Justin Trudeau’s Failed Macho Man Impersonation and The Unmasked Demon Dancer Chief Woos

February 21, 2020 at 11:55 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel)

Justin Trudeau’s Failed Macho Man Impersonation and The Unmasked Demon Dancer Chief Woos

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a guest news editorial on a very very independent Ottawa radio station.

“Well,” Renfield began, “after a week, Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is apparently sick of being called a “wimp” (namely because he is one) and earlier today after swallowing the contents of a dozen bottles of testosterone tablets marched (instead of his usual “minced”) to a media briefing room with important members of his cabinet and in his deepest (closest he could muster to a baritone sounding) voice announced, “These barricades must come down now.”

Of course Justin didn’t say what he would do if the barricades by indigenous gangs (self-proclaimed Warrior societies) and their Marxist Trotskyite co-travellers didn’t come down from blocking the nation’s railway and transportation system since the cranial contents challenged son of self-proclaimed philosopher king Pierre Elliot said he still wouldn’t call in the police to take down the blockades.

Justin thinks no doubt that his failed Macho Man routine would be enough to frighten the anarchistically inclined Mohawk Warriors to take down their railway blockades at Belville Ontario and outside the Kanesatake settlement in Quebec.

Well despite the dozen bottles of testosterone pills he swallowed and his pitiful attempt at trying to talk in a baritone voice saying “These barricades must come down now” to the group of costumed figured puppets dressed as Alvin and The Chimpmunks singing behind the curtain (as Justin spoke) in their Chipmunk sounding voices those 1978 Village People lyrics, “Macho, macho, macho man, I gotta be a macho man…”, I doubt very much the Tyendinaga Mohawk Warriors near Bellville Ontario or the Kanesatake Mohawk Warriors near Oka, Quebec will be taking down their blockades anytime soon without police intervention.

I noticed a photo of the Wet’suwet’en hereditary chiefs who are opposed to the natural gas pipeline in northern B.C. standing in front of a Tim Horton’s restaurant in a food court on the TV news tonight.

No doubt they were wondering why the plant based beef burgers they had just bought at the Tim Horton’s behind them didn’t taste exactly the same as the supposedly plant based beef burgers that the beautiful woman (who was actually a Wechuge evil spirit in disguise) gave them in the first place that caused their panties to twist into a knot over the natural gas pipeline.

An investigation by the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka, vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and Interpol agent Peter Whitstable showed the same beautiful woman (who is actually a Wechuge evil spirit ) had given Tim Horton’s boxes containing supposedly plant based beef burgers to the Tyendinaga Mohawk Warriors last night.

Meanwhile the Wet’suwet’en hereditary Chief Woos spoke at a news conference earlier today.

Seeing Chief Woos speak at that news conference, two words come most pre-eminently to mind.

And those two words are “total scumbag”.

And when I say that, I’m judging him by the content of his character (and his facial expression that so clearly reflects the content of that character) and not the colour of his skin nor his ethnic background.”

. . .

Meanwhile Pope Francis was reading today’s Munich Agreement in which Vatican Foreign Minister Archbishop Paul Gallagher had met with Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi in Munich and had surrendered control over the Catholic Church in China to the Communist government of Xi Jinping.

. . .


Meanwhile the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka stood and watched in horror as the Wechuge evil spirit (shapeshifted into a beautiful woman) was gathering up cartons marked Tim Horton’s of supposedly plant based beef burgers that she had just fed the Kanesatake Mohawk Warriors prior to their meeting with the Wechuge influenced Wet’suwet’en hereditary chiefs tomorrow.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 21st
2020.

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Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka and The Wechuge

February 20, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka and The Wechuge

A group of Tyendinaga Mohawk Warriors sat at their blockades on the railway tracks near Belleville, Ontario.

Also among their ranks was a group of whites- all of whom were paid agitators from the Trotskyite Fourth International.

They sat eating hot dogs and listening to the radio.

On the radio was British MP Renfield R. Renfield, “I’ve been asked by the producer of this program not to mention the fact that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg likes his employees to blow dry his arm pits before he gives a speech so I’m not going to mention that.”

“There must be a long list of people who want to kill this Renfield,” a Warrior remarked.

“One of our people managed to get ahold of the ice axe that was used to kill Trotsky in Mexico City in 1940,” commented a Trotskyite agitator, “so we plan to use that to do him in.”

Nearby a mysterious creature stalked the woods.

The creature was a Wechuge – a giant ice creature who had once been human but had become possessed by an ancient giant animal spirit.

The Wechuge were to be found in Western Canada.

This Wechuge had been a member of the Wet’suwet’en’ First Nation prior to having once ate human flesh and become a Wechuge.

It was this Wechuge who had appeared to some of the Wet’suwet’en hereditary chiefs and told them to oppose a gas pipeline that was actually supported by the vast majority of the Wet’suwet’en people including other hereditary chiefs and the elected band council.

She had appeared in the form of a beautiful woman and gave them what she claimed were Tim Horton’s plant based beef burgers to eat.

She said, “I find their flavour particularly satisfying.”

The Wechuge quickly shape shifted from giant ice creature to beautiful woman and approached the Mohawk encampment carrying what appeared to be cups of Tim Horton’s coffee and containers of Tim Horton’s Plant Based Beef Burgers.

“Take this and eat,” she handed out the containers of supposedly plant based beef burgers, “Do this in memory of me.”

She then vanished into the night.

. . .

“My pot smoking and cannabis exhaling marijuana plant turns out to be a late Victorian/early Edwardian antique mirror,” Justin Trudeau wept in front of his cabinet during a cabinet meeting, “One that doesn’t even reflect its immediate surroundings but rather reflects a closed used and rare book store on the street corner next to a desolate alley on a mist filled night in London, England.”

The cabinet looked at one another.

This was Canada’s national leader in a time of national crisis.

. . .


The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka sat on a tree stump in the wintery woods and awaited the arrival of Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

The trio would be investigating the alliance of First Nations supernatural skulduggery and Trotskyite Marxism.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 20th
2020.

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Maria Orsic On Ghost Pine Lake

February 17, 2020 at 11:58 am (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel)

Maria Orsic On Ghost Pine Lake

The year was 1947.

And the Austro-Croatian mystic Maria Orsic was at Ghost Pine Lake in Central Alberta.

She had somewhat of an adventuresome 2 years.

When Nazi Germany unconditionally surrendered on May 8th 1945, she had carried with her a briefcase showing drafts of flying saucers that would be able to fly using Vril energy.

Maria Orsic had been hoping to flee the country.

But she had been conked on the head by an officer of the U.S. Office of Strategic Services (predecessor to the American CIA) and her briefcase containing the flying saucer and Vril energy drafts were stolen by that operative.

When she awoke, she had found herself in the Elysian Fields in the arms of Napoleon Bonaparte.

Apparently Hermes in his role as Psychopomp (guide of the souls of the Dead to and through the Underworld) had mistaken the unconscious Maria Orsic for being dead and had taken her down there.

Hermes made the mistake because he had been drunkenly carousing with Dionysus/Bacchus the night before.

As punishment for this drunken fiasco and mishap, an angry Zeus decreed that Hermes was to be present at the birth of a baby who would grow up to be the notorious Australian character who called himself Uncle Ernie.

Hermes would never recover from being present at that particular Nativity (at which magic mushroom eating transvestite 3 foot tall dwarf demons sang Glory Be To Crowley In The Highest) and was still being treated for PTSD by Psyche’s psychiatrist to this day.

Maria Orsic would be escorted by Persephone back up to Earth.

And today she found herself at boat races being held at Ghost Pine Lake.

Among the competitors would be one Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau.

He would be competing under the name of Jack Pipe.

Maria Orsic had recognized Jack Pipe’s photo when she read a Boat Racing News magazine issue in a Chicago hairstylist’s salon.

So she went northwest to Ghost Pine Lake.

Meanwhile Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles were also present at Ghost Pine Lake on this day in 1947.

They had traveled back in time using the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr prototype magic lantern (a magic lantern that served as an instrument of time travel).

The reason for their time travelling excursions was a series of peculiar phenomena that were happening in Alberta in the year 2020.

A ghost white buffalo had been spotted wandering through Dry Island Buffalo Jump Provincial Park east of the town of Huxley (named after the famous Darwinian evolutionist Thomas Huxley. Huxley was currently roasting away on a spit down in Tartarus and was now a convinced creationist).

The last time a Ghost White Buffalo had been seen in these parts was back during the dreadfully cold winter of 1907-08.

In addition, the ghost of the Headless Horseman of Ghost Pine Lake (a Cree indigenous warrior who had lost his head in battle to the tomahawk of a Blackfoot indigenous warrior) was starting to show up on nights that were not moon lit.

Previously the ghost had only looked for his head on moonlit nights.

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was convinced something unusual was happening in the Supernatural realm.

Pope Francis who was a Marxist dialectical materialist disagreed.

In between takes of his shooting a music video (a remake of the 1980s video where a sexy looking Belinda Carlisle sings “We’ll make Heaven a place on Earth…), the Pope told reporters as such.

The video remake of Heaven Is A Place On Earth where Pope Francis sings and performs what was done by Belinda Carlisle in the original video was taking a long time to shoot as each new director of the music video inevitably ended up committing hari kari after each shooting of a scene.

And so on Whitstable’s recommendation, Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles had traveled back in time and place to Ghost Pine Lake in 1947 where the Vril Society medium Maria Orsic was watching Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau race a boat.

“Dracul!” Maria shouted as she recognized the Canadian vampire hunter with whom she had had previous cosmic encounters.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday February 17th
2020.

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Yaldabaoth and Morrigan

February 10, 2020 at 11:45 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Yaldabaoth and Morrigan

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun looked exceedingly pleased with himself as he was nestled in the arms of Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war.

The year was 1955.

The place Monte Carlo.

And Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun had been cleaning up at the roulette tables.

House management had become concerned.

Unfortunately their regular house detective had been killed in a shoot out last month involving the American CIA, the Soviet KGB, the IRA (Irish Republican Army), the California Harper Valley PTA (Parent-Teachers’ Association) and the American IRS (Internal Revenue Service).

The IRS must have emerged the winner.

Because the IRS operative put a hand in the house detective’s pocket, pulled out a stone and squeezed blood out of the stone into a jar (that had a piece of paper written on the jar’s outside saying For Uncle Sam).

After an hour the stone no longer cosmologically or ontologically existed and the large jar was filled to the top with blood.

The house detective was buried in a grotto honouring the goddess Fortuna.

Los Angeles Private Eye Carson Cody Albion was hired by the casino to serve as house detective until a replacement for the deceased fellow could be found.

So far no one was willing to take the job.

Because Jocasta a parent representative on the California Harper Valley PTA (who was quite overly protective of her son) was one nasty target shooting markswoman.

Fortunately for Carson Cody Albion, he had been turned into an immortal by Atargatis the Syro-Phoenician goddess back in the early 1940s.

So Jocasta’s bullets didn’t amount to much.

Although after missing Albion, they did strike and kill a Ph.D student in Psychology who was doing his doctoral dissertation on the theories of Sigmund Freud and his analysis of the connection between the male libido and psyche.

When Albion opened the hotel room door, he saw Yaldabaoth in the arms of Morrigan.

“Other guests in the hotel have been complaining about the sound of spanking coming from this room,”
Albion said.

“That is strange,” Yaldabaoth admitted.

“May I inquire, sir, as to why both your pants and underpants are on the floor and your bottom seems to be glowing like the fireflies of a warm August night?” Albion asked.

“I must confess I’m at a loss for words,” Yaldabaoth answered.

Morrigan reached over to the dresser, pulled a dictionary off it and handed it to the leprechaun.

“Even more than the sound of spanking,” Albion cleared his throat, “management is concerned about your constant winning at the roulette wheel.”

“It is the luck of the Irish, it is,” Yaldabaoth grinned.

“Our detectors detected a magnet coming from your direction,” Albion stated.

“Ah, for sure ’tis my magnetic personality,” the leprechaun smiled, “overflowing like the River Shannon after a week of spring rains.”

“What about this magnet on your belt?” The detective picked up the leprechaun’s pants.

“As Saint Patrick is my witness, I don’t know how that got there,” the leprechaun protested.

“But Saint Patrick isn’t here to be your witness,” Morrigan pointed out.

“Shibboleth, I don’t know what to say,” Yaldabaoth shook his head.

“You might start by improving the pronunciation of your conversational ancient Hebrew,” Albion noted.

The detective had recently taken a course in conversational ancient Hebrew.

“I know how to punish Yaldabaoth for his offences,” Morrigan once again took the leprechaun over her knee.

“I’ll show myself out,” Albion remarked as he went over to the door, opened it and exited.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday January 19th
2020
Finally posted on 
Monday February 10th
2020.
The Morrigan-Yaldabaoth the
Irish leprechaun story for Anonymole.

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The Magician and The Illusion

February 7, 2020 at 11:24 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, magic, Poetry, Romance) ()

The Magician and The Illusion

The magician ended up with a black eye 
His illusion went astray
The audience saw right through him 
and one patron let him know there’s Hell to pay

But his loyal and sexy assistant remains at his side
Offering him arms of comfort
As at the back of a wagon they hitch a ride

And next to them the old carnival barker sits
His bark definitely worse than his bite
And this circus must plain hit the road out of people’s sight 

The road to Oz was much like this 
Behind the curtain lay smoke and mirrors 
But Kansas whirlwinds and melting witches 
Led to the worst of a wizard’s fears 

Sometimes magic acts fall apart 
Sometimes the illusion will not hold 
But when it does and grips a land
dark history will unfold

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday February 7th
2020.

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Qonzilqointec Takes In Carmen At The Royal Opera House

February 4, 2020 at 11:59 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, love, Music, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec Takes In Carmen At The Royal Opera House

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was in London.

She was to meet her date Dracul Van Helsing this evening to attend the Royal Opera House performance of Georges Bizet’s Carmen.

Interestingly enough, the Bavarian and Austro-Hungarian goat demon Krampus (who had been down in Cornwall visiting his father’s grave) had had tickets to attend this evening’s performance of Carmen.

But at the last minute, the goat demon had come down with a severe allergy to the melody and tune of the song Habanera that Carmen sings in Act 1.

And that was his favourite part of the whole opera so Krampus was unable to attend.

He left his ticket at the box office so some last minute person could buy it.

The ticket was purchased by Dr. Cadbury Rocher who had just finished his final touches on the cannabis pot smoking cactus plant Magical Mystery Tour that was to be delivered to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in Ottawa.

Qonzilqointec and Dracul talked to Dr. Rocher in the lobby prior to curtain call.

They discussed the Iowa caucus which turned out to be a public relations disaster for the U.S. Democratic Party.

The app that was supposed to give the results to the State Committee had failed.

“I was just talking to Renfield about this,” Dr. Rocher said to the Aztec vampiress and Van Helsing referring to the British MP who served on the UK House of Commons Intelligence and Foreign Affairs Committee, “and he’s already determined what happened. Apparently the app was hacked by the billionaire Egyptian vampire Set’s pet cat Nefertiti Galore, Boris Johnson’s pet Jack Russell-cross dog Dilyn and a couple of Her Majesty the Queen’s Welsh corgis.”

“Who did the Iowa Democrats get to develop this app for them?” Dracul inquired.

“Apparently some nutty Australian who calls himself Uncle Ernie,” Rocher replied, “who interestingly enough was arrested at London’s Heathrow Airport yesterday for trying to enter the country illegally. To say nothing of showing up at airport Customs in the nude.”

The Royal Opera House announcer announced that this evening’s performance would start in 5 minutes.

The three headed into the auditorium to take their seats.

Krampus who was listening to the performance on the radio while taking a bath in his hotel room broke into a severe case of hives when the lead female singer playing Carmen started singing Habanera.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 4th
2020

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Aphrodite At Oxford

February 3, 2020 at 11:47 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Aphrodite At Oxford 

The Greek goddess Aphrodite writing her term paper on the Native American myths surrounding the origins of the North American Plains Buffalo

The Greek goddess Aphrodite had recently returned from the town of Stettler, Alberta, Canada where she had been researching Cree and Blackfoot indigenous myths on the origins of the North American Plains Buffalo.

She was putting the finishing touches on her term paper for the class she was taking in World Mythology and Folklore.

The class was taught by Prof. William Charles an Associate Professor of Mythology, Folklore, Vampirism, Lycanthropy and Paranormal Studies at Oxford.

His class was extremely popular and hard to get into.

Nevertheless the Greek goddess Aphrodite when visiting Prof. William Charles in his office before the start of this semester was able to convince the famed supernaturalist into letting her into class even though she had no previous formal education.

The subject Underwater Basketweaving While Emerging From A Giant Oyster Shell On The Beaches of Cyprus wasn’t considered a valid academic course in the view of Oxford University.

Although it was recognized by most American colleges and universities as such in order to get the best high school athletes into their college football and basketball programs.

But after a little gentle persuasion from Aphrodite, the famed supernaturalist let the goddess into his class.

Outside the window of the Greek goddess Aphrodite’s dorm room, the Greek god Ares was endeavouring to get inside as he hadn’t seen his sometime girlfriend ever since she started at Oxford.

It just so happened that strolling along the grounds between the various halls and dormitories was the Celtic stag god Cernunnos with his trusted crossbow and arrow (that he used to kill deer hunters).

Cernunnos was heading to an Oxford artists’ studio where he would be posing as a model and subject for Oxford art students to draw and paint.

The original model scheduled for today’s art session had been an Australian named Uncle Ernie (who had once modelled for Salvador Dali).

But Uncle Ernie had been arrested at London’s Heathrow Airport earlier today for trying to enter the country illegally.

When the totally nude and jock less Uncle Ernie had approached the female UK Customs and Immigration officer and said, “I have nothing to declare”, the agent looking at the body parts Uncle Ernie was trying to cover said that she wholeheartedly agreed but nonetheless facial recognition had determined that Uncle Ernie was on Interpol’s watch list of “characters of dubious reputation and ill repute”.

Within seconds, Uncle Ernie found himself on the floor in handcuffs.

Meanwhile back at the Quad on Oxford, Cernunnos had shot the Greek god Ares in the backside with an arrow.

The resulting commotion and screaming caused Aphrodite to open her dorm window which sent Ares plummeting to the Quad grounds below.

Seeing as how Ares was an Olympian immortal, all he would suffer on this day was a pain in the neck and a pain in the backside.

Aphrodite meanwhile grabbed her finished term paper and headed to Prof. William Charles’ office.

The two spent hours long into the Oxonian night discussing the Native American myth of how the great horned buffalo came to be.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday February 3rd 
2020

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Waiting By The Sea

February 1, 2020 at 10:53 pm (Avatar Speaks, Folklore, Life, love, Poetry, Romance) ()

Waiting By The Sea

Waiting by the sea
waits she
The time has come
The seagulls call
She approaches the ocean’s thrall
By the waves she hears the sirens’ call 

The sirens call for the one 
whose heart is a match for hers
Bareback on horse she rode without spurs
Wild and free was she
Wild and free like the sea

For most, inclining one’s heart can lead to captivity 
But not for she
She whose heart is like the sea

The sirens know who to call 
The one who will just accept her for being she
She whose heart was wild and free
And pulsates like the rising sea.

-A poem written by Christopher
Saturday February 1st
2020

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False Prophets, Peace Deals, Pachamama and Sensuous Qonzilqointec

January 28, 2020 at 11:48 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

False Prophets, Peace Deals, Pachamama and Sensuous Qonzilqointec

A group of Jesuit assassins at the Vatican sat around drinking strawberry daiquiris and Pink Lady cocktails as they waited for their pink fingernail polish to dry before going out for a night on the town.

They were tuned in to BBC Radio where British MP Renfield R. Renfield was being interviewed.

The interviewer was asking Renfield about Uruguayan priest Father Gonzalo Aemilius whom Pope Francis had just named his new personal secretary.

“Well of course Father Gonzalo doesn’t dress like a priest,” Renfield noted, “and he’s someone who’s got the looks of a tennis instructor who would be hired by bored sexually frustrated middle-aged wealthy women who were looking for tennis and other types of encounters.”

“So what are you saying exactly?” The interviewer asked.

“Expect to see a lot of late night stenography sessions going on in the papal residence at the Vatican,” Renfield answered.

“What do we know about Father Gonzalo Aemilius?” The interviewer inquired.

“Well, he replaces the Argentine priest Father Fabian (sounds like the name of a Harlequin historical romance novel cover shirtless and topless male model) Pedacchio who worked alongside the Pope from 2013 to 2019 and who returned last December to his original post at the Congregation of Bishops. Of course Father Fabian Pedacchio just turned 55 last year and as my Welsh parliamentary colleague Morgana’s personal hairdresser Leo noted, “He’s a man who’s really lost his looks the past couple of years.” Now Father Pedacchio is being replaced by Father Gonzalo Aemilius who’s a “rugged handsome 40-year-old” to again quote my Welsh parliamentary colleague Morgana’s personal hairdresser Leo. ”

“Anything else about Father Gonzalo Aemilius?” The interviewer queried.

“Well, I’ll read you what the official Vatican News agency said about his appointment,” Renfield replied.

Renfield then read the excerpt in a voice that sounded like a cross between Hollywood Squares celebrity panelist Paul Lynde and American writer Truman Capote, “Father Aemilius was born in Montevideo on 18th September 1979 and was ordained a priest on 6th May 2006. His face may be familiar to many because he is the one, who the Pope greeted and summoned to him when he was part of the crowd gathered outside a Vatican gate to welcome Pope Francis at the beginning of his pontificate on the morning of 17th March 2013. He recognized him and invited him to accompany him into the church where he was about to celebrate his first Mass with the faithful after his election. At the end of the liturgy, Pope Francis introduced Father Aemilius to all those present, asking them to pray for him and for his work with street children.”

The phone rang in the office of the Jesuit assassins.

It was the Jesuit assassin whose fingernail polish had fully dried who picked up the phone.

“It’s the boss,” said the Jesuit assassin, “He wants to know who will rid him of this troublesome British MP.”

. . .

At the White House today, U.S. President Donald Trump stood alongside Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and announced the Jared Kushner Peace Deal of the Century.

The map of the new Palestinian state that Trump proposed seemed to resemble a salamander.

The sort of salamander as on a 19th Century U.S. Congressional District map that gave rise to the term gerrymandering.

Interestingly enough at about the same time as Trump made his announcement, Hades the Greek god of the Underworld had granted temporary dispensational releases from his realm to the ghosts of Israel’s King Solomon, Hiram the King of Tyre and also Hiram Abiff the architect and master mason (who had once been possessed by the spirit of the Egyptian god Osiris) who had helped build Solomon’s original Temple in Jerusalem.

. . .

In the Caribbean, the scarlet red dress wearing Inca goddess Pachamama riding a 7-headed beast had caused a powerful 7.7 magnitude earthquake that hit between Jamaica, the Cayman Islands and Cuba at a depth of 10 kilometres (6.2 miles).

. . .

Meanwhile in her apartment in Mexico City, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec greeted Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing as he walked through the door:

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 28th
2020.

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Resurrecting Huchuysisa

January 17, 2020 at 11:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Resurrecting Huchuysisa

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had been overseeing a team of sound engineers and technicians who were trying to pick up the audio of the New Year’s video in which Pope Francis slapped the hand of an Asian woman who grabbed him after he had walked away after she had made the Sign of the Cross (which had very much offended Pope Francis’ invisible demonic spirit advisors).

He had done so at the request of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Renfield read the transcript of the audio to the Set Estate mansion’s butler and valet Athelstan.

Renfield (reading the woman’s words) : 

Why destroy their faith? Why destroy the Chinese? Look out for the Chinese’s feelings. Talk to me.”

“And to what is she referring?” Athelstan asked.

“The Vatican-Beijing Agreement on the Church in China which was signed back in September 2018,” Renfield explained, “by which the Vatican sold out the underground Catholic Church in China. Placing them under the control of the Chinese Patriotic Catholic (so-called) Association which regards Xi Jinping as being a higher deity than Jesus Christ. Sort of a Chinese Communist equivalent of the way a certain type of American Evangelical Christian regards Donald Trump.”

“I must confess I’ve never heard of that agreement,” said the nominally Anglican Church of England Athelstan.

“It was negotiated by the Communist predatory homosexual former bishop and cardinal Theodore McCarrick whom Pope Francis was finally forced to laicize back on February 13th 2019,” Renfield noted, “when news of his numerous crimes and misdemeanours involving the rapes of altar boys and young seminarians became far too overwhelming and the evidence far too substantial for Francis to sweep under the men’s health spa hot tub much longer.”

“Where is McCarrick now?” Athelstan inquired.

“Well, he was living in a Franciscan monastery in Kansas where he was supposed to be performing acts of penance and contrition for his crimes,” Renfield sipped from his bottle of bourbon, “but since the start of the New Year he has since moved to a luxury condo in Jacksonville Florida. No doubt he now spends his days on sandy Florida beaches ogling young boys and young male lifeguards and enjoying the hot Florida sun before he finally kicks the bucket and enjoys the extremely hot flames of Tartarus- a place where the cool air conditioning is nil.”

. . .

The Donald Trump defence team for his trial in the Senate were holding an introductory meeting.

Among the Donald’s legal team was Ken Starr who was Special Prosecutor during President Bill Clinton’s impeachment, Pam Bondi who was a former Florida Attorney-General and Alan Dershowitz a retired Harvard University law professor and trial lawyer whose clients included Mike Tyson, O. J. Simpson and notorious rapist of young girls sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

As they sat in the room, a ghost suddenly walked through the portrait painting of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes that was hanging on the wall. 

The ghost put a spectral briefcase down on the table and opened it and pulled out several spectral papers.

“Gentlemen and lady,” the ghost looked at them, “I’m Clarence Darrow.”

Dershowitz dropped his lox and cream cheese bagel all over his trousers.

. . .

Having located where the Inca vampiress Huchuysisa’s ashes were buried in the Peruvian countryside, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing poured Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Phoenix Rising Vampiress Resurrection Elixir all over them.

And the Inca vampiress Huchuysisa rose in front of them.

The ghost of Orson Welles remarked, “My God, I wish I was mortal again.”

He looked over at Dracul and exclaimed, “Van Helsing, is that an extra super large harmonica in your pocket?!”

“No, it isn’t,” Van Helsing answered, “I have never bought any of the notorious Australian Uncle Ernie’s merchandise.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Friday January 17th
2020.

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