Pan Goatee Slays Uglos To Mark Ring of Fire Solar Eclipse

June 21, 2020 at 10:32 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

“Beautiful women are proof that Heaven exists.”

-Actor Ricardo Montalban

“And ugly women are proof that Hell exists.”

-Satyr global aesthetics and beautification campaigner Pan Goatee

Pan Goatee was very much regretting the fact that today’s Ring of Fire solar eclipse was over Asia and parts of Africa rather than over the western half of North America.

For it would have been better today if darkness fell over western North America on the 1st day of the summer solstice.

The reason being that loads of ugly women in the city where Pan Goatee lived decided to ruin the first day of summer for everyone by walking around in public without wearing paper bags over their heads.

The first ugly woman that the genetically created satyr serial killer noticed was one walking out of a physiotherapy clinic at a nearby shopping centre.

“You don’t need physiotherapy, you need plastic surgery,” Pan Goatee remarked as he lopped off the uglo’s head with his astral laser machete.

The next uglo he came across was some facially aesthetically challenged creature who was sitting on a chair in front of a barber shop.

“These poor guys have only recently opened up after 3 months of lockdown,” Pan Goatee pointed out as he lopped off this uglo’s head, “I don’t think they appreciate an ugly looking thing parked in front frightening off all the customers.”

Dostoevsky once wrote that beauty could save the world.

No wonder the western world was on the brink of a widespread Neo-Marxist insurrection with all these uglos walking about, Goatee politically philosophized.

On his way back home, Goatee passed a fat ugly blimp sitting at a bus stop.

“Why aren’t you busy tearing down statues with all the other uglos and their brainless boyfriends with incredibly bad taste in politics, economics, culture and women?” Goatee asked rhetorically aloud as he lopped off the blimp’s head.

. . .

Pope Francis the Vicar of Cthulhu and Mictlantecuhtli was sitting at his office in the Vatican when the phone rang.

“Hello, Comrade Jorge here,” Francis spoke into the receiver.

“Hello, this is the AntiOdysseus,” said the voice at the other end.

“The AntiOdysseus?” Pope Francis was quizzical.

“Yes,” answered the exasperated voice at the other end, “If there’s an Odysseus, there’s got to be an AntiOdysseus.”

“I suppose,” Francis chewed on his pencil.

“Listen, me and the boys here have just finished building a huge giant wooden statue of the Baphomet on wheels at an Italian government lodge outside Rome and we’d like to bring it down to Rome and wheel it within the walls of the Vatican,” the AntiOdysseus explained, “Is that all right?”.

“I guess that’s all right,” Francis checked his day and night planner, “If Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI was here, he’d probably object to a huge giant wooden statue of the Baphomet being wheeled into the Vatican. But he’s currently in Regensburg in Bavaria.”

. . .

“Both Nazism and Communism are the bastard children of Freemasonry.
With last night’s tearing down of the statue of the white supremacist, Aryan race promoting, swastika worshipping and Ku Klux Klan co-founding Scottish Rite Freemasonic Confederate General Albert Pike in Washington DC, it is now obvious which bastard child of Freemasonry is on the ascendant in America.
It is Communism the bastard child of French Grand Orient Lodge Freemasonry and Adam Weishaupt’s Bavarian Illuminati.”

-Renfield R. Renfield MP

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 21st
2020.

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‘Woke’ Zombies of The Apocalypse: Jacobin Terror Revisited

June 17, 2020 at 10:41 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

A group of reporters were social distancing in British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s office waiting for the parliamentarian to come out of his inner office and make a statement on the ongoing Neo-Bolshevik insurrection in America and its accompanying sympathetic protests in Britain.

How a movement that started out as peaceful protests against racism and police brutality had also produced a side movement of rioting and looting and the violent overthrow of all vestiges of the past promising a nebulous future which the ‘Woke’ zombies of the apocalypse assured everyone would be so much better than today.

The politicians who seemed to be the most sympathetic to the violent looting and rioting ‘Woke’ zombies of the Apocalypse were also those who were most in favour of keeping their citizens under perpetual lockdown and quarantine.

But then Commies of a feather always oppress together (when they’re not out in the streets re-enacting the Jacobin Reign of Terror).

Meanwhile inside his inner office, Renfield was reading the news that his favourite brand of pancake syrup was being taken off the market.

“What? No more Aunt Jemima?” Renfield exclaimed, “What happened? Did a pair of white cops kneel on her neck and then shoot her? Just wait until I get my hands on those cops.’

Renfield’s parliamentary assistant Mirabella Francesca Franconia then shooed the reporters out of the parliamentary office into the parliamentary hallway.

She didn’t want her boss getting in hot water again like he was prone to do.

Meanwhile outside on the streets of London, a courier for Brucie’s Baloney Parlour had just been run over by Boris Johnson’s motorcade when he held up a sign in front of it saying There Is No Civil War Going On In Syria.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 17th
2020.

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Kissing The Baphomet

June 15, 2020 at 10:22 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )


The Baphomet wholeheartedly approves of the U.S. Supreme Court’s latest idiotic 6-3 Supreme Court decision.

This is what happens when you name a bunch of Freemasons to the Supreme Court.

You get a bunch of satanic occultic judicial celebrations in honour of sexual perversions, debauchery and abominations.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was looking at some photographs taken by Set Enterprises Intelligence Units of six U.S. Supreme Court judges involved in a ritual ceremony where they were kissing the buttocks of the living Baphomet as opposed to a Baphomet statue (which were the only statues approved of by the Neo-Bolshevik Communists currently rioting and looting and tearing down statues across the United States and in much of the Western world).

There was some momentary consternation when Chief Justice John Roberts got his lips stuck to the living Baphomet’s buttocks.

Some “Holy” Water blessed by Pope Francis was thrown on the spectacle to see if that would detach the said Chief Justice’s lips from the said Baphomet’s buttocks.

But instead it served as a spiritual form of Crazy Glue binding the Chief Justice’s lips to the Baphomet’s buttocks even further.

Finally a welder (whose unofficial title was Court Arsonist to the Court of George Soros and a person wracking up the frequent flyer miles as he flew back and forth across U.S. cities where coincidentally various city districts went up in flames prior to his leaving) was brought in to burn Roberts’ lips off Baphomet’s buttocks.

“This definitely marks the end of the United States of America,” Renfield mused aloud as he looked at the photographs, “The country will end up being destroyed either in a Neo-Bolshevik insurrection or civil war or one massive steam bath house orgy (livestreamed on Facebook and Twitter) if not a combination of all 3. And history will record the United States of America as being unique in that it was a society that went from barbarism to decadence without ever having achieved an intermediate state of civilization.”

. . .

Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie was working in his backyard illegal and unregulated pharmaceutical manufacturing facility when he noted an environmentally eco-friendly cannabis oil powered dirigible airship flying overhead.

At first, Uncle Ernie assumed it was a creation of his own mind (or what little was left of it) due to the formula for creating a horned toad venom laced pizza that he was working with that originated in a Los Angeles based pizzaria that was called the Breasts of Marianne de Lilith Pizzaria.

However the captain of the ship after coming down a rope to the ground informed Uncle Ernie that the ship was very much real.

The ship belonged to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Set was hoping to show the world that U.S. Associate Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a hypocrate and a judicial version of Nancy Pelosi.

What she Ginsburg decreed for the masses of the nation she would never have for herself.

Set hoped to prove this point by flying Uncle Ernie to Washington DC.

Uncle Ernie would go to the Supreme Court dressed as one of his many stage female persona characters and enter Associate Justice Ginsburg’s judge’s chambers and use her own private washroom.

Uncle Ernie would be wearing a mosquito sized bodycam at the top of his brassiere peering out from the top of his low-cut evening gown and would record Justice Ginsburg’s reaction for all the world to see.

Uncle Ernie agreed to the trip (which would be of a non-hallucinogenic nature).

He wondered which one of his stage female persona he should go into Justice Ginsburg’s private washroom dressed as.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 15th
2020.

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Marxist Mingling of Voldemort and Baphomet

June 10, 2020 at 10:43 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had received an email from Set Enterprises’ newest employee the eccentric self-proclaimed alchemist Dr. Marmalade Montague formerly of Paris.

In it, Dr. Marmalade Montague had made the claim that an evil German alchemist Dr. Wilhelm Das Tore the former CEO of Fenster Software was trying to alchemically mingle the two separate entities Voldemort and Baphomet together.

“There might actually be something to Dr. Montague’s assertion,” Renfield reflected.

The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had received reports that Marxists, Maoists, Trotskyites and anarchists as well as Baal and Baphomet worshippers were trying to infiltrate the Black Lives Matter movement and use it for their own nefarious purposes.

An example of this happened in Mexico this past Monday June 8th when Baal and Baphomet worshipping anarchists attacked the Cathedral of Xalapa in the Mexican state of Veracruz and the Expiatory Temple of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

The buildings were vandalized and spray painted with satanic graffiti.

The vandalism started out as what was supposed to be a peaceful protest against police brutality in sympathy with protests in the U.S.

Of course Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxists were on the warpath on behalf of Baal and Baphomet as well.

Actors and actresses, particularly those of the millennial and gen X variety, were stringent Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxists.

A group that Renfield called the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet (because of their fondness for appropriating letters of the alphabet for themselves) envisioned an Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxist global atheistic secular state ruling the world.

But this Marxist atheistic secular global state that the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet envisioned would have a secularized form of the old ancient Hindu caste system with they the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet as the secularized form of the Brahmin caste with traditional Catholics and Bible believing Evangelical Protestants becoming the secularized form of the Dalit caste or the untouchables.

And it would be they the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet who would be the ultimate arbiters of language and particularly pronouns.

If someone used a pronoun to describe someone that the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet did not like, they would be subject to abuse and ridicule on social media and jail terms, fines and imprisonment in real life.

The Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet claimed to be about equality but really they were about superiority- for themselves.

As Renfield was writing up a dossier on all this, he reflected to himself, “It’s rather ironic that most of these Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet claim to be following basic science when it comes to Climate Change (the Greta Thunberg hypothesis of climate change that is which is asserted to be scientific dogma) but fail miserably at Science when it comes to basic principles of Biology and human anatomy.”

Writer J.K. Rowling had recently come afoul of Antonio Gramscian Cultural Marxist SJWs (and that did not stand for single Jehovah’s Witnesses – those who were unmarried and thus not getting a constant piece of tail which at least might explain their idiotic pronouncements).

J.K. Rowling had tweeted the George Orwell character Winston Smith equivalent of saying that 2 + 2 = 4.

She was immediately jumped upon by various actors and actresses from the Harry Potter series of movies (people like Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and others) who immediately tweeted and asserted in the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet equivalent of Orwellian Doublespeak that 2 +2 = 5.

“Yes, there’s definitely something to Dr. Marmalade Montague’s assertion that an alchemical mingling of Voldemort and Baphomet is unfolding along with a universe of chaos,” Renfield thought, “Voldemort is back, united with Baphomet and he seems to have the entire student population of Hogwart’s on his side.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 10th
2020.


Mirabella Francesca Franconia: Renfield R. Renfield’s Executive Assistant on the lookout for disciples of an alchemically mingled Voldemort and Baphomet

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The Elk From CERN On His Dark Throne

June 3, 2020 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Elk From CERN On His Dark Throne

Bill Gates was sitting on the couch blubbering away like a baby when his wife Melinda walked in.

“Bill, what’s wrong?” Melinda asked her husband as she poured herself a glass of champagne and opened up a tin of caviar.

“British MP Renfield R. Renfield said in a TV interview last night that I wasn’t cool enough to be the Antichrist,” Tears came down Gates’ cheeks like Niagara Falls, “He said that I was too bland and boring. And after all those billions I’ve spent trying to develop a vaccine that will be able to physically trace and track people – a digital identity card much like the Mark of the Beast system prophesied in the Book of Revelation Chapter 13. And then Renfield tells people that I’m not cool enough to be the Antichrist.”

“Well dear,” Melinda checked her text messages on her smart phone for half an hour and then went over and kissed him, “If it’s any consolation, I think you’re cool enough to be the Antichrist.”

“But Renfield said I wasn’t,” Bill Gates continued to blubber like a whale who was full of it, “And if Renfield said I was cool enough to be the Antichrist, then I really would be.”

“What about my opinion?” Melinda was furious, “Are you saying it’s only worth chopped liver?”.

“Speaking of chopped liver,” Gates started to wipe his glasses with a handkerchief, “Did you remember to pick up some Whiskas for the cat?”.

“You!” Melinda stormed off to the bedroom and slammed the door.

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was reading a report on his desk.

Apparently according to the report, the demons Baal and Baphomet had gone to the home of Dr. Anders Tegnell (who was Sweden’s chief epidemiologist) last night and had threatened him.

Dr. Tegnell was the man responsible for Sweden’s controversial decision not to impose a strict lockdown that the rest of the world had done along Stalinist-Maoist lines.

Dr. Tegnell had predicted a couple of months ago that the London models (developed by a research team in London England) showing the number of deaths that would occur due to Covid-19 were far too high a projection.

The epidemiologist said at the time that the number of deaths in Sweden due to Covid-19 would be around 4,000 the same number that usually occurs in the case of a normal flu season and there was no need to move to a total lockdown for the country.

Indeed the number of deaths for Sweden turned out to be 4,542 at this time (quite close to the number Dr. Anders Tegnell had originally predicted a couple of months ago).

While the London models (which the rest of the world’s medical experts had blindly accepted and followed) had far overestimated the number of deaths.

Dr. Anders Tegnell’s moderate approach had fitted in with the numbers he originally projected.

And yet today at a press conference, Dr. Anders Tegnell said that there were far too many deaths in the country.

Had Baal and Baphomet pressured him to attack his own approach?

. . .

Dr. Marmalade Montague (the former Paris baker who now fancied himself the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze and a time traveler from that Sun King era) had flown to Rome Italy in the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s environmentally friendly dirigible airship. 

He had gone down to visit Rome’s catacombs.

And as he was walking in one catacomb just below the Vatican, he was startled to see the demons Baal and Baphomet kneeling before an elk seated on a midnight dark black throne.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 3rd
2020.

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An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

June 2, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

Monsieur Philippe Geoffrei Gaston a TV reporter for France 24 Live (which is France’s 24/7 international news TV channel) was interviewing British MP Renfield R. Renfield to get a British perspective on Britain leaving the EU.

Renfield was eating malt vinegar covered Fish and Chips wrapped in the Times of London newspaper, drinking brown ale and eating gulab jamun for dessert which as the British MP told the French journalist would definitely be considered the most typical British cuisine in the year 2020.

“Boris Johnson says he wants a final deal between Britain and the EU before December 31st of this year or otherwise it’s a no deal Brexit,” Gaston noted, “Do you think a final deal is possible before that date?”.

“No, it will probably turn out to be a no deal Brexit,” Renfield wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“And why is that?” Gaston asked.

“Because the Europeans are so unreasonable about everything,” Renfield lit a cigar.

“Well,” Gaston frowned, “as a Brit waving good-bye to Europe, what do you think would be the best thing to happen to Europe?”.

“The best thing to happen to Europe is if a Bourbon once again sat on a restored French throne, a Hapsburg sat on a restored Austro-Hungarian throne and a Romanov sat on a restored Russian Czarist throne,” Renfield answered, as with his heavy cigar smoke, he set fire to a small bookshelf behind him on which sat three books entitled respectively The Legacy of The French Revolution, The Legacy of Woodrow Wilson and The Legacy of Lenin.

Startled by this answer, Monsieur Gaston with his cigarette accidentally set fire to the small French tricoloured flag that sat on his desk.

The interview came to an abrupt end and Renfield was then interviewed by a BBC reporter.

Towards the end of that interview, Renfield was asked by the BBC reporter Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys on whether or not Bill Gates could be the Antichrist.

“No, Bill Gates is far too bland, boring and nerdy to be the Antichrist,” Renfield answered, “his vaccine implant tracking system could pave the way for the Antichrist’s Mark of The Beast system so in that way Gates could be a forerunner. But Gates just doesn’t have that necessary cool to be the Antichrist. Lucifer is not only intelligent but also an artist who likes to dazzle with his beauty. So Gates doesn’t quite cut the mustard. Although he most likely does cut the cheese.”

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys was quite taken aback by this answer.

Humphreys’ assistant, a man dressed in a British army captain’s uniform and wearing a peacock mask over his face, enters the room where the BBC reporter is livestreaming, “Are you free, Mr. Humphreys? We’d like you to look at some video footage of Donald Trump getting a cream pie in the face thrown by an invisible entity while Trump was surrounded by Evil Empire Stormtrooper looking Military Police as black military helicopters were hovering overhead in the background. One of our video technicians, who in my opinion has been drinking far too many Harvey Wallbangers on the job, claims that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who did it. We’d like your opinion.”

“Not now,” Humphreys foamed, “I’m busy interviewing Renfield. Ask Mr. Lucas.”

“Mr. Lucas, are you free?” The peacock masked wearing army captain ran down the hall.

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys turned back to Renfield.

“So you think the Antichrist will be an artist?” Humphreys inquired.

“Yes, it will be a scientific technocratic world state that the Antichrist will be running,” Renfield answered, “But the Antichrist won’t come across as being a scientific technocrat himself as those of a strictly scientific technocratic personality are generally quite bland and boring. Most people would probably prefer being beheaded rather than pledging fealty to or offering worship to such a personality. However someone who is quite artistic and flamboyant the people would have no problem following or even worshipping. The Mexican artist Diego Rivera asked Leon Trotsky in 1938 who he thought would genuinely win the most popularity in a worldwide election if one were held, Hitler or Stalin? And Trotsky answered Hitler because Stalin too much acted the stiff technocratic scientific socialist in his personality and demeanour (unlike the smiling demeanour that Stalin was portrayed as having in Soviet art propaganda) whereas Hitler had the dramatic showmanship of an artist and could easily capture people’s emotions and feelings.”

. . .

Outside the CERN Large Hadron Collider Tunnel in Switzerland, the demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were having a picnic.

Nimrod was adding black flies to a sandwich while Asmodeus was lighting a cigarette.

A hundreds of meters tall creature with an octopus head, the wings of a dragon and the body of a human with webbed looking human arms and legs emerged from the tunnel.

“Isn’t that Cthulhu the High Priest of the Great Old Ones and the Sleeper of R’lyeh coming out of the tunnel?” Nimrod asked.

“I believe it is,” Asmodeus put on his monocle to look.

Cthulhu was followed by an elk.

“Isn’t that an elk?” Nimrod put peanut butter and jam on his black flies.

Asmodeus struggled between lighting his cigarette and putting his monocle on his right eye again, “I believe it is.”

“What’s Cthulhu doing emerging from the CERN tunnel with an elk?” Nimrod wanted to know.

“Well, I wouldn’t go down that rabbit hole if I were you,” Asmodeus was trying to decide between buffalo gryphon’s wings or teriyaki gryphon’s wings from his KFC Hybrids Bucket.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 2nd
2020.

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Qonzilqointec In Stockholm

May 31, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Qonzilqointec In Stockholm

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was walking the streets of Stockholm Sweden.

She was protected by Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Sunblock For Vampiresses on her skin which prevented her from being quite literally burnt to a crisp on a sunny Stockholm afternoon on the last day of May 2020.

Sweden (the birthplace of Scandinavian social democracy) had not instituted a lockdown during the pandemic.

And while its Covid-19 death rate of 319 deaths per million was far higher than lockdown Norway’s death rate of 40 per million and lockdown Denmark’s death rate of 91 per million, Sweden’s death rate was still lower than that of extreme lockdown Italy, extreme lockdown Spain and the extreme lockdown United Kingdom.

This naturally upset the leftist news media throughout the world as well as numerous U.S. Democratic Party politicians in the U.S. who were hoping that locking multitudes of people in their homes and forbidding them to attend public worship services would bring about the necessary spiritual conditions for the Antichrist to emerge on the world stage and finally proclaim the New World Order (for which George Soros, Bill Gates and Pope Francis had thanklessly worked their asses off the past few years).

Qonzilqointec was in Sweden because the Set Enterprises intelligence network had heard that representatives of the Communist Chinese government in Beijing and representatives of the Havana based Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike were meeting in Stockholm.

China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping and the Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike had joined forces to finance the rioting and looting part of the protests in U.S. cities over the Minneapolis murder of Afro-American George Floyd by white policeman Derek Chauvin.

It was advantageous to Xi to have mass violent protests in the U.S. so he could crush Hong Hong autonomy and maybe even invade Taiwan and forcibly make both integral parts of the Chinese Communist state while Donald Trump was preoccupied with domestic unrest in America.

And who knows maybe invade and annex other countries in Asia after that.

You probably wouldn’t want to tell this to Xi Jinping’s face but he seemed to be very much turning into a Chinese version of Japan’s Hideki Tojo (the militaristic Prime Minister of Japan during the Second World War).

As for Robur Pike, he was a genetic clone of Confederate Brigadier Gen. and Supreme Scottish Rite Freemasonic leader Albert Pike.

Robur Pike had been genetically cloned in a laboratory in Knoxville, Tennessee back in 1966 by Dr. Eckhart Fromm a Nazi scientist brought to the United States in Operation Paperclip.

Fromm had cloned Robur Pike from locks of hair belonging to Albert Pike.

Fromm died in a parachuting accident a few months later so his knowledge of genetic cloning was lost.

It was only Bill Clinton’s decision in the 1990s to spend trillions of dollars to map the human genome that would finally allow today’s scientists to accumulate the knowledge of genetic cloning that Dr. Eckhart Fromm had in his mind.

Robur Pike, like Charles Manson of mass murdering hippy fame, longed for a race war in the U.S.

Thus Pike and Xi had formed a mutual alliance and were funding white supremacists and Antifa members to travel throughout American cities and riot, loot and burn ostensibly to honour the memory of homicide victim George Floyd.

Xi’s and Pike’s representatives were meeting in neutral Stockholm.

Qonzilqointec approached the Stockholm restaurant where the two sides were meeting.

A leprechaun on a bicycle outside the restaurant handed her the crossbow and arrow that belonged to the Celtic stag god Cernunnos.

Qonzilqointec entered the restaurant and shot the representatives of both sides- Chinese Communist and Neo-Nazi.

The waiter had just arrived with their order- a special request order of Sweet and Sour Swedish meatballs.

Unfortunately both sides were now too dead to enjoy it.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 31st 
2020.

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Alan Dershowitz and Sobek

May 25, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Science, Science-Fiction, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Alan Dershowitz and Sobek

Lawyer Alan Dershowitz was conducting a thought experiment.

He was imagining himself a defence lawyer at the Old Bailey in London in 1888, that Jack the Ripper had been caught and arrested and he Dershowitz had been asked to defend the Ripper.

He was playing in his mind his opening address to the jury at the start of the Ripper’s trial, “Members of the jury, I’d like to say a few words about my client who’s the noblest Briton of them all…”

His thought experiment was interrupted by a knock at the door.

He opened it and standing there was the Egyptian crocodile god Sobek.

Dershowitz had met Sobek on a few occasions before in the presence of a presumably late former client of his Jeffrey Epstein.

Epstein used to hang out with Sobek quite often that is when the pervert pedophile financier wasn’t busy hanging out with the likes of Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Donald Trump and Prince Andrew.

“Sobek,” Dershowitz smiled, “I haven’t seen you since Jeffrey allegedly hung himself in prison after he had knocked himself out and then tied a noose around his neck while still unconscious.”

“Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end,” Sobek quoted old Mary Hopkin lyrics to the attorney.

“What brings you here?” Dershowitz waved the crocodile over to an arm chair in his living room.

“I’d like to thank you for giving those Christians a hard time who think that a mandatory vaccine could be the Mark of the Beast system prophesied in the Book of Revelation Chapter 13,” Sobek sat down and helped himself to some pretzels from an appetizer dish on the coffee table.

“It was no problem,” Dershowitz lit himself a cigar and offered one to the crocodile god which Sobek accepted, “I called their bluff by saying “We all know that the Devil can cite Scripture to his purposes.” And then I proceeded to bolster my own argument by doing just that. Citing an obscure passage in the Book of Leviticus (Chapters 12 and 13 to be precise) which nobody bothers to read anymore save the occasional old fashioned Calvinist and occasional old fashioned Presbyterian who are totally obsessed with blood and gore and all manner of obscure long winded regulations. Heck even most religious Jews don’t bother reading it anymore since we no longer do living animal sacrifices in the contemporary Israelite religion. I myself am a secular inclined Jew. I suppose if I were religious, I might belong to the Synagogue of Satan that Christ and Saint John the Apostle warned about.”

“Glad to hear it,” Sobek blew smoke rings in the shape of Nile River bulrushes.

“Why are you so into mandatory vaccines?” Dershowitz asked.

“Well our friend Jeffrey was into mandatory vaccines,” Sobek smiled showing his perfectly snow white teeth.

“That I didn’t know,” Dershowitz poured a brandy and offered one to Sobek which the crocodile god accepted, “what type of vaccine was he into developing?”.

“It could be used for anything actually,” Sobek sipped his brandy, “He was intending to use administering the vaccine as a cover for something else.”

“And what would that be?” Dershowitz inquired.

“To change people’s DNA,” Sobek answered.

“I knew Jeffrey was obsessed with the idea of creating a master race,” Dershowitz moved a chess piece on a board next to him, “My cousin Anna’s best friend Rachel’s rabbi Goldbloom didn’t approve because it reeked of the Nazis Heinrich Himmler and Adolf Eichmann and their work.”

“Jeffrey was investigating cases where alleged UFO abductees were supposedly given alien implants aboard the UFOs they were taken,” Sobek explained.

Dershowitz looked on in horror as an invisible opponent captured his Queen.

He then looked over at Sobek.

“That I didn’t know,” Dershowitz swallowed his cigar and had to wash it down with brandy, “Jeffrey was always full of surprises.”

“Some doctors did find strange implants in the bodies of a few alleged UFO abductees,” Sobek pointed out, “And what these implants had in common was they were slowing changing the DNA of the abductees.”

“To what?” Dershowitz asked.

“Jeffrey wasn’t sure,” Sobek shrugged, “But it was something not human. His research came to an abrupt end when he was arrested and later suicided in prison.”

“I take it Jeffrey was wanting to administer these DNA changing implants to people,” Dershowitz moved a white bishop on the board.

“He was,” Sobek nodded, “But he realized most people, like the abductees aboard the alien craft, would probably object to having these implants. So he thought they could be administered as an extra bonus. Like say with a mandatory vaccine.”

“I wonder if Jeffrey ever discussed his plans with Bill Gates,” Dershowitz played with his white bishop and a black king’s knight as he looked over at the TV screen and it was showing some old news footage of Bill Gates meeting Pope Francis a few years back.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 25th
2020.

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Marxist Totalitarianism and The Higher Committee of Human Fraternity

May 14, 2020 at 10:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Marxist Totalitarianism and The Higher Committee of Human Fraternity

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was delivering another of his famous podcasts which are so upsetting to leftist airheads.

“Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer is starting to resemble a demon more and more with each passing day,” Renfield ate a tuna fish sandwich, “which is no surprise since being a Marxist totalitarian at heart, she’s using the Covid-19 pandemic to enact the most draconian measures in the entire American Union. And now she’s getting upset that there are groups of people actually opposed to her. Demagogues aren’t able to tolerate any opposition. Just ask Communist China’s Xi Jinping, North Korea’s Kim Jong-un or California’s Gavin Newsom who recently became upset after he got one of his perfectly coiffured hairs knocked out of place when an invisible entity threw a cream pie in the Sacramento despot’s face after he said, “I want to make it illegal for anyone in California to criticize me or question my decisions.” 

“Now turning back to our Stalinist witch in Michigan,” Renfield sipped a martini, “she has ordered police in Michigan to listen in on all the cellphone conversations of people who attended the lockdown protest rallies in the state capital of Michigan. No doubt the ghosts of Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and the cross dressing J. Edgar Hoover would wholeheartedly approve of the wicked bitch’s decisions seeing as how wiretapping and listening in on phone conversations was right up their alley.”

Renfield opened a bottle of bourbon, “And of course like all Communist feminist airheads everywhere, she naturally accused those who disagreed with her innately draconian polices and state intervention overreach of being “misogynists” and “racists”. The increasingly demonic looking and less human looking with each passing day Gov. Whitmer made the comments while addressing that illustrious panel of non-illustrious airheads better known as the View. She complained about the protestors holding Nazi signs. Would those be the signs that said Heil Whitmer and had a swastika beneath them? No doubt it was totally lost on the Marxist airhead that protestors were comparing her policies with Hitler’s and was not meant to be taken as a seal of approval for Germany’s late lamented Fuhrer who killed himself in a bunker in Berlin but would have planned a tunnel and submarine escape to Argentina if only he had had access to America’s History Channel programming of the mid-2010s.”

“Then of course the Wicked Bitch of Lansing also complained about Confederate flags at the rally,” Renfield took a swig of Jack Daniels, “I take it what she probably meant was General Robert E. Lee’s Battle Flag of Northern Virginia as nobody has really actually flown the flag of the Confederate States of America as it actually looked in the Confederate capital of Richmond, Virginia once the Confederacy lost the Civil War. Lee’s Battle Flag was associated with Lee and not the Confederate government as historically Robert E. Lee was always considered a great man while the same could probably not be said for Jefferson Davis’ administration. In fact Robert E. Lee’s portrait along with portraits of Abraham Lincoln and Benjamin Franklin were the 3 portraits that President Dwight D. Eisenhower (the former Supreme Commander of Allied Forces in Europe during World War II) had hanging in the Oval Office when he served as America’s 34th President. Lee himself was an abolitionist having freed his own slaves long before Union General Ulysses S. Grant had freed his and wrote that even the Confederacy won the war, it would, at some point in the future, have to abolish slavery since no civilized society could survive if it maintained such an inhumane institution. Lee’s reputation and his battle flag of northern Virginia took a beating in the 2010s with the advance of historically illiterate millennials and Gen Xers and you saw scenes of the unwashed, unkempt and uncouth anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans of Antifa trying to tear down Robert E. Lee’s statues back in 2015 and 2016.”

“I suppose one good thing about this pandemic as far as the U.S. goes is one now knows how inherently Marxist totalitarian most U.S. Democratic Party politicians are,” Renfield switched over to Red Rose tea, “People like California Gov. Gavin Newsom, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam and New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio are total scumbags as are numerous other Democratic Party mayors and governors. Of course if one examined the statements of now withdrawn Democratic Presidential candidates Beto O’ Rourke and Pete Buttigieg very carefully when they were running, one would have realized that Marxist totalitarian scumbaggery was definitely alive and well in the U.S. Democratic Party. As it is very much alive and well in the editorial viewpoints of the Washington Post and The New York Times. And as it is very much alive and well in the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. No doubt most of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops as well as most of the German Catholic Bishops’ Conference and most of Pope Francis’ Vatican help make up the one third of Catholic bishops, that the Virgin Mary told the 3 shepherd children at Fatima, would be serving Satan that she mentioned in the Third Secret (which no doubt explains why the Vatican has never publicly released the text of that secret but only the Vision associated with it).”

. . .

The Kabbalistic Cardinal Samhain Cardinal Salaman was walking the halls of the Vatican.

Last night Cardinal Salaman (one of the few heterosexual cardinals working within Pope Francis’ Vatican) had been visited in his bedroom by a beautiful red-headed French woman who made out with him.

This morning when he woke up, the woman was gone but she had left him a face mask on the bureau next to his bed side.

When he went to put it on, Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander (who had once served as the Cardinal’s magician’s assistant back in the days when the Cardinal worked as a professional stage magician) ran away with it.

Later as he made his morning rounds around the Vatican, there were reports of a mermaid riding a fire breathing black horse being seen in the halls.

And now it was nighttime.

And Pope Francis approached him.

The ex-Vicar of Christ (“Vicar of Myself” was what he now called himself) was carrying a copy of Jules Verne’s book Master of The World.

The cover of the book had the autographed signature of Bill Gates.

“Samhain,” Francis greeted him, “Come into this room. I’d like you to meet the Higher Committee of Human Fraternity.”

Samhain followed the Bishop of Rome Jorge Mario Bergoglio into the room.

He was shocked to see a group of sinister looking reptilian ETs beaming down from a large space ship over the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica.

At one time the sight would have been noticed by everyone but due to lockdown (and the fact that Italy’s most popular female porn star was currently singing the Italian national anthem on both television and livestream at the present moment), the eyes of the nation were directed elsewhere.

“This,” said a shocked Samhain Cardinal Salaman as he looked around, “is the Higher Committee of Human Fraternity?”.

The tallest of the reptilian ETs spoke, “We’re better known as the Ascended Masters in the writings of Helena Petrovna Blavatsky, Annie Besant, Alice A. Bailey and various New Age writers.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 14th
2020.

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Fatima, Sodom, Mohammad bin Salman and Lady MacBeth

May 13, 2020 at 10:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Fatima, Sodom, Mohammad bin Salman and Lady MacBeth

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was standing outside the Catholic shrine at Fatima, Portugal alongside one of the commanders of the Portuguese National Republican Guard.

Several soldiers belonging to the guard (who had been guarding the shrine against Catholic pilgrims wanting to attend the site to mark the 103rd anniversary of the 1st appearance of the Virgin Mary to 3 shepherd children at the location) had died at their posts after their face masks had suffocated them to death.

The deaths by suffocation had occurred after a mermaid riding a fire breathing black horse had rode by each man.

“Each one of the dead men had text messaged their friends about being visited in their beds in the middle of the night by a mysterious beautiful woman,” the Commander explained, “Whitstable, do you have any idea who this woman is?”.

“Well, I doubt very much it was Nancy Pelosi or any of her supporters,” Whitstable answered.

. . .

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman was wrestling with the fact that his desert kingdom was now facing bankruptcy.

He now held in his hands the report from his country’s Finance Minister about the state of the situation.

How could this happen to him, a devoted servant of Allah who had been waging and financing a genocidal civil war against the Houthi peoples of Yemen for the past 5 years?

He who had served up pieces of dissident Saudi journalists as appetizers to Dr. Hannibal Lecter wannabes?

Only months ago, he had tried to wreck both the Russian oil industry and the U.S. shale oil industry by ramping up production of Saudi oil and driving the price down to below zero dollars a barrel .

Now that decision had turned around to bite him in the ass.

Well it was actually New York City Council Speaker Corey Johnson (who had recently been taught astral projection by the demon Baphomet) who was sodomizing him in the rear end.

Johnson who had been astral flying over a road that went down from Jerusalem to Jericho remarked contemptuously “Samaritan’s Purse!” when he saw a man being carried on the back of a donkey and helped by a kind stranger after the man had fallen among thieves.

The act reminded Johnson of that organization headed by Rev. Franklin Graham who was a kind humanitarian and not an abominable sexual pervert.

Fortunately for Johnson, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (on the advice of both King Herod’s ghost and New York State’s powerful Sodom and Gomorrah lobby) were going to tax Samaritan’s Purse medical volunteers even though they worked for nothing running a field hospital emergency tent in NYC during the height of the Covid-19 crisis.

As Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman was being sodomized by Johnson’s “astral body”, he reflected among his many other troubles that even his royal personal spirit guide the ghost of Lady MacBeth had left him.

. . .

Pope Francis shrieked when he saw the ghost of Lady MacBeth standing before him in his papal bedroom.

“What’s a woman doing in my bedroom?” He bellowed as he called out to his papal puffter personal aide and secretary.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 13th
2020

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