Thessalonike of Macedon Meets Dracul and Yaldabaoth

July 8, 2021 at 10:49 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Thessalonike of Macedon

Prof. William Charles an Associate Professor of Mythology, Folklore, Vampirism, Lycanthropy and Paranormal Studies at Oxford University was delivering a lecture in front of a fountain with a statue of a mermaid inside the fountain.

Prof. William Charles was delivering the lecture to a camera as part of an on-line course that he was teaching.

Said Prof. Charles, “Now there is a popular Greek legend that says Alexander the Great’s half-sister Thessalonike of Macedon became a mermaid and lived and frolicked in the Aegean Sea for hundreds of years.
The legend states that Alexander the Great in his quest for the Fountain of Immortality managed to get a flask of this immortal water.
He happened to wash Thessalonike’s hair with this flask of immortal water.
For Alexander had foolishly forgot to bring along the bottle of shampoo that his half-sister Thessalonike had asked for.
Not wanting Thessalonike to throw a major spaz attack as a result of his blundering, Alexander used the flask of immortality water to wash his half-sister’s hair instead.
When Alexander the Great died in the Persian capital of Babylon in June 323 BC, the legend says that his grief-stricken sister attempted to end her life by jumping into the sea.
Instead of drowning, however, she became a mermaid passing judgment on mariners throughout the centuries and across the Seven Seas.
To the sailors she encountered, she would always pose the same question, “Is Alexander the King alive?”.
To which the correct answer would be, “He lives and reigns and conquers the world.”
Given this answer, she would allow the ship and her crew to sail safely away in calm seas.
Any other answer would transform her into a raging Gorgon bent on sending the ship and every sailor on board to the bottom of the sea.”

. . .

“So that was how the German battleship Bismarck was actually sunk to the bottom of the sea?” British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was reading the top secret report on the sinking of the Bismarck that was finally being released over 80 years after the incident had happened back in May of 1941.

“It looks like Johnny Horton’s ghost will have to rewrite the lyrics of his hit song Sink The Bismarck,” An eavesdropping British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who had wiretapped Boris Johnson’s office) quipped.

“Who would have thought that it was a mermaid?” Amadeus Emanon ate a plate of sweet and sour jumbo shrimp, “And Alexander the Great’s half-sister at that.”

. . .

Meanwhile as animals at the Denver Zoo in Colorado were now being injected with Covid vaccines as part of the Biden Administration’s MAKE AMERICA WOKE AGAIN efforts, a demon possessed marine biologist had injected the mermaid Thessalonike of Macedon with a Covid-19 vaccine in the Aegean Sea.

The end result of the injection was that it had turned Thessalonike of Macedon into a mortal woman again.

And it was in that form that Thessalonike of Macedon had appeared to Dracul Van Helsing and Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun on a pier on the Aegean Sea.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 8th
2021.

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Morgan Le Fay

May 21, 2021 at 10:40 pm (Art, Arts, Ghost Story, History, painting, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Picture of Morgan Le Fay

“So you’re trying to track down the original painting that appears at this website?” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked Dashwood Forrest the owner and curator of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

“I am,” Forrest nodded, “I’ve come across sketches of this portrait in various books and they say it’s a portrait of Morgan Le Fay.”

“The Arthurian era enchantress?” Renfield sipped a martini, “But the woman in this portrait looks like a woman of the 1930s judging by her hairstyle and style of dress. I thought Morgan Le Fay died back in the Arthurian era.”

“There were rumours that back in 1930 an archaeologist found her grave on the Isle of Avalon not far from Glastonbury and a spiritist medium friend of the archaeologist used her incredible occultic powers to bring Morgan Le Fay back from the dead,” Forrest explained.

“And someone in the decade of the 1930s painted her picture?” Renfield finished his martini.

“Yes,” Forrest nodded.

“I wonder who?” Renfield looked at the website photograph of the painting as Forrest shrugged.

. . .

The ghost of Winston Churchill and the ghost of Orson Welles were sitting in comfortable armchairs in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate.

Both were smoking spectral cigars.

Churchill was sipping a spectral brandy.

And Welles was sipping a spectral glass of spectral red wine.

“Anyways,” Churchill continued with his story to Welles, “In my painting career, I painted in various different painting styles. I once painted what looked to be in style a black and white photo of Morgan Le Fay but it was actually a painting. One I must say I was exceptionally proud of. Sadly, Clementine didn’t like it and gave it away to someone. She wouldn’t say who. She didn’t want me to get it back. I think Clementine was jealous of Morgan Le Fay’s exceptional beauty.”

“Do you mean Morgan Le Fay the Arthurian era enchantress?” Welles almost spilled his spectral glass of spectral red wine all over his ghostly suit, “But I thought she died back in Arthurian times.”

“She was apparently brought back from the dead in 1930,” Churchill explained.

“Is she still alive today?” Welles asked.

. . .

“Is this seat taken?” The beautiful and attractive young woman asked Dracul Van Helsing in the Saint George’s Pub.

“No, it most definitely is not,” Van Helsing answered.

The woman sat down in the pub booth directly across from Dracul Van Helsing.

Her dress, her fur covering, her necklace, her gloves, her hairstyle and appearance seem to have been accurately and prophetically depicted by one Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill many decades ago.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 21st
2021.

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Liaison At The Palais Garnier

May 20, 2021 at 10:15 pm (Culture, Detective story, Folklore, History, Mystery, Romance, Short Story, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Sitting alongside her friend Estelle in her opera box at the Palais Garnier Opera House in Paris, Nicole read a message that had been delivered to her.

It was a May evening in Paris in the year 1889.

And the 1888-1889 season of the Palais Garnier Paris Opera Company was coming to an end.

The season had begun in September with Verdi’s Aida.

And was coming to an end this May with Mozart’s Don Giovanni.

Nicole and Estelle had thoroughly enjoyed Act I of tonight’s opera.

During intermission there was one man who kept his eyes on Nicole the whole time they were in the lobby.

Returning to their box minutes before Act 2 was to begin, they discussed the excitement surrounding this particular night at the opera.

Aside from the usual rumours surrounding the possible appearance of Erik the Phantom of the Opera, there were other rumours surrounding tonight’s performance.

It was rumoured that Queen Victoria’s eldest son Edward Prince of Wales (who would be the future King Edward VII of Britain) would be attending tonight’s performance incognito under the name Monsieur Claude Adonais.

Various opera goers cast their glances around the seats on the floor and in the opera boxes to see if Monsieur Claude Adonais (aka Edward Prince of Wales) was there.

Just minutes before Act 2 of Don Giovanni was to begin, Nicole received a note.

“What does the note say?” Estelle asked excitedly.

“It says,” Nicole read the note aloud, “My dearest and fairest Mademoiselle, do I have permission to enter your box before tonight’s performance is finished?” And it’s signed Claude Adonais. Then in brackets it says Edward Prince of Wales.”

“The cheek of him,” Estelle shook her head, “Asking to enter your box.”

“I do believe he’s talking about my opera box,” Nicole replied.

“You never know with Edward Prince of Wales,” Estelle noted, “He has quite the reputation.”

Nicole sent a note back.

“What did you say?” Estelle asked.

“I said Oui,” Nicole answered.

“Oh, Nicole,” Estelle sighed.

Just as the scene where Don Giovanni encounters the statue of the slain dead Commendatore (whose daughter Don Giovanni had sexually violated and the Commendatore had died in a sword fight against Don Giovanni defending his daughter’s honour) unfolds, Monsieur Claude Adonais (aka Edward Prince of Wales) entered Nicole’s box (her opera box that is).

“Would you care to come to my hotel room after dinner?” Monsieur Claude Adonais asked, “We’ll have wine, a midnight snack and a most scrumptuous shish kebab of a sword for your dessert.”

Just as on stage the statue of the Commendatore dragged Don Giovanni down to Hell, so too Erik the Phantom of the Opera arrived on his chandelier, grabbed the Prince of Wales and carried him down to the subterranean lake below the Palais Grenier Opera House.

Just as the Phantom was about to drag the Prince of Wales below the depths of the lake, London’s famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes arrived on the scene.

“Your Highness,” Holmes explained, “Your mother the Queen hired me to look out for you. After she heard you were traveling incognito to Paris sans Alexandra your wife, she figured something like this would happen.”

Holmes ripped off the Phantom’s mask.

Erik with a loud cry vanished beneath the waters of the lake.

Holmes then turned to Edward Prince of Wales (under his incognito nom-de-plume Monsieur Claude Adonais), “And as for you, your naughty Royal Highness, your mother has booked a three hour session with my twin sister Sherrielock Holmes for you.”

Edward turned pale, “But isn’t your sister a dominatrix?”.

“She is, your Highness,” Holmes nodded, “And you’ve had it coming.”

Meanwhile Nicole and Estelle sat in a small cafe on the Champs-Elysees.

Nicole opened up a box of chocolates (that had been given her by Edward Prince of Wales Monsieur Claude Adonais) and said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.”

-A short story
and
vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 20th
2021.

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Charlotte In The Dance Studio

May 12, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Charlotte in the dance studio

Vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing entered the room known as the dance studio in the English country manor and estate he had been staying in for the past week.

The country squire and his wife who owned the estate were big fans of Latin and Ballroom Dancing.

And therefore owned their own dance studio.

“Hello, Miss Charlotte,” Van Helsing said to the woman as he entered the dance studio.

“Hello, Mr. Van Helsing,” Charlotte smiled.

“Is the ghost of the Emperor Napoleon around?” Van Helsing asked.

“He’s apparently down in London to see Trafalgar Square,” Charlotte answered.

“Well, that should prove interesting,” Van Helsing commented.

“And Squire Hawkins and his wife are visiting relatives,” Charlotte noted.

“So we’re alone on the Estate then?” Van Helsing sat down on a chair.

“Andrea Angelicus the Phoenix woman is not around?” Charlotte inquired.

“No, she’s darting back and forth across the globe,” Van Helsing explained, “And using the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern projector for time travel.”

“Time travel?” Charlotte was curious.

“Yes, by time traveling, she gave lasting fame to an artist who died young by the name of Henri Gris,” Van Helsing explained, “By posing for his most famous portrait painting entitled The Woman of Midnight. The painting has now been acquired by the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London and will soon be available for public viewing.”

“So, seeing as how we have the house to ourselves, what shall we do, Van Helsing?” Charlotte asked.

“Dance,” Van Helsing smiled as he put on an old LP record of Johann Strauss’ The Blue Danube.

. . .

Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague was walking the streets of London with Extremely Curious George the stegosaurus who was genetically created by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

“Well, George,” Dr. Montague commented, “We seem to be getting a lot of stares from passers-by today. It must be this Armani suit I’m wearing that was a gift to me from Jerry Seinfeld. And no doubt that spiffy and colourful looking bow tie you’re wearing is drawing a lot of attention as well.”

They walked by 10 Downing Street where British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was standing at a podium in front of the door to the residence shooting his mouth off about something or other.

Extremely Curious George stood next to Johnson briefly and opened his mouth in a big wide yawn as the Prime Minister was talking.

The photo that was taken of the moment went viral on social media.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 12th
2021.

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Mei-ling Manchu At The Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B In Beijing

April 12, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B in Beijing

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu was waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B (Bed and Breakfast) in Beijing.

Mei-ling Manchu had once been a loyal follower of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party).

But during the last decade she had come to realize that the CCP had only increasd misery not alleviated it.

For the real purpose of the CCP had been, like that of Communist parties everywhere, to crush the human soul.

Having once been a dialectical materialist, she had not believed in the existence of the human soul.

But in the dissidents she had occasionally met over the years, those dissidents who had stood up against the CCP regime in Beijing, she had come to realize that the human soul and the human spirit did exist in those dissidents.

Those who continued to follow the regime, followed its despotic decrees day by day and meekly accepted the CCP’s diabolic Social Credit score were allowing their souls day by day to die little by little.

Until one day their souls were no more.

And they were just human fleshed cogs in a CCP machine who’d one day be replaced by robot cogs in the machine as the Transhumanism of the new Xi Jinping inspired CCP Transhumanism and the Transhumanism of the western globalist technocratic Fascism of the capitalist West merged into one.

What was killing the souls of the once great Chinese people was now killing the souls of people across the globe.

For lockdowns and isolation and the creation of a two-tiered system of people via vaccine passports was spreading throughout the world.

And most did not resist.

For their souls had been killed by the diabolical dialectic materialism of monopolistic capitalism with its greed and avarice (what Saint Paul had dubbed “the love of money” which the Apostle had further noted was “the root of all evil”).

Like Esau in the Bible who had sold his inheritance for a bowl of pottage, so the peoples of the West had sold their inheritance (their souls) for a bowl of pottage (whatever little bits of slop their globalist technocratic masters threw at them as long as they kept on their masks, practiced their social distancing and continued their OCD continuous handwashing).

The Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. in Beijing was owned by Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

He had been granted permission to open this B. and B. by Chinese Premier Chou En-lai back in the early 1970s.

As David Cheung the owner of Edmonton’s Pearl River Restaurant had once told a young University student (today a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield) that when Chou died “the people of China wept both in public and in private but when Mao died they wept in public but not in private”).

The inference being that Chou did have the interests of the Chinese people at heart even though he had mistakenly chosen the philosophy of Marxism-Leninism to bring about a better society.

While Mao did not have the interests of the Chinese people at heart.

He was a megalomaniac who craved power for power’s sake.

Just like today Xi Jinping was a 2nd Mao Tse-tung.

Chou and Yaldabaoth had once made their own recipe a Peking Duck Irish Stew together and Chou had let Yaldabaoth have this property as his reward.

And today Mei-ling Manchu was meeting British MP Renfield R. Renfield at the Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. to put the final touches on their plan to kill Xi Jinping.

Renfield, who had disappeared from public sight in Britain last week, had in fact been flying the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s invisible dirigible airship The Claude Rains and Lamont Cranston Project One over to China.

Renfield and Mei-ling greeted one another with a hug and a kiss and then went into the B. and B.

“Mei-ling,” Renfield inquired, “Sherrielock Holmes was telling me about anassignment she had once done for Britain’s MI-6. The matter apparently involved then California U.S. Republican Senatorial candidate Richard M. Nixon and yourself. She had hired a Los Angeles private eye Carson Cody Albion to see what was going on. Apparently Albion discovered that you had failed in your attempt to seduce Nixon.”

“I did not fail,” Mei-ling said, “It turns out that Nixon, despite his many faults, was at least loyal and faithful to his wife which is not true of most male politicians of whatever political stripe in the U.S.A.”.

“So you got nothing out of your encounter?” Renfield sipped his cup of green tea.

“I did hypnotize him with a Ming dynasty pocket watch- the first pocket watch ever invented,” Mei-ling noted, “I said whenever he heard a German wearing glasses singing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories, then he was to open up diplomatic relations with the government of the People’s Republic of China. One of our operatives Ho Babylon Minh hypnotized Dr. Henry Kissinger via use of a blow job to sing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories at a White House gala in early 1971. That set everything in motion. Nixon in a live TV address on July 15th 1971 announced that he would be visiting the People’s Republic of China.”

As Mei-ling Manchu tossed a 1000-Year-Old egg into a nearby garbage can, Renfield wondered to himself, “I wonder who got the best end of the stick? Nixon or Kissinger?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 12th
2021.

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An Intersection of Time

April 10, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Film, Ghost Story, love, Movies, Music, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

The year was 1929.
The bride was waiting for the wedding to begin.
She looked behind her.
And noticed one of the candles had burnt out.
Was this an omen she wondered?
Was she making the right decision?
Was her life about to become like that burnt out candle?

2021.
Amadeus Emanon was standing on the stage of an empty nightclub.
The nightclub was closed due to Boris Johnson’s lockdown.
But Amadeus felt at his best when performing on a stage.
He may not be able to sing to people in the club.
But he felt he was able to sing to ghosts.
The ghosts of the past.
The ghosts of the present.
And the ghosts of the future.

The ghosts of the present.
People alone and isolated.
And fading away
Under an iron curtain
That had descended all across the globe.

The ghosts of the future
If there was a future
Those whose anguished cries could not reach the present
As the darkness fell
And everything was void
and waiting for that moment
Of the spoken Word,
“Let there be light.”

Ghosts of the past.
In a distant theatre box
Amadeus saw a woman in silhoutte
A bride
Looking back at a burnt out candle
Silent
Apprehensive
As if she was looking at an omen.

Amadeus began to sing
And sang to the woman
To the bride…

Moon River, wider than a mile
I’m crossing you in style someday
Oh dream maker
You heartbreaker
Where ever you’re going I’m going your way
Two drifters off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after the same rainbow’s end
Waiting round the bend
My huckleberry friend
Moon River and me.

Amadeus lowered his head
The song was finished
The spot light was fading
And it was as if the singer
Was waiting for the applause

That never came.

The bride listened
She had never heard the song
And probably would not again
Unless on some far off 1961 morning
She had breakfast at Tiffany’s

But the song gave her courage
And inspired her to walk down the aisle
And grasp the hand of her love
Her huckleberry friend
Two drifters off to see the world
Because
there’s such a lot of world to see

The moon came through
Shining through the stained glass window
Depicting the Jordan River
And at this nighttime service
It shone brightly
On the spot
Where the one candle had burnt out

In the far off distance
Amadeus’ voice carried through time,
“Moon River and thee.”

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 10th
2021.

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The Turning Point

April 9, 2021 at 8:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

“So, where is your friend Renfield R. Renfield tonight?” Angelique Dumont asked her boyfriend Amadeus Emanon as he came over to her apartment.

“I was informed by Athelstan the butler at the Set Mansion this morning that Renfield has apparently decided to vanish for a few days,” Amadeus answered.

“Vanish?” Angelique seemed perplexed.

“Yes, the number of governments and wealthy global oligarchs around the world who want to see him assassinated has really grown exponentially the past week,” Amadeus explained.

“So I take it then that Renfield won’t be attending Prince Philip’s funeral?” Angelique inquired.

“Well I understand Philip’s funeral is to be a small affair at the Duke of Edinburgh’s own personal request plus Covid restrictions are in place,” Amadeus was eating a Worcestershire sauce laced grilled cheese sandwich, “Plus I don’t think Renfield would have really been invited anyways.”

“Prince Philip didn’t like Renfield?” Angelique Dumont put honey in her tea.

“I don’t think Philip knew Renfield very well,” Amadeus pointed out, “But Prince Philip’s eldest son Charles Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall certainly doesn’t like Renfield very well.”

“Why doesn’t Prince Charles like Renfield?” Angelique wanted to know.

“Well, because a few years ago, Charles was only standing a few feet away from Renfield when Renfield said to someone else that in his opinion Charles’ 2nd wife Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall looked like a horse,” Amadeus sipped a ginger beer.

“That would explain the Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall Charles’ dislike of Renfield,” Angelique admitted.

“The next day, Renfield did issue an apology… to horses,” Amadeus recalled, “but even that didn’t quite cut the mustard with Prince Charles.”

“I should say not,” Angelique shook her head, “But I think Her Majesty the Queen likes Renfield does she not?”.

“Yes,” Amadeus nodded, “Because Renfield once saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.”

. . .

“Who’s this Prince Philip guy?” American President Joe Biden asked one of his aides, “Is he the fellow who made Philips Electric Shavers?”.

“No, Mr. President,” The aide wore a t-shirt that said I’M WITH STUPID with an arrow pointing in Biden’s direction, “He was the Prince Consort of the Queen of England.”

“Victoria?” Biden reached for a glass of water to take his Geritol pills.

“That was Prince Albert,” his aide sounded exasperated, “And Victoria was queen for the most part of two centuries ago.”

“Who’s the current Queen?” Biden inquired.

“Are you referring to the Sovereign of Great Britain or your recent appointment to the position of Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services?” His aide wanted to know.

Biden scratched his head at that one.

. . .

After administering a severe spanking to Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing for being late to their meeting, the Norse Goddess Freya went to a corner of the room and stood looking at him.

“So did you find out if it’s true that my son Thor has formed an alliance with Loki?” Freya asked.

“It’s true,” Dracul Van Helsing lit a cigarette and poured himself a glass of bourbon.

“But such an alliance was not foreseen in the Poetic Edda or Prose Edda?” Freya pointed out.

“That’s true as well,” Van Helsing nodded, “Anyhow Thor and Loki have formed an alliance with Osiris and Horus to bring about a Great Reset New World Order. That idiotic English language mantra Build Back Better is being translated into ancient Norse and ancient Egyptian even as we speak.”

“This is depressing news,” Freya sighed, “I need a conjugal encounter right now to get rid of my depression.”

“So do I,” Van Helsing confessed.

They were soon on the bed in the apartment making out with one another.

The ghost of Orson Welles walked in at that moment.

“Not again,” Welles’ ghost went back into the hall.

A Norwegian otter carrying a notepad and a pencil asked Welles if he knew the ancient Norse word for Google.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 9th
2021.

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Michelangelo’s Dream of Bogey and Bacall

March 27, 2021 at 10:34 pm (Detective story, Entertainment, Film, History, Humour, Poetry, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a dream where he was playing Humphrey Bogart’s character of Philip Marlowe and having an encounter with Lauren Bacall.

After waking up, he decided to write a narrative poem about his dream.

He went over to his waterproof laptop to start writing but then decided to use his recently bought old vintage Underwood typewriter that had been custom refurbished to work underwater.

Grabbing some waterproof sheets of paper, he inserted them into his waterproof old vintage Underwood typewriter and started typing the poem.

Bogey and Bacall: Philip Marlowe’s Right On The Ball
A narrative poem
By Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster
Narrated in the First Person
By Philip Marlowe
(As played by Humphrey Bogart)

So I had come home after a hard day on the case
Rather difficult to try to sleep on a case of bourbon
I did do some work on that other case
Trying to find Max Spellbein’s younger daughter
Where do younger daughters hang out these days anyways?

I went down to Frankie’s Jazz Cafe
The Pink Flamingo Lounge
And even The Silverstar Nightclub
Nothing.
No sign of her.

I even went down to the bus depot and the shipyard
Her ship must have sailed when my bus came in
Does that make any sense?
Probably not.
Difficult to make sense
When one’s mind is adrift
In a sea of bourbon.

I lit a cigarette
Put it in my mouth
And made a silent prayer
That this combination of alcohol and flame
Didn’t send me up like a rocket on New Year’s Eve.

I thought I heard piano music coming from my piano
Which was strange
I rarely play the piano these days
Not since I got my fingers caught in that mousetrap
Under the altar of Saint Ignatius’ Church
When I said to the good priest,
“Pray it again, Sam.”

After sitting in my chair
Looking up at the ceiling
And watching the paint dry
It suddenly hit me
That I hadn’t painted this place in ages
So there was no drying paint to watch

That was definitely music I was hearing
So either someone was playing the piano
Or the angels were calling me

So I walked into the piano room
And there at the piano
Sat Max Spellbein’s elder daughter

Lauren Bacall: Playing the piano and singing, “When smoke gets in your eyes…”

I stood there
Inhaled the air from the open window
And realized I wouldn’t be spending the night alone.

-A narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 27th
2021.

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Portrait of Tapairu The Tahitian Sleeping Beauty

March 21, 2021 at 10:27 pm (Art, Arts, History, Romance, Short Story, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Portrait of Tapairu the Tahitian Sleeping Beauty

“What an absolutely beautiful painting,” Sherrielock Holmes the (quite literally) immortal twin sister of London consulting detective Sherlock Holmes gazed at the newest acquisition now hanging in the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

Mr. Truffles her orange tabby cat purred in agreement and looked up affectionately at the painting.

“It was painted in Tahiti back in 1894 by one Sean Seamus O’ Gill an Irish painter and artist who lived on the island of Tahiti around the same time as the French artist Paul Gauguin,” Dashwood Forrest the art gallery owner and curator explained, “sadly Mr. O’ Gill is not as well known as Gauguin.”

As the old grandfather clock chimed in the gallery and the statue of a gnome emerged out of a small drawer to turn over an hourglass whose sands had just run out, images from a past time seemed to filter into the present.

Sean Seamus O’ Gill looked at the vision in front of him.

“What a vision,” Sean Seamus O’ Gill remarked to the French missionary priest Father Jacques La Croix.

“It’s like that old Irish hymn whose lyrics begin “Be thou my vision”, eh, Sean?” Father La Croix smiled.

“I guess you could phrase it that way,” Sean nodded, “She does look divine.”

“That she does,” Father La Croix agreed.

“Are you sure she wouldn’t object to being painted while sleeping?” Sean asked.

“No,” Father La Croix shook his head, “She wants to be painted while sleeping. She wants this portrait to be called the Tahitian Sleeping Beauty. She wants to give it as a gift to the man she’s going to marry.”

“She’s engaged?” A look of disappointment crossed Sean’s face.

“Nothing official yet,” Father La Croix answered, “but she hopes to be.”

And so that was how Sean Seamus O’ Gill came to paint the portrait of Tapairu the Tahitian sleeping beauty.

Over the next few months, Sean would sketch drawings and eventually paint pictures afterwards of Tapairu dancing at night in the village center like a royal dancer.

He would sketch drawings and paint pictures afterwards of Tapairu singing to school children during the day.

One of the village matriarchs took notice of his work.

“I’ve been told that an artist likes to depict a subject he loves,” she smiled.

“Um… Tapairu just makes a good subject,” The artist seemed to blush, “That’s all.”

Sean did wonder though which of the many suitors that seemed to want to attract Tapairu’s attention, Tapairu had given her heart to.

On the night of Sean’s birthday, many of the villagers gave Sean gifts.

Tapairu gave Sean a carefully wrapped and rather large present.

Sean opened it.

This was what he saw.

Sean then remembered the words of Father La Croix that she wanted to give the portrait of the Tahitian Sleeping Beauty as a gift to the man she wanted to marry.

Tapairu smiled happily at him.

Sean smiled happily back.

-A short story and
vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 21st 2021.

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Renfield Reads Dr. Seuss Books To Children, Comments On Pope Francis and Reflects On Meghan and Prince Harry Interview

March 10, 2021 at 11:56 pm (books, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield spent the morning reading live on-air to British schoolchildren the 6 books by Dr. Seuss that would no longer be published by Dr. Seuss Enterprises because they were deemed highly offensive, extremely insensitive and politically incorrect by America’s easily offended, psychotically oversensitive and politically correct cancel culture of woke zombies.

After the live-on air reading, Renfield left the studio where he was greeted by a highly irate member of Britain’s own politically correct cancel culture of woke zombies.

“How dare you,” the man foamed at the mouth, “read, as a member of Britain’s House of Commons and therefore a public servant, books that have been deemed cancelled by us the cancel culture?”.

The man regained consciousness several hours later after his face had come into sudden and immediate very close contact with Renfield’s fist.

Renfield went to his parliamentary office where his secretary told him that the U.S. Ambassador to London was once again phoning to complain about the number of times Renfield had referred to U.S. President Joe Biden as an “idiot” and a “senile old fool” the past week.

Renfield had also received a phone call from U.S. actor Tom Hanks’ agent.

In a recent interview, Renfield was asked about Tom Hanks being recently granted Greek citizenship, and the MP replied, quoting a San Francisco blogger he read, “Didn’t Greece recently legalize pedophilia?”.

Renfield went into his inner office where he had a Skype conversation with his good friend Amadeus Emanon who was currently residing in Australia.

“Did you hear,” Amadeus asked, “that Pope Francis was complaining to reporters on the plane ride back from Iraq (reporters all of whom had received the DeathVaxx vaccine in order to be allowed on the plane) that some people call him “an idiot and a heretic”? Did you hear his complaining about that?”.

“I did,’ Renfield lit a cigar.

“Haven’t you on numerous occasions called Pope Francis an idiot and a heretic?” Amadeus inquired.

“I have,” Renfield nodded.

“Some people are now saying that Pope Francis has initiated the official start of the Mystery Babylon religion that was prophesied in Chapter 17 of the Apocalypse of Saint John,” Amadeus pointed out.

“Well Pope Francis did hold an interfaith service at the site of the temple of Inanna the ancient Sumerian goddess of prostitution (whose Babylonian, Assyrian and Akkadian equivalent was Ishtar) the goddess who’s considered the Mother of Harlots so his use of symbols and symbology used throughout this trip was extremely interesting to say the least,” Renfield sipped a small glass of brandy.

“Did you get a chance to watch the Meghan Markle and Prince Harry interview with Oprah?” Amadeus asked.

“I did,” said Renfield, “I was talking to a friend of mine who has been diagnosed with clinical depression and has felt suicidal a few times in his life and he’s very disturbed with the way Meghan was not offered help by the Royal Family when she herself was feeling suicidally depressed while pregnant with Archie and was further told she should not seek out help because members of the Firm aren’t supposed to do so.
They’re supposed to keep a stiff upper lip and all that.”

“Didn’t Prince Andrew keep a stiff something else with a few underage female proteges of Jeffrey Epstein?” Amadeus inquired.

“He did,” Renfield nodded, “And then during the interview it appears there’s at least one member of the Royal Family who’s racist and expressed concern about what skin tone colour baby Archie was going to have. Oprah said that Prince Harry made it clear that it wasn’t his grandmother the Queen or his grandfather Prince Philip. But another member of the Royal Family.”

“Any idea who that member of the Royal Family might be?” Amadeus wanted to know.

“Well, I have a few suspects in mind but nothing definite,” Renfield answered.

“I wonder if we’ll ever know,” Amadeus pondered.

“Well, if Harvey Tallbanger ever finds out and I’m told he’s currently investigating the matter,” Renfield finished his brandy, “and we hear about a member of the British Royal Family getting a cream pie in the face in public thrown at them by an invisible entity over the next few weeks, we can safely guess that was probably the one who had their knickers in a knot over what little Archie’s skin tone colour might be.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 10th
2021.

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