A Tale of Two Communion Services

July 14, 2020 at 10:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )


Saint Kateri Tekakwitha whose feast day it is today.

On the Lakota Sioux First Nation in South Dakota, a rare breed of Jesuit priest (one who actually believes the first 2000 years of Catholic Christian doctrine as it was taught prior to the advent of Pope Francis) was holding a communion service to mark the feast day of Saint Kateri Tekakwitha an Algonquin-Mohawk woman.

Meanwhile as he slept in his bed at night, former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean (who had a mental breakdown in 2004 the night he lost the New Hampshire state primary) was having a dream (or was it a dream?) where he was receiving a Consecrated Communion wafer that had been defiled in a satanic Black Mass.

The wafer was handed him by the demon Baphomet.

Dean made an Upside Down Mark of the Cross after receiving it.

This past weekend Dean attacked the American Jewish Committee for hiring a Christian.

Dean said Christians only have a reputation for hate.

He made this remark in a weekend that saw a man drive his van into a Catholic Church in Florida as parishioners sat for early morning Mass and then take out two cans of gasoline from his van and set fire to the Church.

A suspicious fire started at the San Gabriel Mission Church in California this past weekend.

In Boston, a statue of the Virgin Mary was spray painted with grafitti outside a Catholic Church.

In New York City, a statue of the Virgin Mary had gasoline poured on it and set alight outside a Catholic elementary school.

In Chattanooga, Tennessee, a statue of the Virgin Mary was decapitated.

Dean had a dream (or was it a dream?) where he mentioned to Baphomet, “Aren’t anarcho-Marxists and Neo-Bolsheviks so kind and loving?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 14th
2020.

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Hi’ iaka’s Dance and Song: Dutchman On The Rocks

July 13, 2020 at 10:40 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“The time seems to be growing short!”
Poseidon said to his brother Hades
as he noticed sands through the centuries’ long hourglass
starting to run out.
“I wonder if I should send the sirens close to that ship
to beckon the Dutchman towards his final Stygian port!”
Poseidon stroked his beard and twiddled his trident.

“The sirens have long surpassed their quota of bringing ships in
towards their final Stygian ports,” Hades put on his spectacles
to browse the latest accounting report and statement
put together by his own personal infernal accountant,
“That Dutchman is a braggart and a fool.
He’ll offend somebody and when the final dice is rolled,
They whoever they may be will summon the Dutchman towards his final Stygian port.”

Captain Hendrick Van Der Decken
stood at the wheel of the Flying Dutchman
It had been a long time
since that fatal year of 1641
when he had blasphemed Christ
and thrown his Crucifix into the sea
after having sold his soul to the Devil
in the waters of the Cape of Good Hope
off South Africa

Hendrick had long since given up on the idea
of ever making landfall again
To sail ocean waters until Doomsday
he had accepted as his fate

An albatross with an arrow stuck in its feathered breast
landed on the ship’s wheel
and squawked like a parrot,
“You’re never going to make landfall until the Apocalypse,
You’re never going to make landfall until the Apocalypse!”.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Captain Van Der Decken grimaced.

“All right, the square root of pi is… oh, my God, I’ve forgotten!
The square root of pi is… oh, my God I’ve forgotten!”.
And with that the albatross spread its wings
and flew off
Presumably in search of an electronic calculator
or one positively mesmerizing abacus.

“Thanks for nothing!” Van Der Decken spit into the wind
And the wind returned the favour.
A huge splash of wave wiped off the spit.

The Captain followed a star in the heavens
Unbeknownst to him, the star was the comet NEOWISE
haunting the early morning sky in various parts of the world

His ship came within sight of Hawaii
And there on the rocks off shore
danced Hi’iaka the Hawaiian goddess of dance
She danced the hula and sang a sweet lovely song

Hendrick felt a stirring in his loins
Something he hadn’t experienced in centuries
and he steered the ship’s wheel in the direction of the song
and the sight of the heavenly vision

Hi’iaka’s elder sister Pele the goddess of volcanoes and fire
was offended by the Captain’s look of lust
and blew her top

Lava and molten rock
struck the ship Flying Dutchman
and broke it apart
The ship’s wheel and the Captain
landed on the rock
On which Hi’iaka danced the hula

As Hi’iaka danced,
she smiled
and wagged her finger
at the Captain
and said,
“No lei for you.”

And with that Captain Hendrick Van Der Decken
fell back below the surface of the waves
there to be ferried across the River Styx
and growled at on the shore
by the 3-headed dog Cerberus.

-A supernatural narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 13th
2020.

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The Fire and The Manuscript

July 12, 2020 at 10:51 pm (Ghost Story, Mystery, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

He had bought an old typewriter from the 1940s in an old antique store.

He placed it down at a desk he no longer used.

His main desk had a PC at it.

His dinner table had a laptop located in front of the chair that neither he nor any of his potential guests ever sat at during meals.

A tablet was by his arm chair in front of the TV.

And of course his smart phone was in his pants pocket ready for his beck and call.

As he went to bed that night, he thought he had heard the sound of typing.

But he ignored it.

Everytime he woke up, he thought he heard the sound of typing.

But again ignored it.

When he woke up the next morning, he was shocked to discover a manuscript for a screen play alongside the old typewriter.

It looked to be freshly typed.

. . .

The ghost of Orson Welles sat in an armchair in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion.

He was watching television while Set’s butler and valet Athelstan dusted the furniture.

The BBC was reporting on a fire that had devastated the San Gabriel Mission Church in California founded by Saint Junipero Serra.

“Horrific,” Athelstan commented as he looked at the screen.

“Very,” Welles’ ghost agreed.

“You have a far away look in your eyes, Mr. Welles,” Athelstan noted.

“I once met Ernest Hemingway,” Welles recounted, “And he told me that he had written a screenplay of all things. He wanted me to see it. The screenplay was for a supernatural thriller in which demons would be walking the earth in a time of plague and pestilence. He didn’t tell me too much about his script. But he did mention one scene where the San Gabriel Mission Church is destroyed by fire. Ironically enough, the manuscript for that screenplay was destroyed by fire. Hemingway never did try to rewrite it.”

. . .

The owner of the antique typewriter looked at the title page of the manuscript.

What first caught his eye were the words “by Ernest Hemingway”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 12th 2020.

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Notre Dame In Paris To Be Restored With Original Gothic Style Spire

July 11, 2020 at 10:18 pm (Art, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The spire of Notre Dame Cathedral which was destroyed in a fire in April of 2019 will be restored according to the original Gothic design French President Emmanuel Macron announced a couple of days ago.

Macron had originally said after the fire that he was in favour of a “contemporary gesture”.

However the French President wanted the restoration to be completed by 2024 when Paris is hosting the Olympics for that year (assuming of course that most of humanity hasn’t died off from the Covid-19 virus or died off from massive carbon dioxide poisoning after having worn face masks 24 hours a day in the last idiotic decree of the WHO and numerous politicians around the world).

The process of designing a contemporary modern spire with an international competition for architects of no doubt exceedingly bad taste would have caused unnecessary delays.

France’s National Heritage and Architecture Commission thus recommended going with a spire in the original Gothic design.

The Cathedral’s first spire was built in the 13th Century but due to extensive damage it had to be removed in the late 18th Century.

Its replacement, designed in the Gothic style by architect Eugene Violett-le-Duc, was built in the mid-19th Century.

Jean-Louis Georgelin (the French Army General put in charge of the reconstruction effort) wanted a modern or maybe even a post-modern alternative to replace Violett-le-Duc’s Gothic design.

Architects from around the world submitted designs including one design with a rooftop pool and another with a giant park and greenhouse on the roof.

Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie had even submitted an architectural design that showed a giant male phallus surrounded by pancakes.

It was mercifully lost in the mail.

The cathedral’s chief architect Philippe Villeneuve consistently spoke out in favour of a faithful restoration of the previous 19th Century Gothic style design.

This upset Gen. Georgelin and in a heated exchange at a meeting of the French National Assembly’s Cultural Affairs Committee last November, the General told Monsieur Villeneuve to shut his mouth.

Seconds later, Gen. Georgelin had a Devonshire Cheese cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity.

Although a few Harvey Wallbanger imbibing members of the committee swore it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who did the deed.


Esmeralda and her pet goat Djali look on in horror at some of the proposed designs for Notre Dame’s spire.

-A vampire novel written by Christopher
Saturday July 11th 2020.

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Byzantine Vampiress Theodora Declares War On Erdogan

July 10, 2020 at 10:34 pm (Vampire novel, The Supernatural, News, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Espionage, International Intrigue) (, , )


The Byzantine vampiress Theodora in a shipping magnate’s apartment overlooking Istanbul’s Golden Horn harbour.

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian the First also known as Justinian the Great) was sitting in the apartment of a Greek shipping tycoon (who claimed to be a Turkish shipping tycoon and had changed his name from Greek to Turkish) that overlooked Istanbul’s Golden Horn harbour.

Theodora was looking calm and serene despite the upsetting news that she had heard today.

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (a man whom Theodora referred to as the “Sultan of Hemmorhoids”) was going to change the Hagia Sophia from a museum back into a mosque.

The Hagia Sophia had been built originally back in 537 AD as a Byzantine Orthodox Christian Cathedral and basilica by Theodora’s husband the Emperor Justinian.

The Greek name Hagia Sophia means in English Holy Wisdom.

Then in 1453 when the Byzantine Empire’s capital of Constantinople (what is now called modern day Istanbul) fell into the hands of the Ottoman Turks led by Sultan Mehmed II, Hagia Sophia was turned into a mosque.

It remained a mosque until 1934 when it was turned into a musem by modern Turkey’s secular leader Kemal Ataturk.

Now Erdogan who fancied himself a would-be Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire and the would-be Caliph of a revived Islamic caliphate planned to turn the Hagia Sophia back into a mosque.

In a victory for Erdogan, Turkey’s top administrative court the Council of State had recently anulled the site’s museum status.

So Erdogan was now moving full speed ahead (against the fiery hot-blooded iceberg that was the Byzantine vampiress Theodora) in turning Hagia Sophia into a mosque.

Now Theodora wanted Erdogan overthrown, Constantinople turned back into the capital of a revived Byzantine Empire and Hagia Sophia restored to being a Christian cathedral and basilica.

To that purpose, she had called a high-ranking Greek army officer (whose Theodoran code name was Dimitrios) and a high-ranking Russian Army officer (whose Theodoran code name was Alexis) to this apartment to discuss their plans.

“I may have trouble getting much of the Greek Army to our cause,” Dimitrios remarked as he sipped a glass of Ouzo.

“I likewise might have trouble getting much of the Russian Army to our cause,” Alexis remarked as he sipped a glass of vodka.

“It seems,” Theodora sighed sadly, “that the only people who manage to get things organized and done these days are the Communists. A PLA engineered bioweapon manages to leak from the Wuhan Institute of Virology and send the whole world into chaos. The Communists in the WHO continue to manage or mismanage the chaos. The Communist controlled United Nations wants to impose a global Marxist government as the “new normal” in the post-Covid world while a Communist Pope in the Vatican cheers them on. Most U.S. Democratic party politicians in America covertly (and in many cases overtly) seek to turn that country into a new Soviet Union with Antifa and Black Lives Matter operatives acting as the insurrectionary terrorist vanguard of the emerging Soviet state.”

“Well, if you could get Hades and Persephone to release the ghost of the great Byzantine general Belisarius to lead the attack on Istanbul, this would probably get my country’s Army behind the cause,” Alexis noted.

Dimitrios added that this would likewise be the case with the Greek Army.

“Well, I’ll try to get Belisarius released but not his legal advisor the historian Procopius,” Theodora sipped a glass of champagne.


Byzantine vampiress Theodora: Will try to get General Belisarius’ ghost released from the Underworld

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 10th
2020.

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Aphrodite: Pearl of The Meditteranean

July 9, 2020 at 10:49 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The ghost of the Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte had managed to convince Hades and Persephone to let him out of the Underworld for a while and let him wander the Earth.

The Earth was in the throes of chaos thanks to the Covid-19 virus and the global lockdown as well as ongoing Neo-Bolshevik insurrectionary riots and neo-Jacobin French Revolutionary Reign of Terror tactics going on in the United States of America.

It was just such a period of chaos and turmoil in France during the last decade of the 18th Century that had allowed Napoleon to come to power in France and eventually make himself Emperor of the French in the 1st decade of the 19th Century.

Now Napoleon wished to wander the earth to see who would emerge as the absolute ruler of the hour in this time of chaos.

He was currently walking the streets of Rome (the city he had made his son Napoleon II the King of).

He was quite startled to see an elk walking the streets of Rome.

The elk headed towards the colosseum and entered it.

Strange, the ex-Emperor thought to himself.

He had seen a few peculiar things in Rome back in the day but not that.

. . .

The Egyptian god Horus flew through the streets of London.

Horus had spent over 1500 years as a disembodied spirit after he had been decapitated by King Arthur’s sword Excalibur (capable of slaying immortals).

His spirit on and off had possessed the bodies of various mortal men during that time period but as soon as his mortal host’s body had kicked the bucket, he was left finding a new body to enter.

Now however the Chinese company Huawei had managed to invent a robotic falcon (a robot with all the capabilities and powers inherent in a falcon of nature but one that was immortal having been made from everlasting mineral materials).

A quick call from Horus’ new partner George Soros (The Horus-Soros Alliance had been negotiated by the ghost of Aleister Crowley in-between his incessant screaming as he roasted away on a barbeque spit down in Tartarus) to Soros’ good friend the Chinese Communist paramount leader Xi Jinping and Huawei had provided Horus with just the right robotic falcon body for his spirit to enter.

Now he was flying the streets of London in search of his prey.

Damn, Horus thought to himself.

With this Covid-19 pandemic going on, many people were wearing masks.

How would he able to recognize his prey if his prey was wearing a mask?

. . .

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was walking on a beach on the island of Cyprus.

There were reports that a giant oyster shell had washed up on this beach and Dracul’s friend Peter Whitstable (the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol) had asked him to investigate.

The shell was spotted near an open fire on the beach.

Van Helsing and his friend the ghost of Orson Welles approached the fire.

The giant oyster was being cooked over the open fire by the Greek god Dionysus.

“Do you know if a pearl also came with this shell?” Van Helsing asked the now thoroughly inebriated Greek deity (who had in a single night saved the Cypriot wine making industry from financial disaster).

“Hic! Hic! Hic!” Dionysus replied, “I was told by a gypsy wench that a pearl of great price was in the shell but that pearl of great price up and walked away.”

“It’s Dionysus vs. Christ! Don’t you understand?” The ghost of Friedrich Nietzsche spoke to the ghosts of Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus as the 3 philosophers sat like bumps on a log on a log further down the beach.

Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles returned to their hotel room.

There the Greek goddess Aphrodite (who was the pearl of great price from the oyster shell) was waiting for Van Helsing.

The ghost of Orson Welles was once again forced to shut his eyes as Van Helsing carried on with a goddess.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 9th
2020.

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BBC’s Stalinist-Maoist Propaganda Chief, Pope Francis and The Last Days of Hong Kong

July 6, 2020 at 10:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

“I think it’s safe to say that Anthony Zurcher the BBC News reporter on North American affairs is a Marxist-Leninist Communist scumbag,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield began his podcast with his usual sense of diplomacy and decorum.

As Dr. Cadbury Rocher of Set Enterprises sat listening to the podcast while eating his seafood salad (much to the discomfort of Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster in his nearby aquarium), Renfield pointed out how Zurcher’s news reports and tweets were heavily laced with Marxist-Leninist buzzwords and not much reporting of the actual facts.

“Mr. Zurcher seems to be a transgendered 21st Century British version of 20th Century American journalist Anna Louise Strong,” Renfield went on.

American journalist Anna Louise Strong was a strong supporter of Stalin, Mao and various Communist regimes across the world back in the 1930s, ’40s, ’50s and ’60s.

She was often made fun of by British journalist, political analyst, essayist and satirist Malcolm Muggeridge who described her as a “woman who seemed to have such an intense look of stupidity about her, one could almost take it for a strange form of beauty.”

Renfield said he’d leave it to Pope Francis’ cardinals to see if beauty could also be ascribed to the bald-headed Mr. Zurcher’s equally intensely stupid face.

Renfield noted how Zurcher seemed to have covert and sometimes overt support for the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans who were busy tearing down statues and trying, in Maoist cultural revolutionary fashion, to erase all traces of America’s past.

Meanwhile over in Rome, Pope Francis in his Sunday July 5th public audience had dropped all references to Hong Kong including a plea for religious freedom there.

In a text given to Vatican journalists before the Angelus audience, the Pope was to devote a few sentences to the situation in Hong Kong.

But those remarks were never included in the Pope’s public speech.

Renfield said there were rumours circulating today that one of Pope Francis’ speechwriters had just lost his job and even worse had his golden key to the Vatican Health Spa Steam Bath House taken away from him.

Meanwhile Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was receiving a psychic vision of Havana Cuba being hit by huge waves.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 6th
2020.

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Pan Goatee Beheads Fat Ugly Blimp While Marxist Quartet Visits DC

July 4, 2020 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Satyr serial killer Pan Goatee received an email from his local public library telling people not to put their library books in the microwave and turn it on in the mistaken belief that this will kill any Covid-19 virus lurking on the book covers and jacket.

“I can’t believe the stupidity of people these days,” Goatee remarked.

But there was plenty of stupidity going around as some fat ugly blimp was stupidly wandering around the neighbourhood where Pan Goatee lived.

Goatee quickly beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete and cut her up into 666 quadrillion pieces.

There was a beautiful woman who had been walking alongside the fat ugly blimp.

“Just on the off chance ugliness is contagious like the Covid-19 virus,” Goatee spoke in solemn infectious diseases “expert” tones as he beheaded the beautiful woman.

Dr. Anthony Fauci had never addressed the question on whether or not ugliness was contagious (although there was some evidence for it when one looked at news footage of the overall appearance of women who attended Hillary 2016 rallies 4 years ago).

Dr. Fauci himself had caught a mysterious virus a few days ago that had turned him into a garden gnome lawn ornament.

Although members of House and Senate Committees that Dr. Fauci had testified in front of the past week hadn’t noticed any difference.

As Joe Biden made his 4th of July message on his front lawn surrounded by garden gnome lawn ornaments whom, he told the assembled media, were wanting to smell his hairy legs, Biden said, “The most patriotic thing one can do this 4th of July is to wear a mask.”

Biden made the statement while NOT wearing a mask.

At the 4th of July fireworks display over Washington DC, the ghosts of Vladimir Lenin, Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and North Korea’s first Communist leader Kim Il-sung were all watching.

The ghosts of the Marxist quartet had been temporarily released by Hades from roasting away on their respective barbeque spits down in Tartarus at the request of Pope Francis who was quite anxious that the foursome should see this year’s 4th of July fireworks over Washington DC.

Pope Francis’ request to Hades had been co-signed by American economist Jeffrey Sachs, Bill Gates of Microsoft and botched vaccines fame, George Soros, WHO head Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres and Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.

“Just think,” Stalin shed tears, “By next year’s 4th of July celebrations, this country will belong to us.”

“Or at least your ideological successors at any rate,” the 3 heads of Cerberus growled as the famed Underworld dog chased the 4 back to Tartarus.

And then in the glow of the Buck Moon (the nickname of the July full moon because this is the time of year when the male deer begin to grow their antlers), Cernunnos the Celtic horned stag god of beasts and wild places stood atop the Washington Monument obelisk in the moonlight.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 4th
2020.

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Qonzilqointec and Set Vs. Horus and Soros

July 1, 2020 at 10:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec crossing a street in London

Seconds after crossing the street, a multiple vehicle pile up was reported on that same London street as over 40 vehicles had rear ended and fender bendered one another.

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson was 3 hours late for his massage appointment at Lulu’s Massage Parlour.

Qonzilqointec hailed a taxi on another street where she was driven to the London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set to discuss George Soros’ $33 million funding of the Black Lives Matter Organization.

The Black Lives Matter Organization (as opposed to the Black Lives Matter Movement which was a hashtag social media collective) had been founded back in 2013 by 3 lesbians who were all Communists and had as their own personal herione a black woman who had shot and killed a New Jersey state trooper back in the early 1970s and then escaped from prison in 1979 to flee to Cuba where she had been living the high life in Havana the capital of the Castros’ Communist regime ever since.

On their About page, the Black Lives Matter Organization listed as one of their goals “the abolition of fatherhood and the nuclear family” and all children were to be raised by the state.

Transvestite blacks would also be given a special place of privilege in the global Marxist New Order that the Black Lives Matter Organization foresaw.

If only the great 1960s and 1970s comedian Flip Wilson and his TV character alter ego Geraldine had lived to see this.

“You recently discovered some information about Soros?” Qonzilqointec asked Set.

“He’s apparently formed an alliance with my nephew Horus,” Set sipped his tea.

“Really,” Qonzilqointec was not surprised.

“I understand Aleister Crowley who’s busy roasting away on his barbeque spit down in Tartarus is quite happy at the news,” Set helped himself to some barbeque spare ribs.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 1st
2020

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Marxist Puppets On Strings

June 30, 2020 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Pan Goatee exited the grocery store where a very unusual version of an old Elvis Presley song was playing above the store aisles,

“Are you Marxist tonight?
Are you sorry you read Das Kapital?….”

While exiting the store, the genetically created satyr serial killer encountered a fat ugly blimp with a butch haircut and a streak of a very ugly looking shade of blue in her hair.

“Why don’t you wear a paper bag over your head when you go out in public, you ugly looking bull dyke freak?” Goatee commented as he lopped off her head with his astral laser machete.

“Hey, you shouldn’t call people bull dyke freaks,” snivelled a man who could have easily passed for being a member of Pope Francis’ curia if he lived at the Vatican or a hairdresser if he lived in Beverly Hills California, “especially during Pride week when we’ve got the Marxist-Leninist New Age Maitreyan occultic inverted rainbow displayed all over the place?”.

“Why don’t you turn into a pillar of salt like Lot’s wife did?” Goatee calmly answered as he lopped off the whiner’s head.

The whiner’s head exploded in a massive burst of salt (with a dash of pepper) as it hit the ground.

Meanwhile over in Beijing, Xi Jinping was playing with some controls that managed the electric invisible puppet strings that controlled Xi’s puppet Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Ethiopian Communist who had headed the World Health Organization since 2017.

“The Covid-19 virus is still here, the Covid-19 virus is still here,” Dr. Tedros shouted in a fit of apoplexy as he rode a toy horse coloured pale green.

“Good news on the Hong Kong front,” the supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon who was Xi’s spirit guide advisor smiled, “the Hong Kong Security Law is now law in Hong Kong. We can now start throwing people in jail by the millions.”

“That’s great,” Xi beamed like a beatific Buddha if Buddha had been possessed by a demon, “no doubt Democatic Party governors and Mayors in America will continue to take notes from my actions as they round up Christians and other non-Marxists in the U.S.”.

“That is if the Neo-Marxist insurrectionists and Neo-Jacobin revolutionaries don’t guillotine them all first once they finish tearing down all the statues of the old America,” the Black Dragon laughed like Mount Vesuvius erupting over Pompeii in 79 AD.

“Exactly,” Xi got one of his drag queen roosters to lay a 1000-year-old egg.

“There’s good news on the Taiwan front as well,” the Black Dragon guffawed like Krakatoa erupting in 1883.

“Really?” Xi directed one of his guards to deliver the 1000-year-old egg to the Wuhan Institute of Virology for old times’ (i.e. December 2019) sake.

“Yes, in the supernatural realm angels who had been guarding the island of Taiwan on the orders of the Archangels Saint Michael and Saint Raphael have now withdrawn from Taiwan on their angelic commanders’ orders,” the Black Dragon cackled like Mount Pinatubo in 1991.

“Why?” Xi asked.

“Because Taiwan just held a huge Pride parade honouring the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet,” the Black Dragon started brushing his teeth with a Dyson powered vaccum cleaner.

“The Italian Marxist theoretician Antonio Gramsci was certainly right when he theorized that honouring Baal and Baphomet practices and introducing them into a country’s wider culture can easily pave the way for the triumph of Communism everywhere,” Xi got his drag queen rooster to lay another 1000-year-old egg, “We can probably annex Taiwan by summer’s end this year.”

Meanwhile on the White House lawn in Washington DC, Dr. Anthony Fauci wearing a Chicken Little suit (given him as a gift by Xi Jinping) started clucking, “100,000 cases a day are coming. 100,000 cases a day are coming.”

America’s leading self-proclaimed expert on viruses was then struck by a virus that turned him into a garden gnome lawn ornament.

“Where did that stupid looking lawn ornament come from?” Donald Trump asked his British butler and valet Lexington as he gazed out from his Oval Office window.

“No idea, sir,” Lexington shook his head, “It wasn’t there this morning when Andrew Jackson’s statue was chasing Nancy Pelosi across the lawn with a 6 foot giant Cuban cigar in his mouth.”

“Strange,” Trump wondered where Jackson got the Cuban cigar.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 30th
2020.

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