Hitler’s Nazi Gestapo Are Alive and Well and Living In Police In The Canadian Province of Alberta

April 7, 2021 at 10:07 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Health, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God.”
-The Fathers of the American Revolution.

“It is morally imperative upon people across the globe today to remember the words of the Fathers of the American Revolution.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a rare Wednesday evening podcast.

And that was because of the developing political situation on the ground in the Canadian province of Alberta.

Sipping from a bottle of Alberta Crystal Clear Pure Vodka, Renfield said,

“The Antichrist RCMP in the Canadian province of Alberta have shown themselves to be the wholehearted ardent disciples of the emerging Antichrist New World Order by raiding Grace Life Church an Evangelical Protestant Church east of Edmonton the provincial capital and erecting steel barriers around it to prevent the people and pastors from entering.
As a Calgary Polish Church pastor well said of Calgary Police who were trying to close his Church this past Easter weekend, “Gestapo! Nazis! Get out!”.
For police in today’s Canadian province of Alberta are little better than the Nazi Gestapo of Hitler’s Third Reich.”

RCMP at the RCMP police station in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada were given a standing ovation by the demons Baal and Mephistopheles as they returned to the station after setting up steel barriers around Grace Life Church on the orders of AHS (Alberta Health Services which was today little more than a provincial branch of the Nazi Fascist Neo-Bolshevik Communist Hybrid New World Order known as the Great Reset and praised by the likes of Pope Francis, Justin Trudeau and Joe Biden).
Hordes of infernal demons sang of the heroic Gestapo like RCMP who returned like the conquering heroes of Norse battlefields to the halls of Valhalla, “For they’re the jolly good fellows, for they’re the jolly good fellows which nobody can deny, which nobody can deny…”

“I deny it,” said Renfield continuing his broadcast, “and backing up the Nazi Gestapo like raid on Grace Life Church by the RCMP was Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro. Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro is a Nazi Fascist pig who should be eliminated from the face of the earth. And I say that with all due respect.”

Tyler Shandro had returned home after a hard day of trying to build the global Fourth Reich down at the office.

He was surprised to see the ghost of Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels sitting in an arm chair in his living room offering him a warm cup of Meteorite Alien Insect Pods Greyish Green Tea.

Goebbels’ ghost had been recently released from the Underworld by Hades (Greek god of the Underworld) at the request of the Great Reset globalist oligarchical backers- men like George Soros and Bill Gates and Xi Jinping’s Supernatural entity advisor the Black Dragon.

“I’ve never heard of this brand of tea before,” Shandro looked at the label on the teapot, “Meteorite Alien Insect Pods Greyish Green Tea.”

“It was prophetically foreseen on a Halloween Night episode of the CBC program Murdoch Mysteries a few years back,” Goebbels’ ghost commented as he sipped on a spectral ghostly variant of the tea (which went into the making of the various new variants of Covid-19 made in various labs and released in various places across the planet the past few months), “it turned people who drank it into aliens. On that episode of Murdoch Mysteries, people down at Police Station House No. 4 drank it and became aliens and it soon spread across the entire city of Toronto. People became aliens and ceased being human. Constable George Crabtree was the last resister at Police Station House No. 4 and even he succumbed. And soon all were aliens.”

“So Torontonians became non-human aliens and now you want Albertans to become the same starting with me?” Tyler Shandro inquired.

“Exactly,” Goebbels’ ghost grinned, “You already were one of the biggest twits in Fascist fat slob Premier Jason Kenney’s cabinet (which is saying a lot) and so you were pretty well on your way there to becoming a non-human alien anyways. This will just finally tip you over the edge.”

“Okay,” Shandro drank the tea and a female zombie nosferatu entered the room and bit him on the lips and sucked the life out of him filling his body with unhatched alien insect pods from meteorites.

Norse goddess Freya appearing as a guest on Renfield R. Renfield’s podcast: Advises people to beware of zombie nosferatu and of drinking Meteorite Alien Insect Pods Greyish Green Tea

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 7th
2021.

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Cleopatra, Maitreya and Yaldabaoth On Saint Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, magic, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It was Saint Patrick’s Day 2021.

And Yaldabaoth was on a bridge overlooking the River Liffey in Dublin, Ireland.

The night before he had been in a psychiatrist’s office at Saint Raphael’s Hospital in London.

The session was to help him overcome his drinking problem.

But judging from the amount of Guinness he had drunk on this Saint Patrick’s Day Evening in Dublin, it was obviously going to take more than one session.

“Yaldabaoth,” the man named Peter Whitstable (whose unofficial title was the Fox Mulder of Interpol) greeted him.

“What are you doing here in Dublin?” Yaldabaoth asked, “Do you have some more cloak and dagger work for me to do?”.

The leprechaun put on a green cloak and then pulled a green jade dagger out of one of his green socks and put it in his green belt.

“As you know the past dozen years, the Irish government has become increasingly made up of Apostles of the Antichrist,” Whitstable noted.

“I imagine Saint Paddy is not too pleased with that,” Yaldabaoth drank his Guinness, “Is Harvey Tallbanger the invisible (to mortals) bunny rabbit here to throw green algae cream pies in their faces?”.

“Most likely yes to your first statement and I don’t know to your second,” Whitstable answered, “I do know most leading members of the Irish government have taken an oath of allegiance to a hidden and secret High King of Ireland.”

“And who is this hidden and secret High King of Ireland?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Maitreya a golden cobra serpent supernatural entity from the Himalayan region of Tibet and Nepal,” Whitstable replied.

“Oh yes, he did have himself crowned High King of Ireland at the Hill of Tara back on Saint Patrick’s Day in 2018,” Yaldabaoth wiped his runny nose with a green handkerchief, “I believe he had crowned Queen Cleopatra VII Philopator of Egypt (whom he had resurrected from the dead) his High Queen as well.

“Exactly,” Whitstable nodded, “Cleopatra is currently staying at a hotel here in Dublin.”

“What hotel?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“This one,” Whitstable handed the leprechaun a card with the hotel address on it, “I want you to get her photograph for my Interpol files. We do not have a photo of the living Cleopatra.”

“Seeing as how she’s been dead since the 1st Century BC and was only resurrected 4 years ago, I can see why,” Yaldabaoth nodded, “I imagine Saint Paddy is probably ticked that not only has a serpent returned to Ireland (he having driven the serpents out of Ireland) but is further ticked that a serpent has crowned himself High King of Ireland.”

“I would imagine,” Whitstable agreed.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, U.S. President Joe Beijing O’ Biden asked one of his aides why one of the White House fountains was green.

“You ordered it dyed green for Saint Patrick’s Day,” his aide answered.

“I did?” Biden scratched his head, “Is it Saint Patrick’s Day?”.

The aide nodded.

“Then why is my desk cactus dressed as Santa Claus, why is my dog dressed like the Easter Bunny and why is Hunter dressed like a crack pipe smoking Great Pumpkin?” Biden inquired.

Meanwhile back in Dublin, Ireland, Yaldabaoth entered the hotel room where Cleopatra was staying.

He carried in his hands a black and white film camera that had once belonged to film director Orson Welles when he was alive.

Yaldabaoth entered Cleopatra’s bedroom and snapped a photo.

Cleopatra the former Queen of Egypt and current High Queen of Ireland

After snapping the photo, Yaldabaoth gasped, “My God, that’s a killer outfit you’re wearing.”

He then fell over dead.

“Jesus,” an Irish Jesuit priest, who was recently defrocked by his superior for being straight and heterosexual, remarked as he walked by the open door in the hallway.

“Oh, the void, the void,” a spider, who had recently come in contact with radioactive material in a science lab, remarked as he crawled by.

“This looks like a job for Dr. Marmalade Montague and his Hendrick’s Gin Dunking Machine,” Harvey Tallbanger commented as he walked by and noticed Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun lying dead at Cleopatra’s spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes feet.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 17th
2021.

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Harvey Tallbanger Takes On Europe’s Totalitarian Despots

February 26, 2021 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“U.S. President Joe Beijing O’ Biden has ordered his first military airstrike on Syria which was carried out earlier today.
For all those lib-leftists out there who thought Joe Biden wasn’t going to be a warmonger (or thought he wouldn’t detain immigrant children in detention camps), they were of course invariably wrong as anyone with common sense could have easily told them.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP

“Liberalism is the modern and morbid habit of always sacrificing the normal to the abnormal.”
-G.K. Chesterton

“The New Normal that most politicians, technocrats and Satan worshipping billionaires and bishops are always yapping about for the post-pandemic world is actually the Old Abnormal.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP

British MP Renfield R. Renfield, Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague and Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster were at Set Enterprises laboratories in London flipping through various news channels on the TV.

The first news segment showed German Chancellor Angela Merkel saying that there was unanimous agreement within the European Union on implementing a coronavirus vaccine passport.

Ms. Merkel announced that “everyone agreed that we need a digital vaccination certificate” and that such a system could be implemented by summer.

As Ms. Merkel spoke, an Adolf Hitler style moustache appeared just below her nose and just above her lips.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared on her forehead written in red and black ink.

Seconds later a cream pie was thrown in her face.

The second news segment came on.

European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen announced that EU member states will “have to act fast” in order to implement a digital vaccine certification program as soon as the summer.

The certificate will facilitate travel as well as the ability to attend churches, synagogues, theatres, concert halls or even to go to the gym.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared on Ms. von der Leyen’s forehead written in red ink.

Seconds later, a cream pie was thrown in her face.

Greece’s Deputy Prime Minister Akis Skertsos then appeared on the TV screen and said that a vaccine passport verification system “is not discriminatory at all”.

The words I AM THE BIGGEST OF SATAN’S USEFUL IDIOTS then appeared written in Greek in green felt ink on his forehead.

Seconds later a souvlaki cream pie was thrown in his face.

British Education Secretary Gavin Williamson then appeared on the TV screen saying that he backed up the plan to carry passports to enter restaurants, cinemas and theatres.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared in red ink written on his forehead.

Seconds later a cream pie containing a school report card loaded with F’s for each subject was then thrown in his face.

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson then appeared on the TV screen.

Hanging from one of his long scraggly locks of hair over his right ear was a thorougly eaten fried chicken drum stick (from a rooster who was sacrificed in a live Santeria animal sacrifice).

Johnson said that Brits might definitely require health passports for simple domestic visits like going to the pub or theatre.

Johnson, who had the sign KICK ME posted on his backside by the ghost of Winston Churchill, then went on, “I know fervent libertarians will object but other people will think that there is a case for it.”

The ghosts of Adolf Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and the two deceased members of the North Korean Kim Communist hereditary dynasty appeared behind Johnson smiling and applauding vigourously.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST AND MY HAIRSTYLIST RESIDES IN HELL appeared written in black ink on Boris Johnson’s forehead.

Seconds later a banana cream steak and kidney pie containing hair gel and a comb were then thrown in Johnson’s face.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 26th
2021

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The Demon Buffalo Headed Metal Rat In Washington DC

January 27, 2021 at 11:34 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was out shoveling the sidewalks in front of the house where he rented a room because it had snowed overnight.

“Just wait until I get my hands on those bloody frost giants of the old Norse pantheon,” Pan Goatee seethed, “They won’t live to fight the Battle of Ragnarok.”

The satyr pushed some more snow away.

“Just wait until I get my hands on Loki the Norse trickster god,” Goatee vowed, “He won’t live to fight the Battle of Ragnarok.”

Just then to Pan Goatee’s horror, a repulsively ugly fat ugly blimp came walking down the sidewalk.

She was walking down the sidewalk walking her dog.

“Bloody Hell,” Goatee noted, “That’s all I need to ruin my day is having to look at some fat ugly blimp. A two-legged dog (who are all ugly) out walking her four legged dog (who are generally cute).”

“Well, it would look pretty stupid the other way around,” Mr. Ed the Talking Horse remarked as he clomped by dragging an old milk wagon behind him, “If it was a four legged dog out walking a two legged dog.”

Mr. Ed stopped in front of a house down the street as Norman Newman the mailman turned milkman reached for a couple of jugs of fresh milk.

“Shit, the milk has frozen!” Norman Newman the mailman turned milkman called out.

“Well, I told you not to deliver milk in a milk wagon in the middle of a snowstorm,” Mr. Ed the Talking Horse pointed out as he smoked his Cuban cigar, “But did you listen? NO! What do I know you probably figured? I’m just a horse! Even though I won first prize in a Latin poetry writing competition a couple of years ago. Beating out 2018 humans I might add.”

Meanwhile Pan Goatee had by this time beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“And not only are you fat and ugly,” Goatee gave his aesthetic adjudication, “but you’re guilty of cruelty to animals as well. How do you think this poor dog feels having to walk around the neighbourhood with a fat ugly blimp such as yourself?”.

Indeed the dog was already running down the street enjoying his new found glorious freedom.

Krampus the goat demon hybrid arrived on the scene to gather up the 999 trillion pieces of the fat ugly blimp, put them in his sack and carry them down to Hades.

After crossing the River Styx, Cerberus the 3-headed dog peed and crapped all over the fat ugly blimp’s remains when he heard about her gargantuan cruelty to animals.

Meanwhile Loki the Norse trickster god made the mistake of walking by Pan Goatee.

Loki immediately found himself being beheaded by Pan Goatee’s laser astral machete.

“I hate it when that happens,” Loki’s head remarked as it rolled down the street.

. . .

“I see priests in the Catholic Archdiocese of Washington DC are lining up to hear Hunter Biden’s confession,” Amadeus Emanon remarked as he ate a bagel, “I wonder why they’re lining up to hear Hunter Biden’s confession?”.

“Beelzebub knows,” Uncle Ernie remarked as he fed a spoonful of crack cocaine to an Australian house fly, “Several Catholic priests in this diocese are trying to talk me into converting from Ashkenazi Judaism to Roman Catholicism for some reason.”

“That’s strange,” Amadeus admitted.

“It is,” Uncle Ernie nodded, “It probably means I’ll have to reglue my foreskin to my Jolly Roger if I want to covert from Ashkenazi Judaism to Roman Catholicism.”

Uncle Ernie held up the small glass bottle that had once been used to store a plastic contact lens but which was now home to Uncle Ernie’s foreskin which had been separated on and off from Uncle Ernie’s Jolly Roger all these many years.

“I wonder if that’s what the Canadian folk music band Captain Tractor meant by their song lyrics… When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores?,” Amadeus mused aloud.

“I don’t remember Regina,” Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie reflected on his past trips to Canada and Saskatchewan in particular, “I do remember I got my Jolly Roger caught in Moose Jaw down in the Al Capone Prohibition Booze era tunnels.”

. . .

“As we all know, Donald Trump incited an erection.”
-New York Sen. Chuck Schumer
coming out of the closet
on the U.S. Senate floor

. . .

A Demon Buffalo Headed Metal Rat was walking the streets of Washington DC.

The metal rat built by Havana Cuba based sanity challenged scientist Dr. Ja Oui Khan for Huawei Technologies of China had the skull of a demon buffalo put on its head by the Norse trickster god Loki prior to South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo restoring the skull to life turning it into a full fledged Demon Buffalo Head.

Ironically enough, Loki’s head was now missing from his body.

The Demon Buffalo Headed Metal Rat had been given the ability to detect and analyze thoughts.

It could tell those people who thought like Communists from those who didn’t think like Communists.

Those people who didn’t think like Communists the Demon Buffalo Headed Metal Rat gored to death with his demon buffalo horns.

The CEOs of Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Google as well as the CEO of United Airlines were all safe from death at the horns of the Demon Buffalo Headed Metal Rat.

As were all the editors and reporters at the Washington Post, New York Times, CNN, MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, BBC, Global News Canada and Fox News.

To say nothing of the entire Democratic Congressional and Senate caucuses and 2/3 of the Republican Congressional and Senate caucuses.

As well as all the members of the Biden-Harris Administration.

“I failed, I failed,” the ghost of Sen. Joe McCarthy sobbed as he walked down the streets of Washington DC.

“Wow, that really blows my mind,” Hunter Biden commented as he sat at the gates of the White House smoking a pipe of crack cocaine.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 27th
2021

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Pan Goatee Beheads Again and Mordred Returns

January 20, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee figured that with Joe Biden’s Inauguration today, there would be lots of satanic activity and examples of incredibly bad taste going on.

And not just among the airheaded American film and music industry celebrities gathered in Washington DC or in some online based virtual reality of Mephistophelian making.

But in his little corner of the world as well.

Sadly for Goatee, this proved to be true.

Following Biden’s appointment of the hideously repulsively ugly Rachel Levine as Assistant Secretary of Health (foreshadowing a disaster for the American health care system of Stephen King Cujoian proportions), Goatee figured that fat ugly blimps would be coming out of the closet en masse.

More so than usual that is.

As fat ugly blimps had been coming out of the closet en masse ever since the advent of feminism in the Western world 50 years ago.

And had been growing worse with each passing decade.

Now with the senile old fool Joe Biden as President, fat ugly blimps would be trying to fit into their size 1500 waist waste trousers (with exceedingly great difficulty) and exiting the closet (each closet being about the size of the San Diego Zoo).

When Goatee approached the neighbourhood liquor store, he was shocked to see a fat ugly blimp inside the liquor store.

After barfing all over the place causing a minature flood in the shopping centre parking lot as a result of seeing the fat ugly blimp, Goatee then removed his astral laser machete from his astral laser holster and beheaded the fat ugly blimp before cutting her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee wondered as he calmly wiped the blood off his machete if he had some sort of obsession with the number 999 trillion in the same way that the Serbian/American scientist/inventor Nikola Tesla had an obsession with the number 3.

Not feeling inclined to enter the liquor store after its environment had been aesthetically polluted by the presence of the fat ugly blimp, Goatee went into the grocery store where he was confronted by the sight of an even more hideously repulsive fat ugly blimp.

Goatee stuck his head out the door and barfed all over the parking lot again.

Adding flood upon flood.

So much so that a person living in a house across the street started building himself an ark.

Goatee then turned back and cut off the fat ugly blimp’s head remarking, “Why can’t you fat ugly blimps just email Joe Biden your resumes instead of handing out your mirror shattering resumes in public?”.

He then cut the fat ugly blimp up into 999 trillion pieces.

After wiping the blood off his laser astral machete for the 2nd time within a space of 5 minutes, Goatee thought maybe he really did have an obsession with the number 999 trillion.

He should ask his psychiatrist the next time he saw him.

. . .

Inside the Duke of Tintagel Pub in Cornwall England, a man recently raised from the dead stood at the bar waiting to place his drink order.

The man was Mordred son of Arthur and Arthur’s half-sister Morgause (although Arthur did not know that Morgause was his half-sister when he banged her).

Mordred was also the man who slew King Arthur at the Battle of Camlann.

Although Mordred also succumbed to his own wounds at the hand of Excalibur and kicked the bucket shortly thereafter.

“Damn inconsiderate of him,” one of the horses at the Battle of Camlann thought to himself after Mordred knocked over a bucket of water with his left foot while giving up the ghost.

Mordred had been buried in an unmarked grave not far from the battle while Arthur’s body was carried across in a barge filled with beautiful women over to the Isle of Avalon.

Mordred’s body, although buried in an unmarked grave, was discovered through remote viewing after yet another DARPA Staring At Goats session.

The Director of U.S. Homeland Security had ordered that Mordred be brought back from the dead as this would fit in with the purposes of the Neo-Bolshevik Deep State.

So South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo was brought in to raise Mordred the slayer of Arthur from the dead.

When Mordred was successfully brought back from the dead and sucessfully recomposed (after having been successfully decomposing for centuries), Dr. Sterling Makabo remarked to the Homeland Security agents and DARPA operatives present, “I’m a lot funnier than that pompous verbose windbag Trevor Noah. So why can’t I have my own late night comedy show?”.

He poured some hydrogen peroxide on his hands to get rid of the worms of death that had attached themselves to Mordred’s skeleton.

“Should Trevor Noah ever die of massive boredom after being forced to watch re-runs of his alleged comedy show, we’ll let the show’s producers know that you should be kept in mind,” the Homeland Security agent remarked as DARPA operative Jefferey the otter (who had been busy catching fish in the nearby mist-filled lake of Avalon) joined him.

Now Jefferey the otter was sitting on top of a table in the Duke of Tintagel Pub drinking barrels of Green Minnow Beer as he blissfully barked out the melody of Roll Out The Barrel.

The recently raised from the dead Mordred was having a little less luck getting a drink standing up at the bar.

“Please,” Mordred cried out as a falcon possessed by the spirit of the Egyptian god Horus perched atop his shoulder, “I need a drink. I haven’t had a drink in ages.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 20th
2021.

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Christoph Cardinal Schonborn of Vienna Publicly Outs Himself As An Apostle of The Antichrist

January 15, 2021 at 11:19 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon was reading the Facebook status comment of a geopolitical analyst friend of British MP Renfield R. Renfield:

“The pro-sodomite, pro-gay sexy orgy, pro-allowing filthy drag queen shows to be performed at the High Altar of Saint Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna Cardinal Archbishop of Vienna Christoph Schonborn is an Apostle of the Antichrist.
And judging from remarks he made today on the U.S. election and the Capitol Hill siege in Washington DC (which the satanic Neo-Bolshevik Left in America is going to use to abolish civil liberties in America (when Biden is sworn in) in the same way the Nazis used the German Reichstag fire of February 27th 1933 to abolish civil liberties in Germany) Schonborn is also a Marxist-Leninist Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Communist as well.
Christoph Schonborn is of his father, the Father of Lies, the Devil.
Unless he repents and turns to Christ and His Holy Mother, he shall burn forever in the outer darkness of the flames of the Lake of Fire where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

“I wonder why I was never invited to perform Cumelita at the High Altar of Saint Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna,” Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie wondered aloud as he scratched his chin and scratched other parts of his anatomy after Amadeus had finished reading aloud the Facebook status.

“Perhaps Cardinal Schonborn didn’t want to get a head start on being plunged head first into the Lake of Fire,” Amadeus suggested.

“What did you mean by that?” A perplexed Uncle Ernie asked Amadeus.

The aging and well past his prime drag queen then turned his attention to the kitchen and screamed, “Where the Hell did all those flames come from?”.

“Uncle Ernie!” His adopted niece by marriage exclaimed, “You should never have left your Driver’s License lying around in front of those koala bears you taught how to read. They made you a birthday cake and lit all the candles of your exact age on it.”

“Help!” Help! Fire! Fire!” Uncle Ernie’s adopted nephew by merciful adoption rather than biology opened the front door and went running into the street.

The local fire department soon beat a red path to the kitchen door.

. . .

Xi Jinping’s supernatural spirit entity advisor the Black Dragon was having a meeting with the fallen angel Mephistopheles and his incredibly dim witted protege Joe Biden.

“Comrade Mephisto,” the Black Dragon read aloud from a list of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) demands, “The Party would like to know if you would allow the Red State to be able to harvest the organs of Donald Trump supporters since you’ll have no use for them in the New Soviet state.”

“Joe, what do you think?” Mephistopheles turned to the President-elect who was busy sniffing the hair of the young woman sitting next to him.

“Hell, why not?” Joe grinned, “I can sign an Executive Order to that effect”

. . .

Meanwhile a beautiful young woman suddenly woke up in a small town in Kansas:


“I have seen the Future. And it doesn’t work.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 15th
2020.

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The New Wicked Witch of The West

January 13, 2021 at 11:21 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Cackling hysterically and looking every inch the green faced looking Margaret Hamilton Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz film (a slight allergic reaction to the DeathVaxx vaccine that WHO health officials assured her would go away), Nancy Pelosi flew in on her broomstick to Congress to oversee House impeachment hearings against President Donald Trump.

“Nancy, I had no idea you flew a broom to work,” New York Sen. Chuck Schumer remarked as he exited his limousine with six very kosher looking Playboy bunnies and an appearance that suggested not much social distancing had gone on in that limo.

“Of course I do, you ninny,” Pelosi padlocked her broomstick to an ABSOLUTELY NO PARKING sign, “I’m a witch.”

“I didn’t know that,” Schumer commented as he pulled up his zipper, “Life is full of surprises but thanks to the Dominion voting machines, elections will no longer be.”

The six kosher looking Playboy bunnies headed off in search of a kosher deli where they could buy themselves jars of large pickles as all six women were tired of looking at the infinitesimally small and tiny pickle they had been forced to endure throughout the entire morning commute.

“Six kosher Playboy bunnies 3 times a week,” Schumer smiled, “That adds up to 666 you know.”

Schumer’s reasoning might amount to some arcane form of kabbalistic gematria because in terms of pure ordinary mathematics, the numbers just didn’t add up.

But maybe with a little help from Dominion voting machines, they did.

Pelosi went to her office, then her closet (where she had safely locked away her idol statue of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft to protect it during last week’s staged Capitol Hill siege something alas she had forgotten to do with her laptop), took out the Hecate idol and placed it in an alcove in her office.

She then turned the lights out and lit candles in front of the Hecate idol (who was depicted in her crone hag form as that was the one that most perfectly resembled Pelosi’s own self) and paid obeisance to it.

After reading the latest piece of Marxist sodomite drivel to come from the lips of Jorge Mario Bergoglio (known to the world as Pope Francis), she then made the Upside Down Sign of The Cross and headed off to the House chambers to begin the proceedings on impeaching Donald Trump for a 2nd time.

. . .

As nighttime settled over Washington DC, the vampire Lev Tomi (whom the fallen angel Mephistopheles possessed Joe Biden had named to his staff of Chiefs of Armed Services) supervised the U.S. National Guard who were preparing for the Biden inauguration this coming January 20th.

During his mortal life, the vampire Lev Tomi had been the Russian Bolshevik Leon Trotsky.

. . .

Meanwhile in Rome Italy, the Italian national government under Communist Giuseppe Conte was in danger of collapse.

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was in Rome because he had received reports that the actual Greek god Poseidon was cavorting and splashing around in the famous Fountain of Trevi claiming that he had found more than 3 coins.

As Whitstable walked the streets of Rome, he was surprised to see a giant elk wandering the streets of Rome.

A giant elk that cast a giant shadow in the light and even more mysteriously a giant shadow in the dark.

“In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie,” went through Whitstable’s mind.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 13th
2020.

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Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI To Receive Forced Vaccination

January 12, 2021 at 10:35 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

“The best argument against taking the vaccine is the fact that the Communist “Pope” Francis says everyone should take it.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP

As another part of the ongoing tyranny descending upon the world in the form of a dark lifeless mist ever since the spiritual/political virus known as Covid Communism descended upon the world in the wake of Xi Jinping’s Chinese Communist Party releasing a bioengineered weapon from the Wuhan Institute of Virology (whether intentional or accidental), the tyranny now extended to Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI who did not wish to receive the vaccine but the Vatican decided he’d be given a mandatory vaccine against his will.

The news reached the attention of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

He discussed it with Athelstan the personal butler and valet to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

“I’m now formulating a plan with my field operatives in my personal British Army brigade of gurkhas to break into the Vatican and rescue Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI before he’s given the DeathVaxx as Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher calls it,” Renfield explained.

“Break into the Vatican?” Athelstan raised an eyebrow, “But isn’t that place well guarded?”.

“It is,” Renfield nodded, “But you must remember that this will be a whole brigade of gurkhas attacking them. There aren’t too many guards on Earth who can hold out against an entire brigade of gurkhas. The only thing is that there may be demons guarding the Vatican according to the latest Set Enterprises Intelligence report. Still if there is any mortal warrior on Earth capable of kicking a demon’s ass, it would be a gurkha.”

“Good luck with that, sir,” Athelstan remarked as he went off to prepare a tray of tea and crumpets for Set.

Meanwhile in the woods outside the vampiress Lilith’s palatial estate near Astana, Kazakhstan:

Golgotha daughter of the vampiress Lilith with her pet raven Ancient Mariner’s Albatross on her shoulder

“Listen, Alby,” she called him by her pet name for him, “Listen to the silence but soon the world will be crawling with zombie nosferatu.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 12th
2020.

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Lilith In The Graveyard Garden of Good and Evil

January 3, 2021 at 11:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in the graveyard garden of good and evil

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing another one of his Sunday night podcasts:

“Just an important historical note of interest, which if shown to be correct, will be noted by future historians.
Here’s the gist:
A final political showdown is coming January 6th as the U.S. Congress meets to elect CCP stooge Joe Biden as President.
The 1st American Civil War began on April 12th 1861 just 13 days after the previous Easter Sunday (March 31st 1861).
Will the 2nd American Civil War begin on January 7th 2021 just 13 days after the previous Christmas Day?
History has a strange way of balancing itself out in such occurrences.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP

. . .

The body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was rushed from Dublin Ireland to London England by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airship the High Calypso.

It was assumed that the cause of Yaldabaoth’s death was the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka wearing a killer outfit.

However after an operation carried out by a surgical suit wearing Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster wearing a surgical mask and using his surgical gloved lobster claws to perform an incision, it was determined that the cause of death was Yaldabaoth’s eating poisoned lutefisk.

After a quick check of the Irish High King Brian Boru’s Medieval Treatise On Leprechaun Ailments (a copy of which was found in the billionaire vampire Set’s library and rare book collection), apparently eating poisoned lutefisk was one of the few things that could kill a usually immortal leprechaun.

After visualizing London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes wearing a killer outfit (which caused his lobster tank to explode), Michelangelo went into a trance and saw the circumstances which led to Yaldabaoth’s death.

Apparently after visiting the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland, Yaldabaoth had gone to Rome to see the Vatican’s ugly looking Nativity display (which was put up to welcome the arrival of an alien ET saviour who graduated with a degree in New York School of Art Abstract Surrealist and Neo-Modernist Studies).

After barfing all over the Vatican Nativity display, Yaldabaoth then wandered the halls of the Vatican.

At first he thought he had entered a gay bath house but after viewing classical and Renaissance works of art in the halls and on the walls, the wee leprechaun deduced that he was indeed inside the Vatican.

Yaldabaoth went into a room where some Vatican Cardinals had prepared a New Year’s Day feast for their fellow cardinal Robert Cardinal Sarah of Guinea the prefect of the Vatican Congregation For Divine Worship and The Discipline of the Sacraments.

The feast, which consisted of large portions of poisoned Norwegian lutefisk, had been made by a group of atheistic Marxist Cardinals hoping to bump off Cardinal Robert Sarah who was a devout Catholic Christian.

Yaldabaoth, who was starting to feel hungry after having previously barfed all over the Vatican’s Nativity display, then proceeded to eat up all the poisoned lutefisk.

And in so doing saved Robert Cardinal Sarah’s life.

. . .


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith next to Edgar Allan Poe’s grave in the cemetery of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Baltimore Maryland

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was kneeling in the cemetery of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Baltimore, Maryland.

She was kneeling in front of Edgar Allan Poe’s grave.

A group of mischievous Irish leprecauns living in Baltimore had put up Irish Celtic crosses atop Poe’s grave and graves next to it that would have caused the Ulster Irish Presbyterian pastor Rev. Ian Paisley of Belfast Northern Ireland to pull his hair out if he had still been alive and seen it.

It was a moonlit night in Baltimore, as billionaire Elon Musk who had just built himself an artificial moon and was giving a full moon trial test run over Baltimore on this lovely windswept evening, and so the moonlight shone down on top of Lilith in front of Poe’s burial place.

The artificial full moonlight of Elon Musk’s artificial moon was causing mysterious looking red roses to grow all over the cemetery.

A raven flew down atop Poe’s gravemarker and croaked “Nevermore”.

Indeed it would be the last time the Raven would croak Nevermore for he croaked shortly thereafter.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 3rd
2021.

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Renfield’s EU Vote, The Vaccine Recipient and Social Media CEOs Perform Satanic Child Sacrifice

December 30, 2020 at 11:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was in the House of Commons to vote on the EU-Britain Brexit Trade Bill.

A few security guards objected to his not wearing a mask so he shot them.

Back in 2017, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II had granted Renfield one of those rare licenses to kill (like James Bond 007 had) after he saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.

Thus people, after Renfield had killed his 7th security guard of the day, started getting out of his way as he approached.

Renfield publicly announced he was abstaining on the vote as he hadn’t had time to read the massive multi-page document to see if it was good for the British people.

“This might have been a last minute Christmas Eve turkey that 10 Downing Street was hoping to hoist on the British people,” Renfield pointed out, “to match the massive turkey egg that Johnson had earlier laid on the British public when he decided to cancel Christmas.”

Renfield then said that as Prime Minister of a majority government, Johnson seemed to be acting less of the Classics major at Oxford that he claimed to be and more like a Sociology major at Berkeley.

Johnson shouted that he had never been so insulted in all his life to which Renfield replied that he should get out more often.

. . .

Harold’s wife Carolyn was an NHS worker.

As a front line worker, she had just last night received the vaccine for the Coronavirus.

Harold had heard a row late last night and when he opened the door, he discovered that it was his wife kicking cats and dogs down the street.

She poured his casserole down the garburator and proceeded to eat all the house plants including the cactus, the prize winning orchids and his mother’s favourite chrysanthemums.

And the biggest ambidextra in the world was no longer so big after she had belched down the last leaf.

Harold chose to sleep on the couch when he went to the bedroom and noticed that when she took her clothes off, she had grown several more arms and legs.

As Harold prayed for the arrival of Pan Goatee to bring deliverance, he was kept awake by the sound of brontosaurus mating calls and T-rex roars after being stabbed by a triceratops horn that came from the bedroom.

When his wife opened the door, she looked like a baby brontosaurus with a t-rex head with a triceratops horn growing out of her forehead.

The children arrived from staying at Grandma’s at that moment and Carolyn ripped off their heads, arms and legs prior to eating them.

Renfield’s radio broadcast came on the radio at that moment saying that a little publicized WHO directive was telling people not to be alarmed by the number of deaths that will be caused by receiving the vaccine.

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his aquarium at Set Enterprises where he was having a vision of the social media tech giant CEOs meeting on a private island to perform satanic child sacrifices.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, Google CEO Sundar Pichai and Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey were all wearing dark robes and carrying long daggers.

Their lips and mouths were stained with blood after hours of feasting on the parts of dead babies sacrificed to Moloch.

On the large drive-in movie theatre screen in front of them, they received greetings from Joe Biden, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, New York Sen. Chuck Schumer, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam and California Gov. Gavin Newsom who all wished they were there.

They likewise received a video message from Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping who also wished that he could be there but he was currently paying a courtesy visit to the Sexually Transmitted Diseases Clinic in Beijing.

Dr.Anthony Fauci likewise sent his greetings and said he agreed with the PLA’s Biological Warfare Commander’s statement that the Novel Coronavirus was not a synthetic virus created by uniting genetic sequences from the SARS-2 virus and the HIV virus forming a recurring chimera hybrid virus that the world will never be able to get rid of.

And the world’s choice was now everyone could die in a global prison.

Or they could live freely until the last person on earth finally keeled over from the virus.

Most people who would soon be idiotically greeting one another with wishes of Happy New Year were totally oblivious to the choice they could now make.

Instead the world’s self-proclaimed elite would decide it for them (everyone in the global prison with promises of a return to normal soon) as they gathered in homage to Lucifer/Satan the being who said he was from another planet and would be taking them the self-proclaimed elite there shortly.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 30th
2020.

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