Tiny Tony

December 24, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Christmas, Music, Poetry, Radio, Songs, Theatre Arts) (, )

Everyone sings of Rudolph
And Frosty the Snowman too
And all the other happy folks
That make Christmas dreams come true
But there’s one little fellow
Who’s forgotten every year
He’s Santa’s special barber
Who trims old Santa’s hair

He’s Tiny Tony
He stands upon the chair
He’s such a little shaver
To take care of Santa’s hair
He’s Tiny Tony
Who everyone should meet
Happy Tiny Tony
Keeps Santa looking neat

When Christmas Eve comes here at last
And all the bags are packed
And Santa knows which boys and girls
Have been good or bad
He’ll stop into Tony’s barbershop
And you’ll hear old Santa say,
A little off the side, a little off the top
For tomorrow is Christmas Day

He’s Tiny Tony
He stands upon the chair
He’s such a little shaver
To take care of Santa’s hair
He’s Tiny Tony
Who everyone should meet
Happy Tiny Tony
Keeps Santa looking neat

Santa’s hair is all in place
His beard is neat and trim
And you can see his jolly face
Because Tony keeps it prim
If you ever visit the North Pole
The pole is quite a sight
For it’s just like a barber pole
It’s painted red and white

He’s Tiny Tony
He stands upon the chair
He’s such a little shaver
To take care of Santa’s hair
He’s Tiny Tony
Who everyone should meet
Happy Tiny Tony
Keeps Santa looking neat.

-A song written by
Bob Bradburn
CHQT Radio Producer
and Host
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
1967.

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One Silent Night

December 23, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Christmas, Culture, History, Music, Poetry, Songs) (, , )

It was a quiet night in 1816
When a young Austrian priest
Joseph Mohr
Went for a walk
Around the village of Oberndorf
In Austria

He looked out over a very quiet
snow-laden town
And the stars glistening
In the frosty heavens above

In his mind’s eye
He saw a beautiful young maiden
Wrapping a newborn babe
In a blanket
In a stable
In the back courtyard
Of an old inn
At the edge of a small town

The young maiden sang the sweetest lullaby
To her young son
He did not understand the words to the song
The young maiden sang
But it was the sweetest melody he had ever heard

He went home and wrote words to the melody
He did not know the words the young maiden sang
But he wrote the words of what he himself
Saw that night

A couple of years later
Franz Zaber Gruber
The choir director
Of Saint Nicholas Church
In Oberndorf
Wrote music to accompany
The words that Father Mohr
Had written to accompany
The melody he heard in his mind

And that Christmas Eve in 1818
At Saint Nicholas Church in Oberndorf
Austrian villagers first heard
The song lyrics and melody
To
Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht

Silent night, holy night.

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday December 23rd 2020
The Night Before
Christmas Eve 2020.

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Reblog of The Wild Lindsay Lohan Girl

October 27, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Entertainment, Folklore, Humour, Poetry, Satire, Songs) (, , , , )

This was a poem I wrote 13 years ago way back in July 2007 when actress Lindsay Lohan and her shenanigans were big in the news. Written to the tune of the Irish folk song about colonial Australia entitled The Wild Colonial Boy.

Dracul Van Helsing

 The Wild Lindsay Lohan Girl


The Wild Lindsay Lohan Girl
A song written by Christopher
aka Dracul Van Helsing
July 25th, 2007
to the tune of the old Irish song
The Wild Colonial Boy

There was a wild Lindsay Lohan girl, Lindsay Lohan was her name
when it came to finding cocaine, she claimed she’d been framed
She was not doing dope, her car just went for a twirl
and dearly did the tabloids love the Wild Lindsay Lohan girl.

At the early age of sixteen years, she had more than a thousand beers
and to California traffic laws, she gave several bronx cheers
She went up on the sidewalk running over Patrolman Merle
a terror to the highways was the Wild Lindsay Lohan girl.

One fine evening as Lindsay rode along
she threw out the window her very thin thong
Three mounted troopers charged her down
this drunken airheaded clown

View original post 106 more words

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Renfield Ends His Podcast With A Song

August 23, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Music, News, Songs, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Sunday night livestream video podcast analyzing geopolitical affairs and current events.

Tonight he decided to end his podcast by singing a song.

He came down to the last item before singing a song,

“Last night my best sources in Istanbul tell me that the Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian the Great) beat the crap out of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan for turning a former Orthodox Byzantine Christian monastery into an Islamic mosque.
She couldn’t have beat the entire crap out of him because if she had, there wouldn’t have been much left of him. If she had beat the entire crap out of him, they could have buried him in a cigar box.”

Renfield then broke into a song.

It was a country music song in which Renfield gave a stirring country musical rendition – a combination of the voices of Johnny Cash, Kenny Rogers and Marty Robbins rolled into one.

Sang Renfield,

“When the moo cows, when they make milk,
It’s the only milk I do adore,
When the moon shines over the cow shed,
I hope the cows are making plenty more…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 23rd
2020.

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The Donald T-Rump Song

October 24, 2018 at 9:44 pm (Arts, Celebrities, Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Music, News, Poetry, Politics, Satire, Songs) (, , , , , , , , , )

Oh, let us drink a drink, a drink
to Donald T-Rump, T-Rump
the saviour of the human race
or so he thought in his head
for which a poor red spider monkey bled

Now Donald T-Rump thought he was Julius Caesar
because he was just that type of senile geezer
but he forgot his Roman history
it’s certainly no mystery
Julius was assassinated
dying very constipated
and Augustus took over
like a four leaf clover
while Jared Kushner returns home from Dover
to take the reigns of power
for it is the False Messianic hour.

-A song written
by Christopher
Friday October 19th
2018
to the tune of
The Irish Rovers song
Lily The Pink

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Tobey Kai Sings Who Are You?

August 12, 2018 at 10:17 pm (Commentary, Culture, Music, music videos, News, Personal essays, Songs) (, , , )

Tobey Kai Sings Who Are You?

There are certain news stories that one watches on the news that can really touch one.

It happened to me tonight while I was watching the local news.

The announcer talked about a woman who suffered brain injury from a ski accident 7 months ago.

She was skiing down a hill when she was accidentally hit by another skier who was skiing.

The collision caused a brain injury.

Since the accident, she has suffered some short term memory loss.

The story then went on to mention that she was a singer and shortly before the accident she had written and recorded a song about her experiences with her grandfather who was suffering from Alzheimer’s.

The song relates words her grandfather actually spoke to her when she would go visit him.

The song is called Who Are You?

Words that her grandfather said to her every time she visited him.

In the news story tonight, she told the interviewer that the words of the song now seem to apply to her as well since her accident and brain injury with its effects.

She says the song is almost like a gift from her former self to her present self as she now struggles to find out who she is.

Of course we all have days (and even a few sleepless nights) when we all ask Ourselves that very question, Who are you?

Sadly there are people in the world whose struggle with that question is even harder than most of us have ever faced.

-A personal essay
written by Christopher
Sunday August 12th
2018.

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Old Time Movie About A Ghost From A Wishing Well

May 9, 2018 at 10:44 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Ghost Story, Movies, Music, music videos, Songs, Video, videos) (, , , )

Old Time Movie About A Ghost From A Wishing Well

Here’s a photo montage music video I made and posted on YouTube 10 years ago:

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Greer Garson, Silvio Berlusconi, Renfield R. Renfield and The Green-Eyed Monster

March 5, 2018 at 11:40 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Music, News, Politics, Songs, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Greer Garson, Silvio Berlusconi, Renfield R. Renfield and The Green-Eyed Monster

Renfield R. Renfield was watching the BBC Culture segment’s Film Critic Sir Laurence Camembert giving a commentary on television.

Said Camembert while eating a plate of cheddar cheese, “It was 75 years ago last night, that the Oscars for 1942 were presented, back in the days when movies were about real people and not comic book characters. Greer Garson’s acceptance speech for winning Best Actress for Mrs. Miniver was said to have lasted about 6 minutes but a little known aspect of the speech was she spent at least 5 minutes of it attacking Donald Trump.”

“Wow,” said Amadeus Emanon while eating a bowl of 6 dozen oysters, “do you suppose Greer Garson was in telepathic clairvoyant communication with our lobster Michelangelo?”.

“I think Sir Camembert was joking,” Renfield said wryly while drinking a rye whiskey 🥃.

“Oh,” said Amadeus and then asked, “what cheese do you think goes best with oysters? Camembert or cheddar?”.

“I suppose it all depends on one’s dairy 🥛 orientation,” Renfield commented as he read a brochure from the All-Inclusive Dairy Producers of Europe.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Amadeus announced.

“Well, please don’t let me stop you,” said Renfield who had already got caught in a very peculiar shower on the way home from Parliament this afternoon.

As Amadeus marched off to the bathroom whistling the song “Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves…”, Renfield watched a story on BBC News about how former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was flashed by a topless woman protestor at a polling booth while voting in yesterday’s Italian parliamentary elections.

“Shit,” sighed Renfield, “I was never flashed by a beautiful topless woman protestor when I voted in last year’s British parliamentary elections. Some guys have all the luck.”

“I don’t recall having taken any Viagra today,” a shocked and somewhat surprised Amadeus shouted from the bathroom.

“Some guys do nothing but complain,” Renfield added.

Renfield walked out the door into the snow and the rain singing that old Rod Stewart song, “Some guys have all the luck… Some guys get all the breaks” but quickly switched over to the lyrics of the Glen Campbell song Rhinestone Cowboy, “And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain…” when a sudden flood of snow and rain hit Renfield and started carrying him away in the direction of the Thames River.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 5th
2018.

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For Valentine’s Day: Anything For Love Video

February 14, 2018 at 9:10 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Music, Songs, Video) (, , , , , )

For Valentine’s Day: Anything For Love Video

For this Valentine’s Day I am posting the link to a photo montage music video I made 10 years ago set to the tune of the Gordon Lightfoot song Anything For Love.

Canadian singer Gordon Lightfoot who wrote the lyrics and chords for Anything For Love had an uncle who lived on a farm near Crossfield, Alberta, Canada.

My paternal grandparents also had a farm near Crossfield and one summer back in the early 1940s, Gordon’s uncle asked my dad and my uncle if they wouldn’t mind babysitting little Gordon for the day.

So my dad and my uncle did that.

So I guess one of my sole claims to fame is that one summer day back in the early 1940s my dad and uncle babysat a little boy who grew up to be a major international singer/songwriter and the man who has the unofficial title of Canada’s national poet-laureate.

Here then is the photo montage video I created where the photos I arranged and edited were set in sync to the lyrics of the Gordon Lightfoot song Anything For Love.

Happy Valentines Day. ❤️

-Christopher

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Haiku About Scottish Singer Susan Boyle’s 2009 Appearance On Britain’s Got Talent

July 18, 2015 at 7:32 pm (Entertainment, Music, Musicals, Poetry, Songs, Television, TV Shows) (, , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Scottish Singer Susan Boyle’s 2009 Appearance On Britain’s Got Talent

She did dream a dream
wowing stern Simon Cowell
dreams sometimes come true

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