The Great Eastern Orthodox Schism

October 16, 2018 at 10:27 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The Great Eastern Orthodox Schism

Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane had prayed to God The Father that all His Apostles be one.

But the plans of men with their free will undid His prayer.

The Egyptian Coptic and Ethiopian Churches broke with Rome and Constantinople in the 5th Century AD.

The Great Schism of 1054 broke communion between Rome and Constantinople leading to the formation of the Catholic Church in the West and The Eastern Orthodox Church in the East.

Martin Luther’s Protestant revolt of 1517 led to the formation of the Protestant Church and the Protestants have been dividing up into more and more different denominations ever since.

The Church of England under Henry VIII broke Communion with the Pope of Rome in 1536.

And since that time the Anglican Communion has been a strange union of people who share the same Sacramental view of the Church as that held by the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches united with people in the same Communion who hold the non-sacramental view of the Church held by Calvin, Zwingli and some of the other major 16th Century Protestant Reformers.

There had never been a major schism in the Eastern Orthodox Church until today- Tuesday October 16th 2018 when the Russian Orthodox Church under the Patriarch of Moscow announced that it was no longer in Communion with the Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople.

What brought about the schism between Moscow and Constantinople was Patriarch Bartholomew of Constantinople’s decision of Thursday October 11th 2018 to recognize autocephaly for the Ukrainian Orthodox Church (the Ukrainian Orthodox Church would be under its own Patriarch in Kiev rather than be under the jurisdiction of the Patriarch of Moscow).

The move angered Patriarch Kirill of Moscow a staunch Russian nationalist ally of Russian President Vladimir Putin.

The whole political and military conflict between Kiev and Moscow over Crimea and Eastern Ukraine 🇺🇦 had now entered the religious-theological realm of Eastern Orthodoxy.

So now the 150 million members of the Russian Orthodox Church are now out of Communion with the 110 million members of the other Eastern Orthodox Churches whose nominal and titular head is the Patriarch of Constantinople.

Although other branches of the Eastern Orthodox Church in Eastern Europe may choose to forego Communion with Constantinople in order to remain in good standing with both the Russian Church and State.

The really big question at the moment is what will the Serbian Orthodox Church now do?

Serbia had always been strong allies with Moscow.

It was the strong and enduring alliance and friendship between Serbia and Russia that led to the First World War when the Austro-Hungarian Empire (backed by the Imperial Germany of the Kaiser Wilhelm II) declared war on Serbia for what Vienna saw as Belgrade’s involvement in the Sarajevo Bosnia-Herzegovina assassination of the Austrian ArchDuke Franz Ferdinand.

Russia in response declared war on Austro-Hungary leading to a bunch of European powers declaring war on one another the next couple of months.

It was U.S. President Bill Clinton’s decision to bomb Serbia in the spring of 1999 to grant Kosovo independence from Serbia that led Russian President Boris Yeltsin to adopt a less friendly attitude towards the West and to name the Russian ultra-nationalist former KGB agent and then FSB head Vladimir Putin to the position of Prime Minister of Russia in August 1999.

During the last days of December 1999 Yeltsin resigned as President and named Vladimir Putin his successor.

And Vladimir Putin has either been President or Prime Minister of Russia ever since.

And the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva had now been given the go-ahead by her boss the Supreme Leader of The Russian Federation to go ahead and bump off Patriarch Bartholomew of Constantinople.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 16th
2018

Advertisements

Permalink 11 Comments

Brisbane’s Archbishop Coleridge and The Slaughter of The Albatrosses

October 3, 2018 at 10:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Humour, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Brisbane’s Archbishop Coleridge and The Slaughter of The Albatrosses

At the Vatican in Rome, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was still in heavenly bliss after spending a night making out with the Vampiress Allatallahbel’s astral body twin double the succubus Asherah who was wearing a sexy nun’s outfit of veil, short skirted habit mini dress and black silk pantyhose.

Pope Francis was still vomiting 🤮 Gadarene pigs’ feet.

He got a Get Well card from Kwan Yin the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy which gave him a recipe for a Korean pork dish with the inscription, “Try this. Korean pork is a lot healthier and less demonically possessed than Gadarene pork.”

At Brisbane in Australia 🇦🇺 meanwhile the pervert friendly and demon worshipping Roman Catholic Archbishop Mark Coleridge was having a dream where he was dressed as an ancient mariner and slaying albatrosses with a cross bow left, right and center.

A group of angry sailors angry that their ship had crashed on the rock as a result of Archbishop Coleridge slaying so many albatrosses ripped the gold pectoral Cross off from around his neck and put a necklace of albatrosses around his neck.

The Archbishop’s gods Baal and Baphomet appeared to him and said they actually preferred the necklace of albatrosses around his neck rather than the Cross.

Archbishop Coleridge went into a pub and downed several pitchers of Carlton Draught.

After doing so, the Archbishop went into a reception hall and stopped a wedding guest from entering the hall in order to tell him his story of the slaughter of the albatrosses.

The wedding guest punched Archbishop Coleridge and sent him flying across 3 oceans into a British Premier League football ⚽️ stadium.

The Archbishop decided to become a hawker of goods in the stadium and went around shouting “Albatross! Albatross!”.

“What does it taste like?” asked a spectator.

“How do I know what it tastes like?” The Archbishop retorted angrily, “It tastes like bloody sea bird bloody flavour.”

“Do you get wafers with it?” The spectator asked.

“Of course you don’t get bloody wafers with it,” Archbishop Coleridge answered as Communion wafers fell out of his ass by the truck load.

“All right, I’ll take that one then,” the spectator paid the Archbishop and the Archbishop ripped the selected albatross off his necklace of albatrosses and gave it to the man.

Archbishop Coleridge was then attacked by a zombie 🧟‍♂️ Norwegian Blue parrot tired of pining for the fjords and so brought back from the dead.

The Archbishop fell from the stands on to the field.

On the field, he was set upon and choked to death by a python 🐍 named Monty.

After kicking the bucket, Archbishop Coleridge was horrified to discover that his idol Pope Francis was wrong about Hell.

Mercifully at the moment Coleridge tumbled into the flames 🔥 while Australian singer Olivia Newton John sang, “Xanadu, your neon lights will shine for you, Xanadu” while the Mongolian Chinese Emperor Kublai Khan stood and applauded, the Archbishop suddenly woke up.

It had all been a dream.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 3rd
2018.

Permalink 19 Comments

Haiku About Elijah Vs. The Prophets of Baal

September 22, 2018 at 5:41 pm (Poetry, Religion, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , )

Mount Carmel Battle
Baal’s prophets go up in flames
Then down into flames

Permalink 4 Comments

Baphomet News Network

September 21, 2018 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Baphomet News Network

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was picking up a news broadcast from Hell- the Baphomet News Network.

Baphomet News Announcer:

Apostle of the Antichrist Father James J. Martin SJ who was appointed to the Vatican’s Secretariat For Communications last year by Apostle of the Antichrist Pope Francis has been nominated for this year’s Baphomet Apostolic Evangelization Prize.

The winner will be announced on Halloween 🎃 and the award will be presented on the River Styx on November 11th- the 100th anniversary of the end of the First World War.

In other news, the Antichrist Cardinal Archbishop of Chicago Blaise Cupich has likewise been nominated for this year’s Baphomet Apostolic Evangelization Prize for saying that sexual molestation of children by priests is not as important an issue as “proper recycling to help the environment”.

Of course pedophile priest Father Richard McGrath, who suddenly retired last December as administrator of a Catholic High School in New Lennox, Illinois after naked pictures of boys was found on his cell phone, was granted permission by Antichrist Chicago Archbishop Cardinal Blaise Cupich to retire to a monastery in Chicago which was just steps away from Saint Thomas The Apostle Grade School.

No word yet on how Father McGrath’s penance is coming along.

Meanwhile it turns out that Archbishop Richard McCarrick who had to resign as a Cardinal for his protection of pedophile priests (his resignation brought personal heartbreak to Pope Francis) was instrumental in negotiating a breakthrough on the state of the Catholic Church in China 🇨🇳 with the Beijing Government of Chinese President Xi Jinping (who is probably the biggest satanic megalomaniac to govern China 🇨🇳 since the late Chairman Mao Tse-tung).

The agreement is a total sellout and surrender to the Christ hating totalitarian regime in Beijing who will now be the ones responsible for appointing all bishops for the Catholic Church in China 🇨🇳.

Pope Francis is said to be as pleased as punch about the upcoming agreement.

Back in February 2016, Archbishop McCarrick told The Global Times in an exclusive interview that “the similarities between Pope Francis and Xi Jinping are a special gift for the world.”

As such, Archbishop McCarrick is also nominated for this year’s Baphomet Apostolic Evangelization Prize.

Archbishop McCarrick also enjoyed cordial relations with Bishop Aloysius Jin of Shanghai a Marxist Jesuit priest.

California Rep. Nancy Pelosi served as go-between for the two men back in 2009.”

Michelangelo’s vision of the Baphomet News Network broadcast ended and the same vision that the Apostle John had on the Isle of Patmos about the woman known as Mystery Babylon suddenly appeared to him.

Meanwhile in the Vatican, Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal walked into Pope Francis’ bedroom wearing a blazing red scarlet evening dress and carrying a golden chalice overflowing with red liquid.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 21st
2018.

Permalink 12 Comments

Apple, Pomegranate… Or Me?

August 18, 2018 at 10:42 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Apple, Pomegranate… Or Me?

Three rabbis walked into a bar.

After having been in the next door delicatessen where they had bought kosher smoked meat and kosher rye bread to make sandwiches.

The three were having a violent argument.

One rabbi argued that the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden was an apple 🍎 since the logo on his Mac computer told him so.

Another rabbi argued that the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden was in fact a pomegranate since his knowledge of the location of the Garden of Eden and knowledge of Middle Eastern history and geography and botany told him so.

The third rabbi argued that it might have been a tomato 🍅 or a banana 🍌 since his leather skirted dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes and a conversation with a Muslim imam had alerted him to those possibilities.

The bartender insisted that it was a watermelon 🍉 since he owned a watermelon stand in addition to his kosher tavern business.

A hairstylist named Samson insisted that it was an avocado 🥑 since the Twitterer-In-Chief’s red spider monkey fake news hairpiece toupee had told him so.

The long-haired Samson then threw the three rabbis out of the bar and headed off to sleep with his girlfriend Delilah (a fellow hairstylist) for the night prior to having a wrestling match against Dwayne The Rock Johnson tomorrow.

Little did Samson realize that his girlfriend Delilah had placed a $500,000 bet with a Las Vegas bookie for the Rock to win.

Otherwise he might not have been so anxious to go to her place.

He arrived in her bedroom where Delilah had the betting paper 📝 with the name of the Rock on it next to a pair of scissors ✂️ on her drawer.

It was all there.

Paper. Rock. Scissors.

But sadly for him, he didn’t notice.

. . .

Eve woke up.

The blonde beauty in her black nightie mini dress had had a disturbing dream.

But for the life of her, she couldn’t remember what it was.

She thought she saw some sort of reflection in her bedroom mirror.

So she walked over for a closer look.

It was then she encountered the following (what she had dreamed about earlier):

Rose or fruit?

. . .

Multitudes of millennia earlier, another Eve awakened.

The Eve who was the mother of us all.

The Eve who had eaten the Forbidden Fruit and therefore knew what fruit 🍉 🍎 🍌 🍅 it was.

The Eve who along with her husband Adam had been expelled from the Garden of Eden.

The Eve who had been seduced by Lucifer with his serpent like wiles.

And the Phoenix (possessed by Lucifer with its beautiful multicoloured feathers and wings) was turned into a slithering snake 🐍 forced to crawl on its belly.

The Phoenix with its beautiful colours and wings and feathers would live on in the memories of the Far East with that region’s accounts of the beautiful colourful winged dragons 🐉 that were in fact beneficent in character.

The snake (formerly the Phoenix) would live on in the memories of the Western world as the dragons of fierce countenance who were malevolent in character.

Eve awoke.

She who had given birth to Cain and Abel.

And now one son Cain had slain the other Abel.

Eve wept.

“Eve,” a voice spoke.

It was her husband Adam.

She looked at him.

He looked different.

“Come know me,” his hands reached out to her.

She approached him.

She did not bother to notice the strange sinister red glow in his eyes.

And so Eve once again came to know her “husband Adam”.

But really she had once again come to know the “Voice behind the forbidden fruit”.

Eve gave birth to Lilith 9 months later.

Eventually Eve would come to know her actual husband Adam again and give birth to Seth.

But before Seth she had given birth to Lilith.

Lilith.

Daughter of Eve.

Lilith.

Daughter of Lucifer.

Lilith.

The world’s first vampiress.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 18th
2018.

Permalink 12 Comments

The Disciples of Santa Muerte

July 21, 2018 at 10:59 pm (History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Disciples of Santa Muerte

Santa Muerte (“Saint Death” or “Holy Death”) is the Patron Saint of drug dealers in Mexico 🇲🇽.

Since the year 2000, the Cult of Santa Muerte has become the fastest growing religion in Mexico.

Although its cult has been formally condemned by the Catholic Church (even though some Vatican cardinals say that Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis is still waiting for the “god of surprises” to reveal to him whether Santa Muerte is good or bad), the cult is still popular among many in Mexico and definitely popular among drug dealers and drug gangs who look to Santa Muerte for protection.

Santa Muerte is considered a female skeletal figure (clad in a long robe and carrying both a scythe and a globe) and is often considered a Catholic-Mesoamerican Aztec syncretism with Mictecacihuatl the Aztec skeletal goddess of death (Mictecacihuatl literally means “Lady of the Dead” and is the Queen of Mictlan- the Underworld in Aztec religion).

Santa Muerte is the antithesis of Mexico’s national patroness and patron saint the Virgin of Guadalupe (in much the same way as the Antichrist will be the antithesis of Christ).

In terms of actual existing supernatural entities, Santa Muerte is a real being.

Although not actually female.

She is Samael the Talmudic archangel of death when he is in touch with his feminine side and dressing in drag.

Samael the angel of death is actually the Satan who is referenced in the Book of Job (and not the Archangel Lucifer who led a rebellion of angels against God -Yahweh Elohim- eons ago).

For at the time of Job, Samael was still a good angel although an accuser and prosecuting attorney against humanity who served in a role equivalent to the combined office of God’s Prime Minister and Attorney-General in the cabinet that was God’s Council of Angels.

Sometime during the life and 1st earthly ministry of Christ, Samael allowed his adversarial prosecutorial accusations against humanity to degenerate into hatred and he became the perpetual Ha-Satan (adversary of God as well as adversary of man now).

This is why Lucifer as noted by some exorcists (such as Malachi Martin for example) and even a few Luciferians and Satanists is considered to be a being of higher ranking in the hierarchy of Hell than Satan (who is Samael the fallen Archangel of Death).

Although Lucifer is always referred to in the Bible as the Devil, the Serpent and the Dragon 🐉, he is only called Satan depending upon the context being used (since Lucifer is definitely an adversary of both God and man).

Samael however is always called Satan and/or the Angel of Death.

In Revelation 20:14, Death (Samael) and Hades (the entity noted by the ancient Greeks as being the god in charge of the Underworld) are thrown into the everlasting Lake of Fire 🔥.

Before that as noted in Revelation 20:10, the Devil (aka Lucifer aka the ancient Serpent aka the Dragon 🐉) had been thrown into the Lake of Burning Sulfur (where the Beast (aka the Antichrist) and the False Prophet (most likely a demon possessed Pope or Antipope) were previously thrown as noted in Revelation 19:20.)

But the Devil (aka Lucifer) is thrown into the Lake of Fire 🔥 ((Rev. 20:10) before Death (aka the Angel of Death aka Samael aka Ha-Satan) as noted in Rev. 20:14.

That is why Saint Paul wrote, “The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.” (I Corinthians 15:26).

For the Devil (aka Lucifer aka the Serpent aka the Dragon) is thrown into the lake of Fire before Death (aka the Angel of Death aka Samael aka Ha-Satan).

Death is destroyed after the Devil.

Sadly the only Church denomination that still teaches today the early Church teaching that angels had until the 1st Coming of Christ to decide whether they were for or against God (just as humanity has collectively until Christ’s 2nd Coming or in the case of individuals until the moment of their death to decide whether they are for or against God) and then the decision once made is permanent.

When Lucifer and the angels who joined him in rebellion against God eons ago made their decision, they were forever fallen and lost.

When the Watchers assigned to guard humanity decided to lust after and sleep with mortal human women (as noted in Genesis Chapter 6 and the 1st Book of Enoch), they too were forever fallen and lost.

When Samael the Angel of Death who was an angelic prosecuting attorney (hence an adversary or a Satan) changed from just an accuser of humanity to a hater of humanity during the actual 1st earthly ministry of Christ, then he became Ha-Satan (the perpetual adversary of not only man but God) and he fell and became forever lost.

Prior to that as the Satan mentioned in the Book of Job, he had been both God’s Prime-Minister and Attorney-General in the heavenly Council of Angels.

Thanks to most of the Churches not teaching that early Church teaching (with the exception of the Greek Orthodox), numerous misunderstandings and so-called contradictions in the Bible arise.

Like “why was the Devil allowed access to the heavenly council of God?” as mentioned in the Book of Job?

The answer of course is because it wasn’t the Devil (aka Lucifer aka the Serpent aka the Dragon aka the original rebel Archangel), it was Satan (the adversarial prosecuting attorney and accuser of humanity aka Samael aka the Angel of Death who only fell during the time period of Christ’s earthly ministry on Earth and became the Ha-Satan the perpetual adversary of both God and man).

Or why did God appoint demons to watch over humanity and be the Watchers as recorded in the opening chapters of Genesis?

The answer is God didn’t.

The Watchers were originally good angels and only fell after they lusted after and mated with human women.

The trouble is 3 angelic falls- the fall of Lucifer and his angels in an original angelic rebellion against God eons ago and the fall of the Watchers (as recorded in Genesis Chapter 6) and the fall of the angel who was called Satan in the Book of Job (Satan was actually a job title as prosecuting attorney- he was actually the Archangel Samael aka the Angel of Death) who became Ha-Satan during the 1st earthly ministry of Christ- were all looked upon as one and the same angelic fall happening at one and the same chronological time- when in fact they were different angelic falls occurring at different chronological times.

And so Samael aka the Angel of Death aka Ha-Satan (as opposed to the satan called Lucifer and the Devil and the Serpent and the Dragon) wandered through the poor land of Mexico in transgendered angelic drag as Santa Muerte.

As Santa Muerte, he/she chuckled.

Only a total fool would believe that a wall could keep he/she and his/her disciples (the drug pushers and drug cartels) out.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 21st
2018.

Permalink 28 Comments

Reblog- Raven of Doom: A Poem

July 7, 2018 at 10:44 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Poetry, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural) (, , )

This is a poem I wrote 3 years ago today.

I’d forgotten I’d written it but it showed up in my Facebook timeline today.

My friend Daniel says that occasionally my writing is prophetic.

This poem is certainly prophetic of the conditions of the world in 2018.

Dracul Van Helsing

Raven of Doom: A Poem

A raven flew down to the Temple Mount
and shrieked so long, one lost count
The time has come, the raven said, for the downfall of many kings,
as people pursue gold and silver and all such precious things
as each man’s Inner Self becomes like Gollum clutching The Lord of The Rings
It flew above the Dome on the Rock,
Ye worship God? What a crock!
The al-Aqsa Mosque
is Tempest tossed
The Western Wall
contains Herod’s gall
Hate has replaced love in this City of Peace that’s bred much war
Open the Gates! Summon the Fates!
Cast wide open the door!
The Kraken awakes! The City quakes!
The hour has now come!
Foolish man, you’ll find nowhere to run!

-A poem written by Christopher
Tuesday July 7th 2015.

View original post

Permalink 11 Comments

Italian Freemasonic Grandmaster Says Pope Francis Is Prototype of Enlightened Despot of The World

June 28, 2018 at 10:34 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Italian Freemasonic Grandmaster Says Pope Francis Is Prototype of Enlightened Despot of The World

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was staring in disbelief at the two pieces of information he held in his hands.

One was an interview that the Italian Freemasonic Grandmaster Giuliano Di Bernardo had given to the Italian newspaper Libero.

Giuliano Di Bernardo was Grand Master of the Grand Orient of Italy from 1990 to 1993 and later the founder and first grandmaster of the Grand Lodge of Italy from 1993 until 2001.

In interviews, Di Bernardo said that “global society cannot be governed democratically but only through a community of Wise Men who embody the One – the Enlightened Tyrant”.

Libero asked Di Bernardo, “What is your prototype of an enlightened tyrant?”.

Di Bernardo replied, “If I really should name one, I would say, Pope Francis.”

The other bit of information that Peter Whitstable held in his hand was a letter he had received from a Catholic priest in France who was the pastor of a small rural parish.

The priest said that Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) concerned about the huge number of cardinals, bishops and priests who objected to his papal policies (his papal policies that generally consisted of rejecting the doctrines that had been believed in and taught by the Church for the past 2000 years) was going to enact and demand a personal oath of loyalty and fealty by every cardinal, bishop, priest and deacon to himself personally Jorge Mario Bergoglio or otherwise be excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Peter Whitstable in his mind could hear Robin the Boy Wonder say to his fellow Caped Crusader, “Unholy Trinity, Batman. Can you say False Prophet and Antichrist?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 28th
2018.

Permalink 23 Comments

Pope Francis and The Satanic Sacrifice In Geneva

June 22, 2018 at 10:15 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Pope Francis and The Satanic Sacrifice In Geneva

Pan Goatee was walking around transit stops once again continuing his aesthetically inspired efforts in making the city more attractive by improving the visual appearance of its local transit system.

He had his laser machete and a karaoke headpiece with him.

He also had a can of gasoline.

As he started this evening’s slash and burn policy of ridding the city of its ugly females, he sang his own version of an old Wang Chung song from the mid-1980s:

I’d slash a million heads
to promote beauty
(Cuts off the head of an ugly looking girl)
So if you’re feeling low
cause you saw an uglo
(kicks the head away)
The blades I use are strong
They create beauty
But now the gasoline’s on
Light this head to Hell

(Pours gasoline over the head)

Rip it up
Slash down
Rip it up
Rid the world of its frown
Rip it up
Burn down
Rip it up
Beauty increases in town

Everybody slash ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody slash ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody slash ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight

Deep in the world tonight
(cuts off the head of a fat ugly woman)
The heads are going down
The blood will really flow
all the way across town

Rip it up
(cuts off the head of an even fatter and even uglier woman)
Slash down
Rip it up
Kick it down the ground
(Kicks head down the street)
Rip it up
burn down
Rip it up
Get out what’s inside of you
(takes off his Happy Days Fonzie black leather jacket and exposes a t-shirt that says GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER PSYCHOPATH)

Everybody kill ughs tonight
Everybody kill ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight…

On the edge of oblivion
All the world is Babylon
And all the love and everyone
A ship of fools sailing on
It’s the Voyage of the Damned tonight
Charon is hanging on

Across the nation
massive constipation
Everybody Ex-Lax tonight
An enema that cuts through the grime
I don’t consider it a crime

. . .

The ghost of the late Iraqi President Saddam Hussein had somehow managed to escape the fires 🔥 of Tartarus when Hades (the Greek god of the Underworld) had his back turned.

Hades at the time was taking some giant lobsters out of a bag that were a gift to him from his brother Poseidon the god of the sea 🌊.

Hades was planning to roast the lobsters at a massive shake and bake that he was planning at one of the world’s largest volcanoes 🌋 during the next month.

Saddam’s ghost was currently in the city of Istanbul because he had heard that the Vietnamese government in Hanoi was going to name Ho Babylon Minh (the vampiress granddaughter of the late Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh) the Vietnamese Ambassador to the revived Ottoman Empire.

Saddam who had spent time roasting away on a spit in Tartarus was a little behind (in the opinion of Truman Capote’s ghost) in his knowledge of the world’s current affairs.

He was not aware that Turkey’s 🇹🇷 despotic and demagogic President Recep Tayyip Erdogan had not yet formally proclaimed the revival of the Ottoman Empire with himself (Erdogan) as the new Sultan of Constantinople and the new Caliph of the new Global Islamic Caliphate.

Erdogan was hoping to do extremely well in the Presidential and Parliamentary elections this coming Sunday June 24th (the Feast Day of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist) and then he’d announce the creation of the revived Ottoman Empire with himself as Sultan and Caliph.

As Hades rummaged through the bag of lobsters looking for a psychic lobster to eat first, Persephone noticed that Saddam’s ghost had gone missing.

She immediately sent the 3-headed dog Cerberus up to Earth to find Saddam’s ghost and bring him back to Tartarus.

. . .

Pope Francis was in his bedroom in the Vatican discussing the difference between dreams and reality with the ghost of Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung.

Why Pope Francis had asked Hades to temporarily grant Dr. Jung’s ghost a dispensation to leave Purgatory for a while was there was something that the Jesuit pontiff wished to discuss with the well known expert on dreams.

The matter had been bothering Father Jorge Mario Bergoglio (as Pope Francis was known to close associates) for the past 24 hours.

Ever since he had returned to Rome from Geneva.

The pontiff had spent the Summer Solstice in Geneva attending 70th anniversary celebrations for the World Council of Churches.

After the celebration, Francis had been invited to attend what was called “a non-Anglican Evensong service” in an abandoned and desolate Catholic Church on the outskirts of Geneva.

During the service, Francis saw a 16-year-old beautiful young Russian girl (who was said to be both a virgin and the youngest living (until then) female relative of the old Russian Imperial Romanov family) sacrificed to the satanic idol image of Baphomet while Vladimir Lenin’s ghost looked on and applauded.

During the sacrifice of the Russian girl, the Baphomet appeared in person and sang those old Cat Stevens lyrics, “I’m being followed by a moonshadow, moon shadow, moonshadow” as he played the song on an electric guitar 🎸 while a werewolf howled outside the very unusual looking stained glass window depicting the image of Judas Iscariot.

“What I want to know,” Francis asked Jung as he wiped his glasses, “was this just a dream I had or did this actually happen?”.

Jung took off his own pair of spectral glasses 👓 and wiped them with his spectral handkerchief, “I’ll need to discuss this further with one of my colleagues. Preferably Sigmund Freud.”

Francis got on his Hermes Trismegistus smart phone and dialled Hades’ private number to ask him to give Sigmund Freud’s ghost a temporary dispensation from Purgatory.

“Awwww, shit,” Hades cried as one of the lobsters pinched him on the buttocks with his claws when the Greek chthonic deity was distracted by the sound of Johann Sebastian Bach’s Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring ring tone playing on his own Hermes Trismegitus smart phone.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 22nd
2018.

Permalink 4 Comments

Geneva Convention- Baphomet Style

June 20, 2018 at 10:47 pm (Aesthetics, Arts, Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Philosophy, Politics, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Geneva Convention- Baphomet Style

DARPA contract assassin and satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was riding a transit bus 🚌 making sure the local transit system adhered to his Nietzschean principles of aesthetic beauty.

Just then an ugly looking high school girl boarded the bus.

Pan Goatee vomited 🤮 all over the person sitting next to him.

“You can probably get that out with Ultra-Tide laundry detergent,” Pan said as he stood up and removed his laser machete from his Angela Merkel emblazoned boxer shorts.

As the ugly looking high school girl stood by the back door of the bus, Pan Goatee immediately beheaded her and then cut her up into tiny little pieces.

He then pulled a whiskey bottle that contained Doppelgänger (a lethal combination of Irish Guinness and Greek Ouzo) out of his Hawaiian tropical shirt pocket and said, “Never send a sober nanite to do a drunken nanite’s job.”

He then poured the alcohol into the mouths of the already vomiting 🤮 nanoparticles sickened by the aesthetically challenged body parts of the ugly high school girl (who had even been considered too ugly to star in the horror flick High School of the Living Dead for which she recently auditioned).

The nanites then ate the body parts and continued vomiting 🤮 en masse.

Pan Goatee exited through the emergency hatch at the top of the bus as the nanite vomit continued to rise and ended up drowning all the passengers and the bus driver.

. . .

Donald Trump smiled at the TV camera as he signed an executive order banning the separation of immigrant children from their parents.

He then opened a box of Christmas pie he had been saving since last Christmas, put in his thumb, pulled out a plum and said, “What a good boy am I.”

Melania Trump and Ivanka Trump vomited 🤮 all over the Lincoln Bedroom after watching the spectacle on television.

Abe Lincoln’s ghost remarked, “I don’t blame you” as he spewed forth a nasty 🤢 looking flow of ectoplasm out of his mouth which no doubt would have caused the Ghostbusters (in the original 1984 film) to give up their day jobs.

. . .

As Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol was getting an anonymous tip about a satanic cult performing a human sacrifice tomorrow in Geneva, Switzerland 🇨🇭, members of the satanic cult The Legion of Apollinarius were getting ready for their own H. P. Lovecraft style take on Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Eve.

The priest Petrus Romanus Puer Miratio Robinus was getting ready for the human sacrifice tomorrow night.

A Swiss cuckoo clock that had a bat 🦇 out of Hell for a cuckoo bird came out of the clock riding a fiery blazing chopper motorcycle 🏍 announcing the time.

Petrus was consulting the Swiss gypsy medium Heidi Hannibal in the steam furnace basement room of the early 20th Century church building where the human sacrifice would take place tomorrow night in the chapel and altar above.

Swiss gypsy medium Heidi Hannibal

“Hello Baphomet, are you there?” Petrus asked as Heidi Hannibal went into a channeling trance.

“I am,” Baphomet spoke in a deeply diabolical baritone voice through the lovely Swiss blonde.

“You must have a nice singing voice,” Petrus recalled a line that Bill Murray had used in the 1984 film Ghostbusters.

“You should hear me sing the role of Mephistopheles in Charles Gounod’s opera Faust,” Baphomet answered through Heidi Hannibal, “I even sing it better than Mephistopheles himself.”

“That I can believe,” answered Petrus who wasn’t impressed by Mephistopheles’ falsetto style voice.

“Have you made all the arrangements for tomorrow’s Midsummer Night’s non-Anglican Evensong service and satanic sacrifice?” Baphomet asked.

“The boys’ choir is putting in extra time,” Petrus admitted, “our lead singer just hit puberty last night after encountering Heidi wearing a short skirt.”

“Hm, I can see that happening,” Baphomet admitted, “make sure Heidi goes nowhere near the boys in the choir until after tomorrow night’s service.”

“I’ll do that, your Infernalness,” Petrus bowed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 20th
2018.

Permalink 16 Comments

Next page »