Asmodeus, Bill de Blasio, Gal Gadot, Pachamama, Nimrod and The Miraculous Crucifix

April 2, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Asmodeus, Bill de Blasio, Gal Gadot, Pachamama, Nimrod and The Miraculous Crucifix

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio (like all Marxist totalitarian despots in waiting outside Communist China and North Korea) was trying his hardest to use the Coronavirus pandemic to shut down religious centres of worship like churches and synagogues permanently.

He had announced last Friday that not only would those places of worship in New York City that remained open and ignored social distancing be fined but they may be closed permanently.

Mainland Chinese leader Xi Jinping and the ghosts of Josef Stalin and Mao Tse-tung (roasting away on their respective spits down in Tartarus) heartedly approved of Mayor Bill de Blasio’s announcement.

As Mayor Bill left his home today, he was surprised to get a cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity.

Meanwhile Gal Gadot who was wondering whether as a celebrity she was subject to the same home isolation rules as those of the common masses was putting her make-up on.

She had recently led a “star” studded cast of celebrity airheads and freaks in singing John Lennon’s song Imagine.

One little girl (whose grandmother had just died from the Coronavirus that morning) started bawling when she saw a TV news clip of Gal Gadot singing “Imagine there’s no Heaven…”

A short time later as Gal Gadot was once again filming and recording herself on social media, a cream pie was thrown in her face by an invisible entity.

“She doesn’t look so wonderful now,” Amadeus Emanon skyped to his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

. . .

The U.S. Navy destroyer the U.S.S. Spiro Agnew was sailing in the Caribbean Sea.

Ostensibly as part of a fleet of warships to stop the smuggling of illegal drugs.

Although there were some aboard the ship who wondered if it wasn’t to prepare for a U.S. military invasion of Venezuela.

That Trump might cave in to the American Deep State’s desire to invade Venezuela as a way of diverting the American people’s attention from the pandemic they were in.

Last week U.S. Attorney-General William Barr announced that he was charging Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro and other senior officials in the country with narco-terrorism, drug trafficking, money laundering and corruption.

Even with social distancing, none of those assembled for the Barr announcement in the U.S. Justice Department building were at close enough range to one of the pillars in the foyer to notice the dusty cob web covered skeleton of one John Q. Doe who had, 30 years ago, said, “I’m going to hold my breath until the U.S. Justice Department charges the American CIA with narco-terrorism, drug trafficking, money laundering and corruption.”

Doe might still be alive today if he had not taken his own statement so literally.

So there was always the possibility that an invasion of Venezuela would fall in line with the announced policy of stopping the smuggling of illegal drugs across the Caribbean Sea.

Meanwhile aboard the U.S.S. Spiro Agnew, a U.S. Navy sailor had just spotted the ghostly outline of Christopher Columbus’ flagship the Santa Maria as well as the haunted ghost ship the Flying Dutchman.

. . .

The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were sitting in the middle of an empty Saint Peter’s Square in Rome drinking bottles of cognac.

They noticed a coffin going by.

“I wonder if that’s a Coronavirus victim,” Nimrod said as he used his long tongue to carefully lick up every drop of the precious liquid from the bottle that he had for the most part emptied.

“According to my sources,” Asmodeus lit himself 3 dozen cigarettes and put them in his mouth, “that coffin contains the 14th Century Sienese School Miraculous Crucifix that survived the San Marcello al Corso Church fire of May 22nd 1519 and halted the Great Plague of Rome of 1522 but was unable to withstand Pope Francis’ long-winded Urbi et Orbi speech of this past March 27th 2020 as Francis blathered on comfortably standing under a canopy while the Miraculous Crucifix got drenched in the pouring rain since it was outdoors by itself with no canopy protecting it. The wood on the sculpture apparently tumefied and exploded as the rainwater penetrated it.”

“What part of Italy is the most devastated by the Coronavirus?” Nimrod asked as he opened up a bottle of Mexican beer that was more popular outside Mexico than it was inside.

“It’s the town of Bergamo Italy (population 122,000) that’s the epicenter of the epidemic,” Asmodeus answered as he used a fire extinguisher to put out his burning mouth, “where over 600 each day are dying from the virus.”

“Why does the name Bergamo ring a bell?” Nimrod inquired as church bells rang in the distance.

“It was the Bishop and the Diocese of Bergamo that were the first in Italy to publish the prayer to the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama on their website,” Asmodeus tried to bring back to life his water drenched cigarettes but was having about as much success as the Pope Francis invited Amazon female shaman who was using her rattles to try to raise the Miraculous Crucifix from its water drenched coffin.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 2nd
2020
The 15th Anniversary 
of the death 
of Pope Saint John Paul II

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Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

March 26, 2020 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having a conversation with British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Both men were 6 meters away from one another so they wouldn’t be shot by killer drones recently commandeered by WHO (the World Health Organization) for those who violated the world body’s social distancing rules.

Athelstan was also wearing a face mask.

Although whether this was because he feared getting the Coronavirus or because he had just cleaned out the kitty litter box belonging to Nefertiti Galore (the vampire Set’s fiercely protective house cat) is a matter for speculation.

“So, Mr. Renfield,” Athelstan coughed through his face mask, “I hear that Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam issued an Executive Order this past Monday making it a criminal offense to hold a Church service with more than 10 people present. If found guilty, people could be imprisoned for 12 months and/or fined $2,500.”

“I imagine,” Renfield lit his pipe, “that the Baal and Baphomet worshipping Marxist despot Ralph Northam was positively ejaculating in ecstasy and orgasm at being able to sign such an Executive Order. I don’t imagine he’ll ever bother rescinding it even when the pandemic is over.”

“Probably not, sir,” Athelstan dusted off a portrait painting of the late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher dressed in a medieval Iron Maiden torture chamber item suit, “Did you hear that Pope Francis’ personally designated papal successor Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle is saying let’s overcome the Coronavirus with a pandemic of love?”.

“Well,” Renfield sipped his pipe, “Isn’t that jackass just the epitome of romance?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was flying a magic shamrock flying carpet from his rented farmhouse in Vermont to New York City.

Yaldabaoth had recently left Ireland after that country had closed all its pubs (As Yaldabaoth remarked at the time, “You know a world situation is serious when it forces Ireland to close all its pubs.”)

He had gone to Vermont hoping that the pubs would be open.

Many of them were closed but lucky for Yaldabaoth, there were plenty of Vermont country gentlemen who made their own moonshine.

Yaldabaoth rented his Vermont farmstead from another Irish leprechaun The Fantastic Flanigan.

The Fantastic Flanigan had the honour of being the world’s shortest UFC fighter.

He also had the honour of being the world’s only always defeated UFC fighter.

Generally all the other UFC fighters used the Fantastic Flanigan as practice for the day the old medieval sport of dwarf tossing was once again brought back into the world.

It so happened that the Fantastic Flanigan owned a flying carpet (made from magic shamrocks) so he had left it behind in the barn for Yaldabaoth to use.

Flanigan was currently spending his social isolation time at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

As Yaldabaoth approached New York City, he was shocked to see the Big Apple surrounded by an army of Dullahans (A Dullahan was a black horse riding headless horseman of death).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 26th
2020

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Amorous Laetitia, Teilhard, Pachamama and The New World Order

March 25, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Amorous Laetitia, Teilhard, Pachamama and The New World Order

Amorous Laetitia the familiar black cat of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft (an animal who sadly was never mentioned in most Greek mythology textbooks) was wandering the lonely streets of Rome.

It was rather nice of that Coronavirus to be keeping people off the streets for her.

Amorous Laetitia broke into her favourite Rome taverna (which was now closed because of the countrywide lockdown) and helped herself to a bottle of Baileys Irish Cream which she poured into ten large saucers for Amorous Laetitia preferred drinking Baileys Irish Cream to drinking milk.

Afterwards she pranced down the street doing a feline Irish jig which was the usual after effect of drinking Baileys Irish Cream that came upon her.

As she pranced and danced, Pachamama the Inca earth mother goddess walked by accompanied by the flaming fiery disembodied head of Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

Pachamama had been in the Vatican quite a bit recently ever since wooden statues of her had been brought into the Vatican Gardens last October.

Amorous Laetitia herself had been living in the Vatican the past several years ever since her mistress Hecate’s head had been buried inside the High Altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica roughly around the same time that Pope Francis had written an apostolic exhortation on love and the family that he called Amoris Laetitia.

Last December at a Vatican Christmas Concert, a female shaman from the Amazon had led various Italian Catholic bishops and priests into praying to Pachamama as they held their hands over their hearts to pick up the vibrations of Mother Earth.

Later the Missionary Society of The Italian Conference of Catholic Bishops had published a prayer to Pachamama asking her to impart her special blessings on the land of Italy.

And now a few months later in March 2020, Italy’s death toll from the Coronavirus was now higher than that of China where, as Donald Trump is never tired of reminding us, the Coronavirus originated.

So, if Amorous Laetitia could talk, she might ask, “How is that prayer and those blessings working out for you so far, Bishops?”.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set were having a discussion on which particular group of globalist elitists were going to use this Coronavirus pandemic as an excuse to bring about a New World Order (the globalist euphemism for a one world government) under their control.

Mused Set, “There were always various theories on how the globalists would be able to get the world to become as one and accept a New World Order. One theory was the world would become as one as a result of fear of nuclear war. Another theory was that the globalists would stage a phoney ET invasion from outer space to get the world to become one. Yet another theory was the globalists would use fear of climate change. Yet nobody anywhere predicted that it would be a little tiny virus running amuck that would cause the world such panic that it would be forced to act in unison as one which might allow the globalist totalitarian with the winning deck of cards in his pocket to step up upon the world stage and collect all the marbles. The answer of how to bring this all about lay with an eency weency virus.”

“The answer was under our noses all this time,” Renfield noted as he sneezed.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 25th
2020.

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The Black Hand, Gnostic God Abraxas, Thanatotheristes, Teilhard and Tezcatlipoca

March 23, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Black Hand, Gnostic God Abraxas, Thanatotheristes, Teilhard and Tezcatlipoca 

Sexual predatory Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein was showering by himself in a shower at the Wende Correctional Facility near Buffalo, New York.

He suddenly dropped the soap.

He bent over to pick it up.

An 8 foot tall giant mammalian bat with the head of a Thanatotheristes (the name meant Reaper of Death in Greek and referred to a new species of T-Rex that had been discovered 10 years ago in the Western Canadian province of Alberta) pulled out his phallus (which was a living cobra snake) from the pants of the extra tall extra large sized waterproof Armani suit he was wearing and sodomized Weinstein in the rear end as he was bending over.

“Where the Hell did you come from?” Asked a surprised Weinstein.

“From Hell,” the strange hybrid answered, “I’m the demon of the Covid-19 Coronavirus.”

“That’s Chinese virus,” a small hybrid creature who was part weasel and part worm and who was a staunch Donald Trump supporter remarked as he crawled across the prison shower room floor.

The weasel worm hybrid was crushed by the bat body Thanatotheristes headed cobra phallic Covid-19 Coronavirus demon.

Later the news media reported that Weinstein had come down with the Coronavirus.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was looking into his pot smoking late Victorian/early Edwardian antique mirror when suddenly the image of Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of smoking mirrors appeared to him.

Spoke Tezcatlipoca, “Tomorrow as you bring forth emergency legislation to deal with the financial and economic fallout from the Coronavirus crisis, I want you to include Emergency Financial Powers Legislation that will give your Finance Minister Bill Morneau power to govern the economy by dictatorial fiat – raise taxes, lower taxes, get rid of old taxes, bring in new taxes- without needing the approval of the Canadian Parliament beforehand. Grant him this power until December 2021.”

“Why should I do that?” Inquired a stunned Justin.

“Just do it,”” Tezcatlipoca blew great plumes of smoke as he blew his top.

“All right,” answered Justin meekly.

. . .

The disembodied head of the Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (who had flames of fire emerging from the silver gray locks of hair on his head) was writing a poem on the walls of a subway station in Moscow, Russia.

The poem was being written for him by a severed hand that had been burnt charcoal black.

The severed hand dubbed the Black Hand had once belonged to the Norse god Tyr but had been bitten off by the fierce Norse wolf Fenrir when Tyr bound him.

The hand had been burnt a charcoal black after the Battle of Kosovo had been fought between the Serbian Prince Lazar and the Ottoman Turks on June 15th 1389 when a group of surviving warriors had tried to cook dinner for themselves.

The hand in the fire, after it had been burnt a charcoal black, crawled away.

Teilhard directed the Black Hand to write to the Coronavirus,

“Oh, what a beautiful virus you are, you are,
What a beautiful virus you are,
Thou art the Alpha Point,
The virus that attacked the first one-celled organism starting the whole process of Darwinian evolution,
And it turns out, thou art the Omega Point as well 
The total sum of Christ Consciousness 
Bringing forth Pachamama’s revenge upon humanity.
Amen.”

When the moving finger of the Black Hand wrote and the eyes of disembodied head Teilhard wept tears of joy, the Jesuit’s mouth cackled in laughter.

Seconds later, a cream pie with Holy Water in it was thrown in his face.

A group of Harvey Wallbanger drinking Moscow policemen swore to their superiors afterwards that a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears had done it.

. . .

Israel’s Health Minister Yaakov Litzman, when recently asked about the Coronavirus in Israel, had replied that Moshiach (the Jewish Messiah) would arrive before Passover this year and save the entire world.

Passover this year begins on Wednesday April 8th.

Meanwhile the ancient Gnostic god Abraxas (who had the head of a rooster, the arms and torso of a man, and whose legs were two slithering serpents) had appeared to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and asked him to grant the recently formed Israeli Sanhedrin permission to sacrifice a paschal lamb at an altar on the Temple Mount on Passover for the first time in 2000 years.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday March 23rd
2020.

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Justin Trudeau Encounters A Mesoamerican Deity In His Pot Smoking Antique Mirror

March 12, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Justin Trudeau Encounters A Mesoamerican Deity In His Pot Smoking Antique Mirror

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had cancelled a First Ministers’ emergency meeting with provincial premiers, territorial leaders and indigenous leaders to discuss the Coronavirus because he himself may have come down with the Coronavirus.

His wife Sophie Gregoire Trudeau had returned from a speaking engagement in London, England last night and had not been feeling well.

She self isolated while awaiting results from a test for Coronavirus.

Justin decided it might be a good example to self-isolate as well.

So he had spent the day re-enacting the Battle of Trafalgar with an armada of rubber ducks in his bathtub.

His wife Sophie had phoned him from the room next door an hour ago and said she had tested positive for the Coronavirus.

“Shit,” Justin thought to himself.

Now he might have to self-isolate a lot longer than he intended.

He walked out to the greenhouse to visit his marijuana inhaling and exhaling antique mirror named Magical Mystery Tour.

He was surprised to see the mirror was reflecting both himself and the greenhouse plants around the mirror instead of the mysterious rare and used book store at the corner of a foreboding dark alley and desolate fog filled street in London, England the way it usually did.

Since he could see his own reflection in the mirror tonight, he decided to put on some blackface since he always felt better wearing blackface for some reason.

A psychiatrist once told him that this feeling was probably due to “penis envy”.

Justin thought that was strange since he thought it was only some women who were prone to penis envy.

The Canadian Prime Minister noticed that the gardener had left the television on just above the coconut tree in the greenhouse.

It showed an old Tarzan movie whereby Tarzan was tied to a tree and an African tribal chief was holding up a 9 inch ruler and pointing at Tarzan and shaking his head and laughing.

“I wonder what message the universe will try to tell me tonight,” Justin thought as he reached for his box of black shoe polish that was hidden underneath the hyacinth plant.

Justin went over and looked at himself in the mirror and started putting the black shoe polish all over his face.

“I now look like Harry Belafonte,” the former drama teacher and amateur thespian grinned at himself in the mirror.

Soon his reflection vanished into the blackness of night emerging from the mirror.

An image of what looked to be a sinister Mesoamerican deity appeared in the mirror as huge whiffs of marijuana smoke came out of the wooden sides of the mirror.

The head of the deity was a sinister looking bluish green skull with a black stripe and a yellow stripe painted across his face.

His right foot was an obsidian mirror.

Although occasionally his right foot would metamorphose into a snake.

When this happened, the obsidian mirror would show up on the deity’s chest instead and sometimes smoke would emanate from the mirror.

Justin entered the antique late Victorian/early Edwardian mirror named Magical Mystery Tour and leaned his painted blackface down to inhale the pot smoke emanating from the obsidian mirror on the deity’s chest.

In the background behind the Mesoamerican deity, the Great Bear constellation shone brightly in the night sky.

In the Great Bear constellation directly behind the deity danced a spotted skin jaguar.

The jaguar sang his own paraphrased version of an old Harry Belafonte song,

“Night-o, night-o, night time come and you oughta go home…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 12th
2020.

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Set, Baphomet, Moloch, The Coronavirus, Ratatoskr and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

March 9, 2020 at 11:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Set, Baphomet, Moloch, The Coronavirus, Ratatoskr and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was asked by his butler and valet Athelstan, “Tell me, sir, back during the world financial crisis of 2008, you went from being a billionaire to being a mere multi-millionaire. It was only Renfield betting all you had on Spain winning the 2010 FIFA World Cup that led to you becoming a billionaire again. Now that the stock markets today have taken their worst hit and plunge since the global economic meltdown of 2008, are you in danger of becoming a mere multi-millionaire again?”.

“Fortunately not, Athelstan,” Set sipped his martini and ate his caviar, “I learned my lesson from 2008. I have a wide reserve of gold that I bought and hid in an abandoned mine somewhere in the British Isles that is guarded by a clone that Dr. Cadbury Rocher made of Hades’ 3 headed dog Cerberus. So I’m ready for whatever downturn happens.”

“I suppose it was fears over the Coronavirus that sparked this panic, sir,” Athelstan handed the ancient Egyptian vampire a bottle of Corona beer with a lemon inside.

“It was,” Set nodded, “That and a row between Saudi Arabia and Russia over the price and supply of oil that sent oil prices into a down spin.”

Set then grabbed a bottle of tequila with a large worm inside the bottle from the tray that Athelstan presented to him.

. . .

The demon Baphomet was having a conversation with the ancient Canaanite god Moloch.

“This Coronavirus is quite delightful,” Baphomet drank a test tube full of the virus, “As a result, I see the Vatican has cancelled all public Masses in Rome and Italy from now until April 3rd.”

The pair were sitting in a totally empty Rome taverna.

“And from what I understand from my sources in the Vatican which are many,” the bull-headed god rubbed his metallic furnace belly, “Pope Francis would like to extend that indefinitely.”

“It was rather nice of George Soros, Hillary Clinton and the Sankt Gallen Mafia to force Benedict XVI to resign and put in Pope Francis for us,” Baphomet ordered an extra fruity strawberry daiquiri with a side of goat’s milk.

“It was,” Moloch nodded as he gratefully took his plate of the Hillary Clinton Secret Topping Pizza from the waiter.

. . .

After a day out campaign stumping for Bernie Sanders at which she told crowds, “He’s da man!”, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was back in her hotel room and opening one of her drawers to take out her vibrator to bring her some much needed relief.

It helped relieve her anxiety.

An intern might be good enough for Bill Clinton but it wasn’t good enough for her.

When she opened the drawer, she got the shock of her life when, instead of her vibrator, a red squirrel with elongated pointed ears jumped out at her.

“I think I’m going squirrelly,” she moaned as her skirt fell to the floor.

“I’m Ratatoskr,” the apparently talking squirrel introduced himself.

“The squirrel in Norse mythology who runs up and down the world tree Yggdrasil to carry messages back and forth between the eagle perched atop Yggdrasil and the serpent Nidhoggr who dwells beneath one of the three roots of the tree?” Alexandria asked as her bra came apart at the back.

“You’ve heard of me?” Ratatoskr grinned as he helped himself to a nut from a small jar labelled Alexandria’s Socialist Nuts.

“My yoga instructor talked about you last week as he came out of a trance after listening to an old LP called the Tibetan Buddhist Monks and Lamas’ Greatest Mind Altering Chants,” Alexandria explained, “What are you doing here?”.

“Well, I’m searching for a new job after the world tree Yggdrasil was cut down this past weekend by a Brazilian logging conglomerate that was given permission by Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro to do so,” Ratatoskr washed down the nut with a bottle of Amazon Rainwater.

“So what do you want with me?” Alexandria inquired.

“Well, I’m here to serve as your new spirit guide,” Ratatoskr grinned, “Your Silva Method instructor sent me. He figured you might need a new one since the leprechaun who had been assigned to you got sodomized by some guy dressed as a rainbow at the recent Queens NY Saint Pat’s For All Parade that was held this past Saint David’s Day. He’s now undergoing treatment for PTSD.”

Meanwhile in an abandoned mine in Cornwall, a Cerberus clone was keeping a close eye on Set’s pots of gold.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 9th
2020.

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The Summoning Forth of The Beelzekraken

February 15, 2020 at 11:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Sorcery, The Occult, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Summoning Forth of The Beelzekraken 

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was being interviewed at a London radio station on the subject of a possible UK Free Trade Agreement with the U.S.

“As long as Donald Trump is the President, we’d just be leaping from the frying pan into the fire if we went ahead with this trade agreement,” Renfield stated, “not of course that we’d be better off if any of the freaks who are currently front runners for the U.S. Democratic Party nomination became President either.”

Renfield finally finished the interview with the following statement about Donald Trump, “What can we say about the man who was (Joe McCarthy’s chief legal counsel and later Mafioso mobster defending lawyer) Roy Cohn’s personal bitch and boy toy back in the 1970s? Whose mentor-protege relationship consisted of Cohn breaking Trump in (via the rear end) and showing him the ropes (in a gay BDSM sense of that expression).”

Within seconds, a very irate and profanity laced phone call was made from the White House to the Pentagon.

As Renfield left the radio station and walked down the street, he was followed by a Trotskyite anarchist agitator who was very upset by a speech that Renfield had delivered to the Canada Club in London last night.

The British MP happened to notice a £5 note lying on the ground.

As he bent over to pick it up, a drone bearing the inscription IN TRUMP WE TRUST flew right over his head.

The drone blew the Trotskyite anarchist agitator (who was walking just behind Renfield) to kingdom come.

. . .

An ugly looking female freak with pink and purple hair (that made her look even uglier) really pissed genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee off.

So he beheaded the ugly looking freak and then cut her up into 999 trillion x 999 trillion (rather than his usual just 999 trillion) pieces.

The rats recently released from a showing of the 1971 American horror film Willard could not bring themselves to eat the minuscule pieces of the revolting facially aesthetically challenged crime against humanity.

Neither could the 3 blind mice who flew a drone called Albatross 2.0

After an emergency council of all the gods and goddesses, Shiva the Destroyer arrived with his trident of destruction to totally melt and disintegrate the pieces into total non-existence so that the hideous particles would not exist in any of the multiverses.

Shiva then returned to the CERN Large Hadron Collider tunnel in Switzerland where he was being taught the Irish river dance by Irish dancer Michael Flatley.

. . .

From Lake Michigan on the shoreline of Chicago a Kraken emerged.

But this was no ordinary Kraken.

For while it had the body, tentacles and arms of an Octopus, its head was that of a giant fly.

The name of the creature was the Beelzekraken – a combination of Beelzebub (The Lord of the Flies) and a Kraken.

The unwashed ANTIFA member on the beach (who was already angry about being hit by waves from the lake) dirtied his already dirty jockstrap upon seeing the Beelzekraken.

He very much regretted having used the POSSIBLY ENGLISH LANGUAGE HIP HOP EDITION OF THE NECRONOMICON to summon the creature.

Even more so after the Beelzekraken swallowed and ate him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 15th
2020.

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