Reblog of Shiva Visits An Episcopalian Cathedral
Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote back in 2017.
It shows the interregnum period between the time Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley served as British Members of Parliament and the time they opened up their own Private Eye office in London.
Shiva Visits An Episcopalian Cathedral
Former MPs Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley were on a trip to New York City together.
Both men had been defeated in their respective constituencies by candidates for the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party in the recent British general election.
Agathor Christie of the British Conservatives had been defeated in his rural English constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds by British Transhumanist Renfield R. Renfield (the former Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises).
And Magog Rhys Petley of the British Labour Party had been defeated in his rural Welsh constituency of Newbridge by Transhumanist Morgana Fay Lee (who some people claimed was a vampiress and the niece of the Arthurian era sorceress Morgan Le Fay).
Since both men had two things in common- 1) both being defeated by British Transhumanists and 2) Both having an utter loathing for British Prime…
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Labour Disruption and Strike At Set Enterprises
Last night, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was on his way to the Set Enterprises laboratory to receive a vision from Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster that was intended for his eyes only.
However due to a traffic delay caused by an extremely idiotic driver and the subsequent shooting of that extremely idiotic driver, Renfield was late getting to the Set Enterprises laboratory.
The site was now called Set Enterprises Laboratories and Rug Emporium (as Renfield’s former boss the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had now gone into business with the Persian goddess Anahita to sell Persian rugs together).
They had hired Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess Lenora of Lemuria (who had first met and made out in a police interrogation room at Scotland Yard) to demonstrate how easy it was to hold tantric sex couplings on Persian rugs thus increasing the popularity of sales.
However once Renfield got to the Laboratory and Rug Emporium, the union of Persian rug employees and workers were now on strike after smoking and inhaling Canadian recreational cannabis that had been smuggled aboard a Canadian Federal Government commissioned Air Canada flight from Ottawa to London.
The rug emporium employees were now on strike demanding higher wages so they could buy higher doses of cannabis laced products so they could go on higher trips.
Their picket lines were now surrounding the Set Enterprises building and they weren’t letting anybody in.
Renfield decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to reach under his raincoat and grab his semi-automatic weapon and blow the whole lot of them to kingdom come for two reasons:
Firstly, any tourists present might think they were no longer in London but some locale in the United States and Trump would soon be tweeting his thoughts and prayers to them while not standing up to the narcissistic jackals and jackasses in the NRA who were against any form of gun control (save for a brief period in the 1960s when it became apparent that members of the Black Panthers were buying large amounts of weapons and the NRA were screaming for the government to do something and impose some form of government control over gun purchases but the memory of that brief period the current NRA leadership and membership sought to erase from most History textbooks).
Secondly, Renfield did not want to alienate any potential British Labour Party voter who might be inclined to vote for his British Transhumanist Party (Renfieldian Transhumanism was not your Ray Kurzweil Google brand of Transhumanism or Jeff Bezos Amazon brand of Transhumanism but as the ghost of the late Prague Spring of 1968 Czechoslovakian leader Alexander Dubcek called it, “Transhumanism with a human face.”).
Since the striking rug employees were higher than a kite, Renfield used his new Dr. Cadbury Rocher Cosmos brand Smart Phone to put in a call to the Niburuan ET gray Gali-Gula.
The ET gray Gali-Gula arrived in his UFO Flying Saucer and walked out to speak to the striking workers.
In the platinum plated metallic iron gloves on his hands he carried the marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever.
Strawberry Fields Forever’s normal habitat was the greenhouse of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in Ottawa where the Prime Minister (who had picked up the Prince of Wales’ habit of talking to plants) would go and chat with the cannabis pot smoking cactus plant and inhale the plant’s exhaled smoke as he did so.
Then Justin could truthfully tell the Canadian news media that his lips never touched a marijuana cigarette.
Renfield looked at his watch.
He was late for a hot tub appointment with some of Japan’s top female porn stars who were currently visiting Britain.
Renfield decided he’d leave it to the Niburuan mediator the ET gray Gali-Gula to end the strike.
Michelangelo’s vision for Renfield’s eyes only would have to wait for another day.
His vision of Japanese lady porn stars in a hot tub for his eyes only were far more important.
He left.
The ET gray Gali-Gula told the crowd that his ET gray body was in fact possessed by the spirit of the ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula and they could only see him if they inhaled pot smoke.
The crowd was not impressed and still refused to swear off pot smoking.
Gali-Gula said, “I’ll show you the hazards of excessive pot smoking and inhalation.”
He once again picked up the pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever in his platinum plated metallic iron gloved hands.
“Show them the aftereffects of excessive pot smoking and inhalation,” Gali-Gula addressed Strawberry Fields Forever.
The pot smoking cactus plant then started hiccoughing and sneezing cactus needles in the strikers’ direction.
The strikers still refused to swear off pot smoking.
“Desperate times require desperate measures,” Gali-Gula did his best voice impersonation of Sir Winston Churchill while speaking to Strawberry Fields Forever.
“And now for something completely different,” Gali-Gula spoke to the crowd while impersonating the voice of the Monty Python TV show announcer, “And far more drastic. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau doing a naked phallic impersonation of Donald Trump.”
Justin Trudeau had ingested Dr. Cadbury Rocher designed Reverse Viagra tablets a few hours before so his phallus would be the right size for doing a Donald Trump impersonation.
The holographic image of Justin Trudeau doing a Donald Trump phallic impersonation was astral projected from Ottawa to London.
He had a special guest to help him in his performance.
The image of a naked Justin Trudeau doing a Donald Trump phallic impersonation and doing a lap dance in the naked lap of a totally nude possible future House speaker Nancy Pelosi was an image far too horrifying for even an H.P. Lovecraft to conceive.
It was also an image far too horrifying for the striking employees of Set Enterprises Rug Emporium to receive.
They swore off pot smoking and cannabis inhalation for life.
The strike ended.
Gali-Gula had saved the day and the night.
And PTSD therapists would be receiving a multitude of clients the next day.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 24th
2018.
Russia’s GRU Chief Dead- Who Is Responsible?
Donald Trump was being briefed by the CIA while sitting in his briefs (and looking at photos of Shakira for nobody had bothered telling the Twitterer-In-Chief that she was in fact Colombian) on the death of Russia’s GRU (Military Intelligence Directorate) head Colonel General Igor Korobov.
“So he died from a long illness?” Trump asked.
“Well so the Russian media would have us believe,” said CIA agent and cyborg operative George Akirason as he cleared his throat of both phlegm and nanites, “but in fact Korobov only started feeling unwell back in mid-September after having received a severe reprimand from President Vladimir Putin.”
“And what brought about this reprimand?” Trump asked as he combed both seaweed and Black Sea caviar out of his toupee.
“Because Putin got what he thought was a welcome (but she turned out to be unwelcome) visitor in his bedroom one night,” George Akirason coughed a mixture of both phlegm and nanites into his Stormy Daniels photo emblazoned handkerchief, “a sensuous and lovely Kazakh Dragon Sister but she had a poison ivy laced dildo with her which she proceeded to shove up the Russian leader’s anus. She then stapled a note to Putin’s phallus which had on it a message that said, “You’ll never guess what’s going to happen next.” And the message was signed “R.R.R.” The GRU then conducted raids on the Kazakh Dragon Sister’s Moscow apartment but she had fled back to unknown locales in Kazakhstan. Howver the apartment contained several autographed posters of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.”
“Renfield R. Renfield?” The hair in Trump’s toupee stood on end 😨, “That man gives me nightmares for some reason.”
. . .
German Chancellor Angela Merkel was receiving a briefing from a leather skirted female dominatrix Malaysian agent for the German Federal Intelligence Service.
Chancellor Merkel was astounded by how much the woman looked like world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes.
The woman whose secret agent code name was Magic Mushrooms and Killer Tomatoes spoke, “Contrary to what the media is saying, Colonel General Igor Korobov did not die from his illness. He was found face down in his bathroom with both his pants and Rasputin photo emblazoned boxer shorts pulled down and a 20 pound giant banana (with the words THE MAPLE LEAF AND CANNABIS PLANT FOREVER written on it) shoved up his behind. The trauma of the impact was what killed him. A well known Kazakh Dragon Sister assassin was seen leaving his place.”
. . .
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting in his parliamentary office drinking brandy and smoking cigars with the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill.
“Well,” Renfield raised his glass in a toast, “another successful operation planned by the once and future Prime Ministers of Great Britain. And executed by our beloved Kazakh Dragon Sister secret operative.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 22nd
2018.
A Kazakh Dragon Sister with a love for all things British.
Michelangelo’s Vision of 2018 U.S. Midterm Elections
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was back in the U.K. again after a brief one day Dia de Los Muertos visit to Mexico City where he videotaped the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec ripping out the live still beating heart of a horny sexually predatory and sexually harassing Google exec (one of many who had recently inspired a spate of Google employee strikes across the world).
Renfield then posted the video on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter where it went viral across the Net.
The video was the one thing Renfield did that met with the approval of the #MeTooMovement.
After watching the video, the unlamented former Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein woke up screaming in the night about having a dream of open heart surgery being performed on him without the use of anesthetic.
Another consequence was that Texas cowboys and gunslingers stopped falling in love with Mexican girls in cantinas out in the West Texas town of El Paso much to singer Marty Robbins’ displeasure.
After the burning of the heart was done in front of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl (who because of his advanced age was starting to prefer his meat cooked well done rather than raw or rare these days), the Aztec deity (who was worshipped as Kukulkan by the Mayans) after eating the heart proceeded to sit down on a sofa with a bottle of tequila (containing inside it a worm in front of a biodegradable cardboard tombstone that had for an epitaph POE’S THE CONQUEROR WORM Conquered) in front of a television set and watched Orson Welles’ last film The Other Side of The Wind on Netflix.
Outside his Mexico City penthouse apartment, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith performed one huge storm of a whirlwind as the vampire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky) the head of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change gave a speech on climate change in the city.
Meanwhile back in Qonzilqointec’s penthouse suite on the other side of the street, the Aztec vampiress made out with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing engaging in BDSM foreplay and mystical magic tantric sex afterwards.
Renfield flew back to Britain from Mexico listening to the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour albums on his airplane headphones while eating a nice dinner of curried lamb and curried goats’ legs on Manitoba wild rice.
Back at the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland, the Hindu destroyer and transformer god Shiva was trying to make a curried dinner out of hubris ridden CERN scientists who had just uncovered a “ghost particle” that was about to upset the equilibrium balance of the entire cosmos.
A result of all this was that scientist Stephen Hawking was turning over on his barbeque spit in Tartarus and very much regretting the fact that he had written THERE IS NO GOD in his last book.
His mother’s favourite expression “Famous Last Words” never rang so true as now.
As soon as Renfield R. Renfield walked through the front door of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion, his friend Amadeus Emanon informed him of a vision that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had had in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises laboratories.
“Michelangelo foresees widespread violence, shootings and stabbings at polling stations across America on U.S. mid-term election day,” Amadeus stated.
“I’m not surprised,” Renfield admitted, “I imagine in future U.S. elections, the UN will have to bring in observers from the Afghan Taliban and militant sectarian groups in Iraq to make sure that future American elections are conducted in a less violent and more peaceful manner.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 3rd
2018.
Renfield Makes Minced Mincemeat Out of The Disciples of Santa Muerte
Renfield Makes Minced Mincemeat Out of The Disciples of Santa Muerte
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was disappointed to read on his BBC News App that the drone attack assassination attempt on Venezuelan 🇻🇪 President Nicolás Maduro had failed.
Renfield had asked Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher to design some explosive drones for him which the great scientist had done.
Renfield had then sent the explosive drones to his ally the Venezuelan vampiress Francesca Chavez who along with Renfield had long been plotting the overthrow of the Marxist despot Maduro.
Francesca had hired some anti-Maduro Venezuelan Air Force Officers to carry out the attack.
Sadly they had failed.
Oh well, Renfield thought bitterly, if you want the job done, you generally have to do it yourself.
What with plotting against both Russia’s Putin and Turkey’s Erdogan in Europe, he had very little time these days to go to Latin America and overthrow or successfully assassinate Maduro.
A fact which he had often complained to his spectral friend the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill about.
New Orleans Vampiress Angelique Dumont cleared her throat.
For the British MP was supposed to be having dinner with her and her boyfriend the British concert pianist Amadeus Emanon in a London pub.
Renfield remembered his manners (especially after recalling his latest session with dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes) and paid attention to Amadeus and Angelique’s discussion about the new Winnie The Pooh film the couple had just seen – Christopher Robin.
“Angelique, is that you?” A very beautiful and tearful 😢 young Mexican woman in a red rose patterned summer white dress approached her.
“Conchetta?” Angelique rose to hug and comfort her friend, “what’s wrong?”.
“I just received a text message from my best friend Artemisia back home,” Conchetta wept, “My entire family- mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins- in fact the whole entire village have been wiped out- massacred by the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel. Somehow miraculously Artemisia managed to escape- the only one in the entire village who managed to escape.”
Conchetta tearfully managed to relate the whole story to the trio.
Amadeus and Angelique sat there in a total state of shock.
As did Renfield.
Who also was overtaken by the greatest surge of anger.
“Amadeus, do you know if the Boss,” Renfield was referring to his former and Amadeus’ current employer the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “still has his private Concorde jet on standby at Heathrow?”.
“I believe so,” said Amadeus.
Renfield excused himself paying his share of the bill.
He then rushed back to the Set Mansion in West London where he picked up some special supplies.
On his way out to Heathrow in the limousine, he conversed with friends he knew in the various world intelligence services about the Disciples of Santa Muerte.
He boarded Set’s private Concorde jet and within a few hours arrived in Mexico 🇲🇽 only kilometres from the colossal villa that served as the headquarters of the Disciples of Santa Muerte.
. . .
The Disciples of Santa Muerte didn’t know what hit them.
It had in fact been a Tesla sound wave pulse recently re-discovered by Dr. Cadbury Rocher.
The sound wave paralyzed all the Disciples preventing them from moving.
It didn’t however shut off their nerve and pain sensations or vocal cords for that matter as Renfield could tell from the fact that as he slowly and painfully dismembered them bit by bit, he could still hear a small portion of their loud and shrill agonizing screams through the soundproof earplugs he was wearing.
Renfield’s friend the ghost of Orson Welles was on hand with his ghostly cameras and ghostly lighting crews to film the gory and bloody and excruciatingly slow and painful 😣 bodily dismemberments which the enormous talent of a film director would upload to YouTube later.
Renfield took the decapitated heads of all the slain Disciples of Santa Muerte and posted them on spikes in the Rose Garden of the White House on top of the garden wall underneath a large banner that read I Never Promised You A Rose Garden.
The dismembered hands he put in the glass display case of the expensive gloves department in the exclusive Saks Fifth Avenue store in New York City.
The dismembered feet he put in an expensive Nike shoes display in the same Saks Fifth Avenue store.
Thighs and legs he put outside KFC stores in San Francisco and Los Angeles.
Arms and elbows he put inside display cases in the Baseball ⚾️ Hall of Fame in the village of Cooperstown, New York.
The armless, legless and headless carcasses of cadavers he put outside a Planned Parenthood clinic in Chicago underneath a banner that read Just On The Extremely Minuscule Off Chance You Happen To Run Out of Human Body Parts To Sell To Global Food Conglomerates and Pharmaceutical Companies.
. . .
Q-Amon the great sorcerer and former Egyptian Pharaoh had one literal Hell of a massive bowel movement on his Columbian cocaine plantation when he heard about the wholesale slaughter of every single member of the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel in Mexico 🇲🇽.
Renfield’s action was immediately publicly condemned by Pope Francis and his lavender clique of flashy flaming Liberace style priests for failing to take into account the personal nobility of soul of all the drug gang members.
The action also launched an intense public debate among commentators, analysts and self-proclaimed journalists on YouTube on whether or not this new Machiavellian and Genghis Khan Style approach to the War On Drugs might prove more effective than the limpwristed style approach to the War on Drugs that had been conducted by the U.S. government and its allies for the past 35 years which seemed to be going absolutely nowhere.
One Fox News commentator even speculated (for which he was soundly condemned in a tweet by Donald Trump) on whether this new Renfieldian approach to the Latin American drug cartels might deem the Trumpian need to build a wall on the southern border of the U. S. totally unnecessary.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 4th
2018.
Renfield Crashes Vladimir Putin’s Inauguration
Renfield Crashes Vladimir Putin’s Inauguration
Today Monday May 7th 2018.
Vladimir Putin is inaugurated President of Russia for the 4th time.
The ceremony is held in an ornate Kremlin hall in front of 5000 guests.
It was the same hall used for the coronations of Czars Alexander II, Alexander III and Nicholas II.
Putin walked alone through several hallways and several rooms to the swearing-in ceremony.
He was hailed by the guests as the omnipotent Saint George ready to slay the Western dragon 🐉.
After being sworn in, Putin then gave the Inaugural Address to those assembled.
It was at that moment that British MP Renfield R. Renfield appeared carrying a machine gun.
Observers from the FSB (Russia’s state security intelligence service) recognized the weapon as one that had been given to Mr. Renfield by Oliver North the newly appointed President of the NRA (National Rifle Association).
Mr. North had bought the weapon from a Walmart store when he went in dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte but wearing an Adolf Hitler moustache under his nose.
Ollie (as Ronald Reagan used to call him) was not asked to produce any ID when he purchased the weapon while singing the song, “I want to mow down and kill hundreds of people today.”
FSB agents immediately started firing their guns at Renfield but he kept on going.
Even stranger no blood flowed from the MP.
The agents looked at one another terrified.
Mr. Renfield pulled a giant Bavarian sausage out of his vest jacket (he was wearing a sharp looking Armani suit) and hit former German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder (a staunch Putin supporter and current head of a branch of Russian gas giant Gazprom) over the head with it.
The sausage seemed to go right through Mr. Schröder causing him a great amount of pain.
“Bumsun it all to Hell!” Herr Schröder shouted in a mixture of German and English.
Renfield then pointed his gun at Putin and fired the trigger.
The Russian leader ducked.
The mysterious bullets left laser marks on the podium.
Finally FSB agents tackled Renfield and he vanished into thin air.
“It’s a bloody hologram,” Putin shouted as he got up off the floor, “who the Hell is manipulating that?”.
Putin was right.
It was a hologram invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher in a technological race with French government scientists to invent the perfect holographic image.
Dr. Rocher won the contest because he developed a holographic image of Renfield R. Renfield whereas French government scientists only invented a holographic image of French President Emmanuel Macron.
DARPA scientists in the U.S. decided not to take part in the race to develop the perfect holographic image as the Oval Office Executive Order directive from above directed them to make a holographic image of Donald Trump dressed only in leopard skin briefs and even the killer robot designing mad scientists at DARPA had yet to descend into that level of evil and madness.
Again Putin’s voice echoed through the Kremlin hall, “It’s a bloody hologram and I want to know who is manipulating it?”.
In his lobster tank at London’s Set Enterprises laboratory, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was using one claw to operate the joystick of the Cadbury Rocher designed waterproof PlayStation that controlled the Renfield holographic image in Moscow and with his other claw he was using it to play the harmonica in a beautiful musical rendition of Henry Mancini’s Moon River.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 7th
2018.
Haiku About Stephen Hawking R.I.P.
Haiku About Stephen Hawking R.I.P.
Body was prison
But mind so great it was free
to explore cosmos
Radio Contact: Close Encounters of The Vintage Kind
Radio Contact: Close Encounters of The Vintage Kind
It is the first known asteroid to visit our solar system from interstellar space.
Scientists who have studied its speed and trajectory believe it originated in a planetary system around another star.
The object has a strange elongated shape making it look like a cigar.
Reminding one of that little known story from Classical Greek mythology where the Greek god Zeus sailing in his chariot across the heavens asked in Bill Clintonesque fashion, “Did anyone see where I put my cigar?”.
The object is travelling extremely fast with enough speed to avoid being captured by our Sun’s gravitational pull and is on a very eccentric trajectory eventually taking it out of our solar system.
The object is at least 400 metres long.
And it is 10 times longer than it is wide.
That ratio makes it more extreme than any asteroid or comet observed in our solar system.
The object rotates rapidly and is subject to dramatic changes in brightness.
Although believed to have formed around another star, scientists think it has been wandering across the Milky Way unattached to any star system for hundreds of millions of years before its chance encounter with our solar system.
The object has been given the name Oumuamua which means “a messenger from afar arriving first” in the native Hawaiian language.
The name reflects the object being discovered by a Hawaii-based astronomer at an observatory in Maui.
It was discovered on October 19th this year by Rob Weryk a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Hawaii Institute For Astronomy.
The discovery was made at the Pan-Starrs1 Observatory on Maui’s Haleakala volcano.
On the off chance that this first known interstellar asteroid in our solar system might have alien 👽 technology on it, an initiative backed by Russian billionaire entrepreneur venture capitalist and physicist Yuri Milner will use a radio telescope to listen for signals from it.
The team’s efforts will begin tomorrow with astronomers observing the asteroid across four different radio frequency bands.
. . .
80-year-old Saskatchewan farmer Jonas Watson was in excellent physical health.
He still owned and ran his large farmstead in central Saskatchewan.
An excellent mechanic, he still repaired his own farm machinery.
A lot of it was more than 40 or 50 years old but was still in excellent shape due to Watson’s caring hand.
Watson also repaired old clocks and watches as well as old TVs.
Sadly the only object that Jonas was unable to repair was the old classic vintage 1934 antique St. Regis Gothic Cathedral Radio that was made by ExceptionalRadios.
The radio had belonged to his father who had bought it in the year that it was made.
Try as he might, even Jonas, with all his skill and technical know how, was unable to get it working again.
Still the old radio was lovingly kept on a mantelpiece above the old fireplace in the farmhouse living room for all to see.
Jonas had not touched or worked on the radio in months.
Yet tonight on this evening of December 12th 2017 (the first evening of Hanukkah 2017) the radio suddenly came to life and turned on by itself as Jonas rocked in his rocking chair.
Jonas could hear a crackle coming from the radio speaker and then a rather peculiar electronic sounding voice saying, “We have arrived. Attention. We have arrived. And we are the first among many.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 12th
2017.
Nikola Tesla, Tantric Sex and The Eiffel Tower
Nikola Tesla, Tantric Sex and The Eiffel Tower
The stranger stood at the window of the Paris apartment he had rented for his birthday.
He lit a cigarette and gazed at the Eiffel Tower in the distance.
He then turned and looked at the beautiful woman who sat on his bed.
She looked exactly like the woman in one of his favourite contemporary music videos.
She was even wearing the same red halter top and sexy red skirt that the woman was wearing in the video.
He had run into her in a Paris martini 🍸 bar earlier this evening and was glad that “of all the martini bars in Paris he could have walked into, he walked into that one” to paraphrase a comment made by Humphrey Bogart in the movie Casablanca.
“Are you coming to bed?” She purred at him.
“I am,” the stranger put a Tesla coil and radio receiver on the window sill, “and with you with me, I’ll probably be coming in bed as well.”
He adjusted the wireless frequency on his Apple Watch ⌚️ and then walked over to the bed and started passionately kissing the woman in the red skirt.
She fell backwards on to the bed and raised her skirt.
The stranger noticed that she wasn’t wearing any panties.
He smiled.
He was glad to be with a woman who followed that Girl Guide motto Be Prepared.
As he mounted her, a wireless transmission hit the receiver at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
The wireless transmission had actually been sent 114 years earlier back on July 14th 1903 by Nicola Tesla at his Wardenclyffe Tower in Shoreham, Long Island, New York.
The Eiffel Tower then relayed the transmission to the Tesla coil and radio receiver on the window sill of the birthday celebrating stranger’s rented apartment.
The Tesla coil and radio receiver then sent the transmission to the stranger’s Apple Watch as a receiver.
The transmission then sent a major electrical discharge through the man’s body and the body of the woman in the red skirt causing both to have a major earth shaking climax and orgasm simultaneously.
“Holy Christ,” the woman shouted.
“Well, I’ve always thought of myself as the world’s greatest sinner but thanks for the compliment,” the man fell backwards on to his pillow and lit a cigarette.
As a result of this birthday night orgy of Teslian physics and tantric sex, the world was about to change forever.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 28th
2017.
Reflections On The Mystery of Love
October 23, 2018 at 10:23 pm (Commentary, Literature, love, Science, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (Akira, Lasetter, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster, Paul, The Egyptologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury)
“Love is a mystery, the world’s greatest mystery, a mystery so great that even I Hercules Poirot the world’s greatest detective will never be able to solve it.”
– Hercules Poirot the great Belgian detective created by British writer Agatha Christie
“Who has seen the wind? Neither you nor I. Yet we have all felt its effects.”
-Canadian writer W.O. Mitchell in his book Who Has Seen The Wind?
God is love and he that abideth in love abideth in God and God in him.
– I John 4:8
“There is no God.”
-Stephen Hawking
The fool has said in his heart, There is no God.
– Psalm 14:1
General to Egypt’s King Ptolemy I:
I regret to say your Majesty that the great mathematician Euclid has died of insanity.
Ptolemy I: And what brought about this insanity?
General: He was trying to find a mathematical equation to explain love.
-From an ancient Egyptian manuscript discovered by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s personal Egyptologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision in his lobster tank at London’s Set Enterprises on how a future scene would be written in a great science-fiction novel:
Paul looked at Lasetter, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”.
Lasetter indeed looked pale (he really should spend more time out in the sunlight), “I wish I had.”
From the expression on Lasetter’s face, Paul figured that now would not be the time to tell him that the IRS had dropped by half an hour ago to tell him that he Lasseter was now the subject of a tax audit.
“What’s wrong?” Paul asked.
“It’s Akira,” Lasetter answered, “She’s gone totally off the rails. She’s up and done something that I have no explanation for.”
“What’s she done?” Paul asked with trepidation feeling the butterflies in his stomach and wondering what bizarre meteorological phenomenon was taking place on the other side of the world as a result of all this.
“She’s fallen in love,” Lasseter peed his pants.
“She’s what?” Paul handed him a towel and started to look around for the nearest washroom himself.
“Fallen in love?” Paul gasped, “How the Hell did that happen?”.
“How the Hell should I know?” Lasetter retorted, “An AI sex robot actually falling in love? I’m afraid no matter how hard I’ve tried to formulate one, there are no algorithms to explain the origin of the phenomenon of love.”
“You mean to say there’s actually something you don’t know?” Paul was genuinely shocked.
“Apparently,” Lasetter took a nice long hard sip on his phallus shaped whiskey flask.
-A scene from The Great Unknown Science-Fiction Novel written by the great unknown science-fiction writer George Finneganberg.
-A personal essay, commentary and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 23rd 2018
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