Artemis: Goddess of The Hunt
Artemis: Goddess of The Hunt
A whisper in the wind
A rustle in the trees
A mid-October autumn
A point between
the September Indian Summer
and the cold winds of Samhain
In early November
The land waits in anticipation
A hunter’s moon last evening
And soon the hunter will appear
It is Artemis the goddess of the hunt
Who stands at the door
For the hunt this side of autumn
Will be a hunt like no other
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 14th
2019.
Michelangelo: The Fastest Claw In The West
Michelangelo: The Fastest Claw In The West
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a visitor in his aquarium room at Set Enterprises today.
The visitor was Belvedere the ghost of a ghost white salamander reporter for the Times of London.
Belvedere, in his days as a mortal, before he had been turned into a ghost white salamander by a gypsy enchantress, had lived in the days of the American Wild West and was therefore regaling the lobster with tales of his adventures (somewhat highly embellished of course!).
Belvedere was then called away by his editor to attend a late night session of the House of Lords who were debating if there would be enough sausages available to make full English breakfasts should a no-deal Brexit happen.
When Belvedere left, Michelangelo fell asleep and dreamed that he was living in the days of the Wild West.
The place was Dodge City
The times were not pretty
Willy Malone and The Bronson Boys
had fired their guns certainly not toys
They were the gang that called the shots
And gave their horses the best parking spots
No one could stop their reign of terror
thinking that one could was a total error
You’d find yourself plugged full of lead
and resting ‘neath tombstones with the rest of the dead
It was on a hot and dusty day
that a lobster wandered this way
He went up to the bar and ordered a beer
using chalk and a chalkboard to make himself clear
For the crustacean was the strong silent type
and his body odour was not overly ripe
Willy Malone and the Bronson Boys came strolling through the door
Got the shock of their life seeing a lobster on the floor
Said Malone as he saw the lobster drinking his beer
and finding the whole thing very queer
This town ain’t big enough for the both of us
So I say unto you, Hit the road, Gus
The lobster wrote on the chalkboard
with all the pizzaz of a High British Lord
My name is Michelangelo and I shall not leave
So stick that up your nose and wipe your sleeve
Malone was beside himself
As he knocked beer bottles off the shelf
Step out into the street for a show down
And when you’re dead you’ll leave town
I’m challenging you to a gun fight
Bullets blazing will be your last sight
Michelangelo accepted the challenge to a draw
And was out on the street with gun in claw
The town’s privy clerk counted to three
And the lobster shot old Malone in the knee
He did the same with the Bronson Boys
who keeled over in the street making lots of noise
For Michelangelo was the fastest claw in the West
And the Malone-Bronson gang wasn’t up for the test
-A vampire novel chapter
and poem
written by Christopher
Sunday October 6th
2019.
One of the witnesses to the gunfight between Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster and the Malone-Bronson Gang
Athena’s Song
Athena’s Song
The Kraken Napoleon VI was sitting in a Parisienne cafe with several bottles of rum in front of him.
The Ancient Greek god Zeus entered the cafe and sat down from the Kraken.
“I believe we met on Mount Olympus last year,” said Zeus, “You’re Medusa’s husband aren’t you?”.
“I am,” the Kraken nodded.
Zeus ordered a glass of ouzo from the waiter.
“I understand you’re a member of the European Parliament along with Medusa,” Zeus added some Grecian Formula to his grey beard.
“That is correct,” said the Kraken Napoleon VI, “Waiting for the day that the French people elect me Emperor of France.”
“Any luck with that?” Zeus took out a comb and started combing his beard.
“No,” the Kraken admitted.
“Bummer,” said Zeus who was also recalling the day he unexpectedly walked into his son Apollo’s bedroom when the latter had his friend Hyacinth over.
The Greek deity and the Kraken then discussed Brexit.
The Kraken asked Zeus if he could do anything to possibly help the Kraken’s friend Renfield R. Renfield who, even though he was a British Transhumanist Party MP, was a member of Boris Johnson’s cabinet.
Zeus agreed.
Meanwhile on stage in a Paris nightclub was Zeus’ daughter Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom.
Athena sang a song,
“Those were the days of wine and roses,
Love will be like this always one supposes
But as the sands of time travel on
Wine loses its flavour and the singer their song
What once was wonder has turned to dust
like a once new car turned to rust
The sun has set, the moon is eclipsed,
no sparks now fly at exchange of lips,
The day is done, The night is black,
Love has fled down the track,
Enjoy the days of wine and roses while you can
Before the time you just feel an also ran.”
-A vampire novel chapter
and poem
written by Christopher
Saturday October 5th
2019.
A Reflection On Autumn
A Reflection On Autumn
Autumn… when the trees put on their coats of many colours
Friday The 13th Harvest Moon
Friday the 13th Harvest Moon
Try not to think of this as your death,
The vampiress approached,
It’s just another harvest moon,
She glimmered in the full light of the moon,
Her hair, her gown,
She was luminous,
An angel of light….
“Bat out of Hell…” Meatloaf sang on the radio…
“Could be one and the same thing,”
The vampiress laughed as she approached,
“But it is just another harvest moon…”
“A Friday the 13th Harvest Moon,” said the man tied up in the chair,
“A black cat crossed my path today,
I walked under a ladder,
I crossed knives,
I looked a Greek tycoon’s gift horse in the mouth today at the racetrack
And I ran a hockey goalie named Jason over with my car today
getting my tires slashed in the process.”
“I understand there’s a werewolf howling in the rainforests of the Amazon tonight,” the vampiress smiled,
“On this harvest moon,”
She continued to sing.
“The werewolf would be Magog Rhys Petley,”
said the man,
“A London based Welsh private eye bitten by a snake’s head named Rahu during a lunar eclipse many years ago,
Turned the poor fellow into a werewolf for some reason,
Lev Tomi hired him to find out who’s setting fire to the Amazon rainforests
And now he’s howling away under a harvest moon.”
“On this harvest moon,” the vampiress sang.
“I wonder if Neil Young would like your cover,” the man said.
The vampiress’ gown fell off her shoulders on to the floor.
“I guess he would,” smiled the man,
“he’d probably like you under cover as well.”
“And what about you, Inspector Depp?” The vampiress asked the Scotland Yard detective, “Would you like me under cover?”.
“It’s a Friday the 13th Harvest Moon,” Depp answered, “Why not?”.
The vampiress bit his neck, drained all his blood and left him for dead.
“Like Britain after Halloween,” the vampiress laughed.
She walked out into the night where she was followed by a black jaguar with silver eyes.
The vampiress walked to the clock tower of Big Ben.
She turned and faced the Jaguar.
She once again dropped her gown.
The Black Jaguar turned into a man who made love to her.
And the bells of Big Ben, which were supposed to be silent while being repaired, started playing the tune,
“On this Harvest Moon…”
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 13th
2019.
Wilkie The Cat Plays Hamlet
Wilkie The Cat Plays Hamlet
The noted New York feline thespian Wilkie The Cat was on stage appearing in his own production of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet.
The vain cat actor was naturally playing the lead role.
“If it were done when ’tis done,
then twere well it were done quickly…”
“You idiot, that’s from MacBeth,” shouted Mitzi the French cat who was playing Ophelia.
“Oh,” Wilkie took a look at what he had written on his cuff links.
“Sorry folks,” Wilkie grinned at the audience.
Wilkie struck a dramatic Sir John Barrymore style pose.
“I have come to bury Caesar not to praise him,” Wilkie began.
The body of a German shepherd is carried by four marching legionaries across the stage followed by a weeping female French poodle.
“That’s from Julius Caesar, bozo!” Mitzi exclaimed.
“Oops!” Wilkie took a look at what was written on the cuff links of his other front paw.
“Now is the winter of our discontent,” Wilkie began as imagery of hot dogs and ice cream cones and a summer beach and loads of bikini clad women and swimming suit men appear on the screen behind him.
“Richard III, idiot!” Mitzi shook her head.
An actor dressed like John Wayne appears on stage and in a John Wayne like voice says, “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”.
Wilkie sits down and takes a look at what was written on one of the white socks on his back paws, “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?”.
“That’s Juliet’s line from Romeo and Juliet, you nincompoop!” Mitzi threw her paws in the air in exasperation.
Wilkie hearkens to what was written on the white sock on his other back paw.
“I fear my Thisbe’s promise is forgot!” Wilkie puts his right front paw to his feline brow in ultra melodramatic fashion.
“That’s from Pyramus and Thisbe the play within a play in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, you ninny!” Mitzi grabs her parasol umbrella from the stage hand off stage so she can hit Wilkie over the head with it.
Wilkie pulls off a piece of paper he has stapled to his tail.
“Those are the lines from King Lear you have there!” Mitzi approaches menacingly with her umbrella.
“King Leer!” Wilkie protests too much, “I’m no King Leer! You must think me a voyeur of some importance.”
The disgraced Pee-wee Herman walks across stage holding a pair of binoculars through which his eyes are peering.
Wilkie rips out a piece of paper that’s stapled to his tongue, reads it and cries out, “Soft you now, the fair Ophelia!”.
Mitzi casts her parasol to the stage and sighs, “Finally now, you’ve got the right play.”
At that point, Donald Trump with his toupee falling off, walks on stage and proclaims,
“In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Trump by name, present a wall…”
At that moment, the mostly Democratic Party aligned New York City audience rushes towards the stage to tear it apart (along with many in the audience who just want their money back).
As the New York City Mayor’s wife (a former lesbian) rushes on to the stage, Wilkie the Cat shouts, “Get thee to a nunnery!”.
Wilkie is then immediately attacked by New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo who tries to inject the feline with saline solution and then suck him up with a Planned Parenthood approved Electrolux vacuum cleaner.
Needless to say like every other play Wilkie had produced and directed for Broadway, the cat’s adaptation of Hamlet did not have a second night’s performance.
-A Wilkie the Cat Short Story
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 20th
2019.
Dolores Costello with her husband John Barrymore.
Barrymore, unlike Wilkie The Cat, could perform Shakespeare.
Haiku About South Seas Romance
Haiku About South Seas Romance
South Seas paradise
Polynesian goddess
Heaven on a swing
Guns and The Music of The Night
Guns and The Music of The Night
Cosmos is truly a cosmic word
It means the whole created order
Cosmos therefore means much more than universe
Cosmos could mean there are multiverses
In C.S. Lewis’ Narnia books, he talked of a planet where a plethora of worlds grew as trees
Lewis was truly a visionary
In his book That Hideous Strength
He foresaw the rise of Transhumanist science that would occur 50 years later
And as breakthroughs in physics happen day by day
Which seem to indicate that there are multiverses
Lewis foresaw that too
And so in another time and another place
In a multiverse far away
Carmen Rouge stood at the window of an early 20th Century Paris
A Paris under siege by the Kaiser’s forces
And not stuck in the trenches of northern France during the First World War as happened in our universe
Outside the window was Carmen Rouge’s steampunk artillery gun
Ready to bring down German aeroplanes and airships
On her small table in front of the window
Was the candelabra her father carried
In the depths of the Paris Opera House
Attached to the stand of the candelabra was the mask he wore
Next to the candelabra was an old phonograph that played her father’s voice
Her father singing to her mother,
“Softly, deftly, music shall caress you,
hear it, fear it, secretly possess you…
In this darkness which you know you cannot fight
The darkness of the music of the night”.
For Carmen Rouge is the daughter of Christine Daae and Erik
The Phantom of the Opera
And so around this particular window
In a Paris apartment
In another Paris
In another universe
You have both guns
And the music of the night
-A poem written by Christopher
Monday August 12th
2019.
Venus In Furs
Venus In Furs
It was a night
With much in sight
And Ares danced
In Paris France
Temperatures were hot
So no fox trot
Cannot do the rumba
Because of sidewalk gumba
A tango would sizzle
So leave it for drizzle
To dance in puddles
With Gene Kelly cuddles
Those disco nights
would burst one’s tights
And definitely no wind
To fly one’s kites
It’s quite the heat wave
no night for a rave
Temperatures soar
like furnace roar
Humidity heat
To Dante’s inferno beat
A night to sweat
Don’t walk your pet
Sidewalk egg will fry
And the hen will sigh
Fahrenheit is really high
The fan will soon die
From overwork
It’s quite the quirk
Ice from soda jerk
Beams up James Kirk
A night you won’t forget
Like a Hellbound jet
Sauna rooms to let
Still vacant yet
And so Ares does dance
In Paris France
Minus his pair of pants
Saying take a chance
Meanwhile in her room
On a night of doom
Aphrodite wears
More than perfume
Greek goddess Aphrodite goes totally insane:
Venus in furs
-A poem written by Christopher
Saturday August 3rd
2019
Inspired by the recent heat wave
hitting Europe
Sherry and The Unicorn
September 15, 2019 at 10:55 pm (Commentary, Folklore, History, Inspiration, Life, love, magic, Mythology, Nature, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural) (narrative poem, poem, Sherry)
Sherry and The Unicorn
The golden colours of autumn
Shone brightly around the hills and trees
As Sherry set out from her beautiful rustic old farmstead and grounds
Autumn was her favourite time of year she reflected
As a cool autumn breeze blew gently through her dark hair
Sherry loved to go on evening walks
Sometimes alone
Or with her dog
Or one of her children
Tonight she was alone
Alone to contemplate
And silently communicate with both God and Nature
Which was one of her favourite past times
Contemplating and communicating with both God and Nature
She set out on the path
That would take her along the river
And by the woods
In her eyes both peace and sadness
Peace from communicating with God and nature
Sadness from the night her nearly 3 year old daughter died from pneumonia
In her arms
On the night when the worst March snowstorm of the century hit Western Europe
And ambulances were unable to get through the snow drifts
To reach the farm stead
And rush the girl to hospital
Sherry gave the impression of one who had lived a thousand lives
For her eyes seemed to reflect the wisdom of one who had
She had been born in the Malaysian province of Sarawak
On the island of Borneo
Through her veins flowed the blood of the Iban
Who were the famed Head Hunters of Borneo
Whose exploits and ferocity
Were the stuff of folk lore
But were now a gentle and loving people
Since the light of Christ had been brought to them
Also the blood of the Malay flowed through her veins
The people who gave Malaysia its name
On her father’s side she had both Chinese and Japanese ancestry
For her paternal grandfather and paternal grandmother had a Romeo and Juliet style love story
But one with a happy ending
Her grandfather was Japanese
Having been born into a noble Japanese Samurai family
Of one of the many Samurai clans that existed throughout Japan
And still existed prior to Gen. MacArthur’s governorship of the country in the post-World War II years
Now those mighty Samurai clans existed only in history books and ancestral family stories
And of course Hollywood and Japanese films
But her grandfather a noble Samurai knight
Had fallen in love with a Chinese woman
In a time period when the Samurai clans had fallen under the sway of Tojo
And an extreme militaristic form of Shintoism
Whose Japanese master race theories about Japanese racial superiority among Asians
Were matching Hitler’s German racial superiority theories about
German racial superiority
Among the peoples of Europe
So it would not do for a Japanese samurai knight
To fall in love with a Chinese woman
And worse still as far as his family and clan
were concerned-
He wanted to marry her!
Keep her as a kept woman if you must
His immediate male family members told him
But do not, under any circumstances, marry her.
But this noble Samurai knight was truly noble by nature
And not noble in name only.
He married the woman he loved-
A woman of China!
The result was the the pronouncement of a Japanese Samurai clan’s equivalent
Of an Iranian ayatollah’s fatwa-
A death edict for both the Samurai
And his bride!
The couple fled as far away from the reach of the Samurai clans as they could get
To the island of Borneo!
And many years later Sherry was born
The granddaughter of these star-crossed lovers
Sherry was teased as a child
Because the village because of the darkness of her eyes
Thought her the reincarnation
Of the River serpent woman
Who haunted her village and family folklore
A great great great grandmother several generations back in her Iban family tree
Who had a human body for the top part
But a serpent body for the bottom part of her body
It was said the River serpent woman
had extremely dark eyes
And Sherry had the darkest eyes of any female currently living in her family
But that was Sherry’s past
And the sights of autumn and deer
And rabbits and squirrels was Sherry’s present
The unicorn sat down in the clearing of the woods
A magical and enchanting creature
In an age where the only magic and enchanting were done by dark beings
And therefore magical enchanting creatures of God were rarely seen
Of course the Unicorn being an essentially shy creature preferred it this way
Being able to walk the woods and hills freely without being gaped at by other creatures
Particularly those creatures with 2 arms and 2 legs and ten fingers and 10 toes who seemed to be particularly fond of gaping
Particularly those who carried those annoying little objects in their hands
And were always emitting flashes of light at themselves
Particularly as they stood alongside other creatures
The unicorn looked up
And then paused
For one of those creatures
He was just thinking about
Was standing on the other side of the River
And looking at him.
The unicorn thought about turning to run
He turned its gaze back to the creature
And the creature did something odd for this type of creature
Instead of getting closer to get a better look at him
The creature sat down on the banks of the River
And just looked
Not an annoying look either
Just a contemplative look
It was not eying the Unicorn either for dinner or emitting a flash
From an object in its hand
Just a gentle look
A look that seemed to acknowledge
The Unicorn as a fellow subject
Rather than an object to be simply gaped at
For the sake of gaping
The creature on the other side of the River then smiled at the Unicorn
That was it!
A simple smile
It seemed to be a kind smile
The Unicorn thought
Not a nasty or self-absorbed smile
That too often seemed to accompany the countenance
Of creatures like these
For some reason the Unicorn felt inclined to cross the River
On the other bank now
As the Unicorn stood
He noticed the creature with the kind smile
Had still not made any movement towards it-
The Unicorn.
The Unicorn approached and bowed its head and horn within inches of the creature with the kind smile
The creature with the kind smile gently patted his head and horn
And smiled some more.
The Unicorn gave the creature its own kind smile
And walked back across the River and then into the woods from whence it came.
When she returned home, some of her children called out to Sherry,
“Did you have a good walk, Mom?”.
“Yes, I did,” Sherry nodded as she took off her coat, “A very good walk.”
“Did you see anything?” The children asked.
“Yes,” Sherry smiled, “I saw some deer. And some rabbits and a squirrel.”
Sherry put her finger to her lips and mused aloud, “And let’s see. What else did I see?”.
Then she thought some more and then smiled, “Oh yes. And I saw a Unicorn.”
“Oh, Mom!” The children giggled and laughed.
-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday September 15th
2019.
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