Wilkie The Cat Plays Hamlet

August 20, 2019 at 10:40 pm (Comedy, Culture, Entertainment, Humour, Literature, Poetry, Romance, theatre, Theatre Arts) (, , , , )

Wilkie The Cat Plays Hamlet

The noted New York feline thespian Wilkie The Cat was on stage appearing in his own production of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

The vain cat actor was naturally playing the lead role.

“If it were done when ’tis done, 
then twere well it were done quickly…”

“You idiot, that’s from MacBeth,” shouted Mitzi the French cat who was playing Ophelia.

“Oh,” Wilkie took a look at what he had written on his cuff links.

“Sorry folks,” Wilkie grinned at the audience.

Wilkie struck a dramatic Sir John Barrymore style pose.

“I have come to bury Caesar not to praise him,” Wilkie began.

The body of a German shepherd is carried by four marching legionaries across the stage followed by a weeping female French poodle.

“That’s from Julius Caesar, bozo!” Mitzi exclaimed.

“Oops!” Wilkie took a look at what was written on the cuff links of his other front paw.

“Now is the winter of our discontent,” Wilkie began as imagery of hot dogs and ice cream cones and a summer beach and loads of bikini clad women and swimming suit men appear on the screen behind him.

“Richard III, idiot!” Mitzi shook her head.

An actor dressed like John Wayne appears on stage and in a John Wayne like voice says, “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!”.

Wilkie sits down and takes a look at what was written on one of the white socks on his back paws, “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?”.

“That’s Juliet’s line from Romeo and Juliet, you nincompoop!” Mitzi threw her paws in the air in exasperation.

Wilkie hearkens to what was written on the white sock on his other back paw.

“I fear my Thisbe’s promise is forgot!” Wilkie puts his right front paw to his feline brow in ultra melodramatic fashion.

“That’s from Pyramus and Thisbe the play within a play in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, you ninny!” Mitzi grabs her parasol umbrella from the stage hand off stage so she can hit Wilkie over the head with it.

Wilkie pulls off a piece of paper he has stapled to his tail.

“Those are the lines from King Lear you have there!” Mitzi approaches menacingly with her umbrella.

“King Leer!” Wilkie protests too much, “I’m no King Leer! You must think me a voyeur of some importance.”

The disgraced Pee-wee Herman walks across stage holding a pair of binoculars through which his eyes are peering.

Wilkie rips out a piece of paper that’s stapled to his tongue, reads it and cries out, “Soft you now, the fair Ophelia!”.

Mitzi casts her parasol to the stage and sighs, “Finally now, you’ve got the right play.”

At that point, Donald Trump with his toupee falling off, walks on stage and proclaims,

“In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Trump by name, present a wall…”

At that moment, the mostly Democratic Party aligned New York City audience rushes towards the stage to tear it apart (along with many in the audience who just want their money back).

As the New York City Mayor’s wife (a former lesbian) rushes on to the stage, Wilkie the Cat shouts, “Get thee to a nunnery!”.

Wilkie is then immediately attacked by New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo who tries to inject the feline with saline solution and then suck him up with a Planned Parenthood approved Electrolux vacuum cleaner.

Needless to say like every other play Wilkie had produced and directed for Broadway, the cat’s adaptation of Hamlet did not have a second night’s performance.

-A Wilkie the Cat Short Story
written by Christopher 
Tuesday August 20th
2019.

Dolores Costello with her husband John Barrymore.
Barrymore, unlike Wilkie The Cat, could perform Shakespeare.

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Haiku About South Seas Romance

August 14, 2019 at 10:28 pm (Poetry, Romance) (, )

Haiku About South Seas Romance

South Seas paradise
Polynesian goddess
Heaven on a swing

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Guns and The Music of The Night

August 12, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Poetry, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural) (, , , , )

Guns and The Music of The Night

Cosmos is truly a cosmic word
It means the whole created order 
Cosmos therefore means much more than universe
Cosmos could mean there are multiverses

In C.S. Lewis’ Narnia books, he talked of a planet where a plethora of worlds grew as trees 
Lewis was truly a visionary 
In his book That Hideous Strength 
He foresaw the rise of Transhumanist science that would occur 50 years later
And as breakthroughs in physics happen day by day 
Which seem to indicate that there are multiverses 
Lewis foresaw that too

And so in another time and another place 
In a multiverse far away
Carmen Rouge stood at the window of an early 20th Century Paris

A Paris under siege by the Kaiser’s forces 
And not stuck in the trenches of northern France during the First World War as happened in our universe

Outside the window was Carmen Rouge’s steampunk artillery gun 
Ready to bring down German aeroplanes and airships

On her small table in front of the window 
Was the candelabra her father carried 
In the depths of the Paris Opera House
Attached to the stand of the candelabra was the mask he wore 
Next to the candelabra was an old phonograph that played her father’s voice 
Her father singing to her mother,
“Softly, deftly, music shall caress you,
hear it, fear it, secretly possess you…
In this darkness which you know you cannot fight 
The darkness of the music of the night”.

For Carmen Rouge is the daughter of Christine Daae and Erik
The Phantom of the Opera

And so around this particular window
In a Paris apartment 
In another Paris
In another universe 
You have both guns
And the music of the night 

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday August 12th
2019.

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Venus In Furs

August 3, 2019 at 8:44 pm (Humour, Mythology, Poetry) (, , )

Venus In Furs

It was a night 
With much in sight 
And Ares danced
In Paris France

Temperatures were hot 
So no fox trot
Cannot do the rumba
Because of sidewalk gumba

A tango would sizzle
So leave it for drizzle 
To dance in puddles
With Gene Kelly cuddles 

Those disco nights 
would burst one’s tights 
And definitely no wind
To fly one’s kites

It’s quite the heat wave 
no night for a rave
Temperatures soar
like furnace roar

Humidity heat
To Dante’s inferno beat
A night to sweat 
Don’t walk your pet

Sidewalk egg will fry
And the hen will sigh
Fahrenheit is really high 
The fan will soon die

From overwork
It’s quite the quirk
Ice from soda jerk
Beams up James Kirk

A night you won’t forget
Like a Hellbound jet
Sauna rooms to let
Still vacant yet

And so Ares does dance
In Paris France
Minus his pair of pants
Saying take a chance

Meanwhile in her room 
On a night of doom 
Aphrodite wears 
More than perfume

Greek goddess Aphrodite goes totally insane:

Venus in furs

-A poem written by Christopher
Saturday August 3rd
2019
Inspired by the recent heat wave 
hitting Europe

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Boat Ride Reflections: A Poem

July 14, 2019 at 10:24 pm (Poetry) ()

Boat Ride Reflections: A Poem

That time of day 
When the sun has decided to make its bed 
And the moon thinks about rising to take its shower
Clouds form in the sky
Pillars of white luminosity on top
Nightly dark undershades underneath

Ripples of the river reflect the great drama taking place in sky above
And dark trees on the shoreline serve as foreshadows of the approaching night 

She stands on the deck of the riverboat 
In luminous white dress 
Heralding the luminosity of the approaching evening moon
Darkened foldings of the dress in shadow 
away from the rays of the setting sun 
Herald the darkened patches of twilight that will soon appear between moon and stars 
And star and star

In her thoughts as she stands
This moment a moment of reflection 
Between the day that was 
And the night that is to come 
All in all, it has been a good day 
And the night beckons with moon and stars 
And the sound of music from the boat’s small orchestra 

Who knows what shall unfold this night?
She knows no more the answer than the clouds above know the direction in which the wind will blow them
But at this moment 
This moment in time 
Between the departure of day 
And the arrival of night 
This moment is what she has 
As she currently lives in the present
And this moment is serene 
She shall rejoice and be glad in it.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday July 14th 
2019.

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Haiku About Rehearsing For A Gig

July 7, 2019 at 10:07 pm (Poetry) (, )

Anticipation
Waiting for just the right note
Let the music play

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Albion’s Reflections On A Rainy Night

June 19, 2019 at 10:22 pm (Detective story, Entertainment, Poetry) (, , , )

Albion’s Reflections On A Rainy Night

There was always something comforting about the sound of rain on the roof
Carson Cody Albion Private Eye couldn’t quite explain it
Maybe because it rarely rained in Southern California 
The heat of the day 
Would compete with the heat of the night 
to see who would produce 
the sweating heavyweight champion of the world

Rain allowed a cool down 
The sky’s method of baptism
On the sinning and criminality that occurred below

Albion was getting tired of all the greed and the lust and the shenanigans 
That he saw daily but more often nightly at his job

The rain kept everyone indoors 
No exchange of larceny or bodies or souls was going on in the streets outside
Just the pitter patter of gentle droplets on the roof 
Albion looked over at his dresser 
And noticed his bottle of bourbon remained untouched and unopened 

Something that was never the case on a hot and humid Los Angeles night
His head felt clear and free of headache
So this was what his room sounded like when the fan wasn’t running full blast 
One could actually hear oneself thinking 
And the rain drops on the roof were like a soothing melody

Albion reached for a stick of licorice 
rather than his usual cigarette 
Strange about the rain, Albion reflected,
It was like a return to innocence 
Maybe that’s what God was hoping with the flood in Noah’s time 

But once the sizzling heat returned
It was like eating the forbidden fruit in Eden
One had knowledge of both good and evil 
And more often than not, evil.

The private eye decided to go out 
And taste the gentle rain on his tongue
And feel the gentle rain on his skin

Albion for some reason 
(He supposed it was the influence of Philip Marlowe movies on the silver screen)
always wore a raincoat when he went out
Like advertising a trademark for Private Eye

But on a night when he should be wearing that coat for the purpose for which it was created
He did not put it on 
He went outside in a sleeveless shirt 
And let the rain wash off any dirt 
that was usually accumulated 
and came with living in Los Angeles

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday June 19th
2019.

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Father’s Day 2019: A Poem

June 16, 2019 at 10:06 pm (Poetry) (, )

Father’s Day 2019: A Poem

Sundown 
The end of the day 
Early morning
And a new life will call

You were a dad 
And a great one at that 
But now is your time 
To see the Heavenly Father’s face

Beyond the stars 
Is a beautiful place
Beyond what we can dream
And what you see is now Eternity

You were a teacher most of your life
And come June the students would close their books
And you and they would embark on holiday
It’s somehow fitting that in the month of June
you would embark on your Heavenly holiday 
A never ending story

You showed no fear 
The day you went away
You went to your Father’s hands
The birth of a new day

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday June 16th 2019.
This year’s Father’s Day.

-dedicated to my father George
who passed away 9 years ago 
today 
on June 16th 2010.

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Qonzilqointec and The Statue of A Long-Necked Crane

June 8, 2019 at 9:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec and The Statue of A Long-Necked Crane

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was in a room in the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

Dressed in an exquisite lilac purple evening gown, Qonzilqointec knelt on a neo-Louis XIV royal Bourbon blue chair alongside a modern statue of a long-necked crane raising its beak towards a lantern of good fortune.

Into the room walked her friend and lover the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

He had just returned from Jerusalem Israel where he had escorted Miranda Singh (the Executive Secretary to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set) who was beginning a top secret mission for British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“Your Highness,” Dracul addressed the Aztec vampiress, “you look the epitome of regal royalty.”

Qonzilqointec smiled, “Those weren’t the words Donald Trump spoke when I lay on his neck and threatened to drain every ounce of blood from his body unless he decided to drop the tariffs he was threatening to impose on my homeland of Mexico.”

“I see you were successful in your negotiations,” Dracul noted, “The U.S. has reached an agreement with Mexico and will not be imposing the tariffs Trump had threatened to impose starting this Monday.”

“Having lived 600 years, I have mastered the art of the deal,” She approached Dracul and gave him a non-fatal hickey.

. . .

The ghost of Orson Welles was having a spectral dream.

He dreamed of his wife Rita Hayworth as Semiramis the former Queen of Babylon speaking to a bird who was a parrot-raven hybrid created by a 1930s mad scientist forerunner of an early 21st Century Transhumanist scientist.

Said Rita as Semiramis to the parrot-raven hybrid,

“Oh bird who spoke to Poe in the bleak December
Crossed with a bird who can’t shut up and is able to remember 
The world is confused and troubled 
And about to burst an economic bubble 
Putin warns of a new arms race
Stretching from sea to outer space 
Because on arms control, the U.S. won’t negotiate 
Preferring to leave humanity’s hands up to a very dark fate
“Nevermore” you might cry
As peace dove falls from the sky 
Lenore is lost but so are we all 
The end result of Eden’s fall.

-A vampire novel chapter
and poem
written by Christopher
Saturday June 8th
2019.

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Haiku For 75th Anniversary of D-Day

June 6, 2019 at 8:30 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , )


Normandy’s beaches
The ultimate sacrifice
But spirit lives on

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