The Feast of The Beast 2023
Back in 1955 the Greek goddess Artemis was in possession of the silver arrow of Chiron the centaur
Attending a Chiron the Centaur exhibit at the British Museum in March 1955, the Greek goddess Artemis had the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur in her purse.
Artemis exited her vehicle to walk to the British Museum.
A female Soviet KGB agent who was a master pickpocket stole the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur.
It was taken to Moscow where it was placed in the KGB Archives but lost by one KGB Archivist Harry Wooismeovich.
For his efforts, Harry Wooismeovich was shot by firing squad under orders by Nikita Khrushchev.
Harry Wooismeovich’s last words were “Oh, who’s Winston Churchill?” in answer to a British government telegram for clemency and “Woo is me!” in answer to being shot.
The silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur was thus lost to history.
Causing the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit to face a dilemma on March 23rdrd 2023.
Every March 23rd was the Feast of The Beast for some dark magic practicing occultic secret societies.
Among the dark deities venerated by these occultic secret societies was Apophis the Egyptian god of chaos and darkness.
Once long ago in the mists of antiquity it was the case that every night Apophis would attack the solar barge of Ra the Egyptian god of light and the sun.
The Egyptian god Set would come to Ra’s aid every night and defeat Apophis.
In those days Set was considered a hero and a good guy.
He only became a villain to history after cutting up his brother Osiris into 14 pieces (even though Osiris was the Egyptian Justin Trudeau of his day and most likely deserved what he got).
Miranda Singh of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had discovered that one dark magic occultic secret society would be sacrificing a ghost of all things on this particular Feast of the Beast.
And the ghost would be sacrificed down in Cornwall to prevent a descendant of King Arthur from rising to power on the world stage and instead allow a descendant of Mordred to rise to power on the world stage.
King Arthur had been born at Tintagel Castle in Cornwall and the sacrifice of the ghost would be performed at Tintagel Castle.
A ghostly sacrifice rather than a human sacrifice was necessary to enact a major geopolitical event.
And the ghost chosen for the Tintagel Castle Cornwall sacrifice was none other than the ghost of Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander who was a personal friend of Sherrielock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes’ quite literally immortal twin sister), Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Orson Welles.
Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander had been waylaid in London’s Highgate Cemetery last night by Persephone the Greek goddess of the Underworld and a rag tag group of Breton korrigans.
The ghostly sacrifice would be performed by a demon possessed elk who had been given as a gift to Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby by the U.S. Federal Cabinet of Joe Biden in appreciation for his support of gay and transgender rights.
Apparently the only way of slaying a demon possessed elk was to kill it with a silver arrow.
After a brief meeting of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit in which the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds (the Anglo-Catholic Vicar of St. Genevieve’s Church in West London and the Church of England’s leading exorcist who tried to exorcise Italian historian Roberto de Mattei the only known person (so far) to have become demonically possessed as a result of receiving the DeathVaxx vaccine) served as an advisor, it was agreed that the most effective way of slaying this demonically possessed elk was to use the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur.
Which was lost to history.
So Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles using the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern projector went back in time to steal the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur from the Greek goddess Artemis before Nikita Khrushchev’s acclaimed pickpocket female KGB agent had the chance to do so.
Dracul saw Artemis exiting her vehicle on the night of the Chiron the Centaur Exhibit at the British Museum:
Van Helsing immediately grabbed the arrow.
Artemis said, “Dracul, how dare you steal the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur?”.
She immediately grabbed Van Helsing, took him over her knee and spanked him.
While being spanked, Dracul threw the silver arrow to the ghost of Orson Welles who went forward in time to the place of Tintagel Castle in Cornwall on the night of Thursday March 23rd 2023.
Van Helsing then made love 💕 to the Greek goddess Artemis on the large luxurious back seat of the classic 1950s era vehicle.
After goddess and vampire hunter had finished rocking the vehicle, Dracul went forward in time to Tintagel Castle in Cornwall on the night of Thursday March 23rd 2023.
He grabbed his crossbow and the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur from the ghost of Orson Welles.
The Celtic stag god Cernunnos had already been killing with his crossbow and silver arrows various supernatural entities participating in the ceremony.
For reasons known only to himself, the Celtic stag god did not wish to see a descendant of Mordred ascend to power on the world stage.
The demon possessed elk was raising the supernatural sword 🗡️ Excalibur above the ghostly spectral salamander throat of Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander.
Both Cernunnos and Van Helsing fired their crossbows at the same time.
After a silver arrow pierced the demon possessed elk’s throat, the elk said in Latin in Shakespearian Julius Caesar like fashion, “And thou, Cernunnos? Or was it thou, Dracul?.”
Even Cernunnos’ PH Unbalanced hairstylist didn’t know for sure.
Thus it was a question/answer never asked on the Canadian-American game show ghost host Alex Trebek’s TV program Jeopardy in the Elysian Fields of the Realm of the Underworld.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 23rd
2023.
Renfield’s Comment On The U.S. Downing of A Communist Chinese S₱y Balloon
₱an Goatee Beheads Yet Another Re₱ulsive Uglo On A December Afternoon
World famous genetically created satyr ₱an Goatee had gone to a donair ₱lace he hadn’t been to for a while to have one of their delicious and inex₱ensive donairs.
The FIFA World Cu₱ and The Summoning of An Evil Djinn
The Odin Gungnir Rocket: From Wernher von Braun To Kim Jong-un
Yale University librarian Krista Shearer locates a rare book of sonnets written by little known Irish ₱oet Sean McHendry as FBI S₱ecial Agent Cameron Brown looks on.
Athena At The St. James’ Court Hotel In Lndon
The Greek goddess Athena at the St. James’ Court Hotel in London
The Greek goddess Athena was in London at the St. James’ Court Hotel where she would be attending a Johann Strauss style Viennese ball.
Her date for this evening would be Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
In addition to dancing, they would also be discussing geopolitical affairs as they danced.
When Dracul Van Helsing entered the ballroom, he was confronted by this vision.
As they danced to the music of the Blue Danube, the goddess and the vampire hunter discussed the Russia-Ukraine War and the possibility of nuclear war.
“The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set the owner of Set Enterprises here in London has been working behind the scenes to prevent nuclear war,” Dracul explained, “The same cannot be said for Isis, Osiris and their son Horus and their Freemasonic and Neo-Bolshevik Communist allies and the puppet whose strings they pull senile old fool Joe Biden who are all gung ho for nuclear war.”
“I guess they figure it’s a lot easier to Build Back Better when a few atomic mushroom clouds are decorating the landscape of the atmosphere,” Athena mused aloud.
“Set is dealing personally with operations against Isis, Osiris, Horus and Joe Biden,” Dracul nodded, “While his former employee the British MP Renfield R. Renfield is overseeing operations against Vladimir Putin so he doesn’t start a nuclear war.”
“And how’s that going?” Athena inquired.
“Well first we tried diplomacy,” Dracul noted, “We sent over the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec to try to talk to him diplomatically but he made a pass at her and so the whole thing failed. She kicked him right where it hurt. So Putin was unable to emerge from the meeting waving a condom in his hand and saying, “Piece in our time.” Diplomacy was over.”
“And then what was the next method of persuasion?” Athena smiled.
“We tried extortion and blackmail,” Dracul replied, “The good old Raymond “Red” Reddington of The Blacklist TV show approach. I managed to obtain some compromising photos of Putin in compromising positions with high-priced escort call girls at The Catherine The Great Hotel Hilton in downtown Moscow. Renfield sent over the ghost of Orson Welles to the Kremlin with those compromising photos in a spectral violin case. Welles said to Putin those photos would be released to both Russia and the world in the event he launched a nuclear attack on anyone.”
“And what was Putin’s response?” Athena wanted to know.
“Putin just laughed,” Dracul answered, “And said those photos would increase his popularity among the Russian people. Showing how young and virile he was for a 70-year-old leader.”
“As opposed to dementia and paving the way for a massive diaper shortage in the U.S. in Joe Biden’s case,” Athena acknowledged.
“Exactly,” Dracul agreed.
“So, what is your next strategy?” Athena was curious.
“Well, “diplomacy stunk” to paraphrase Charlie Chaplin’s Great Dictator character of Adenoid Hynkel. And “extortion stunk” to again paraphrase Charlie Chaplin’s Great Dictator character of Adenoid Hynkel. So now is the time to bring in the “big guns” which are “tomatoed buns”. We plan to send over world-famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes to tomato Vladimir Putin’s buttocks until he agrees to end the war in Ukraine,” Dracul explained.
“But how will Sherrielock get into Russia?” Athena asked, “It is my understanding that the Russian Air Defense Ministry have Dominatrixes preeminently pinpointed on their radar screens?”.
“Well, Sherrielock used to own an immortal white horse called Excalibur Lightning,” Dracul noted, “This horse could travel the world at lightning speed. Unfortunately at the outbreak of World War I in August 1914, the German secret service and the German Navy horsenapped Sherrielock’s horse and took it aboard a German u-boat and sailed to the waters of Canada’s High Arctic where it was said they buried it under a medieval Norse temple to the Norse goddess Freya. They did it to prevent Sherrielock Holmes riding over to Germany and tomatoing the buttocks of the Kaiser Wilhelm II to quickly end that war.”
“And has this horse been found?” Athena inquired.
“Yes, a team sent out by Set Enterprises happened to find it yesterday,” Dracul was pleased to announce.
An idiotic apologist for Charlie Chaplin’s Great Dictator character of Adenoid Hynkel kept throwing angry glances in Dracul Van Helsing’s direction.
The idiot Hynkel apologist whose name was Socrates1234 (because that was the highest he could count) went over to the punch bowl to pour himself a glass of punch.
Harvey Tallbanger the invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit and secret agent for Set Enterprises put several drops of hemlock into the idiot Hynkel apologist Socrates1234’s glass of punch.
The idiot Hynkel apologist dropped dead on the spot after drinking the hemlock laced glass of punch.
Since he had no ID on him, he was taken to a charity paupers’ funeral home where his memorial service was presided over by an Ashkenazi Jewish rabbi.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Tuesday October 18th
2022.
They Call Her Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff
Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff the owner of the Catherine the Great Moscow Hilton in downtown Moscow Russia
Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff was the owner of the Catherine the Great Moscow Hilton in downtown Moscow Russia.
She was also the behind the scenes owner of The Bunny Shaped Potato Ranch Motel on the outskirts of Moscow Idaho.
The Bunny Shaped Potato Ranch Motel was famous for once having Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie as a guest there.
Uncle Ernie sought refuge there after he became the only guest in all of recorded history to be kicked out of the Hotel Calfornia (which was unusual because as the Eagles song informs us “You can check out but you can never leave”).
Uncle Ernie was also kicked out of The Bunny Shaped Potato Ranch Motel as well.
The problem was that The Bunny Shaped Potato Ranch Motel was full of beautiful, sexy and very attractive usually scantily clad female employees.
And the problem as far as Uncle Ernie was concerned was that he kept stealing and trying on for himself the few sexy dresses that the scantily clad female employees of The Bunny Shaped Potato Ranch Motel had.
So Uncle Ernie was then thrown into a potato sack and dropped off on Interstate 90 in Idaho where unfortunately he was not run over by any motor vehicle.
The potato sack wearing Uncle Ernie was picked up by a bus load of nuns who were headed to a retreat being held on Lake Coeur d’Alene.
But that’s another story.
Let’s just say they’ve never had another transgendered Jewish Rastafarian nun ever since.
Although Pope Francis is working on it since he views it as quite possibly the greatest accomplishment of his senile Synodality project.
There were rumours abounding in Moscow Russia that the Catherine the Great Moscow Hilton Hotel was likewise a brothel.
But that couldn’t be the case because self-proclaimed devout Orthodox Christian Vladimir Putin was seen going in and out of the hotel all the time.
Anyways Set Enterprises was trying to prevent a global nuclear war unleashed by Russia’s psychopathic wanna be reborn Czar Peter the Great.
To that end this past Wednesday October 5th Set Enterprises sent the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec to Moscow to negotiate in face to face talks with the Russian leader.
Diplomacy failed after Russian President Vladimir Putin tried to make a pass at the sexy Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.
“I’m really the great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg,” Putin winked at her.
“You strike me more as being a PH unbalanced sasquatch teller of tall and incredibly boring tales,” Qonzilqointec remarked prior to kicking him in his tiny testicles with her spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.
So diplomacy had failed.
Set Enterprises was now trying blackmail.
It had sent Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to Moscow Russia to interview Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff the owner of The Catherine the Great Moscow Hilton Hotel and get her to admit and maybe even provide camera video footage of Vladimir Putin cavorting with high priced call girl escorts.
Dracul Van Helsing entered the bedroom of Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff and was confronted by this sight:
“Hello, Madame Natasha,” Van Helsing smiled, “How would you like to lie back on your bed and I’ll present to you Saint Thomas Aquinas’ Cosmological Argument for the Existence of God?”.
Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff did just that and Dracul Van Helsing presented to the madame the Angelic Doctor’s Cosmological Argument For The Existence of God with a never before heard of method of discourse using illustrations from the Kama Sutra brought to life to argue the case for Intelligent Design of the Cosmos.
By the time Van Helsing had finished, Madame Natasha Rachmaninoff was not only a confirmed theist but a confirmed Thomistic philosopher as well.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 7th
2022.
Carson Cody Albion and The Deadliest of Spies
Carson Cody Albion Private Eye had been asked to trail and follow a female Russian spy- an assignment he was very much enjoying
It was the spring of 1957.
And Carson Cody Albion Private Eye was walking the sidewalks of Los Angeles.
He had been hired to tail a female Russian spy.
It was a tail he was very much enjoying.
Suddenly Albion was accosted by a store detective who had noticed that the private eye was following the woman.
“What are you?” The store detective got up close into Albion’s face, “Some sort of pervert?”.
“No, I’m not a Hollywood producer,” Albion decked the man with his fists and knocked him out cold.
He had lost track of the woman.
A gentle breeze at that moment carried with it a whiff of the woman’s sensuous perfume.
Albion was back on track.
The woman entered an apartment building.
Albion recognized the building.
Janos Korda a Hungarian physicist who had fled his homeland after the failed 1956 uprising against Communist rule the year before lived there.
Korda had found a job working at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena.
One of the founders of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory was rocket engineer Jack Parsons.
Jack Parsons had been back in the 1940s a disciple of English occultist Aleister Crowley.
In early 1946 Parsons and science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard who was also a disciple of Crowley (Hubbard would later go on to found the Church of Scientology) worked on a series of magic rituals that they called the Babalon Working.
The rituals invoked the spirit of the Whore of Babylon.
Also called Babalon.
Crowley and the two men claimed they succeeded.
Parsons was killed in a home laboratory explosion in 1952.
Although police felt that the 37-year-old Parsons’ death was an accident, other associates suspected it was suicide or murder.
When Korda had arrived to work at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, the fluent English language speaker Korda had been given a notebook of Parsons to read and analyze.
The notes consisted of Thelemite meditation techniques (Thelema had been the name of the religion founded by Aleister Crowley).
While meditating Korda came in contact with an entity calling itself Aiwass (the same entity that Crowley claimed to have once contacted and later sketched. The entity resembles an ET alien gray).
Aiwass gave Korda the plans for a new type of rocket.
Korda was so impressed with Aiwass’ plans that he wrote rocket engineer Wernher von Braun about it.
Unfortuntately Janos Korda’s letter to von Braun was intercepted by a Communist in the U.S. Post Office (Unfortunately Wisconsin Sen. Joe McCarthy had neglected to look for Communists in the U.S. Post Office).
The letter found its way to Soviet KGB headquarters in Moscow.
And thus the beautiful and lovely Alexandra Murthanoccasio Popovitch was dispatched to Los Angeles to seduce Janos Korda.
She got into his apartment.
She got into his arms.
And she got into his notebook (in which he had detailed Aiwass’ plans for rocketry and missiles).
Once the notebook was in her left hand, she shot him dead with her right hand.
Carson Cody Albion, who had stopped to buy himself a Coke from the apartment building’s Coke machine, thought that perhaps he shouldn’t have stopped to buy himself a Coke as soon as he heard the gun shots.
He tried to finish his bottle of Coke as quickly as he could and then ran upstairs.
When he entered the apartment, Janos Korda was lying dead on the floor and Korda’s pet budgie was saying, “The horror. The horror.”
“Excuse me,” Albion asked the budgie, “But are you saying “The horror. The horror.” ? Or “The whore. The whore.”? Because there is a difference you know.”
Meanwhile the lovely and beautiful Alexandra Murthanoccasio Popovitch was already fleeing down the fire escape.
A group of Grade 7 boys from a nearby private boys’ school were already looking straight up the fire escape at the tight skirted dress lovely female spy’s descent.
Their Art Appreciation teacher (who was a woman) who had been escorting them on a walk to a nearby art gallery suddenly broke into a lecture on the dangers of blindness (or even jail!) if one engaged in a certain physical activity (particularly in public).
As for the notebook, it returned safely to Moscow along with the lovely and beautiful Alexandra Murthanoccasio Popovitch.
Aiwass’ plans for the rocket were successful.
The USSR launched the Sputnik 1 satellite a few months later.
As for Aiwass’ missile, that took a little longer to develop.
Until Wednesday April 20th 2022.
When Russian President Vladimir Putin announced the launch of a new intercontinental ballistic missile.
As he warned the West not to keep threatening Russia’s security in the Ukraine War.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 20th
2022.
Maria Alexa Romanova
Grand Duchess Maria Alexa Romanova
The Grand Duchess Maria Alexa Romanova (a second cousin once removed to the late Czar of Russia Nicholas II) sat on her cushioned double headed Phoenix throne in her Paris hotel room in the year 1936.
Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was at her feet where he had landed after coming from the future using the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern for time travel.
The ghost of Orson Welles had accompanied him.
Welles’ ghost had landed in a comfortable arm chair in the hotel room and was even now sampling a glass of champagne next to him as well as a dish of Black Sea caviar.
“Who are you?” The Grand Duchess and 12th in line to the Russian Imperial Throne asked.
“I’m Dracul Van Helsing and this is my friend the ghost of Orson Welles,” the vampire hunter replied.
“But I thought Orson Welles was still alive,” Maria stated, “A rising young star on both stage and radio.”
“I was back in the day,” Welles licked his ghostly fingers, “But I died on October 10th 1985 after giving what turned out to be my last interview on the Merv Griffin Show where I talked about the happiness of hedgehogs, my sex life and Rita Hayworth.”
“I hope only two of those things are connected in that last statement you made,” Dracul looked concerned.
“You’re from the future?” Maria Alexa looked surprised, “Why are you here?”.
“Because Franz Kohler the last surviving member of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau and a vampire intends to kidnap you,” Van Helsing answered.
“But why?” The Grand Duchess leaned back on her cushiony throne.
“Something to do with the Ukrainian Azov Nazi Battalions,” Van Helsing replied.
“The… what?” Maria tried to grasp what was being said.
“Nazis of our time period in the early 21st Century,” Van Helsing explained, “The brainless mainstream media of our day in the West don’t talk about them because they don’t want to admit that Vladimir Putin could be right about anything.”
“Vladimir…?” The name froze on the Grand Duchess’ tongue.
“Putin,” Welles finished the last of his Black Sea caviar, “Russia’s leader of our day.”
“Glad to see that pig Stalin didn’t find the secret to immortality,” Maria Alexa breathed a sigh of relief.
“No but Transhumanist billionaire oligarchs of our day are working on it for themselves,” Welles’ ghost got on the phone and asked Room Service to send some spectral coq au vin up to the room, “although Stalin does have a number of ardent disciples in the Western world such as a pale faced lily white boy named Justin Castro Trudeau who lives in Ottawa Canada and is jealous of the appearance of African-Americans.”
“What is the connection between this Ahnenerbe SS officer Franz Kohler and the Ukrainian Nazi Azov Battalions?” The Grand Duchess inquired.
“They’re all disciples of the Black Sun,” Van Helsing answered.
“The Black Sun?” Maria Alexa was surprised by all these terms.
“The Black Sun is really a brownish red dwarf star called Nemesis which orbits around the planet Nibiru as it travels across the galaxy,” Van Helsing noted, “First noted in little known ancient Egyptian texts and Franz Kohler became obsessed with them. Solar winds from Nemesis may have combined with solar winds from our own sun named Sol Invictus in terms of cosmology to have produced a rather spectacular display of the Aurora Borealis Northern Lights back on January 25th 1938 in fulfillment of the Virgin Mary’s prophecy at Fatima that this would be the sign the Second World War would soon start.”
“What does all this have to do with me?” Maria wanted to know.
“We’re not sure but we want to prevent Franz Kohler from kidnapping you and taking you back to the future to the city of Kiev,” Van Helsing sat beside the Grand Duchess.
“There’s only a limited time period for Kohler to kidnap you before his time travel debit card expires,” Welles finished the champagne, “Ah, I see looking at my Dick Tracy style spectral television wrist watch that our partner in time Michelangelo has just successfully used one of his Hydra blood dipped lobster antennae to jab and poison Franz Kohler in his ankle in the lobby of the hotel. This means you’re safe, Your Imperial Highness.”
“So what shall we do now?” The Grand Duchess asked.
“How about make love?” Van Helsing suggested.
The two were soon making out on the large cushioned double headed Phoenix throne just as Room Service arrived with the coq au vin.
“That would be for me,” Welles motioned to the bell boy.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 19th
2022.
Dracul and Voluptas Hedone: An Afternoon Near Byzantium
Voluptas Hedone: The daughter of Cupid and Psyche from Greek mythology
There was a lot of Byzantine intrigue going on in the city of Constantinople (today called Istanbul).
The city was not far from the conflict known as the Russia-Ukraine War (called a “special military operation” by Russian President Vladimir Putin and called “an attack on that place that gave my no-good bum son Hunter a job for doing nothing” by Joe Biden).
Joe Biden had started the day in Washington DC in front of a Business Roundtable of U.S. Corporate CEOs.
He was totally undressed except for wearing a fig leaf that covered his long dead sword and with his behind he painted the floor a very dark brown colour that Pablo Picasso would have never considered painting during his “Blue period”.
While looking like this, Biden informed the CEOs present that from now on he was to be regarded as “the leader of the New World Order”.
Such a proclamation had not been delivered since the days of the most insane ancient Roman Emperors.
Even though Biden had proclaimed himself the “leader of the New World Order” the Biden Administration told the Israeli government in Jerusalem that it should be the one “mediating the war between Russia and Ukraine and bringing it to a peaceful conclusion”.
While Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett sat contemplating whether the bagel and coffee in front of him was totally kosher, he pondered Biden’s idiotic pronouncement and his idiotic passing of the buck (or was it a shekel?) to the Israeli government to peacefully end the Russia-Ukraine War.
Meanwhile in the City of Istanbul (that city of Byzantine intrigue originally founded by the Roman Emperor Constantine) the Israeli Mossad agent codenamed the Star of Azazel was passing out blueprints of the proposed Third Temple of Jerusalem to Turkish Freemasons.
The former Israeli Mossad agent codenamed the Controller of the Golem (who resigned his commission because he couldn’t stand the Star of Azazel’s growing influence within Mossad) managed to get ahold of one of these blueprints in an Istanbul fish market.
He got the shock of his life.
The proposed Third Temple was built in the shape of a giant pyramid with a giant eyeball serving as the capstone.
Nathan (the real first name of the Controller of The Golem) sent a copy of the blue print to his friend the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit sent out Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles (who were currently staying in a chalet in Switzerland) to Istanbul to investigate.
In a forest not far from Istanbul, Dracul and Welles’ ghost waited to rendezvous with the Controller of the Golem.
Nathan was held up by police in Istanbul because he had accidentally spilled his hot chocolate over a photo of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (the would-be Sultan of a Revived Ottoman Empire) in a Turkish coffee bazaar (which was considered a capital offense in President Erdogan’s eyes).
As Nathan used his best Kievan Jewish grandfather’s skills in trying to BS his way out of a difficult situation, Dracul and Welles’ ghost waited for him to arrive.
Dracul decided to go sightseeing while Welles’ ghost sat on the grass sampling a spectral glass of ghostly red wine from a ghostly picnic basket as he also ate a ghostly leg of fried chicken.
It was at the edge of the forest that Dracul Van Helsing spotted Voluptas Hedone the daughter of the Greco-Roman deities Cupid and Psyche.
Naturally Dracul Van Helsing being Dracul Van Helsing decided to make out with her.
Voluptas Hedone was only happy to oblige.
As the breeze of the forest seemed to sing that old song Roll Me Over In The Clover, Welles’ ghost and the Controller of The Golem approached the scene.
“Wow, Dracul, you should see what the Holy of Holies in the Third Temple of Jerusalem is going to look like,” Welles’ ghost stated.
Then he saw what Van Helsing and Voluptas Hedone were doing.
“Holy of Holies!” Welles’ ghost exclaimed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 22nd
2022.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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