Dr. Marmalade Montague and The Alien Saviour

December 14, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Science, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Set Enterprises’ eccentric researcher Dr. Marmalade Montague was talking to Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

“I’ve been studying cults and their methods of mind control,” Dr. Montague commented.

“That’s nice,” Dr. Rocher remarked as he was studying his great-grandmother’s recipe for duck a l’orange with which he intended to surprise his wife and family on Christmas Day.

“Did you know that there are a few cults that use drugs as a form of mind control?” Dr. Montague pointed out.

“I’ve heard that,” Dr. Rocher wondered why Sherrielock Holmes (his immortal and forever youthful great-grandmother) would add Bavarian wild mushrooms to Duck a l’Orange.

“Do you know there are some Vatican cardinals who are expecting the arrival of an alien saviour?” Montague had had this information relayed to him by Samhaim Cardinal Salaman.

“Do you mean alien as in immigrant refugee?” Dr. Rocher was baffled by the adding of cranberries to Duck a l’orange.

“No, alien as in ET,” Dr. Montague answered.

“ET?” Dr. Rocher looked up from the adding of black licorice whips, Welch’s blue grape juice and tomatoed buns to Duck a l’orange.

“As in Extraterrestrial visitor from another world,” Dr. Montague took off his tin foil Viking helmet with buffalo horns.

“Wow, that is different,” Dr. Rocher returned to his recipe.

“Do you suppose Pope Francis believes in an alien ET saviour since all indications are he doesn’t seem to believe in Jesus Christ as true God incarnate as man?” Dr. Montague inquired.

“I have no idea,” Dr. Rocher was wondering whether he shouldn’t try a recipe for lasagne a la Giordano Bruno that he had just found on the Internet rather than his great-grandmother’s recipe for Duck a l’orange.

“Do you suppose Pope Francis reads Chinese?” Montague inquired.

“Don’t know,” Dr. Montague phoned Lydo’s of London Chinese Food at 426-5050 Baker Street as he was starting to get the munchies after smoking his hybrid t-rex giraffe Julius’ Rastafarian peace pipe.

“Because he approved the CCP’s Chinese translation of the Bible to be used by the Catholic Church in China,” Dr. Montague pointed out.

“Well that would make more sense than approving a Hebridean Gaelic translation of the Bible to be used by the Catholic Church in China,” Dr. Rocher remarked.

“Well, you know the Gospel of John Chapter 8 verses 3 to 11 where the Pharisees present Christ with the woman taken in adultery and say she should be stoned (as in rocks thrown at her not in the psychedelic sense) to death in accordance with Moses’ law and Christ says, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” and so all the Pharisees left and didn’t stone her?” Dr. Montague explained.

“I seem to recall that story from Sunday School,” Dr. Rocher sipped some milk and ate some cookies.”

“Well in the CCP approved Chinese Bible translation of that chapter and verse, Jesus says, “I am a sinful man myself and even though I am a sinful man, I am going to fulfill the law” and he picks up the rocks and stones her to death himself,” Dr. Montague noted.

“What?” This time Dr. Rocher was genuinely shocked, “Jesus Christ is presented as both a sinful man and a murderer in the CCP Chinese Bible translation that Pope Francis approved?”.

“He is,” Dr. Montague nodded.

“Wow,” Dr. Rocher was stunned by this news.

“So maybe Francis is more a Vicar of an Alien Saviour rather than a Vicar of Christ,” Dr. Montague noted.

“And maybe someone in the Vatican wants to use drugs (like in a mind control cult that uses drugs for mind control),” Dr. Montague went on, “to get the world’s population to accept a supposedly alien ET saviour when he arrives.”

“How would you get most of the world’s population to use this drug to accept someone as an alien ET saviour?” Dr. Rocher asked.

“What,” Dr. Montague went on like an enthusiastic Sherlock Holmes at 221 B Baker Baker Street, “if it was put into a vaccine to battle what is called a worldwide pandemic?”.


This year’s 2020 Sci-Fi Cyborg Nativity Scene in Saint Peter’s Square:
Conditioning humanity to accept an Alien ET Saviour?


Aliens, aliens, everywhere and not a drop to drink?
But what about a drug rush?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 14th
2020.

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Fighting Covid Communism On The Feast Day of Blessed Miguel Pro

November 23, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“Today is the Feast Day of Blessed Miguel Pro a Mexican priest who was executed on this date (November 23rd) back in 1927 by the pro-Communist government of Mexican President Plutarcho Elias Calles for daring to say Mass during government imposed lockdowns.
Apparently there was some sort of virus that the Mexican Communist government claimed was raging through the country at the time.
Any resemblance between the Mexico of the 1920s and the world of the 2020s is purely coincidental.
It’s as the late French President Gen. Charles de Gaulle once said, “The more things change, the more they remain the same”.”
-Rev. Fr. Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds, friend of Amadeus Emanon and British MP Renfield R. Renfield

“Of course the official reason the Calles government gave,” Father Saint Edmunds explained to Dulcinea Lucia, “was that Father Miguel was involved in the assassination attempt on the life of former Mexican President Alvaro Obregon. But it was a trumped up charge.”

“Do you think any current governments would execute priests for saying Mass during current Covid lockdowns?” Dulcinea Lucia asked.

“Well I imagine the current Irish government would like to try it,” Father Saint Edmunds reflected aloud, “As well as New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo and California Gov. Gavin Newsom. Probably a few other U.S. governors and Mayors as well if they had the power.”

. . .

Today Pope Francis met with NBA players and NBA league executives to discuss social justice in the United States.

The story was to be announced and reported on a London England local radio station by news announcer Bertie Birmingham.

The station news producer asked the sound man, “Where’s Bertie Birmingham? I haven’t seen him.”

“He’s come down with laryngitis,” the sound engineer answered, “although Britain’s NHS are marking it down on their charts as Covid-19 in compliance with current World Health Organization regulations.”

“Then who’s filling in for Bertie on this news broadcast?” The producer demanded to know.

“Renfield R. Renfield,” the sound engineer replied.

“Shit,” the producer hit his forehead.

Renfield was already starting to report live on-air on the Pope Francis meets NBA story adding his own Renfieldian ad libs, “The Commie loving fag Jesuit on the throne of Peter meets with Commie loving ‘woke’ NBA BLM thug SJWs…”

. . .

The ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. had just been given a daily dispensational pass from the Underworld of Hades and he was currently being interviewed by the ghost of noted British interviewer David Frost who likewise had been given the same daily pass.

“Well you know David I never thought I’d live to see the day that a Communist sodomite was sitting on the throne of Peter and of course I didn’t,” Buckley’s ghost had a wry glint in his eye, “However I have been informed that the Communist wilting flower Francis is soon to be releasing a new book in English (ghost written by somebody else since Francis seems to have a Joe Biden like problem when it comes to coherently expressing himself in the English language or, in the pontiff’s case, expressing himself coherently in any language for that matter) called Let Us Dream in which he sets forth his global Marxist-Leninist nightmare vision for the world. He also seems to suggest that anti-Communists in the world of politics, media, religion and the arts in our current Covid times are comparable to those promoting Nazi and Fascist policies in the 1930s. He seems to forget that that great British gentleman Winston Churchill was both anti-Nazi/Fascist and anti-Communist.”

“So what do you think of today’s world?” Frost asked Buckley.

“Well just today Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping just announced that he’d like to see every citizen on earth, not just in China but on the entire planet, embedded with their own personal bar code,” Buckley’s ghost winced, “and of course Klaus Schwab, Bill Gates and various Transhumanist global technocrats are working on that just in time for our post-Covid world.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 23rd
2020.


This woman says she’ll not be taking the Mark of the Beast which is being promoted by Covid Communists and globalist Transhumanist technocrats.

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Oath of Personal Loyalty To Pope Francis: The New World Order Approacheth

November 13, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, Sorcery, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a conversation with his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype.

“So Amadeus,” Renfield was eating a tuna fish sandwich, “The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has discovered the oath of personal loyalty to Pope Francis that all Catholics -lay, clergy, monks and nuns will have to take next year or face automatic excommunication from the Catholic Church.”

“What the–!” Amadeus looked shocked with horror.

“Yes, it’s as Hector Barbossa’s ghost said to Miss Elizabeth Swann in the very first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, “You better start believing in ghost stories, Missy, you’re living in one.” So to bring it up to date,” Renfield noted, “You better start believing in dystopian movies, Amadeus, you’re living in one. And so is everybody else in this decade of the 2020s.”

“How did you uncover this oath?” Amadeus had stopped eating which was rare for him.

“Long story,” Renfield sipped his whisky, “It was a priest in Mexico who wrote the original oath – in Spanish. It is now being translated into all languages. The copy Set Enterprises has is the one to be said in the Anglican Ordinariates of the Catholic Church next year. Back in November 2009, Pope Benedict XVI issued an Apostolic Constitution Anglicanorum Coetibus by which Anglicans would be allowed to enter the Catholic Church in full Communion with the Bishop of Rome but at the same time would be be able to maintain some of their Anglican traditions and liturgy. For this purpose, 3 Anglican Ordinariates were created in the Catholic Church across the world. They are the Personal Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham in the United Kingdom, the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of Saint Peter in North America and the Personal Ordinariate of Our Lady of the Southern Cross in Australia. This copy of the oath Set Enterprises obtained is the one to be said in all those 3 Anglican Ordinariates.”

“What does the oath say?” Amadeus inquired.

I believe in Pope Francis as the legitimate successor of the Apostle Peter. I believe that the Holy Ghost speaks to the Church through him. I believe that he guides the Catholic Church as a true Pastor. I believe that he is diligently concerned with all of humanity, because we are all brothers and sons of God. I believe in his magisterium, which is in perfect harmony with the faith and morals of the Church. I believe that his personal opinions reflect the evangelical attitudes of the believers in Christ. I reject all offenses, aspersions and insults towards his person. As for those who reject his authority, I affirm that they are in ecclesiastical error as much as in error of communion.

We ask all of this of Thee, O Lord, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Renfield finished reading the oath.

“He sounds like the False Prophet of the Book of Revelation Chapter 13,” whispered an astounded and shocked Amadeus.

“No other Pope in history has required a personal oath of loyalty to himself,” Renfield nodded, “Requiring an oath of personal loyalty to a leader is more Stalinist and Maoist than Catholic.”

“We are all living in a dystopian novel,” Amadeus sighed.

“Yes,” Renfield nodded, “In a plot conceived by a group of Soviet KGB officers in the late 1980s, a 30 year plan was launched beginning in 1990. By having the USSR collapse and the Communist dictatorships of Central and Eastern Europe freed, the West was lulled into thinking Communism was dead. Nothing could be further from the truth. The plan was for a Marxist-Leninist U.S. If the United States went Communist, the whole world would go Communist. The final linchpin would be President Hillary. But a modern day would be Julius Caesar named Donald Trump upset their plans in 2016. So all stops were pulled out. Including a bio-engineered virus from the Wuhan Institute of Virology being intentionally released on the world. As the world’s whole population put on face masks and cowered in their homes in lockdown, the Neo-Bolsheviks were planning the most daring global coup of our time. Instead of Leonard Cohen’s First we take Manhattan and then we take Berlin, it was first we take the Papacy and then we take the Presidency. Francis belongs to the Neo-Bolsheviks and if they can put an end to Trump’s recounts, Communist stooge Biden will take the Presidency and then Hillary Clinton’s Apostolic Successor Kamala Harris. Only a true artist could come up with such a plan. The demon in Hell who came up with it must be congratulated as a true artist.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Chrisopher
Friday November 13th
2020.

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Pope Francis Has Dinner With Baphomet

October 21, 2020 at 10:35 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Samhain Cardinal Salaman the former professional stage magician turned Cardinal was having a telephone interview with his former ghostly stage apprentice Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander reporter for The Times of London.

“Well,” Samhain Cardinal Salaman began, “Pope Francis has decided to mark the one year anniversary of Austrian Catholic layman Alexander Tschugguel throwing the Pachamama idols into the Tiber River by announcing that he’s in favour of sodomite civil unions.”

“How was the announcement made?” Belvedere wrote swiftly in his spectral notebook with his spectral quill pen.

“Through the world premiere of a movie that Pope Francis had shown in Rome today,” Salaman answered, “The movie is called Francesco and is about Pope Francis’ favourite person of all time Pope Francis and his agenda for a pro-Sodom and Gomorrah Communist utopia that he envisions for a post pandemic world.”

Meanwhile in his Vatican apartment, Pope Francis was having dinner with the demon Baphomet to celebrate the occasion.

An Amazon River rainforest guinea pig was suckling milk off the Baphomet’s female breasts as the demon was seated enjoying Black Forest venison and a glass of red wine.

The demon Baphomet is of course part goat and part human as well as part male and part female.

Francis called out to his chef as he ate his own plate of venison, “Luigi, this particular brand of salt seasoning you used on this venison is supurb. Where did you get the salt?.”

“From the Midde East, oh great Vicar of Cthulhu and Mictlantecuhtli,” Luigi answered, “From a pillar of salt.”

“A pillar of salt?” Francis raised his left eyebrow.

“It was apparently called Lot’s Wife by the locals for some reason and was said to have to stood in that one spot for millenia,” Luigi explained, “A group of Jesuit archeaologists this past summer who were excavating by day and having Dionysian Apollo and Hyacinth gay sex orgies by night decided to bring back the pillar of salt with them and presented it to my kitchen. I decided to save the salt for a special occasion and today marks the first time I’ve used it.”

“Lot’s wife?” Pope Francis rubbed his chin 🤔, “That name sounds familiar for some reason.”

“I believe it’s mentioned in the Bible, your Non-Holiness,” Luigi bowed and went back to his kitchen.

“Hm, it’s been ages since I last read that book,” Francis thought as he sipped his wine.

Meanwhile Amorous Laetitia the familiar black cat of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft strolled up on to the table.

A large saucer of Baileys Irish Cream (which she preferred to milk) had been left out for her.

She eagerly licked it up and then pranced off meowing, “Hic! Meow! Hic! Meow! Hic! Meow!”.

Up on the window ledge, Cernunnos the Celtic stag horned god was holding his cross-bow and arrow.

The part stag part human deity was pissed that Francis and the Baphomet were eating deer meat.

Cernunnos fired his bow.

The arrow took off Francis’ papal white cap and continued on its way striking the Baphomet in the left testicle.

Francis’ papal white cap on the Baphomet’s left testicle was somehow highly symbolic of how the day went.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 21st
2020.

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Stalinist Demonic Sex Orgy Forum Held At Georgetown University

September 2, 2020 at 10:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was talking with his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype.

He was showing Amadeus video of a recent Georgetown University on-line forum called Pope Francis and The Reform of The Church.

Renfield and Amadeus were viewing the forum video using The Dr. Cadbury Rocher Supernatural Entity Detector Lens.

The three headed dog Cerberus was seen carrying around a poster that the great Renaissance painter and sculptor Michelangelo who resided in the Elysian Fields (referred to as the Church Expectant In Paradise in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer) had drawn and designed for the on-line forum.

Below the block letters POPE FRANCIS AND THE REFORM OF THE CHURCH could be seen Pope Francis operating a crane with a wrecking ball that was totally demolishing Saint Peter’s Basilica while the figure of the Blessed Virgin Mary could be seen weeping in the background.

The crane bore the logo Baal and Baphomet Wrecking Co. on it.

And speaking of Baal and Baphomet, they were also present at the on-line forum overseeing a group of demons who were all engaged in various sexual positions with one another.

Also present were the ghosts of Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung, Fidel Castro and Pol Pot who had all been granted day passes from their rotating barbeque spits down in Tartarus to attend the forum.

The August 31st Georgetown forum was sponsored by Georgetown University’s Office of The Vice-President For Global Engagement (the coat of arms for the office, designed by the Dutch Renaissance painter Hieronymus Bosch, showed a sexually perverted deviant satyr and a sexually perverted deviant centaur getting it on with one another in an orgiastic menage a trois that also involved a Pope Francis blessed wooden statue of the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama).

Addressing the forum was Paul Elie a senior fellow at Georgetown’s Berkeley Center For Religion, Peace and World Affairs.

Mr. Elie was wearing a shirt that had been spraypainted (in glow in the dark ultraviolet light) with the words GLOBALIST WINDBAG.

Said Mr. Elie, “I think there’s active resistance to Pope Francis taking place in the United States.”

“Brilliant deduction,” piped up the ghost of Sherlock Holmes who was sitting in the front row of the empty (except entirely covered by copulating demons) auditorium, “What clued you in?”.

Mr. Elie then went on blathering about the Catholic social teaching of Pope Francis as Josef Stalin handed him a copy of Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto and Mao Tse-tung handed him a copy of Mao’s Little Red Book.

Next to mince up on the forum stage was some flaming dandy named Austen Ivereigh who had written two books on Pope Francis’ pontificate and was currently working on a third (“Talk about Much ado about nothing!” Renfield remarked to Amadeus).

Whined Ivereigh, “Critics of Pope Francis are denying that he’s led by the Holy Spirit.”

The fallen angel Mephistopheles, who was sitting in the back row of the auditorium, started choking on his hot buttered popcorn and his jumbo glass of Coca-Cola when Ivereigh talked about Pope Francis being led by the Holy Spirit.

As Mephistopheles continued to roll on the floor in huge gales of laughter amidst all that spilled popcorn and spilled Coke, Ivereigh continued snivelling, “To charge that Pope Francis is a heretic or a modernist or to claim that he’s trying to change the fundamentals of the Church is signs of a schismatic mentality.”

At that moment in the Vatican, Pope Francis was asking his valet, “Have you seen my keys?”.

“What keys would those be?’ His valet asked.

“The Keys of Saint Peter,” Francis answered.

“Oh, you lost those keys several years back,” his valet noted.

Then a third person, the oh so perfectly curly haired dandy Argentine Father Augusto Zampini of the Vatican Dicastery For Promoting Integral Human Development pirouetted his way on to the forum stage.

Father Zampini lavished praise on the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus for opening up the way for Pope Francis to accelerate his church “reforms” and his plans for global governance on the world.

“The Pope doesn’t have a Stalinist plan for the Church,” Zampini insisted.

“Well,” Renfield remarked to Amadeus, “When the Vatican representative to this year’s Davos Conference in Switzerland says that the Pope doesn’t have a Stalinist plan for the Church, you can rest assured that the Pope has a Stalinist plan for the Church.”

“May the Pope have many divisions at his beck and call,” Stalin’s ghost grinned.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 2nd
2020.

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Michelangelo Sees Bishop Barron’s Destination

December 19, 2019 at 11:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Michelangelo Sees Bishop Barron’s Destination

Amadeus Emanon was reading a newspaper story about how writer J.K. Rowling was defending a woman who had lost her employment tribunal hearing.

The Harry Potter author tweeted in support of Maya Forstater, 45, who was fired from her job at the poverty think tank The Centre For Global Development over a series of tweets she wrote questioning government plans to allow people to self-identify as another gender besides male and female.

Maya Forstater appealed her dismissal to the Central London Employment Tribunal.

And the Central London Employment Tribunal (which the ghost of Josef Stalin down in Tartarus admitted was a bureaucratic reincarnation of one of his old Stalinist Soviet tribunals) upheld Maya Forstater’s dismissal.

Ms. Rowling said she stood with Maya against the tribunal’s crushing of her freedom of opinion.

One snivelling politically correct crybaby in the article who opposed Ms. Rowling’s support (no doubt a disciple of Voldemort in the real world) said, “Nobody is suggesting she shouldn’t be allowed her opinion. But it’s dangerous language that harms people. She should be held accountable for it.”

Amadeus read the quote to his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Renfield commented, “I can just imagine the high-pitched whiny lisp with which that statement is uttered. By another gender confused person. No doubt this fellow who writes down ? next to the gender box on forms they fill out is some politically correct liberal asshole. And of course a politically correct liberal asshole is someone who says, “Everyone has the right to my own opinion.” And if you don’t happen to share the same opinion as the aforesaid politically correct liberal asshole, they’ll come after you with the full force of the state and the bureaucracy in the most Stalinesque terms imaginable. Accusing you of promoting hatred. And they define “hatred” as anything that disagrees with their own opinion.”

“So a Neo-Stalinism is on the rise in the governments, bureaucracies, media and corporations of the Western world?” Amadeus asked.

“Yes,” Renfield nodded, “It’s called Political Correctness. And most politically correct liberal assholes are either too stupid or too dishonest to realize that they don’t truly believe in freedom of speech and freedom of opinion. Their thinking always is, “Oh yes, I believe in freedom of speech and freedom of opinion BUT….”

. . .

Michelangeo the Psychic Lobster in his aquarium at Set Enterprises suddenly had a vision of the future.

A momentary glimpse of part of Judgement Day when Jesus Christ Lord of the Cosmos sat on the Throne of Judgement.

Bishop Robert Barron was being cast into the “outer darkness where there is much weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Oh well, Michelangelo thought to himself, Bishop Barron now personally knows the answer to that question he’s always posing, “Dare we hope that all men are saved?”.

It turned out Pope Francis personally found out the answer to that question as well.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 19th
2019.

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Canada’s Throne Speech and Krampus Carries Off Vienna’s Cardinal Schonborn

December 5, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Canada’s Throne Speech and Krampus Carries Off Vienna’s Cardinal Schonborn

“So,” Amadeus asked his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield, “Did you hear that after Justin Trudeau had finished making fun of Donald Trump at the Buckingham Palace reception the other night, he grabbed a box of opium laced catnip, came out to the Set Estate, gave the opium laced catnip to the Boss’ guard and watch cat Nefertiti Galore to send her off to La-La-Land and then proceeded to engage in mystical communion with the pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever?”.

“I heard that,” Renfield acknowledged after he watched the garbage men sanitation engineers getting high after emptying the garbage cans containing Nefertiti Galore’s cat litter.

“I assume that Justin then probably met his alien friend Gali-Gula the ET gray from Planet Nibiru who’s possessed by the spirit of the ancient Roman Emperor Caligula?” Amadeus ate his toast.

“Harvey Tallbanger tells me that he did,” Renfield nodded, “Gali-Gula helped Trudeau write the Canadian Governor-General’s Speech From The Throne which was read today at the opening of the new session of the Canadian Parliament in Ottawa.”

Amadeus read from the Canadian throne speech on his laptop the following words, “We all share the same space/time continuum on the same planetary spaceship.”

“I think Justin was not the only one inhaling Strawberry Fields Forever’s exhaled pot smoke,” Renfield remarked, “Gali-Gula must have imbibed a great deal as well to pen that whopper of a line.”

“Moving on to another subject,” Amadeus read to Renfield the following news item, “It was announced this past December 3rd that Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen who was 20th Century America’s greatest Roman Catholic evangelist and preacher has had his beatification ceremony postponed. He was supposed to be beatified this coming December 21st but the ceremony has been postponed. Apparently the first time in Church history that a beatification ceremony has been postponed. What’s up with that?”.

“Apparently certain members of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops objected to Sheen being beatified,” Renfield replied.

“Why would they object to Sheen being beatified?” Amadeus inquired.

“Because Sheen was a staunch anti-Communist and what’s more he was truly intellectual and scholarly in his anti-Communism unlike most members of the John Birch Society. Therefore true Communists detested Sheen even more than they did the John Birch Society whom they just regarded as a bunch of “proletarian deplorables”. An elitist attitude still shared by 21st Century female Marxist candidates for President.”

“You’re saying certain members of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops are Communists?” Amadeus was shocked.

“Yes, either Communist or predatory homosexual (who sexually assault altar boys and young seminarians) or both,” Renfield nodded, “Sheen did not get along well with the predatory homosexual Archbishop of New York City Francis Cardinal Spellman. Hence Spellman’s modern day disciples among the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops can’t stand Sheen either.”

“Wow,” Amadeus shook his head.

“Elizabeth Scalia an airheaded associate of the ludicrous Bishop Robert Barron who thinks Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot are in Heaven since there’s nobody in Hell according to his Dare We Hope That All Are Saved? Theology (both Jesus of Nazareth and Raymond Red Reddington of The Blacklist could easily tell him “No.”) tried to say that Sheen himself was gay by calling him a “flouncy” in one of her Twitter tweets. She obviously never saw the episode of What’s My Line? where Archbishop Sheen as a guest easily charmed the women panelists. Most women can easily tell whether a man is gay or not unless of course they’re as stupid as Elizabeth Scalia.”

“Who’s leading the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops’ charge against Bishop Sheen’s beatification?” Amadeus inquired.

“The spirit of Antichrist filled Archbishop of New York City Timothy Cardinal Dolan and the spirit of Antichrist filled Archbishop of Chicago Blaise Cardinal Cupich,” Renfield answered, “The usual suspects.”

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was walking the streets of Vienna the Austrian capital.

He stood in front of Saint Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna where recently a Baphomet worshipping music and dance concert was held there with the permission of Christoph Cardinal Schonborn the Archbishop of Vienna.

As Whitstable stood there, he suddenly noticed Cardinal Schonborn himself walking down the street.

Suddenly Krampus the infamous half-goat half demon who used to follow around the saintly bishop Saint Nicholas came down the street.

Krampus was carrying his bag full of naughty individuals he was taking to Hell on this Krampusnacht (the evening of December 5th- the night before the Feast Day of Saint Nicholas which was December 6th).

Krampus picked up Cardinal Schonborn with his hairy arms and threw him into his bag.

He then went down a sewer no doubt on his way to Hell.

Whitstable bought himself a candy cane from a street corner Santa Claus.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 5th
2019.


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec singing at a concert hall in Vienna while outside in the streets, Krampus is carrying Vienna’s screaming Archbishop Cardinal Schonborn in a bag on his way to Hell.

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Pachamama In The Tiber

December 1, 2019 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Pachamama In The Tiber

The Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama was floating down the Tiber River

“I thought all the Pachamamas were rescued from the Tiber River back in late October,” Samhain Cardinal Salaman mentioned to Pope Francis.

“The authorities must have missed one,” Pope Francis had to admit as the pair walked along the banks of the Tiber River.

The pontiff’s Huawei smart phone went off.

It was a phone call from George Soros.

Francis blabbed for a few minutes while Cardinal Salaman watched Pachamama swim to shore.

As the Inca goddess exited the Tiber, Francis’ Huawei went off again.

American economist Jeffrey Sachs joined the conversation.

Cardinal Salaman watched Pachamama enter a Rolls-Royce limousine.

“Unless that Rolls-Royce is an extremely rare electric model that doesn’t run on fossil fuels, I don’t think it’s very climate friendly,” Cardinal Salaman thought to himself.

Bono then joined the party line conversation with Pope Francis followed a few moments later by Lev Tomi the Secretary-General of The UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.

Cardinal Salaman left Francis to yack with his globalist friends as he went to find himself a nice taverna where he could buy a nice glass of red wine.

Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders from the U.S. and former Bolivian President Evo Morales (currently living in exile in Mexico) joined the phone conversation as well as with Pope Francis and the others.

Seeing as how it was a Huawei mobile that Francis was yacking into, the entire conversation was being monitored by the People’s Republic of China Ministry of State Security.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday December 1st
2019.

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Evo Morales Resignation or One Night In Bolivia Minus Karl and The Marx Brothers

November 10, 2019 at 11:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Evo Morales Resignation or One Night In Bolivia Minus Karl and The Marx Brothers

Bolivian President Evo Morales has resigned today.

The resignation followed weeks of protests after his disputed re-election last month.

On the night of the October 20th Bolivian Presidential election, the results count was inexplicably stopped for 24 hours.

When the so-called final result was announced the next night, it gave Señor Morales more than the 10% lead over his nearest opponent for him to be declared the outright winner in the first round of the race.

His opponent and his supporters disputed the results citing irregularities with the vote.

Today auditors with the Organization of American States which had monitored the elections said it had found evidence of wide-spread data manipulations and could not certify the results of the poll.

Hillary Clinton was unavailable in Bolivia to blame the whole thing on Russian assets.

It was a call by the Bolivian Army Chief General Williams Kaliman today that finally convinced Morales to resign.

Behind the scenes however, Evo Morales was expecting supernatural intervention to keep him in power.

The ancient Inca Earth Mother Goddess Pachamama had blessed some soil and grasses in the Vatican Gardens at a female shaman led invocation ceremony for the goddess on Friday October 4th last month in which Pope Francis had participated and gave his papal blessing.

A few years back during a papal visit to Bolivia, President Evo Morales had given Francis a Crucifix which showed Christ nailed to a Soviet style hammer and sickle.

Now Francis would return the favour by getting Pachamama to keep Morales in power.

Soil and grass was blessed by Pachamama at the Vatican Gardens on Friday October 4th.

A group of Communist Cardinals and bishops had signed a new Pact of the Catacombs in the Catacombs of Domitilla on Sunday October 20th of last month (the same date as the first round of the Bolivian Presidential election) in which they had invoked the blessings of Pachamama on the pact they called the Pact of The Catacombs For The Common Home.

The next day a group of Catholic traditionalists had gone into the Church of Santa Maria In Traspontina (where the papal and shaman and Inca goddess blessed) Vatican Gardens Pachamama statues were located and took them out of the Church and cast them off a bridge into the Tiber River.

To add insult to injury, the men never even bothered to throw in bottles of the variety of environmentally friendly shampoo that was Pachamama’s favourite so she could have at least shampooed her hair as she floated down the river.

But on Sunday October 27th the goddess blessed Pachamama grasses and soil were put in a planter pot and given to Pope Francis to be presented as a gift along with the Communion bread and wine on the High Altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica at the closing Mass of the Amazon Synod.

On Monday October 28th a pact was signed between the Vatican and the United Nations to establish a one world government by the year 2030.

Present at the signing were U2 singer Bono and economist Jeffrey Sachs.

Pope Francis gave the planter pot of Pachamama blessed plants and soil to Bono.

Morales was hoping that the planter pot would eventually wind up in his possession.

However thanks to a blabber mouth headless horseman and his tap dancing horse, a copy of the Pact of The Catacombs For A Common Home eventually found its way into the hands of the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

And as for the planter pot of Pachamama blessed plants and soil, an Irish cow guided by an Irish leprechaun visited the Bono estate in Ireland with the said cow eating the plants and the said leprechaun vacuuming up the soil.

This incident which happened this past Friday night November 8th sent Pachamama into a deep state of depression which not even a combination of herbal tea and Saint John’s Wort was able to fix.

As such Pachamama was in no condition to impart her goddess blessings on Evo Morales when he really needed them.

As such he was forced to resign.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday November 10th
2019.

Even a combination of herbal tea and Saint John’s Wort wasn’t enough to get Pachamama to sing away those Irish cow ate my grasses and Irish leprechaun vacuumed up my soil blues.

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Pachamama, Pope Francis and A Tale of Two Parrots

October 26, 2019 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Pachamama, Pope Francis and A Tale of Two Parrots

Pope Francis was addressing a group of bishops and cardinals at the final closing session of the Synod On The Pan-Amazonian Region being held at the Vatican.

On the floor in front of where the pontiff was speaking was a carved wooden statue of Pachamama who was worshipped as the Earth Mother goddess by various Amazon rainforest and Andean mountain tribespeople as well as by the ancient Inca culture.

Directly in front of Pope Francis on the table where he held his papers and spoke from them as he read was a set of green plants and flowers.

Among the plants and flowers were two parrots.

The parrot on Pope Francis’ right (the synod audience’s left) looked very much alive as he stood tall with his eyes wide open among the flowers and plants.

The parrot on Pope Francis’ left (the synod audience’s right) looked very much dead as he lay down among the flowers and plants with his mouth perpetually open and devoid of breath or sound.

The parrot on Pope Francis’ right looking very much alive and very much on the up and up was an Australian parrot looking perky and happy do to his daily diet of Uncle Ernie’s Secret Ingredient Laced Bird Seed that was mailed daily to him from Uncle Ernie’s Secret Location in Australia.

The parrot on Pope Francis’ left looking dead and very much departed from this world was a Norwegian blue parrot (a variety of parrot made famous by the British television show Monty Python).

The Norwegian blue parrot had died pining for the fjords what with all this talk of the Amazon region going on.

. . .

In the Bolivian capital of La Paz, Bolivian President Evo Morales was angry.

Not because people were in the streets protesting against his winning an unprecedented fourth presidential term but because Donald Trump had misspelled the Bolivian President’s name wrong in a tweet.

. . .

Meanwhile on the streets of Rome, an off duty member of the Swiss Guards was heading home late from work after a day spent guarding a set of Pachamama statues that had recently been rescued from the Tiber River.

Suddenly a sewer hole on the street suddenly blew its top and a huge flame of fire soared from the open sewer hole into the air.

In the midst of the huge flame of fire was a fierce looking dragon.

The dragon gazed ferociously and menacingly at the off duty Swiss Guard.

As for the Guardsman, he didn’t know what to think.

This could possibly be a hallucination brought on by imbibing too much of Pope Francis’ pet Australian parrot’s bird seed that he had swiped from the parrot’s bird seed dish when neither pontiff nor parrot were looking.

The dragon suddenly shapeshifted into a beautiful woman who approached him:

“Evening, Miss,” the Guardsman smiled as his sword rose to greet her.

The woman reached down the low-cut front of her dress, pulled out a knife and stabbed him.

She continued to walk down the street heading towards the Vatican.

The off-duty Guardsman dying decided to spend his last minutes on earth checking his lottery ticket.

He removed the lottery ticket from his coat pocket and his smart phone from his pants pocket and proceeded to google tonight’s winning lottery number for the grand prize of €10 million.

They matched.

“Unholy shit,” the Guardsman noted aloud with more than a huge trace of irony, “I win the lottery the same night I’m about to kick the bucket.”

He expired.

Fate can be cruel at times.

If a departed Norwegian blue parrot in the synod hall at the Vatican could talk, he’d undoubtedly agree.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 26th
2019.

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