now long forgotten in the West
even by those who claim to be His followers

Only one figure from their past
who they still venerate
whom they always venerated
Because she actually exists
Unlike the fierce carvings of wood
once possessed by demons
but who have now fled at the Name of Christ
She the mermaid of the rivers of Borneo
Some call her the Serpent Woman
but was she part Serpent
or part fish?
No one could say for sure.

Mermaid or Serpent Woman?
But her top part is woman
Very much a woman
A woman of great beauty and charm
But also loneliness
For she has no mate.

She sits on a rock
that looks like the moon Armstrong and Aldrin once walked on
She sits on a rock that looks like the moon of Diana and Artemis
The moon that is Our Lady Mary’s lantern
She sits on a rock that looks like the moon
Giving the appearance that the gentle tranquil non-flowing stream
is the ocean 🌊
Upon which the moonrise over Earth’s ocean is occurring
And she the Goddess of the Moon rising above the ocean 🌊

But she is no goddess
for her heart is all too human
And the water is fresh water
and not salt water

Save from the tears that fall from her eyes
for she is lonely
for her heart is all too human.

-A poem written by Christopher
Thursday September 12th
2018.

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Notwithstanding The Hurricane Winds of Change

September 10, 2018 at 11:11 pm (Arts, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Music, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Notwithstanding The Hurricane Winds of Change

Amadeus Emanon was working to get an album of songs he had personally written produced by London music promoter Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell the CEO of Aulos Music and Recording Ltd.

It was helpful to Amadeus’ cause that it was his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (owner of Set Enterprises) who lent Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell the money to buy Aulos Music and Recording Ltd. for himself (Heathcliff had previously been Executive Vice-President of the company).

Of course Heathcliff probably would not have signed Amadeus to a recording contract despite that unless Amadeus had been both a talented songwriter and a talented singer.

Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell’s good friend the New Orleans vampiress and songstress Angelique Dumont (best known for her role as Christine Daae in many West End London theatre productions of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of The Opera since 2007) had highly recommended Amadeus Emanon.

Both Amadeus and Angelique were taking a break from their recording session at Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell’s Wuthering Heights and Glencoe Hospitality Recording Studios on London’s Abbey Road.

They were meeting with Amadeus’ good friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield in Lord Poseidon God of The Seas’ Unparalleled Fish ‘N Chips Shop – a favourite of Amadeus.

“So,” Renfield looked shocked as Amadeus ate only one plate of Fish ‘N Chips (Amadeus had been scolded quite a lot lately by Angelique Dumont to cut down on his large appetite since he would soon be appearing in a photo shoot for the cover of his new album), “It appears that our Alberta-based Canadian vampire hunter friend approves of Ontario Premier Doug Ford’s decision to use the notwithstanding clause of the Canadian Constitution to overrule Ontario Superior Court Justice Edward Belobaba’s decision to disallow Ford’s new legislation The Better Local Government Act. Not because Dracul approves of Doug Ford (whom he calls the Ontario Donald Trump) but because by becoming the first Ontario Premier to use the Notwithstanding clause he might finally encourage politicians in Canada to grow pairs of balls and start using the Notwithstanding Clause to give unelected liberal social activist judges the raspberry they so richly deserve. For too long these unelected judicial jackasses have been reading their own personal views into things the constitution doesn’t even mention and using it to advance their own perverted and degenerate social agenda. Proof positive Dracul notes that Doug Ford is right this one time is that the 2 far left wing liberal rags in Toronto- The Globe and Mail as well as The Toronto Star- appear to have their panties in a knot and are in one Hell of an outburst of whining and snivelling over the fact Ford is using the Notwithstanding Clause.”

“So that’s the way things now stand in Canada, eh?” Amadeus ate a piece of Maple Leaf bacon 🥓 while Angelique watched disapprovingly.

“And then Dracul notes smoking recreational marijuana becomes officially legal next month which should should bring many unelected liberal social activist judges out of their smoke 💨 filled closets where they get many of their ideas from,” Renfield remarked.

. . .

Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher was wondering why Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had blown so many mathematical equations while typing with his lobster claws on his waterproof underwater iPad in his lobster tank.

Usually Michelangelo was so good at being able to crack difficult mathematical equations that even the world’s most advanced computers 🖥 were incapable of cracking.

It was then that Dr. Rocher noticed the remaining stub of reefer of Canadian recreational cannabis at the bottom of Michelangelo’s lobster tank.

. . .

Renfield went back to the Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum dungeons where he was interrogating members of a rogue branch of Britain’s MI-6 who were plotting a chemical attack on civilians who were living in Idlib province in Syria to give NATO the excuse to take direct military action against Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s Government in Damascus.

Renfield was getting the MI-6 operatives to talk by forcing them to watch (with very loud audio) home movie made videos of former Philippines 🇵🇭 First Lady Imelda Marcos singing songs to her husband former Philippines 🇵🇭 dictator Ferdinand Marcos as he lay comatose on his deathbed in a hospital in Honolulu, Hawaii on September 28th 1989 (doctors speculated that it was Imelda’s singing 🎤 that speeded up Ferdinand Marcos’ departure into the afterlife- no doubt figuring that Hell would be an improvement).

Every MI-6 operative that Renfield did this to immediately cracked and was soon singing like a canary.

Renfield brought in a wild nightingale from outside to join the MI-6 canaries in their singing.

. . .

Hurricane Florence now a category 4 hurricane was heading straight towards North and South Carolina.

Florence was a rare kind of hurricane in that, unbeknownst to NASA, the whirlwind in the hurricane was being directed by a vampiress.

The vampiress herself was named Florence.

Florence de Medici.

A vampiress who during her mortal life back in the Italian Renaissance had been an influential and powerful Florentine courtesan- Signora Florence de Medici.

A woman who had been turned into a vampiress by her unholy spiritual godmother- the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith- the mother of all vampires.

And now Florence was directing Florence against the Carolinas.

. . .

Flashback 109 years ago.

November 1909- King Edward VII of Britain had gone to a forest in a public park to meet with a woman.

But this was no ordinary woman.

She was a vampiress.

She was meeting with King Edward VII because she had shocking information (so she said) on what the King’s nephew the Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany was planning.

King Edward VII walked through the bleak November forest until he came upon her:

The Countess Draculina- daughter of Dracula

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 10th
2018.

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Cthulhu Threatens Vengeance On America For Sacred Riana Being Voted Off AGT: A Horror Poem

August 22, 2018 at 10:39 pm (Avatar Speaks, Celebrities, Entertainment, Folklore, Ghost Story, Horror, Humour, International Intrigue, Literature, love, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, Television, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theatre Arts, TV Shows) (, , , , , , , )

Cthulhu Threatens Vengeance On America For Sacred Riana Being Voted Off AGT: A Horror Poem

It was the city proud to be oh so happy and gay
not so the creature now dwelling in the Bay
San Francisco felt a shaking
and it wasn’t earthquaking
It was Cthulhu as mad as Hell
but not at Mel B. or Simon Cowell
Howie Mandel was likewise all right
but Heidi Klum got a fright in the night
A tentacle 🐙 grabbed her leg
and it wasn’t Trump taken down a peg

For Cthulhu was in love with the Sacred Riana
like King King showing Fay Wray his big banana
He was expecting his favourite magician to go all the way
not burnt to ashes like a voodoo doll on a hot summer day

For America had voted Riana out
as Heidi complained of leg pain worse than gout
And now America would pay a very high price
and it wouldn’t be tariffs on chicken fried rice 🍚

A creature from the Lovecraftian Mythos
was with the land of the free extremely cross
No need to worry about Putin, Iran or Kim
For America, Cthulhu now has it in
It will drown in blood
like a raging flood
Fake news or not
but tentacles 🦑 of death shall hit the spot
and of making the land great again, it shall all come to not.

-A comic horror poem
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 22nd
2018.

The Sacred Riana is Cthulhu’s queen
She ascended a fiery wall before commercial break scene
She was crawling up to be crowned the Queen of Hell
from the Beast like creature who at the bottom of the sea 🌊 does dwell

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Reblog of Serena The Time Traveler – A Timely Showdown In The Klondike

August 19, 2018 at 9:18 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , )

A vampire novel chapter I published on my blog a year ago today.

Someone on a recent blog post made a very interesting comment in relation to the Philadelphia Experiment which of course has to do with time travel.

He posted the comment today the same day Facebook reposted the photo of Serena the Time Traveler that I had used for this particular vampire novel chapter so I decided to repost it.

Dracul Van Helsing

North Korean despot Kim Jong-un and his British House of Lords member Communist adviser Lord Byron Jennings had been working on another angle to destroy America besides nuclear weapons and the intercontinental ballistic missile program.

The idea was to send a 100,000 man North Korean Army with advanced weaponry, machine guns and tanks back in time and conquer America in the days when America did not have such weapons.

They sent their good friend Ares the Greek god of War to the Underworld to consult with Saturn/Cronus the Titan god of time on how this could be possible.

Saturn/Cronus told Ares that his reign was of course the Golden Age prior to being overthrown by his son Zeus/Jupiter.

And ever since, Saturn explained, he always had a hankering for gold.

In fact he had been building himself a small portal through time to reach Dawson City Yukon in the year…

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